When I was a teenager, one time my parents took my diary (not just read it, they actually TOOK it and even brought it to my therapist) and to this day it was a huge betrayal of trust and really hurt and pushed me away from my parents making me more secretive.diaries and journals are so personal it's crossing major boundaries to sneak and read them, whether or not they are your minor children
My parents took my journal that was entirely based on my struggle with anorexia (which I was being treated for) and read it to all of our relatives and everyone at our church. I have never trusted them since.
I have 3 diaries.. I can't imagine what I will do if my parents red that diary. It would break my heart and leave me so depressed. I feel them girls on the video, I felt rage when their mom red the girls diary -_-
Ameerun Nessa my mother on a few occasions read my phone mags allowd to my fathee. They r sperated n never talk. It killed me . Hurt on many levels. She has listened in on my calls n did the same thing. She did worse too. Its her issue but it still had a massive effect on me till this day
sowutsurpoint sorry to hear :C i would but a phone lock on so no one can go on my phone. My mum used to go through my phone when I was younger and I just used to rage out. She doesn't do it anymore (finally trusts me)
Katarina Hellwig Same here darling, Now I have to watch my sister be sneaky and get over on my parents. I try to tell her before she has to learn like I did.
+Leah'Anne Gaddy she said after she drives away in the car with the guy she goes to the computer to look on 411.. so while she's doing that what's stopping her daughter from getting knocked up in the back of dudes car? lol
My mom snoops on me for no reason that’s why i put a passcode and my Face ID on my phone and i also put a Face ID on my email apps because of my mom snooping on my phone and on me for no reason and I’m 25 years old and my mom still snoops on me
Some of this behavior seems borderline abusive and controlling. And that one mom who started spying on her kid because she was cutting...how does spying on her help? Why didn't you suggest therapy?
And she was complaining about her daughter not coming to her and talking to her?? I wouldn't tell you anything either if you went through my crap all the time.
Did y’all notice the moms touch on the knee when Cassie the daughter who was self harming started talking the mother did the control grip on the knee. Poor baby I hope she’s doing well now
the problem with snooping parents is that they become addicted to it. they end up really wanting to see the child do something wrong. they actively go looking for it.
I guess it's because they build it up so much. They see all the possibilities and opportunities for the child to make a dangerous decision that I think they start to think "how are you NOT messing up? I must be missing something, I'll have to keep looking."
+Brachiostar same here I used to self harm, my mom screamed at me being angry then she never mentioned it again lol. I miss watching the tyra show! I love her! way more than ellen blegh
I had to clean the kitchen, wash clothes and clean around the house after school was out. I'd get home at 4 everyday. I always had homework but everything got done on time and I still would have plenty of time for myself afterwards. My dad would take my phone if I didn't have my stuff done but the chores I had to do would take probably 10 minutes to do each. Kids nowadays complain too much. My dad used to have to clean everything in his house as a kid. his mom would go around with white gloves and if any flat surface was dirty she'd make him clean it again. You're lucky you don't have surprise military inspection type cleanings.
the last mom needs to go home. how does cutting lead to snooping. the girl said it was because of stress. spying adding more stress. stress adds more cutting. shes not thinking straight
Give me a break. I snuck out, had sex at 15, drank, etc. and I'm currently a college student, getting almost all A's, living on my own in a happy monogomous relationship. Wanna know why? Because my mom respected my process. We are best friends now and I know I can trust her with anything. She's an amazing, giving woman and I'm incredibly blessed. These mothers could take a lesson from her.
....I'm always amused by the parents who think what they read on Facebook or in diaries will tell them the truth. As a girl I had TWO. One for the truth ...and one for my grandmother to read and snoop through to make her feel better.
+Zeynab Uthman Reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Ray had one journal while Robert had two for the same reason you did (except that it was their mother).
andi miller But then if a MAN were to snoop on his girlfriend he is immediatly labled as: abusive, controlling, crazy. Other women would tell his girlfriend to leave him. But if a female does it, it's natural? #sexism
I was 100% trusted as a kid, quite independent and was free really to just be a kid. I turned 18 and was able to easily transition to adult life and be rather successful going to college across the country and living independently. I have several peers including my best friend who were monitored and controlled relentlessly as kids and then had to deal with teen pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, etc. She partied, raved, drank, did drugs. Her college experience was ended early when she had to drop out to go to rehab and move back in with her parents, and she's not allowed to go back because she'd go straight back to cocaine if left to her own devices. I'm sure some of these kids are able to go on to live normal lives, but I've seen a crazy correlation with putting kids in cages and then when they're released they don't know how to handle their newfound freedom and just crash and burn.
My dad is very similar to this and Tyra is right. An animal chained up is going to try to get out aggressively. He would block any number on my phone that texted or called me too much. Well my work was one of them and I got in trouble at work for not answering their calls. My boyfriend would be blocked too without my knowledge of knowing it. He even installed a tracking device on my car that notified him wherever I was and when I went over 5mph. This type of parenting is smothering and does not have good outcomes.
Aniya Santiago Yeah, they aren't saying she should trust her. They're saying that she shouldn't snoop, but openly admit she'll be tracking her and that she has to send a message from the phone every hour/half an hour or something, so she wouldn't just leave her phone somewhere. After she's been doing that regularly for a while and talking to her openly, it's okay to drop it. Imagine for example if you hid a friend from your boyfriend, afraid that he'll be jealous (but didn't cheat). Would that justify him spying on you for your whole life? It's normal that his trust would be broken, but it's also normal to start trusting you again after he understood the reasons you lied for and what was his role in that and you talked it over and you haven't been doing it since. You see what I'm aiming at? If you distrust someone, yet keep saying you love them, they'll think they're not worthy of your trust anymore because of the thing they've done, they'll feel guilty and your snooping will constantly remind them of the guilt, making them project it as anger on you. They'll loose confidence and they'll just want to show you they can do it despite you trying to stop them, you know.
steph ellen Yeah, I literally can use the bathroom during the night without waking my mom up, I've never even had the idea of possibility of making a plan to sneak out.
steph ellen Mine too, probably. She wouldn't trust me anymore and that would be super-annoying. She's not very restrictive because she trusts me and respects me, but I have no idea what would happen if I did something like that.
I remember when my mom thought I had sex. She was yelling at me saying, your body changed, you look different, you're always tired. And I always told her, no i didn't and when I do you will get a nice hand written letter when I have sex. Trust me, and I'm tired because I have school and work. Like parents don't realize, that going to school at 6am-3pm and then going to work doesn't get you tired.
As a teenager, coming home from dates or a certain friend's house, my mom accused me of smoking cigarettes and would smell my hands when I never touched one. My mom would also accuse me of having sex and would point out that I had dark under eye circles (which were always there) which meant that I lost my virginity apparently. School caused my under eye circles and my hands would smell like everything I'd touch. I wasn't as bad as she thought..
In defense of the first parent, it's obvious she knows the rules of the game. She's done a great job raising them but at their age now the only thing left was to let them spread their wings and try to fly.
shes taking it too far. if she doesnt want then to get pregnant then teach them! teach em that they gotta be protected and stuff. its always the ones who put pressure on their kids that make em rebellious.
hoshikou I think /lack of/ pressure is the reason why the second mom was such a failure. All the time I see so many white kids(majority) that are just straight up disobedient to their parents who will do what they want and the parents have no control over it or them. And they are still minors by the way. When I listen to the first parent, I'm hearing a girl who played those same tricks on her parents and is educating her daughters that they aren't 'slick' and that she knows what the real world is like and what's best for them. Just by that alone you can tell she wants her girls to be smart. And they are obviously But while there's nothing wrong with that.. I feel that when you reach a certain age, like 16, and you're still strip searching them, which I know it sounds crazy but I think she's wise, at that time you just have to kind of ask yourself when is it time for me to let go or atleast kind of ease up? You can't hoard your children away forever, or they're going to end up hating you for it, and that's what I think Tyra was wanting her to see.
i feel like the problem with it though is that if she's always like this 1. i feel like she was probably a really bad teenager and that's why she's so protective 2. it'll actually get in the way of normal friendships with guys and even just their friendships with girls, from experience its really too hard keeping friendships going if your friends parents are constantly calling you to check where their kid is, like don't even think relationships cause how is a friendship going to transition to a relationship if they from the beginning as a friend are confronted with so many questions
+Val E It's just going to help the child learn to better hide it and share even less with their parents because they associate their parents knowing with getting punished.
That last mom made me SOOOO MAD. As a former cutter, that is the WORST reaction that a parent can have to their child. In fact, it can make the cutting even worse. It is toxic behavior. Disgusting.
Em Sheeran Me too!! That just makes them want to self-harm even more, because they get the idea that their parents don't even care. laelonnnie denton So what? It's not your place to judge anyone. I'm pretty sure no one wants to self-harm; they just do it to cope with the pain.
Princeicio well as an African American women that was raised in a home that you had no privacy in the house male or female you have no privacy. she is actually just really good at snooping my mom never did half the stuff that the first mom did
Wow. My parents and I always maintained a level of trust. I probably did something behind their backs once or twice, but they never snooped on me and respected my privacy
+Elisabeth Walker well trust in a child parent relationship goes both ways, parents have to gain trust from there kids that they won't bc too invasive and kids have to prove trust that they won't make really bad decisions. There's always room for caution though and if ur parents were exte lay snoopy, I'd know about it lol, trust is earned not given. But it probably is easier for both parents and kids to be sneakier these days.
Natasha Bonnici okay well thats my personal opinion compared to your overly exaggerated one. why dont they people start protecting their privacy more? lock phones, take diaries with you or keep an online journal. etc. seriously its not that hard...
The other day I went to a movie with a couple friends and told my mom I planned on getting food while I was out. I am 16. When my mom came to pick us up, my phone didn't have good service and kept dropping calls, but I was trying to tell her where I was. I was at a restaurant very close to the movie theater. She flipped out. Interrogated me and my bestfriend (who is a gay male). When he left the car, shit hit the fan. Screaming and tears were all that car ride was. When we got home my dad and mom started yelling at me for this honest mistake. I had told her the plans were to see a movie and get food. Well they took my phone, and searched it. Read all of my texts to close friends, looked at my pictures, on my twitter. Then the day after, my room was searched. Everything. My dad found a book I was writing because I've been interested in literature and he assumed it was about a real guy. He repeatedly told me that he didn't believe me. I do online school and now I can't even do schoolwork without being in the same room as a parent because I am on my computer. They keep accusing me of dating my bestfriend. If he were a female they wouldn't have a problem, and he practically is to me. Now my dad set up where he can track and see at any given moment where I am. I have never had any type of behavior or other problems. I've never snuck out, never even kissed a boy. But here I am at 16 being torn apart by my parents all because of an honest mistake. Snooping can absolutely tear a child down. I don't do anything bad, and actually avoid everything i can. Parents go overboard with the whole "protective parenting" thing, because this is down right invasion of my fucking life and privacy. I don't feel like I have anything anymore. They aren't here for me, if they were they'd just talk to me like a person other than being condescending and outright telling me that they don't trust me.
minsuga it's honestly so ridiculous. Also, my bestfriend is 2 years younger than me. They're so paranoid that I'm doing something bad and they're trying to accuse me of things like they want to get me in trouble.
try talking to them one more time. if that doesn't work, take out the chip and go to a family members house and ask of they can talk to ur parents. if that doesn't work... than its time for an outright rebellion
Sarah Beach Try this. Ask them is it really important to them for you not to do the stuff they deem unacceptable now, and not important to them what you think about it. I mean, it's not going to make you more mature not to do stuff if you don't know why. Tell them you know why, but you're aware they think you don't, so you want them to tell you what they think about it and ask you whatever they want. Be honest with them. I don't know what do you think about relationships and sex (which is obviously what they're worried about), but tell them honestly what you think about it. My guess for a teenage girl your age who hasn't kissed or had a boyfriend is that you sometimes think about it, shyly fantasize, but that you don't really want it yet and don't feel ready, or at least feel awkward about it. Tell them that, tell them you wouldn't be pushed over the edge by peer pressure and you're aware it's a personal decision and that you're not mature enough yet (bear in mind this doesn't belittle you, we all grow at different rates and you're probably better at something else). I have to sympathize with you as a fellow writer. I never wrote romance, but I know what it feels like to be told that you support or like or idolize views of your characters or that you have to be similar to every character you've written about, or you wouldn't know what to write. Let them know that you have friends who told you about stuff, that you read and watch movies and that you feel it's important to understand romance before you get into it and understand your needs, so nobody would be able to play you. Let them know it's your way of working on yourself and trying to prevent things they're afraid of from happening one day, when you start dating. Try not to say all of this as arguing, try to just ask them about their reasons and show them your own, honestly. I know there might be a lot of emotions involved, but try to be as rational as possible, even if they snap and can't control themselves. If all else fails, let them know you feel like you're dysfunctional and ask them to go to family therapy. If you have to in order to convince them, tell them you feel like it might be something wrong with you, but you'd really like to solve it together. I really feel sorry that you have to be the mature one in such a situation, but I really hope it all works out. Things like that can really break you, parents not trusting you is one of the most hurtful things they can do to you. Just don't forget they're not like that because you're not worthy of their trust, they've got their own issues and they worry too much about you. They're the ones who need help, not you. And that doesn't belittle them either. Everyone makes mistakes, it's important that we try our best for the people we love. Good luck with this. ^^
The first mom should put her daughter on bithcontrol serioulsy if she is that scared of them getting pregnant and educate them about condoms and sex. I would run away if my mother was like that really
I've never given my parents any reason to snoop, if anything I spend too much time in my room that they actually want me to go out and party and go do shit.
im they same way im a bit anti-social i prefer to live in my room cause of the people i live around and go to school with they are mostly jerks . Ill stick to hanging my family thank you along with my immediate friends who are my family away from home and my pets
That girl with the second woman, Lily, - I'm sorry but she SHOULD be kept tabs on. 15, an 18 year old boy, sneaking out at night. Maybe not as extreme as it is- but that mother needs to seriously crack down on discipline.
The last mom is an idiot. Cutting is a serious sign of depression/anxiety and she should have brought her daughter to a psychologist immediately. Snooping would only make it worse. 😡
+Dawn “GamerTag” Speed I understand how that can be frustrating as heck, but like this woman said, your parents are probably not worried about your behaviour, but they don't trust people you are in contact with, everyone to them is potentially trying to corrupt their innocent child.
Dawn Speed...Be thankful that they actually CARE about YOU. It's annoying while you are the teen but please try to understand really bad things happen to young people these days.
I'm sorry. I had a parental snooping problem and it's hard and they don't realize that it will just make kids more sneaky instead of not communicating or doing the things they are afraid of them doing at all they just figure out ways to do it under the radar. Humans are people and as young people grow into adults they have a yearning to become their own person and sometimes they think they are more ready before their parents think they are. So it's important to remember what yellow jacket lady said.
+Dawn Speed I was just a teen not too long ago. I'm 20 now, and I have to say as smart and mature as I was for my age, I still made a lot of terrible decisions. Teens' brains are still in development, and some of the last parts of the brain to develop deal with decision-making and judgment. I didn't think I was making bad decisions at the time but now I know I was pretty damn stupid, and yet way better off still than most of my peers lol. I wasn't monitored or punished at all though, and I desperately wish I was because it has an effect on who you are as an adult and too little discipline and supervision is maybe not as damaging as too much, but it still has an effect.
That last mom made me sooo damn mad. She is so stubborn and doesnt see that her feelings toward how her mother raised her is affecting how she is raises her kids. The hate for her mom is blocking her view and she is not seeing that her kids ARE going to be the wild teen that she was.
The first mom had two really good girls. She was over doing it. You could tell the girls had an innocence about them and that they weren't doing anything despicable. I hope the mom figured out that being a stalker isn't the way.
I've never done anything wrong, ever. I've never given my parents a reason to not trust me. They would never let me stay at friends houses ever. I've never been to a sleep over with friends, just cousins. And I've never had friends sleep over either. I couldn't stop by a Dairy Queen, like 2 streets over from my house and from the school, to eat or hangout or whatever while walking home from school with friends. Even if I'd ask the day before, i couldn't do it. I did one time and my dad slapped me on the side of my face. I couldn't go to the park to do homework or study with friends. I couldn't walk around our small town with my friend without my parents thinking we were going to meet up with someone. I couldn't stay at a friends house across the street for long before my mom would all or text to come home. I was only involved in one extracurricular activity throughout high school and that was dance my freshman year. They were so angry because that meant I had to go to every football game and perform with the team. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years already and they don't let me stay out til past 10. He's the only guy I've had sex with and that have met my parents. Pretty much my first real boyfriend. I'm turning not 19 in 2 months. Sometimes they don't even let me go out with him. Yet they don't like him coming over sometimes either because they can't go about their normal day with him there. I do kind of blame them for lots of things. I couldn't really enjoy being young. Very strict parents. They were very vague about their feelings as well. Never told me they loved me and to this day they never do. So yes. Strict parents create sneaky kids. I sneak out, go to parties (not often), hangout with my boyfriend. It sucks that I have to be sneaking out to hangout with my boyfriend and to try and actually be normal and socialize with other people without feeling guilty or on edge about what my parents will think or where I am at. I do wish they would stop. I have a brother who is turning 21 and he goes out whenever and sometimes they don't even know he's gone. I've tried moving out with my boyfriend to his house and my mom pretty much told me if I did then I couldn't come back. I wish parents weren't like this. It really takes away the whole idea of being young and experiencing growing up..
Valeria Aguilar I would try talking to them one last time. If that doesn't work then maybe you should just go, move out, and don't ever look back. Honestly, your home life sounds awful, borderline abusive. Well you said your dad slapped you, and your parents are emotionally detached, so that IS abusive. I know it's scary, the thought of not being able to come back, but wouldn't it be better than staying there with them? Would you really WANT to go back? You need to do whatever makes you happy, and they seem to be prohibiting that. Life is too short to be miserable.
Valeria Aguilar I'm so sorry for your pain. My parents were quite strict but not anything like yours. So you're 18 and they won't let you come home if you move out with your boyfriend? Is that right? I feel like I'm missing something. In the UK an adult is 18. Are you still in school; are they asking you to stay until you finish? Maybe they don't want you to change your routine or have a stressful experience like moving before final exams? If you are 18 and have finished school, let them know you need their support if you are moving out. Ask them why they wouldn't let you come home if you did move out. Perhaps they think he's 'trouble'? I hope everything turns out ok. I used to sneak out sometimes, but didn't have a steady boyfriend, and sought the attention I wasn't getting at home elsewhere.. Ultimately I put myself in dangerous situations with, in hindsight, predictable outcomes... I blame my parents too for not being there to support me when I was a teenager. I was the oldest and much of the attention went on the younger children. I read about a theory (bit old-fashioned but interesting) that female teenagers needed lots of attention and support at home, otherwise they tend to turn to promiscuity and, like me, seek attention elsewhere. This is a time when higher moral development, social interaction, and decision making processes that you are developing could benefit from being nurtured rather than ignored. For example I had so many fights or falling outs with friends, which it would have been good to talk to my Mum about without fear of judgement or criticism. Just things like that, sitting down to talk things over with them, would have been helpful. It sounds like you're a lot more grounded than I was at that age. I'm so sorry your parents don't tell you they love you. I hope you know they do. It's not uncommon for some families to behave like this, and be emotionally reserved, but I feel it is important that you feel loved. I wonder if you said 'I love you' to them, how they would respond. Maybe you could leave notes lying around the house for them saying 'I love you, thank you for being my Dad/Mum', as that might be less confrontational than saying it aloud... And ask for hugs, and give them hugs... And gradually change the pattern of behaviour/interaction in the house? I do hope everything turns out ok, sending lots of support and love to you. You are loved, Valeria Aguilar.
Valeria Aguilar I had the same problems you have... with my parents up until the age of 20 and it only stopped because i got soo mad and fed up with how i was being treated that one day i packed my things and moved in with my boyfriend...things changed then...they wanted me back soo much that when i did move back (due to being accepted at top university i was applying to transfer to and they offered to pay for the fees if i came back, which they did)...that once i did move back i was aloud to have more freedom i was able to go to my friends houses and go out with my friends, and was able to see my boyfriend during the day and i even was able to stay over at his... i was able to have a life while being with my family and trust me i was warned before i left that if i ever did i would be out of their life for good but the opposite happened....I'm not saying it could be the same result for you but if you just get up and go they will go into panic mode and will do anything to have you back...they will change because they have no choice but to do so.. i hope things get better for you but your gonna have to do something in order to do so... my parents also used to beat me so i understand the fear but be strong and do something to change your life or your anger and resentment will just keep growing.
I can understand that these mother's worry about their teens getting into trouble. But at the same time, they as the mother need to build a trust with their kids and I feel like they're not building that trust, thus giving them some right to snoop on them. When I became a teen yeah I did rebel on my parents but thankfully they didn't snoop like these parents have. I got my first computer at 16, but I didn't have a social media page like facebook until I was around 22 because it wasn't for me as a teen. Plus i needed a computer for school. Going back to these moms, I personally believe if they keep doing what they're doing, their kids will only resent them later on. Honestly if I were in these girl's situation, I would never want to speak to my parents again because they don't realize this is not helping our relationship. It's like if you can't trust me as your child, I'm done, gone.
OK Two things... 1) I love how she cares enough about her daughters to watch out for them, and check up on them to make sure they're safe. 2) She does NOT have to know every little detail about their lives! Isn't there supposed to be trust in love?
A word of caution to the "snooping" mothers out there, you only get one chance to raise your child, continue down this path and your children will hate you forever. Build their confidence and grow the trust, don't take it from them by going behind their back. Q
Not every fucking "registered sex offender" is a legitimate sexual offender. Some of them were wrongly prosecuted, or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Second, just because you're on the sex offender registry doesn't mean that you are constantly on the prowl looking for little kids to take advantage of. That's why there a sexual offender section, and a sexual predator section. A predator is always on the lookout for a new victim. Offenders are usually one time offenders. And are generally, as I said, simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
oh hell no i get the second mother's reasons for snooping...da fuck kind of 15 year old goes out at night past their curfew???? Pshhh I'd lose my trust as a parent too.
but you have to understand i mean theyre teenagers and teenagers like to explore different things and will make mistakes during the course but thats part of a better life making mistakes and learning from them these moms arent teaching these girls a lesson on what theyre doing so theyre just gonna push them into being bad girls while being accused of being bad girls cause theyre getting treated like that
Um, I would say a LOT of 15 year olds sneak out past their curfew. Not saying I agree with it at all, but it's ignorant to believe that not many do it.
when i was 15 and even till this day i am 20 years old still living with my grandparents. I have to get permission for leaving the house. If im gonna be late i call my grandma or grandpa that is just the right thing to do. teenager or not. and another thing these kids need to be thankful that they have someone that cares that much about them. a lot of people cant say that they have someone that cares that much about them.
I grew up with so many friends with really strict snoopy parents and they all would still do the bad things their parents don't want them to do just behind their backs. You have to learn from life mistakes sooner or later.
My mother checks my phone some nights, of course I don't want her to but if she discovers something she doesn't like we sit down and have a civilised conversation. I know she does it because she loves me,she does trust me and I am forever grateful to have such a amazing mother.
I really like that that lady said that you should be up front with your kids about monitoring them instead of snooping behind their back. I think if my parents were up front and honest with me during my teenage years about that we would probably have had a much different and better relationship
What the fuck has it gotta do with your parents if you have sex when your 16? Don't get me wrong, protecting your daughter is a priority but this is going to far...
Im 16 and I dont even process the idea of sneaking out. Are you crazy child!!?? Especially in new york you do not go out on the street by yourself at night. God damn!!!
If my mom did this I would hate this and the mom is trying to make her stop cutting herself like you're gonna make you kill her self and the first mom has no trust in her daughter for no reason and wtf she is making her daughter strip, smell her, and go through all her phone, and diary that's a violation of privacy. As a teen you need the slightest space and privacy from your parents like god damn.
Grownups can make mistakes. Their parents made mistakes and they saw that when they were teens and did a lot to change that for their kids and you will see things your parents do that you don't like and when you are a parent (if that is your choice), you will work to change those things. Then your kids will see mistakes you make and they will change those things and so on. Each generation gets strong doing this, so it is very good. Some of a parents' choice making is fear motivated and as you know yourself, it is very hard sometimes to act like your better self if you become afraid. So she might not be doing what we would do in her place, but through the fear I can still see the love. If you mess up as an adult in the real world by breaking rules, you go to jail or you get hurt or worse. That can happen to kids too, but it happens much more often and with much harsher consequences when your an adult and you don't change very much between 17 and 18 but the rules and punishments change drastically. Even if you choose not to listen to your Mom's rules, try to keep the "why" behind the behavior in mind. Though it sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with yours unlike these poor kids.
***** Yes that happens too. I was homeless at 16 because my parent, the only one I had left crumbled under the death of the other and could no longer parent us. So I do know what it is like to have the ones in control of your life, drop the ball. I forgive them. Because they are people and vulnerable to limitation. Just like we are. Each person has different capacities for things like love, problem solving, empathy, and resiliency for healing from their own experienced trauma. Some of us can bend. Some of us can recover. Some of us crumble, break, behave badly, or simply don't make it at all. Try to broaden your own concept of compassion if you can and your own resiliency. They will not always control your situations. You deserve and they deserve to be treated well. It becomes a downhill situation when needs are not or cannot be met. If your needs are not being met, it is very likely that those who control your daily life are missing something as well and though it is not your job to fill those needs, it is good to keep these things in mind because their behavior makes more sense and does less damage over the long term. I do not know your situation, but I am sorry your are having a hard time and I truly hope it gets better for you. In time, you will be the maker of your world. You will be the adult and get to choose who is in your life and what job you do, or what you are interested in and who you want to see. Some day you will be in the position to make those decisions, but I can tell you from experience, no bad decision that my very dysfunctional parents ever made for me, was more damaging then being out in the world too young. They were not good parents. Terrible in fact, but they were very good hearted people, who I believe in their own way suffered from over exposure to a broken heart. A common problem in our world today. Maybe you or someone in your generation will make this better. Stranger things have happened. As long as you are alive there is always the possability that it can get better, but nothing gets better if you are dead. Dead is very final. The value of a human life is measured by what we leave in our wake. Be it good or bad and this is only in what we do or create because our thoughts and feelings don't leave lasting impressions. Only what we say, do, or make. Thoughts and feelings are only motivators. When someone close to me killed themselves a few years back I realized that every single person who ever loved them would hurt for the rest of their lives. I decided right then, that this is not what I want the value of my own life to be when I am gone. A sentencing to a world of permanent pain when someone thinks of me and a world of long term suffering from my absence. I stopped feeling suicidal after he died. Today I am really glad that I didn't because I would have missed things that I would not trade now for the world. The future is wide open. Death is very final. If you lived in my area, I would immediately redirect you to a helpline. I wish I could do that now. Instead I am opening myself up in a vulnerable way, hoping that might offer some compassion and enough care to get you through another day. Just one more day. Every day try to think in terms of finding that one thing that can get you through just one more day. Please, please. Do not hurt yourself. Call someone. There are tons of helplines out there with people who are licensed to help with these kinds of feelings. I am not. I can only put as much effort into an answer over god knows how many miles and hope that you have not harmed yourself. If you are not comfortable calling a person who might know what will help, at least call a friend who can be a good sounding board so you can vent and get some of the weight you are feeling off of your own chest.
At age 15 I left my home to go to another country to study and be an au pair, my mom would call me sometimes asking if I was eating well and if I had made any good friends...that's all.
This is why kids and parents don't have a good relationship nowadays. The pressure from parents to observe every little detail, makes kids want to have their own free life.
I think the first mom just has toooooo much time
Lmao
she needs to go get her a man in her life keep her ass busy smh lol
MOST FAT OLD WOMEN that don't have lives turn to Facebook and Photoshop :D (THE MORE YOU KNOW)
CarqlineCupcake too much time and friends
I agree! Lol. Get a life, mom! She has too much time on her hands like my mother did. Those girls are going to resent her and rebel like hell
When I was a teenager, one time my parents took my diary (not just read it, they actually TOOK it and even brought it to my therapist) and to this day it was a huge betrayal of trust and really hurt and pushed me away from my parents making me more secretive.diaries and journals are so personal it's crossing major boundaries to sneak and read them, whether or not they are your minor children
It's like reading the mind/ brain.... There's a reason why ppl can't hear what we say in our heads
My parents took my journal that was entirely based on my struggle with anorexia (which I was being treated for) and read it to all of our relatives and everyone at our church.
I have never trusted them since.
I have 3 diaries.. I can't imagine what I will do if my parents red that diary. It would break my heart and leave me so depressed. I feel them girls on the video, I felt rage when their mom red the girls diary -_-
Ameerun Nessa my mother on a few occasions read my phone mags allowd to my fathee. They r sperated n never talk. It killed me . Hurt on many levels. She has listened in on my calls n did the same thing. She did worse too. Its her issue but it still had a massive effect on me till this day
sowutsurpoint sorry to hear :C i would but a phone lock on so no one can go on my phone. My mum used to go through my phone when I was younger and I just used to rage out. She doesn't do it anymore (finally trusts me)
"Strict parents make sneaky kids"
I agree!
Sometimes but unstrict parents create monsters
@@charliechan8063I agree with this as well. There needs to be a happy medium.
strict parents make sneaky children.
The less freedom a child has, when they get (depending on the child) their going to take advantage of that. But I see what your saying
+Dutchess J I agree. my parents were overly protective and raised me (not on purpose) naive. It made me learn a lot of things the hard way.
Katarina Hellwig Same here darling, Now I have to watch my sister be sneaky and get over on my parents. I try to tell her before she has to learn like I did.
I agree completely
I can vouch for that. I did so much behind my moms back
The first woman is ridiculous.
completely
But her babies aren't pregnant ..
+Leah'Anne Gaddy ya? so are a lot of other kids whose parents dont snoop.
+Brianna Bytch All of her other daughters already killed themselves lol
+Leah'Anne Gaddy she said after she drives away in the car with the guy she goes to the computer to look on 411.. so while she's doing that what's stopping her daughter from getting knocked up in the back of dudes car? lol
That first mother is going to drive her kids away
Imliterally donewiththis i think she already did when they were watching the video of what their mom does they had a very pissed expression
Alina S
Imliterally donewiththis i think they gonna do bad things behind there mom's back quz of this
If not already 🤦♀️
My mom snoops on me for no reason that’s why i put a passcode and my Face ID on my phone and i also put a Face ID on my email apps because of my mom snooping on my phone and on me for no reason and I’m 25 years old and my mom still snoops on me
That first mom is literally crazy af
she's not crazy she's black lol
kareem thomas not all black women crazy. stop stereotyping
fam thats just crazy that aint got nothin to do with being black lol
Atlantis true lol was just joking
@@Fatalflawtv racist prick. Crazy women comes in ALL races. You're ignorant af
Some of this behavior seems borderline abusive and controlling. And that one mom who started spying on her kid because she was cutting...how does spying on her help? Why didn't you suggest therapy?
And she was complaining about her daughter not coming to her and talking to her?? I wouldn't tell you anything either if you went through my crap all the time.
Did y’all notice the moms touch on the knee when Cassie the daughter who was self harming started talking the mother did the control grip on the knee. Poor baby I hope she’s doing well now
This lady is the most stupid person I have ever met my mom doesn’t do that to me because I have fredum
the problem with snooping parents is that they become addicted to it. they end up really wanting to see the child do something wrong. they actively go looking for it.
Accurate!
YEAH they find things hat don't exist and make it a reality. they control you with it and humiliate you with it. it can be very damaging
Omg so true!
I guess it's because they build it up so much. They see all the possibilities and opportunities for the child to make a dangerous decision that I think they start to think "how are you NOT messing up? I must be missing something, I'll have to keep looking."
right u r man
"Oh no my daughter is cutting, let's not look into why and getting her help. Let's punish her instead!" Seriously that woman makes me incredibly mad
thats the perfect recipe for suicide
+Brachiostar same here I used to self harm, my mom screamed at me being angry then she never mentioned it again lol. I miss watching the tyra show! I love her! way more than ellen blegh
Sounds like my mom
+Syke™ that's mean to call your mother an airhead. Don u mean the word forgetful instead?
ok. I understand. Sos!
Im so fucking grateful to have chill parents omg
Please send me some... This woman is literally nothing compared to my mom
OMG! SAME!
OMG SAAAMR
Gracesykesingle same
watching this actually makes me realise that I have decent parents
I had to clean the kitchen, wash clothes and clean around the house after school was out. I'd get home at 4 everyday. I always had homework but everything got done on time and I still would have plenty of time for myself afterwards. My dad would take my phone if I didn't have my stuff done but the chores I had to do would take probably 10 minutes to do each. Kids nowadays complain too much. My dad used to have to clean everything in his house as a kid. his mom would go around with white gloves and if any flat surface was dirty she'd make him clean it again. You're lucky you don't have surprise military inspection type cleanings.
LOL 😄
When parents snoop, it shows a sign that they don't trust their kids. Kids need some privacy.
But then again, some kids do things that provoke their parents to invade their privacy.
Laura Wilson It shows that you care!
princeicio It shows you don't trust your kids.
Laura Wilson Well, that's your opinion
princeicio Yep, and it's not going to change.
I don't know if anyone realized but it's just the daughters that are being snooped on, it's never the sons.
I'm sure there are boys being spied on like this, they just brought on all girls since that's the show's demographic
*looks at daughters face*
"OMG! You had sex!"
That had my dying😂
Same😂 who else was dying around 12:20 when the mom was laying on the ground.
Some of these moms just have nothing else to do in their free time.😂
Which part was that? lol
SAME XD
😂😂😂
Body searches? SINCE WHEN DID MOMS BECAME THE TSA
+Cecelia Abellio IKR! I LOVE UR PROFILE PIC THO
I love waffles 😂
if she's cutting why don't you get her some help, not spy on her! She shouldn't be punished for something that's mentally wrong with her...
You know how there are Soccer Moms, well this episode about Stalker Moms
😂😂 clever
Loveable Dominique 😂
dang, the first mom is acting like a detective. if my mom was like this, I'd be terrified of even going to school
the last mom needs to go home. how does cutting lead to snooping. the girl said it was because of stress. spying adding more stress. stress adds more cutting. shes not thinking straight
apparently not! smh she is making those girls more stressed.
please tell my mom that
That's bullshit she's a child that is putting herself at risk. The girl is selfish and will one day regret putting her mother through this.
ilubmiself but she was talking to an older man online... I’d get stricter too
Give me a break. I snuck out, had sex at 15, drank, etc. and I'm currently a college student, getting almost all A's, living on my own in a happy monogomous relationship. Wanna know why? Because my mom respected my process. We are best friends now and I know I can trust her with anything. She's an amazing, giving woman and I'm incredibly blessed. These mothers could take a lesson from her.
Jacob C Your mom is a blessing.🙂
This should be titled "Mom's who snoop" not parents. Where are the Dads?
+dborey87 True
....I'm always amused by the parents who think what they read on Facebook or in diaries will tell them the truth. As a girl I had TWO. One for the truth ...and one for my grandmother to read and snoop through to make her feel better.
That's genius ! 😄
+Zeynab Uthman haha interesting
Lmaooo
+Zeynab Uthman Reminds me of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Ray had one journal while Robert had two for the same reason you did (except that it was their mother).
Ambrine Zaouche Nah, that's being sneaky, lol. Let them think they're in control ....and do what you want anyway.
"Why does sex have to leave a bruise? What kind of sex were you into?" DYING
Good sex always leads to injury
@@GreatBlueKnight always?
Okay but snooping in your man's phone/social media isn't cool either
andi miller But then if a MAN were to snoop on his girlfriend he is immediatly labled as: abusive, controlling, crazy. Other women would tell his girlfriend to leave him. But if a female does it, it's natural? #sexism
sam
Don't be with a man if you can't trust him
I don't understand why people do this. It's very unhealthy.
I cried real tears for those last two girls. 😢
I was 100% trusted as a kid, quite independent and was free really to just be a kid. I turned 18 and was able to easily transition to adult life and be rather successful going to college across the country and living independently. I have several peers including my best friend who were monitored and controlled relentlessly as kids and then had to deal with teen pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, etc. She partied, raved, drank, did drugs. Her college experience was ended early when she had to drop out to go to rehab and move back in with her parents, and she's not allowed to go back because she'd go straight back to cocaine if left to her own devices. I'm sure some of these kids are able to go on to live normal lives, but I've seen a crazy correlation with putting kids in cages and then when they're released they don't know how to handle their newfound freedom and just crash and burn.
If I were one of these kids i definitely would have rebelled
nothile zamazile i am and i do, lol.
That 1st Mom, does she have a Job or something ?
She just has too much time on her hands
Her job is looking after her kids
the first woman has too much time on her hands.
My dad is very similar to this and Tyra is right. An animal chained up is going to try to get out aggressively. He would block any number on my phone that texted or called me too much. Well my work was one of them and I got in trouble at work for not answering their calls. My boyfriend would be blocked too without my knowledge of knowing it. He even installed a tracking device on my car that notified him wherever I was and when I went over 5mph. This type of parenting is smothering and does not have good outcomes.
My mum is exactly like the first mum. To this day, I am scared of intimacy and I have low self esteem. I am 26
OP: my mom is the same way and I have extreme intimacy issues and insecurities about literally everything. I also will not ever talk to my mother.
You're about 33 or 34 now. Have things gotten easier in your life?
This happened to me and I just became very rebellious
Having sex and sneaking out at 15 is a great reason not to trust your child.
Aniya Santiago THIS ^^
Aniya Santiago I'm 16 and I agree. If you're actively doing wrong then what would you expect?
Aniya Santiago Yeah, they aren't saying she should trust her. They're saying that she shouldn't snoop, but openly admit she'll be tracking her and that she has to send a message from the phone every hour/half an hour or something, so she wouldn't just leave her phone somewhere. After she's been doing that regularly for a while and talking to her openly, it's okay to drop it.
Imagine for example if you hid a friend from your boyfriend, afraid that he'll be jealous (but didn't cheat). Would that justify him spying on you for your whole life? It's normal that his trust would be broken, but it's also normal to start trusting you again after he understood the reasons you lied for and what was his role in that and you talked it over and you haven't been doing it since.
You see what I'm aiming at? If you distrust someone, yet keep saying you love them, they'll think they're not worthy of your trust anymore because of the thing they've done, they'll feel guilty and your snooping will constantly remind them of the guilt, making them project it as anger on you. They'll loose confidence and they'll just want to show you they can do it despite you trying to stop them, you know.
steph ellen Yeah, I literally can use the bathroom during the night without waking my mom up, I've never even had the idea of possibility of making a plan to sneak out.
steph ellen Mine too, probably. She wouldn't trust me anymore and that would be super-annoying. She's not very restrictive because she trusts me and respects me, but I have no idea what would happen if I did something like that.
I remember when my mom thought I had sex. She was yelling at me saying, your body changed, you look different, you're always tired. And I always told her, no i didn't and when I do you will get a nice hand written letter when I have sex. Trust me, and I'm tired because I have school and work. Like parents don't realize, that going to school at 6am-3pm and then going to work doesn't get you tired.
As a teenager, coming home from dates or a certain friend's house, my mom accused me of smoking cigarettes and would smell my hands when I never touched one. My mom would also accuse me of having sex and would point out that I had dark under eye circles (which were always there) which meant that I lost my virginity apparently. School caused my under eye circles and my hands would smell like everything I'd touch. I wasn't as bad as she thought..
JustAbby Your mom is lowkey crazy.
"WHO will she be sending this to??"
The mom is literally wearing the same thing, and she's on public television.... double standards wut
Haha that's so true! Jealous much mama? Jk but that was a coincidence.
And it was a physical copy of a photo, what was she going to do with it to send it> Mail it?
Lol snail mail is tooooo sexy
She's a grown ass woman
You don't snoop because your kids are cutting. You get there help.
+Emily King I got sent to the hospital rofl.
I had a friend with a mom like this, and she ended up being a complete train wreck ,being a psycho mom isn't that effective clearly lol.
In defense of the first parent, it's obvious she knows the rules of the game. She's done a great job raising them but at their age now the only thing left was to let them spread their wings and try to fly.
Agreed (y)
shes taking it too far. if she doesnt want then to get pregnant then teach them! teach em that they gotta be protected and stuff. its always the ones who put pressure on their kids that make em rebellious.
Sorry but I disagree, my parents are exactly like this and I agree with what they do...
I haven't rebelled once.^
hoshikou
I think /lack of/ pressure is the reason why the second mom was such a failure. All the time I see so many white kids(majority) that are just straight up disobedient to their parents who will do what they want and the parents have no control over it or them. And they are still minors by the way. When I listen to the first parent, I'm hearing a girl who played those same tricks on her parents and is educating her daughters that they aren't 'slick' and that she knows what the real world is like and what's best for them. Just by that alone you can tell she wants her girls to be smart. And they are obviously
But while there's nothing wrong with that.. I feel that when you reach a certain age, like 16, and you're still strip searching them, which I know it sounds crazy but I think she's wise, at that time you just have to kind of ask yourself when is it time for me to let go or atleast kind of ease up? You can't hoard your children away forever, or they're going to end up hating you for it, and that's what I think Tyra was wanting her to see.
i feel like the problem with it though is that if she's always like this
1. i feel like she was probably a really bad teenager and that's why she's so protective
2. it'll actually get in the way of normal friendships with guys and even just their friendships with girls, from experience its really too hard keeping friendships going if your friends parents are constantly calling you to check where their kid is, like don't even think relationships cause how is a friendship going to transition to a relationship if they from the beginning as a friend are confronted with so many questions
How is snooping going to stop her child from cutting?
+Val E It's just going to help the child learn to better hide it and share even less with their parents because they associate their parents knowing with getting punished.
Dem kids are going to be sneaky as hell.
true
That last mom made me SOOOO MAD. As a former cutter, that is the WORST reaction that a parent can have to their child. In fact, it can make the cutting even worse. It is toxic behavior. Disgusting.
I hate parents who punish their kids for self harming
People who self harm are crazy and need help. No sane person would hurt themselves
Em Sheeran Me too!! That just makes them want to self-harm even more, because they get the idea that their parents don't even care.
laelonnnie denton So what? It's not your place to judge anyone. I'm pretty sure no one wants to self-harm; they just do it to cope with the pain.
laelonnnie denton you deserve to be put down for saying that.
My mother help the situation not make me more stressed
I used to self harm and my parents punished me by taking my phone AND,I was way better without it,sometimes they punish you for your own sake.
The first mom is probably taking notes on the high tech snooping stuff
It's Me Again 😂
If you have to "snoop" on your kids, than you are not raising them well!!
the lady in red needs to get a life☺
+Serena Potter or some dick
+dborey87 lmfaoo😂
my father never does this to me and im 15 he lets me chill with as many ladies as possible even older women, most of them in college.
I'm an Arab and not even our parents snoop on us like that!!
What's that supposed to mean?
+ Millie me but Arabs are white af dude
racist bitch
Princeicio well as an African American women that was raised in a home that you had no privacy in the house male or female you have no privacy. she is actually just really good at snooping my mom never did half the stuff that the first mom did
But I don't think Millie me meant any harm
A parent shouldn't need to snoop, they must have an honest and trustful relationship with their children
Wow. My parents and I always maintained a level of trust. I probably did something behind their backs once or twice, but they never snooped on me and respected my privacy
+Lauren Brown or you just don't know about it :)
+Elisabeth Walker well trust in a child parent relationship goes both ways, parents have to gain trust from there kids that they won't bc too invasive and kids have to prove trust that they won't make really bad decisions. There's always room for caution though and if ur parents were exte lay snoopy, I'd know about it lol, trust is earned not given. But it probably is easier for both parents and kids to be sneakier these days.
Alternative title: How to Fuck Up Your Child, Give Them Trust Issues, and Make them Hate You
Exactly
+Natasha Bonnici my dad used to snoop when we had phones confiscated so we just learnt how to avoid it. delete history etc. it helps if anything ;)
SilentSecret Many many many many many MANY people would beg to differ
Natasha Bonnici okay well thats my personal opinion compared to your overly exaggerated one. why dont they people start protecting their privacy more? lock phones, take diaries with you or keep an online journal. etc. seriously its not that hard...
SilentSecret "Over exaggerated"
lullabiesbarakat.tumblr.com/post/126666350069
lol okay fine read these and tell me I'm over exaggerating
The other day I went to a movie with a couple friends and told my mom I planned on getting food while I was out. I am 16. When my mom came to pick us up, my phone didn't have good service and kept dropping calls, but I was trying to tell her where I was. I was at a restaurant very close to the movie theater. She flipped out. Interrogated me and my bestfriend (who is a gay male). When he left the car, shit hit the fan. Screaming and tears were all that car ride was. When we got home my dad and mom started yelling at me for this honest mistake. I had told her the plans were to see a movie and get food. Well they took my phone, and searched it. Read all of my texts to close friends, looked at my pictures, on my twitter. Then the day after, my room was searched. Everything. My dad found a book I was writing because I've been interested in literature and he assumed it was about a real guy. He repeatedly told me that he didn't believe me. I do online school and now I can't even do schoolwork without being in the same room as a parent because I am on my computer. They keep accusing me of dating my bestfriend. If he were a female they wouldn't have a problem, and he practically is to me. Now my dad set up where he can track and see at any given moment where I am. I have never had any type of behavior or other problems. I've never snuck out, never even kissed a boy. But here I am at 16 being torn apart by my parents all because of an honest mistake. Snooping can absolutely tear a child down. I don't do anything bad, and actually avoid everything i can. Parents go overboard with the whole "protective parenting" thing, because this is down right invasion of my fucking life and privacy. I don't feel like I have anything anymore. They aren't here for me, if they were they'd just talk to me like a person other than being condescending and outright telling me that they don't trust me.
Wow. I feel really bad for you. My parents are like this but not to an extreme.
minsuga it's honestly so ridiculous. Also, my bestfriend is 2 years younger than me. They're so paranoid that I'm doing something bad and they're trying to accuse me of things like they want to get me in trouble.
You should really show them this video.
try talking to them one more time. if that doesn't work, take out the chip and go to a family members house and ask of they can talk to ur parents. if that doesn't work... than its time for an outright rebellion
Sarah Beach Try this. Ask them is it really important to them for you not to do the stuff they deem unacceptable now, and not important to them what you think about it. I mean, it's not going to make you more mature not to do stuff if you don't know why. Tell them you know why, but you're aware they think you don't, so you want them to tell you what they think about it and ask you whatever they want. Be honest with them. I don't know what do you think about relationships and sex (which is obviously what they're worried about), but tell them honestly what you think about it. My guess for a teenage girl your age who hasn't kissed or had a boyfriend is that you sometimes think about it, shyly fantasize, but that you don't really want it yet and don't feel ready, or at least feel awkward about it. Tell them that, tell them you wouldn't be pushed over the edge by peer pressure and you're aware it's a personal decision and that you're not mature enough yet (bear in mind this doesn't belittle you, we all grow at different rates and you're probably better at something else).
I have to sympathize with you as a fellow writer. I never wrote romance, but I know what it feels like to be told that you support or like or idolize views of your characters or that you have to be similar to every character you've written about, or you wouldn't know what to write. Let them know that you have friends who told you about stuff, that you read and watch movies and that you feel it's important to understand romance before you get into it and understand your needs, so nobody would be able to play you. Let them know it's your way of working on yourself and trying to prevent things they're afraid of from happening one day, when you start dating.
Try not to say all of this as arguing, try to just ask them about their reasons and show them your own, honestly. I know there might be a lot of emotions involved, but try to be as rational as possible, even if they snap and can't control themselves.
If all else fails, let them know you feel like you're dysfunctional and ask them to go to family therapy. If you have to in order to convince them, tell them you feel like it might be something wrong with you, but you'd really like to solve it together.
I really feel sorry that you have to be the mature one in such a situation, but I really hope it all works out. Things like that can really break you, parents not trusting you is one of the most hurtful things they can do to you. Just don't forget they're not like that because you're not worthy of their trust, they've got their own issues and they worry too much about you. They're the ones who need help, not you. And that doesn't belittle them either. Everyone makes mistakes, it's important that we try our best for the people we love.
Good luck with this. ^^
The first mom should put her daughter on bithcontrol serioulsy if she is that scared of them getting pregnant and educate them about condoms and sex. I would run away if my mother was like that really
nosy parents create sneaky kids.
My mom had that same computer software used on me. And guess what I was doing? Talking to people about minecraft. I was so mad.
Same, except I was playing a Different Game & she just snooped ugh
Arnt you a good girl ! Wish every teenager was like that lol
The first mom pisses me off every time I watch this. Damn.
My mom is the reason I stopped journalling.
Shenice Says That's honestly really sad.🙁
Ugh same
When MySpace was still relevant
this ep is 6 yrs old
My mom started snooping on me even more heavily after she found out I cut, and it just made me feel worse. Poor girl.
Imliterally donewiththis same is took a year for my mom to find out and now everything is locked up even though I stopped a while ago
Izzyisnot Pantsless God that sucks I'm sorry
the last mom's mom sounds like john travolta in hairspray
I wonder how these girls are doing now, seeing as this episode is about 6 years old. I hope they're doing good.
+SARAH656 doing well bad grammar
cool bpb shut the fuck up
you be quiet SLEAZEBAG
SARAH656 Well one of them is cutting.
"I build their self esteem"!
And I build houses made out of fucking straw. See the connection?
Chris Pham I love your intelligence.😚
Cutting is a sign of depression, not acting like an idiot doing drugs and sleeping around... wtf is up with that mom?!?!?
I've never given my parents any reason to snoop, if anything I spend too much time in my room that they actually want me to go out and party and go do shit.
im they same way im a bit anti-social i prefer to live in my room cause of the people i live around and go to school with they are mostly jerks . Ill stick to hanging my family thank you along with my immediate friends who are my family away from home and my pets
Haha, same here. They try to get me to go with friends. XD. I just stick with my pets and family.
My mother read my diary when I was a teen. I was so pissed! Being way to strict makes a child rebellious, or really sneaky.
Jesus that third mom is crazy. You're trying to get her to stop cutting herself, not make her kill herself.
If my parents were that intrusive I would start to resent them soo fast!
I'd move out
That girl with the second woman, Lily, - I'm sorry but she SHOULD be kept tabs on. 15, an 18 year old boy, sneaking out at night.
Maybe not as extreme as it is- but that mother needs to seriously crack down on discipline.
The last mom is an idiot. Cutting is a serious sign of depression/anxiety and she should have brought her daughter to a psychologist immediately. Snooping would only make it worse. 😡
My parents check my ipod and phone almost every night, and i barley leave the house. Like, what the hell? It makes me distrust my parents.
+Dawn “GamerTag” Speed I understand how that can be frustrating as heck, but like this woman said, your parents are probably not worried about your behaviour, but they don't trust people you are in contact with, everyone to them is potentially trying to corrupt their innocent child.
Put a passcode on your phone and iPod
Dawn Speed...Be thankful that they actually CARE about YOU.
It's annoying while you are the teen but please try to understand really bad things happen to young people these days.
I'm sorry. I had a parental snooping problem and it's hard and they don't realize that it will just make kids more sneaky instead of not communicating or doing the things they are afraid of them doing at all they just figure out ways to do it under the radar. Humans are people and as young people grow into adults they have a yearning to become their own person and sometimes they think they are more ready before their parents think they are. So it's important to remember what yellow jacket lady said.
+Dawn Speed I was just a teen not too long ago. I'm 20 now, and I have to say as smart and mature as I was for my age, I still made a lot of terrible decisions. Teens' brains are still in development, and some of the last parts of the brain to develop deal with decision-making and judgment. I didn't think I was making bad decisions at the time but now I know I was pretty damn stupid, and yet way better off still than most of my peers lol. I wasn't monitored or punished at all though, and I desperately wish I was because it has an effect on who you are as an adult and too little discipline and supervision is maybe not as damaging as too much, but it still has an effect.
That last mom made me sooo damn mad. She is so stubborn and doesnt see that her feelings toward how her mother raised her is affecting how she is raises her kids. The hate for her mom is blocking her view and she is not seeing that her kids ARE going to be the wild teen that she was.
Also the body language of that girl is clear to me and her mom cant see it!! Just amazes me.
Yah to argue your daughter who cuts herself has high self-esteem is very likely misplaced.
My parents are so clueless! and now I'm so grateful!
Relax.
The first mom had two really good girls. She was over doing it. You could tell the girls had an innocence about them and that they weren't doing anything despicable. I hope the mom figured out that being a stalker isn't the way.
I've never done anything wrong, ever. I've never given my parents a reason to not trust me. They would never let me stay at friends houses ever. I've never been to a sleep over with friends, just cousins. And I've never had friends sleep over either. I couldn't stop by a Dairy Queen, like 2 streets over from my house and from the school, to eat or hangout or whatever while walking home from school with friends. Even if I'd ask the day before, i couldn't do it. I did one time and my dad slapped me on the side of my face.
I couldn't go to the park to do homework or study with friends. I couldn't walk around our small town with my friend without my parents thinking we were going to meet up with someone. I couldn't stay at a friends house across the street for long before my mom would all or text to come home.
I was only involved in one extracurricular activity throughout high school and that was dance my freshman year. They were so angry because that meant I had to go to every football game and perform with the team.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years already and they don't let me stay out til past 10. He's the only guy I've had sex with and that have met my parents. Pretty much my first real boyfriend. I'm turning not 19 in 2 months.
Sometimes they don't even let me go out with him. Yet they don't like him coming over sometimes either because they can't go about their normal day with him there.
I do kind of blame them for lots of things. I couldn't really enjoy being young. Very strict parents. They were very vague about their feelings as well. Never told me they loved me and to this day they never do.
So yes. Strict parents create sneaky kids. I sneak out, go to parties (not often), hangout with my boyfriend. It sucks that I have to be sneaking out to hangout with my boyfriend and to try and actually be normal and socialize with other people without feeling guilty or on edge about what my parents will think or where I am at.
I do wish they would stop. I have a brother who is turning 21 and he goes out whenever and sometimes they don't even know he's gone. I've tried moving out with my boyfriend to his house and my mom pretty much told me if I did then I couldn't come back.
I wish parents weren't like this. It really takes away the whole idea of being young and experiencing growing up..
That's on the verge of abuse
Valeria Aguilar I would try talking to them one last time. If that doesn't work then maybe you should just go, move out, and don't ever look back. Honestly, your home life sounds awful, borderline abusive. Well you said your dad slapped you, and your parents are emotionally detached, so that IS abusive. I know it's scary, the thought of not being able to come back, but wouldn't it be better than staying there with them? Would you really WANT to go back? You need to do whatever makes you happy, and they seem to be prohibiting that. Life is too short to be miserable.
Valeria Aguilar I'm so sorry for your pain. My parents were quite strict but not anything like yours. So you're 18 and they won't let you come home if you move out with your boyfriend? Is that right? I feel like I'm missing something. In the UK an adult is 18. Are you still in school; are they asking you to stay until you finish? Maybe they don't want you to change your routine or have a stressful experience like moving before final exams? If you are 18 and have finished school, let them know you need their support if you are moving out. Ask them why they wouldn't let you come home if you did move out. Perhaps they think he's 'trouble'? I hope everything turns out ok.
I used to sneak out sometimes, but didn't have a steady boyfriend, and sought the attention I wasn't getting at home elsewhere.. Ultimately I put myself in dangerous situations with, in hindsight, predictable outcomes... I blame my parents too for not being there to support me when I was a teenager. I was the oldest and much of the attention went on the younger children. I read about a theory (bit old-fashioned but interesting) that female teenagers needed lots of attention and support at home, otherwise they tend to turn to promiscuity and, like me, seek attention elsewhere. This is a time when higher moral development, social interaction, and decision making processes that you are developing could benefit from being nurtured rather than ignored. For example I had so many fights or falling outs with friends, which it would have been good to talk to my Mum about without fear of judgement or criticism. Just things like that, sitting down to talk things over with them, would have been helpful. It sounds like you're a lot more grounded than I was at that age.
I'm so sorry your parents don't tell you they love you. I hope you know they do. It's not uncommon for some families to behave like this, and be emotionally reserved, but I feel it is important that you feel loved. I wonder if you said 'I love you' to them, how they would respond. Maybe you could leave notes lying around the house for them saying 'I love you, thank you for being my Dad/Mum', as that might be less confrontational than saying it aloud... And ask for hugs, and give them hugs... And gradually change the pattern of behaviour/interaction in the house?
I do hope everything turns out ok, sending lots of support and love to you. You are loved, Valeria Aguilar.
Valeria Aguilar I had the same problems you have... with my parents up until the age of 20 and it only stopped because i got soo mad and fed up with how i was being treated that one day i packed my things and moved in with my boyfriend...things changed then...they wanted me back soo much that when i did move back (due to being accepted at top university i was applying to transfer to and they offered to pay for the fees if i came back, which they did)...that once i did move back i was aloud to have more freedom i was able to go to my friends houses and go out with my friends, and was able to see my boyfriend during the day and i even was able to stay over at his... i was able to have a life while being with my family and trust me i was warned before i left that if i ever did i would be out of their life for good but the opposite happened....I'm not saying it could be the same result for you but if you just get up and go they will go into panic mode and will do anything to have you back...they will change because they have no choice but to do so.. i hope things get better for you but your gonna have to do something in order to do so... my parents also used to beat me so i understand the fear but be strong and do something to change your life or your anger and resentment will just keep growing.
Thank you guys so much!!!
I can understand that these mother's worry about their teens getting into trouble. But at the same time, they as the mother need to build a trust with their kids and I feel like they're not building that trust, thus giving them some right to snoop on them. When I became a teen yeah I did rebel on my parents but thankfully they didn't snoop like these parents have. I got my first computer at 16, but I didn't have a social media page like facebook until I was around 22 because it wasn't for me as a teen. Plus i needed a computer for school. Going back to these moms, I personally believe if they keep doing what they're doing, their kids will only resent them later on. Honestly if I were in these girl's situation, I would never want to speak to my parents again because they don't realize this is not helping our relationship. It's like if you can't trust me as your child, I'm done, gone.
OK Two things...
1) I love how she cares enough about her daughters to watch out for them, and check up on them to make sure they're safe.
2) She does NOT have to know every little detail about their lives!
Isn't there supposed to be trust in love?
A word of caution to the "snooping" mothers out there, you only get one chance to raise your child, continue down this path and your children will hate you forever. Build their confidence and grow the trust, don't take it from them by going behind their back. Q
That's just an invasion of privacy
that first lady once her kids are adults and out of the house shit man they may not even want to keep in touch with her.
Savhonna Yoeun she might b on their tail even when they move out she too crazy
with the first lady.. if you dont want your kids to be pregnant, talk about sex and condoms..
Anyavideolife What do you mean?😶
The first mother will just make her kids more sneaky
my older sister would tell my mom she was hanging out with a friend but was somewhere else and ended up pregnant so I understand the last mom's fear
Not every fucking "registered sex offender" is a legitimate sexual offender. Some of them were wrongly prosecuted, or simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Second, just because you're on the sex offender registry doesn't mean that you are constantly on the prowl looking for little kids to take advantage of. That's why there a sexual offender section, and a sexual predator section. A predator is always on the lookout for a new victim. Offenders are usually one time offenders. And are generally, as I said, simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.
With the first mom I was cool with it until she said body search.
That first mom is nuts.
oh hell no i get the second mother's reasons for snooping...da fuck kind of 15 year old goes out at night past their curfew???? Pshhh I'd lose my trust as a parent too.
I totally agree! I had to ask for permission to go to the park when i was 15
agreed..the first parent is over bearing though.
but you have to understand i mean theyre teenagers and teenagers like to explore different things and will make mistakes during the course but thats part of a better life making mistakes and learning from them these moms arent teaching these girls a lesson on what theyre doing so theyre just gonna push them into being bad girls while being accused of being bad girls cause theyre getting treated like that
Um, I would say a LOT of 15 year olds sneak out past their curfew. Not saying I agree with it at all, but it's ignorant to believe that not many do it.
when i was 15 and even till this day i am 20 years old still living with my grandparents. I have to get permission for leaving the house. If im gonna be late i call my grandma or grandpa that is just the right thing to do. teenager or not. and another thing these kids need to be thankful that they have someone that cares that much about them. a lot of people cant say that they have someone that cares that much about them.
33:00 That blonde lady behind Alexandra is like "Don't laugh at her voice, don't laugh at her voice *chuckle* Okay, regaining composure."
I grew up with so many friends with really strict snoopy parents and they all would still do the bad things their parents don't want them to do just behind their backs. You have to learn from life mistakes sooner or later.
My mom is a blessing. I mean she is a bit protective, but she respects my privacy. And by she doing this, I know better than to break that trust.
After my mum took my phone away for nearly a year now, I seriously couldn't thank her enough. Really opened up my eyes and made me more mature haha.
My mother checks my phone some nights, of course I don't want her to but if she discovers something she doesn't like we sit down and have a civilised conversation. I know she does it because she loves me,she does trust me and I am forever grateful to have such a amazing mother.
I really like that that lady said that you should be up front with your kids about monitoring them instead of snooping behind their back. I think if my parents were up front and honest with me during my teenage years about that we would probably have had a much different and better relationship
What the fuck has it gotta do with your parents if you have sex when your 16? Don't get me wrong, protecting your daughter is a priority but this is going to far...
Im 16 and I dont even process the idea of sneaking out. Are you crazy child!!?? Especially in new york you do not go out on the street by yourself at night. God damn!!!
If my mom did this I would hate this and the mom is trying to make her stop cutting herself like you're gonna make you kill her self and the first mom has no trust in her daughter for no reason and wtf she is making her daughter strip, smell her, and go through all her phone, and diary that's a violation of privacy. As a teen you need the slightest space and privacy from your parents like god damn.
Grownups can make mistakes. Their parents made mistakes and they saw that when they were teens and did a lot to change that for their kids and you will see things your parents do that you don't like and when you are a parent (if that is your choice), you will work to change those things. Then your kids will see mistakes you make and they will change those things and so on. Each generation gets strong doing this, so it is very good. Some of a parents' choice making is fear motivated and as you know yourself, it is very hard sometimes to act like your better self if you become afraid. So she might not be doing what we would do in her place, but through the fear I can still see the love. If you mess up as an adult in the real world by breaking rules, you go to jail or you get hurt or worse. That can happen to kids too, but it happens much more often and with much harsher consequences when your an adult and you don't change very much between 17 and 18 but the rules and punishments change drastically. Even if you choose not to listen to your Mom's rules, try to keep the "why" behind the behavior in mind. Though it sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with yours unlike these poor kids.
*****
Yes that happens too. I was homeless at 16 because my parent, the only one I had left crumbled under the death of the other and could no longer parent us. So I do know what it is like to have the ones in control of your life, drop the ball. I forgive them. Because they are people and vulnerable to limitation. Just like we are. Each person has different capacities for things like love, problem solving, empathy, and resiliency for healing from their own experienced trauma. Some of us can bend. Some of us can recover. Some of us crumble, break, behave badly, or simply don't make it at all. Try to broaden your own concept of compassion if you can and your own resiliency. They will not always control your situations. You deserve and they deserve to be treated well. It becomes a downhill situation when needs are not or cannot be met. If your needs are not being met, it is very likely that those who control your daily life are missing something as well and though it is not your job to fill those needs, it is good to keep these things in mind because their behavior makes more sense and does less damage over the long term. I do not know your situation, but I am sorry your are having a hard time and I truly hope it gets better for you. In time, you will be the maker of your world. You will be the adult and get to choose who is in your life and what job you do, or what you are interested in and who you want to see. Some day you will be in the position to make those decisions, but I can tell you from experience, no bad decision that my very dysfunctional parents ever made for me, was more damaging then being out in the world too young. They were not good parents. Terrible in fact, but they were very good hearted people, who I believe in their own way suffered from over exposure to a broken heart. A common problem in our world today. Maybe you or someone in your generation will make this better. Stranger things have happened.
As long as you are alive there is always the possability that it can get better, but nothing gets better if you are dead. Dead is very final. The value of a human life is measured by what we leave in our wake. Be it good or bad and this is only in what we do or create because our thoughts and feelings don't leave lasting impressions. Only what we say, do, or make. Thoughts and feelings are only motivators. When someone close to me killed themselves a few years back I realized that every single person who ever loved them would hurt for the rest of their lives. I decided right then, that this is not what I want the value of my own life to be when I am gone. A sentencing to a world of permanent pain when someone thinks of me and a world of long term suffering from my absence. I stopped feeling suicidal after he died. Today I am really glad that I didn't because I would have missed things that I would not trade now for the world. The future is wide open. Death is very final. If you lived in my area, I would immediately redirect you to a helpline. I wish I could do that now. Instead I am opening myself up in a vulnerable way, hoping that might offer some compassion and enough care to get you through another day. Just one more day. Every day try to think in terms of finding that one thing that can get you through just one more day. Please, please. Do not hurt yourself. Call someone. There are tons of helplines out there with people who are licensed to help with these kinds of feelings. I am not. I can only put as much effort into an answer over god knows how many miles and hope that you have not harmed yourself. If you are not comfortable calling a person who might know what will help, at least call a friend who can be a good sounding board so you can vent and get some of the weight you are feeling off of your own chest.
I have anxiety, and the thought of my parents doing this to me is terrifying
lol NSA needs this woman!
2cool0 😂
Lolol the technology is so old😂
The first mothers daughter, in the purple, is so freaking pretty. Tyra needs to bring her on ANTM. Her look is so unique and beautiful.
At age 15 I left my home to go to another country to study and be an au pair, my mom would call me sometimes asking if I was eating well and if I had made any good friends...that's all.
ridhonna Your mom was looking out for you.
The only thing I would not do is get on the Tyra show and expose myself
Ikr😂😂
Lindani Bhengu 😂
This is why kids and parents don't have a good relationship nowadays. The pressure from parents to observe every little detail, makes kids want to have their own free life.
moms used to care, most moms now are just like "meh"
Meh
meh
valerie seraphina What do you mean?😶