Omg i almost cried listening to this. Its impossible to explain to a judge these people will do anything, including harm their own children, only to hurt us. No one that "hasn't been there" believes that and we know it deep inside to be the case..
I feel your frustration! The drowning is my biggest fear in dealing with my ex. Fighting for custody now, an it makes no sense why him having them at all is an option unless it supervised . But even the GAL thinks he’s some great guy because he’s so manipulative an charismatic. He’s an alcoholic, domestic violence classes drug an alcohol classes multiple times an still trying to get full custody. Smh I want to scream at everyone in the court room like it’s a no brainer here !!! The system is completely fkddd
Hello, I am dealing this right now. My ex is now hitting my daughter and nobody will help. The GAL thinks he is just playing around with her. We go to court in 2 weeks but it's to prove he is still drinking even though the judge ordered nobody to drink around her..
Thank you for your insights and for the care you have taken to qualify your discussion to say "his or hers" since this type of disorder can exist in all genders!
My narc hasn’t paid any support in two years and I recently had a judge tell me “Im sorry I can’t give you your old lifestyle back” and “I see there are some very expensive marital items here, how are we doing on the sale” ... meaning my personal items I’ve had to sell to pay bills. Apparently my once extremely successful former CEO husband is now working minimum wage because he’s down on his luck. 🙄
My attorney actually has a plaque on her desk that states "Just admit I am right will save you money." Sadly, I did not see that plaque until she cornered me into signing a harmful agreement.
I just finalized a settlement and now listening to this I can see some conflicts arising in the near future. Ex: for the summer there is no specific pick up time. The drop off is 1pm but no specific pick up. That I can see being an issue. We are expected to resolve these via email so 🙏 we can resolve these minor issues but major with a narc
I'm sorry but child custody judges and GALs are the most incompetent and unless legally representatives on the planet. They do more harm than good and they are responsible for more than half of child deaths, childhood trauma and instability. My husband was able to test positive twice on a drug screening during our case and still was award him physical custody. This was after our 4 year old was diagnosed with a facial injury under his girlfriends care after she ran into wall(so is was told) AFTER I picked her up for my scheduled 50/50 time. I fought my ex-husband in court for 6 1/2 years, they will bankrupt you.
Put your emotions in your pocket and put on your strategy hat. I like that image. People eventually show their patterns of “misunderstanding” the rules. Unfortunately, this is a long game. I’ve heard a parent say in court “the rules don’t apply to me.” The judge in that case actually agreed, then ordered the rules to apply in the future. He dismissed contempt of direct violation of court orders for mental health treatment for that parent. After some time, though, the court recognizes a pattern of “I misunderstood” or “it doesn’t apply to me.” The fruit will rot and fall, as long as you document it and draw subtle attention to it.
This is eerie… Court does nothing for these situations except worsen it. Court is church for a narc where they make the most salacious claims that are entertained
My ex husband purposely let our albino daughter (who was 3 at the time) get severe sunburn just because he was upset with me. My kids are now 8 & 10 but I still worry. My ex is very similar to Chris watts personality. When I heard watts story, I instantly got chills. What are some other signs that he may be dangerous? On fb he looks and acts like the perfect dad but in private it’s not like that.
why should anyone with NPD should have any unsupervised contact with kids? if you literally cant feel empathy and have the emotional maturity of a toddler.. you cannot care for a chid
NPD is not very well recognized in family courts. If you go in there saying your ex is a narcissist unless you have proof- like diagnosis from a professional then you end up looking like the crazy one.
Instead of putting a label on it, just explain what he does. What the behaviors are. The judge is trained to be fair. They aren’t stupid keep records of every incident and hopefully eventually the judge will see for themselves what you are up against.
@@JenessaAndKingston the labels keep getting more and more meaningless as psychiatrists have made ZERO progress in finding an actual model of mental health that relates to anything outside of psychiatrists opinions.
@@JenessaAndKingston and by the sounds of it psychiatrists are the worsrt scientists ever .. they dont even have a single biomarker for any of their diagnoses .. neuroscientists know more about psych disorders than psychiatrists
@@jantelopez5626 well npd is a personality disorder. So it’s not really something that can be treated with medication. Its not a chemical imbalance. Its hard for a doctor to see someone for 20 mins and be able to diagnose that. And ofcourse they are going off what the narc is telling them. Unless they spend alot of time with this person and see how they act - and not just once but a pattern. they can’t diagnose that. So to go into court and say it we would look stupid. Just say what he does, yelling screaming name calling, breaking things, gaslighting you. The judge will come to their own conclusion. When u say what he did those are facts the other stuff is your own opinion- leave it out stick to facts it will help. U don’t want to look like u are trying to bash the father.
Awesome video. Reaffirming some of the practices I’ve adopted in my struggles with courts and dealing with mom. Wish the video was easier to find as your tips are amazing.
How does co-parenting councilor work? I'm willing to co-parent. He is not. Will judge give us a councilor if I ask for one? Who pays $ for the councilor?
The narcissist father of my kids has successfully evaded child support for 5 years. He changes jobs frequently and then gets fired when the courts catch up. He has reduced support to half of what it used to be by only working part time (over the table). He is in contempt in name only, there has been no real consequence. The court also assigned a child to each of us as dependents on taxes despite his only having visitation and not paying child support. Fortunately I recently discovered the IRS considers whomever has primary custody as being able to claim all dependents. My ex has also alluded to my kids almost drowning in his presence, and has sent me pictures of them in precarious situations while with him. I feel all I can do is pray ❤🙏
wow I'm so sorry girl I wish you had a better judge cause that's FUCKED UP and your ex is a complete psycho. I hope and pray you and your children find peace because you deserve it thank you for sharing your stories, they help so much.
I have a lot of conflicts from the father. My case is the father was absent for the whole pregnancy until I filed the case. He wanted my to get abortion. He is suddenly showing a little help to the child and make it big deal to the court. He wants to be fully 100% of the child. How do you response to narcissistic father when they asking you a question about changing the child''s last name or middle name, after the parternity just confirmed? Also, how do you deal with narcissistic father when they trying to create a conflict every other day and keep back and forth of the arguments?
Ugh. This is too much like my story. I’ve joined your FB group... I am on the brink of trying to decide what’s best for my daughter, trying to remove her dad from her life all together, or just try to modify his visitation to as minimal as possible for her sake. I have sole custody, but I’m often wondering what solid proof I have to prove he is a sociopath to the courts.
If they almost died in his care near water, then a life vest is reasonable.. i mean shouldn’t all kids who don’t know how to swim well need a life vest, floaties, something.
You had me at "his or her advantage" A lot of narcissist experts focus on a single sex. Great work And then you lost me at lifevest in the pool. My ex is a severe blackout alcoholic. Who has parented my then 5 year old while literally being unconscious. I dont want to downplay anyone's situation but you scare me a bit. Judges are not there to make sure your children look both ways before crossing the street.
She mentioned that her ex-husband DIDN'T CARE that their kids almost drowned when with him, didn't take responsibility for what happened, and was the type of man who wouldn't be bothered by them dying on his watch. Doesn't that sound like a dangerous father?
This actually seems to be a situation, just from listening to the speaker and hearing the court situation, that the female is actually the Narcissist in this case.
How is being concerned about the safety of her kids narcissistic? Have you looked into what post-separation abuse is? Her ex-husband didn't care that their kids almost drowned and was the type of man who wouldn't be bothered by his kids dying.
sus.. anyone else feel like Tina here is the narc?? - emphasize being victim... under explain "almost drowned"... my truth,,, court didnt do what she said, claims unintelligent, dont care, etc.
Hearing "almost drowned" to me sounds like the kids told her they swallowed water and had no vests on. Didn't mention anyone needing cpr, police being called, a hospital trip or nothing. I believe that was the judge's reason for not honoring her request. I can't say it makes me think she is the nac, but it gave me lots of questions. Good assessment.
I believe her and recommend looking up post-separation abuse. Family law courts are infamous for not caring about the safety and welfare of kids. They label the parent who brings up concerns about the toxic behaviors of the other parent as the problem. Even if they bring medical reports from doctors who confirm that a kid is being abused, the protective parent is considered the bad one. Family court staff and consultants are not required to get training on post-separation abuse, other forms of abuse, and coercive control. They typically refuse to get that training, which leads to kids suffering. Barry Goldstein covers this topic and has resources.
So... the judge had the impression of you being high conflict and you are claiming to be the victim. As a casual watcher I have to be skeptical. Cheers. I'm out.
The judge would view her as high conflict due to the amount of emotion she has attached to the situation and the amount of emotion douchbags are able to pry from her. As she stated it all changes when you’re able to expose the douchbag. Douchbag = narcissist.
@ Lukas Akadian ... I wish u understood us victims but never wish this on u nor anyone. It's real and if u follow her story or been in it u would understand
Omg i almost cried listening to this. Its impossible to explain to a judge these people will do anything, including harm their own children, only to hurt us. No one that "hasn't been there" believes that and we know it deep inside to be the case..
I’m not the only one going through this… I’m emotional right now…
he tortured me for 18 yrs and the system allowed it
So sorry I'm going through it now
The NPD is great at going to court to enforce orders but won't follow the same order
@Gemma Dann if those are real fears collect evidence that would suggest those fears are legitimate
Incredible
Exactly 💯
@@JustActNormalSadly, documentation is not enough. I suggest looking at Barry Goldstein and his resources.
I feel your frustration! The drowning is my biggest fear in dealing with my ex. Fighting for custody now, an it makes no sense why him having them at all is an option unless it supervised . But even the GAL thinks he’s some great guy because he’s so manipulative an charismatic. He’s an alcoholic, domestic violence classes drug an alcohol classes multiple times an still trying to get full custody. Smh I want to scream at everyone in the court room like it’s a no brainer here !!! The system is completely fkddd
Hello, I am dealing this right now. My ex is now hitting my daughter and nobody will help. The GAL thinks he is just playing around with her. We go to court in 2 weeks but it's to prove he is still drinking even though the judge ordered nobody to drink around her..
Thank you for your insights and for the care you have taken to qualify your discussion to say "his or hers" since this type of disorder can exist in all genders!
Thank you Tina, just the reminder I need to hear......many blessing to you❤️💙🌹❤️💙
My narc hasn’t paid any support in two years and I recently had a judge tell me “Im sorry I can’t give you your old lifestyle back” and “I see there are some very expensive marital items here, how are we doing on the sale” ... meaning my personal items I’ve had to sell to pay bills. Apparently my once extremely successful former CEO husband is now working minimum wage because he’s down on his luck. 🙄
I am in a similar situation, I feel
For you
My attorney actually has a plaque on her desk that states "Just admit I am right will save you money." Sadly, I did not see that plaque until she cornered me into signing a harmful agreement.
I just finalized a settlement and now listening to this I can see some conflicts arising in the near future. Ex: for the summer there is no specific pick up time. The drop off is 1pm but no specific pick up. That I can see being an issue. We are expected to resolve these via email so 🙏 we can resolve these minor issues but major with a narc
Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I had a panic attack because of this today!!!!!
I'm sorry but child custody judges and GALs are the most incompetent and unless legally representatives on the planet. They do more harm than good and they are responsible for more than half of child deaths, childhood trauma and instability. My husband was able to test positive twice on a drug screening during our case and still was award him physical custody. This was after our 4 year old was diagnosed with a facial injury under his girlfriends care after she ran into wall(so is was told) AFTER I picked her up for my scheduled 50/50 time. I fought my ex-husband in court for 6 1/2 years, they will bankrupt you.
This! Preach!!! I understand where you are coming from.
Put your emotions in your pocket and put on your strategy hat. I like that image. People eventually show their patterns of “misunderstanding” the rules. Unfortunately, this is a long game. I’ve heard a parent say in court “the rules don’t apply to me.” The judge in that case actually agreed, then ordered the rules to apply in the future. He dismissed contempt of direct violation of court orders for mental health treatment for that parent.
After some time, though, the court recognizes a pattern of “I misunderstood” or “it doesn’t apply to me.” The fruit will rot and fall, as long as you document it and draw subtle attention to it.
This is eerie… Court does nothing for these situations except worsen it. Court is church for a narc where they make the most salacious claims that are entertained
My ex husband purposely let our albino daughter (who was 3 at the time) get severe sunburn just because he was upset with me. My kids are now 8 & 10 but I still worry. My ex is very similar to Chris watts personality. When I heard watts story, I instantly got chills. What are some other signs that he may be dangerous? On fb he looks and acts like the perfect dad but in private it’s not like that.
why should anyone with NPD should have any unsupervised contact with kids? if you literally cant feel empathy and have the emotional maturity of a toddler.. you cannot care for a chid
NPD is not very well recognized in family courts. If you go in there saying your ex is a narcissist unless you have proof- like diagnosis from a professional then you end up looking like the crazy one.
Instead of putting a label on it, just explain what he does. What the behaviors are. The judge is trained to be fair. They aren’t stupid keep records of every incident and hopefully eventually the judge will see for themselves what you are up against.
@@JenessaAndKingston the labels keep getting more and more meaningless as psychiatrists have made ZERO progress in finding an actual model of mental health that relates to anything outside of psychiatrists opinions.
@@JenessaAndKingston and by the sounds of it psychiatrists are the worsrt scientists ever .. they dont even have a single biomarker for any of their diagnoses .. neuroscientists know more about psych disorders than psychiatrists
@@jantelopez5626 well npd is a personality disorder. So it’s not really something that can be treated with medication. Its not a chemical imbalance. Its hard for a doctor to see someone for 20 mins and be able to diagnose that. And ofcourse they are going off what the narc is telling them. Unless they spend alot of time with this person and see how they act - and not just once but a pattern. they can’t diagnose that. So to go into court and say it we would look stupid. Just say what he does, yelling screaming name calling, breaking things, gaslighting you. The judge will come to their own conclusion. When u say what he did those are facts the other stuff is your own opinion- leave it out stick to facts it will help. U don’t want to look like u are trying to bash the father.
Omg i understand exactly how you feel. As a father it's very difficult to deal with a narcissist who's my daughter's mother.
Awesome video. Reaffirming some of the practices I’ve adopted in my struggles with courts and dealing with mom. Wish the video was easier to find as your tips are amazing.
How does co-parenting councilor work? I'm willing to co-parent. He is not. Will judge give us a councilor if I ask for one? Who pays $ for the councilor?
Really amazing wise and powerful
The narcissist father of my kids has successfully evaded child support for 5 years. He changes jobs frequently and then gets fired when the courts catch up. He has reduced support to half of what it used to be by only working part time (over the table). He is in contempt in name only, there has been no real consequence. The court also assigned a child to each of us as dependents on taxes despite his only having visitation and not paying child support. Fortunately I recently discovered the IRS considers whomever has primary custody as being able to claim all dependents.
My ex has also alluded to my kids almost drowning in his presence, and has sent me pictures of them in precarious situations while with him. I feel all I can do is pray ❤🙏
Your story admirable respect
wow I'm so sorry girl I wish you had a better judge cause that's FUCKED UP and your ex is a complete psycho. I hope and pray you and your children find peace because you deserve it thank you for sharing your stories, they help so much.
I have a lot of conflicts from the father. My case is the father was absent for the whole pregnancy until I filed the case. He wanted my to get abortion. He is suddenly showing a little help to the child and make it big deal to the court. He wants to be fully 100% of the child. How do you response to narcissistic father when they asking you a question about changing the child''s last name or middle name, after the parternity just confirmed? Also, how do you deal with narcissistic father when they trying to create a conflict every other day and keep back and forth of the arguments?
Name of that judge?
Ugh. This is too much like my story. I’ve joined your FB group... I am on the brink of trying to decide what’s best for my daughter, trying to remove her dad from her life all together, or just try to modify his visitation to as minimal as possible for her sake. I have sole custody, but I’m often wondering what solid proof I have to prove he is a sociopath to the courts.
They refuse to follow judges orders and reveal themselves but it can take awhile.
Psych eval?
On what grounds did you divorce this man?
Thank you
Do the children ever realize that the other parent is intentionally trying to hurt you? I have two teenage daughters.
I’m wondering the same thing. I’m astonished at what my kids dad does and says to them and it is unite bayside but they seem to not see the abuse.
They can, but probably not without several conversations about why so and so did this that hurt, etc..
the system is as hard to deal with as the narc is...
They have gruesome goggles
My narcissist ex got 50/50 and I am so scared
🔝🙏👌
Thats what I fear with my ex. Im so scared
If they almost died in his care near water, then a life vest is reasonable.. i mean shouldn’t all kids who don’t know how to swim well need a life vest, floaties, something.
Yes, but logic seems to escape anyone in the family court system
You had me at "his or her advantage"
A lot of narcissist experts focus on a single sex. Great work
And then you lost me at lifevest in the pool.
My ex is a severe blackout alcoholic. Who has parented my then 5 year old while literally being unconscious. I dont want to downplay anyone's situation but you scare me a bit. Judges are not there to make sure your children look both ways before crossing the street.
She mentioned that her ex-husband DIDN'T CARE that their kids almost drowned when with him, didn't take responsibility for what happened, and was the type of man who wouldn't be bothered by them dying on his watch. Doesn't that sound like a dangerous father?
This actually seems to be a situation, just from listening to the speaker and hearing the court situation, that the female is actually the Narcissist in this case.
I'm afraid to respond to you. Uuuuum
Yes, maybe the speaker is a bit off.
@@shornandkenny Why would you be afraid to reply to me?
It’s very hard to know which one is the narcissist based on he say or she say. So I get where you’re coming from.
How is being concerned about the safety of her kids narcissistic? Have you looked into what post-separation abuse is? Her ex-husband didn't care that their kids almost drowned and was the type of man who wouldn't be bothered by his kids dying.
sus.. anyone else feel like Tina here is the narc?? -
emphasize being victim... under explain "almost drowned"... my truth,,, court didnt do what she said, claims unintelligent, dont care, etc.
Hearing "almost drowned" to me sounds like the kids told her they swallowed water and had no vests on. Didn't mention anyone needing cpr, police being called, a hospital trip or nothing. I believe that was the judge's reason for not honoring her request. I can't say it makes me think she is the nac, but it gave me lots of questions. Good assessment.
🙋♂️
I believe her and recommend looking up post-separation abuse. Family law courts are infamous for not caring about the safety and welfare of kids.
They label the parent who brings up concerns about the toxic behaviors of the other parent as the problem. Even if they bring medical reports from doctors who confirm that a kid is being abused, the protective parent is considered the bad one.
Family court staff and consultants are not required to get training on post-separation abuse, other forms of abuse, and coercive control. They typically refuse to get that training, which leads to kids suffering.
Barry Goldstein covers this topic and has resources.
So... the judge had the impression of you being high conflict and you are claiming to be the victim. As a casual watcher I have to be skeptical. Cheers. I'm out.
4real
The judge would view her as high conflict due to the amount of emotion she has attached to the situation and the amount of emotion douchbags are able to pry from her. As she stated it all changes when you’re able to expose the douchbag. Douchbag = narcissist.
Let’s just consider his name and ignore him
@ Lukas Akadian ... I wish u understood us victims but never wish this on u nor anyone. It's real and if u follow her story or been in it u would understand
Same. Was expecting a very different testimony. This woman sounds similar to someone I know.