I Don't Hang Out With Japanese Friends// Girl Abroad Ep. 15
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- čas přidán 21. 03. 2019
- Many people have been asking why I don't hang out with Japanese friends. There are many reasons why and I will explain!
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Hi! My name is Kelly and I am an English teacher living in Japan! I studied Japanese and education at Michigan State University with a minor in TESOL so I am living the dream!
I`m also a singer/songwriter and love to travel and eat lots of yummy food around the world!
I post videos about lifestyle, health, and travel.
Please don't be afraid to comment on what I can improve on as well as on any travel tips you have or cool places to visit!
皆さん、初めまして。
私の名前はケリーです。
私は東京に住んでいて英語を教えています。
ミシガン州立大学で日本語と教育を専攻していました。
TESOLも勉強したので自分の夢をかなえることが出来ました。
私は日本の生活や旅行についてのビデオを作ります。
歌うことも大好きなのでそれもチャンネルでお見せしますね。
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I am a Japanese old woman but I love to watch your channel. I had been stayed United State long long ago when I was a high school for homestay program. So I had been host family for foreigners. If u have any troublesome please let me know I will help you
がんばって👍💕
Sorry for my poor English
I also love to watch Mariana’s
mame I just came across your comment, thank you ❤️🌻
What a lovely offer-
Locals already have their own social circle with friends from childhood, co-workers and family. They aren't desperate about making new friends, especially with foreigners. They don't expect foreigners think and feel the same way, so they don't feel like they can share anything personal. They may want to practice their English with you or befriend you just out of curiosity, but these relationships often end up being superficial and not satisfying. This isn't just in Japan, it's in other places too.
Not true in America.
Yeah for sure. I have noticed this in America also. If you have ever heard of the phrase "Minnesota Nice". It can mean being courteous, reserved, and not putting up a fuss for things. It can also mean passive aggressive, not meeting new people, and such.
@@FrymanJack Glad you mentioned "Minnesota Nice" because that is the opposite of superficial relationships of Japan toward foreigners.
Whereas in Minn., the culture is towards courteousness, in Japan the culture is towards not getting too close or personal. Both are opposite reactions to differences between locals and outsiders.
In practical terms, you'd find distant cultures as Hmong from SE Asia happily settled in Minnesota. You won't find such large groups of foreign cultures happily settled in Japan.
@@vp4744 I am Japanese who studied in Australia when I was young (more than 20 years ago...), so I can sort of understand both sides (though I am not a Caucasian living in Japan). You can actually have "real" relationships in Japan no matter where you come from, "IF" you are pretty much assimilated to our culture and speak our language.
If you don't speak the local language well enough or behave in a way that is acceptable to the people around you, you can only have "superficial" relationships. That's the way it goes wherever you are. I do know quite a few non-Japanese people living here (Asians, Caucasians and Africans) some of whom grew up here and speak perfect Japanese w/o an accent. An American (Caucasian) friend of mine who grew up here and spent a few years in the US to study when she was young, ended up coming back to Japan since she didn't feel safe living there. She is now happily married to a Japanese guy.
When I was in Australia, I had some non-Japanese Asian friends studying in Australia, and they were often complaining about the locals for not being nice to them. I thought, in my mind (meaning I didn't actually say this to them), that they first had to learn their culture and language before they started complaining, b/c their command of English was just so bad and they were mostly hanging out w/ the people from their home countries... How could they be accepted by the locals??? "No chance" (which is a quote from a Japanese comedian, lol).
I didn't have any problems in Australia other than occasional (i.e. once a month, roughly) racist remarks targeted to me from total strangers on the streets, which may not happen in the current day.
I find Calico's statement somewhat true when I first arrived in US. I only made a few (under 5) people locally (grown and raised in US) who were willing to be 'real' friends and hung out. Otherwise, most of my friends are International students. These days, my 'local friends' are met via marriage and only a couple from college days are still in the same town.
I used to be a travel nurse in America. I understand your situation a little bit because even in America when you're new to a region and only there temporarily it can be hard to connect with a lot of people. They will have families and responsibilities in the community that you won't have being a traveler.
I think you’ve forgotten home, or at least what most places outside Japan are like on a day to day basis. 99% of people are not youtubers, and even “regular people” who post IG stories and want to take pictures don’t necessarily want to be the center of attention in front of a camera. Nothing to do with nationality. Despite the perception, being on camera is the exception everywhere, not the norm.
Yeah I but I think Japanese are extremely averse to being on camera. If you’ve ever watched Japanese TV, when the news records bystanders or witnesses they blur everyone out. In the US that almost never happens unless you’re in witness protection or something. Most of us don’t mind being on camera that much. I don’t like being the center of attention and am pretty shy but if someone wanted to talk to me about something I witnessed I’d probably be like, sure, and not care whether it gets broadcast. Then if someone mentioned that he saw me on the news, I’d be like, yeah pretty weird huh? And that would be the end of it. Japanese definitely have a strong phobia about standing out somehow or being judged. I think Americans don’t care as much.
I'm glad you inserted the comments about friends OUTSIDE of Tokyo. I lived in Japan for some time (not in Tokyo) and would go out with friends almost every night. So, I wasn't really following you early in the video. I find most Japanese to be up for just about anything and any time. Especially if it involved drinking, eating, or karaoke. LOL. Love my stay in Japan and will always remember the friends I made.
I was so excited for this update and even MORE excited you decided to post earlier than scheduled!!! In looove with this series ❤️
I totally agree with your "Do NOT move to Tokyo" statement. I am Japanese and have been living in New York for years and would like to say the same thing. If you choose to live anywhere where you would love to hang out with more American people, do NOT move to New York. Most of my friends here are non-American foreigners. But when I used to live in Texas, I had more American friends. So, not only Tokyo. It is quite difficult to make friends and hang out with them in any big cities around the world. People are just so busy.
Yup, that's so true! Just hang out with who you want and who you can, don't worry what people think you should or shouldn't be doing!
Nice name! I, too, am a Gretchen living in Tokyo 😂
That day was so much fun!! Can’t wait for you to come back so we can have more adventures together!!💛💛💛💛
This is a really big eye opener. Thank you so much for sharing!
First of all girl you rock and this series is awesome. Second don’t sweat the small stuff, you have a heck of a tribe already. Thank you for inspiring my wife and I with your videos to travel over to Japan this last summer. It was scorching hot but we had the time of our lives and we went to some places that you had been in your videos. Again thank you and keep on inspiring and living your best life.
Loved this! You have such beautiful friends. Wish I was shopping with you.
Dope you’re coming to LA !! Hope you like it over here
I started watching and thought: "Oh dear, yes, I'd make more of an effort to join the local community..." then I remembered when I spent 7 years teaching English in Italy and even though I am half Italian most of my friends were English speaking foreigners! So I really see your point, it is so much easier to make friends with work colleagues or people who understand what you do, I also found that my Italian friends already had their family and friends established and it was a bit tricky to fit in with them (unless you were dating) people who have moved and adapted to another culture like you have, will certainly have a lot in common with you. After 7 years in Italy I did have a mix of friends, then I had to start all over again when I came back home!!!
I just want to say that I LOVE your editing and vlogging style. Out of all of the JVloggers out there you give so much useful information and the way you film and edit makes it so interesting. How real you are really resonates with me who lives here too (in Osaka) for about as long as you. If I were to give advice, I would say the exact same things that you do in your videos. I love this Girl Abroad series, even as someone who experiences and knows what life is like here already.
Looks like you and your friends had fun great video as always Kelly
Hi lyzzie :) Thx for updating culture avout Japan as usual! I sent a message (not business enquiry but...) about month ago and hope you've got it! In short, I've got inspiration from what you do and wanted to get involved (be some help for you to keep continue making videos) as I have freeeee time for a while.
Anyway, hope to come across you someday and enjoy your trip!!
Hi! I started watching you're videos maybe a couple months ago and now I look forward to them! I love that you explore the culture a little deeper and genuinely love it because that's just how I am! I would love to make Japanese friends but I think it's all in the connection you have with a person whether they be from Japan or a different country. Keep being creative and yourself because it's awesome 😊
Full of good, sound advice ... Spot on !!! 💓💓💓
Love your posts!
I agree that you should hang around people that make you happy. When I lived in Germany I hung around the most with the people I worked with (mostly Brits and Russians), but I worked in a theme park, so there were other artistes from all over the world that I was friends with too! Plus my German friends of course. I befriended like-minded people to have fun with, and that's the way it should be!
It's not easy being away from home, and it's important to be happy, as you're less likely to be homesick 💖💖
Thank you for sharing this video. Keep doing you always. People sometimes forget the important things like the new location has to fit you also.
Kelly, I’m glad you chose this subject for the video. So much I’ve wondered about! I would really appreciate it if you would talk about their work ethic a bit more. I mean growing up, I’ve always thought they work 7 days a week, parents are very strict on the kids to work all the time and go to school. Like I have always thought they have no social life outside of school and work. So could you explain their work habits a bit more, if the beliefs are true etc. Thank you!
xo
Oh wao! I totally got it when you said don’t move to Tokyo, and how in Nagoya you felt people had more time. I also started in the Gifu area (Nagoya on weekends), then moving to Tokyo felt nice but harder to meet people. I think that’s why currently I’m gravitating towards Yokohama more now. Plus a few more caribbean people there too. BTW, love F21 and H&M !! xD I wish I could meet you and be friends!
Thank you for making a video on this topic. I don't know what to expect from my exchange program that's coming. We will all be college students so I hope they will have time :) Japanese and foreign as long as we get along I want to meet new people and hang out.
Hope you are having great time in USA!
Love your videos/vlogging from Sweden with love.Your voice is perfect by the way.
Carrying an umbrella in Shibuya can be lethal!!! 😆 Hope you are having an amazing time in LA and miss you lots!!! ❤️❤️❤️
After getting stabb in my eyes by unbrellas, I started to use my glasses every time I leave my home! One god thing, I realy need those glasses!
Magnus Påhlsson that’s what I’m going to be doing from now on! ☂️🕶
I went to the new Starbucks to shoot a vlog on Tuesday but we only had to wait about 30 minutes. We arrived at about 10am. Aww, I love Moke's cafe! The wing things on their drinks make me smile.
Omg Have you lived in Nagoya?! I work there! I’m so glad you seem to have had a great time in Nagoya😍
You guys are so fun and cute with all your cameras 🤗💕
I agree with you we have to enjoy with people of whole world so that we can learn a lot ....thanks for the videos with good ideas..and you have great message conveying skills!!
This is very helpful☺️
I have to agree with you, while it's always good and probably fun to immerse yourself in the culture and language, you shouldn't have to have that be the ONLY thing. You have to be able to find comfort in something personal and that's usually related to your original culture and there's nothing wrong with that
Well, I am living in Japan on and off for many years and recently since beginning of 2017, it's impossible for me to find Japanese friends. Overseas no problem, here, it is like I have an invisible something saying "do not approach and run for the hills" hahaha - super 0 Japanese friends. I think it will come at one point but it takes time.
I always find it funny when I am in foreign countries. People tend to gravitate towards western chain restaurants. For example you will see long line ups to get into a chain for a burger or a donut or coffee. Yet local places in Korea, Japan or China have such better tasting food. So when abroad I avoid the American fast food chains and stick to what locals do best.
life's bout life experiences. I've gone to europe alone and part of Asia too. I really enjoy seeing these vlogs grow as you grow into more of your own love for Japan. It's an amazing journey.
Hey Kelly I just arrived in Japan for work and my friends back home say I should vlog while I’m here. Do you have any advice, I already made 2 videos love your vids btw
Hey! I was wondering how you feel about the consumer culture in Japan(and almost everywhere). I know you made a video about how collecting trinkets and fandom stuff is a common hobby in Japan. I'm curious about what you think about all the disposable stuff used in Japan for the sake of cuteness and convenience.
Oh hey that's me at 8:53 Kelly, you're so kind! thank you for being so awesome when I met you! I just realized when you said "I'm not that great" I said "i know" because I misheard what you said and was nervous, now i'm embarrassed...
itsumo kyameron don’t be embarrassed! You were so genuine when we met you! Thank you for saying hello!! Kelly was so happy to meet you 💛
Love your videos! I'm Japanese, but born and raised here in New York. The work life is pretty similar here...my hours are 9-5, but my commute is 2 hours each way. Manhattan is also super congested so the umbrella situation is the same. I have very few Japanese friends, and the ones I do I know are raised here, so we speak in English. I would love to travel to Japan more often than once a decade to see my relatives, but it's really hard to get time for a long vacation. SO, the next best thing is to watch your videos and live vicariously through you! Have fun in LA!
I’m glad you’re enjoying my videos!
I thought American people get long vacation easily.
Has coffee before going to get coffee! 🤣 this is totally me!
Hye, I live in Shizuoka prefecture. It’s been almost 2 years for me living here in japan. And I was thinking about moving to a new place new city. I was pretty confused to whether move to Tokyo or just be in other inaka. Thank you for making things little less complicated(by giving your thoughts about moving to Tokyo). 👍🤝
People just can't say what you should do or not. The most important thing is your happiness.Thank you for this video, it was very interesting, I really love them, you let me know all this important staff ❤️
Be there for those who are around however you can.
Thank you for sharing this ^_^
Making friends in Japan is hard! Even as students, my friends would always either be studying or at their baito, we rarely get free time to meet. (And this is in Oita)
How long will you be in Japan? I would like to visit Japan next year. Been watching you tubers doing their videos about Japan, gathering info.
I agree with this video on so many levels! Even in Korea, I made very close Korean friends in the countryside way easier than I have in Seoul. I spend most of my time around my foreign friends...among which there is only ONE other American! Most of my friends are from different areas of the UK, and it's so much fun to learn about their slang and their way of life. Even though most of my friends are foreigners, we all have different perspectives and ideas, and we understand what it's like to live so far away from home with the intention of never going back. Thank you for sharing this with everyone!
Notifications on💕
I couldn't agree more!! I also had many international friends as well while studying abroad, because we sometimes see the culture differently from local people and always nice to share this opinion:)
Btw, my friends used to work at Moke's and I like that place!!
Do you know that it's almost Cherry Blossom season?? I really want you to make a video about Japanese Cherry Blossoms. I'd like you to go "river Shakuzii" and take a walk. It's really beautiful place and I lived there in Japan(i'm studying English in Canada)
Please visit The Deck coffee shop!! It's near the Meiji Shrine and it's such a cute little cafe.
I always want to hangout with foreign people , though my goddamn shy personality gets me away from doing so. If I speak in English fluently, I would carry out , I’m studying English by myself. 😅
i'm assuming you're japanese. don't worry, you don't need to speak fluently, often foreigners want to learn and speak more japanese, and when you don't understand each other you can use a translator to get the basic point across.
japanese doesn't really befriend foreigners
Haha you hit the nail right on the head xD I feel sorry for you making a lot of efforts on hanging out with Japanese😎 We have a penchant for putting our job before anything else( I call it workaholic)🤯
Keep up with it mate! :D
In the beginning, I was set on spending time with Japanese friends and not other foreigners. For the reasons you mentioned, it didn't work out like that. Years later, I spend most of my time with fellow foreigners and I'm ok with that.
I’m Japanese woman. I live in France for over 15 years. My husband is French. I’m not raciste but I can’t meet any French friends. I work with French co-workers but I can’t fit into western mentality. I meet easily Japanese friends here in France. I also have a Chinese friend. I appreciate them very much and hang out with them. I think mentality issue is important. Same for relationship with my husband. Not so easy.
@ChanoineStraub Thank you for your comment. I 've never lived in other countries so your feeling
for French people comparing with other nationalities was interesting.
That looks like so much fun and yes umbrella's in Shibuya just doesn't work well at all lol. ^_^'
I was wondering u said u used to live in Aomori..did u have any ear problems when living there?..I know that sounds silly but I found when I moved to Aomori that on top of really bad allergies..which I did not have before moving to Japan.. my ears have been really bothering me. -_-,
So I asked around and everyone says yes that's a problem here..but no one really knows y that is..or how to fix it without going to a doctor..which I really don't want to do but ja have to go. -_-,
About the time you said "I will tell you my opinion" an ad cut in from Temple University about studying in japan (Tokyo). I thought at first it was part of your video. How Ironic that you were about to say do not move to Tokyo . I think your advice has more wisdom in it. Great video, honest and up front as alsways. Thanks.
It’s better to have a wide range of diversity among friends IMO. I live in Japan and my friends are Japanese, Spanish, American...Nikkei if you will. They all speak different levels of English. Communication is important but there are ways around that for sure.
Wow I really love your videos,I just subscribe so I'm new to you channel,So I been bouncing around from one video to the other before you met your boyfriend and then afterwards,I think it's great that you talk English because I couldn't understand you even though I'd love to learn to speak Japanese,And I say hang out with whom you're happy with Truly why does it matter,Thank you for the great video and I understand it's afternoon in Japan,Since I'm in the USA it's a.m. here,Very early morning a.m. here and,Thank you sorry for writing a book I love your channel it's great thank you ,thank you do more ,afternoon for you but its the same day though.
I study in Japan、and foreigners can't get Japanese to hang out with them even if they tried. There's a big social divide like something out of West Side Story. Nobody attempts to bridge the gap due to language barrier and cultural barrier.
I completely agree with you.If someone want to live abroad, first of all they should learn the language of the country. It is very important to adjust themself to the society and be able to communicate with people.
@@agktmagua true indeed. But I find--er at least where I study--that even my friends who speak Japanese fluently or even well enough to converse、the gap is still there.
There is a feeling as if there’s a wall no matter if you speak the language or not. It’s definitely possible to make Japanese friends but those friends need to be cultured and open minded to learning about another person from another country if that makes sense.
@@KellyMorita It does! Thanks Kelly!
Maurice w
guess you speak only with your image.
Do you have any tips for someone wishing to move to Japan? I’ve been wanting to move there for a while but I’m not sure where to start at all, I really need some advice.
I hope you’re having THE BEST TIME EVER. Congratulations!!!!
Is it hard to find an apartment in Japan? Especially if you do work and travel and you have to move several times?🤔
I would definitely wanna hang out w you guys if Im in Japan! I'm seriously considering living there for a year or two while working :)
I think that it's hard to have friends in America too. None of mine talk to me. I have to talk to them. Half the time they don't answer. Two of my friends are out of state. I recently hung out with two of my friends that live closer. One who is always busy that I never see. It was probably a two year gap between that visit and the previous one. People can be ridiculous.
birds of a feather flock together
Wooow looks so nice the restaurant I will go next time in Tokio! Hope next week 😂
Gretchen is such a unique character....I love her energy. Beautiful girl🌸🌸🌸🌸💕
Your breakfast looks good!
Make it a game -- bumper umbrellas
Limiting yourself on who you meet and associate with would be counter productive for life experiences.
Don’t get me wrong, I like the other series that you’ve started, but the Girl Abroad vlog series is by far my favourite. I love Japan, it’s such a wonderful place. ❤️
Can totally relate to 'too busy' and 'schedules don't match' reasons for not being able to hang out with Japanese friends/colleagues. Working a regular Japanese job, it can happen to foreigners too!
Definitely!
Thanks for this amazing video. You are right, you should just make friends with people that care about you whenever you can.
That is interesting thanks for sharing your thoughts about Japanese friends. I was ditched by an Instagram Japanese friend the last minute when I was in Japan last October. It makes sense now given he is in university and may have last minute plans to study.
Could you do some of your video in Japanese with subtitles?? I'd love to hear the spoken language! 🙌🏻
Lilly Fortutne good idea
Somehow, my friend that lives in Chiba actually made mostly Japanese friends. I guess it works for some and doesn’t for others. He has been living in japan for 9 years tho and would be the only person I know if I decide to move to japan lol. Also, it’s too bad I had work today or I would have drove my ass to little Tokyo for your spontaneous meet up 😩
I’m going to be in Tokyo in May! Do you do meet ups?
Yes lol
What’s the coffee thing that you had in this video and where can I get one? Lol
I'm looking moving to Japan in the next year or so and keep tossing up between Tokyo and Osaka. A bit part of choosing Tokyo is because my Japanese friends live there. But I am concerned they wont be able to actually spend much time with me anyway, so I don't know if I should really count that as a factor.
Take her advice, even if your Japanese friends live there. Make new ones in a different city. I came to Tokyo blindly thinking exactly the same way as you. I am still here and I learned the lesson.
I just found your vlog here just because I wonder with the same question. More difficult is I’m Thai and live in Tokyo alone. In my office I work with a lot of senior Japanese it’s kinda I’m a little boy alone here even I’m 38 already. So they are always not available for hanging out with me. By the way, I do really need friends here, and I’m working on it. I enjoy your video and I will back to see since your ep-1 how you start your life here. Thanks
Considering moving to Japan. Apart of me wants a new life experience.
Ruben Perez same but I’m broke
I'm in the same place. However, I have a family and it would be difficult.
Do it man. I’m 28 and am barely halfway into completing my degree so I can go work in Japan. I never wanted to go to college until I realized I wanted to go Live in Japan. Just do it.
@@lolunderstated533 props too you xD good luck with that degree
youll be sick of japan in 2 years
Gretchen is soo freaking adorable
When I saw the title I felt like what 😠 but it's actually very understandable.
I have many Japanese friends (well obviously) but most of them, I can never even show my camera cuz they get terrified 😭 lol
I work in Chicago and have Saturday/sunday off too! I was born in Nagoya. I'm glad you liked Nagoya. Have you ever had Japanese people who say "Yes maybe" when you ask them to hang out? I get some yes maybe answers from Japanese people
Hahah yes I have had that 😆
aaayyyy i live in chicago!
Hello Kelly. I think you are here in LA?
I’m actually really excited to go to Tokyo and meet ppl from a bunch of countries cause it’s such a hub
Yup I love it! I learn a lot and it’s opened my mind to new ideas and travel plans haha
I agree with your statement. You shouldn't have to stick 100% with the Japanese. Find your community and expand from there. Just like you, I've come to realize that foreigners find each other there which help create strong and lasting bonds. A little background on me, I'm Dominican/American who also lived and went to school in Japan. It's tough, how you describe, but with mental fortitude like you continuously show, you can get through anything 🇩🇴🇺🇲🇯🇵
頑張る！
I totally understand how you feel about Japan, I probably going to move over to Japan in a couple of years later since my gf is Japanese. I am currently living in Australia, Brisbane I do feel lonely and depress because of the environment where I am living in now.
はじめまして！
最近英語を勉強し始めて、ここに辿り着きました！
まだ英語が全然わからないから、外国の方と触れ合いたいなと思っても、なかなか交流する場がなく…(静岡東部に住んでます)
すごく羨ましいです！！
因みに私も歌が大好きです♪
Nice video. When I was in Tokyo I spent a lot of time with other foreigners too. I loved spending time with foreigners and meeting people from around the world. It was just awesome. I rarely got to spend time with Japanese people and it wasn't as enjoyable. In part due to the language barrier I think. I also found that Japanese people were not very good at including foreigners in their conversations. I'm sure your experience will vary on that depending on how out going you are, and how well you speak Japanese, and also the English level of your Japanese friends. If I got back to Japan I will definitely want to try anywhere BUT Tokyo in order to spend more time with Japanese people. I think it would work out better for the reasons you mentioned in your video.
I agree, Tokyo life is so hard to meet up with Japanese friends. I'd rather be in a smaller city! Are you going to CZcams Hanami? I can't wait to meet you all!
LOL at the apple skin part 😂 my mom is Japanese and she doesn't like the skin of fruit and I thought it was just her who disliked it, but now I know why now 😂. We never get the cut up fruits so I never noticed 😅
Hang out with whoever you like and make you feel comfortable. Thats my unsolicited advise.
Loved it and yes I agree . went to Enland met English, Irish , Australia ians, Spaniards, etc... My Sis married a Moroccan. Was a Great! Thanksgiving
What about me?😂😂😂Ok we have to hang again when you're back from LA so you won't forget about me🔥😂
You are my only Japanese friend 😭
Don't worry I will hang out with you when I come to Japan!!
You are korean it's ok
@@KellyMorita i think in tokyo ppl r colder than in smaller cites, like in ny usa
kawaii vlog as always
関西や九州などにも行ってみてください！また違った友達ができると思いますよ☺️
What's you job? English teacher? May be I search around your old videos :-)
I don't think it's only in Japan but most people havingn a 9-5 job anywhere in the world.. that's normal.
anyhow, you might be missing out so much not trying to fit in the society. Otherwise, what's the point of living in a foreign country???
Love you , your stunning ❤️
Generally the vast majoriy of Japanese give weight to a sense of security rather than curiosity in their human relationship.