Women think men look for these things in a woman, but men actually DON'T CARE
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- čas přidán 4. 07. 2024
- Today I list out 10 things that women think make them higher value because they think they are things that men look for. But they are wrong, because men actually don't care about these things.
We are simply looking for someone to complement our life…NOT complicate it!
I want to look forward to coming home from work. Not to dread it.
Spot on man!
I'm sure Not Sure was president in some movie...
*complement
complement, please fix that
Beauty gets attention, character gets commitment
Spot on, very well said
Spending money on manicures and fake nails. As old as I am, I’ve never heard another guy say, “Wow! Did you see the nails on that girl!”
I have heard that said!
But it was in disgust, not admiration...
Well...I have, but not in a positive way...more like in a Yikes! manner.
Yeah. The long nails tells us that the girl is pretty much useless.
Very true. I also think that men care a lot less about women's hairstyles than women think we do.
As a whole, women dress for other women, not guys
As an older man something I have noticed as I aged, I don't like a woman who feels she needs to compete with her man to prove she is as good or better at everything, and disrespecting or scolding in public or in front of friends this goes both ways
Well said
Spot on Sir! I experienced all of this (and worse) from my ex wife...which is why she is now my ex. Women like that can really f**k your life up.
I married my wife because she was the nicest person I ever met, was physically fit and was not a wimp. 40 years later, and she hasn’t changed.
Well done and lucky you!
Where I worked there were some very pretty women, but they were utter b*tches.
There was one woman who was a little plain, a little overweight, but a wonderful personality. Her I found attractive.
Me too. 45 years now.
what's your point?
Feminine, fit and active, respectful, kind, supportive, high character, loyal and no games or drama. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be natural. Globs of makeup and anything fake are red flags. Women > don't lie to yourself !!!
AMEN!
Nailed it!
Add "agreeable" and you've got a pretty good set there.
Couldn't have said it better! 👍
Spot on. I’d add open warm friendliness and interest in other people, as just people. Yes, kindness especially to small children and the very old. This world needs more, much more kindness to one another.
Just celebrated 25 years of marriage...and I agree with all of these. FWIW, what men DON'T want: divas, psycho-babes , and women that want to severely change them. Also, if a woman is too much under the influence of their mother/friends/sisters, it's a big turn off. You may marry INTO her family, but NOT to be CONTROLLED by her family.
Feminist friends are the worst.
That's the biggest problem: women always talk and listen to each other whether or not it's true or warranted or not. Some girl in the friend group could genuinely like a guy, but if all her female friends and family try to talk her into thinking he's a creep, she's gonna believe them. I bet 9 times out of 10 if women just took the initiative and chase the guy (or at the very least don't let him know you're completely closed off to him at the same time) they'd find a sweet guy that isn't a monster for being lonely and sad about it. The sheer dehumanization of single men just creates this bullshit in women's heads that we're creepy because we don't attract women, when some women may find out less is more in this situation. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if Emily and chicks like the Dadvocate got their understanding of men so down pat may be because they dated the guy that wasn't that successful in dating. I've seen women in TED talks admit that they just gave the shy dude a chance and it opened their eyes to the fact that society treats men like shit. But when you're mother, GFs, girlfriends and sister are all convincing the shy guy she secretly thinks is cute is a monster. It truly is creating one of the most tragic chronicles in all of our entire history as a society.
Exactly, we marry the woman, not the entire family. We appreciate her family and may even grow very near some of them, but it is the woman we love.
I'm 55 and was married 33 years, but after the divorce, it was hard...women even my age want too much in a man, and your list is pretty much spot on..
I'm around 10yrs younger than you and never married. ex-miltary man. best choice I made. I don't have to 'strive to be successful' to please a woman who only sees me as an ATM
I've watched a couple of your lists and while Im older and in a very stable marriage of 27 years...you're nailing it over and over again...10/10 for getting in our heads
TOTALLY agree!
37 years here, same thing.
I find these videos informative and entertaining seeming to be a different word to the one I inhabit
Does she have character? Is she emotionally balanced? Is she reciprocal? I really think that's what really matters!
How many women are emotionally balanced, honestly? Very few.
@@larrybud How many people period are emotionally balanced? The answer again is very few.
@@williamerickson520 No doubt. Half the country is juiced on some sort of prescription drugs.
No women are emotionally stable
As always, you hit the nail on the head. We are simple creatures, don’t need the drama and gossip crap. We want her as she is.
Kinda I find it cute and funny when I hear girls (women) gossip and stuff (femiment) (emotions)
Couldn't have said that better! Most of us aren't that complicated, I wish some women would figure that out. Married 36 years.
I drove from Ft. Hood Texas all the way to Minneapolis Minnesota to get my wife. I didn't know if she would say yes to my proposal or not. Well 38 years later we are still married.
You not only won life’s lottery, you got a 🦄 , too.
Attraction, loyalty, intimacy, chemistry/connection. That's literally it.
You like lazy women?
Purity?
You forgot the main one, and that would be honesty
Back rubs
@@AlfredeBlome-df3sg Yes, but I believe that is derived from something more important, which is respect.
I'm going to say this with tongue in cheek, the ordinary girls are worth far more than the pretty ones, they work harder they care far more and most of all are grounded, loyal, and always have your back.
pretty women are usually insecure, often entitled, spoiled, demanding, unrealistic, have bad relationship histories, and high partner counts these days -- as they age and lose their pretty privilege, they can be hard to handle
Right? I've never been more attracted to celebrities than most ordinary girls that I've met. On a sidenote, I've also never been attracted to "queen" characters in media, but their servants or followers who are more down-to-earth? They are sometimes super attractive.
I'd take it one step further, the ordinary girls that know they are ordinary and are ok with it. The ordinary girls that cake on makeup and think they are beauties are the major problems. Or even worse... the less than ordinary ones that dont even try to improve themselves and think they are solid 10's just for existing.
The best are the pretty girls who don't realize they're pretty
Yes! Plain Janes are REAL. I meet and wish to date ladies by electricity, not looks.
#8 yes men care about a woman's past as it can be a good indicator of the kind of relationship we will be able to have (passed relationships romantically, family and work). Trouble past is usually troubled present. #9 Living situation... you glanced over this but yes men care about it. If she is messy, clothes on the floor, dishes in sink and unclean living, that's what we would assume it would be like if the relationship progressed further in our home.
That can definitely be red flag both ways, and it depends on how much you care about a clean place. It is very hard to live w/ a slobby person, esp. if that person doesn't even respect the cleaning that you do. It is usually more an issue w/ men. Though I've found that men will prefer a clean house, as long as they don't have to do the majority of it, and are willing to pitch in a bit w/ heavier chores.
I ignored these two things (8 & 9) and it was a horrible mistake. I ended up married for 21 years to an unstable slob of a hoarder who blamed everything on the world on me. She ended up cheating on me with multiple guys and turned $80k in savings into $36k in credit card debt. I'm WELL rid of her. How I wish I had trusted my gut in my 20s, I wouldn't still have to be working in my 60s.
If she was a onlyfans model most men would care and run the other way!
That was spot on perfect from my perspective. I have been married for 41 years and the ten things you mentioned fell by the wayside 41 years ago. Great job.
Fit, feminine, friendly. That's really all most men ask for.
“Too” fit is intimidating though.
Don't forget loyalty.
Are you fit too?
@@justsomeguy6133 I agree! "She can crush me with her thighs" is just a little too close to "Her hips are the murder weapon".
@@Yuru11 Yes, 100 percent.
I'm 5'8" 135 toned core and a hiker, amusement park/roller coaster junkie, sporty athlete, non drinker, non smoker, musician, and marathon runner.
I don't think being 5'8" and not over 6 feet should be held against me.
Things that make me avoid certain women:
1- Too much makeup. A little is ok.
2- Tattoos
3- Unhealthy eating habits.
4- Multiple relationships at the same time.
5- Brags about having a lot of men friends.
6- Sees men as a resource to control.
7- Over-the-top passion about a person or cause that dominates her life.
8- Wears non standard clothing, i.e. army boots.
9- Never exercises. Considers sitting on the couch devouring snacks an acceptable lifestyle.
10- Has a history of short relationships. Get's bored easily.
Nice list, well said
Tattoos! Yes, tats are a deal breaker!
This list is approved by the United Council of Churches, LOL
#5 is an iffy one. If she's more of a tomboy and is simply more comfortable around men but doesnt tease them or lead them along or sleep with all of them, thats actually a major plus. If she's just toying with them or friend zoning all of them, thats a huge red flag.
@@dalehammers4425 I dated a tomboy for a while in college, and yeah she had tons of male friends. It was clear that there was no romantic interest with any of them though, and they all actually seemed genuinely happy she found a guy. Turns out she was super insecure about her body (she was fit, not muscular) so it was tough being physical with her and it didn't last. I'm guessing she was body shamed a lot growing up, probably by other girls and maybe family members. She was a good person and had a great personality so I hope things turned out well for her.
@@hiflyer000 Thats a shame, those are usually the best women you can find.
I I would totally agree with your list. I left my wife of 28 years because she changed so many things that seemed to be her true nature while we were dating and first 10 years of marriage. Ladies, don’t deceive your man just to catch him. Eventually you will stop pretending and he will have a decision to make. I will never re-marrie because of all the crap that ends up being brought into my life. Take care Emily and continue to try to get through to all these women who are being “influenced” by all the Influencers on social media.
There's an old saying "Women fake orgasms, men fake relationships."
I've come to inderstand that it's women who fake their entire character and personality when dating, all in an effort to present themselves as the best possible catch. There's nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward, but it's an awful thing to be putting someone else foot concept forward, instead of your own.
And once the ring is put on that finger and the honeymoon passes, all the lies get dropped, the man finds himself legally chained to a practical stranger and socoety just berates him for being so naive that he thought the woman who claimed to be in love with him would be honest with him...
Your list is correct. Wow. It's not that we don't care as you point out is that we're willing to be supportive. If something makes you happy it makes us happy. We're looking for compatibility. We're looking for someone that cares about us as we care about them.
Her being a 10 out of 10 is subjective. It has more to do with what kind of person she is then what she looks like.
Than*
I will definitely chose a person who can write than/then/there/their/they are appropriately
She's a 10. Looks have part in it, but I'm 1 who cares more on personality than looks & her personality is what I wish I had in a woman. Her & The Dadvocate.
Yeah, in whos eyes is she a 10? If shes a 10 in her own eyes? Red flag.. stay away.
You are misunderstanding what a 10 is. A 10 is undeniably the most beautiful person you have ever seen in your life. a 7 can be subjective and 10 is a 10 or they aren't a 10.
Regarding the natural beauty, most often, it’s the humility of a woman embracing her natural beauty and confidence in herself plus her humble and genuine personality that’s attractive.💛
Kindness and gladness in the eyes shines so much brighter than any kind of artificial stuff put on top of the face.
All those things are true in a much simpler way. Honestly make-up makes you look more fake. And just less attractive. Just my personal thing. Great comment! ;) A+.
💛💛🕊️
You are consistently spot on with your observations and have given me a lot of self-confidence. Thank you for that!
I've been with my wife from the age of 18 to 48. She is my best friend, my partner in life, and best sex I've ever had. I would have to give you close to 100% correct on this list! Everything in your list is truly NOT what I care about in a woman. As an additional comment, I always thought my wife was absolutely gorgeous as a young woman, but I am honestly even more attracted to her as she approaches middle age. (I think this is only possible because she gives me many validating cues that she is attracted to me.)
Awe, you sound like a keeper too. All the best to you and your wife.
My wife and I have been together for over 30years. She was 19 I was 23 when we met . We are from completely different backgrounds and are complete opposites of each other. Neither one of us are perfect and we know it. We were together for 5 years before we got married. We have struggled at times with our relationship but we always figured things out only to make our relationship better. I think our best trait is we are a team and together you can’t stop us.
That is a beautiful thing man. Congratulations brother.
The key to.your success in your relationship is in the 5. Need I say more..
I’m recently single after a 20 year relationship.
This list is 100% accurate.
I’d even go as far as to say if a woman is wealthy or stereotypically ‘beautiful’ (in a kind of Instagram way), they’re more likely to be narcissistic, selfish or incredibly dull.
These kind of woman more often than not seem to be after an accessory to compliment their life rather than a partner
You been out the game for awhile.. They've been like that for a minute...
Why would you even consider an attention whore with an instagram-account? That one is on you entirely.
Outwardly attractive women never have to work on their personality or skills. They end up worse overall
Or an ATM to fund it for them.
TBH, when I look at "stunning" model types I just think they look like all work and no play. And in my far too-limited experience, really beautiful women are often not all that good in bed, because they've never had to put in any effort to snag guys.
Totally correct. A couple things to expand on:
Every woman is beautiful when she smiles at me. Makeup is irrelevant to whether she looks happy to see me.
Hobbies that are a bonus are baking and cooking.
Men very much care about her past to the degree that it affects the present. Most men ask the question, "Am I going to have to listen to her complain about her childhood for the next 40 years?" before they propose marriage.
Distance is tough because most relationships depend on proximity for their substance, and men are physically -oriented animals. Think about your relationship with your dog. It is entirely based on direct physical interaction - petting, feeding, opening doors to the back yard, taking for walks.
Playful : being able to have fun in almost any situation makes a big difference to me. So if your vacation gets rained-out, you still know how to make the best of it.
Things that attracted me to my wife.
Her kindness, her gentleness, indeed her over all femininity, her wit, her intelligence, our mutual love of fantasy and science fiction literature and music, and the fact that we're both classical singers, our amazingly scary chemistry when we met in person.
The fact that she's pretty, though not beautiful, has a lovely speaking voice, five foot tall, brown haired and small enough to carry definitely helped, but wasn't %100 necessary.
Things that made no difference at all: The fact that she is not interested in computer games (though she really enjoyed tabletop gaming when she tried it), the fact she likes crime fiction while I do not, the fact she was American living in Germany when I met her, the fact I needed to fly to America to get married, the fact that she literally had to move countries to be with me! (not to mention all the British immigration nonsense), The fact she was short on cash, the fact that she'd previously toured Europe as an actress and singer (I'm certainly proud of her, but it's not a necessity), the fact she is nine years older than me and had been previously divorced), the fact that she is a little indecisive, and often needs me to take the lead or sort things out. The fact she's physically not strong, both in the sense of picking up and carrying things, and in the sense of illness, (she often needs me to take care of her).
Also, the fact that she cannot have children, fortunately, I'd never wanted them, though in fairness this is the thing we probably discussed most and the thing she was most worried about.
wow! You're a lucky man! You struck gold! And it's awesome that you know it :)
@@markwilliams4489 Thanks mate.
Yeah, I'll be the first to admit, in my lady I've been hugely lucky!
Since the story of how we got together ticked more romantic cliché boxes than you'd believe, it really does feel unreal sometimes.
My lady is human, she definitely has her flaws, as absolutely do I, and I can't pretend everything's been plane sailing, though in terms of our marriage, and the old fashioned idea of having another person who completes you who you devote the rest of your life to, things have indeed worked out amazingly!
Yes that attracted me to your wife too!
I’m 28, unmarried and in the danger zone. I’m known to be fit, friendly, feminine and chaste but I didn’t prioritize relationships, just career. It’s crazy how older women keep telling me till this day to continue to focus on my career when they married their husbands by 24 with nothing at all. My parents are immigrants so I grew up seeing a successful marriage but my mom thought the American way was good? But she was so upset at herself for not directing me better. But it’s okay, I can still turn this around.
If it weren’t for these types of videos, I would have heeded their advice and who knows where I would’ve ended up down the road. Thank you !
Don't listen to your female friends or female relatives when it comes to men. Talk to men about men. Then you'll get an honest answer.
@@theeclectic2919 ...I would add: talk about men to those men who are not romantically attracted to you (and vice versa), but with whom you are friends - I agree, then that would get you the best possible advise
agree with both comments here
It's probably because American culture has shifted drastically in the last generation or longer, due to technology, the education system, and the financial status of the Nation as a whole. All of that has a profound effect on the quality of younger people by the time they reach adulthood. It's been mostly detrimental.
You can always end up like me, solidly into middle age as a male, and no relationship experience. I've not found females I consider to be relationship-fit, not for long range, nor share the same value system as I do. I'm also introverted so I don't get filled up by craving public.
Hi Ciana. Very interesting story. Can I ask what country are you originally from？
I am 77. You are 100% right about ALL of those items. I did a 2 hour round trip twice a week to see a really kind, engaging, feminine girl. We married 49 years ago, and now have three children and nine grandchildren. I have never regretted for one minute the choice I made. It was the single most smart move I ever made.
You're ridiculously spot on. So many boxes are checked off for me.
This woman has unlocked all our secrets.
We are a pretty simple bunch though.
Only a little minority of red and black-pill men in USA.. The incels.
Yup, we dont exactly keep it a secret... we are open books. Women simply dont believe it because they arent and cant imagine being so.
tbh I wish she'd make a similar video in the other direction, just to know all the things I might be tempted to think women want that they don't.
@@fathermoses1000the reason she hasn't is because they don't know.
Yeah, you pretty much nailed it. A girl I'm talking to recently told me she got a raise, and my attitude was, "Congratulations! You're passionate about what you do and you're good at it!" That's where it ends. I don't want to know how much. I don't care. I'm buying lunch anyway, because I WANT to, because I like her, and I want to make her happy. And the only thing I want from her on my birthday or Christmas is her company. Money is the very LAST thing a guy that likes you will care about unless you're an outright gold-digger or he's an outright gigolo.
You have no rights to know unless you're in a committed relationship moving toward marriage. "Talking to" is what kids do.
@@TheJpep2424 and I don’t care. That’s the part you missed. Men don’t care what you make. (edited for clarity) When people where I live say, "are you two talking?" It means you aren't really dating yet, but you're interested in each other. But it doesn't matter, because if I'm interested in you, I'm buying lunch.
Thank you for sharing. Everyone stay safe, happy 😊 and healthy. From Henrico County Virginia
list is 100% accurate. regarding long- distance relationships, some work, some don't. my last relationship lived 1 1/2+ away, it lasted for a year, we were happy, but with my work commute, visiting my elderly mom ( 1 hr. away) etc, it got to be too much. when i retire, i'll be more open to long distance (>1 hr. away) relationships. btw great video!
Honesty, Sincerity, Kindness, Loyalty, Chemistry (with me), Personal Hygiene, and Intelligence, in no particular order...A marriage (or any romantic relationship) is (to me) like a 3-legged stool : It stands on Love, Mutual Respect, and Communication. If it lacks one, it won't stand.
1) Money 0:22
2) Greatest Beauty 0:53
3) Fixer/handyman 2:12
4) Physical strength 2:46
5) Hobbies 3:04
6) Height 4:18
7) Status 4:30
8) Past (except relationship/sex) 4:54
9) Living situation 5:58
10) Distance 6:22
Pin that
These are indeed things that I see women wanting in men.
As usual it's just a load of projection because they're not actually empathetic.
Pretty much everything personality related. And the "greatest beauty" issue is just because there are not enough VS models for every guy, thus they settle. Conclusion: is all about your beauty, girls. Forget everything folks say related to "personality matters".
@stefanisilva2493 Beauty may get a guy's attention, may even get him to bed, but for a man with a modicum of sense and self-respect, beauty is not the only thing that matters. Men universally care about loyalty, someone who brings peace over conflict, and for a man who wants to be married to his best friend having a compatible personality is very important. Also, men who want children also want her to be a good mother for his children. We know that the hot ones can be crazy, and how miserable being with someone combative, resentful, manipulative, crazy, or all of the above. It is better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Ladies, please don't put all your effort into beauty while neglecting the non-physicals. You'll only get attention from the guys you don't want and who see you as little more than a combo trophy and s*x toy.
@@billcynic1815 Ideally, we all state prefering a nice person, but most people are actually not nice and conflict avoiding. Thus, the sexual market value of a partner weights more. If all women are a source of trouble, then getting a hot, trophy trouble seems a better choice.
Also, most men don't have hope in finding a really compatible women - they don't even believe it exists in real life. Due to the fact that men are the ones that have the burden to call women out, they are used to go for the low hanging fruit and not what they really want. In their past relashionships all girlfriends were not their friends, just someone they had sex with - then they don't believe that "female buddy" exists outside movies so they don't even look for that.
I find myself agreeing with so much of what you're saying. You have an excellent handle on people while still realizing there's a few outliers. Many of the things I had to learn myself, sometimes painfully. We are all people, having some differences and some likenesses. Or to quote some comedian from long ago "If you ain't never stood over your significant other whille they slept, holding a box of rat poison, you ain't never been in love!" Used to make us laugh. We agreed we might kill eachother but we would never divorce. You do a good job and I enjoy it.
Spot on! Lady, you're very knowledgeable. Good video!
Regarding number 5. I’ve been married to my wife for just over 30 years. She has always had a love of bats, she gets a genuine thrill to watch a bat colony emerge at dusk. So we’ve been to Austin to watch the Congress Bridge bat colony and others throughout the years. About 20 years ago it struck me that I had a genuine affection for bats. I like bats because she likes bats.
Check out Bracken Cave bat colony. There are something like 12 to 14 million bats there. Bat Conservation International owns the land, and access is very limited. But Natural Bridge Caverns, which is on the same cave network, has a relationship with them and they can get you access on certain days. It's the largest concentration of mammals in one place on earth. When the bats emerge in the evening the stream is kind that it extends from the cave mouth further then you can them. And they show up on San Antonio weather radar.
Oh great, another person with a bat colony fetish 😂
Batshit crazy ?......
Sooo yall are bats about bats... 😆😆
You're her batman.
There is more beauty in a smile than a man could ever desire.
From a guy like myself, you nailed a 10 out of 10 on this one. They are all true. We want someone to make us better not make it worse. We men are simple creatures. There’s no games to play with a relationship. We are basically a yes/no simplicity.
Spot on with every single point as usual Emily.
Things men don't care about:
Fingernails
Fashion
Gossip and anything Kardashian
Well I care if they have long nails. That's a just say no for me.
Women with long nails, like claws a sign that she has vicious tendencies
#3. Is huge for me. If I find you have even slight interest in that family I'm out.
Astrology / fortunes / ghosts / getting a house "blessed" before you enter it / etc.
@@tekomega3454 That's interesting. I was expecting you to go the opposite on long nails for some reason. I see a real tacky trend w/ fake nails these day. I can grow naturally longish nails, but keep them practically trimmed. When women used to use fake nails, it was to look natural. Now they are garish and sometimes ridiculously long. Some of them remind me more of a drag queen look than anything remotely natural or feminine. Is that what you mean?
As someone who once dated the "prettiest girl in the room" it's not worth it. She can be nice, and it can feel great at first, but that fades. Imagine always being busy, always going to parties/events, and when out doing normal stuff never getting to enjoy an moment alone with her. I'm not even talking about jealousy, just her being so popular with everyone you're just one of many courtiers in her Court, and you have to practically schedule in intimacy. It's a freaking headache.
I went out with a Ms Universe contestsant from the country I live in in SE Asia.
She liked me enough to want to keep seeing me but the fact that I had to schedule shit weeks to a month in advance for most dates or be ready with 20 minutes bc she had some photo shoot cancelled, plus deal with her manager and agent plus having dudes try to hit on her in front of me every time we saw each other just wore me out. Oh and all the events she wanted me to go with her to where I knew nobody except maybe her trainer (my closest friend out here) and we got maybe 5 minutes of uninterrupted conversation per event just was too much.
My first real gf was also one of the 3 hottest girls in my HS, and Jesus, all our mutual male friends tried to ask her out after we broke up except my original boys...the 3 times guys lied that I cheated so they would have a chance (we broke up for 4 months and I got busy but they knowingly said I kept effing different girls as a waiter)...
The positives outweighed the negatives when it was just us but the rest of the world kept chucking spanners....
Jesus is Lord.
I married the prettiest girl in the room , it was exhausting. Beauty was her only asset - skill - zero personality, depth ,or anything of substance. Just looks ,but utterly empty inside.
My experiences are when I dated the prettiest girl in the room I had the least amount of fun and enjoyment. Sex wise most felt like they were me a favor and were looking for me to impress them…sweetheart it takes two to tango and there is always someone else around the corner. No drama, down to earth, kind, thoughtful, carry more beauty in my eyes.
@@MrBrachiatingApe. Great comment.
Good list Emily! I agree that distance is not a problem if it's not too far because it's worth it for a high value woman
We did long distance (5 hours) and I drove through every few weekends to visit. Long distance is not an issue, but there has to be loyalty and trust for it to work.
I remember being in my girlfriend's place when she wanted to lay some vinyl floor tiles in her bathroom, i used to lay floors for a living, and she knew this. I said i would do it for her, and she said no she could do it (she was a feminist), i could see she was doing it wrong and gave her advice, she refused it all and did it anyway, it looked bad, good job you independent girl! lol
I would have been more than happy to let you do it for me. When you're in a relationship, it only makes sense to lean on the other person's strengths. If she's the better cook, then let her do that more, or at least lead in it when you cook together at times. One thing I miss the most is cooking w/a partner, whether I'm the assistant or lead.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 I have found that feminist want to compete with men and it doesn't end well. Doesn't last long either.
@@ct7aja2 No it doesn't. Not when she's trying to compete w/ natural male strengths. This frustrates the feminist mind, but it shouldn't, because men don't do as well when trying to outdo women in their natural strengths, and some things men just can't do. But you mention those things, and they go ballistic as if women are "just" good for having babies. When women are given a rare and totally unique to them gift.
Hobbies: She absolutely must have hobbies. If her entire social outlets and fun time depend on me, then she's high-risk to "Get bored and cheat". I do not want to be her entire world. If I wanted something to pine and wait for me to get home, that has huge separation anxiety, I'd get a Weimaraner. (beautiful dogs, but mah gawd they're needy)
If she doesn't have a hobby, she might decide that other men are her hobby. Beware of women who have nothing to do.
And same for me as a woman…. I want husband to have his own hobbies and friends.
She said men aren't terribly focused on what her hobbies are... not that she doesn't have any.
It is important that a woman has hobbies, but not that she has any of the same hobbies as her boyfriend or husband.
I find both women (and men) without real hobbies, interests, culture, ambitions, achievements or some kind of career as too passive and boring to waste my time with. They can waste their empty life in somebody else's presence, not clinging on me.
My response on each opinion:
1. Money, absolutely CORRECT. I did not care at all about it since I knew I would make it.
2. Absolute beauty - CORRECT. Natural beauty is sufficient. Decent features and body are sufficient. Character and values are much more important in a wife - it is what is between her ears that matters. A woman who enjoys being somewhat fit is a nice advantage
3. Being a fixer and mechanically competent - CORRECT. A nice to have but does not matter, I can handle anything.
4. Physical strength -CORRECT I do not need her to be physically strong. It is good to be vital and healthy though.
5. Hobbies - CORRECT - she should have her own interests and they do not need to be shared. It is a nice to have if some of her interests overlap mine - things like reading books, going to movies, likeing Jazz etc
6. Height - CORRECT- I am reasonably tall (top 5%) but she could be petite or tallish for a woman, it does not matter. For men, in most circumstances being tall and impressive physically is usually an advantage but for women it really is just not a big factor. I have never dated anyone as tall as me but very few women are, probably
You are exactly right out of all of the videos I've watched of yours.❤❤ Thank you
Note on the attractiveness. My only standard is don't be fat. Don't be obese. I'm 5'9". Don't be three inches shorter than me and fifty pounds heavier. be in REASONABLE shape. Being fifty pounds overweight isn't attractive. Also, facial piercings and excessive tattoos detract from natural beauty. She is right, I really don't care about makeup. Just don't be fat, and be yourself. That's literally my only physical standard.
My advice to my college age daughter - be nice, don't get fat. That's it. Period. Full stop.
That’s hard to find these days.
Get an import.
I just wanted to add that "fat" probably doesn't mean the same for women than it does for men. People in general are bad at judging their own bodies in terms of attractiveness, but I think it's worse for women. The point where a woman becomes "too fat" for me is when her weight/body-fat actually represents a health risk, especially if it impairs her movement and coordination. Anything below that is very unlikely to affect my physical attraction towards her.
@@DowncastParadox “morbidly obese”
The way I said it in my dating profile is, “physically healthy regardless of your size.”
Obvs prefer a girl whose waist I can girdle with my hands, but I’ll take “healthy.”
@@DowncastParadox 100%! I'm generally into fairly thin (not the stereotypical ideal of "thin with big butt/boobs," since I'm kinda a minimalist with those attributes as well; to a certain point, less is more for me), but I know one girl I'd consider beautiful who is thick by anyone's definition, but who was also a competitive dancer on her high school dance team and hasn't gained any weight or lost any fitness since then. Wouldn't be surprised if she could beat me in a mile run. Textbook example of how someone can be "fat" by many women's standards while still being attractive since she's clearly healthy at her size. I just hope she recognizes and doesn't underrate her own looks, though my relationship to her is such that I can't really be the one to say it to her.
My girl was in Greece and I was in Colorado. Both of us had been married but we found each other over the internet and emailed daily for over a year. Eventually I went to Greece and she came back to the states. We fell in love more every day and married a few years later in Calif. Been together over twenty years , thru good times and awful times and dont care about all the other stuff you mentioned. Agree with most of it.
Exact same story for us. I'm in Alaska, she was in Nevada. Met on the internet. I visited her, she visited me. Love grew stronger every day. We've been together, in Alaska, for 16+ years now and married for most of it. I have to say her sense of humor is her most attractive trait even tho she's cute as a bug.
I met a girl initially as a pen pal from the Philippines. Emailed for years, definitely fell in love. But couldn't work out getting together, as I don't make that much money and could never afford the trip there. So many foreigners think Americans are all so rich... Truth is that I was struggling to have $100 free each month, but she was saying it "only costs $10k to go see her." WTH?! But anyway... That ended up falling apart. Not for want of trying.
Thank you, Emily. You are so right. I really do not care about any of these things. As you say, things like earning an income, hobbies are a plus but not requirement. Everyone has a past and we have all (mostly) done some things we regret, but I am more concerned with the here and now. I am a senior and when dating women over 50, one has to be aware we all have had past relationships, some of which has lasting effects and affects my prospective mate's current lifestyle. I think the only thing that would bother me is NOT being told about these things. Very good video, as usual. Thank you.
Thank you. I think your advice is awesome and your insight as well.
Distance really depends. A few hour drive vs a four hour flight could definitely change my mind. I've tried the cross county thing before, and it didn't work out for me personally.
This is outstanding. I've found all of these to be 100% true. Some of them were things i used to feel insecure about. But I figured, I'm just gonna be open and honest and if he has a problem with those things, then we're not right for each other. After a bit of time i realized these things make absolutely so difference to a man. I love that about men. 😊
Good summary. Thanks. I agree with your list.
I agree with EVERY ONE of your statements! Preference is for a shorter woman than us but definitely not a deal-breaker!
If we could just get over noserings
No
If you have metalwork in your face, just keep walking.
A symbol of slavery, ownership, in past times.The Irony of it is amusing
And chest/neck tattoos
Hobbies - It's always better when you have some in common and some that you don't. That gives you time to share and still time for yourself. History - when I met mine, I didn't care that she had been married before. I knew the guy had effed up and now I had my chance with this amazing woman. Travel - she lived over 4 hours away (I lived in the UK at the time) and I saw her every other weekend until she moved in w/ me.
❤❤
After 40 years of marriage, you are right, we need support, encouragement, companionship, and of course to know that we are loved.
Alot of women IN todays society needs to here that (COUGH) GEN Y, Z, ALPHA
I've been watching your videos for a while now and I'm always astonished by your accurate knowledge of men. Women can learn a lot from you. THANK YOU SO MUCH
But they won't and she knows that😂 she's banking on YOU
Thoughts:
* financial responsibility matters, net worth doesn't.
* self-sufficiency matters, being a gearhead doesn't (though it would be super cool)
In essence, it's all about the ability to participate in an equal partnership, regardless if the context is just splitting the bill/responsibility on dates (casual) or building a life and family together (long-term).
#10 Doesn't work for me. I tried a long distance relationship one time in my life. I lived in Providence and she lived in Philadelphia. She was willing to give up here entire life and move in with me. The problem I had was she had two children, age 10 and 12 and she was far to eager to sacrifice any relationship with them, leave them behind and have almost no contact with them in order to move to where I lived. Obviously I had not thought through the ramifications of dating a woman who had an established family that far away and I didn't really want to move to Philadelphia. But when she made that offer it hit me the wrong way in that she was so cavalier with the decision. It struck me as her having absolutely no maternal instinct at all and to me that was a huge red flag. She had talked about wanting to start a family with me but with her willingness to sacrifice a relationship with her existing children I just couldn't continue so I broke it off. She was not happy but she got over it.
In the end, someone has to move. At some point, someone has to move.
I was surprised at 10. Distance is important to some people, and others are more optimistic that it can be overcome. Long distance is a killer for relationships most of the time. Maybe it's a bit different now w/ fb and face time type chatting than it used to be, but no physical contact is difficult, and major expense, time and energy, just to see them occasionally it a big hurdle. much better to see someone locally.
Thinking about your comment about her looks. You are right on. This finger nail thing really get me, these horribly long ones. Who are they for? They certainly do nothing for me.
Wow, this was great and spot on... number 10 though, I think depends on the distance and circumstances. Which, I guess, also depends on where on is with their life.
I agree with all of these, (so long as they aren't extreme, such as "zero hobbies"), they are "don't cares". There are so may other things that matter way more. Like honesty, energy/disposition, loyalty, being appreciative. I'll take natural beauty over paint & silicon, ANY day.
Same. Natural Beauty wins. If a girl needs/wants plastic surgery & a lot of make up, they a re afraid to show who they really are. All my exes were cute & chubby. I didn't care. Well... Except for 2 who were really skinny. What I loved about all was that they were never afraid to show who/what they really were.
Agree with #10 - a man will go wherever he can find the woman he is looking for (ie. "passport bros"). I myself are nearly 5 years into a wonderful LTR with a Ukrainian lady - I have visited her and we have spent time together (not as much as we would have liked due to a global pandemic and now a war), but we skype often, and I am planning to meet with her again in Poland early next year to spend some more time together. Love your video's Emily. Cheers!
yep. absolutely spot on mate, nailed it.
Facts! Distance usually means NOTHING for the right woman! I am in Seattle, WA, USA and my fiancé lives in Croatia. We are planning for the K-1 visa and marriage because she is SO WORTH IT
How she treats others is the most attractive thing about a woman. If she is kind, considerate and respects other people as she does herself, her beauty is magnified by many times.
Distance isn't a big issue for me, I dated a woman I met 7,700 kilometers away, when I was on vacation. For five years, even got engaged. The relationship did break down in 2015, but still, I regularly traveled about 8,000 kilometers to her hometown to spend a couple weeks with her.
Unless you're an airplane pilot you lost your mind !!
@@josephwalsh7546 nope, not a pilot...
The one quality about my wife before we ever dated that changed everything for me was that she was willing to let the Word of God be the final answer when we faced hard questions in life. We are now married for 20 years with 7 incredible children and the closer we both grow to Jesus the closer we grow to each other :) Neither of us had money, her family lived 8 hours away, she never advertised her looks (she’s beautiful but not glamorous), but kids loved her, her family and friends respected her, our friends trusted her and the more I got to know her I realized she was honest and wise and fun to be with.
congrats to you both, you won the lottery
God is the foundation for everything. Too bad it took me half a lifetime to figure that out
@@jamesday7344 hey man! No better time than NOW for any of us! :)
I'm 68, wife a few years behind me. Been married for 44 years after one date (seriously). My wife didn't walk out of Cosmo and I didn't walk out of GQ either. We're both entering that 'dumpy looking' phase of life. We'll be together till one of us croaks. What attracted me to her was that she was genuine. She wasn't whiny, demanding, insecure, didn't have plastic boobies, fake nails and eyelashes and her face didn't look like Italian plaster. She's smart (PhD and way high up in a TX university) and she cares about my welfare as I do hers. We're--as in both M/F--looking for someone to be with, have fun with, suffer through the downs of life with, take care of each other when hips, knees and backs start to go and cancer or some other malady comes knocking. Yes, one will have to bury the other somewhere along the way...but, man!..what a ride! Wouldn't trade her in for ANY newer model.
Your list is Spot on.
You mentioned some things a guy is looking for too. One thing we want and women should want. This actually should be everybody's mindset honestly but one thing we want is that she has a growth mindset. Is she trying to improve herself. A lot of the things you mention as things we don't want have the common theme of lacking a growth mindset. They're not trying to improve themselves and think they're fine just as they are even when they really aren't.
Fully agree with you on the past especially on the past relationships and body count, personally this matters a lot to me
Very correct on all points .if I was was a young man I would look you up.kool young lady
@3:00 As far as hobbies goes, if she likes to fish, hunt or camp...it's a pretty BIG bonus!
There used to be more common occurrences where couples living at great distances would conduct courtships by correspondence, they had the advantage of getting to know each other more from the intellectual and objective POV so it most definitely can work at any distance it just presents it's own individual challenges
You nailed this list perfectly! Enjoy your time off and hopefully everyone is healthy❤
Boy. . . you hit the nail on the head with this one.
The list is spot on, except for distance. Fine video.
I agree with your list, other than distance. I've done distance, and had some good experiences, but have concluded it's a waste of time in the long run. I wouldn't do it again. Women tend to love the men they see in person regularly, so you'll never be able to trust her if you aren't reasonably close, and can physically be with her regularly. Leave her alone too long and somebody local will find her. So, keep it local. Within an hour away is a good limit in my opinion.
Agreed for me as a woman too. An hour is a hurdle, but it's doable if you're really motivated. It's terrible to miss someone all the time, if you're clicking and getting close, but yet you can't see them much, because travel and money for travel, and time and energy for travel is such a hurdle. The few times I attempted a distance relationship when younger, or saw someone else attempt it, someone local would crop up.
1-9 Mostly true for me, I will say the worse off a girl is the more I feel like she'd be able to appreciate what I'd be able to provide for her, and if she grew up poor with hardships, she would probably be able to tough out rough spots in the relationship and get through them.
10 Mostly true as well, but the longer the distance the more she needs to be able to convince me she's being faithful and is looking forward to closing that distance. I've been in long distance relationships and they are fertile grounds for game playing, ignoring calls and texts, trying to provoke you to jealousy with their social media. That's gonna kill that relationship, whether quick or slow depends on how much the guy is willing to suffer.
Your video gives me hope, thank you!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I find your insights into men and observations about women to be refreshingly honest and spot on (at least when it comes to men…as a man I can’t speak for women, though I do find a lot of your observations about women to ring true from my experience). I always look forward to your videos and wish you the best of luck 👍
❤
For me, a long distance relationship would be extremely difficult. If the first 3-4 months are long distance, not a big deal. I need to able to see how a woman reacts to all of life’s experiences and challenges on the daily up close. Trust and honesty need to be fueled by close distance relationships for the most optimum results.
Hi Emily, you asked about attitudes to travel in terms of dating. For me personally, if the girl is someone I really like, she's worth the travel time and expense to get there. I don't have a distance problem at all and I think this can actually work out well in the early days of dating particularly, because if someone lives too close then it removes some of the excitement and anticipation of seeing each other just occasionally, as opposed to seeing each other too often and being over familiar.
Hi Emily , you have an amazing channel. I understand you are speaking to your generation of men and women . And that is the late 20's and 30 group. As a 65 yr old man, 4 wonderful children,married for almost 20 yrs and now divorced for 15 yrs , I find you a serious breath of fresh air.
There are things that dont apply for me ... as in Social Media , as I dont do much of that.
You certainly have great insight into how men look at women , and hope women will look at men.
Not All Men, But some are ass---loes , And some women .... Difficult ....
Keep up your Great videos
I just love your sensible advice. Thank you. 💗
As usual, precise as a scalpel. Oh boy, I hope lots of women are listening to this, because you don’t get it more accurate than this. Thank you
That was a pretty spot on list that pretty much would work for me
Spot on . Never really thought about it but none of those things really matter
I really enjoy and agree with your assessments on men and women relationship dynamics. This coming from a twice married 64 yo male. (second marriage going on yr 30)
Please keep up this helpful source for both men and women.
Have to disagree with number 10. I do care that someone lives close by. I live in a city where it can take a couple of hours to drive from one side to the other and it split down the middle by a big harbour. When I was using dating apps, I put in a small distance range. I want us to be able to meet easily and spontaneously, whenever we feel like it. Go to local beaches and cafes, etc.
It wasn't always that way, but after wasting so much time criss-crossing the city going for dates, I decided there's no way that I want to spend a long time in traffic or on transport to go for a date, and if it works out well, every time one of us wants to see the other one, we'd have to spend hours on transport. No way 🙅🏻
4 months ago. I'm catching up! Lol
Everything you said was pretty spot on.
I especially like what you said about NATURAL BEAUTY.
It is a rare thing nowadays
All of these are correct, even #10. One minor thing I would add related to hobbies, I don't care what your hobbies are, but I do care that you have them. It's not major, but I think it helps long term if each partner has hobbies they enjoy (together or not). For me personally, if her hobbies overlap with mine, then I am super into that.