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Will You Be Happier Divorcing A Narcissistic Spouse.

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  • čas přidán 1. 05. 2023
  • Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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Komentáře • 235

  • @saladgirl2062
    @saladgirl2062 Před rokem +193

    I’m 64 recently divorced following a 32 year marriage with four children all of whom are adults . And yes it is been hard I endure financial insecurity , loneliness and grief. I was prepared for this , for when I compared those challenges with spending the rest of my precious life with a man who routinely mocked me, openly flirted , had a serious porn addiction and multiple affairs I decided I would risk the uncertainty of life after divorce rather than certain misery and the slow death of my person hood . How am I now , sad, but it’s a rich feeling so much more tolerable than the flat colour less tension I felt in my marriage . I also have those things so important to all of us , dignity and hope.

    • @Kittyxoxo
      @Kittyxoxo Před rokem +7

      sorry to hear that, but I wana let you know, my mom divorced twice and she's Christian, but she said, if you are not happy and not given what they promised, that's a break of their promise and bond, you are free to leave as you only live once. Live it the BEST way you can, don't ever settle for less :)

    • @rascallyrabbit
      @rascallyrabbit Před rokem

      his behavior makes him a person aiming down. you seem to want to aim up. he, in my opinion, is an a hole. Try to remember you are God's favorite (we all are) and go have some fun. It will take time to remove all the staples your evil husband drove into you. People who love you don't use a staple gun on you. He was and is s h i t.

    • @CO2isfake
      @CO2isfake Před rokem +6

      Me too, it was bad. It took 6 years to feel normal. I’m remembering who I used to be.
      Toxic relationships are so draining. They steal all your emotional energy and you can’t think about your own needs, let alone take note of what others need.

    • @ippmoeproject8502
      @ippmoeproject8502 Před rokem +9

      You are a hero to me. To break away from that trauma bond you have to be one strong woman. I hope you get the blessings in life you so richly deserve. You are awesome my dear and don’t ever forget that.

    • @hismom5600
      @hismom5600 Před rokem +6

      Praying for you sister. I'm proud of your courage. It will be rewarded.

  • @kitgohre6104
    @kitgohre6104 Před rokem +132

    Divorcing at 60. I've been exercising and feel so much better.

    • @susanbenson3232
      @susanbenson3232 Před rokem +8

      So glad to hear you're doing better!

    • @marka.8535
      @marka.8535 Před rokem +18

      I was 58 when I filed for divorce and 5 years later I was divorced and my 12 year old daughter was turned against me. It was such a catch 22 situation ; stay and endure some abuse or leave, and endure less abuse . I do think my daughter was brainwashed against me and even if I stayed her mother gets too much sadistic pleasure out of hurting me and creating chaos.

    • @andrejensen7837
      @andrejensen7837 Před rokem +11

      ​@@marka.8535 My story is allmost the same .. Its not the figth of your life, its was a figth to stay alive. But it was worth the figth.

    • @kitgohre6104
      @kitgohre6104 Před rokem +11

      @Mark A. the pain of suffering in this type of marriage is so terrible. It makes us physically and mentally ill. Show good character in your life and your daughter will see the good man you are. That was the promise I made myself and so now that he's gone I don't have to hang my head in shame about who I was. Maybe get a picture of yourself as a young person and take care of yourself as you would love that young man and protect him. It's been hobbies I love that have helped me too. My best to you

    • @carefulcarpenter
      @carefulcarpenter Před rokem +4

      We have been married for 44 years. From the start, we respected each other's independent nature. We are "project people" who have explored our inner realm from the beginning, and our children, now independent adults, are living their independent dreams. Neither are married, but have stable relationships. Projects are part of our children's lives and satisfaction. Thank the Lord for creative minds! In difficult days there is always a cave to withdraw to. Unlike the gym or the mall, where other narcissists hang out, a cave is less likely to attract such animals! 😁

  • @Sabina-ve9ie
    @Sabina-ve9ie Před rokem +131

    Good video! I was married to a narcissistic husband for nearly 20years and meanwhile I'm divorced since 9 years. The first two years have been tough but it was always a release! Divorce from the narcissist was my best decision despite all the fears and insecurities. During the time I started new hobbies, met new people I like a lot and had some relationships with men.
    Now I'm 61, a happy single and living a peaceful life in freedom. Be brave and take the risk❣
    Greetings from Germany 🤗

    • @tammiewilliams6802
      @tammiewilliams6802 Před 8 měsíci +1

      Going thru Divorce now 2 half years married 13 years one day at a time 😢

  • @gorunsko31
    @gorunsko31 Před rokem +86

    It may be too late for me… 74. 😢exhausted by 47 years with the covert, occasionally malignant, cruel, narcissist. Best wishes to all seekers of healing. ❤
    An update: 2 weeks later I feel better. Got my fitness routine established: walk, swim, yoga on my own and one class. Maybe someone needs to hear this: getting in touch with my neglected self and learning to love myself as I am: old, but still pretty smart, stronger physically and wiser. Love and peace ☮️💕

    • @romanastrasheim5226
      @romanastrasheim5226 Před rokem +8

      Sending love, hugs ...🙌
      Keep on shining your light!!

    • @PaperKitty99
      @PaperKitty99 Před rokem +5

      I’m sorry. Hope u can leave ❤️‍🩹

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +4

      @@romanastrasheim5226 thank you 🙏 hug received.

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +3

      @@PaperKitty99 thank you. Appreciate your support ❤

    • @kimmonks116
      @kimmonks116 Před rokem +8

      Oh crikey 😒😢47 yrs...your adrenals..everything including your soul will be utterly exhausted 😔I lasted 28 yrs..massive struggle the latter 8 yrs or so and so trauma bonded kept low contact further 4 yrs..so resulted in 33 yrs now..since 1990 we met..I am still healing so slowly..all areas of my life a mess..but a veil is lifting to become stronger..I have to sort eventually..being triangulated with his Ex before me..they never change..it became extremely traumatic for me..Bless you 🙏 whatever you decide or can decide is best 🙏❤

  • @christinaeames5321
    @christinaeames5321 Před rokem +63

    I am totally happier divorced. Not perfect but being alone in a relationship is lonelier than actually being alone. I am proud of myself and left at 62.

    • @barbarciola1459
      @barbarciola1459 Před 11 měsíci +1

      I left after 40 years of marriage! I’m 59! I left a couple weeks ago. It’s scary but I’m trusting the Lord for my promised land. I have to get a job because I was my husbands caregiver for 35 years because he became paralyzed in a motorcycle accident when we were 23 years old. And of course he could careless and don’t want to help me at all but he has to give me half of everything. I told him that today and boy did that make him mad. SMH!

    • @CC..Jeremiah9_24
      @CC..Jeremiah9_24 Před 10 měsíci +1

      I’m 61 and divorcing after 37 years. It’s always been abusive, but when our youngest son moved out, the demon really came out. I too have to find a job, but it’s difficult. Been semi-retired since 2020, on my husband’s urging, and I walked right into that trap. How did I figure that it was a trap? He mocked what I make part time then started going through grocery bags yelling at me about buying too much. He even checked the garbage and recycling bins. My neighbor saw him doing this. I’m so tired. 😞. Gob bless you both.

  • @arelisasteasuainzarra6220

    Divorcing at 67 and I’m losing everything but I know that I’m going to be happy from this narcissist husband

  • @theoracle5265
    @theoracle5265 Před rokem +25

    I'm happier and I have more peace no more head games and emotional abuse, yippie!😊

  • @sarahgrohmusic
    @sarahgrohmusic Před rokem +75

    Divorcing, cause I knew I was in my prime at 50. Filed and am already happier. Thanks for saying 40-60 is prime!

  • @debbylee6329
    @debbylee6329 Před rokem +64

    I was married for 45 years to a narcissist. Got out 4 years ago. He had robbed and spent every cent of our retirement monies and if he had his own way back then, he would of left me with nothing. Cost me a fortune for a divorce lawyer but walked out with a paid up house and car. I may be broke financially but it was the best thing I ever did!! Was not going to let him take everything for himself. Went complete no contact immediately and will continue it for a lifetime. Please dont waste the years that I did. There is a life after a narcissist🎉

    • @susanbenson3232
      @susanbenson3232 Před rokem +1

      I'm so happy for you, Debby, & sorry for everything you endured for so long. 44 yrs, here, & 42 of them, married. Well, if you can call 1 way toward him, cheating, lying, & financial ruin, marriage. It helps me to hear there's hope even after so many years. Thanks, for sharing.

    • @user-uw5pg8cj9x
      @user-uw5pg8cj9x Před rokem

      Same for me at 62. He stole my teacher retirement 6 months before leaving. Gave up the house so I can buy it back. Have $40,000 left to get set up. 😢House was next door to spying, alienated backstabbing son he turned against me with his lies. Glad to be out!

    • @debbylee6329
      @debbylee6329 Před rokem +1

      @@user-uw5pg8cj9x These demons have a way of turning family member against family member. Divide and conquer is their plan. Stay strong and independent as you got this!!!! Happy you are finally free!!!!!!!

    • @user-uw5pg8cj9x
      @user-uw5pg8cj9x Před rokem

      @@debbylee6329 Thanks!

  • @suzannedawson6330
    @suzannedawson6330 Před rokem +49

    WhenI my narcissistic ex finally signed the divorce papers I felt a tremendous sense of relief and have experienced more peace than I had ever known before. Happy? My relationship with Christ have grown exponentially. I’d say this is happiness.

    • @mlou7432
      @mlou7432 Před rokem +7

      I’ve told my narc, (we’ve been married 34 years and I set a boundary 3 1/2 years ago, of sleeping in separate rooms and living separate lives,) but I told him in the Bible, God says not to trust in man, but the trust in him. The Bible also says it’s better not to marry. Apparently he didn’t believe any of that but it shut him up in that moment. He’s so afraid to lose me, because he needs me to uphold his self image he’s created. My auto immune and fibromyalgia has caused me to lose my voice, and my swallowing muscles in my esophagus to not work well together. I’ve been through swallowing rehab & Voice rehab, and recently had a small stroke. I just turned 58. I’m waiting on God to lead me whether to divorce or not but thank God I was able to set that boundary.

    • @davespark10
      @davespark10 Před rokem +2

      That's hard. God bless you in your struggles.

    • @Anonymous-sv9yd
      @Anonymous-sv9yd Před 11 měsíci

      @@mlou7432please leave him! Your health will be restored!

  • @clairekyriakou591
    @clairekyriakou591 Před rokem +23

    I did....set myself free from a toxic marriage after 27 years... And proud of making it on my own...although he was allways telling me i couldn t survive..😊

  • @jenn8840
    @jenn8840 Před 10 měsíci +6

    YES!!! I divorced my NACR, we're married for 26 years. I truly wished I divorced him years ago!! I'm a lot more happier without him and less stress because they put that on you. l've been single for the last three years, I'm good being single, but look forward to being with a man who Loves God more than me! :)

  • @ippmoeproject8502
    @ippmoeproject8502 Před rokem +38

    I’m ready to be over with this 34 year marriage to a closet gay narcissist. I’m getting geared up for sure. Got some health issues to take care of first. I don’t listen to anyone church related. I listen to people who have been through it.

    • @rascallyrabbit
      @rascallyrabbit Před rokem +2

      have you listened to behind the mirror videos. she is very good too. You know Kevin is a Christian! He just doesn't buy the church, religious dogma. I may be wrong though.

    • @valwalker9606
      @valwalker9606 Před rokem +1

      It's never too late. I'm eight years behind you. Left a month ago and live in a controlled rent apt. Best decision I made for myself. Wish you nothing but the best❤

    • @Maria__57
      @Maria__57 Před rokem +1

      ​@@rascallyrabbitJESUS didn't buy religious stuff either...& HE hates divorce.. but if someone Is cheating on you.& abusing you... HE said we can divorce...

  • @trumpeterswan4177
    @trumpeterswan4177 Před rokem +23

    Hard for me to even say this but I encourage abused spouses to move out and think very hard about whether you even miss the abuser, whether love is being given, whether you even like the other person and if they are willing to change. If no, then you are free to divorce with no shame, pray and see what God shows you. I wish you peace and joy from a fellow abuse survivor 4 years divorced.

  • @victoriagibson411
    @victoriagibson411 Před rokem +37

    I have divorced two. And I don't regret it at all. They were both cheating on me. And that is one thing I cannot deal with. They both tried to take everything that I had. But I moved to a different state and couldn't be happier! And I'm a better mother to my son.

    • @jordanferguson2254
      @jordanferguson2254 Před rokem +1

      Good that you prioritised your self worth and the environment you'd be bringing your son up in. I'm also happy they didn't get what they wanted. People are scum, man 🤢

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 Před rokem +53

    Thank you Kevin for a very wise and realistic analysis and approach to divorce. I got divorced from a narcisistic covertly passive agressive person five years ago and I think I would have died If I hadn’t decided to do it. When you are staying in an abusive narcisistic relationship you are slowly losing everything and I got to a point in which I would have done everything to end that crazy dysfunctional relationship. I had the strength to do it because of my daughter whom I wanted to protect and give her a chance to see that people differ and can live different lives with different values and goals in life and it will be up to her to decide which path seems more suitable for her. I could not live a life of lies and dishonesty any longer and I do not regret it. A day spent in a narcisistic relationship is a day wasted and you pay with your life.

    • @trumpeterswan4177
      @trumpeterswan4177 Před rokem +5

      My story is similar. Have woken up every morning since leaving thanking God for setting me free!

  • @mykedoes4099
    @mykedoes4099 Před rokem +27

    Kids or not , divorce then spit on the floor ...

  • @deedahl2866
    @deedahl2866 Před rokem +19

    6 measures of psychological well being: 1 - Automony/Self Govt. 2 - Environmental Mastery. 3 - Personal Growth. 4 - Positive relations with others. 5 - Your purpose in Life. 6 - Self Acceptance / Validation.

  • @freeandfabulous4310
    @freeandfabulous4310 Před rokem +30

    Well done. I was divorced from my husband then came back together. We live as a family now. It was a very good decision for me and my kids. We have a beautiful life minus intimacy and true friendship. It’s more of a partnership. Parts of me died but parts of me are alive. There’s a cost and a benefit to all decisions. Moral of the story, choose wisely the first time around. Choose wisely the first time around. Don’t settle out of fear.

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +6

      I hear you. It hurts to stay snd it hurts to leave.

    • @danrichardson2958
      @danrichardson2958 Před 7 měsíci +1

      Hi, I am considering separation or divorce. I would love to learn more about your situation and why you went back to your husband, so I can maybe learn from it.

  • @karenvalentine7321
    @karenvalentine7321 Před rokem +26

    I am 60 - And have been divorced nearly a year from a very abusive narcissistic spouse! I do feel I am in my prime, and I did have to choose divorce on my own through much prayer after 2 1/2 years of increased abusive circumstances. I Say thank you Lord that I am delivered from the unrighteous and cruel handed man!

  • @Grrrrrrr123
    @Grrrrrrr123 Před rokem +15

    Left a year ago age 59 when I realised he was fleecing our savings. I had suffered all kinds of abuse and the divorce is dragging out but so worth it I feel a million times better ❤

  • @19katsandcounting
    @19katsandcounting Před rokem +29

    That’s like continuing drug abuse because getting clean doesn’t guarantee happiness, and everyone else is doing it. Our economy is heavily dependent on people staying married at all costs. People live in so much fear. Separate from the haters, even adult children if needed. Eventually, after they’re alone with the narcissist they will see the light and come back around. The narcissist will find a new victim and they will see.

    • @Oh-happy-day
      @Oh-happy-day Před rokem +2

      Question
      Where do I start in the process to divorce??
      I’m 59 working full time retail
      Hubby never put my name on the home and he is retired
      I’ve been married 13 years and did not realize how unfeeling and cold and self centered he is until he retired although I can see a ton of red flags after the fact
      He wants my paycheck but I don’t give it any more which is confusing him and he keeps asking for it.

    • @19katsandcounting
      @19katsandcounting Před rokem +4

      @@Oh-happy-day don’t give him any money and go talk to a lawyer asap. Just because his name is on the house doesn’t mean anything. He’d have to sell it and split the equity. Be really sure he doesn’t find out you spoke to a lawyer.

    • @treelover1050
      @treelover1050 Před rokem +6

      YOU OPEN YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK. START RESEARCHING RENTING ROOMS IN BOARDING HOUSES OR APARTMENT RENTS. RESEARCH FINDING ROOMMATES TO SHARE EXPENSES IN YOUR AREA. REMEMBER TO COLLECT YOUR IMPORTANT PAPERS AND KEEP THEM IN A SAFE PLACE.

    • @Oh-happy-day
      @Oh-happy-day Před rokem +1

      @@treelover1050 I really appreciate that you care
      I needed that
      I did get a new bank account and now he is telling our friends that I owe him

  • @jsamanthawise1379
    @jsamanthawise1379 Před rokem +35

    I’m 75 my narc left me 9 months ago I have to start over now

    • @susanbenson3232
      @susanbenson3232 Před rokem +12

      I'm sorry for your pain!. I hope you start over & have the best years you've ever had! Big hugs.

    • @debbylee6329
      @debbylee6329 Před rokem +16

      You are never too old to start over. I did it in my 60's, it's hard financially but I do not regret it. My health is better and I am now just finding me. You can do it, just do your best everyday and cry when you need to. God bless you, you are courageous!

    • @jsamanthawise1379
      @jsamanthawise1379 Před rokem +4

      Thank you ladies for caring be blessed

    • @mutteredimprecation
      @mutteredimprecation Před rokem +5

      It’s a tough process, but it gets better. Wishing you strength and happiness.

  • @kathiehamerik3063
    @kathiehamerik3063 Před rokem +14

    my marriage was over in my heart before we even left. Been separated and Ive decided to divorce.

  • @shylynn693
    @shylynn693 Před rokem +19

    Thank you your videos have helped alot.. I have been married to a Narcissist for 40 years.. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +3

      Me too… for 47.

    • @shylynn693
      @shylynn693 Před rokem +3

      @@gorunsko31 am so sorry I know how hard it is..

  • @TheRebels57
    @TheRebels57 Před rokem +22

    Thank you, your work is appreciated. I am married,42yrs, 6 kids. Practicing Catholic. My boundaries have gotten stronger and i do much more self love!

    • @kitgohre6104
      @kitgohre6104 Před rokem +5

      Yes I started healing while still married and developed hobbies and goals I love

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +7

      Thank for sharing. I am at the fork. Two adult children and two grandkids. Married 47 years, also raised Catholic and believed in marriage 💯 “ until death keeps us apart.” But I had 3 bad falls in period of 18 months. I got injured, I was very vulnerable. The narcissist refused to call 911 while I was in horrific pain from what felt like a fracture of a spine. A day later it was confirmed at Urgent Care ( I made an appointment) it was vertebral compression fracture of L1. I am hunted by his disapproval of my state of vulnerability. It makes me feel unsafe as I will, obviously will continue to age. He is 3 years younger in excellent shape. I am making a desperate attempt to heal from my injuries: I do my PT on my own, but it is emotionally painful how my husband of 47 years offers me no support and makes serious efforts to indulge in all day hiking snd out if town visits. Friends and Trader Joe’s soups were feeding me during 6 weeks of staying in bed. My heart is healing slower than my body. Best wishes.

    • @americawaters4257
      @americawaters4257 Před 11 měsíci

      ​@@gorunsko31I hope you are well. ❤

  • @douglascartlidge4591
    @douglascartlidge4591 Před rokem +9

    I believe one of the best ways to help someone.. Is to whole heartily actually listen to the person.. just listen.

  • @kathyarmstrong8644
    @kathyarmstrong8644 Před rokem +12

    Should have done it before I was devastated financially!!

  • @edweirdmassey
    @edweirdmassey Před rokem +8

    To my surprise, when I told my wife of 27 years I was going to divorce her the day she left instead of a great sadness I felt like a huge load was taken off my shoulders! I’m not saying it was a easy process but the sadness I felt while I was married was far worse. This is not to advocate what others should do but simply my experience. 15:15 Thanks for sharing this information!

  • @jeanrouland1380
    @jeanrouland1380 Před rokem +6

    I left my narc husband 2 months ago and I am at the crossroads. I’m going on the path of freedom but it is scary.

  • @christinamadvig1468
    @christinamadvig1468 Před rokem +30

    This life is so damn hard😢

    • @kitgohre6104
      @kitgohre6104 Před rokem +4

      Learn to see the beautiful you separate from them. I couldn't do it until I listened to 8 hr affirmations to love myself etc while I slept at night. They are free on youtube.
      Search: 8hr. Affirmations
      then choose your video. Later as you heal do the same with 8hr. Hypnosis for .....
      It trained my mind all these loving phrases and then his voice in your head fades.

    • @mutteredimprecation
      @mutteredimprecation Před rokem +1

      Yep, it sucks. But there’s still so much beauty out there. Though if someone had told me that right after my divorce, I’d have thought they were crazy.

  • @charlie-girl72
    @charlie-girl72 Před rokem +6

    I'm a giver. I'm not insecure of who i am. But I'm very insecure on who to give it to. I'm very emotional by this video.I'm drained for years. Thank you for your messages. Fear is what hunts me

  • @godscommandmentsaretruthis2837

    My narcissist wife got a little too 'friendly' with one of my neighbors and gave me the biblical grounds I needed to call it quits. I have no regrets. The most important thing I came to realize was that the person I fell in love with and married no longer exists... I divorced the monster she became.

  • @elainebmack
    @elainebmack Před rokem +7

    It's truly painful when people cannot accept anything you have to offer - when nothing from you matters to them. My now deceased father was this way, and I still have living family members who fall in this category. I have since gone no contact with them. When I was in my early 20's, I was in a relationship like this where the man could never accept anything from me, and I had a lot to give. The whole business made me feel very sad, but I kept my interests, friends, and career aspirations in line. It took a few years, but one day I realized that I had let him go. It was a good feeling.

  • @user-xl5zu8xk9v
    @user-xl5zu8xk9v Před 4 měsíci +3

    And, you will feel like crap because you have left a toxic relationship and must now detoxify

  • @maryannhunwick2774
    @maryannhunwick2774 Před rokem +5

    You are so beautiful, I adore you. Thank you for talking to me that day, and THANK you for this video. Just amazing. Much gratitude!

  • @gorunsko31
    @gorunsko31 Před rokem +18

    Not being able to nurture my partner because this will be rejected or misunderstood does create a stress. Thank you, Kevin. This is the first time I feel validated about this kind of suffering in the marital situation with the father of my children. I am naturally inclined to hug, or to show interest in “his are you? “ My covert narcissist would not let me greet him and show him the delight about coming home. Looking back I see how he was already preoccupied how he is going to shame about … whatever. Sometimes about children’s toys on the floor of a piece of food that “supposed to be consumed by now!”
    Appreciate Kevin’s attention to not only what we don’t get in our relationship with the narcissist but also what do we loose by not being able to deliver love and care. It hurts. It brings also memories of wanting to comfort my mom when she was visibly distressed, and yet being terrified of approaching her with my nurturing gesture. Undelivered love is like a piece of glass in my body… what do you do with it? Trying to nurture myself with less self imposed resistance … for the first time in my life. It can be done.

    • @ajamrealtv9329
      @ajamrealtv9329 Před rokem +2

      Taping, yoga, dancing, massage, swimming 😇🤗People who need hugs shall meet people who love hugs

    • @gorunsko31
      @gorunsko31 Před rokem +1

      @@ajamrealtv9329 exactly

  • @lorimiller7261
    @lorimiller7261 Před 7 měsíci +2

    I stayed for 19 years with children because it was the Christian thing to do. If I was an atheist I would have left years ago and started a healthy new life with no abuse. At 50 I now have a fresh start with freedom and Joy. My kids are already seeing the difference being away from the toxicity ❤ Great advice.

    • @MS-lg4yr
      @MS-lg4yr Před 6 měsíci +1

      I’m leaving, 16 years married. My 3 children are the reason I’ve stayed through this last year of pure hell, because I knew he’d do everything in his power to destroy me by taking them from me.
      I’ve said it would’ve been easier to divorce if I wasn’t a Christian, because I wouldn’t have listened to his constant abuse of scripture, telling me God wants him to control me, the Bible says a woman must submit to her husband even if he’s wrong, etc. He refuses to treat me like a human, yet is already making divorce an all out war.

    • @mountaingal5583
      @mountaingal5583 Před 2 měsíci

      I have been going through something similar. Just stick to what you want the end goal to be. Your kids are going to grow up and have their own lives. They need to see you free from the abuse.

  • @adamv4951
    @adamv4951 Před 8 měsíci +1

    He hit the nail on the head. Being unable to love because it will come back to bite you is the hardest thing.

  • @NeYamaKim
    @NeYamaKim Před měsícem +2

    15:15 Amen brother !... exactly why I'm divorcing my narcissistic "Christian" husband of 15 years.

  • @sandyhenry3238
    @sandyhenry3238 Před 11 měsíci +2

    Daily regular stresses of life are nothing when comparing living with a mentally abusive partner and who thinks his money is his and you have nothing forcing you to beg feel like you have to beg for money for normal expenses... I'm sorry those stresses keep you from sleeping and causes you to build an emotional wall around yourself.. Being free of that..As your life yourself realizes you are no longer oppressed... That gives a lot of joy that will compensate for every day life stresses.

  • @danyellesibert6724
    @danyellesibert6724 Před rokem +5

    I find this to be helpful and a very different way. I feel like all the things people are scared to lose. I’ve already lost while married. That’s how you know it’s time to go. I can only gain now.

  • @lreyes3987
    @lreyes3987 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Three kids and it’s been hard financially but it was the best thing I ever did! I expected to be alone forever and it would still have been so much better than being married to my narc ex! I am now in my mid 50s and I was alone for 6 years. But I have the best new partner and he shows me so much love every day.

  • @Tanya-m850
    @Tanya-m850 Před rokem +11

    I so appreciated your counsel yesterday, Kevin, thank you so much. God bless you, especially for the message that you just gave in this video.

  • @johnpowers5687
    @johnpowers5687 Před rokem +29

    I have been having difficulties with my marriage for sometimes now but with the help of this Sorceress, I have been able to put my marriage back together.

    • @johnpowers5687
      @johnpowers5687 Před rokem +1

      @caseymuller3480 Her name is Luana Kae Branigan.

    • @rascallyrabbit
      @rascallyrabbit Před rokem +2

      whoa, hold your horses. Jesus said to test the spirits for they are not all of God, Jehovah. We have our brain and we have our minds that choose which spirit we will listen to and that mind tells the brain what to do.. Be careful. A sorcerer and sorceress are aligned with the devil in the Bible. Does this person believe that Jesus was raised from the dead and does she obey the Word. Even Satan believes in God but Satan does not obey Jehovah God. But, if you are not a born again believer, forgive my intrusion. She is a voodoo priestess. Truth and lies.

    • @jordanferguson2254
      @jordanferguson2254 Před rokem +1

      Lmao, the likes on this bot comment. Some people are hopeless, no offence ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠ

    • @H0meN0w
      @H0meN0w Před rokem

      @@jordanferguson2254 whose the bot?

    • @lisakrajewski4699
      @lisakrajewski4699 Před 10 měsíci

      ​@@rascallyrabbitThank you! You are not intruding! Telling someone the TRUTH is what our HEAVENLY FATHER wants us to do! JESUS is THE ANSWER! Look to HIM! Thank you.❤🙏🏼❤

  • @user-xl5zu8xk9v
    @user-xl5zu8xk9v Před 4 měsíci +1

    And, The stress of living in emotional abuse is MUCH DIFFERENT than the stress of starting new.
    It's like comparing the stress of getting a univeristy degree or getting a divorce. DIFFERENT STRESSES

  • @GoFishOffice
    @GoFishOffice Před rokem +4

    Thank you for this, yes I divorced my abusive ex, best thing I did. Yes lots of unknowns and emotion but now I have a chance of thriving not just surviving

  • @julienatoli8561
    @julienatoli8561 Před rokem +3

    Love your new background!! Excellent change ... Great video Kevin, thank you!! God bless you mightily ❤

  • @theloststar9727
    @theloststar9727 Před 5 měsíci +2

    If you are beaten and traumatized in a marriage! Divorce is best of course! Your life partner should give you comfort and support and not treat you like their slave !

  • @summersalix
    @summersalix Před rokem +5

    I cannot wait for the 2 new video topics u mentioned. This topic was poignant too. Thank u for all u do!

  • @webbtherapy
    @webbtherapy Před rokem +9

    As they used to say in Al-Anon, "When in doubt, don't." If you are a woman with children to raise, don't believe the Pollyanna fairy tales that everything's going to be fine. When times get tough, it will help you get through life if you realize you had taken the time to choose the best of two evils.

  • @Poppi_Weasel
    @Poppi_Weasel Před rokem +4

    Great Lighting, Kevin

  • @christinehillebrand3667
    @christinehillebrand3667 Před rokem +2

    I am soo soo grateful for the possibility of divorce ! Our grandparents did not have this opportunity. I went through this hell too, but few years afterwards I was born in a new life, I nevere expected.

  • @BlueNavy409
    @BlueNavy409 Před rokem +3

    I Know Absolutely , Rightly , Surety For Me Is The Thing To Do Is Divorce ! The Narcissist Spouse ( hus ) Is A permanent Pattern .. 🧠 So It Time To Say By , by !

  • @saisafetytrends
    @saisafetytrends Před rokem +3

    great topic and explanation. i love the bananas, too.

  • @TJ-015
    @TJ-015 Před 4 měsíci +1

    17:30 - 18:20. Gold.
    If the risk of losing everything is still more appealing that staying in a marriage where your robbed of expressing yourself…

  • @shelleykapp9637
    @shelleykapp9637 Před rokem +5

    Starvation--YES! And the frustration of not being able to give what I was designed to give.
    RE: Chicago. I think the phrase you're looking for is Shit Show

  • @lisasunshine773
    @lisasunshine773 Před rokem +7

    Yes, divorced in 1999. 🎉🎉🎉

  • @gloriacoleman7012
    @gloriacoleman7012 Před rokem +3

    Really glad you have done this Kevin, life with a narc is poor in every area and impacts children as adults too, life is better and richer safer happier for me and my adult son.
    I am now in my late sixties and divorced for 10 years running my own home for 13 years
    married over 20 years or should I say caged, but now have the life God has for me not
    what the narc wants to suck away, yes it takes time and effort but you are worth it and so are the ones you love.

  • @seashell1037
    @seashell1037 Před rokem +3

    You are right in everything you said. I wish I had this video years ago. I would have stayed married for the sake of my children not getting hurt more than they already were

  • @garryneidig2511
    @garryneidig2511 Před rokem +2

    One of your videos where you mention the effects on the HPA has saved me Thank you. I didn't even know what that was but did the research. I suffer tinitus which I know is created in the stress center of the brain. It has changed and pulses loudly. I concluded that I am deep into stage three. Told her I am divorcing and there were no words only silence. I am so ill now I know why and what I must do to save myself. THANK YOU!

  • @LivinLifeLive316
    @LivinLifeLive316 Před 8 měsíci

    Holy crap!!! I have never heard this phrase quite like this before and it’s GOLDEN!!! Thanks again my friend, for sharing TRUTH!!!
    Phrase: The grass is always greener on the other side until you step into 💩!!!!! 👏👏👏

  • @theonewhoknows2817
    @theonewhoknows2817 Před rokem +3

    Throw a quarter in the air and call heads or tails and before it lands, you'll know which one you wished for. A Narcissistic Warrior told you that.

  • @Annagametv
    @Annagametv Před rokem

    I am looking at all the advice pieces with million views and hundreds of thousands ... and this is the best!

  • @faymoosa5064
    @faymoosa5064 Před rokem +1

    I am 62yrs and married for 42yrs. Had enough. Decided to leave. He brainwashed my son against me. 😢

  • @nateeshapavao5014
    @nateeshapavao5014 Před rokem +1

    I am finally going through the divorce process with my soon to be ex husband who is a very dangerous Abusive Malignant Narcissist.

  • @JK20239
    @JK20239 Před rokem +5

    Im 34 and single. Is marriage worth it? I dont want to marry a narcissist lol

    • @MeenaMonjazeb-kn8dq
      @MeenaMonjazeb-kn8dq Před rokem +3

      Check out Professor Sam Vaknin who is the leading authority on personality disorders. He is the one who coined the labels “narcissistic abuse, flying monkeys etc” If you do your research you should be okay. Love is a blessing but we all need to grow and get help before running into the abyss of relationships.

  • @tendanimukwevho8828
    @tendanimukwevho8828 Před rokem +3

    Very true is better to choose yourself l am so happier now devorced than being in a toxic relationship 😂😂❤❤❤

  • @jennyb2449
    @jennyb2449 Před rokem +2

    I've been looking for the right words...it is starvation!! Thank you for this insight❤

  • @theworldneedsyou111
    @theworldneedsyou111 Před rokem +2

    Beautifully explained 💚

  • @ninjask8ter
    @ninjask8ter Před rokem

    I think these videos are more effective if watched more than once. I appreciate that you cover a lot of information here from different perspectives.

  • @secreteobsession3584
    @secreteobsession3584 Před rokem +2

    Nightmare cannot stand my ex husband to be he has belonged the finance in our divorce plus negotiations with narcissistic is a joke they feel that there above the law. Been apart and going through a divorce with narcissistic is a headache u get to the point when you want to get rid of them

  • @johnwhite6312
    @johnwhite6312 Před 4 měsíci

    Stay or go at 70 is a terrifying decision. "Both decisions will look wrong" is absolutely correct.

  • @annemariehattingh2923

    So much guidance... after 23 years I have to leave the marriage to survive and use my talents again.

  • @theresiacunha7433
    @theresiacunha7433 Před rokem +1

    Thank you Kevin 🙏👏💕

  • @MelanieTenor
    @MelanieTenor Před rokem +5

    Very good video! Exactly what I have been looking for. I've been so stressed out on whether to stay or go, but I am disabled and don't make a lot of money. I could use some suggestions on what to do. Please help!

    • @mapleleaf902
      @mapleleaf902 Před rokem +4

      Check legal aid services, they may/csn give you free information to help you

    • @queenesther4142
      @queenesther4142 Před rokem +1

      Go to the human resources in your area. To get help with housing, look into Catholic charities in your area. Try to get food stamps, and money. Tell them what you're going through and look into legal aid for help in filing for a divorce. Or whatever you choose. I hope this helps. God bless!

  • @Kittyxoxo
    @Kittyxoxo Před rokem +1

    Thank you for this video, he kept asking me to go see therapists but I had made my mind up already, I know I made the right decision. :)
    Sometimes we just have to go thru an experience to learn, and I'm thankful I didn't waste too much time but still, it's not easy >_>

  • @oar-N-oasis
    @oar-N-oasis Před rokem +1

    "Being robbed with the best that you can be"
    To become a mother and to be a wife.

  • @tfkdandsvkc
    @tfkdandsvkc Před rokem +3

    Kevin please do a video on being rejected everywhere am from a narcissistic family but also society rejects me alot I feel like am such a outcast with no supportive family please am lost I need people around me who uplift me I did the Myer Briggs personality test and I saw am an outcast personality aka infj can you do more videos about social rejection and spirit of rejection?????

    • @joanharder2124
      @joanharder2124 Před 11 měsíci

      I come from a narcissistic family background. It’s been a process for me. Seek out another family (of choice). As you grow and change if you outgrow that choice of family keep moving on. That’s how I have done it. A couple of people have stayed with me. I’m still unraveling as I’m on 2nd marriage that I believe married to a narcissist again!! Would Al-anon, or Acoa help you? It’s helped me a lot. Lot of other people are in your (and my) same shoes. Hugs to you!

  • @natalietaylor2009
    @natalietaylor2009 Před rokem +3

    I divorced 5 years ago. I think my suffering since then was not from leaving but from having been in a narcissistic relationship in the first place. I do not think I’d been better off staying with the narcissist. At least I have a chance to live my own life without being under the narcissist’s rule, and I feel safe in my own home.

  • @ShadaeMastersAstrology
    @ShadaeMastersAstrology Před 10 měsíci

    By far the most useful information I’ve come across thanks

  • @user-wj7lp7ok1l
    @user-wj7lp7ok1l Před 2 měsíci

    Perfectly said, divorce is awful. As they torture you and lie to the courts. While they are living with mental health and a full blown sex addiction while my son had no insurance.
    Gained a new subscriber excellent video.

  • @Asherons
    @Asherons Před rokem +1

    I came from poverty. My wife hired me as a low level employee, then a few years later we are married. She's insane. She's also rich. I say "she" becuase she controls the money. Look, I'm 37. Shes 44. She has been gaslighting me for 8 years. She humiliates me. She lies and watches me burn. I have to get out. If I live in a cardboard box, I have to get out. Since I've been married I've been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses. I learned it was all her fault for what she did to me for almost a decade. I dont know if i can forgive her. (she admittied in therapy, she lies to me every day for years)

  • @vivianeprudentiabuelens9142

    Yes for sure ✔️ 0:00

  • @tamid2225
    @tamid2225 Před rokem +1

    My ex-husband emotionally wrung me out. Financially draining me, frequently throwing our young family under the bus. I filed for divorce. Next thing you know, I find child porn on his computer. Guess what the church did, tell me how much of a shitty person I was for divorcing him . Fast forward a few years later, I found out he is working in psych and is dating one of his patients. Both things I reported, nothing was done. Now he is looking to become a licensed professional. Over my dead body he will!

  • @proudmoon3
    @proudmoon3 Před rokem +1

    Divorced a narcissist, and after several years, I am NOT more happy...BUT, I am a lot LESS miserable!

  • @ArleneBrant
    @ArleneBrant Před měsícem

    I am 61 dont have a job and new in the state of UT. I only asked for 15k just to get out of his house.he already has someone els..

  • @aprilkilroy7405
    @aprilkilroy7405 Před rokem

    Married 28 yrs...little to no physical contact. I have no education or money to leave. Plus I have multiple chronic illnesses

  • @Texaslonestargal
    @Texaslonestargal Před 10 měsíci

    Yes, it’s better, if you can ever get out of it. My narcissist held up the divorce for 5 years.

  • @krisfeller3188
    @krisfeller3188 Před 10 měsíci

    this one resonates with me .. thanks

  • @justfree694
    @justfree694 Před rokem +2

    I have more respect of women, especially with children that leave their abusive husbands/boyfriends even if they don't have any means, especially in these days where you can find help more easily.
    It's much better for children to grow up without an abusive father and get the love even just from their mother and other family members, if any, than women staying in an abusive relationship just for the status of being married and be with a man that they think is powerful and a pillow of their community or has money, etc, just in order to look good and keep up with the Joneses.
    These types of women treat their husbands like gods and choose them instead of their children's wellbeing, never mind their own's.

  • @SavedByJesusHeimatLiebe
    @SavedByJesusHeimatLiebe Před rokem +3

    Which is why ALL we need is Our Redeemer and King Jesus Christ whos Peace and Joy in Life superseeds ALL Things, He gave us HIS Holy Spirit also called Spirit of Truth who also consoles and guides us wiselly.

  • @stevenkovler5133
    @stevenkovler5133 Před rokem +3

    I am dying ! I filed divorce against her and moved out. Then we got back together. I know it is because I am trauma bonded to her. I am also physically and sexually addicted to her. I almost brought her on a trip I won to Costa Rica , but I brought my son. Now all I keep doing is ruminating about, “ oh, she would have liked this , or , wow we could have had seggs here , or , everyone would have been checking out how sexy and beautiful she is..
    I know divorce is the real answer, but also the fact that I rebuilt her body, now for other men !
    I am going nuts … I feel like I don’t want to live without her. That everyone else is making me divorce her…
    What do I do! She is 14 years younger then me and I am going to be 61!

    • @queenesther4142
      @queenesther4142 Před rokem +2

      You have to start putting yourself first. Get a note pad. Write down all the pros and cons. Look at the relationship from start to finish. Take inventory of everything that happened during the course of the relationship. How did it make you feel? Was the relationship satisfying, or dysfunctional, toxic, full of stress etc. Does the bad out way the good? Is the relationship wrecking havoc on your health.? Do an inventory and listen to your gut. What is it telling you.? Then think about your life. Life is short, time is precious. Is it worth being with someone who doesn't make you happy and treating you well? You are also addicted to her. It's like a drug. You're going to have to figure out a way of weaning yourself from that drug. It can be done. But you're going to have figure out what you want for your life. I hope this helps. God bless!🙏

  • @Sylvieanjouben
    @Sylvieanjouben Před rokem

    Powerful empowerment 👍

  • @ArleneBrant
    @ArleneBrant Před měsícem

    Am I intitle to half his retirement fund after only 7 months of marriage?

  • @Annagametv
    @Annagametv Před rokem

    This is really good

  • @minnesotajude8447
    @minnesotajude8447 Před rokem +2

    What about fertility? Women’s time frame is different than men’s. Most men are better providers when they’re older, so they prefer to date younger women because of fertility. Not all men, but most women seem to date older guys for resources and security.

    • @kitgohre6104
      @kitgohre6104 Před rokem +4

      You are complete as you are. I have had to give up not having children but there is much more to me than that.

  • @tintina2753
    @tintina2753 Před rokem

    Thank you 🙏🏾

  • @shariegrignon7590
    @shariegrignon7590 Před rokem

    ❤truth serum. Thank you so much.

  • @vivianeprudentiabuelens9142

    IN BELGIUM 🇧🇪MEN GET AWAY 🏃 OF FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR THERE CHILDREN “BYE BYE JUSTICE “ !😊 14:33