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Are You A Victim of Narcissistic Abuse? Signs and Symptoms that You Might Be A Victim of Narcissist
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- čas přidán 24. 06. 2023
- In today's video Jill explains the signs and symptoms that you may be a victim of Narcissistic Abuse
Jill Wise, otherwise known as The Enlightened Target, is a life long survivor of narcissistic abuse. She was raised by a malignant narcissist and married to a malignant narcissist, she has endured years of parental alienation, has repeatedly been targeted by narcissists throughout her life. She has an intimate understanding of all aspects of narcissistic abuse and Cptsd. She uses her experience and what she has learned to help educate others and bring awareness to narcissistic abuse. She is also a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach and works with clients all over the world heal from the trauma of narcissistic abuse, parental alienation and Complex Ptsd.
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So sad for the child we were. They destroyed our trust and confidence 😢
But we emerged from the fog better people
I find that the best ways to regain one’s confidence are to firstly develop the life skills necessary to have options in life (i.e., be able to walk away from toxic people, unlike when we were growing up), and secondly to be able to identify toxicity & have firm boundaries.
Narcs can feel ENERGETICALLY when you’re not going to put up w/ any of their BS, and will look for easier prey. If it’s narcs you’ve known from before your transition to Badass, then they’ll take longer to realize that you mean it, but being stoic & firm usually does it.
Once you stop reacting to them, they quickly become bored w/ you, since they feed off of your sadness & anger, being the parasites they are.
So true
But we survived and that shows us how strong we are with our battle scars. More importantly we didn’t become like them, the narcissists. We didn’t lose ourselves and we won super power from this journey because once you see it, you can’t unsee it ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Good part is that you can learn anything. Which means you can learn how to have confidence and love yourself. It takes time as any other skill. Don't think whatever this possible. Your true power grow from within. Don't think all is lost. Because only you can write "The End" to your story.
I've lived with my narcissistic parents my entire life. One thing I find ironic is that my narcissistic mother has often criticized me over the years for possessing characteristics that she herself helped to create. For example, she has criticized me for not being assertive enough with others, for having a low sense of self-worth, etc., and has tried to get me to read self help books to help me figure out what's wrong with me. However, she would NEVER be willing to take any responsibility for any part that she might have played in all of this.
Hit pretty much of what I am dealing with and am thankful I’ve finally learned what has happened in my life from a small child on up. At 62 I’m finally free of narcissistic ex husbands and family members who have treated me like dirt my whole life.
At 65 now.. being away and on my own for 25 years now it is still affecting me because my 4 children have been terribly affected as well and as usual I am still picking ip the pieces to put them back together. It's really tough but they are getting there.
Me?? I just keep to myself.
You can do it. 👍🏼
@@tazzygeoff621 My sons were def affected as well. My oldest died 2 years ago. That nightmare and the way my family and husband acted at that time opened my eyes tremendously. Why my ex is now my ex and why I’m done with family of origin. I saw the hatefulness, the divisiveness, the coldness and hard hearted actions in a whole new light. They were basically always that way, but the death of my son put it in a whole new perspective along with the great therapy and counseling I’ve been getting for the past 4 years. My youngest son wants nothing to do with my family or his father either. His father left and moved 1000 miles away after my son died. Was ok for me but for my other son it was heartbreaking. I will be ok. I’ll be in therapy for awhile but I am making progress.
Sigh I am happy for you I wish I was most of the time
Im still feelling astray after two years away from the narc
Spot on with my finally soon to be ex husband. I buried myself in 5+ years of heavy drinking to cope. Finally 3.5 years sober and moved out of the house 7 months ago
The narcs drive us to abuse substances and then use it as "proof" of us being "the problem".......while they are seen as saints by their worshipful idiots.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@@MaryTongx Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@@MaryTongx Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
I walked on egg shells all my life.. so much that I never wanted to go home.
Now at 65yoa I don't want yo leave the house, soo it's just me and my dog forever now.
This is so me. At 40. Still being scapegoated and hostaged by narcissistic family. Rescuing dogs is the only thing I care about anymore l anymore.
“It’s not an event. It’s a process”
Never truer words ….
Thank you 🙏
The inner critical voice started out as my Dad's voice. After his death, it was my boss's voice. Then it became my voice. I've never been good enough.
You will know you have overcome when you want to question your decisions and decide that it's not necessary.
You can't tell them anything either. It's like they can't hear words that they don't want to hear. It's almost a super power.
I’m lucky… I didn’t fall into drugs or alcohol to cope. I’m lucky I realized how to live a different kind of life then what I was taught. I’m lucky to break free.
It’s lonely. The others are still stuck and I don’t know if they’ll ever be free. Narc has money.
I’m the first to break free because I never needed money… just love and respect.
I'm divorcing my narcissist. And as I'm going through the process, I wake up every morning doubting that I'm doing the right thing. After reviewing it all again, every morning, I'm once again sure this is the right move. What I don't like about all this is waking up to feelings of unsurety, having it come up in my thoughts every day - I'd like to have a day where I just am able to forget it , just one day. And I don't like the feelings of pity I experience toward my abuser. He really is quite pitiable/pitiful. And I have gone no contact, "scorched earth"/"talk to my lawyer".
It's taken Me a long time to trust my own opinions.
And I'm doing pretty good.
Thank you, Jill
Peace 💕🇺🇲
They definitely make you second guess yourself. Everything you said Jill is spot on.
Woke up after 44 years to this. Realised my entire life was an illusion. Ego died anxieties cured
Thank you for this video! I experienced ALL of these! I am now on the other side after so many years of a tortured soul! I thought there was something innately wrong with me. My mom did a lot of damage to my sense of self and always found fault with every decision I made. She made fun of my physical features, talked bad about me to my friends, pitted me and my siblings against each other, gave the silent treatment, had screaming meltdowns and then blamed me for them….the list is endless! At 57, after therapy and hard work, I am free. I have set clear boundaries with her and she no longer has the control she once had. Standing up to her and standing up for my inner child has made such a difference.
This is exactly what has been happening to me in my original family. I learned that both my mom & sis are vicious vindictive narcissists. It makes me angry because I was not bothering anyone. These 2 sat on the sidelines bullying & criticising me. I was bright & happy. The 2 of them worked together to dismantle my self esteem. Every bad thing they accused me of, is true of them. There's no limit to their evilness & haughtiness. They have turned the family against me with their lies. The sad part is, my siblings know my character. And they know my mom's & sister's character. But they still choose to go along with them. Blatant character assassination makes me angry. These 2 have assumed my character & assigned me their dark traits & they're getting away with it.
You have powerful videos that clearly express exactly who these people are and how underhanded they are. Thank You ❤
Great video, Jill. I have the worst inner critic voice. It was completely debilitating….life destroying.
The decision making part. That made me really think.
I had/have every single one of these. The worst was the familial alienation which had me convinced I was this wretched person that my mother described me as being. I really believed it for a while because "who would lie about something so serious".... That it must be true even if I couldn't recognize it in myself and my actions... Why else would my whole family believe it too if it weren't true. .. Some of the darkest days of my life played out for my mother's 'fuel."
The thing that shocked me the most was the inability of extended relatives to think for themselves. The narc tells them a lie, they swallow it like candy without questioning. The abused scapegoat tells them the TRUTH and they reject it and label you "insane".....
Ze flying monkeees. 😉😔
When you make a mistake, they use this as fuel
Meanwhile they completely ignore and gloss over all THEIR mistakes and the mistakes of their flying monkeys, "mistakes" which are usually done on purpose and way worse than your little gnat they are blowing out of proportion....
EXACTLY
They keep you in a perpetual state of confusion and that is how they get the upper hand. I have helped my sons friend whose mother is a narcissist. I was good friends with the mom until it went sour. I am seeing 1st hand the destruction this mother has done to her family. I'm glad I can be there for the children reaching the age they can move out and get some healing. I send them videos like this and give them unconditional love and validate their feelings.
Bingo!!! You hit on about 90% of the issues....
Thank you! All so true! I guess I “knew” most of this in general… I thought ..I hadn’t put it all in context. AND realized how many additional factors of my life have been effected.
Yes, I am, since childhood and beyond.
Once you get away from the N.. you’ll feel better very soon.
Very very useful many many thanks for sharing, it was so helpful. Watched quite a bit on CZcams regarding this subject, this was very precise and basically nailed the issues many people may be facing.
Will be watching more
Again, a very clear explanation of the side effects when you adapt yourself to narcissistic abuse. Thank you Jill!
Thank you very much Jill
Omgosh, I’m devastated
Thank you so much for this as a man you never give yourself the truth with being abused and this helps except the situation. Some of us may be in and maybe we’ve never heard the truth the way it needs to be told. Thank you so much for answering my prayers with understanding Exactly these types of situations and knowing that there is help out there for being in these horrible circumstances.
Thank you for these videos. God bless you.
Thank You❤️💔❤️💃
Yes both my mom and dad are one of them
Thank you
I had never heard of this. Another video hinted it to me so i did another search and wound up here. Im a man of athletic build, make very good money and am loyal and honest. My soon to be ex wife exhibitted every one of these behaviors and destroy my self confidence and trust that I am capable, competent, and can do better. Weve been seperated for two months and I still hate myself and dont trust new people. My circle of friends is nonexistent due to being practically confined to work and home. Hoping to make some new friends, maybe get laid lol. Move on to a better chapter in my life!
Exactly!
Or you develop rebel defense against the inadequacy , and that is also a problem , as that can interfere with humility , essential to learn and overcome one’s own weaknesses. Any admission of inadequacy will be agreeing with the abuser , that you are flawed, triggering the counterproductive defense of not being open to growth !
Those are not true Christians, I can assure you. Satan loves to diguise himself as an "angel of light"....this is in the Bible. So do his offspring (narcissists). Those are the same type of "Christians" that had Jesus Christ nailed to a cross for telling them the truth that they didn't want to hear....
Yes! When you are willing to examine your own faults and be vulnerable, it is used against you at some point. It’s frustrating and angering! All the while the narcissist blames you for being a narcissist and says that you admitted it when you said…😡
thnx Jill
im alone i used to be fun
Hello, this is the first time I write to your channel, but this does not mean that I do not know beforehand what you are referring to in your videos. If I told my case around here, many might think I'm crazy or paranoid and unfortunately most ordinary people have no idea how far this topic of narcissism and mind control could go. Not only in a small circle of people, either through work or educational level but at much higher levels of society. Many, for example, believe that MK Ultra, all these tortures and procedures carried out by the CIA, which would be unnecessary to detail, because many already know what happened, but what they may not know is that processes like these are still being carried out with people selected and not necessarily intervening with experiments, drugs, etc, as in the case of MK Ultra, but with brainwashing techniques, and including many more people intimidating and abusing the victims they choose for this. My case has been one of them and it has not been a short time exposed to this, it has been for many years and taking advantage of the social networks that exist today they have tortured me and I have served as a kind of guinea pig. But anyway, believe me, I do not think that my case is very Common and even a high percentage of people are unaware or imagine that something like this can be done with a human being. But for my story it would take more than a simple comment, it is much more complex than anyone could imagine. Thank you for your videos, which are very useful to many. GREETINGS
My God 😢
Thanks!
Thank you so much!!! I truly appreciate it!! ❤️
@@theenlightenedtarget you're most welcome ♥️
❤🙏
Yes, im a survivo✊✊r.
I don't if this is relating to this, but I had someone who would critize everything I did, would say I was like talking to a wall, always complaining about my effort level and she wants to see more, claim multiple time how perfect she is, etc. I never slept with her, but even after I walked away she messaged me saying from her perspective I don't even know how to use my dick and laughed, even though she woulden't know if that's true or not, seemed childish and pointless statement. but essentially i was left feeling like i'm a shitty person or i have a tonne of issues. when I put in a good amount of effort.
She’s projecting herself onto you and trying to tear you down. Try not to believe her crap.
@caroann I don't talk to her anymore. But I did everything and was very kind to her and respectful.
Def few in my family and X friends ,I've been physically abused as adult and group abused, mocked in group settings repeatedly , shunned and blacklisted ,branded horrible ,witch , immature , sensitive and always takes things wrong way . I've had many females jealous of me and act like pack wolves. My opinions are disrespected and I'm treated like I'm inferior and simple .
If you have question you already know the answer
Have you whitnessed a narc healing and repenting ?
Never.
@@reesedaniel5835 i asked this in a lot of videos that talk about narcissism and no one said yes , i don't know why my mind can't accept that someone is doomed to be bad forever with no chance or poossibility for repentence
Narcissists never think they are to blame and NEVER say they are sorry for anything! They believe they are perfect and everyone in their life are fools to be toyed with! What a sad existence. So happy to have the freedom to choose who is in my life now.
Yup, I'm selfish. I'm stepping on your toes and _you're_ selfish because you won't let me.
I remember when I wanted to go to college in my early 20s and needed a little money past the grants. My abusive dad goes "Alright, I'll bet on a losing horse this one last time". I was like 😳 You're the reason, you f#@*
Just was thinking, also, similarly... In high school, I had a crush on the school 'bad boy'. I had the Biblical fruits of the Spirit listed on a bookcover, and he wrote something debased next to every one. I thought it was cute and left it (some were very clever, and my self-worth was zilch). When my dad saw it, he flew into a rage "You wanna be walked on??!" And he threw me to the ground and proceeded to try to walk on me. He kept screaming "You wanna be walked on? Did I raise you to wanna be walked on???" (Um, actually... yes.) Every time I tried to get up, he'd repeat the process.
When I told my older cousin, she smirked and said "Sick bastard". It was only then that I realized... everyone in the family _knew_ . I'll never forget that smirk or two-word proclamation of truth. My healing began that day.
💯✌️
💙☮️👑🌺
ouch it hurts it has always hurt after a while you assume this is normal to late you missed out on all the wonderful experiences life has to offer your alone you cant stop thinking about what could have been the opportunity's missed loveless no hopes no dreams waiting for permanent darkness drifting like a ship lost at see like a sub at the titanic waiting to implode anything good that ever tried to come your way taken by these monsters a walking dead a living nightmare hold me please hold me please 😭😫
yikes oh my god