I have 6 brothers and no sister's. Learned a lot about what men like and don't like, from each of their perspectives. #1 mind games/manipulation is a total turn off.
Ooh , and that doesnt just apply to 'before dating' or 'early stages'. Thats 100% of the time, for the entire relationship. Men are logical, and direct (typically speaking) and that is the best way to communicate with us. We typically take things very literally so 'mind games' rarly have the effect 'girl's think they do. Also, I had the opposite. Multiple sisters, no brothers. Though i didnt learn as much as you did.. Just what their typical "behind closed doors" life is like so it doesnt weird me out like it apparently seems to for most men.
I have brothers too so I know what they are like. My one brother went through a first divorce , I think the first choice was due to my mom. His 2nd wife was his decision , a bad decision he made for him I think cause I know what he based it on. So I know men.
Indeed. It'll take a unique woman and a unique man to truly feel a peace that surpasses understanding in a relationship. It'll take a lot of work, ups and downs, but both unique persons would be fully committed to each other. Maybe even to the point where the ups are exponentially more than the downs. A true king and queen realize this and are willing to work together as slowly as it takes for the flower to bloom in all of its glory, just the way the Father created it to be. If our love for each other cannot inspire love in others, then there is work ahead to make that a reality. Just food for thought.
@@claycasassa4757 Most definitely. I am very scriptural so I cannot separate love and respect in a relationship from the true source of information for successful marriages. Our aim should always be to please Him who gives us the blessings we have. Sometimes, we can overlook the divine nature in our blessings if we choose to dart our eyes in the wrong direction. I appreciate you! Have a good day!
Yes! And if women read this comment and think “but when I ask he gets upset or backs away”, there are some shitty men (like there are some shitty women). A good man (I am with a good man) WILL, indeed, answer honestly and be happy to hear you express your needs.
He backs away er gets upset because he's wondering y she's trying bamboozle him with BS mind games. Instead of assuming hes a shitty man maybe it's because of the petty mind games women have tried playing on him fer their own amusement...
There's only one thing I want women to know about men: when we tell you what we like or dislike, we're not lying. Women aren't like that. They can say that a man must have a good relationship with his mother and then hours later hook up with someone who fails that. Maybe women think men do the same thing. We don't. When we say we value our peace and your femininity, then ignoring that - or, worse, testing that - is a bad idea. What good man wants a woman who doubts, undermines and goes against him like that? Listen to us. Not to your girlfriends, not to TikTok, but to us. We're telling you how to win us over. You're playing on easy mode. Please stop failing.
True. Men and women think differently because they interact with the Universe differently. Neither is more "right" or "wrong" -- they're just different. Failing to appreciate and understand that difference leads to broken relationships and heartbreak. Further, I don't think women necessarily even want for other women to have good and fuflfilling relationships with men. If your "girlfriends" are badmouthing your SO and trying to get you to view him in the worst possible light, or give you relationship advice based on how women would think (instead of how men *do* think), then they might not have your best interest at heart or might have other ulterior motives. The saying is "single women keep women single" for a reason. In the end, who a woman chooses to mate and commit with is 100% between her and her mate (unless abuse is involved). If your "girlfriends" are trying to interject and affect that decision for you, then it's your obligation to yourself and your relationship to tell them "No". If you choose to heed bad advice and soil your own bed, then choosing to *follow* that advice is entirely on you -- not them. For us fellas on the other hand, we would do well to question *why* women choose to act the way they do and understand their experience is not ours. So, we shouldn't assume they operate by the same principles we do, either. Women have their reasons and we should strive to understand those reasons, without shaming, but never accept them. Much good can be done by pursuing "what ought to be" rather than "what is", but we have to be compassionate and gentle, yet firm, to truly understand *what* ought to be (and how). Bruce Lee's legendary words "you must become shapeless, formless, like water" applies for love, too. May we all find lasting happiness in our relationships. 🙏🌊
There is nothing that a man can ever do to “make” a woman (anyone) happy. We all have bad days, but if she isn’t overall a happy person, she will chase temporary joy/excitement and she will never bring peace to a relationship and her man.
I have actually been in multiple arguments with women about not replying to her texts while I am at work. I may or may not have my phone on me at work. If I do, it is on do not disturb. Even after telling her that, she comes back with "you can't take a minute while you are on break?" You assume I get a break and that I just look forward to mandatory replies when I get some time off. I currently work a job that I hopefully get a bathroom break after 4 hours and won't actually have time to sit down and eat until almost hour 7. On my feet, in the weather. Last thing I am going to do is sit down and waste my break on my phone
I learned: Don’t defend, don’t explain, don’t show/share your emotion, and don’t personalize what they are saying….you don’t owe them anything when they are being disrespectful and aren’t understanding👍 Good Luck❤️🩹
In my most recent failed relationship, I essentially got crapped on because I didn't reply in the way that she wanted to when she sent me a picture (I was working on things that I had to, and couldn't give a longer reply). Needless to say, *that* relationship didn't last two weeks because I just couldn't deal with her picking fights over the pettiest things, and then giving me the silent treatment for up to 4 days over stuff that literally happened a week prior. I just couldn't with that and decided that it's best we go our separate ways
When a man says, "It's all good", what he means is, "It sucks but I'll get through it." If he's saying it in response to something you did or said, it's not a good thing. It means another item has just been added to his mental box of reasons to stop pursuing you.
@@madmartigan9442 to be fair, when it comes do cancelling plans, it's kind of common sense that it's never "all good", even if she has a good reason. But if she does, it may be rude to say something like "I'm not okay for you cancelling because your son became sick". So maybe it all comes to if she takes the initiative to reschedule or to make herself available or not. That's my rule. If she does, I say "it's all good" and it's really all good and we meet again. If she doesn't, I say "it's all good" and I stop wasting my time with her. Drama free solution.
@@madmartigan9442We've recently learnt to NOT be upfront and honest about some things that bother us. Lest we be accused of something for no good reason whatsoever. So now we just walk away instead. No explanation.
4:58 it hurts more than a little. Because “you” rejected one guy, but he’s been rejected multitude of times probably within the same month as he’s talking to you.
You understand men so very well and I wish alot of women could be like you. I am married and my wife just doesn’t get that I really want peace cause every day I try to do things for her and be a person she can love and respect and admire but I never get that 😢…I feel so lonely and lost and if I could just get peace from her it would make me so much happier
All the women want to know why us men are backing away from dating When they should be looking at themselves And wondering why its their personality and drama that chases men away
It is because many women out there that are looking for men in the similar line of work....white collar workers. They come across men like me....a blue collar worker... and even though we may have qualities and interests that they like, we are not what they envisioned or dreamed of being with in the long term, so be are put aside as an option.
@@backyardrailroader I earn far more as a blue collar worker than I did as a white collar worker. I earned way above the average as a white collar worker. But the consequence is longer hours. Right way, wrong way, railway.
You are right on target, Emily! Women, please stop the games!! This goes for all women, young, middle, and Sr. Most guys tend to walk away, no time to waste!
Btw, a man into his 30s has a routine and usually budgets, for example, most men put 15% of their net income aside in a 401K, then the remaining income is budgeted, another 10% into contingency funds. Then the classics, mortgage/rent, food, gas and ancillary vehicle expenses, a holiday fund, a “targeted” saving e.g. a new bike or weights or even a new car. So, money spent on a date is “extracted” from another destination and is a sacrifice.
Yes, dating is expensive. Sometimes, you may have to make sacrifices, i.e., Your toys, if you intend to pursue a particular woman, seriously. It's all about priorities.
@@margovallen Hi Margovallen, ever thought males may be tired of “making the sacrifice” to end up with the dirty end of the stick? Most males, by the time they are in their mid 30s have seen a bit, they have usually been ripped-off by at least 1 woman, they know enough to do the “Costs v. Benefit” analysis AND don’t want to pay the cost “up-front” without checking under the hood, kicking the tires and going over the paint.
I don't even bother dating unless I am active in the gym and my businesses are doing well. Every girl and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of them has a 25 page of must haves and red flags to avoid. I'm not exaggerating. Even then social media has damaged women so much that the slightest mistake causes so much drama and chaos its not even worth. There is a reason the passport bro movement exists.
Life creates difficult situations: sickness, issues at work, need to for overtime, stuff to take care of. If you play mind games and create artificial situations then it is visible that something is wrong.
I was doing my laundry today and I thought about you and your channel. No as you said women shouldn't try to pick up men at gims or home Depot because the former they're busy and the latter they're probably married and busy. But if a woman wants to go shopping for a single man she should go to the grocery stores and to the laundromats. If she sees a lone man shopping or doing laundry and she's interested in him she should walk up to him and start a conversation. Because nine times out of 10 if the man was married his wife would be doing the grocery shopping and his wife would be doing his laundry so therefore you see a young man and a grocery store or laundromat he is probably.
Good grief, I guess people are so isolated and anti social anymore that this is necessary. I've not always had great relationships, but not one of my ex's hates me. We tried. I'm a human, I want a partner, not a slave, not a boss. I never brought work home. Always tried to have them feel special. I go a long time between relationships, I've had friends that were so worried about being alone, they would have another girl in the pipeline before they even broke up with current one..
Women have a really hard time understanding that dating from a man's perspective is stressful, akin to a job interview. She gets to lean on her lack of self-awareness and lack of consideration to just enjoy herself but men, the good ones anyway, are wracked with stress trying to make the date fun for her at our expense.
In my younger and more inquisitive years, I got to know how some girls set out their plans when going out. More often than not it was just about having fun by teasing and then rejecting men in a way that made them feel ridiculous or bad about themselves. Only when they were left over, because of their character, did they start to take men more seriously.
Really admire your videos, explaining men to women. Thank you! Not only can men not read minds, most men aren’t all that good about detecting and interpreting little hints. Just say it!
This is a factual statement. Men spend their lives in a constant communications with other men. The boss comes in and tells you exactly what he expects and the man does exactly what the boss requires. Then comes home to his significant other and can see something is wrong. Honey, what's wrong? Nothing! The train just left the tracks. Just tell the guy what is bothering you. Try being honest. In most cases this will give you a winning hand. Unless of course, you are just sht testing.
For me it’s all about intent. If you hate me and you think I’m weird and ugly, say it! Bring it out. At least that offers closure instead of leaving me in limbo. If you don’t see a connection say it. It’s communicating. It’s your words and it’s being honest about what you feel. Intent is also about for example you feeling your into someone. Explorer that further with intent. As soon as you make me an option I will wish you the best of luck with the other person. I’m sorry but I will not play this competition BS game. I’ve closed everything down and I’m focused on one person with the intent of building something. If that person isn’t then I’m out. Even if we talk a bit and you don’t feel anything. Just freaking say it for it crying out loud. I won’t be mad or anything. I’d actually be happy. Thank you for giving me the chance to meet you and we go about our ways. I’m actually working and studying on how to develop a dating application that has a guided path and helps two people find and build love instead of endlessly swiping and judging based on looks. It’s going to take me time to develop it but as soon as I do launch the app it’s going to have a free tier that isn’t limited at all. But will also have a paid tiered for those that want to upgrade but you don’t have too, to find love. I’ve grown sick enough of the BS. So I’m going to do something about it. 👍
You nailed these. These are important things all women need to know about ALL the men you deal with, even your mechanic or coworker. Priorities: When you are his momentary priority, his focus is getting you what you NEED, not what you WANT. Your plumber's priority is to fix your sink, not make you feel heard or special. Pressure: All (real) men feel the pressure to succeed in whatever we do. Failure hurts us deeply, which is what causes many of our reactions to criticism. When you take your car back to the mechanic because it is not fixed, whatever his attitude is (apologetic, dismissive, angry, rude, etc.) is rooted in the fact that it really bothers him that he failed to give you what you need. Hurt: Men feel pain. Included in this are disappointment sadness and fear, but it is disaster if we express our pain as anything other than anger or humor. Showing hurt feelings advertises weakness. In any professional situation, expressing anger and weakness are very bad. When you criticize a male colleague (jokingly or not), that may permanently damage your professional relationship, and you might never know. Sick of dating: This translates to sick of uncertainty, rejection, and the hassle of trying to develop something new. This applies to all salesmen, and guys applying for loans or jobs. Cut the guy a break. Tell him immediately if you are not interested, but be friendly about it. If you do make a deal/appointment, don't cancel. Your electrician arranged to work on your house on Thursday, so make sure you are at home on Thursday. Peace: Counterintuitively, men do more for women who are less demanding. Be polite and friendly, and most of all, LOW MAINTENANCE when dealing with men out in the world. Just because you are paying a guy for a service, that does not mean he needs to kiss your desire to feel important.
#1 He doesn't want to be in jail for sexual Harrassment. #2 No pressure, we just don't want to do it every time. #3 We don't want to chase. You ghost us or talk about other guys chasing you. We done. #4 The best part is getting to know someone. We want peace, but also a good woman, sometimes. No Drama. #5 wether its by looks or character this is true.
Ladies, we (men) are pretty simple people. Just communicate honestly and openly with us. No games, no tests. It takes courage to approach a lady and risk rejection and we have the upmost respect for any lady that approaches us. We’re all looking for someone special and it’s not easy sometimes so we need to respect each other and just be honest and polite.
One thing I would add is - if you've made your interest clear and he's not responding, that IS because he's not into you. It's not that he didn't notice, or that he's just shy or something. So, don't get your son to threaten him or your daughter to try to force him to kiss you. And don't grope anyone's arse until there is mutual enthusiastic consent. That is about my personal experience, by the way. Also from personal experience - if he's not into you, and you know he's not interested in you, don't get revenge on him by trying to embarrass him. Also, if you're his supervisor at work, don't hit on him. I had to leave a job to get away from sexual harassment from my supervisor - that was decades ago, but I'll go to my grave hating that woman
Thanks for sharing this! These are things that need to be discussed more. The shame of this is the men and women are more lost today than they have been. All of this should be taught through families. These are the types of things moms share with daughters, dads share with sons and is learned in the family. Older folks need to be mother and father figures to those younger than us.
Sick of dating - this is first on my list. Dating is horrible. Lots of expectations, high chance of drama if I date newly met girl and at the same time risk to be simply friendzoned if I won't make a move fast enough.
A very important one. I can not stress it enough if a man genuinely likes a woman. He will make time for her. He might be very busy, but he will make the effort. Only unless something unexpected happened, he will cancel the date by appollogyzing and suggesting a new day and time. Now, a player will do exactly the same, but it's not genuine. He's probably seeing another woman (who he prefers over you, but using you as a backup if thing's do not work out with the other woman) It's very hard to tell the difference in the beginning. Important that women know this. So I understand why women who have been played and hurt, do not take any chances when a genuine guy cancels the date. Player's are unbelievable good at reading the body language and know exactly when and what to say to a woman, to melt her heart. I know a guy (player) who was dating 3 women at the same time over a period off 3 months. Keeping a record with whom he did what. Literally dropping one off and going to the other woman. As a male friend he's great, but I feel bad for all the women who fall for him. A lot.
Nah. There is some leeway. We can de-prioritize some things. Give up a bit of videogame time, or stop taking the dogs for a walk, or cut down our gym time. Tell a few friends that our game nights or barbecues need to take a spot on the backburner because of a new relationship. Let mum and dad know why we've not been around for a cuppa. Cut down on some sleep for a while. But these are temporary changes to an already full dance card to squeeze in a little bit extra. Are women doing the same? You'd assume they have to be. So why do you portray it as only the man has to make time and effort for her? Other than to make it sound like the man has to do all the effort and chasing so that women don't feel they need to match that effort?
When my divorce is finalized later this year... I'm never seriously dating again. After 19 years married, with half of them stressful and entirely lacking any sense of peace, and being cheated on yet again, I'm done. Dogs, family and friends for companionship, professionals and porn for physical needs. I will have my peace of mind and soul.
Ikr. My GSD is loyal as anything, and always at my side. Kind of embarrassing that females of our OWN species let dogs out perform them for the title of Man's Best Friend.
Please research the effects of prostitution and pornography on self and society. Sex actually isn't a need,, for men or for women. Accidentally thinking so has been very bad for society at large.
@@christendem I'm not going to be a celibate monk for the rest of my life. I've mostly been one for almost 11 years now, and I'm done with that. Also, I'm not going to be seeking serious relationships ever again. I'm too old to gamble with that any more, and I just want my peace. 3 of the last 5 serious relationships I had involved some form of infidelity on my partner's part. The women were from multiple religious and non-religious backgrounds. One said she was a devout Christian, one was an orthodox Jew, and the other is agnostic. It made no difference. So I will do what I need to in order to meet my biological imperative, as I'm not looking to join a monastery any time soon. Nor will I ever entertain the possibility of marriage again.
Howdy. Yeah. It took me some experience to understand that when she cancels a date it means she was not into me. The reason for cancelling is of no importance. Women will conjure up any reason but not tell the truth. One occaison was a cancellation only a few hours before scheduled meeting. The reason given was she had visitors. I replied that I get the drift and that she could have suggested a new time to show an honest reason. That did the trick. The insults and the fury i received. Regards.
Is there the equivalent of Emily’s channel talking about women, with this level of honesty & insight, like hosted by a guy??? Would women watch that? I would. Do they watch this channel or her Tik-Toks? What are the demographics? I’m just wondering how we all get on the same page and better our relationships overall. Honesty, integrity, respect, loyalty, faithfulness, caring, love, and no games… all of that wins.
@rex-racer the Dadvocate does something similar. She does a "Womansplaining women to men" series thing that points out what women can actually be thinking or meaning. She's not an exact equivalent to Emily but she also shares valuable insights.
I’m here to learn more about relationships and what men want. I hate mind games and drama. I want a peaceful, healthy relationship. So I’m researching what a healthy relationship looks like. Yes there are other channels that talk about what women need in a healthy relationship. You might try: Jimmy On Relationships, and Magnetize Your Man. There are actually a lot of these healthy relationships channels on CZcams. I’m studying up for when I get back out there. 🤷♀️
That last point reminded me of something I saw recently that went something like this: Wife: Honey, I don't know what you see in my messy bun & frumpy clothes. I feel so ugly! 🥺 Husband: Babe, I'm in love even with your boogers. You're beautiful, regardless! ❤ I hope more ladies can learn from your channel & become the best versions of themselves, for themselves & their husbands! 🙏🏼
The point about peace should be number one. Zero, even. Dating should be something that enriches your life, makes it more fun, more fulfilling. If all you bring is a host of problems and drama and pressure and control, who is gonna bother with that? Someone insane, clearly.
You talk about peace like it comes and goes. We crave peace, and if a woman takes that away from us, why do we need you? It is so much more peaceful being single.
If we like what you're doing during dating, we want you to keep being that way after the relationship has gone more 'official', whether it's partnership or marriage. We don't want a 'bait and switch', once we've invested so much in you we can't or won't walk away, no matter how sucky it's gotten.
5:45 ive not dated in 5 years... 5 years. The unknown and drama is a huge part of it. How the hell do i even attempt to date again lol? People today are so... different and I am learning to value my peace and alone time more for myself then needing to be with a partner, albeit slowly, because i miss having my special somone who is with me, but i am learning to do whatever i want again. I feel like my life is falling behind my friends and family since i am single and its tough to get back into the dating scene. I guess i need to be more outgoing and less of an introvert at times.
I would really love to see some sort of collab between you and JimmyonRelationships. I've been seeing a bunch shorts from both of you recently and I feel it would be great having the two of you talk about healthy relationships, sharing thoughts that from come from both sides. Relationships are a two-way street and it's not just men who should be understanding of their female partners, but women should do the same for their male partners.
... THE best way to "tell" a man you like him is SHOW IT TO HIM don't talk just show it to him and there are hundreds of way how to do it ..he will noticed 100%
Fantastic breakdown! Your insights resonate deeply with the intricacies of modern dating. The emphasis on clear communication and understanding the pressures both men and women face is spot on. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate your wisdom and look forward to more enriching discussions on navigating the complex world of relationships. Cheers to empowering individuals in their dating journeys!
I'm a male 54 and just not into dating anymore or into the idea of getting married just not interested anymore I love my singleness it's a gift from God 😊
I'll put it in this form? Dating is an investment (for both genders), when both genders actually acknowledge such, and appreciate the other's participation/vesting...then there's a possible path forward... Without that, from either side..? Then the actual realized ROI of the other party is...... nothing....
Thanks, Emily. I think you do really good job of tell people how a lot of men honestly feel. Especially agree with #4 in this video. I'm in my 50s and I've stopped dating because at this point in my life peace of mind matters a heckva lot more than the drama. Keep up the good work!
What I women to know before dating: 1. Don't have a list of qualities you want in a man. Confine yourself to just two demands beyond that he is clean. Otherwise, your list will grow as he starts meeting those on your original list. 2. Don't talk about your ex or your conquests starting in junior high school. My wife died and I don't talk about her. I have told my girlfirend nothing about other women. I simply say I had dance companions as I am a very high level dancer. . . and that I had no other girlfriends before her. 3. Don't be a drama queen. 4. And now for the secret that mommy never told you or your girl friends. Women do ask men to go on a dates! They can and do find ways to express an interest. It not shameful or demeaning to do so.
My ex asked me, "what are your needs?" I said, "I just want to be happy with what I have. To enjoy life as it is." Somehow this isn't acceptable now. I've achieved my goals (which are admirable), I'm old enough now that I don't need to be constantly chained to "growth." Love me for what I am and what I've accomplished. Don't hate me for not wanting to continue to change or strive to meet your standards.
@@dougbarnowski5224 GenZ is fine. The fact that you think they are "WORSE" shows that you extrapolate things you see very poorly. Learn to reason better. I could help you learn. You're welcome.
#2: Not only does the man have to take the lead, he has to do it not knowing what she wants but knowing she will think less of him if he does something wrong (that he doesn't know is wrong).
Number 4! Couldn’t have said it better myself. Hate dating. Took numerous breaks from it in the past only to decide to be positive, try it again, all that BS…until finally deciding I was finished for good.
I had that peace for 26 years but unfortunately it came to an end when my wife passed. Since then, I met someone online that proved to be a total opposite of what I was used to. It seems this person thrives on chaos and drama, something I cannot tolerate. From that encounter I'm no longer enthused to date and value my peace even if it means living by myself from this point on.
I agree with this video. One point you talked about that I think would be a good spin off is peace. Specifically the difference between quiet and peace. A woman can be quiet but not peaceful.
Then a guy wants to date a woman, he sees the things he likes about her. If a woman concentrates on the things she dislikes about herself, she is missing the point of why he's interested. And then she might make up reasons for him, which typically ends badly.
I lost my wife of 43 years 3 years ago. Before she died of cancer she told me she was OK if I wanted to date someone or even marry them. At 63 I had no desire for anyone else. I still don't. As usually you are correct on what men want. To me the main thing men want is peace no drama. If I was to date it would have to be a widow. I don't want someone's throw away. By that I mean someone who did not choice right to begin with or could not get along too much drama. I have not found anyone but I am not looking.
Your first statement "if he wanted to he would" has very broad applications for both men and women. We all have mental stumbling blocks that keep us from doing everything we might want to do. This includes getting more exercise, eating healthy, reading more books, not being afraid to speak out in public, clean out the car, etc.
I was sort of background listening to this, and between item 3 and item 4 came an ad that started with the words "Shape MATTERS!" and I'm like "Whoa there! Hold up! Not gonna say you're wrong, but I think women already know that one... or at least they think they do... oh wait, we're talking about an electric toothbrush, nevermind."
Hey Emily, you are so right on the money on all 5 things. The women I have met in the past really need to understand these things because they are really clueless… I think the biggest problem is they meet a few bad guys and they think we’re all the same. Most women who have bad fathers are probably going to pick the same type of guy too…
Personally, I'm glad to be single for years and not looking. I now have more time to spend with my daughters and grandchildren. Ex wife and I have a great relationship and I don't have drama in my life.
If a woman wants me the way I am now, she has to realize (to borrow a concept from couples/partnership dancing) that she is the picture, and has to fit in my frame. I have time to accommodate her in many ways, and will prioritize her a lot, but if it's so much that I lose what it means to be me, she will lose me.
I am 46, going through a divorce, amicably separated, and I have started to casually date. I don't think I can do it. 🤣 It is just not worth the hassle. I enjoy my life and being single and living the way I want. 😊 At some point I might start to look seriously, but for now, no way.
Emily, I really enjoy your videos. Once more I agree with all five points you just made!!! I was wondering how you know all of this deep down men stuff? I constantly watch your videos and say to myself "I do that" or "I did that" or even "That's How I feel" Also, Congrats on your new born! My wife has 4 adult children by a previous marriage. My wife has six grand kids. The latest was born Monday 1-22-2024.
..#5, the funny one, give signs, let him know !!!!!..that's huge , yes..probably the most important of the other 4 most important before, well done, shout it, let this video go global, it will be needed..! 😊😉 thanks Emily, to analyse this and want to help other rightious women..
bottom line: a man's not going to invest in something that has no likelihood of getting a return on investment. these are things that give him the idea there won't be a return on his investment: not being ready on time. complaining about any minor details. - and to be clear, if you order your chicken cooked well, and your steak arrives bloody rare, that's not minor. but if you keep complaining after the problem has been fixed, that's a red flag. related is LOOKING for things to find fault with. being untouchable. he's not shopping for home decor, just like he's not shopping for a table. any form of playing hard to get. refusing to express an opinion except to shoot down his suggestions. to get really blunt: if you don't make his evening any better than it would be without you, you're just an expense.
These are all good, but for number 4, I’m there now and have no plans to date or pitch myself out there, ever. I’m at an age where I just don’t have time for any disruption in my life while I focus on my son. My peace is more important than the stress of dating.
1. Women rarely fall for guys who put them on a pedestal, and men constantly fail if they do. 2. Men face hundreds of micro-rejections every day. In this hostile environment where men are blamed, shamed, falsely accused, scrutinised within an inch of their lives, where once men were accepted if they had a steady job, today they have to have an exceptional job, and be judged worthy to sustain a woman’s lofty lifestyle, while he works 60 hours a week. And he must be tall. Most men who are seen as average to women are in-fact unseen by women. 3. Women who, very early on, are not clear about texts, like reasonable reply gaps, or if she changes dates or locations that she agreed to initially, tells a man that he might not be the only log in the fire, that she might have more than one guy she’s, and she’s playing one off the other. 4. The juice has to be worth the squeeze. Women have to at-least give the impression that she’s able to meet the guy half-way. Nagging, complaining, criticising is not what men want. 5. If a man suspects he’s being friend zoned, he’s not only going to lose interest, if he has any self-respect, he will be insulted to be belittled that way. Men, if you know your worth, you won’t tolerate that.
This is the real list for modern women. 1, How tall he is, less than 6ft it's a no. 2, how much money you have and can you pay her rent too,. 3, has he a highly successful business or job, or a side hustle - even if it's dr#g dealing! 4, does he have his own home and a nice car? Image is important to women these days. 5, how often can he afford to take her on holidays if it less than every other month he is a loser! Don't waste your time.
I have 6 brothers and no sister's. Learned a lot about what men like and don't like, from each of their perspectives. #1 mind games/manipulation is a total turn off.
To sum it up in one word…. “Drama”.
100% Add sht testing to that.
Ooh , and that doesnt just apply to 'before dating' or 'early stages'. Thats 100% of the time, for the entire relationship. Men are logical, and direct (typically speaking) and that is the best way to communicate with us. We typically take things very literally so 'mind games' rarly have the effect 'girl's think they do.
Also, I had the opposite. Multiple sisters, no brothers. Though i didnt learn as much as you did.. Just what their typical "behind closed doors" life is like so it doesnt weird me out like it apparently seems to for most men.
I mean, I know it's mind bending fer a woman to get that. 304 logic dictates that men like mind games... Enjoy ur cats
I have brothers too so I know what they are like. My one brother went through a first divorce , I think the first choice was due to my mom. His 2nd wife was his decision , a bad decision he made for him I think cause I know what he based it on. So I know men.
You're going to be very unique if you can make men feel at peace." What a hell of a sadly true statement.
Indeed. It'll take a unique woman and a unique man to truly feel a peace that surpasses understanding in a relationship. It'll take a lot of work, ups and downs, but both unique persons would be fully committed to each other. Maybe even to the point where the ups are exponentially more than the downs. A true king and queen realize this and are willing to work together as slowly as it takes for the flower to bloom in all of its glory, just the way the Father created it to be. If our love for each other cannot inspire love in others, then there is work ahead to make that a reality. Just food for thought.
@@michaelmalendoski The peace that passes understanding reference is out of Scriptural context, and agreed, it takes 2 to tango.
@@claycasassa4757 Most definitely. I am very scriptural so I cannot separate love and respect in a relationship from the true source of information for successful marriages. Our aim should always be to please Him who gives us the blessings we have. Sometimes, we can overlook the divine nature in our blessings if we choose to dart our eyes in the wrong direction.
I appreciate you! Have a good day!
Just ask ladies. And trust he will answer honestly. Stop projecting. Stop making men guess. Communicate, please.
Yes! And if women read this comment and think “but when I ask he gets upset or backs away”, there are some shitty men (like there are some shitty women).
A good man (I am with a good man) WILL, indeed, answer honestly and be happy to hear you express your needs.
He backs away er gets upset because he's wondering y she's trying bamboozle him with BS mind games. Instead of assuming hes a shitty man maybe it's because of the petty mind games women have tried playing on him fer their own amusement...
Ok, I think some times us women have a hard time believing that will work, what i mean is we have a problem with being vulnerable.peace
If they haven't by now, I doubt they'll start now............
@@jokhard8137He wasn't made weak, he was fooled and is trying to not be fooled again.
There's only one thing I want women to know about men: when we tell you what we like or dislike, we're not lying.
Women aren't like that. They can say that a man must have a good relationship with his mother and then hours later hook up with someone who fails that. Maybe women think men do the same thing. We don't. When we say we value our peace and your femininity, then ignoring that - or, worse, testing that - is a bad idea. What good man wants a woman who doubts, undermines and goes against him like that?
Listen to us. Not to your girlfriends, not to TikTok, but to us. We're telling you how to win us over. You're playing on easy mode. Please stop failing.
Understanding the difference between knowing what someone likes and what they 'like the idea of' is important
Right, but they don´t mostly even listen at all.
True. Men and women think differently because they interact with the Universe differently. Neither is more "right" or "wrong" -- they're just different. Failing to appreciate and understand that difference leads to broken relationships and heartbreak.
Further, I don't think women necessarily even want for other women to have good and fuflfilling relationships with men. If your "girlfriends" are badmouthing your SO and trying to get you to view him in the worst possible light, or give you relationship advice based on how women would think (instead of how men *do* think), then they might not have your best interest at heart or might have other ulterior motives. The saying is "single women keep women single" for a reason.
In the end, who a woman chooses to mate and commit with is 100% between her and her mate (unless abuse is involved). If your "girlfriends" are trying to interject and affect that decision for you, then it's your obligation to yourself and your relationship to tell them "No". If you choose to heed bad advice and soil your own bed, then choosing to *follow* that advice is entirely on you -- not them.
For us fellas on the other hand, we would do well to question *why* women choose to act the way they do and understand their experience is not ours. So, we shouldn't assume they operate by the same principles we do, either. Women have their reasons and we should strive to understand those reasons, without shaming, but never accept them. Much good can be done by pursuing "what ought to be" rather than "what is", but we have to be compassionate and gentle, yet firm, to truly understand *what* ought to be (and how).
Bruce Lee's legendary words "you must become shapeless, formless, like water" applies for love, too.
May we all find lasting happiness in our relationships. 🙏🌊
@@jokhard8137this is an oddly nuanced comment for social media.
If this were Reddit, I’d say you were screaming into the void
I never thought of it like that. Women play on easy mode and still fail. That needs to be highlighted in large, bright, neon letters for all to see
There is nothing that a man can ever do to “make” a woman (anyone) happy. We all have bad days, but if she isn’t overall a happy person, she will chase temporary joy/excitement and she will never bring peace to a relationship and her man.
I have actually been in multiple arguments with women about not replying to her texts while I am at work. I may or may not have my phone on me at work. If I do, it is on do not disturb. Even after telling her that, she comes back with "you can't take a minute while you are on break?" You assume I get a break and that I just look forward to mandatory replies when I get some time off. I currently work a job that I hopefully get a bathroom break after 4 hours and won't actually have time to sit down and eat until almost hour 7. On my feet, in the weather. Last thing I am going to do is sit down and waste my break on my phone
I learned: Don’t defend, don’t explain, don’t show/share your emotion, and don’t personalize what they are saying….you don’t owe them anything when they are being disrespectful and aren’t understanding👍
Good Luck❤️🩹
In my most recent failed relationship, I essentially got crapped on because I didn't reply in the way that she wanted to when she sent me a picture (I was working on things that I had to, and couldn't give a longer reply). Needless to say, *that* relationship didn't last two weeks because I just couldn't deal with her picking fights over the pettiest things, and then giving me the silent treatment for up to 4 days over stuff that literally happened a week prior. I just couldn't with that and decided that it's best we go our separate ways
but it's ok for them to not reply
When a man says, "It's all good", what he means is, "It sucks but I'll get through it." If he's saying it in response to something you did or said, it's not a good thing. It means another item has just been added to his mental box of reasons to stop pursuing you.
Disagree. If a man says, “it’s all good,” it means it’s all good. We, unlike women, are simple and not complicated.
@@madmartigan9442 to be fair, when it comes do cancelling plans, it's kind of common sense that it's never "all good", even if she has a good reason.
But if she does, it may be rude to say something like "I'm not okay for you cancelling because your son became sick".
So maybe it all comes to if she takes the initiative to reschedule or to make herself available or not. That's my rule.
If she does, I say "it's all good" and it's really all good and we meet again.
If she doesn't, I say "it's all good" and I stop wasting my time with her. Drama free solution.
@@madmartigan9442 No, when it's truly all good, we say "I'm good".
@@madmartigan9442We've recently learnt to NOT be upfront and honest about some things that bother us. Lest we be accused of something for no good reason whatsoever. So now we just walk away instead. No explanation.
@@JonBeowulfActually that usually means that we are denying an offer.
#3 100%. I dropped a friend who claimed to want me more than just a friend. She put in NO effort
4:58 it hurts more than a little. Because “you” rejected one guy, but he’s been rejected multitude of times probably within the same month as he’s talking to you.
You understand men so very well and I wish alot of women could be like you. I am married and my wife just doesn’t get that I really want peace cause every day I try to do things for her and be a person she can love and respect and admire but I never get that 😢…I feel so lonely and lost and if I could just get peace from her it would make me so much happier
All the women want to know why us men are backing away from dating When they should be looking at themselves And wondering why its their personality and drama that chases men away
It is because many women out there that are looking for men in the similar line of work....white collar workers. They come across men like me....a blue collar worker... and even though we may have qualities and interests that they like, we are not what they envisioned or dreamed of being with in the long term, so be are put aside as an option.
@@backyardrailroader I earn far more as a blue collar worker than I did as a white collar worker. I earned way above the average as a white collar worker. But the consequence is longer hours.
Right way, wrong way, railway.
You are right on target, Emily! Women, please stop the games!! This goes for all women, young, middle, and Sr. Most guys tend to walk away, no time to waste!
wanting peace.....sums me up 100%. Probably the most important statement Emily has ever uttered
Btw, a man into his 30s has a routine and usually budgets, for example, most men put 15% of their net income aside in a 401K, then the remaining income is budgeted, another 10% into contingency funds. Then the classics, mortgage/rent, food, gas and ancillary vehicle expenses, a holiday fund, a “targeted” saving e.g. a new bike or weights or even a new car. So, money spent on a date is “extracted” from another destination and is a sacrifice.
Yes, dating is expensive. Sometimes, you may have to make sacrifices, i.e., Your toys, if you intend to pursue a particular woman, seriously. It's all about priorities.
@@margovallen Hi Margovallen, ever thought males may be tired of “making the sacrifice” to end up with the dirty end of the stick? Most males, by the time they are in their mid 30s have seen a bit, they have usually been ripped-off by at least 1 woman, they know enough to do the “Costs v. Benefit” analysis AND don’t want to pay the cost “up-front” without checking under the hood, kicking the tires and going over the paint.
I don't even bother dating unless I am active in the gym and my businesses are doing well. Every girl and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. ONE of them has a 25 page of must haves and red flags to avoid. I'm not exaggerating. Even then social media has damaged women so much that the slightest mistake causes so much drama and chaos its not even worth. There is a reason the passport bro movement exists.
Life creates difficult situations: sickness, issues at work, need to for overtime, stuff to take care of. If you play mind games and create artificial situations then it is visible that something is wrong.
#3 is a BIG motivation to quit the whole "thing" at all and walk on.
Being unreasonably hard to reach by phone or text, or trying to make me jealous, is an excellent way to make me walk away.😊
The peace without drama is top shelf
I was doing my laundry today and I thought about you and your channel. No as you said women shouldn't try to pick up men at gims or home Depot because the former they're busy and the latter they're probably married and busy. But if a woman wants to go shopping for a single man she should go to the grocery stores and to the laundromats. If she sees a lone man shopping or doing laundry and she's interested in him she should walk up to him and start a conversation. Because nine times out of 10 if the man was married his wife would be doing the grocery shopping and his wife would be doing his laundry so therefore you see a young man and a grocery store or laundromat he is probably.
Good grief, I guess people are so isolated and anti social anymore that this is necessary.
I've not always had great relationships, but not one of my ex's hates me. We tried.
I'm a human, I want a partner, not a slave, not a boss.
I never brought work home. Always tried to have them feel special.
I go a long time between relationships, I've had friends that were so worried about being alone, they would have another girl in the pipeline before they even broke up with current one..
Women have a really hard time understanding that dating from a man's perspective is stressful, akin to a job interview. She gets to lean on her lack of self-awareness and lack of consideration to just enjoy herself but men, the good ones anyway, are wracked with stress trying to make the date fun for her at our expense.
In my younger and more inquisitive years, I got to know how some girls set out their plans when going out. More often than not it was just about having fun by teasing and then rejecting men in a way that made them feel ridiculous or bad about themselves. Only when they were left over, because of their character, did they start to take men more seriously.
Really admire your videos, explaining men to women. Thank you! Not only can men not read minds, most men aren’t all that good about detecting and interpreting little hints. Just say it!
This is a factual statement. Men spend their lives in a constant communications with other men. The boss comes in and tells you exactly what he expects and the man does exactly what the boss requires. Then comes home to his significant other and can see something is wrong. Honey, what's wrong? Nothing! The train just left the tracks. Just tell the guy what is bothering you. Try being honest. In most cases this will give you a winning hand. Unless of course, you are just sht testing.
For me it’s all about intent. If you hate me and you think I’m weird and ugly, say it! Bring it out. At least that offers closure instead of leaving me in limbo.
If you don’t see a connection say it.
It’s communicating. It’s your words and it’s being honest about what you feel.
Intent is also about for example you feeling your into someone. Explorer that further with intent. As soon as you make me an option I will wish you the best of luck with the other person.
I’m sorry but I will not play this competition BS game. I’ve closed everything down and I’m focused on one person with the intent of building something. If that person isn’t then I’m out.
Even if we talk a bit and you don’t feel anything. Just freaking say it for it crying out loud. I won’t be mad or anything. I’d actually be happy. Thank you for giving me the chance to meet you and we go about our ways.
I’m actually working and studying on how to develop a dating application that has a guided path and helps two people find and build love instead of endlessly swiping and judging based on looks. It’s going to take me time to develop it but as soon as I do launch the app it’s going to have a free tier that isn’t limited at all. But will also have a paid tiered for those that want to upgrade but you don’t have too, to find love.
I’ve grown sick enough of the BS. So I’m going to do something about it. 👍
You nailed these.
These are important things all women need to know about ALL the men you deal with, even your mechanic or coworker.
Priorities:
When you are his momentary priority, his focus is getting you what you NEED, not what you WANT. Your plumber's priority is to fix your sink, not make you feel heard or special.
Pressure:
All (real) men feel the pressure to succeed in whatever we do. Failure hurts us deeply, which is what causes many of our reactions to criticism. When you take your car back to the mechanic because it is not fixed, whatever his attitude is (apologetic, dismissive, angry, rude, etc.) is rooted in the fact that it really bothers him that he failed to give you what you need.
Hurt:
Men feel pain. Included in this are disappointment sadness and fear, but it is disaster if we express our pain as anything other than anger or humor. Showing hurt feelings advertises weakness. In any professional situation, expressing anger and weakness are very bad. When you criticize a male colleague (jokingly or not), that may permanently damage your professional relationship, and you might never know.
Sick of dating:
This translates to sick of uncertainty, rejection, and the hassle of trying to develop something new. This applies to all salesmen, and guys applying for loans or jobs. Cut the guy a break. Tell him immediately if you are not interested, but be friendly about it. If you do make a deal/appointment, don't cancel. Your electrician arranged to work on your house on Thursday, so make sure you are at home on Thursday.
Peace:
Counterintuitively, men do more for women who are less demanding. Be polite and friendly, and most of all, LOW MAINTENANCE when dealing with men out in the world. Just because you are paying a guy for a service, that does not mean he needs to kiss your desire to feel important.
#1 He doesn't want to be in jail for sexual Harrassment.
#2 No pressure, we just don't want to do it every time.
#3 We don't want to chase. You ghost us or talk about other guys chasing you. We done.
#4 The best part is getting to know someone. We want peace, but also a good woman, sometimes. No Drama.
#5 wether its by looks or character this is true.
Ladies, we (men) are pretty simple people. Just communicate honestly and openly with us. No games, no tests. It takes courage to approach a lady and risk rejection and we have the upmost respect for any lady that approaches us. We’re all looking for someone special and it’s not easy sometimes so we need to respect each other and just be honest and polite.
One thing I would add is - if you've made your interest clear and he's not responding, that IS because he's not into you. It's not that he didn't notice, or that he's just shy or something.
So, don't get your son to threaten him or your daughter to try to force him to kiss you. And don't grope anyone's arse until there is mutual enthusiastic consent.
That is about my personal experience, by the way.
Also from personal experience - if he's not into you, and you know he's not interested in you, don't get revenge on him by trying to embarrass him. Also, if you're his supervisor at work, don't hit on him. I had to leave a job to get away from sexual harassment from my supervisor - that was decades ago, but I'll go to my grave hating that woman
I feel a big tug o war in emotions. Loneliness and having to deal with the games women play. Extreme business plays a big part.
Thanks for sharing this! These are things that need to be discussed more. The shame of this is the men and women are more lost today than they have been. All of this should be taught through families. These are the types of things moms share with daughters, dads share with sons and is learned in the family. Older folks need to be mother and father figures to those younger than us.
Sick of dating - this is first on my list. Dating is horrible. Lots of expectations, high chance of drama if I date newly met girl and at the same time risk to be simply friendzoned if I won't make a move fast enough.
A very important one. I can not stress it enough if a man genuinely likes a woman. He will make time for her. He might be very busy, but he will make the effort. Only unless something unexpected happened, he will cancel the date by appollogyzing and suggesting a new day and time. Now, a player will do exactly the same, but it's not genuine. He's probably seeing another woman (who he prefers over you, but using you as a backup if thing's do not work out with the other woman) It's very hard to tell the difference in the beginning. Important that women know this. So I understand why women who have been played and hurt, do not take any chances when a genuine guy cancels the date. Player's are unbelievable good at reading the body language and know exactly when and what to say to a woman, to melt her heart. I know a guy (player) who was dating 3 women at the same time over a period off 3 months. Keeping a record with whom he did what. Literally dropping one off and going to the other woman. As a male friend he's great, but I feel bad for all the women who fall for him. A lot.
Nah.
There is some leeway. We can de-prioritize some things. Give up a bit of videogame time, or stop taking the dogs for a walk, or cut down our gym time. Tell a few friends that our game nights or barbecues need to take a spot on the backburner because of a new relationship. Let mum and dad know why we've not been around for a cuppa. Cut down on some sleep for a while.
But these are temporary changes to an already full dance card to squeeze in a little bit extra.
Are women doing the same? You'd assume they have to be.
So why do you portray it as only the man has to make time and effort for her? Other than to make it sound like the man has to do all the effort and chasing so that women don't feel they need to match that effort?
When my divorce is finalized later this year... I'm never seriously dating again. After 19 years married, with half of them stressful and entirely lacking any sense of peace, and being cheated on yet again, I'm done.
Dogs, family and friends for companionship, professionals and porn for physical needs. I will have my peace of mind and soul.
Ikr. My GSD is loyal as anything, and always at my side.
Kind of embarrassing that females of our OWN species let dogs out perform them for the title of Man's Best Friend.
Please research the effects of prostitution and pornography on self and society.
Sex actually isn't a need,, for men or for women. Accidentally thinking so has been very bad for society at large.
@@christendem I'm not going to be a celibate monk for the rest of my life. I've mostly been one for almost 11 years now, and I'm done with that. Also, I'm not going to be seeking serious relationships ever again. I'm too old to gamble with that any more, and I just want my peace.
3 of the last 5 serious relationships I had involved some form of infidelity on my partner's part. The women were from multiple religious and non-religious backgrounds. One said she was a devout Christian, one was an orthodox Jew, and the other is agnostic. It made no difference.
So I will do what I need to in order to meet my biological imperative, as I'm not looking to join a monastery any time soon. Nor will I ever entertain the possibility of marriage again.
I find me a nice woman as you are describing, I will worship her. As you said men likes peace. Thank you.
Very true comments. More to this: do not test men or play mind games.
6:32 100%!!! I am much better off alone than with anyone that stresses me out more than work does.
If he wanted to he would applies to women actually. If she doesn’t keep plans, show up, call, text, whatever, its because she doesnt want to.
Howdy. Yeah.
It took me some experience to understand that when she cancels a date it means she was not into me. The reason for cancelling is of no importance. Women will conjure up any reason but not tell the truth.
One occaison was a cancellation only a few hours before scheduled meeting. The reason given was she had visitors. I replied that I get the drift and that she could have suggested a new time to show an honest reason.
That did the trick. The insults and the fury i received.
Regards.
Is there the equivalent of Emily’s channel talking about women, with this level of honesty & insight, like hosted by a guy???
Would women watch that? I would. Do they watch this channel or her Tik-Toks? What are the demographics?
I’m just wondering how we all get on the same page and better our relationships overall. Honesty, integrity, respect, loyalty, faithfulness, caring, love, and no games… all of that wins.
@rex-racer the Dadvocate does something similar. She does a "Womansplaining women to men" series thing that points out what women can actually be thinking or meaning. She's not an exact equivalent to Emily but she also shares valuable insights.
Try "Hoe math"
Honestly, most women don't want to hear the truth because it will reflect poorly on themselves and make them FEEL bad.
I’m here to learn more about relationships and what men want. I hate mind games and drama. I want a peaceful, healthy relationship.
So I’m researching what a healthy relationship looks like.
Yes there are other channels that talk about what women need in a healthy relationship.
You might try:
Jimmy On Relationships, and Magnetize Your Man.
There are actually a lot of these healthy relationships channels on CZcams.
I’m studying up for when I get back out there. 🤷♀️
I watch the videos. I like them a lot
That last point reminded me of something I saw recently that went something like this:
Wife: Honey, I don't know what you see in my messy bun & frumpy clothes. I feel so ugly! 🥺
Husband: Babe, I'm in love even with your boogers. You're beautiful, regardless! ❤
I hope more ladies can learn from your channel & become the best versions of themselves, for themselves & their husbands! 🙏🏼
You first. You abused your last husband and havent learned from that. Now youve taken that same tactic to strangers
@@jimmusthegrimmace ok
@@whitechicacooks5780 not going to work. Every hypocritical comment you make, im going to see it. Dont dish it if you wont take it
@@jimmusthegrimmace Feel free to waste your time. I escaped someone like you. Might as well find someone else to bully.
@@whitechicacooks5780 whatever nonsense you responded with is hidden by youtube. I guess more abusive language, figures.
Nailed it as always!
Thank you for this one too! These are things that men need to hear. Sometimes you just get muddled with all the things going on in your head.
#4 is why I'm choosing to stay single. Maybe some day I'll be up for putting myself through this again.
The point about peace should be number one. Zero, even. Dating should be something that enriches your life, makes it more fun, more fulfilling.
If all you bring is a host of problems and drama and pressure and control, who is gonna bother with that? Someone insane, clearly.
Number 2 is spot on! Its crazy how much I just want her to send a text to me first
Great video and the point sick of dating is the stage im at right now thanks emily w for another great topic
You talk about peace like it comes and goes. We crave peace, and if a woman takes that away from us, why do we need you? It is so much more peaceful being single.
If we like what you're doing during dating, we want you to keep being that way after the relationship has gone more 'official', whether it's partnership or marriage. We don't want a 'bait and switch', once we've invested so much in you we can't or won't walk away, no matter how sucky it's gotten.
5:45 ive not dated in 5 years... 5 years. The unknown and drama is a huge part of it. How the hell do i even attempt to date again lol? People today are so... different and I am learning to value my peace and alone time more for myself then needing to be with a partner, albeit slowly, because i miss having my special somone who is with me, but i am learning to do whatever i want again. I feel like my life is falling behind my friends and family since i am single and its tough to get back into the dating scene. I guess i need to be more outgoing and less of an introvert at times.
I would really love to see some sort of collab between you and JimmyonRelationships. I've been seeing a bunch shorts from both of you recently and I feel it would be great having the two of you talk about healthy relationships, sharing thoughts that from come from both sides. Relationships are a two-way street and it's not just men who should be understanding of their female partners, but women should do the same for their male partners.
I want to discuss something with you🤷♀️🤦♂️
... THE best way to "tell" a man you like him is SHOW IT TO HIM don't talk just show it to him and there are hundreds of way how to do it ..he will noticed 100%
Fantastic breakdown! Your insights resonate deeply with the intricacies of modern dating. The emphasis on clear communication and understanding the pressures both men and women face is spot on. As a fellow dating coach, I appreciate your wisdom and look forward to more enriching discussions on navigating the complex world of relationships. Cheers to empowering individuals in their dating journeys!
Emily, this may be your most on-point video yet.. keep up the good work. We men appreciate you speaking up for us 👍👍
I'm a male 54 and just not into dating anymore or into the idea of getting married just not interested anymore I love my singleness it's a gift from God 😊
I'll put it in this form? Dating is an investment (for both genders), when both genders actually acknowledge such, and appreciate the other's participation/vesting...then there's a possible path forward... Without that, from either side..? Then the actual realized ROI of the other party is...... nothing....
Thanks, Emily. I think you do really good job of tell people how a lot of men honestly feel. Especially agree with #4 in this video. I'm in my 50s and I've stopped dating because at this point in my life peace of mind matters a heckva lot more than the drama. Keep up the good work!
Sure! How you like to do that?
What I women to know before dating:
1. Don't have a list of qualities you want in a man. Confine yourself to just two demands beyond that he is clean. Otherwise, your list will grow as he starts meeting those on your original list.
2. Don't talk about your ex or your conquests starting in junior high school. My wife died and I don't talk about her. I have told my girlfirend nothing about other women. I simply say I had dance companions as I am a very high level dancer. . . and that I had no other girlfriends before her.
3. Don't be a drama queen.
4. And now for the secret that mommy never told you or your girl friends. Women do ask men to go on a dates! They can and do find ways to express an interest. It not shameful or demeaning to do so.
Right on the money Emily!!!
Ladies if we did something for you or a few somethings, it's your turn. Don't expect us to keep giving.
My ex asked me, "what are your needs?"
I said, "I just want to be happy with what I have. To enjoy life as it is." Somehow this isn't acceptable now. I've achieved my goals (which are admirable), I'm old enough now that I don't need to be constantly chained to "growth." Love me for what I am and what I've accomplished. Don't hate me for not wanting to continue to change or strive to meet your standards.
Very true. All it is , is common sense , really.
Try to explain common sense to any Gen Z
@@dougbarnowski5224 Try to explain common sense to any Boomer, Gen X, or Millennial. If fails just as badly, because common sense is a myth.
@@UnconventionalReasoning Gen Z is the WORSE! The fact that you did not know that explains that you do not keep up with current events. Your welcome
@@dougbarnowski5224 GenZ is fine. The fact that you think they are "WORSE" shows that you extrapolate things you see very poorly. Learn to reason better. I could help you learn. You're welcome.
Don’t waste your time with unconventional reasoning… they come to troll
Emily you are absolutely right
Yup 👍. have to feel confident enough 😊
#2: Not only does the man have to take the lead, he has to do it not knowing what she wants but knowing she will think less of him if he does something wrong (that he doesn't know is wrong).
Number 4! Couldn’t have said it better myself. Hate dating. Took numerous breaks from it in the past only to decide to be positive, try it again, all that BS…until finally deciding I was finished for good.
I had that peace for 26 years but unfortunately it came to an end when my wife passed. Since then, I met someone online that proved to be a total opposite of what I was used to. It seems this person thrives on chaos and drama, something I cannot tolerate. From that encounter I'm no longer enthused to date and value my peace even if it means living by myself from this point on.
Yes, peace and no drama.
I agree with this video. One point you talked about that I think would be a good spin off is peace. Specifically the difference between quiet and peace. A woman can be quiet but not peaceful.
I gave up on women in my mid 30’s. I could not take the games and the drama anymore. I’ve had the most blissfully peaceful 30 years since.
Last time I had a gf I was 28. I'm almost 38 now.
Then a guy wants to date a woman, he sees the things he likes about her. If a woman concentrates on the things she dislikes about herself, she is missing the point of why he's interested. And then she might make up reasons for him, which typically ends badly.
@deltoro8816 This blames women.
Broken clocks are right twice a day
Thank you! Completely agree with you! Keep doing what you are doing, absolutely perfect! :)
Pretty much nailed it.
I lost my wife of 43 years 3 years ago. Before she died of cancer she told me she was OK if I wanted to date someone or even marry them. At 63 I had no desire for anyone else. I still don't. As usually you are correct on what men want. To me the main thing men want is peace no drama. If I was to date it would have to be a widow. I don't want someone's throw away. By that I mean someone who did not choice right to begin with or could not get along too much drama. I have not found anyone but I am not looking.
Good video, spot on!
Your first statement "if he wanted to he would" has very broad applications for both men and women. We all have mental stumbling blocks that keep us from doing everything we might want to do. This includes getting more exercise, eating healthy, reading more books, not being afraid to speak out in public, clean out the car, etc.
DOPE SLAPPED AT 81 YOA! now I have began to understand ME as a 'guy'!
i haven't been on a date in over 15 years. i'm fine.
I was sort of background listening to this, and between item 3 and item 4 came an ad that started with the words "Shape MATTERS!" and I'm like "Whoa there! Hold up! Not gonna say you're wrong, but I think women already know that one... or at least they think they do... oh wait, we're talking about an electric toothbrush, nevermind."
Honesty, up front, no drama, no games, respectful, mutual effort, loyal, values and a good heart/ character . Kinda of simple.
Hey Emily, you are so right on the money on all 5 things. The women I have met in the past really need to understand these things because they are really clueless… I think the biggest problem is they meet a few bad guys and they think we’re all the same. Most women who have bad fathers are probably going to pick the same type of guy too…
To give it room to grow. Love.
I agree see it through before or find someone else that you click with
Personally, I'm glad to be single for years and not looking. I now have more time to spend with my daughters and grandchildren. Ex wife and I have a great relationship and I don't have drama in my life.
If a woman wants me the way I am now, she has to realize (to borrow a concept from couples/partnership dancing) that she is the picture, and has to fit in my frame. I have time to accommodate her in many ways, and will prioritize her a lot, but if it's so much that I lose what it means to be me, she will lose me.
Peace.. omg.. yes!! I didn't date for 16 years because i valued my peace far more than dealing with the stress of Brats!
Spot on!
#4 100% correct
Thanks Emily
I believe you are right on the money. Thank you.
I am 46, going through a divorce, amicably separated, and I have started to casually date. I don't think I can do it. 🤣 It is just not worth the hassle. I enjoy my life and being single and living the way I want. 😊
At some point I might start to look seriously, but for now, no way.
100% correct.
Yup definitely want peace
Emily, I really enjoy your videos. Once more I agree with all five points you just made!!! I was wondering how you know all of this deep down men stuff? I constantly watch your videos and say to myself "I do that" or "I did that" or even "That's How I feel" Also, Congrats on your new born! My wife has 4 adult children by a previous marriage. My wife has six grand kids. The latest was born Monday 1-22-2024.
..#5, the funny one, give signs, let him know !!!!!..that's huge , yes..probably the most important of the other 4 most important before, well done, shout it, let this video go global, it will be needed..! 😊😉 thanks Emily, to analyse this and want to help other rightious women..
As always a good video. 👍
That's my girl 😊
bottom line: a man's not going to invest in something that has no likelihood of getting a return on investment.
these are things that give him the idea there won't be a return on his investment:
not being ready on time.
complaining about any minor details. - and to be clear, if you order your chicken cooked well, and your steak arrives bloody rare, that's not minor. but if you keep complaining after the problem has been fixed, that's a red flag. related is LOOKING for things to find fault with.
being untouchable. he's not shopping for home decor, just like he's not shopping for a table.
any form of playing hard to get.
refusing to express an opinion except to shoot down his suggestions.
to get really blunt: if you don't make his evening any better than it would be without you, you're just an expense.
These are all good, but for number 4, I’m there now and have no plans to date or pitch myself out there, ever. I’m at an age where I just don’t have time for any disruption in my life while I focus on my son. My peace is more important than the stress of dating.
#3, don't ever play the let's make him Julious game, if he's worth his salt he'll just want away and never look back.
1. Women rarely fall for guys who put them on a pedestal, and men constantly fail if they do.
2. Men face hundreds of micro-rejections every day. In this hostile environment where men are blamed, shamed, falsely accused, scrutinised within an inch of their lives, where once men were accepted if they had a steady job, today they have to have an exceptional job, and be judged worthy to sustain a woman’s lofty lifestyle, while he works 60 hours a week. And he must be tall. Most men who are seen as average to women are in-fact unseen by women.
3. Women who, very early on, are not clear about texts, like reasonable reply gaps, or if she changes dates or locations that she agreed to initially, tells a man that he might not be the only log in the fire, that she might have more than one guy she’s, and she’s playing one off the other.
4. The juice has to be worth the squeeze. Women have to at-least give the impression that she’s able to meet the guy half-way. Nagging, complaining, criticising is not what men want.
5. If a man suspects he’s being friend zoned, he’s not only going to lose interest, if he has any self-respect, he will be insulted to be belittled that way. Men, if you know your worth, you won’t tolerate that.
This is the real list for modern women.
1, How tall he is, less than 6ft it's a no.
2, how much money you have and can you pay her rent too,.
3, has he a highly successful business or job, or a side hustle - even if it's dr#g dealing!
4, does he have his own home and a nice car? Image is important to women these days.
5, how often can he afford to take her on holidays if it less than every other month he is a loser!
Don't waste your time.