PARENTING STYLES I DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO | PARENTING TECHNIQUES I DO & DON'T AGREE WITH
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 7. 09. 2024
- Parenting Styles I Don't Subscribe to and Parenting Techniques I do and don't like. I thought this would make an interesting, chatty video. Thank you so much for watching and supporting my channel x
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Q: Where is your accent from?
A: I was born and raised to Toronto, Ontario, Canada but moved to Essex in England when I was 14 years old. Hence my mixed up accent.
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A: I worked in Marketing and PR but I now focus on my vlog full time.
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A: I have been married to Matt for since 2009, he is the love of my life! We have three sons - Fraser (born 2010), Caleb (born 2013) and Jackson (born in 2016).
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THANK YOU for not making your kids eat everything on their plate! Thatâs one of the main reasons why i have disordered eating, everything you said is completely true at least in my case! Even now i still struggle with leaving food because of this mindset and it means i really struggle to be healthy! X
đ Thank you speaking out Gabriella. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Hi Emily, your parenting style is pretty much the same as mine. Re food... I'm in my early 40s and as a child my mum and stepdad made me clear my plate (and I knew better than to argue with my mum or stepdad). I swore I'd never do it to my own children and I never have, as experience taught me just how psychologically damaging it is. I appreciate that different families have different parenting styles but this is something that I feel very strongly about. Xx
I don't make my kids eat everything on there plate they have at least got to try it if they don't like it that's okay
I have the same problem. It's even worse since having kids because I tend to eat whatever they haven't and it seems like it's going to waste đ„
I also struggle, I leave the plate clean, it's worse when I am at people's houses, I feel like I don't want to waste.
Peaceful parenting is another style of parenting that all parents or parents-to-be should look at into. It includes "taking responsibility for regulating our own emotions, so we can stay as calm as possible with our children." It is so important because our children model our behaviour and how we communicate.
Emily I definitely think you would fall under this type of parenting as well..
Cheers :)
Janet lansbury has been my inspiration for parenting style. đââïž
I am not a parent but just a suggestion - my mum tried hard to be calm, never shouted or argued in front of us, just gave herself space when she needed. It was lovely but I've grown up having trouble dealing with negative emotions from others and becoming stressed very easily.. She was also too tolerant with problems in her marriage and ended up with a painful divorce after avoiding confrontation for too long. I'm not sure how I'm going to balance these 2 approaches with my own kids when it comes to it..
@@indy2316, Peaceful parenting is a lot more than just being calm, there are various aspects to it. Being calm refers to not taking out your frustration on your kids, communicating to them. For example if a child has a tantrum, in the moment stay calm and after talk to them about it. Peaceful parenting also advocates no corpal punishment. It is really big on communication, both from the parents and as the child develops, helping the child learn to communicate. It is sad that your mum endured a difficult marriage and never spoke up for herself and avoided confrontation. By improving our communication and modeling that for our children we show them how to talk about a frustration or problem without screaming or yelling. This is not perfect by any means and parents and children loose their cool but it is something we continue to work on. Also standing up for yourself and being able to communicate is something all parents should teach their children, and I don't think this is omitted by peaceful parenting, it just complements it.
Your mum sounds so wise and seems to have brought you up brilliantly, which you've obviously carried through to your boys. I would love you to do a video more about your childhood and how you were brought up/her advice she gave you and general pearls of wisdom
Why doesn't Emily have 1 million subscribers yet?? Her videos are so informative and she's so lovableâ€ïž
Youâre so bold to make a video like this because of how controversial the subjects are & how real mom wars are. Thank you for being you and being strong. You are the best! Itâs refreshing to hear someone who is gracious about their views. We all may not agree on everything but we can still share things with eachother. đđœđ
I love your mum so much , such an intelligent , mature and calm person â€ïžđâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïžâ€ïž
I feel grateful to have watched you parent your boys since before my first was born. You are poised in your parenting and I sincerely appreciate your parenting styles you share. I have encouraged art with our almost 4 year old everyday, he gets absolutely filthy outside and honesty, itâs so worth a few minutes tidying up afterwards. Thanks Emily
đ Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Most people who âunschoolâ still find ways to incorporate math, language arts, etc but they just try to centre it around topics their children are interested in, as well as having them learn those skills through real world applications. Math would be learned naturally via cooking/baking, budgeting, etc and reading would also be learned via reading books on topics that interest them. They say concepts learned through play only need 20 repetitions, but concepts learned through traditional methods like worksheets take up to 400 repetitions. I think the family you watched wasnât unschooling in a typical way, I know several unschooling families and their kids are all on track for math and reading đ
Thatâs exactly right, donât think we should be making an opinion based on one example and also not seeing the full picture or never being around family like it. We have HE in the pass and seen many families who unschool, and the kids developed many skills school children didnât even experience at the age.
It seems like only the most extreme cases get media attention.
This is what I came here to say :)
I agree. My friends who unschool have a child of eight who read all the Harry Potter books within two months. The way it's presented here is not really balanced.
As someone who was unschooled for all my school years (4-18 years old) I would really not recommend it. I found it so hard to learn without structure
Breastfeeding isn't for everyone but also some can't! I couldn't, but still think that me and my son got the feeling of being very close and safe and in our little love bubble, but with bottle feeding.
Love this Linnea. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
I couldnât, and both my kids are VERY attached to me. Fed is best.
I have a 19, 17, and 14 year old, and yes went by the book on my son but when I had my two daughters was more relaxed, I agree with everything you have said it makes life more easy and you will have a better relationship with your children. Your channel will be the first and only channel I will subscribed to. X
Parenting can be difficult but is very rewarding.
Videos like this are so useful especially on raising awareness on different types of parenting and the effects. Also for parents teaches balance whatever their technique or routine is
Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
I agree I donât have children of my own yet but Emily you are a wonderful mom and you have given me so many ideas of things to research especially things Iâd never heard of before so I can make informed decisions when the time comes!! I love your videos!
This was such an interesting discussion. I donât really know my style but I found myself nodding away to you. I have four children (15, 4, 3, 1) and a baby on the way. I totally agree with you on the importance of supporting your children with what direction they want to go in. My children are all so different x
Totally agree regarding mess, it doesn't take long to clean up, if it keeps them happy doing something which causes mess (in moderation) then it's fine đ I also agree about not lying to my kids, I'm quite an open book anyway and very honest. I dont know whether it's because I'm an older mom that I'm more chilled and related with my kids đ x
I'm a mum to 2 boys and i'm always really honest with my boys too and always tell the truth. The Santa conversation was had with my oldest and was difficult but I would rather be honest đ„° I love your positive parenting style đ
That Santa chat was probably one of my least favourite moments of being a parent, it broke Matt and I. But I feel we have made an important strong connection with Fraser as he enters a different stage of his childhood. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe Michelle xx
Don't feel bad about it. It could be worse. I remember a moment when I was a kid, must have been 7/8 years old. A classmate told the teacher and the whole class her mom and dad just told her Santa (and the easter bunny and all other Saints that come and bring presents) are just your parents and they don't exist. I still can remember all the faces of the kids that did not know that and the terror on the teacher's face when she tried to calm the kids. I personally was pissed at the kid (who was my friend) to have told it out loud. I told her it was't her place to tell this, but I also told her I did understand why she did that. It was the truth and she had knowledge she wanted to share.
Hi Emily, just wanted to mention about our experience with EC(elimination communication). EC is not potty training, these are two different things. We did EC with our baby from two months on and we never forced or made her do anything that wasnât natural to her. We just became very attuned to her needs, and just like when you know your baby is hungry we learned to recognize her signs of when she needed to go. And you are totally right itâs not always convenient or practical. For example we did a combination EC at home and cloth diapers when she was at daycare. She was never confused and never had any kind of issues potty training later on. We had great experience with it and would recommend to those who are curious to try it, it does save quite a bit of diapers and laundry loads. We also had a quite an easy transition out of diapers at 19 months, again no forcing her into it, she just gave us lots of signs that she was ready and took us a couple of days to transition. I know thatâs considered early in western cultures but quite common in a lot of places in the world. That is absolutely not a judgement on anyone, every kid is different and circumstances are different. Parenting is hard enough without that, as long as the kids are healthy itâs not that important what potty training approach their parents take. Much love to you and your family, I love your content! Thanks for spreading such positivity always!â€ïž
So interesting to read Svetla, and nice to read first hand people that have actually used it. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Hi Emily! Most of japanese kids go to the school by themselves at the age of 6. If they live in big cities, they take public transport by themselves. In this case, our parenting style is free range parentingđđŁ
Japan is a very safe country. That's not the case here in the UK, it'd be child abuse to let a 6 year old ride public transport alone, too many drunk people around and druggies
I'm an attachment parent so much! I still love to baby wear my 7 month old, my son who's 4 still comes for cuddles in my bed in the morning and at night. I'm such a laid back mum, we have got a mud kitchen, play doh, really like watching my son enjoy the outdoors! My sons had to deal with a fair amount, like being teased at school for dancing and swimming but its all about learning. They'll never learn if you hold onto them too much. Obviously he tells me if someone's been unkind but we discuss about how he feels, how he should react next time. I feel like I learn from him too. And I used harnesses for my son as I'm hard of hearing so if its busy roads, shopping centres, it meant he was secure and safe and able to walk whilst I could do normal activities. I'd like to think I'm truthful with my sons. He's not asked about santa, but it'll happen at some point. Such a great watch, I've been watching for about 3 years now since having my eldest as you always give amazing tips. I would love a video on your childhood vs your sons growing up now, things you did, that they do or wouldn't do. What shaped you into the mother you are today to them. Would love some background info, feel like we know you now but not from before CZcams x
Let's get into this...
Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Yes Sisi!!!
@@mrsemilynorris You have to say no sometimes.
SisiYemmie....commenting on Emily Norris' video! Ahhh wonders never end oo. That is very coolâ€đłđŹ
@@kandacewalker848 fâŹ
I know an unschooling family, their 7 year old can build robots. If it is done right the children have sparked freedom and curiosity to learn. I can also be a term used to make lazy parents feel better.
Exactly what I was thinking! Since our world is so full of words and itâs really hard not to be curious how to read. Or learn math when going shopping.
I know a 6 year old who can Programm and read English as a second language because of Minecraft! Itâs so amazing
Being a mum to a SEN child. A lot of this goes out the window. Just do what u gotta do to get through the day?
May I just ask what SEN is xx
@@alexandraanderson4689 special educational needs
I can understand that x
Oh thank you god bless you and your child I hope everything goes well and all is easy as it can be xx
I work with SEN children and, If I may suggest, you should seek help from cognitive behavioral therapists. They will present you techniques That will help you cope with your child specific needs and help you set goals for your child (what the child must learn, how to behave better, etc). Wish you the best
The first time I saw "elimination communication" was at my neighbor's house. They were carrying their baby around without a diaper and it was making me so nervous. So I asked, "Aren't you afraid that she will poop on you?" My neighbor laughed at me and took the baby to the sink, turned on the water and the baby peed in the sink. I was amazed! They are from India and said it is normal there because diapers are expensive. It isn't a new concept but we gave it a name and made it a trend. đ
Ha love this! Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
I am from India(live in the Netherlands now though) and this is true especially of the previous generation..now though diapers are easily available and inexpensive and lots of people use them. I think this method of course works if you have the time and energy for it but for example if both parents work etc its not so doable!
@@mrsemilynorris I did "part time EC" when we would be home and not when we were out and about and it worked great! and by the time my little boy was 5/6 months he sat on a potty to poo and would only do it there because he did not want it on himself so never changed a dirty solid poo diaper. Believe it or not he actually learned how to sign language for when he needed to go to the potty before he was verbal...so by the time he was 1-1.5 we went completely diaper free day and night. It worked well Emily : ) p.s. I'm an American living in Italy...
I'm Indian as well and followed this for my daughter since her birth. By 6 months I could identify when she wanted to use the potty and by 9 months she could tell me when she wanted to go. But peeing was an issue, she could tell me when she wanted to pee only around 1yr9m. She's two now and completely potty trained. The reason I followed this was because my mother-in-law was absolutely against diapers, they being plastic and not good for the skin, but I did use cloth langots.
Glad to hear you say about not making your children clear their plate! Soooo much research shows that division of responsibility works when it comes to eating - you decide what is served and when, they decide what they eat of that meal and how much đ
Youâre a great mom Emily!! Thatâs what it is about being truthful to your kids I have done the same with my daughter, she is 17
We have very similar styles of parenting!!
I agree with you 100% & have the same views. If it helps, my girls are now 24 & 34 and these beliefs we share have created wonderful, responsible adults!
My youngest is still at home, finishing an RN program. We had out of state family over & right after dinner, she jumped up to do dishes without being asked. Her uncle asked how we accomplished that. She answered âI know whatâs expected & respect my parentsâ I could not have answered better!
Thank you Emily for being there for me from the beginning of me becoming a mum at age 24 and that was 5 years ago!! You were the first mum I ever watched on CZcams and I learned a lot from you as a mum! I really appreciate your videos and I just wanted to say thanks again!!
As a parent off two children (15 + 1 ) and a nursery practitioner itâs so refreshing to hear about such great up to date parenting. I find a lot of parents are stuck in their ways and just follow how they where brought up but there is so much more new research out there about food, play and boundaries. Thank you for sharing x
Hi Emily, I have a 10 year old daughter and a 8 year old son, at the beginning I looked up dozens of parenting styles, I noticed over the years and pretty early on that I wasnât able to stick to any parenting style in particular because both of my children were so very different and react very differently to the same things.... iâve found myself adapting my parenting techniques regularly depending on the child and the situation. So far so good!..... I never went through the âterrible twoâsâ with either of them, they have never once had screaming fits on the floor, no hitting, theyâve never said no to me (yet! đ ) or defied my decision, they are genuinely nice kids (the worst thing they have ever done so far is argue between themselves) the only thing that Iâm keeping consistent is ensuring open communication and trust between us. For me personally the only parenting style that I would advise is observing your child and adapting your parenting method to the individual, consistency, open and honest communication, be firm when needed without agression or belittling. So far so good!
I have been subscribed to your channel for years now, you were my go to when I was pregnant. my little boy is almost 3 years. Your my go to mom for advise and life skillsâ€ïž
Iâm not a mum but if I was one, I would be a lighthouse parent too. Be confident in your parenting. Teach and guide what is good and right, and then let your child govern themselves. Eventually, over time, the child learns and will grow. Very insightful! Thank you for covering parenting styles.
Hello Emily, thank you for another video. Interesting indeed... i am a mother of 4.. 3 girls aged 18 and 10 yr old twins and 16 yr old boy..
I believe that the success in parenting is consistency. We can't expect our kids to juggle around our moods, our necessities, etc...
From my experience, I had to discipline myself on this and of course I do believe that children benefit most. It helps to be more confident and stable and also helps them to look before they leap in their every day decisions.
Honesty is very important. The world is loaded with lies so I guess, as parents we definitely owe it to our kids, to tell the truth. It is a bonus that will help them as they go along in life but most of all, they will be more opened and willing to take in the truth even though it will hurt, offend, break but it will set them free...
Also, I pray over my children especially when they are out of reach. I know that they are precious to the Lord and so I speak over them the blood of Jesus for protection and I release God's angels to encamp around them. This gives me rest.
Parenting is a blessing and a challenge.
Hi Emily, Like Gabriella i have struggled with this clean plate drama. we could not leave the table until everything had been eaten and my mother especially was incredibly angry and aggessive about it that we did not like meal times at all. I am 57 now and if i am given a plate of food i will eat it all, no matter what it is or how much it is and it wasn't until i was overweight and diagnosed with diabetes that a nutrionist put the pieces together. Now i eat meaningfully... well i try to! And it is really hard. I had no idea how much i disengage from food when i eat, it really is a matter of just getting the whole thing over and done with. I never made my daughter clear her plate and her attitude is so different from mine.
I love you watching you guys, you make me feel that the things I did with my daughter were the right things done out of love and not fear. Laughing should be the main sound in a family home, not crying. Thank you!!
This video has encouraged me to try and be even more intentional with my parenting
Yes to the nap advice!!!! I was so anxious about this with baby no 1 but now with no 2 less so. Also we have the same 3 year gap and no reigns also. Great video
I was exactly the same re attachment parenting. ..before having them I couldn't imagine breastfeeding for over a year or co-sleeping, but as soon as they were born it felt sooo natural to do those things.
Beki x
Hi Emily đ€ i am a mom of a 12 years old daughter. Thank you very much for this video, made me think about a lot, specially now when the motherhood is a bit hard for me, my girl change a lot this year , phones, internet, friends, hobbies and so on. I've watch you from long time and i subscribed to you in the beginning of this year, your recipes and your style won me, so thank you so much đ€đđ€đ
Definitely believe in the honesty thing 100%! Always told my kids the truth â„ïž
Thank you so much for watching and stay safe Nour xx
This was perfect Emily - Iâve never really considered the type of parenting approach Iâve gone for but naturally Iâve adapted how I was brought up... a combination of nurturing and positive discipline to my day to day parenting. Weâre navigating delayed speech so things are a little different at times â€ïž
This has been fascinating. In regards to the elimination communication theory look at Miryiam Blaniks (The Big Bang actress) she did it and describes the process really eloquently. Iâm not doing it but it is fascinating.
Thank you for being positive about all of these methods in some form but chuffed to bits that you support your attachment parenting, extended breastfeeding and positive discipline. I never expected to be that kind of mum but 16 months on have found myself falling into it and now passionate about it. Taking that advice to limit the word âNoâ as exhausting hearing myself say it so much now sheâs into everything! đ â€ïžx
Hey professor Emily. Iâm a mom of 3 too & We are VERY VERY similar in our parenting methods đđŒ I have 2 boys 10 & almost 13 (going on 16!) lol and a baby girl 17months. I find it easier when theyâre small. I struggle when they are older and the questions start but I too prefer to be honest and from experience it really does gain respect from them. Your mom did a fab job with you and your sister your doing great with your beautiful boys â€ïž I love the term lighthouse parent. That is definitely me! Itâs SOOOOOO hard to let them make mistakes but itâs how they learn. I loved this sit down video itâs nice to sit a catch up I sat here agreeing with you and say âomg me too!â đ like you can here me and we are having a girly chat lol
If you ever want to talk momlife Iâm here đ„° lots of love Jess xx
Totally untrue about unschooling! Donât let one wrong thing scare you into turning away from it! Definitely not for everyone, but has definitely helped so many families!
I 100% agree fellow mummy of 3 here, and Iâve patented them all so different as Theyâve grown, I was such to the book mum on my 1st however now Iâm so much more laid back, and I would rather my kids play with something for 10 mins peace and just clean up afterwards â€ïžxxx
Love hearing different parenting styles, ours are pretty much the same!After all they grow so quick, Iâve just been filming my daughters 5th birthday today for my channel and this has made me realise how much my parenting style has grown! My sons nearly 10 also and Iâm the same with the napping, 9 years on, 3rd baby is 1 month old and Iâm so much more relaxed about it! đ
I'm so similar to you in our parenting styles, especially the attachment parenting. I once had a comment saying 'isn't every parent attached to their child' but you'd be so surprised! Not everyone is so intuned with their needs xx
I definitely agree with your points. I do use rains though, I have 2yo twins hahah Setting boundaries with understanding and kindness is what I tend to do. Iâve read lots of books on âgentleâ parenting e.g. âthe calm and happy toddlerâ toddler calmâ âcalm parents happy kidsâ âthe whole brain childâ (probably my fave) and currently reading âthe gentle discipline bookâ . Iâm always striving to be a better mum for my kids. I can totally see that in you too. Love your content! đđ
Yes Emily, this is EXACTLY the video I've been hoping for. From what I see on your vids I love your and Matts parenting style. We have a 1 year old and surprisingly to us attachment parenting has become the norm, will have a look into lighthouse parent now thanks. Would love to see a video on how you disaplin the boys, they always seem to get on so well but there must be some rows?! Xx
Same here!
Plenty of rows Natalie!! But they do get on really well which as a parent, there is nothing better to see. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
I think that study on clearing your plate at dinner definitely rang true with myself as Iâve always struggled with my weight and my plates were always full - Iâm not complaining in any way because it was good, heathy food but it does make you wonder... đđđž lovely content as always, thank you Emily! X
I love that youâre saying that itâs just your opinion and not that everyone who doesnât do it like you is doing it wrong đđ»
Very interesting video âșïž never heard of so many parenting styles! I always let my daughter play messy too, she only sticks to one spot in the house and sheâs happy playing for about 20 minutes and she helps me tidy up afterwards :) Iâm very much best friends with my daughter however, I still have to show her whoâs the parent when it comes to certain things so she doesnât really get away with a lot of thingsđ I do think independence is great, especially from an early age! I hear of people in their 40âs whoâs parents still cooks, cleans after them and even does their washing for them! Thatâs definetly not going to happen when sheâs older.
"Kids eat in color" on Instagram gives great tips regarding not making children eat everything but lots of other great tips for fussy eaters etc.
She's my favourite
Messy play is soooo important!! Children learn through play and learn important social and emotional skills like this. Nap times are a hard one in our house, my son is 2 he is almost ready to give them up. Some days he won't. But he is heavily medicated so wakes up alot at night which isn't his fault. Lying to your children is such a big thing I want to be the mum that they come to instead of going to friends or anyone. Santa is a hard one!! My son will never be forced to eat all the food but he has to try. Taste buds change every few months so keep trying them. Definitely agree about unschooling. Never heard of this before and will look in more. Your mum sounds amazing fyi! Your an amazing mum and it shows through your boys đ
I love the phrase âpolite biteâ and agree. My niece was forced to eat everything on her plate & has always had a weight problem. She is now a young adult.
With our first daughter, I read books, by our second daughter I realized they are written only to make the author $$! I am a pediatric RN, so that has helped as far as being comfortable with caring for children.
âFree range parentingâ just sounds crazy!! (and, really insafe!)
I watched you since I got pregnant to my first child (2 years ago). Youâre my hero in my hypno birthing journey.. I watched your home birth video like a hundred times.
More power to your channel and please continue to inspire us all. đ
I really look up to you Emily and think of you as an amazing role model for parenting. I do try not to do that too much with influencers because it can sometimes lead to mum guilt and not feeling good enough etc, but I don't get that from you or with you. You never say things in a way that makes anyone feel inadequate. And therefore I see you as someone to be a guide and a role model rather than aspiring to change and be like you, it is a healthy inspiration. What I realised from watching this video is that my parenting style is very similar to yours anyway :). I always allow my boys to have messy play, I never expect them to clean their plates, I agree with letting children have some free reign but not to the stage that it causes any danger or somehow stops them from learning something valuable that they will need in life etc. I have always felt it is best to be honest with children in an age appropriate way, and I also told my 10 year old the truth about santa when he kept asking at that age. I just agreed with everything you said. And that's actually given me a boost, I half expected that I'd have to take notes from this but I'm pleased to know that I've done something right if I'm doing things similar to how you do! đđ.
I'm not a parent and don't really plan to be one, but I'm a psychology student at college right now and child psychology is a particular interest of mine. I have been taking a introductory child psych class this semester and we have touched on parenting styles but we did it as a group of non-parents, so it's actually really interesting to listen to a parent's perspective. I've found that watching your channel that I've learned so much about how children develop. Love your videos!
You are such a wonderful person and clearly love family. With great respect, I do believe you don't clearly understand unschooling. I felt similarly until I saw my children gravitate toward this type of learning and then did my research. It is truly not for everyone but presenting a balanced arguement is part of due diligence on ALL styles of raising children.
I agree with everything you said! I feel so good watching your video!!â€ïžâ€ïž
You are such a great mother!!! đ„°â€ïžâ€ïž
Unschooling can be absolutely wonderful, allowing your children to follow their passions at their pace free from pressure and compassion to others †if you truly want to understand how children truly learn I'd recommend the book "How Children Learn" by John Holt â€
I agree and unschooling is great for children who have suffered trauma in the schooling system. Unschooling also isn't usually a long term technique, it is used short term allowing a child time to find themselves and their learning styles, also allows parents to gain an insight to their own children. It can be a good foundation for homeschooling. Xx
I know a few who are unschooling and the kids are miles ahead of their peers in school so I suppose it all depends. There are always going to be an exceptional cases but knowing the other side of the story is so important. Maybe this kid that couldnât read had learning disabilities. Good to keep an open mind.
Very true Emily in especially the nap and food tips
Children are human just like us sometimes they are not sleepy or too sleepy you can't have full control on how tired they must be everyday and demand them to sleep to your own likings
food is also a big thing they do have likes and dislikes just like us adults
maybe they wanted to have something salty or sweet or maybe nothing at all
they just can't describe their feelings properly like us adults so no need to force them to eat
The word NO is also a big thing and works like magic
I have listened to this tip by you sometime ago I have tried it and it works like magic
also the child seems to be more respectful of their parent when they rephrase it
Ah thank you, interesting to read and good to hear some success. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Iâm currently learning about implementing Montessori style with my one year old ! Itâs very intriguing !
The Hidden Gem on CZcams is an amazing resource.
I love the Hapa Family!
@@AcademicAshley me too! that's how i learned about montessori in the first place. i love her videos and the kids are the cutest!
@@pollyrb8375 thank you! i've seen a few of her videos here and there :)
@@bdazzlefromage yes!! đ
This was all so fascinating to learn about. I think Iâm more in line with the âLighthouseâ parenting with my two boys, as well. Also, you are such a lovely person! I love your videos! đ
I think with the âreinsâ one, the mums who know why theyâre needed, are the ones who have Houdini bolters ;) my boys are all 3 years apart and we tried to get them to hold our hand or the pram 10 million times over but they were all bolters and its really quite terrifying, especially when you canât move fast enough to catch them (aka if youâre heavily pregnant). We totally would have used reins on ours but they escaped them! 2 of our boys could outsmart locks at childcare, could climb fences at 3 and bolt, and could get out to any care seat or device. We didnât teach them that, it was how they arrived. Some parents with children who have autism really need them as well, for safety reasons. Isnât a result of their parenting or lack of ;)
Totally agree. My son was walking at 10 months old and preferred walking than using a pram so for us reins was safer outside. I would rather my boys have that freedom walking than being in a pram xx
My little girl is under assessment for ADHD and has only recently been able to walk without reins ( she was 3 in summer ) she would 100% run out into the road/ away if you let her as she simply doesnât understand! Each to there own but definitely wouldnât work for us x
Yep totally each to their own :) I see 3 and 4 year olds still very happy to sit in a pram/buggy, my boys were way too adventurous and after 18 months or 2 they would flat out refuse the pram. All kids are different and I absolutely wouldnât judge a mum needing reins, she has her reasons! ;)
@@lisabarnwell8409 isnt it frustrating ? đđđ mine was out of the buggy at 18 mo cant keep up with him... well i try but jeez!!!
You're my mom hero!!! Just love love love your content and how open you are with us!! â€â€â€ keep them coming momma!!
My parents used to make me clear everything on my plate, I remember once I had to sit with the biggest bowl of chilli and rice in front of me until 10pm in the evening and i cried and cried because I wasnât hungry. :-( I would never force my children to eat everything on their plate. They know their needs better than anyone xxxx
Thanks for speaking out Rachel. Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Same! I used to get so sneaky about getting rid of the food when my mom wasnât looking! My kids are done when they are full.
So cruel, poor you. At least you are not repeating the ridiculous ritual.
That must have been an awful experience.
Ugh food trauma is real! Itâll stay with you!
I have been watching your videos for the last 4 years now and youâre one of the only mum whose advice I take seriously on CZcams and I have actually bought so many things that you recommended. So I just wanted to say thank you. Youâre the best and yes I am your subscriber :)
Brilliant honest video. I am a new mum of a 22month old and appreciate peopleâs parenting thoughts
Wonderful - we have very similar parenting styles. Gentle, calm and respectful but not submissive. I chucked my Gina Ford books in the bin!
We do a casual version of EC with our 9 month old. He is in cloth nappies fulltime, but at every change, before going out/naps or if he looks like he's making his 'poo face' then we sit him on the potty. I just do it to reduce the mess and washing. There's no pressure on him to use the potty. We are never negative if he does a poo in his nappy and when he goes on the toilet we just tell him he went poo poo and don't make a big deal about it. I would say EC is very different from early potty training as the emphasis is on the parents rather than the child to catch the poo. We are in the fortunate position that he is with my mum now that I am back working and she thinks its a great idea.
I think Iâm really similar to your style Emily.
So attachment parenting & lighthouse parent but my two are now 15 & 18 so my methods now are quite random đ€Ł.
I also do a zero demand parenting style (although not so much now my autistic child is older) and that involves not making any demands, at all! Itâs really hard to start with but for autistic children/adults and especially for those with with Pathological Demand Avoidance, zero demand parenting is really useful in many families.
Cool video Emily - very honest yet balanced.đ
Great video. Only watching this now in December but loved it. I think we parent in such a similar way â€ïž So true about the food - my 3 year old always tells me âmy tummy is fullâ when he had enough and I never ask him to eat more and I believe he knows whatâs best for him.
You sound like you lean towards gentle parenting/respectful parenting and Iâm totally into it đ
The only thing I donât quite agree with is getting your kids to do things for themselves so they âgrow through the struggleâ I personally donât feel we need to create unnecessary jobs/events for our children to âlearn to struggleâ the world is hard enough as it is (obviously much harder for some than others) and challenges will occur in childrenâs lives naturally when they do things like go to school, volunteer, play sports, work, etc. My Mom honestly registered my University courses for me (at least the first year) and booked my dentist appointments until I was like 21-and now I am a wife and mother, I pay all our bills, make sure our taxes are filed, book everything for our household, sons appointments, work almost full time, etc. I feel this is because I was given the support I needed at home to function in the âreal worldâ-by all means though if your children are wanting to do things themselves-give them the opportunity-itâs all about finding that balance đđ
(FYI totally not perfect-parenting is haaarrd-some days more than others! â„ïž).
I think researching unschooling more would be helpful to understand this. Or read some stories about how some children were never taught anything and have PhDs. Also how children learn. Your son doing gymnastics most of the day isnât a bad thing. When they are moving around they are learning.
Absolutely agree. I would recommend Emily read the book How Children Learn by John Holt.
@@user-wm7vt5rx8g yes and two books I read where they got their PhDs without stepping foot in a classroom or their parents teaching them was âWhere the Crawdads Singâ and âEducated.â
So interesting. Do you unschool? xx
@@mrsemilynorris I donât consider myself an official in schooler because I do follow curricula to an extent but I am child led learning and outdoor learning. My IG handle is @theoutdoorhomeschool if you want to check it out and see what itâd about. Essentially I made my own forest school for my kids because we donât have them here in Canada.
I was nodding along to everything you said Emily!
I do personally get my kids to eat everything on their plates but I give them a small portion, and they can have more if they're still hungry. It works really well and they always eat it happily because it doesn't look too much or too overwhelming! đ„°
Sounds like we share a very similar parenting style, perhaps it's a pisces thing (we share the same birthday!) âșïž the only thing I'm stricter on is naps. However that's purely because my girl is such a bad sleeper and will never snooze out and about (she'll pass out from exhaustion before willingly miss out on people watching in the pram). So having a set nap time at home seems to work best for her. Perhaps this will change with baby no 2!
I love this topic...thanks... I am interested to watch it till the end... I think your boys are so polite... I've been watching you for more than three years... I always felt I will be boys mom like you.. and 11 months ago I had my first son... I did liked to be a mom just because of you... u made me feel that the happiness is being a mom.. and it is the truth... wish you the best đđđ
Wow so lovely Ola đ Thank you so much for watching and stay safe xx
Love this video. I would really really love to hear in greater detail about how you explained Santa to Fraser! It would help us parents in a similar situation to hear what you said, and his reaction. Also having younger children (that might not be ready to find out) how this worked out. đ
I wish I could have a friend like you đ
Thank you so much for watching and stay safe Karina xx
I happen to agree with you on everything calling yes I said everything LOL. And my children grew up to be pretty cool grown ups. You know you've done a good job when your adult child has his own family and comes up to you and hugs you princess now I understand Mom. I asked him what did you mean part of being a parent is and how easy it is to love your children whether or not they're behaving for making good choices. And he said thank you Momfor caring and loving me enough to let me be my own person. Then you know you did your very best to raise a child. Thank you so much for today's video. God bless you..đ
Hi Emily I would say I'm a lighthouse parent but former helicopter parent đ. My son is nearly 11 and will be going to secondary school next year so I know he needs to become more independent so he can cope with that next big step. I really enjoyed this video and it's very interesting to see different styles of parenting and how influenced we are by how we were parented.
Emily your such an inspirational person i love your videos and I'm a new mom and a lot of your videos really do help me
Thatâs not unschooling btw, Iâm a home edder and donât unschool, itâs just not my fit personally but many unschooled go onto to higher education x
Great video! So agree with you about naps, eating habits, attached parenting and just positive parenting! All the stressed time to plan the nap, make it happen, train and then wait around. If kids want to sleep, they will. Just like adults. Like any human. If kids are hungry, they will eat. They wouldnât only if they had way too many snacks in between, otherwise why wouldnât they. And free range surely is not a bad way to teach independence but simply not in our times, just sounds dangerous. I so agree about the mess Emily. Who cares, let them make the mess, they learn and feel this way. Whatâs a point of all vacuums and sprays etc. Home shouldnât be a museum. Thank you for your video. Love your parenting vlogs. Xxxx
I really enjoyed listening to you talk about all the parenting styles. My mom talks a lot about elimination communication, because shes from a third world country and she was only 16 when she had me. She really couldn't afford diapers, and a lot of the women around her as well. They potty trained us at a young age because they literally had no choice. I also know a friend from India who told me that's what she did with her kids when they were young. But they also understand that things are different here, and my mom even says if she could have used diapers she probably would of just used them. But it's crazy, now that I'm a mom of a 2 year old I have NO IDEA how she did it. lol!
Totally agree with being truthful to your kids !my parents told me nothing
This was a really cool video. It's nice to get other people's opinions on things as well as to learn the different ways of doing things that aren't known about. Wish I'd read this before my children were born.
1000% agree with the plate thing. I have overeating disorder and a lot of that comes from that! Also have you heard of 'bulldozer' parenting? There are a lot of parents like this and its sad.
Hi Emily, it was a great video and a very important topic you touched upon. I believe most of your viewers will agree with the parenting styles you also favour. As a first time mom, I got so many tips and tricks from you which I am grateful for. Keep up the good vibes.
On the clean plate thing I 100% agree with your point. I was always made to clear my plate. I remember not finishing a Sunday roast and being made to eat it for supper. I'm certain this is a contributing factor in my being overweight. I still finish my plate and often feel sick because I have over eaten
Thank you for this information, I didn't know any of it. Now a grandmother if I look back to raising my children (now 41 and 35) I think I was across at least 3 types of parenting. Talking about when your boys are older you are going to be a brilliant mother in law some day.
I don't even have kids and I found this so informative and interesting!
As a child of tiger parents, your sons are so lucky to have such an understanding mummy
Great video!! Please do more like this! I really love your parenting style and i admire how polite you are telling us you don't agree with something so delicate like parenting but without a single rude judgment. Me personally i struggle sometimes with the "be the parent, not the friend" maybe because i'm a single mom, 32yo with a very mature 11yo girl. Sometimes she act like she wants to be my friend and i have to remind myself that mother-doughter complicity is good but she still is just a child and i have to be her "lighthouse in the night". Can't wait for your next video â€ïž
I found you just before Xmas 2021 when I typed in Elf on the shelf ideas. Been watching through all your videos since!
I'm Beki, but my son has stolen my account name to make CZcams vids as he's not quite old enough to have his own channel. đ
You seem like a lovely, gentle, attached parent. I love seeing your renovations on your new house and it is so fun watching your relationship with Matt and your family of lovely boys.
Beki x
Agree with everything! I do all the things you do and makes me feel better about how I bring up my child.
I love this video! I would also be interested in the article you read. I appreciate how real you are and nonjudgmental of others.
Such a relevant topic for us we have a 16 month old and expecting in a few weeks. We are starting to have discussions on discipline styles and other parenting methods as behavior situations arise and change. I imagine with aging children and different personalities there has to be a good mix of styles. I love the lighthouse parent example.
I donât force my kids to clean their plates either. My dad was always left in the kitchen to clean his plate growing up and it did affect him in the way youâre saying, he never knows when heâs full and ended up developing diabetes type 2 and I do believe itâs because he was was always made to finish his food growing up.
Love your videos Emily long time sub â€ïž
It baffles me that only 45% of us viewers are subscribed! I look forward to your videos all the time, love being notified.
I feel the elimination communication is impossible unless your starting at your child 24/7 because if your not the baby is going to end up âeliminatingâ all over the place
You don't have to stare at them 24/7. Its definitely possible and is practiced in a lot of the world.
You definitely donât have to stare at them đ You can use nappies as a back still. We loved doing EC and potty training at 14 months. Couldnât recommend it highly enough.
I feel like I parent with exactly the same values as you Emily. The only different thing with me was the reigns as I have twins. I couldnât have managed without them! I donât think I wouldâve used them if I had one child though!