Got his hopes up

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  • @JoyZofSoRRoW
    @JoyZofSoRRoW Před měsícem +1210

    ...... Is Canada going Helldivers before us Americans?!?!?!
    ... Im suddenly both ashamed and offended...

    • @Gremlinke96
      @Gremlinke96 Před měsícem

      TBH the Helldivers aren't even american, the lore states the world was united by Swedes XD czcams.com/video/KUuAbvj4Z7w/video.html

    • @Galko655e
      @Galko655e Před měsícem +47

      I'm sure Canada meant a way to use "Spiders from Mars" to practice the Geneva checklist on Earth. He did say "Because the Geneva checklist only applies to things with two legs on this planet"

    • @ShawnF6FHellcat
      @ShawnF6FHellcat Před měsícem

      Instead of democracy, they're going to spread war crimes to the galaxy!

    • @Minalkra
      @Minalkra Před měsícem +19

      I'm not! Hell, I figured it'd be either them or the Aussies first and us Yanks would be second.

    • @thargs9184
      @thargs9184 Před měsícem

      just be thankful its not the australian going and taming them..

  • @TakoyaKyono
    @TakoyaKyono Před měsícem +1976

    Poor Canada thought that they had a way of circumventing the Geneva Suggestion....

    • @LucanVaris
      @LucanVaris Před měsícem +72

      I mean, the Geneva Convention doesn't apply to _Mars..._

    • @NAP_Official
      @NAP_Official Před měsícem +53

      you mean the Geneva Checklist right...?

    • @whirledpeaz5758
      @whirledpeaz5758 Před měsícem +36

      It's not a war crime the first time. TFE

    • @Maybe_Me_Maybe_Not
      @Maybe_Me_Maybe_Not Před měsícem +12

      Wait so you’re telling me that circumventing Canada’s job isn’t what they were founded for?

    • @mapletouqe
      @mapletouqe Před měsícem +7

      That's good for other nations, not good for us. We can't have our fun anymore...

  • @davidkueny2444
    @davidkueny2444 Před měsícem +344

    Canada doesn't think of it as a checklist. To them, it's a scorecard. If it was a checklist, they'd only commit each warcrime once. That's not their style. They think they get more points for repeating each war crime.

    • @janzwendelaar907
      @janzwendelaar907 Před měsícem +11

      It works like a GH combo meter and they're going for a FC

    • @RTJsims
      @RTJsims Před měsícem +5

      The planets spiciest game of bingo

    • @subduedpotato7216
      @subduedpotato7216 Před měsícem +6

      We are the reason why the Geneva checklist exists in the first place. Even if that isn't true, it warms my cold Canadian heart immensely to believe it. I would advise against harshing my mello, lest I create a new line on that checklist

    • @ObiJonKenobi0030
      @ObiJonKenobi0030 Před měsícem +3

      Finally, someone gets us. There's a lot of repressed feeling going on when all we are is sorry. We need some giant spiders or something to vent on.

    • @user-xf2qt5il7n
      @user-xf2qt5il7n Před měsícem +3

      @@RTJsims Difference is you yell "Geneva!" when you get a full row

  • @Crazyashley42
    @Crazyashley42 Před měsícem +188

    "DON'T TOUCH THE BOATS!"
    Japan's PTSD has been awakened.

    • @rain321q
      @rain321q Před měsícem +6

      BOOTS*

    • @xKontractKi11er
      @xKontractKi11er Před měsícem +3

      If you haven't watch the video on the Japenese raid on Pearl Harbor. You should, it's really interesting and as awful as it was towards us, the Japenese dropped the ball big time. If they had pulled their plan off perfectly, Nobody would of survived pearl harbor

    • @CallanElliott
      @CallanElliott Před měsícem +4

      It would only have been better if he'd started talking like an anime girl halfway through that sentence.

  • @hanselverta7171
    @hanselverta7171 Před měsícem +2260

    “I would like to have nuclear weapons” so calm

    • @roetemeteor
      @roetemeteor Před měsícem +50

      Well you sure as shit won't get them screaming.

    • @palpatinethesenatehog7086
      @palpatinethesenatehog7086 Před měsícem +62

      Poland asked calmly.

    • @peekaboopeekaboo1165
      @peekaboopeekaboo1165 Před měsícem

      ​@@palpatinethesenatehog7086
      Poland is compromised by the Yanks.
      🤦

    • @chrisb7198
      @chrisb7198 Před měsícem +22

      Them staying calm and asking politely is very scary.

    • @VonGoth
      @VonGoth Před měsícem +15

      And an F-22 Raptor... or 7?

  • @feathers457
    @feathers457 Před měsícem +2328

    “Would you touch me” 💀 laughed so hard I choked.

    • @kelseythomason1303
      @kelseythomason1303 Před měsícem +52

      Dude I died

    • @user-fi8uc9gb2t
      @user-fi8uc9gb2t Před měsícem +91

      Even Raptor looked shocked 😂

    • @bamacopeland4372
      @bamacopeland4372 Před měsícem +39

      I spat my beer out laughing

    • @Chokah
      @Chokah Před měsícem +51

      @@user-fi8uc9gb2t It's like hearing yourself on a recording. "Do I sound like that?!"

    • @deed5811
      @deed5811 Před měsícem +46

      F22 - "Is it that creepy when I do it?" 😂🤣

  • @ishootitarw
    @ishootitarw Před měsícem +60

    Poland as little Texas is funny. What's funnier is how fast Poland is to buying weapons systems the second they're available they buy. They've ordered stuff we haven't even built for ourselves yet.

    • @mareczek00713
      @mareczek00713 Před měsícem +7

      Yeah, I laughed like a madman when I realised that US had like 350 HIMARS when our president announced we plan to buy 500 xD

    • @jennifergarrett1449
      @jennifergarrett1449 Před 11 dny

      Russia and Belarus have been flexing their wimpy muscles along Polands borders since before Russia invaded Ukraine, so yeah, I dont blame them for beefing up

  • @georgedowson2987
    @georgedowson2987 Před měsícem +157

    In the classic civ-game Alpha Centauri, you can't use nukes on enemies without first repealing the UN charter on human rights. In the expansion, where two alien species also are present, you can do WHATEVER you like to the aliens (nukes, chemical and biological warfare) since the UN charter simply doesn't apply to non humans.
    If you want to do some Maple-flavoured roleplay.

    • @Mamorufumio
      @Mamorufumio Před měsícem +1

      that reminds me that game just re-released on steam

    • @LackofFaithify
      @LackofFaithify Před měsícem +1

      Who needs those when you have the worms

    • @meatpuppet5036
      @meatpuppet5036 Před měsícem

      Human Rights are for Humans only Xenos.

    • @meatpuppet5036
      @meatpuppet5036 Před měsícem

      Human Rights are for Humans only xenos.

    • @Ryvaken
      @Ryvaken Před měsícem

      @@Mamorufumio ...does it actually work better or should I stick with the cracked and fan patched to work better on a modern system stuff that I've got?

  • @smitty314
    @smitty314 Před měsícem +1283

    Canada has two modes. Annoyingly apologetic and walking war crime. There is no middle ground

    • @rangelo7281
      @rangelo7281 Před měsícem +68

      We learned that from the geese

    • @annoyingPoe15
      @annoyingPoe15 Před měsícem +21

      There is a middle ground it's worse then both

    • @crustybomb115
      @crustybomb115 Před měsícem +19

      there is a middle ground, its called mixing both. such is the propper canadian way, perfectly taught to every canadian in the form of a canadian goose...

    • @WE_DONT_LIE
      @WE_DONT_LIE Před měsícem +6

      The middle ground is civil unrest lol

    • @ShawnF6FHellcat
      @ShawnF6FHellcat Před měsícem +13

      We call the first mode "Hockey Season"

  • @noneedtoknow07
    @noneedtoknow07 Před měsícem +901

    The question with America boats is not "will you touch me" it's "Are you sure you want to do that?"

    • @badmaninc.536
      @badmaninc.536 Před měsícem +35

      Ah yes the ol’ Gygaxian question.
      Stops idiots in their tracks nearly every time.

    • @thedragonreborn9856
      @thedragonreborn9856 Před měsícem +15

      Tell me you’re a DM without telling me you’re a DM

    • @BenSuzuki
      @BenSuzuki Před měsícem +10

      ​@@thedragonreborn9856I thought the same. I step into the dark hallway... Are you sure you want to do that?

    • @F14thunderhawk
      @F14thunderhawk Před měsícem +16

      remember, the favorite response of the US Navy is Proportional response. and 100% is a proportion.

    • @michaelbenjmitchell1
      @michaelbenjmitchell1 Před měsícem +1

      @@BenSuzuki I would if I was heavily armed with a Pulse rifle and a Smart gun. Always be Prepared for anything.

  • @someguy8412
    @someguy8412 Před měsícem +14

    Just out of curiosity, do they have to stop Canada from yelling out bingo. when they are reading out the Geneva convention.😂

    • @davidgoodnow269
      @davidgoodnow269 Před měsícem +6

      That's maybe the funniest joke I have read in a while.

  • @playerguy2
    @playerguy2 Před měsícem +41

    1:03 "Hmm, that's a solid argument, [Poland]. Yes."
    "Nu!"
    "Maybe."

    • @janieawolf
      @janieawolf Před 5 dny

      I love how Russia was afraid of Poland getting nukes, but the threat of an F-22 he’s like “your punk vessel is no match for me”

  • @SteveInLava
    @SteveInLava Před měsícem +587

    Japan's PTSD every time America tells someone not to touch their boats

    • @michaelyoung7261
      @michaelyoung7261 Před měsícem +64

      It is an earned ptsd. I mean, we did drop two band new suns on the empire of the rising sun… oh look at all that anime …

    • @peekaboopeekaboo1165
      @peekaboopeekaboo1165 Před měsícem

      ​@@michaelyoung7261
      Misogyny and Pedophilia

    • @Taolan8472
      @Taolan8472 Před měsícem

      I mean, we dropped bombs so big, their dicks got smaller.
      Or at least thats what the South Park historical documentary says.

    • @kevincloud574
      @kevincloud574 Před měsícem

      ​@@michaelyoung7261anime is just mutated cartoons

    • @crustybomb115
      @crustybomb115 Před měsícem +36

      to be fair, theyre the only country on the planet that had to deal with having 2 sunrises in 1 day... twice...

  • @marimcgee8379
    @marimcgee8379 Před měsícem +995

    All these protests got America itching like crazy.

    • @nsatoday
      @nsatoday Před měsícem

      I’d say they are more like rally’s lead by professors that have been teaching the ideology of the bad guys for 20 years or so and are now nationally exposed

    • @pogo1140
      @pogo1140 Před měsícem +25

      Freedom is scary

    • @GigaHellblaze
      @GigaHellblaze Před měsícem +52

      I live in a college town and we don't take likely to squatters sitting on campus grounds and spread trash and feces all over the place. Gross. Damn these kids. Where's the fucking time machine Delorian car when I need it so I can go back to the 80s where gas was only $1 and McDonalds burgers were only $1!?

    • @satakrionkryptomortis
      @satakrionkryptomortis Před měsícem

      @@pogo1140 its more the lack of education, reason and ability to think for them self advanced by some apps to dumb the stupid even further.

    • @RaulGonzalez-to1xb
      @RaulGonzalez-to1xb Před měsícem

      Dumb kids

  • @kdavidsmith1
    @kdavidsmith1 Před měsícem +25

    Here in CA it isn't that we have noticed, it that we know if we ignore them long enough they'll go away.

    • @davidgoodnow269
      @davidgoodnow269 Před měsícem +3

      Yup . . . they graduate, and can't afford rent . . . . Gotta make room for next year's write-offs!

    • @faykeaute7545
      @faykeaute7545 Před měsícem +2

      As I am also named David I feel compelled to comment. In SD that's certainly the hope. If we give them attention they really will escalate. I've only seen trace elements in our corporate agendas throughout the county. Colleges, I can only imagine the CSU schools have become even more unsavory.

    • @JOHNPHILLIP8619
      @JOHNPHILLIP8619 Před měsícem

      People said that 20 yrs ago. They don't go away.

    • @PopEwLair
      @PopEwLair Před 21 dnem +2

      well i guess you could apply that logic to the homeless, y’all in California are ignoring them and so they’re going away

    • @dom-hx7ki
      @dom-hx7ki Před 14 dny

      ​@PopEwLair to be honest most homeless people I come across, have told me they deserved it because they fucked up in their life badly. I dunno if I am supposed to feel bad or just ignore it.

  • @jplabs456
    @jplabs456 Před měsícem +20

    It may only be four minutes but HLC videos continue to make me laugh harder and longer than most hour-long comedy specials

  • @Mr.Massenko
    @Mr.Massenko Před měsícem +464

    That "Dibs" killed me 😂😂😂

    • @ISAFMobius18
      @ISAFMobius18 Před měsícem +13

      The international dibs policy is unbreakable

    • @beng7844
      @beng7844 Před měsícem +3

      I was hoping the F-35 would fight HIMARS for dibs 😂

    • @kamounknown6857
      @kamounknown6857 Před měsícem +1

      Fkn A right it did 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @carsemonkey1
      @carsemonkey1 Před měsícem +1

      Apparently, Russia doesn't know about the intergalactic dibs rule

  • @St33lStrife
    @St33lStrife Před měsícem +811

    'I switch to winning side now'
    About time, Germany.

    • @donvielenio8956
      @donvielenio8956 Před měsícem +41

      It's easier to win, if you have to face only Russia and not Russia, the rest of Europe and the USA, basically all on your own. Being on the same side as the US might also help a bit in winning.

    • @h.a.9880
      @h.a.9880 Před měsícem +26

      Weeeell... admittedly, the two previous times, we had our hopes up we'd be on the winning side as well. Three time's the charm, eh?
      _Now if only that bald mofo in Berlin would deliver some Taurus..._

    • @drd675
      @drd675 Před měsícem +23

      I am glad Germany is on our side. Yes, their military capability has lacked in the last few decades, but it is still a large nation that could really kick in military industrialisation rapidly if needed.
      Think about it Germany, you could be in a World War and the Royal navy ISN'T blockading you this time. Unrestricted materials...mmmm

    • @peekaboopeekaboo1165
      @peekaboopeekaboo1165 Před měsícem +5

      ​@@drd675
      Germany got compromised by the Yanks.

    • @BattleshipOrion
      @BattleshipOrion Před měsícem +4

      TO be fair though, the first time was so fricked, the winning side was hard to tell 'til; we got involved.

  • @runpullfourskinz6796
    @runpullfourskinz6796 Před měsícem +14

    I always thought America was the one leading everyone in Starship Troopers. Turns out it's actually Canada.

  • @jacobevans2071
    @jacobevans2071 Před měsícem +9

    “Don’t touch the boats”
    The funniest running joke in this channel😂

    • @andrewmorris483
      @andrewmorris483 Před měsícem

      It's not just in this channel.

    • @Falcun21
      @Falcun21 Před měsícem

      Watch Fat Electrician, he breaks down the beginning of the "Don't touch America's boats" and every subsequent time that somebody has done so and the "proportional" response handed out to them that resulted in their complete and total regret for said actions. It's hilarious how he tells it, too.

    • @JesseJurun
      @JesseJurun Před 25 dny

      This dude is funny but it ain't a joke. Don't mess with the boats!

  • @EhZeeGee
    @EhZeeGee Před měsícem +309

    "I'm going to be honest with you Guys. Is it that creepy when I do it?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣That one got me.

    • @elduquecaradura1468
      @elduquecaradura1468 Před měsícem +13

      Be careful, the kid is becoming self aware xD

    • @knight838_
      @knight838_ Před měsícem +11

      i don't even think its all that creepy when the kid does it, there is just a ton of sexual suggestion in his tone that i need an extra layer of clothes to feel like i'm not being undressed with his radar

    • @wildstorm74
      @wildstorm74 Před měsícem +5

      "No, it's somehow creeper when you do it"
      The kid is getting smarter and stronger every day, soon. Uncle Sam would need a lot of stronger containers to stop our boy.😒

  • @shockwavegaming5907
    @shockwavegaming5907 Před měsícem +400

    With the way the subtitles work I thought the S500 was called "Dibs" lol

    • @recklesssquirel5962
      @recklesssquirel5962 Před měsícem +14

      It is now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @MinnesotaCouchpotato
      @MinnesotaCouchpotato Před měsícem +25

      Yeah. Subtitles are messed up. It took me a moment to figure out why it's so bad to mess with America's boots.

    • @delphy2478
      @delphy2478 Před měsícem +4

      it will be soon

    • @PSNPerfectNinja
      @PSNPerfectNinja Před měsícem +17

      Don't touch the boots ​@@MinnesotaCouchpotato

    • @joecool8315
      @joecool8315 Před měsícem +3

      Bro that destroyed me too 😂

  • @wolfie1979
    @wolfie1979 Před měsícem +11

    A Canada 🇨🇦/Startship Troopers cross over would be amazing. 🤩 😂

  • @user-po3ry3xh6y
    @user-po3ry3xh6y Před měsícem +21

    The South Park model: low production values, top-shelf writing, and quick turnaround so that every video is fresh. 1M subs or bust, HLC!!👍

  • @jaynecobb7964
    @jaynecobb7964 Před měsícem +670

    I make it a point to send these to my Canadian in laws and they love your stuff. Theyre especially fond of ,"When the soory stops, the war crimes start". Keep it up!!!

    • @Ben_Kimber
      @Ben_Kimber Před měsícem +41

      Sometimes it concerns me that some people (myself included) in Canada are oddly proud of our past brutality in war, but it’s also very amusing. I think the funniest part is that there’s such a clear duality of the behaviour of Canadians between peacetime and wartime. Like there’s no in-between. We’re either fully polite or we’re adding to the Geneva Conventions.

    • @corq
      @corq Před měsícem +21

      O Canada!
      With respect to Monty Python:
      "No one expects the Canadian Inquistion..."
      Being polite for all those years, the Canadian superego finally decides to go on holiday.

    • @anareel4562
      @anareel4562 Před měsícem +23

      ​@@Ben_KimberIt conerns the RCMP as well, they put out a paper a few weeks ago that said "Canadians could become a threat to national security if they realize they'll never be able to own a home" 😂😂

    • @paulleach3612
      @paulleach3612 Před měsícem +12

      @@Ben_Kimber It's either bacon and maple syrup alongside fresh coffee or their liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

    • @samzorn4656
      @samzorn4656 Před měsícem +15

      Canadians: the only people that can switch from Dudley Do-Right to Trevor Phillips in a nanosecond.

  • @dylbarrett6428
    @dylbarrett6428 Před měsícem +234

    "Slavic special ed" was hilarious

  • @hawkthorn33
    @hawkthorn33 Před měsícem +15

    The immediate and exited DIBS! got me. Well done.

  • @ManiacX1999
    @ManiacX1999 Před měsícem +6

    Telling people you have the option to leave when no one is willing to let anyone pass their borders doesn't mean much

  • @corq
    @corq Před měsícem +261

    Grandpa Buff, admiring Poland and taunting his homeboy. The entire West quivering with excited goosebumps for NATO Article 5...

    • @stenlohmus7766
      @stenlohmus7766 Před měsícem +12

      It's just the walls next to Russia that are just waiting for the excuse. -From a person who's in a country that's on the border & was occupied for decades.

    • @Pimps-R-us
      @Pimps-R-us Před měsícem +9

      I am so glad you guys think war is so great and want it to come, TRUST me, You do not ! This Coming from a war vet my friend.

    • @stenlohmus7766
      @stenlohmus7766 Před měsícem +12

      @@Pimps-R-us We don't want it, but if Russia does pull a big stupid, we'll do it. Poland is very much a exaggerated character in HLC's videos.
      IF THEY FUCK AROUND, THEY WILL FIND OUT.

    • @wolfsworkshop9095
      @wolfsworkshop9095 Před měsícem +1

      ​@@Pimps-R-us honestly? With the current situation around the world I mind it
      Like legit, most countries are basically fucked economically speaking and some would be prone to bankruptcy in a matter of a couple decades

    • @fallinegg
      @fallinegg Před měsícem +4

      @@Pimps-R-us i too am a veteran and i for sure want it....russia needs to find out and its been a long time since america has gone hard in the taint when it comes to conventional warfare.

  • @ZeForgottenSword
    @ZeForgottenSword Před měsícem +135

    "I would like to have nuclear weapons" *Poland said calmly.*

    • @eldorados_lost_searcher
      @eldorados_lost_searcher Před měsícem +3

      Yup, that's what I was thinking of.

    • @OddlyIncredible
      @OddlyIncredible Před měsícem +13

      And then provides salient reasoning as to why. Scary, _squared._

    • @shawnm1902
      @shawnm1902 Před měsícem +4

      This is one of those angry irrational guy gets calm and rational moments isn't it?

    • @OddlyIncredible
      @OddlyIncredible Před měsícem +2

      @@shawnm1902 Yep, complete with all that entails.

    • @mareczek00713
      @mareczek00713 Před měsícem +2

      Remember - when we scream or shout we're planning, when we speak calmly we already have a plan ;)

  • @WoTBlitzAddict
    @WoTBlitzAddict Před měsícem +12

    The pillows in "nice" German prisons sold it 😂

  • @dm_curt
    @dm_curt Před měsícem +6

    2:06 "I'll stop interrupting your speaking and go back to interrupting your shoddy equipment"

  • @tolson57
    @tolson57 Před měsícem +199

    Arleigh Burke just got an excellent catchphrase! I had Diet Dr. Pepper spray out my nose!

    • @irishbrewgaming2296
      @irishbrewgaming2296 Před měsícem +13

      i missed the dr part and thought you said you had pepper spray in your nose XD like that's mf metal right there

    • @satakrionkryptomortis
      @satakrionkryptomortis Před měsícem +2

      do not...i repeat...do not touch the boats. it triggers some weird fetishes in us gov heads.

    • @michaelbenjmitchell1
      @michaelbenjmitchell1 Před měsícem

      @@satakrionkryptomortis And *DO NOT TOUCH OUR BASES!* either.

  • @Z-vx6us
    @Z-vx6us Před měsícem +176

    "Come here little f22, I HAVE CHINESE!"

  • @maxalbon9557
    @maxalbon9557 Před měsícem +28

    Do you want good news? No problem! A few days ago, large deposits of Uranium were found in the southern part of Poland :D

    • @thetman0068
      @thetman0068 Před měsícem +1

      Uraaaanium feeeverrr…

    • @rickbaird3067
      @rickbaird3067 Před měsícem +4

      Was it illegal nuclear waste dumping sites from the USSR or actual uranium ore deposits

    • @maxalbon9557
      @maxalbon9557 Před měsícem

      @@rickbaird3067 deposits, We still don't know how big these deposits are, this is currently being checked

    • @davidgoodnow269
      @davidgoodnow269 Před měsícem

      Unsurprising. Uranium is a whole lot more common than most people think.
      Anywhere that radon gas is a problem for home construction has a major deposit right up near the surface.

    • @Jizzzmani
      @Jizzzmani Před měsícem

      No wonder, many of first Russian nukes got uranium mined from Poland
      And many many AK soldiers were sent there while waiting for “capital punishment”

  • @MrHyperion2011
    @MrHyperion2011 Před měsícem +4

    Canada is like 50 years late to the party.
    Ziggy Stardust already told us about the spiders.

  • @NascarF1_driver
    @NascarF1_driver Před měsícem +179

    “Would you touch me? I’d touch me” NAH THATS WORST THAN THE KID’S LINE LMAO🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @Mamorufumio
      @Mamorufumio Před měsícem +9

      i swear burke hasn't calmed down since micheal bay made that TV show focused around one of his class

    • @Spiritofeowyn
      @Spiritofeowyn Před měsícem +8

      Such a navy line.

    • @OddlyIncredible
      @OddlyIncredible Před měsícem +9

      Best part is how the boat had a squinty eye - it was channeling its inner Popeye.

  • @taemien9219
    @taemien9219 Před měsícem +45

    Poland: "Can I have nuclear weapons here?"
    US: "...maybe."
    Poland: "Can we have the F2-"
    US: "No!"

    • @tisanaluk
      @tisanaluk Před měsícem

      You know you are the Danger. When your country is willing to handing out the nuke before handing out you.

  • @WinVisten
    @WinVisten Před měsícem +4

    3:31 I *LOVE* how everyone is just completely speechless for a few seconds.

  • @LockheedMartinF22Raptor7
    @LockheedMartinF22Raptor7 Před měsícem +2

    He's right, the Houthis can't touch him.

  • @bryonslatten3147
    @bryonslatten3147 Před měsícem +99

    "The Geneva Checklist". Oh, Canada.

  • @massgunner4152
    @massgunner4152 Před měsícem +42

    Russian prisoners: "why don't you just kill me?"
    German jail: "am a villain, not a monster"

    • @TheOneWhoMightBe
      @TheOneWhoMightBe Před měsícem +6

      ...anymore.

    • @christianpalmer
      @christianpalmer Před měsícem

      ​@@TheOneWhoMightBethe us took that role unfortunately

    • @Aqueox
      @Aqueox Před měsícem

      @@TheOneWhoMightBe Anymore? Never was. You will dedicate more time to White Christian history studies.

    • @Jinxx_Gamin
      @Jinxx_Gamin Před 25 dny

      ​​@@AqueoxUm do you not know about the Holocaust or the SS

  • @shinnidan
    @shinnidan Před měsícem +2

    When AB ....wanted to be touched...😂 omg cracked me up!!!😂

  • @cutedogsgettingcuddles9862
    @cutedogsgettingcuddles9862 Před měsícem +34

    22 still wants to help Poland find its missing puppy.

    • @Gotenhanku
      @Gotenhanku Před měsícem +1

      He also remembers that they have CHINESE and he wants some.

  • @MV_Koron
    @MV_Koron Před měsícem +82

    "It's somehow way creepier when you do it" 😂

  • @frankbebey3933
    @frankbebey3933 Před měsícem +3

    "So... don't touch my boots..."
    Japan (looks like they're gonna poo themselves):
    "DONT. TOUCH. THE. BOOOTS!!!"
    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @sovelissskirata8105
    @sovelissskirata8105 Před měsícem +16

    I wish the protests were better covered. Theres multiple groups doing the protesting and they don't all agree (or get along) with each other. But to deadpan them all as the same and the worst case scenario is nuts. Theres also a worry of outside actors setting things up to make it all worse.

    • @BrokensoulRider
      @BrokensoulRider Před měsícem +2

      I refer you to 2020's Summer of Love where multiple cities across the country were fucking ruined by protest.

    • @sovelissskirata8105
      @sovelissskirata8105 Před měsícem +4

      @@BrokensoulRider you somewhat proving my point.
      Ruined how exactly? Even the vandalism and rioting in Portland was the same 3 blocks each night, it wasn't wide spread.
      The BLM protests also had a ton of cases of outside actors committing crimes and inciting the riots.
      Majority of the protests Remained protests. I'd be willing to bet the number would be even higher if the outside agitators and any police escalation (the kettled crowds and got in trouble over time) didn't happen

    • @BrokensoulRider
      @BrokensoulRider Před měsícem +2

      @@sovelissskirata8105 Do you know how much money cities had to put out to repair what was destroyed? It wasn't just small areas. Minneapolis, Kenosha, parts of Kentucky, even here in my state of Illinois, along with Berkely, Seattle, etc.

    • @exilestudios9546
      @exilestudios9546 Před měsícem

      ​@@BrokensoulRidergood and now they now the financial cost of supporting the police. Protests only work if the government fear the costs of not supporting the protesters cause be they social, political, or economic. That's why I think that all these hippy dippy peaceful college kids are morons. What is the point of protesting the actions of your government while still obeying said governments rules? If you do that then where is the incentive for actual change if the government knows that they can do whatever they want and face zero real consequences

    • @fulcrum2951
      @fulcrum2951 Před měsícem

      So basically you want to remove the 1st amendment?​@BrokensoulRider

  • @jacobgomos2418
    @jacobgomos2418 Před měsícem +67

    It was definitely a hilarious moment. United States comments on hostilities in Europe dying down a bit, Poland talks about wanting nuclear weapons and then panic ensues until the reasoning begins.
    And it was indescribably funny how raptor found out how creepy he was being when someone else was doing the same thing. Like he looked in a mirror but saw someone else’s face.

    • @jackclark1994
      @jackclark1994 Před měsícem +10

      it's like hearing yourself in a recording for the first time 😂😂

  • @BoiStudio
    @BoiStudio Před měsícem +352

    “America can you stop winning?”
    “Yesn’t”

    • @ISAFMobius18
      @ISAFMobius18 Před měsícem +19

      Only if other countries stop losing

    • @firedragn1188
      @firedragn1188 Před měsícem +8

      I mean as far as I'm aware us Canadians gave them some advice on how to keep winning after their civil war

    • @peekaboopeekaboo1165
      @peekaboopeekaboo1165 Před měsícem +2

      ​@@ISAFMobius18
      Hegemon 🇺🇲
      🤦

    • @jejeakle
      @jejeakle Před měsícem +2

      America: can you stop breaking my stuff and hurting my people

    • @BoiStudio
      @BoiStudio Před měsícem +2

      @@jejeakle don’t touch the boats.

  • @OtownGunner
    @OtownGunner Před měsícem +2

    "Little European Texas." I'm dead lmao

  • @lithiumike
    @lithiumike Před měsícem +1

    I hurt myself in my laughter. The boot would touch itself. 😂

  • @martymartin5302
    @martymartin5302 Před měsícem +81

    “…title of your sex tape”
    I love the Brooklyn 99 reference. At least that is what I hope you were going for.

    • @habitual_linecrosser
      @habitual_linecrosser  Před měsícem +22

      Yup

    • @peekaboopeekaboo1165
      @peekaboopeekaboo1165 Před měsícem +5

      ​@@habitual_linecrosser
      Netanyahu and company loves you HLC ...
      💀☠️👹👺🖤

    • @eliannafreely5725
      @eliannafreely5725 Před měsícem

      @@habitual_linecrosser This joke made me spit coffee and laugh uncontrollably in a Dunkin Donuts, and now everyone is staring, so, thanks!

    • @martindinner3621
      @martindinner3621 Před měsícem +1

      ​@@eliannafreely5725At least it wasn't a Tim Hortons!

    • @VTX00128
      @VTX00128 Před měsícem

      I see it as a reference to a sex tape that Vladimir has on Trump.

  • @internetzenmaster8952
    @internetzenmaster8952 Před měsícem +55

    "I would like to have nuclear weapons" - The calm delivery on that line made me burst out laughing.
    Well played HLC, well played. (So glad I put my drink down when watching this!)

    • @clarkstone439
      @clarkstone439 Před měsícem

      i need to follow that advice for these videos. the amount of times ive spat my lunch, my juice, my protien shake.. all over my poor phone is kinda embarressing.
      this guy does good work, though, doesnt he?

    • @KnawedOne
      @KnawedOne Před 19 dny

      👍🏽

  • @madman026
    @madman026 Před měsícem +5

    HIMARS was like DIBS

  • @korbell1089
    @korbell1089 Před měsícem +2

    "DIBS!"
    🤣🤣🤣
    And Canada preparing to go to Mars for a little managed Democracy!

  • @sbritton1313
    @sbritton1313 Před měsícem +21

    First off 22 becoming self aware of his tag phrase, and second... CANADA!

  • @mr.bojangles6111
    @mr.bojangles6111 Před měsícem +37

    It says something that we're more willing to give Poland nukes than we are the F-22. It's "Sure, we'll consider giving you a weaponized sun" vs. "Give you The Kid? No, we value civilization too much to unleash him."
    Look, I never said it was a *good* something...

    • @c0d3warrior
      @c0d3warrior Před měsícem

      Well the nukes still have to be enabled in DC, otherwise they're just dirty bombs with next to no yield. The F-22 on the other hand can be used without explicit permission.

    • @Intrepidice
      @Intrepidice Před měsícem +2

      The exploding sun in a can only be dropped once per bucket. The kid can always return to base for a reload and refuel.
      Until it is declassified that it is not only built around spite, but its fuel is self-generating spite, I am going to continue living in a world where it can in theory run out of gas.

    • @davidgoodnow269
      @davidgoodnow269 Před měsícem

      I _suspect_ 22 is still so far ahead of everything else in the world, that *nobody* gets even a ride-along!
      I was _pissed_ that _it_ is what was sent to intercept a _state-of-the-art spy balloon platform_ loaded with every kind of high-resolution sensor _possible_ to build! Did you see that thing? 100+ square meters of framework . . . that's a lot of gear!

  • @DarkAngelGuyver
    @DarkAngelGuyver Před měsícem +2

    In the words of Letterkenny:
    "A dibs, is a dibs, is a dibs, bud!"

  • @apdj94
    @apdj94 Před měsícem +4

    2:40 I’m fucking dead 💀

  • @tonyb7571
    @tonyb7571 Před měsícem +96

    Got the would you touch me joke out the next day?!?!?! Bravo good sir lmao

    • @dr.floridamanphd
      @dr.floridamanphd Před měsícem +3

      That’s a Silence of the Lambs reference.

    • @tonyb7571
      @tonyb7571 Před měsícem +7

      ​@@dr.floridamanphd it was brought up in last nights stream and a play off the Kid

    • @dr.floridamanphd
      @dr.floridamanphd Před měsícem

      @@tonyb7571 which was made famous in the 1991 movie Silence of the Lambs. People have been riffing on that line for 33 years this year.

  • @matankribus5080
    @matankribus5080 Před měsícem +22

    "propaganda and lies are the name of your sex tape"
    dude I died xD LMAO

  • @voidwalker3919
    @voidwalker3919 Před měsícem +2

    "Giant Spiders on Mars" THAT STOPPED MY FUCKIN HEART RIGHT THERE.

    • @Falcun21
      @Falcun21 Před měsícem

      Russian Badger has prepared us for this with his Earth Defense Force video.

  • @annabackman3028
    @annabackman3028 Před měsícem

    I'm looking forward to these moments, so entertaining!!
    THANK YOU for all the time and effort you put into these cartoons, or what to call them, videos.
    I love them! And today it was 10 points plus!!!😂❤

  • @Jackarott
    @Jackarott Před měsícem +62

    I gagged when I heard S500 then laughed my ass off when I just see DIBS!!

  • @MagmortaPlaysGames
    @MagmortaPlaysGames Před měsícem +108

    "Would you touch me, I'd touch me"... just LOL

    • @Veector94
      @Veector94 Před měsícem +5

      I lost my shit on that part XD

    • @HanSolo__
      @HanSolo__ Před měsícem +9

      No its somechow creepier than that.

  • @Toxik_Tobi
    @Toxik_Tobi Před měsícem

    This is one of the best episodes so far. I can't stop laughing 😂
    Amazing work there!

  • @MrExdous69
    @MrExdous69 Před měsícem

    I have just discovered your channel and I can’t stop. *LOVE YOUR STUFF!!!! Keep it up!*

  • @cybermiester
    @cybermiester Před měsícem +77

    Canadian here. I'm wondering why people miss the entire point of why Canada's a frothing homicidal maniac in war... People fuck with our friends, they find out! Don't mess with America's boats, don't mess with Canada's friends. Same thing! Ain't friendship nice?

    • @a.q.seawolf4999
      @a.q.seawolf4999 Před měsícem +11

      As an American, I, too, value friendship. Specifically, your country's and mine.

    • @grefire1947
      @grefire1947 Před měsícem +4

      Maybe cause the CAF is in such a state of disrepair due to multiple internal issues and also external such as progressively getting defunded (Our North, Strong and Free funding document is a joke since there are only promises of funding but no commitment) that its capabilities for waging any type of war is slightly below average. It constantly needs support from allies to get anywhere, has to burrow necessary fighting equipment like tanks and transport helicopters from allies, some of which was ours to begin with but had to sell early on due to defunding. And also public support for the CAF is minuscule, a lot of people are apathetic to its situation and a portion of people only care about its concerns for the wrong reasons like diversity, workplace ethics and such. People in Canada ride high off the CAF's history of being a good military that punches above its weight and its peacekeeping operations (which are almost minuscule today) and they just dont bother learning what it is right now, public support for funding is rising but its no where near enough to get that funding fast enough. Just had to rant

    • @cybermiester
      @cybermiester Před měsícem

      @@grefire1947 pretty much nothing pisses me off more in Canadian politics than how all of the parties use military spending to score points off each other. One party gains power, they instantly cancel every procurement deal the last government made, saying some bs or other... Just because they can't allow any other party to win anything! This is why we're flying Seaking choppers with more hours than the manufacturer even believed they could survive! Think a Ford truck with two million miles, I believe that's a fair comparison. Grr grrr!

    • @Kattorea
      @Kattorea Před měsícem

      Yes more of this guy * points to cyber*
      I'm also canadian 😂

    • @Blackhawkveteranretired
      @Blackhawkveteranretired Před měsícem +2

      Having trained alongside the Canadian,Australian and British armed forces during more than two decades of service I have to say America is in good and slightly scary allied hands.

  • @SpeedyManCharles
    @SpeedyManCharles Před měsícem +50

    canada was just about ready to start spreading managed democracy on mars LOL

    • @dra6o0n
      @dra6o0n Před měsícem +2

      Because what's left of Canada might be bad for everyone, after what the PMO did to it. And they are passing new rules to give themselves more powers to themselves and the CRA and such.

  • @VarangianGuard13
    @VarangianGuard13 Před měsícem +3

    Oh, Canada.. Keep going, please. We adore you down here.
    Sincerely, Colorado.

  • @RandomTrinidadian
    @RandomTrinidadian Před měsícem +2

    S500: "Exists"
    HIMARS : Dibs 😂

  • @Hoshimaru57
    @Hoshimaru57 Před měsícem +119

    Yeah one of my coworkers was saying something about protesters wanting Jews to wear armbands, and I go “Seriously, has NO BODY looked at a history book recently? This sounds way too similar to something that happened once before. I just can’t seem to put my finger on it.😉”

    • @spartan078ben
      @spartan078ben Před měsícem +9

      Yeah we seen that movie didn't go great for that side...

    • @Hoshimaru57
      @Hoshimaru57 Před měsícem +11

      @@spartan078benand that’s US this time. And as far as I can tell not even the ones everyone was expecting it to be.

    • @TheRibottoStudios
      @TheRibottoStudios Před měsícem +20

      ​@@Hoshimaru57oh please after the orange man's run are you surprised people are getting REAL bold with their hatred and bigotry?
      Now these students have the right to protest. Of course they do. But that's a bit much to say. The Jewish people even want Nethanyahu out ffs.

    • @TainyaGaming
      @TainyaGaming Před měsícem

      ​@@TheRibottoStudios Ignoring the fact that these are paid protesters

    • @jinulife8190
      @jinulife8190 Před měsícem +3

      @@TheRibottoStudios Got a friend who'd prefer someone that actually has military skill over just power. Israel is in the right but their government needs new elections.

  • @jobanh7ify
    @jobanh7ify Před měsícem +129

    “I’m raising a generation of idiots” 😂hard to argue with that logic too😂

    • @LucanVaris
      @LucanVaris Před měsícem +44

      Kinda hard _not_ to raise a generation of idiots, when our education system has been underfunded and needing an overhaul for decades.

    • @HANKSANDY69420
      @HANKSANDY69420 Před měsícem +1

      ​@@LucanVaris *Well the DOE is unconstitutional to begin with.*

    • @joeycampbell940
      @joeycampbell940 Před měsícem +5

      I think it's funny he doesn't realize he has the same mentality.

    • @madman026
      @madman026 Před měsícem

      @@LucanVaris lol unfunded my ass they get 191 billion a year we spend 8x more than any other country yet produce shit why ?>

    • @erikwilliam1254
      @erikwilliam1254 Před měsícem +16

      ​@@LucanVaris Well the board of education who decides what's taught in schools and the people they hire at said schools, play a larger role than just the budget.

  • @aidenp6001
    @aidenp6001 Před měsícem +2

    If this active member of the US aid force is saying that “the world is getting closer and closer to something happened twice before”, should we be concerned? And if so, by how much?

  • @metalnmunchies9070
    @metalnmunchies9070 Před měsícem

    I swear these videos keep getting funnier and funnier with each new video that you put out.

  • @anoobnoduhgaming9416
    @anoobnoduhgaming9416 Před měsícem +31

    The speed bump has spicy teeth now

    • @Chokah
      @Chokah Před měsícem +10

      The speed bump is turning into a flaming spike strip.

    • @theleva7
      @theleva7 Před měsícem +5

      Blowing glue, ahem, glowing blue under water

    • @OddlyIncredible
      @OddlyIncredible Před měsícem +2

      That's just the Cherenkov radiation...

  • @H3xx1st
    @H3xx1st Před měsícem +18

    I love the "Would you intercept me" bit, and you just 1Up'd yourself. I'm dying here. Totally right, it's still somehow creepier when the "kid" says it. Haha!

  • @OldBuggaboo
    @OldBuggaboo Před měsícem +6

    Eh, it's not that California hasn't noticed the protests. It's that we don't care. Mostly. Some of our college campuses aren't doing graduation tho. So that sucks. That was the same generation that didn't get to do the hs graduation ceremony

  • @kellibaker8532
    @kellibaker8532 Před 25 dny

    Thanks! I watch these before I go to bed so I’ll be in great mood. I’m always laughing 😊

  • @pisarz_milosci9153
    @pisarz_milosci9153 Před měsícem +18

    HLC this was the best episode recently. I couldn't hold it XD Lots of love from Little European Texas!

  • @outcastmoth78kaminski4
    @outcastmoth78kaminski4 Před měsícem +10

    3:20
    Mass activation of Japanese PTSD...

  • @autophile525i
    @autophile525i Před měsícem +2

    The Geneva Checklist only applies to things with 2 legs on THIS planet … got my hopes up for nothing!

  • @jidk6565
    @jidk6565 Před měsícem +7

    Hey
    Love the vids
    But whats the issue with me and other college students protesting? We're using our rights as designed
    We dont like the money we pay for education being sent to israel
    Is that bad?

    • @DaGo314
      @DaGo314 Před měsícem

      The protest are organized by communist activist that go all over the world to destabilize nations. I mean we have our elections coming and none of the college kids thought it was fucking weird they started all at once nationwide ?

  • @janzwendelaar907
    @janzwendelaar907 Před měsícem +13

    Poland about to translate France's nuclear doctrine

    • @OddlyIncredible
      @OddlyIncredible Před měsícem +1

      "Always be the first and the fastest to 'do unto others'."

  • @billyjones4978
    @billyjones4978 Před měsícem +20

    When the boat says I touch myself. Reminds of the divinlys song "I touch myself"! 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @TheMschipp
      @TheMschipp Před měsícem

      Aussie song, not sure many will get the ref - but yep you right mate.

    • @foxicecube
      @foxicecube Před 28 dny +2

      adam sandlers at a medium pace

  • @zStormsHD
    @zStormsHD Před měsícem +2

    I died at that “WOULD YOU TOUCH ME”🤣

  • @teamja1088
    @teamja1088 Před měsícem +1

    I have watched around 100 of these vids and this one may be the funniest!

  • @patrickm.4469
    @patrickm.4469 Před měsícem +1

    Your longer format talking faces as countries videos are always top notch!

  • @tooth8551
    @tooth8551 Před měsícem +8

    These are the BEST videos in educated comedy section!

  • @PaulGAckerman
    @PaulGAckerman Před měsícem +8

    "Would you touch me?" is creepier. CTE Popeye's got nothing on the kid. And the worst part about spiders on Mars is that David Bowie did live long enough to see it. Someone way smarter than me needs to rewatch The Prestige and figure out a way to make that device a reality so we can bring Bowie back.

  • @JasonMTuftsify
    @JasonMTuftsify Před měsícem

    Thank you for another amazing video, needed a good laugh and you delivered like no other!

  • @mowgli2071
    @mowgli2071 Před měsícem +1

    Dude is absolutely obsessed with Buffalo Bill. At some point he's going to make every character he creates say the line

  • @skyephoenix801
    @skyephoenix801 Před měsícem +14

    We're itching...We Canadians had to spend so much time playing nice and saying sorry all the time that giant, Martian spiders would make a great release.

  • @johnlee3899
    @johnlee3899 Před měsícem +11

    This is genuinly the best episode of your show i think you've ever made. You had me in stitches, near crying from start to finish.
    Thank you o7

    • @TheOneWhoMightBe
      @TheOneWhoMightBe Před měsícem +1

      I agree. i was chortling pretty much the whole way through it.
      DIBS!

  • @caiushughlanus2070
    @caiushughlanus2070 Před měsícem +1

    No no it's way creepier when you do it.... I'm freaking done lol that was hilarious

  • @gregoryretzlaff17
    @gregoryretzlaff17 Před měsícem

    These are awesome, laugh at the F22 all the time. Thanks for the laughs. - Greg, from Michigan.

  • @jloiben12
    @jloiben12 Před měsícem +24

    China: Attacks Pearl Harbor as part of a first strike in their invasion of Taiwan.
    Taiwan: Thanks all the gods.
    Japan: Oh no. Aren’t they supposed to be the smart ones?
    Russia: All my forces, get away from China. And for good measure, give America a 500 mile buffer as well.
    America: Time to turn the saying into the Lands of the Rising Suns

  • @IlIWarGIlI
    @IlIWarGIlI Před měsícem +8

    i think the japanese are forgiving the accent in these lines... god i still remember the statement "rising SUNS"

  • @string_fellow_hawk
    @string_fellow_hawk Před měsícem +1

    Dibs 😂😂😂😂
    So fast even the F35 got whiplash . 😂😂😂

  • @Practitioner_of_Diogenes
    @Practitioner_of_Diogenes Před měsícem +1

    I paused basically a frame or two after US said "be mindful of my boots".
    That thousand mile stare...