Surviving Post Separation Abuse from a Narcissist: Narcissistic Abuse Awareness and Recovery
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- čas přidán 14. 07. 2024
- In today's video Jill talks about post separation abuse by a narcissist and/or sociopath, what causes it, how it manifests and ways to survive it. From the smear campaign, to stalking, false allegations, blackmail, parental alienation and legal abuse, it’s all covered in this video. post separation abuse is very dangerous and isn't talked about enough, so if you have ever had a relationship with a narcissist or a sociopath, then you need to watch this video.
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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Post separation abuse is a real thing. And please know, a narcissist NEVER forgives and NEVER forgets! They will wait for 25 years until an opportunity presents itself to hurt you, or take vengeance. Speaking from experience.... 25 years later, my ex is remarried & has adult children with his current wife (who is also a narc). He is STILL working on turning my adult children against me! Narcissists are pure evil! Be VERY careful who you have children with!!
They do believe in all their disillusioned hearts. That they own you even after the end.
I spent a lot of time in shock at how low he would go, how sick and manipulative but the most horrifying was parental alienation. Then comes the years of using the courts to destroy me. The blameshifting was insane.
There is no bottom for the bottom feeders, so it seems.
Good advice. The law needs to be more harsh on terrible treatment like this,defamation of character.
I was not married but in a relationship. I had moved to Spain as he purchased our retirement home. He promised financially security in retirement. The he confessed to cheating, by that time I was trapped and mostly dependent on him. I had no idea about narcissistic behaviours. I didn’t think the relationship was abusive. Then he terminated the relationship ‘discarded’ me. But also told me that we could still remain friends if I wanted to remain friends. He had found an ex girlfriend from 38 years in his past and within 6 weeks he was engaged.
I was 59 years he was 65 years.
My post separation experience has been very traumatic.
Despite his letter and verbal recording of the abusive verbal abuse and his narcistic rage whic was meant to be a discussion of a settle post separation.
Two weeks after he moved into the home of the new woman his threats of throwing me out on the streets became legal as he was now going to evict me using the Civil Courts.
Now after publishing my first book he has 3 overlapping litigations against me in the Spanish Courts.
I had to deal with my ex for 7 years. He constantly made fun of me and even stole my dog. I couldn't do anything 13 years after our divorce was final he hit me in the face with a ball in front of my son. It was the last time I voluntarily spoke other him. I have now currently all ties with him. I have gone no contact. I've had yo tell my children about the abuse including sexually assaulting me. My oldest so told him. My mother wants no interactions with you. They are both adults now and I told them to be careful what they tell their father.
I had all of this! I was so low and very little self acceptance and I acted like he was right?!! 😩
He did this to our children and it has caused a lot of hurt and pain! I am now trying to get away. I am a mess it’s been 54 years of Narcissist from parents to husbands. Thank you for this help and advice!
I have lived through and survived just about everything you talk about on your channel but unfortunately for me I didn't know what I dealing with at the time. I've been slowly trying to put myself back together now for quite some time. Thank you for all of the amazing content you have put together on your channel It's very important to be aware of these types of manipulation tactics pay attention people this information just may save your life!
I'm still being bullied by him, he's dragging me through family court he's still telling lies but I have evidence coming out of my ears. I wish my lawyer would understand me when I bring this up, she just looks at me like I'm stupid. He's been at this for 16 months. He's done everything you've said, but he just recently tripped himself up.
Not all lawyers know about narcissistic abuse. If you can afford it find one that does and hire them. Courts don’t usually get it.
Dump your lawyer and get one who will fight for you.
I know how you feel hon. I've been going through the courts for the past year with an abusive ex who regards himself as a 'good Christian'. He abused our infant son and myself. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with such horrific emotional and psychological trauma 😢 It's soul crushing. Please stay strong and keep fighting 💪 Eventually your child/children will work out who their father really is. With love from Australia 🇦🇺
@@Kate-ze3se I'll fight him all the way and show him up. Same goes for you and everyone else dealing with these monsters. Eventually the real version of themselves will be exposed and they'll hopefully fade away 🤞keep fighting. Nobody should be going through this, mine court case is nearly over now, I hope you win yours ❤️
@@crankypantsmcduff Good on you hon 💪 Exactly 👍 That is a semi relief for you then, but unfortunately the abuse doesn't end after the court hearings finalise 😔 Due to the extent of relationship history/abuse with my ex and the false accusations that need to be examined, my lawyer has advised that my proceedings will go on for approx another 2 years. I'm going through sheer hell because my ex and his family are lying hypocrite Born Again Christians who controlled and manipulated the crap out of me. I'm an ex Jehovah's Witness who has no family or friends to lean on because of their disgusting practice of shunning (ex communicate) those who leave. I'll always fight to keep my son safe from abusive predators 🙏 I wish you and your precious children much peace through all of life's twists and turns ☮️ Take care lovely 💝
Going through most of this with a psycho sociopathic soon to be ex wife. She is pissed I moved on after 11 months.
Sep abuse and relationship ptsd is tough to recover from. It takes time and self love.
I wonder if this why he would bully me and treat me so horribly after ending it. I tried being friends with him afterwards but it obviously a friendship couldn't happen either. I realize how sick he really is and it's scary.
Thank you! My ex husband walked into MY HOME yesterday when he showed up unannounced and my kids let him in! I found out that earlier tgat day, when he had told me he'd be dropping off my son's car to switch out tires, he came into my home abd walked through it to see my other teen son when I was not home! I am livid!!! I cannot react yet, as my children were present, so i had to gray rock because my children are involved and some of my things are still at the house, which I let him keep so I could move on.
Omg he was there gathering information. Im sorry you have ties left for his manipulations.
Even if those ties are blessings. Those ties are dangerous.
Dang! I would be SO pissed!!
Gosh Jill, everything you've been through is just heartbreaking.
I'm so sorry you and your son endure these repulsive acts of violence.
Everything you've explained is something I'm all too familiar w dealiin w a Psychopathic ex Bio family AND my ex psychopathic Malignant narc n his family.
I've employed 3 letter agencies and PIs to enforce my safety.
When we document everything, we can see their patterns too.
So I know every 3-4 months one of these ex's will reappear w some kinda swindle bait they're attempting.
You are an inspiration Jill.
Ur videos kept me sane through so much of my recovery, and I'm thankful for you and your education. Your strength n your composure of Moral Ethics.
Thanks again gurl.
❤️🙏❤️🙏. Thank you for your kind words. Stay strong.
My kids took over for my ex. It was/is terrible. Causing damage to my home, unbelievable disrespect. I don’t wish PAS on anyone.
I've experienced their stalking and threats for so long, I believe years and years! You hit every nail on the head, as always. Thank you for being such a guiding light to me on my dark journey through all this muck. Sending you a tight hug and ❤️🙏🕊
I’ve done most of the things you named when requesting temporary orders. But haven’t had a hearing yet. I felt terrible asking for a meet spot other than my home because I never had to go through that even though my parents were divorced. My dad had sense enough to just pull up and wait for us to come out. But when I’ve told my soon to be ex to wait outside I have to brace myself for his revenge streak because of me making a boundary and even if he calms down and “cooperates” for a while eventually he starts acting like I never said not to come in and just waltzes in, goes through my kitchen, rummages through the cabinets taking food and taking drinks out of the fridge for himself acting like he lives here.
OMG I’ve expressed ALL of these things too! 😢
My abusive narcopath sibling broke no-contact with me right after his divorce asking me to hack his ex’s bank records to destroy her credit. It didn’t surprise me at all and was a wonderful reminder on how important no-contact is.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Thank you for helping me to get through the terrible situation with someone with this issue. I unfortunately didn’t know anything about NPD before asking my husband to get help. What I have received in return is unbelievable and ongoing. It’s shocking to realize I never knew this man that I spent so many years with.
I’m willing to go along with everything that’s happening. Maybe people thought that I would be scared. Uh oh. They misjudged my character again. I know that I will thrive even faster alone. It’s time to get it popping or leave me alone. I don’t have a family and I don’t want one. I thank God that I can finally accomplish the goals that I set for myself a long time ago. I thought that I missed my chance but it’s happening. I did not expect this kind of turn around. I am finally happy. Stephanie is back‼️
I walked away last week, so far it's been quite.......❗️
I experience it 2 days ago. Please pray for me
To anyone going through this before you bet away from the toxic person, your most powerful tool is the voice recorder on your phone. Every time my narc comes in the same room with me, I get in the shower, whenever I hit record. It doesn't take that much room and if nothing happens then you can delete it. I have been doing this as mine gaslights and accuses like crazy. When I do get out of this, she won't be lying to a court. Then if they accuse you of something and call the police on you, you can play back these recordings to the police and instead of you going to jail for DV, they will take them to jail.
Be certain you live in a one-party record state. Or you will end up in jail. This happened to my mother, the answering machine was recording and caught him telling the youngest child what to say, remember what we talked about - coaching her to accuse me (then 18yo and living away at college) of sexual abuse. My mother took it to the court and she and her lawyer were both arrested for wiretapping. He got custody.
@@ambergerbuns that's coercing a minor to commit perjury if on the stand. You can record verbal and physical abuse at any time in your home, car, etc. They cannot keep you from presenting evidence that proves abuse.
You're not wire tapping their phone or recording phone calls, you're recording what happens inside the home on the voice recorder app.
@@ambergerbunsgood. That’s an invasion of privacy. You want me to say despicable things then I will. Record and tell God. CPS worker told me that it’s inappropriate. So? Sue me!
I was followed every day for 8 years AFTER my divorce. Everything I did and everywhere I went was twisted to be wrong and shared with my children. I finally moved away. My ex married someone exactly like him and she funded the ongoing stalking and harassment. Over 700 court docket entries. Told neighbors I had a DUI. Tried to have me incarcerated for various lies. Alienated my oldest son and I haven’t talked to him in 4 years. Plus his new wife wrote all of his emails for him and would send defaming letters to my work and my kids schools. They would scream at me saying absurd lies, in the courthouse as well. Would threaten the school administrators and staff.
Your advice is a godsend 🙏 Thank you. I'm so sorry that you experienced such brutality and I sincerely hope that you are in a much happier and safe chapter of your life.
Everyone needs to know this 😢
My ex-sociopath filed a false domestic violence police report, had me followed, speared my name as a drug and alcohol abuser, alienated our children from me, and sold my cemetery plot so I couldn't be buried near my family members. He had an affair with his friend's wife and co-worker. Did I mention he was a police captain? a dangerous human being.
Go to counseling & discuss the issues in real time so that you can have a someone else who is also keeping a record..
Great video. Thank you.
You are a strong woman
I’m going through this right now. Left a few days ago.
The covert coward is abusing me through the divorce process, although he filed. Hes been living with his next supply from the moment he discarded yet dragging out the legal process. Such a mess
Life is better without them and deep down they know that
I’m not keeping a journal. My VIVINT security system footage is being erased. I want my children’s father to win. I don’t have a problem with being alone.
OmG you needed security guards. Yes self defence classes are a good thing,nars are violent.
Thank you if I did not mention it before! Its just we were destroyed because our abusers were in close connection to corruption in county with corrupt police, lawyers and even worse if that even seems possible.😢 Yes thats old business but it never stopped. D.v shelters were on sude of the corrupt county here at that time. This has never stopped and we still have horribly scarey people after us. My sin may be malignant. Not sure really. 💔
Even though I've gone no-contact, the narc has recruited a flying monkey in my social circle that attempted to embarass me on four different occasions in the last three years. Remaining calm and stoic has been a challenge, but I've managed.
What do these people hope to gain by this violent behavior? Do they actually think the person will return to them after they behave like this?
Never expose a covert narcissist regardless if you leave a narcissist or you are discarded by the narcissist I promise you you will live to regret it they will do whatever they can to destroy your life
I made him discard me and 3 years later he’s still harassing me!!
Since 1993, and still happening.
It's been three years.
He started eviction to leave me with nothing after he discarded me and moved on quickly to a new (old).relationship.
Then I self published my story
He took legal action against me for 7 criminal allegations.
I didn't get arrested. The Guardia Civil said minor misdemeanors.
His solicitor requested the maximum prison sentence for each crime. A cumulative total of 17 years.
Didn't seem.very minor to me.
Defamation is a criminal offence in Spain.
The court official told me in Spain it is innocent until proven guilty. Do she inferred my book called 'Post Separation Abuse' is defamation as he was not proven guilty as the case was dismissed.
She has no idea what happened. I do and that was why I published my book.
My soon to be ex wife has been attacking me at my lowest point to push me to kill myself. She's abused and degraded me in front of my kids, isolated me from my therapists and cut me off from my meds by cancelling my insurance, cutting me off from friends and family, turned my phone off and nuked my number, spread lies about me and accusing me of abuse and saying that our marriage counselor told her this and our friends said this, when both have said they never said that. She's robbed me of my own sense of reality and trust of others.
This is awful,cos narcs do not like to be rejected.
Why aren’t narcissists considered predators? They groom, abuse and torment their victims?
Keep the voice and text messages.
❤
The neighborhood is loaded with them. Be careful and cautious. 🤣 I have kilos of cocaine 😂😂😂😂 Here comes Barney 5 , and their little chickie in Cook county records department changing my records to get me fired . Document everything 7:11
You're right this world is going to be full of Narcs. Be careful and keep your distance from them
😂 Who's the mystery commentary coward who doesn't show up on comments. I don't care how much it may cost to get to the bottom of my identity theft, fraud , and fraud concerning my identity, credit, good standing in the community. (Attorneys, depositions, digital forensic investigation.) The truth will haunt the Fraudsters. They are going to need attorneys. So your little hidden comment may win you a ticket to see the judge... This is not a joke.
Geez, Jill!
Why can't everyone realize that the only person it's ever a worthwhile endeavor to compete against is ourselves?
Competition against anyone else isn't worthwhile because they are on their own paths like anyone competing should be...
Obviously this isn't relatable to sporting events like track meets. But otherwise it's a losing proposition to compete against anyone but ourselves...
Just my humble opinion, Jill... 🤷🏻♂️
Have you been psychologically or emotionally abused? Do you fear for your life? Why are you threatened by this advice?
Works or no separation?
Just for information that has helped me over the last few years is i watch/ listen to Stoic knowledge. 😊
Well I don’t want to play the game okay I’m NOT a good game player. I’m sick of the games.
I ❤the intro song sound bite ❤