Why Is It Hard To Get Over Someone Who Doesn't Care About You? - Rusty Shackleferd

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  • čas přidán 27. 07. 2024
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Komentáře • 416

  • @DatingLogic
    @DatingLogic  Před 3 lety +5

    Book A Consultation - datinglogic.net/consultation/

  • @elissar3580
    @elissar3580 Před 6 lety +656

    so true. sometimes fantasy makes us forget the person's true colour.

  • @theonetrueking3612
    @theonetrueking3612 Před 4 lety +356

    and sometimes we stick with the memories of when they cared before they stopped caring

    • @LPFSuleyman
      @LPFSuleyman Před 4 lety +9

      that's exactly what i am going through right now, i removed someone from my life less than 30 minutes ago and already miss that person but i know what had to be done was for the best.. the interest on eachother was getting weaker and weaker and i could predict how it was going to end so before i end up with broken heart i had to do the dirty work myself and cut the ties down myself.. but it truly does sting you painfully when that person used to care about you more often than now but things arent going the same way it used to

    • @svasianfilipiname6603
      @svasianfilipiname6603 Před 4 lety +17

      If they can just stop caring just like that it means they NEVER really cared to begin with!

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 Před 4 lety +12

      When they pretended to care.

    • @Rosa41450
      @Rosa41450 Před 3 lety +3

      Actually we just remember the good, period. ._. .... like wtf mind??

    • @mrclapz1488
      @mrclapz1488 Před 3 lety +10

      Yeah it suck. This year i went thru the toughest breakup i went thru. The girl i was dating just chose to walk away and left me and I accepted it but i checked her other profiles and she was talking bad about me and started dating other dudes, i totally saw her true colors and she wasn’t a good person and probably never loved me but cared for the feelings i gave her. She just ditched me and basically told me i wasnt good enough. Never had a girl do that before so it’s tough. 4 months later and i still feel hurt for being abandoned after 2 years of great memories. Life goes on so whatever ig

  • @RachelleBalan
    @RachelleBalan Před 8 lety +520

    it's all in your head

    • @kielanderson4447
      @kielanderson4447 Před 6 lety +9

      😐🤦👎

    • @kielanderson4447
      @kielanderson4447 Před 6 lety +6

      Rachelle Balan moron

    • @sherrib4168
      @sherrib4168 Před 4 lety +9

      It's all in your head
      I'm gonna remember that the next time a guy shows interest in me, and he's serious, I'm gonna tell him, it's all in your head.
      (I'm gonna point to the head between his shoulders)

    • @thestarofhopesinging
      @thestarofhopesinging Před 4 lety +7

      Agreed , we love the stories we made in our heads and got attached to lies

  • @JaimiLG
    @JaimiLG Před 7 lety +239

    wow so true. we create this fantasy of what could've been even though there was no guarantee in the first place.

  • @toscadonna
    @toscadonna Před 7 lety +348

    You also have to let go of the lies they told you about loving you, wanting children, marriage, etc. They said these things to inspire these feelings in you, and once you feel that way, they leave. You must see through their words and look at their actions.

    • @SR77736
      @SR77736 Před 6 lety +19

      Exactly. It isn't just the ideas we had. It was the hope or.lies they created that we believed. Their actions that were just breadcrumbs but not.consistent.

    • @Ivy285
      @Ivy285 Před 6 lety +13

      tosca donna People who lead others on in that way are major losers and in some ways, the world would be better off without them.

    • @snaffa4000
      @snaffa4000 Před 6 lety +4

      Wow this happened to me

    • @yareliiopez3880
      @yareliiopez3880 Před 6 lety

      True af

    • @yareliiopez3880
      @yareliiopez3880 Před 6 lety +3

      He wanted to marry me to early wtf

  • @sardonyxz
    @sardonyxz Před 8 lety +171

    So me right now ... So so me.... It's been more than a year....I hate that I'm not the one who just doesn't give a fk

    • @zsss-k7x
      @zsss-k7x Před 7 lety +8

      sardonyxz me too 😢

    • @learnsfi2422
      @learnsfi2422 Před 7 lety +1

      How do you feel about it now? Did you move on?!

    • @mbattle8965
      @mbattle8965 Před 6 lety

      sardonyxz this excatly how I feel

    • @StillAtMyMoms
      @StillAtMyMoms Před 6 lety +2

      I'm in the Year Club now too. Why did this one hurt so bad?

    • @budhrajarahul3
      @budhrajarahul3 Před 2 lety

      @Alireza Mfn I want to share my story. So I met this girl at work and I instantly had a crush on her as she was not only cute & hot but at the same time she was smart & a performer along with social skills. This really made me fall for her.
      We started talking to each other and over a period of time became close friends at workplace and everyone knew this that we are best of friends. I also used to flirt and tease her and we used to make plans to hangout.
      Finally we met and spend 4 hours around the city and texted for another few days. Slowly I realised that she started drifting away from me.
      Initially I didn't acted needy and kept cool but then finally I called her out that why we are not the same like before to which she replied that her bf doesn't like all this and hence we cant be the same friends like before(yes I already knew she had a bf but by then I already had feeling for her and I risked chasing her).
      Now we don't talk anymore as she didn't take initiatives in the convo and I stopped texting her.
      My point is you can see that not only I was physically attracted towards her but also had a good bond with her and also had spent one on one time with her.
      These things really make difficult to move on .

  • @SuperRobieboy
    @SuperRobieboy Před rokem +6

    At some point you don't even think about that "person" anymore. You've just become in love with a vague representation of what that person at some (short) point in time meant to you - which could really just be a representation of deep love or wanting to be loved in general.
    I wish I saw this video before keeping this dream machine rolling for over a year and making myself completely addicted to it. Its been 4 years now and even moving to the other side of the globe doesn't make it go away - she shows up completely out of nowhere and I don't feel like I have conscious control over these thoughts anymore (sort of like PTSD but the loving kind?)

  • @Shaunteetalkstv
    @Shaunteetalkstv Před 3 lety +16

    It's worse when the person sold you the dream

  • @AlejandrooTheGreat
    @AlejandrooTheGreat Před 5 lety +78

    Something tells me that we have all been "Rusty" at one point or another. And if you haven't felt this way before...well lucky for you.

  • @maxwillson
    @maxwillson Před 8 lety +193

    Feel disappointed they missed out on a good opportunity. Look at them like a homeless person, feel sorry for them but move on and don't give them change.

  • @nrmricc4561
    @nrmricc4561 Před 7 lety +183

    ITS SO HARD TO MOVE ON

  • @eliseaguirre2886
    @eliseaguirre2886 Před 8 lety +269

    I needed to hear this, I'm currently going through the same thing, and have been before with other men, but this time I deleted him off all social media when he began to post himself going out on dates with someone else, or him dancing/flirting with another woman. It still hurts because I really liked him, and I know I'm a good woman, but just like all the other times, it left me feeling like what's wrong with me?!

    • @sskub1290
      @sskub1290 Před 8 lety +39

      I know how you feel
      - had exact same experience yesterday .. Realizing I was only being played for a fool all these months

    • @GT-RTData9
      @GT-RTData9 Před 8 lety +44

      Exactly, it hurts when you realize it, especially when you felt the feeling was mutual from their mixed signals. My current situation again unfortunately.

    • @marcopolo3241
      @marcopolo3241 Před 8 lety +49

      Hey... Don't feel bad, I'm going through the same thing! It's so good to see someone who can actually relate... Stay positive :) if he wants you bad enough, he'll make it really obvious. I believe God has a match for everyone. Stay positive!!!!

    • @eliseaguirre2886
      @eliseaguirre2886 Před 8 lety +4

      +Marco Polo thanks Marco, your right, and I agree, you keep your head up as well!

    • @eliseaguirre2886
      @eliseaguirre2886 Před 8 lety +8

      +steven white keep your head up, the pain won't last forever, eventually we overcome it, learn from it, and move on to better!

  • @Michael_black777
    @Michael_black777 Před 4 lety +10

    it's hard when you find out they only like the things you do, but not you 😔

  • @kiringuyen
    @kiringuyen Před 5 lety +21

    Besides feelings, I think it can be something with rejection. People normally can’t handle rejection very well. They will hang onto it until they accept that rejection is actually normal. Not everyone is gonna love you and care about you. You are the one who do that for yourself. I’m actually in the same situation & I’m working on self-love now. It’s hard and sometimes I felt lonely and craving for attention so much that I ended up texting my ex. It just left me heartbroken again and again. I can’t do it to myself anymore. Self-love is not an easy work but I need to do it!!!

  • @steezinhardasf
    @steezinhardasf Před 5 lety +18

    Black don’t crack!!! This guy hasn’t aged at all

  • @SugarcoatedChainsaw
    @SugarcoatedChainsaw Před 2 lety +3

    I hate how no amount of logic or understanding can make the hurt go away. I'm in so much pain. I gave nothing but love, and yet I was left isolated by my ex.

  • @uncrnblood24ub65
    @uncrnblood24ub65 Před 2 lety +2

    Recognizing its the imagination I’m creating with this person when in reality he doesn’t care anymore. Doesn’t express his love anymore is cold. I need to open my eyes and wake up !!!

  • @Kimeikus
    @Kimeikus Před 9 měsíci +2

    This actually makes a lot of sense. The feeling is never actually bad in the beginning. You have fresh interactions with the person in the beginning which trigger your imagination, and it genuinely feels like you have really found the person for you.
    The feeling only starts to become painful when it’s just left there with no reciprocation and it starts becoming clearer and clearer to you that your imaginations don’t conform to reality.

  • @svasianfilipiname6603
    @svasianfilipiname6603 Před 4 lety +14

    I think it's because we VALUED the other person. Also the end of the relationship like they said, takes a hit on our self esteem!.. I think the trick here is to get into a relationship where the other person VALUES you more than you do them hehe!...Okay okay, EQUAL value!...

  • @sweetandsimple.
    @sweetandsimple. Před 8 lety +71

    You knocked that out of the park 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @NickBolanda
    @NickBolanda Před 2 lety +4

    Going through the my first heartbreak after 6 years together. I think the hardest thing to accept from all of this is the fact that she knew me better than anyone else, my true self, and she chose to walk away and that I wasn’t enough for her. It makes me feel unlovable and worthless even though I know I’m not. I miss her everyday but I still want her to be happy and live her best life. I just don’t know how to do that yet without her and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I have to let her go

  • @mrclapz1488
    @mrclapz1488 Před 3 lety +4

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept failure and loss as a natural human being. You can love someone so much and it still doesn’t mean they will love you like that back. I had to learn the hard way watching someone i loved change and leave me behind like I meant nothing

  • @cindymohammed204
    @cindymohammed204 Před 6 lety +54

    I know I have to let go but it's so hard😭😭😭

    • @cindymohammed204
      @cindymohammed204 Před 5 lety +12

      I let go😭😭😭

    • @YoUrLoVe902
      @YoUrLoVe902 Před 5 lety +1

      Cindy Mohammed good for you

    • @mrclapz1488
      @mrclapz1488 Před 3 lety

      Just know they potentially left someone who was the best fit for them but they selfishly chose to neglect you in the moment of choosing something else over you. They gave up on you and told themselves they can have better and now they have to lay in the bed they made forever over a spontaneous decision that costed them you as a lover. Show them with actions of how good you actually were and how they messed up and fumbled a great person!

    • @DARK-bj1ob
      @DARK-bj1ob Před 3 lety

      Its been two years how was it? Did u make it??? 💙💙

  • @eclipz4129
    @eclipz4129 Před 4 lety +7

    The damn pain of having a obsession is unbearable it’s feels like it’s impossible to move on, it feels like if you do move on you will be depressed, lonely, and that person will still be on your mind. I tried moving on and it ain’t working, I can’t be happy. Why does this stuff have to hurt so bad, it isn’t fare.

    • @AntwhaleNearfar
      @AntwhaleNearfar Před rokem +2

      You’re right. It isn’t fare. It’s fair. Fare is what you pay to ride a bus.

    • @eclipz4129
      @eclipz4129 Před rokem

      @@AntwhaleNearfar You know what I meant…… Typos happen. 😑😒

  • @jamest681
    @jamest681 Před 2 lety +4

    You thought they felt the same way about you that you felt about them and they did not. When you really like someone and are excited about being with them, you feel they experience those feelings as well. So the first time you see your crush flirting with someone else right in front of you, it's a total reality check. If you wish to remain friends with this person you need to see this person as having a different role in your life instead of romantically. Otherwise, it is going to hurt too much the times you are with this person and they are checking out other people right in front of you. Also, it will be obvious that you are upset. That's the only way you can remain friends with a crush who is not interested. For your own mental and emotional health, the more you can walk away from the romantic feelings towards this person, the healthier the relationship you can have with him/her going forward. Mourn for the relationship you thought you could have and become excited about the new relationship you could have going forward.

  • @test1test219
    @test1test219 Před 2 lety +3

    That is what hurts. At some point you thought it was real and reciprocated and when you find out the person didn’t care enough to stay, you tell yourself it was all in your head that they ever cared to help yourself get over it and you made it all up and that is what makes it hurt that much more.

  • @Gio-m
    @Gio-m Před 3 lety +14

    It really does hurt . So fucking much. To me it hurts even more when you know that person is capable of love , you know they can love someone else, but that someone just isn’t you. 4 billion people on earth and for some reason, you’re not the one. That’s what hurts me. It hurts me that there’s someone out of those 4 billion people that she’ll be willing to give a chance. That she’ll hug, kiss, and talk about her deepest thoughts. That someone isn’t me. Why do I have to have these feelings? Why did I ever have to meet her? She’s out there probably looking for that person and I’m over here crying like a pathetic loser . I do my best not too, yet my heart always wins. I hate this so much.

    • @cristian9447
      @cristian9447 Před rokem +1

      you doing better, bro?

    • @Gio-m
      @Gio-m Před rokem +4

      @@cristian9447 Hey man thanks for asking. Thankfully I’ve gotten a lot better; she still comes to mind but not as bad as when I wrote this comment. What’s helped is immersing myself in hobbies, joined dating apps ( for me it’s helped to see how many more fish are in the sea), and meet new people through meetup. In hindsight it’s kinda good it didn’t work out lol

    • @fantasiazplatkami
      @fantasiazplatkami Před rokem

      Happened to me now, I fell in love with a guy, chased him a bit until I saw him hitting on another lady, whhich made let it go and break contact. But I miss seeing him, cant deny.

    • @Kimeikus
      @Kimeikus Před 9 měsíci

      “It hurts even more when you know that person is capable of love. You know they can love someone else, but that someone just isn’t you.”
      Hits so hard. 😞

  • @hsanc72598
    @hsanc72598 Před 7 lety +77

    I needed to watch this video. This is exactly what happened to me. I created all these visions of me and her together in my head that I got so carried away and fell in love with the thought of us someday being a couple that I was left oh so heartbroken when she started to ignore me and began dating another guy soon after. I was addicted to the thought of us together. I need to forget her.

    • @t_challathagod172
      @t_challathagod172 Před 6 lety +7

      Hector Sanchez same here and the guy is probably not even ny calibre but I still ask myself where was I lacking? Shit hurts... Makes you feel worthless

    • @brahimlh2909
      @brahimlh2909 Před 5 lety +2

      @@t_challathagod172 i think girls are such a complicated beings though ive never been in a relationship before. Just from a few interactions i say theyre so unpredictable dont know what they want and like to manipulate guys minds, which shouldnt be done with every guy especially those who are super nice and friendly but used and abused by girls

    • @t_challathagod172
      @t_challathagod172 Před 5 lety +1

      @@brahimlh2909 how do you manage to stay away from relationships

    • @brahimlh2909
      @brahimlh2909 Před 5 lety +2

      @@t_challathagod172 im lucky if i maitain a friendship status just switch your focus to other things that will make u feel good about yourself be hardcore watch some mike tyson 😂

    • @t_challathagod172
      @t_challathagod172 Před 5 lety +1

      @@brahimlh2909 🤣🤣🤣 true that

  • @lydiamerritt1174
    @lydiamerritt1174 Před 6 lety +15

    While this is true, it's not always in your head. In my case we were together and the Interest was mutual for a long period of time. Now things can change, but it is not always the case where you just imagined something happening.

  • @rachelramirez7654
    @rachelramirez7654 Před 5 lety +3

    These comments are proof (for me) that we’re wired differently. It’s not easy, again for me to just drop someone. I do exactly what he explained. I get a rush from thinking about what I think we’re going to be. He IS NOT CHECKING FOR ME.

  • @bugattibarbie4370
    @bugattibarbie4370 Před 6 lety +14

    I cried through this whole video Its been 8 years now I'm still waiting for someone to be what I dream of them being damn..... I gotta go 😴

  • @butterflyqueen9260
    @butterflyqueen9260 Před 8 lety +27

    I needed this 4 years ago! he is so right!

  • @christophermichaelrodrigue1738

    you hit everything spot on. really good advice.

  • @nerlandes2800
    @nerlandes2800 Před 4 lety +4

    Wow! Thank you I’ve been struggling it’s like a battle but very painful experience. I know GOD will restore me

  • @martinesakulku6546
    @martinesakulku6546 Před 5 lety +4

    practising non attachment helps look at situation rather than sinking into The Emotions

  • @LoveNaisa
    @LoveNaisa Před 8 lety +11

    This is so true. I need your videos to survive the dating world 🙌🏽

  • @JoeDiGiovanniIV
    @JoeDiGiovanniIV Před 6 lety

    You have no idea how much i appreciate being able to listen to this

  • @lindadominic8176
    @lindadominic8176 Před 3 lety +1

    Who still watching these videos today 2020?! So clear, sincere,direct ,true and to the point. I like your talks and they helped me alot. Thank's 🙏👌👍

  • @claysiecross7518
    @claysiecross7518 Před 7 lety +31

    You are freaking amazing

  • @sskub1290
    @sskub1290 Před 8 lety +2

    Needed this great advice today after realizing I was dealing w a player yesterday ...thank you for your compassionate advice

  • @adrianstamps6105
    @adrianstamps6105 Před 6 lety +3

    I’m going through a very deep crush and this is just what I needed to hear...I definitely don’t wanna be heartbroken!

  • @legolasgrof
    @legolasgrof Před 7 lety +2

    This is phenomenal sir! I have never been in a relationship. There was one girl that I liked throughout highschool and college and when I awkwardly asked her out finally, she ignored me. She dated a bunch of guys and never gave me a chance. I have thought about her for two years now and even though we haven't spoken in years I still feel a deep connection and strong attraction to her. I know it's all in my imagination. The less I think of her the better. Thank you for this video! Awesome advice!

  • @mariashutter4587
    @mariashutter4587 Před 6 lety +27

    I really appreciated this video, there is not enough on unrequited love; particularly for females who fall into the 'friendzone'/no feelings returned.
    I liked how this advice can be used females who are experiencing rejection. Hope to see more on the topic.

  • @RS-ct6iw
    @RS-ct6iw Před 2 lety

    I have to say this is probably the best concise message I have heard about this. What he is describing is sort like a love addiction. I suffered with this for 6 months after ending a toxic fling. I was creating visualizations of me and this person I could not get them out of my head. It is like you become addicted and get high on thought of this person. I think a strict no contact is the only way and to consciously be self aware that you are thinking of them and actively try not too. Think about something else or do something that occupies your mind.

  • @diycaitlyn7721
    @diycaitlyn7721 Před 6 lety +5

    I'm 13 I can't believe I've been falling for him for 5 yrs I just love him so much he always ditches me but still stares at me 😭

  • @sleepywillow6641
    @sleepywillow6641 Před 3 lety +1

    Wow you are right on the money and it hit my soul so hard. Thank you so much for being a voice of reason today. I needed so badly for someone to tell me to wake up 😔

  • @xw6475
    @xw6475 Před 4 lety +1

    Best answer and advice ever!! This is really helping me, thank you so much!!

  • @Mina-tt9kd
    @Mina-tt9kd Před 3 lety +6

    Sometimes it happens when the person you were in a relationship with, was highly manipulative and just used you for example money, favours and in order to hook you, they love bomb you with compliments and faking the future, they tell you they will marry you, travel the world with you and will describe in details how your life will be with them etc and deep down you hope that the imagination created by that person will come to pass. But then they never stick to their words and you believe that you did something wrong because their actions are not matching their words. Sometimes it is very hard to see, that the person you love so much doesn't care a tiny bit about your well-being. So we tend to rather day dream about their fake promises instead of facing the truth and move on. I fell for a scammer and took me four years to realize that he pursued me out of his own interest. It was after I listened to my gut instinct that I finally broke up and now with some distance I realized I have made myself a fool believing his beautiful lies.

    • @bessk8847
      @bessk8847 Před 2 lety

      Which country was he from ?

    • @Mina-tt9kd
      @Mina-tt9kd Před 2 lety

      @@bessk8847 he was from Ivory Coast

    • @bessk8847
      @bessk8847 Před 2 lety

      @@Mina-tt9kd ok i thought maybe jamaican!you ment him online or in person.

    • @Mina-tt9kd
      @Mina-tt9kd Před 2 lety

      @@bessk8847 I first met him on Facebook, he sent me a friend request, but I also met him in person and travelled to Africa twice. The first 8 months he sent daily text messages, video chats etc, very charming and romantic and he was a good listener. He didn't even ask for money, but then he started to complain about money and guilt tripped me to help him out. Small amounts at first, later on, he demanded more and more money and he was never satisfied , it was never enough for him. He ignored or insulted me whenever I couldn't sent more money..
      If you think of someone in particular coming from Jamaica, there are websites where you can find romance scammers. Be careful when money or favors come into play, he might not be serious about you.

    • @bessk8847
      @bessk8847 Před 2 lety

      @@Mina-tt9kd This sounds familiar he was trying to.get u attached and earn his trust they listen to learn about u especially if ur vulnerable. You visited him how was in person my scammer turned out to be abusive crazy !we should have a chat !☕

  • @neftaliriverajr6767
    @neftaliriverajr6767 Před 5 lety

    Amazing advice, seriously I was in Rusty's dilemma an thnk God I'm over it. It took me time to get over those emotions an sometimes memories of feeling those powerful thoughts etc will try too come back but I overpower it better. It does take time an effort to overcome those heartbreaking feelings but it can be done, I'm a witness to it. Thnks for your advice in explaning why those heartbreak feelings come about! Thumbs up!👍👍

  • @shadownitealx2
    @shadownitealx2 Před 8 lety +34

    lol omg rusty shackleferd thats from king of the hill dale grible lol

  • @BeastModeSteven
    @BeastModeSteven Před 5 lety +1

    Facts After Facts Glad I Found this Channel helps a lot

  • @jbasti227
    @jbasti227 Před 5 lety +1

    Thank you so much. This is the kind of content I was looking for and exactly what I needed to hear right now

  • @leahhayes8256
    @leahhayes8256 Před 3 lety +1

    I also believe we hold on tighter because the thought of never experiencing it again… Even though we know it’s no good or not even going to work.

  • @violetlune72
    @violetlune72 Před 7 lety

    Omg so dead on...thank you for shedding some light!

  • @charliechaz1982
    @charliechaz1982 Před 7 lety +14

    It's sad because it took me 10 years to fall in love again after being stung before. I met someone and i fell in love. I couldn't have them because they were already in a relationship, but i felt a real connection nonetheless and we got on so well. I never planned to start an affair so didn't. I decided i just wanted to be around this person because of the incredible personality they had. I loved them, literally everything about them. I just wanted to be friends with this person and was planning for a long term friendship, but with modern social media things seem to have deteriorated. It's hurting bad. You are absolutely right about creating scenarios in your head....My dream was to spend the day with this person at a funfair or theme park the romantic 'day that never ends'...Just as friends you understand, but even that now appears a long shot. Great video though, you speak a lot of sense...I don't know where to go from here...I've known this person for 2 years and been in love for all that time. We seemed close friends but are now drifting apart.

    • @marcc5353
      @marcc5353 Před 7 lety

      Chris Knight wow i can relate 2 almost everything u said. u connect w them and it feels good. but sometimes u maybe just arent what their partner/friend would look like.....they just were too nice to actually say it. took me too long to realise that.

    • @budhrajarahul3
      @budhrajarahul3 Před 2 lety

      Oh my gosh exact same situation..had a crush on someone and became close friends with someone only to realise that she is already in a relationship..only difference is I still gave it a shot and asked her out..we spent 4 hours together and one week later I expressed my feelings ..she told me politely that she is already in a relationship..and it won't be righteous for her to meet me again..slowly and slowly we started drifting apart ..she never ghosted or ignored me but the convo were not like before and at last I offered her friendship..she said now its not possible to be friends like before as her bf is getting insecure about it.

  • @ladennayoung2939
    @ladennayoung2939 Před 4 lety +1

    Because we choose not to let go of what you thought they were to you.

  • @yasminkhatun9995
    @yasminkhatun9995 Před 7 lety +6

    i dated someone for 2 yrs then he suddenly dropped and ghosted me. he was always the one who never wanted to break up then just left

  • @bettycooper9383
    @bettycooper9383 Před 5 lety +1

    Thank you handsome,,, You're so right,,, So true,,, It's painful but it's the truth we must face😢

  • @kitthecat6543
    @kitthecat6543 Před 7 lety

    EXCELLENT! you should have the most subs for a dating channel because you get straight to the point, no other stuff, you are intelligent! I'm unsubbing all other relationship channels!!!

  • @fjsukje8
    @fjsukje8 Před 7 lety +1

    Amazing explanation ! Love your videos really helpful

  • @hateandsmile4553
    @hateandsmile4553 Před 6 lety +12

    but i didnt imagine anything he was telling me that we would do so many things in the future and i believed him

    • @SR77736
      @SR77736 Před 6 lety +3

      hate and smile right! Sometimes they lie and you realize they're not going to follow through.

  • @krestenjucutan7549
    @krestenjucutan7549 Před 5 lety +12

    Ive like this guy for 3 years he never ones like me back and he knows i like him i even asked him if he likes me and he doesnt he’s such a nice guy snd sent me a sweet paragraph telling mr he doesnt like me but he didnt sugar coated me he just said he didnt like me in the a good way he didnt straight up said i dont like you (hard to explain)he’s in my class this year he tries to talk to me but i feel uncomfortable bc im trying to stop liking him but ik that if i start talking to him i’ll fall even more it’s like there’s a wall between us and i cant break that wall neither can he.for so many years ive like him there are times i think i dont like him but i still think of him so like idk if i still like him or if i dont like him and just miss the idea of him...

    • @milenajimenez2
      @milenajimenez2 Před 5 lety +1

      omg! this is exactly what is happening to me! I feel your pain girl!

  • @mya-amorlenin6627
    @mya-amorlenin6627 Před 8 lety

    yaaayy!! i thought you stopped making videos!! Glad to see you.. love your work!!

  • @k.j.8341
    @k.j.8341 Před 7 lety +1

    I needed to hear this. Thank you!

  • @rubikscube6722
    @rubikscube6722 Před 3 lety

    All so true! Hard pill to swallow, but crucial in order to move on

  • @aliciam7774
    @aliciam7774 Před 8 lety +4

    I´m noticing many of the most liked questions have already been answered in previous videos.

  • @Eye2C33
    @Eye2C33 Před rokem

    Such words of wisdom… another term I’ve come to learn is trauma bonding.

  • @user-uu7tb7oj9i
    @user-uu7tb7oj9i Před 7 lety +10

    This is exactly what happened to me.
    Thank you

  • @scottcjmckelviephotography

    Thank you so much for this information.
    I think the big mistake I made was that I went through a continuation of events and wrongly let time _'just'_ be the healer. This video is really helpful. Problem I was going through and a recent event was that I tried to get over someone I really liked a lot last year, eventually all came to a crashing end and then I came across someone else whom I took a liking to, she seemed interested with all the flirtatious stuff, but turns out that was apparently just part of her nature. My anxiety and depression due to low self esteem led eventually to her deleting and blocking me on Facebook and now it's difficult because the meetings I go to she may eventually turn back up at those. She says she's not going back, probably because of me, but I ruined it because of my stupid negative thoughts and anxiety.
    What hurts is that she shows currently that flirtatious attitude to someone else there and she had somewhat distanced herself because I was direct in telling her I like her. I guess because of past experiences it's why my anxiety kicked in.
    Anyway, I began reading Psycho-Cybernetics recommended by a friend, (great book for anyone interested in how our minds tick, highly recommended) the book gave me a lot of realisation, although I can't pretend I'm still struggling to get over this person in my mind. It is true, I suppose this video brought a realisation to me that I created so much in my own mind of being with this person, that potential and that has caused me this trouble. However, in my defence the first night she saw me she hugged myself, said she was sorry for certain small thing on Facebook and asked where I was from and that she would like to see me alone sometime. Why did I let my mind run free? I guess I thought too far, too quick.
    Anyway the Psycho-Cybernetics thing helped me realise that we have the power to control our minds, the negative thoughts in our head are what trigger the negative feelings and it's about shutting those out and only thinking about the positive thoughts, the moments in your life that made you feel good about yourself. I'm still trying to tackle this problem. What is also tough those 'friends' at the meetings on my list are 'her' friends, you get the point, it's not healthy, I don't know what to do in that situation. I lost my previous friends so have none to turn to and the little friends in person I had were those at the meetings.
    Forgive me for the long comment, but I would like to think that it's helpful to others going through what I'm going through. What I learned from the book and elsewhere on CZcams is about the self-esteem and that is what I'm working on so hard for _'myself'_, the past 10 years I let myself go because of incident, after incident and reading that book helped me look back and think _'what is it that is causing me to feel down about myself.'_ Well for me, my appearance, being out of shape, not being what I once was. From that I have now got my gym membership and this year I'm working towards a goal that will empower me to make me feel good about myself, apparently goals can trigger positivity and lift your self-esteem. So yes, having that goal makes me think positive, feel positive, resilient is probably the better word.
    Overall though I get my down moments where the negativity props up, it's difficult, will that die off when I'm fitter again and feeling positive about my appearance, or will that negativity still linger? Anyway, this video hits home a realisation and is true when I think about it, I was sadly letting my mind run wild helps me sit here and rethink things. Thank you!

    • @XA--kp2lj
      @XA--kp2lj Před 6 lety +1

      Scott CJ McKelvie wow very interesting story ! You are a strong man. My girlfriend of 2 years recently discarded of me like I was garbage. After 2 years of having a deep relationship I'm pretty messed up mentally and emotionally depressed. I'm reading books though and I'm trying to recover. The goal isn't to dig our hole deeper but to learn and build ourselves up with positivity ❤️

    • @budhrajarahul3
      @budhrajarahul3 Před 2 lety

      Its so true that we lose all those mutual friends between us and her as we don't want to recall old memories..that is why having a crush in your group is so bad..if things don't work out, you end up losing everything..

  • @chelseawren8251
    @chelseawren8251 Před 8 lety

    Thank you! Exactly how I've been feeling, and it's time to move on

  • @jinnykhin5978
    @jinnykhin5978 Před 5 lety

    Amazing talk. Thank you for this video :) it helped.

  • @AlxRayn
    @AlxRayn Před 7 lety +3

    Great great video this helped me so much

  • @tylerlumpkin8869
    @tylerlumpkin8869 Před 7 lety +1

    This helped so much thank you.

  • @chrizmarkdeasis7761
    @chrizmarkdeasis7761 Před rokem

    Because we keep on living in a fantasy world of our own because of the happiness that we get from there and almost forgot what's happening in reality.

  • @peacehallelujah4856
    @peacehallelujah4856 Před 8 lety

    This is outstanding! Thanks so much.

  • @joelvarelajr6495
    @joelvarelajr6495 Před 3 lety +1

    Actions speaks louder than words.

  • @parisryan2012
    @parisryan2012 Před 7 lety +1

    This is so helpful 👏🏾👏🏾

  • @Joelbrandan
    @Joelbrandan Před 8 lety +1

    Just had this happen. This is straight forward. Thank you so muchz

  • @bak6194
    @bak6194 Před 6 lety +2

    Wow!! Good stuff!

  • @l3arn1ng2l0v3m3
    @l3arn1ng2l0v3m3 Před 8 lety

    This is spot on!

  • @arnoolve
    @arnoolve Před 6 lety

    Thank you, thank you so much this video opened my eyes a little better now 😢

  • @sukhjitsohal1502
    @sukhjitsohal1502 Před 6 lety

    I really needed to hear this out, I've imagined stuff for 6 years now. It's gonna be really hard cuz I still truly really like her and she's never been bad to me we've always been really good friends. I still am lost and have no idea what to do

  • @stevemellin5806
    @stevemellin5806 Před 4 lety

    You're right . thank you Have a great weekend

  • @zakariatartibian6033
    @zakariatartibian6033 Před 5 lety

    Great video! I just subed, keep making helpful videos. Thank you :)

  • @sanqlier3213
    @sanqlier3213 Před 5 lety

    Thank you! Your video helped me a lot💜

  • @zakmira05
    @zakmira05 Před 4 lety

    Well said, I needed this video

  • @martymchckn3914
    @martymchckn3914 Před 4 lety +2

    I actually kept telling myself exactly what you're saying. I was waiting for my ex to be this person who gave their all to me but I was left with not even partial. Very little phone calls, only saw him once a week if lucky and in text I tried so hard to get to know, him asking him so many questions cause I was excited but he didn't do the same, it was like he wasn't even interested. I guess the thing that confuses me is that after I broke it off, he wanted me back but then he wasn't doing anything to even win me back. He said he loved me and he liked the way I was and that I was there for him... I don't understand because he wasn't there for me and that's why I wanted to be friends, so I could still be there for him cause I care about him. It's over now because I explained everything that went wrong or that was wrong from the beginning and he said that he was done because I made a big deal over something small, I didn't like his response so I just let him have the "I had let that person go" moment I had to be the dramatic one because he wasn't going to change. Guess we're not even friends now, I just feel bad because I care about him, I wish I didn't but I do and I hope time will heal me. And I hope he changes and doesn't hurt anyone else.

  • @missblackamericanewyork3947

    damn I needed that, thank you

  • @Sweetheart888_
    @Sweetheart888_ Před 8 lety

    needed this so much thanks

  • @sohaibali3600
    @sohaibali3600 Před 3 lety

    Dude!!!!!!, really i love you , i loved your way to explain and convey

  • @bleu1306
    @bleu1306 Před 6 lety

    This hit me in the gut! Thanks! I need ed this!

  • @AdamJukes
    @AdamJukes Před 5 lety

    Awesome advice! Thank you so so much

  • @nv3tter
    @nv3tter Před 5 lety

    You make very good points

  • @mialiamialia5821
    @mialiamialia5821 Před 8 lety

    This was great, thank you

  • @fallonkeravillafana1812

    START LETTING GO OF THAT FEELING 💯.

  • @kattaylor6182
    @kattaylor6182 Před 8 lety +3

    This video has helped me a lot and relating to me 100%. The question for me is. Can you be friends with someone who doesn't care about you if you do let go of these feelings?

  • @omerdeniz5672
    @omerdeniz5672 Před 6 lety +4

    Why does this hit home soo hard

  • @capriciouscode9420
    @capriciouscode9420 Před 5 lety

    Your advice really applies to my case thanks

  • @matthewblackwood768
    @matthewblackwood768 Před 5 lety

    I'm really thankful for this video tbh I was really depressed I was in love with my gf and she didn't care and she left me for some other dude and I hoped that one day she'd come back but she won't and now thanks to this video I'm grateful that I can finally move forward and hopefully I can find a gf that will feel the same for me