A New Shirt & Some Thoughts on Starting T
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- čas přidán 10. 07. 2024
- This one's a bit personal, a bit vent-y, sorry. Basically I've been in a weird place lately, since I'm about to start HRT, and it's had an effect on my ability to put together videos, so I thought I'd chat about that while I start working on a new shirt.
-FIND ME ON...-
Instagram - @pins.and.weevils
Ko-fi - Ko-fi.com/pinsandweevils
-MUSIC-
The Parting by Kevin MacLeod
Link: incompetech.filmmusic.io/song...
License: filmmusic.io/standard-license
Pride by Kevin MacLeod
Link: incompetech.filmmusic.io/song...
License: filmmusic.io/standard-license
Good luck with everything. As someone who transitioned over a decade ago I can tell you two things. 1) it's worth it and gets better, and 2) these videos, clips, pictures etc of you now will be the thing that enables you to see the changes and recognise your accomplishments and how far you've come in your journey when you look back on them in the future. They are important because they will give you context and hope for the days when you are struggling. Good luck hun xx
Thank you a thousand times for coming as far as you have, Marius. You deserve to feel at home in your body. I'm a trans man as well, and I cannot tell you how much hope and inspiration you've given me, especially with this video. Thank you for sharing your work here and helping other people see the light at the end of the tunnel, all while you work to reach it as well. That's an incredible accomplishment, and even though I literally don't know you, I feel really proud of you. Stay safe, and keep being the amazing man that you are.
I have to say, reading this made me a bit emotional. Thank you so, so much for your kind words, they really mean the world!!! 💛💛💛
As another transmasculine costumer, I really appreciate your videos. Honestly, when I first watched your videos, it was the first time I really felt seen after spending months only seeing cis female creators in the costuming community. I love a lot of those creators as well, but it’s special to see someone like me participating in this hobby. Thank you for sharing what you’re comfortable to share! I have to say I feel like I’m at a similar crossroads, I’m 19 and it just now looks like I might be able to start my medical transition within the next two years instead of an amorphous “eventually”. I feel like costuming at times feels challenging as a trans person because so much of it is a reflection of my body, and medical transition will mean outgrowing a lot of the pieces I already worked hard to make. That said, I still want the change to come.... Anyway, congrats on starting T!! I hope it brings you all the joy you are looking for!
That’s so exciting, I have my fingers crossed for you! I’d definitely recommend looking into those very adjustable waistcoats that lace down the back. And yeah, I feel that about mainly cis female creators, I really struggled to find sources and videos when I started out!
unrelated to my other comment: i'm quite happy to see a plain linen shirt made! i don't see many male costubers, and a lot of the things i do come across (for any gender, frankly) are more upper class, or at least solidly middle class. while that's all quite interesting and fun, it's far more useful imo to see the construction of the items that were most common in their most basic forms - it gives a better sense of the overall construction methods and the historical lifestyle/economy/technology that made them.... make sense... and it's a good foundation for the more complex & expensive garments, because it's visually much easier to track what's happening. so - thank you for doing these sort of everyman clothes, your videos are some of the most interesting/useful that i've seen.
Ah, yeah, I’m going to be cannon fodder at the Battle of Prestonpans this year! 😆 But thank you so much-lower and lower middle class clothing is one of my biggest interests and I’m glad other people see the value in it too!
Vent, let it off your mind. Always feel ok to post a stitch and Bitch session “with” us. You’re awesome and inspiring. ❤️
Stitch and bitch, oml 😆 I’m absolutely going to be using that
@@pinsandweevils oh and, please don’t worry about not posting on a regular basis. I can’t even begin to fathom what you’re going through (although I must admit I love hearing your voice, as a baritenor-as my professor used to call me- I have always dreamed of singing those soaring high tenor lines....so I made up for that by learning to work on falsetto lol.) but I want you to know, at least on this platform, you have a biggest fan. Thank you for being here, and thank you for allowing us to take a part of this journey with you.
Wherever you are, whatever you do right now, bless you and be safe!
When I saw your lamb tape measure I freaked out because I swear I remember having the exact same one as a kid until it broke. I don’t even know where I got it. Crazy how life works.
You know, I have no idea where it’s from either, my grandmother gave it to me!
Five years is a long time to live in a body that isn’t yours. You are not selfish or weak for being tired and needing the world to see you as you are. Congratulations on the next beginning and thank you for sharing so generously. All my best.
Thank you so, so much! It feels like things have changed a lot for trans people even since I came out, and I think I’m still trying to learn to feel comfortable taking up space in the world, if that makes any sense?
Maybe seeing transitioning as a project might help with the current feeling of discomfort. You are on a journey to show your honest self to the world and that can take time, just like any craft or skill. But just because you aren't at the end result, doesn't mean documenting the process now takes away from that end 'product'. In fact, documenting it might help others working on their own 'projects', encountering their own obstacles.
Anyway, I'm glad you documented this and other projects, as I have a hard time finding good explanations for the construction of men's garments, even the simple ones. So, sincerely, thank you!
Congratulations! And yes I would love to see an updated shirt tutorial. I'm almost done my first shirt, which mostly follows the instructions your original video, and the shoulders are definitely the part where I struggled the most.
Congrats on finally starting T!!!
ugh yes, I definitely can relate to not wanting to hear your own voice recordings :(
Could you perhaps record just the sewing part of a lot of projects in the meantime, so it's mostly just shots of your hands, and then wait and do the intro and voiceover bits after your voice has cracked? Either way, I look forward to seeing videos of an upgraded & more comfortable Marius!
(Also if it's any consolation, I think you've got a pretty masculine face already! Definitely more than mine was before T)
Thank you!!! That’s a pretty solid idea tbh. 💛💛💛
I must be a complete idiot. Seriously. I’ve been following the two of you for ages and if it wasn’t for a couple of sly remarks you threw well into the narrative I might still have missed the point that you two are trans?! And I’m usually really good sorting that sort of thing. I’m a gay guy you know so it’s not like I’m unfamiliar with the concept? Not that you’re going to believe it from me (because what the hell do I know) but I think you’re both being way too hard on yourself about how the world sees you. Of course you’re going to be picky about everything you do. We all are. But you’re way more successful when you think you are. Way way way more more successful.
@@pinsandweevils Vincent has great advice. Listen to Vincent. I know a little bit about being perceived incorrectly. Mind you my struggle isn’t as existential as yours. But it’s not unrelated. It seems I pass as heterosexual. No seriously. In what universe do I not come off as a gay guy? I don’t understand that. But I will tell you that for years even gay man assumed I was straight. I mean what was I supposed to do, dye my hair rainbow colors? And wear a gold lame crop top? I mean seriously? Put your 50-year-old Marius hat on and think about the advice he would give the young you right now. I suspect wise old Marius (who has been around the block and is a hell of a natty dresser) would be way gentler and more understanding about your current process then the sweet young thing who’s running the show right now. OK that’s the end of the grandpa rant. Get that goddamn shirt done.
@@nurmihusa7780 Everyone looks different and it's often not noticeable that someone is trans! Especially on the internet, when people can be more selective about what they show. I've been on T for over 4 years now, am average height for a man and didn't have particularly feminine proportions to begin with, so I usually get mistaken for a cis guy these days.
I know a transmasculine person in town who is 6'2" and looked like a gangly teenage boy even before hormones, and there are some guys who are still fairly soft and round after years of T, and whose voices don't get particularly deep. Everyone's different! There's just as much variation in cis guy's bodies too!
@@vincentbriggs1780 I have a friend in my age group who didn’t transition (MTF) until very very late she feels she will never properly pass. Tears my heart out.
Yay, more shirts! Oh and don't forget you've got this!
This was so brilliantly edited, beautifully done.
I hate the thought of your having to take down your existing videos after all the work you’ve put into them, but I (read: we! all your fans/followers ☺️) *completely* understand and support that decision if you should choose to do so. (I’ll just have to go back to the OG shirt video and take copious notes! It’s helped me so much).
Thank you for sharing both your tailoring and your transitioning journey with us. We’re so glad you’re here, and excited to see what’s around the corner for you. ✨❤️
Thank you so much!!! I think I might eventually unlist the shirt video because I’m not happy with the sound and editing, but not before I do an updated version!
Congratulations on starting T!!! I'm so happy for you and wish you all the best. Dysphoria sucks and as a pre-T trans guy myself, I definitely empathize. Take care of yourself, do whatever you need to get through this next little bit, and we'll all be cheering you on. I was delighted to find this channel and you gave me the inspiration I needed to make my own historical men's shirt, so thank you so much for that.
Congrats on going on T! Dysphoria can be a lot... If it helps in any way, I always perceived your voice as male:)
Unrelated, but where do you get your sewing patterns? Maybe I'm searching wrong but all I've found are female clothing patterns
Thank you so much!!! I draft all my patterns myself, but I base a lot of them off a thesis by someone at VCU and also The Cut Of Men’s Clothes by Nora Waugh
❤
I wanted to let u know that when I first found your videos, I immediately knew that you were a man, even if you don't "tick the boxes" on "what a man is" in the eyes of larger society. Something in the way you spoke and held yourself (and your choice of sewing projects😅) told me who you are.
I'm non-binary leaning masculine (and afab) person and I was so excited to see you and your videos coming to my attention. Thank you so much for being here ❤️
Glad to see you making videos again. You're a talented young man. I wish you well with the next steps of your journey. Your feelings are valid and very relatable.
I've been there, vividly, with the "not wanting to be perceived" and I had such bad voice dysphoria I couldn't listen to myself recorded at all. When I decided it was time to start T, I framed it in my head that I was ready to grow up physically-- that's something all men do.
I've been on T for just over 5 years now, and I'm really glad that I did get some documentation of myself pre-T, especially my voice. It gives me a benchmark to measure against, and I can share my experience with others. It took a few years, but I can listen to old recordings now. I hope this helps.
Your feelings are totally valid and suuuuuper relatable - I started T last August (at the age of 25) and in the run up I just really didn't want to see or be seen by anyone at all. Like all my dysphoria just got so much worse somehow? That feeling has definitely eased up a lot since then, and I found some changes do happen faster than you expect, though some others slower than you hope. Just my experience, but I found that just a few weeks on T I started to feel more confident/relaxed in myself, even without visible changes. Maybe a placebo affect but a good one! Sending lots of strength and good vibes to you for your next step.
Also I would *love* to see a full tutorial for one of these shirts! I'm planning to make one for my first attempt at historical sewing soon.
You are most definitely not "being a baby" - your emotions are valid and understandable. It's absolutely normal, even though it probably feels horrendous. I don't know of how much help this is, but when I discovered you on TikTok, I assumed you were a teenage boy, maybe a late bloomer a bit given that you were posting about being in uni (my voice and body changed pretty late, only around eighteen, so I assumed that it may be the same with you). Only once you posted about being trans I realized it.
Either way, again, your emotions and struggle are valid and I am very happy that you are starting T and getting your body and voice to be like you want it to be. You have very right to be very proud of yourself. Loads of love from Germany!
P.S. the shirt looks very pretty and I love the embroidered monogram!
Thank you so, so much! Sending loads of love back 💛💛💛💛
Congratulations on starting T! I'm taking zoom university classes for my east coast college from the west coast, so I get the exhaustion that comes from those early morning classes (05:00am Russian anyone?). As a side note, I like the unbleached linen shirt! I feel like people rarely make those, so I'm excited to see how yours turns out.
Oof, I def understand your pain, my 5 am is German! And yeah, I’m sad that I can’t use checked linen for as much in the UK but I’m excited about the shirt ☺️
I understand this vent.
Congratulations on getting T!
Dysphoria sucks.
Thank you for being so open and honest about your journey and struggles. I'm sorry it's been so hard for you so far, but you are so brave and strong for having made it this far. Congratulations on starting T, that's so exciting. I hope all goes well and that things start looking up soon. Also, the shirt is super cool and I am, as always, deeply impressed by your tailoring abilities.
Thank you so, so much! 💛💛💛
We'll support you either way, if you do or don't make videos.
Thank you for sharing some of your personal struggles / journey about your transitioning . I hope you reach the goals your aiming for. Give it plenty of time and be easy on yourself.
Thank you so much!!! 💛
The fact that you aren't using a thimble blows my mind. I'm not a costumer, but I quilt and at this point I struggle to do any sewing without a thimble as I'm so used to it. Most people I see put the thimble on their pointer finger, but I prefer having it on my middle finger.
Like other commenters, I had no inkling that you were trans until this video. I perceived you (and still do) as what you are, a young man with good sewing skills doing interesting tutorials. I am very glad you are being who you are, and wish you the best of luck with HRT.
Hi, Marius! I'm a trans dude as well, and your T journey is really familiar. I didn't start T until I was out for about 4 years, either. I hated my voice. Mostly I wanted a beard. Let me tell you, you're gonna feel relief and excitement from the very first shot. Speaking of which, it gets easier every time you do it! Sticking a needle in your thigh/butt is weird and sometimes it hurts (like, a pinch) but it's ok! You're strong. 💪
I feel with you ♡
Congratulations on being approved for testosterone! I've been on T for around 4.5 months now, so I definitely get what you're talking about. This in-between period is a really tough one to go through, but I promise that it'll get better! Eventually you might even get to a point where you can look back at old recordings of yourself without hating it, but rather feeling proud and happy of how far you've come. (I'm not quite at that point yet, but definitely moving towards it). Think of it this way: you're just gathering good "before" content for a before and after transition comparison.
But it's completely understandable if you're holding back on making videos right now. Mental health goes first and you shouldn't push yourself to do anything you're uncomfortable with!
Yes to all of the above! I hated my voice pre T to the point of just not speaking. I hated taking pictures of myself.
But now that i am two months short of 3 years on T, i can look back at the before photos and recordings with a kind of gentle curiosity. Its almost unbelievable to see how far i have come, and that all this struggle was worth it.
Don't be too hard on yourself. I thought you were an attractive teenage boy when I started watching you, it was only recently I discovered you are Trans. I love your Male costume videos since there are so few out there. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much!!! Yeah, I figure when I pass I pass for a high schooler, you won’t believe how often I get carded 😆
Congrats!
Congratulations on starting T! I can certainly relate to the weirdness around gender perception in public. As others have said, we are all rooting for you and here to support you no matter what! Everything you do has inspired me so much - you're one of the best makers for the men's side of historical costuming I've found!
You have 10x the nerve that I have. No way would I put my body thru the things you will do to yours. Just remember that there is no going back once you go under the knife. A good friend of mine commented to me. “ Think you are tough? Take a look around and you will see some people who are really tough cause until you have gone thru your fourth operation and recovery you don’t have a clue what tough really is”. I think you are one tough person and if we were in the same place i would raise a toast to you.
Loved all the climbing metaphors and love you even more ❤️ so proud of you and so excited to see everything you accomplish
Congratulations Marius, I'm so glad you can finally start T!! Also, cool fireplace
!! congrats on starting t soon !!
fwiw, when i first started watching i assumed you were an exceptionally young costuber, a teenaged boy still in high school. ofc that's not ideal, but it's sometimes less terrible than being perceived as an adult woman.
i'm also trans masc (though i'm non-binary), and it's definitely a set of Strange Dilemmas - being seen as a child but gendered correctly, vs being seen as your actual age but misgendered.... hiding from cameras until you're less dysphoric, vs living "fully" as you currently are.... toning down your personality and "butching up" your interests to seem more stereotypically masculine, vs being true to yourself and people doubting your identity... it's all a mess tbh, and i'm glad that (at least some of) that is going to become easier for you soon.
ofc it's up to you how you handle filming but i'll second vincent's suggestion: several of my friends who make art videos have done similar, where they filmed the video + either put just music and captions (if needed to publish before voice dropped), or added the voiceover later (if had time to wait).
You are awesome! I love your content and your work. Your videos are just so calming and easy to follow! Your checked shirt was the one I watched over and over again when I was making my first 18th century shirt and it was really helpful! Don't be too hard on yourself, these times are hard and emotions suck, but soon this will all be over
Thank you so, so much! I’m glad you liked the shirt video, I know there were plenty of issues with the sound/editing. (As a sidenote I didn’t actually know you were on CZcams but I saw your strawberry waistcoat on ig and absolutely fell in love with it!)
@@pinsandweevils Thank you so much! That strawberry waistcoat is my favorite project I've ever made hahah
I would love an in depth tutorial on the shirt!
Congrats on starting T soon, thats so awesome!
I would love a more in depth shirt construction video! I will shamelessly take the opportunity to ask a question: I'm halfway through one of my own, and one problem I have yet to solve is the finishing of the shoulder seams. Most regular straight seams can be felled flat, but I really have no clue how to do that on the gathers. Do I fold the seam allowance side of the gathers over? Or fold the straight edge over the gathered one and have it sorta hang loose? Something entirely different that I haven't thought of?
P.S. congrats on starting T! I'm on a waiting list of who-knows-how-long myself, and really recognise the feeling of wanting to postpone things in relation to it, especially social stuff. Why bother getting into a new club now if I'll have to either come out after a year or spend a long time endlessly correcting people? (The answer is of course that I cannot just put my entire life on pause for an indeterminate amount of time, because that would make me much more miserable overall)
The solution to that is easy! Basically the reason the inner shoulder reinforcer exists is to cover up the raw edges so you don’t have to try to fell them. I’ll try to explain them better in a video next week!
Thank you young man. I need a waist coat tutorial. Can you help with that some day?
It’s on my list! I’m working on a 1770s one, but I’ll also have to do a 1740s one soon
Oh wow!!!!! Congratulations on getting to go on T, that’s wonderful! Tbh, it really surprised me when you said that people misgender you a lot in passing because you just seem very masculine to me? Idk if it’s because where I’ve worked for most of my adulthood has a very strict policy on facial hair and hairstyles but I know a lot of men who look just like you. And if I hadn’t watched your video on being trans I would have never guessed. I hope that however hard it is right now, that you will eventually get past this and be able to feel comfortable in yourself and your body. You deserve nothing less!
I think part of it may be context tbh? I barely ever got misgendered working at a museum, but working at a gym sort of shifts the goalposts. Thank you so much for your kind words! 💛
I was also 20 when I had my first blood test, and it was also the test I needed to start T!
I’ve never been good with needles, I was way more nervous than I’d like to admit 😆
@@pinsandweevils I used to be terrified too, but I’m definitely used to them now... 😅 congrats on getting the okay! Exciting times ahead 😃
Oh and having videos up from pre-t is awesome for down the line when you need a pick me up, because you can see and hear how far you’ve come!
a detailed shirt tutorial would be amazing! i'm starting my second shirt soon and would love to have a more detailed tutorial for the neck gussets and shoulder piece which dont come up in Bernadettes video
I'm blonde (really). Mainly assumed you were a young bloke. Sometimes thought you might be trans, but you were and are male to me.
Happy for you that you can start on T soon. Keep courage.
If it makes you feel better I thought you were cis when I saw first saw your shirt vid, leading to me rather haphazardly changing measurements to make sure I wasn’t going to drown in what I presumed was made for a guy a bit bulkier than me. I’d love to see another vid on the topic, especially addressing how to put the sleeve gussets in ( it took me about three tries to get them right) and there was another reinforcement that left out bc I couldn’t figure out where I should put it? I’ve really liked your content and it’s super cool to see someone that I can aspire to be.
“Shoot myself up” qkgcakdbkqfnak
Drug jokes aside, congrats Marius! I’m so excited for you. You’re one of my favorite historical costumers. Keep on being awesome ✨
Wow I was just experiencing all those feelings about why bother with the work in making clothes to fit when I'm not yet sure when I'm getting top surgery done now that I know it's within my reach.
Like I've just come to terms, that I am more trans than I thought as a genderfluid/non-binary person. Like I know it's under the trans umbrella but the 2 felt very disconnected until I could finally be able to make a change now.
Oh, that’s relatable. Consider: setting your buttons so that you can move them, waistcoats with adjustable lacing in the back, and, as a back up, large seam allowances so you can go back and alter your clothes if need be!
First of all yes to another shirt tutorial. I would love that. Secondly, I think it makes sense to feel done and you are being childish about it.
I HOPE TO MEET U SOMEDAY🙈
Congratulation on starting testosterone Marius. I am very happy for you. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I actually first thought that you were a cis man upon finding your channel. Good luck on your transition.
Thank you so much!!! I’ve now been on T for about a week, so I’ve got my fingers crossed for the next few months! 💛💛💛
You said your name is Marius, so I always thought you were a cis-male, a very cute one indeed. I still think you are lovely and guess things are going to get even sexier in a couple of months!
Thank you so much! I had no idea my name seemed cis 😆 Really it’s just the male version of my old middle name, Maria, since I was named after a family member and didn’t want to drop that connection
I’m a 68 year old fart who just enjoys your videos and watching your very impressive sewing skills. I’m sorry you have experienced discrimination, that’s a shame. Truthfully, I hadn’t noticed your sexual orientation either way. Maybe I’m too old to notice?😁