This is one of the most absurd things I’ve ever responded to.
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- čas přidán 28. 11. 2022
- Why even get married if that was how you felt about the other person? I proposed to my wife because she funny and she was smart and her perspectives on the world made my world a little better. We’ve been married 12 years and I cannot even imagine what the majority of our marriage would have been like if I felt like I had just married an object. This blows my mind.
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Meanwhile his wife: "For ten years, I thought he just refuses to see my perspective, he's a regular self-centred jerk. Took me ten years to realize he's really just THAT stupid!"
True that!
And if (when) they divorce, he'll say "I just don't know what went wrong? I finally started treating her like a human being and what that's not enough? Acknowledging her humanity, after 10 years of seeing her as irrational and less than, wasn't enough? Women these days just ask for too much"
I guarantee you this woman was only able to stay married to him because she at some point accepted that he was a moron, but he was HER moron. She’s a saint.
Yes exactly. This is how us women think. We are too kind. We never realize that some men are just THAT stupid!
Pretty sure she clocked him WAY before the first ten years.
Going on a public platform to basically say "I didn't understand that my wife was an actual person and not just a thing for me to have" is a bold move
It's like that comedian says, "Imagine if we talked about females in the animal world, just like we do our women? Like oh, David got bit by a girl shark. Dave's _such_ a wuss for letting a girl shark bite him." What the _actual_ fck?! It's as if the Dunning-Kruger effect IS _so_ strong with this whole group! They're such egotistical douch-bags. *sigh😣
@@11footmidget92 Who are you talking to? Who in this thread said people don't change? 😂
Bold or just stupid? those are two different things.
@@11footmidget92 being a changed person now doesn't excuse things you used to do or believe in the past. People are capable of great change, I agree. That he did not realize his wife had a different POV of the world (every person does) for the first 10 years of his marriage is laughable because it's a level of understanding that most people get to when they are kids. If it took religion for him to arrive at that level of understanding that's deeply concerning and we should not applaud someone for doing something that they are supposed to understand in the first place. It is not an achievement to understand that other people are full human beings with their own inner world.
@@11footmidget92 yeahh but we alsoo need to meditate what led him to think that way in the first place. What lead men to think woman are less than them. And in the christian community they do that too, they meditate what leads people to sin.
Soo why you think critizicing that mentality is wrong ? And why, if he regret the way he acted, he doesn't meditate on the social idiologies that lead him to that toxic mentality?
My secret to 32 years of happy, successful marriage? - Not treating my wife as a being less than our dog was a really good starting point.
Noice
Ok but take it easy on dogs.
@Jennifer Dominguez if this is how he speaks highly of her, I don't want to know what he says when he is upset with her.
That's an incredibly low bar... like insultingly low. And there are lots of women in marriages where they are treated worse than the dog.
But do you REALLY know. Who's not to say that if you treated her like a little untrained puppy l, that you wouldn't have an even better marriage. Makes sense! ...
The crazy irony is that he's demonstrating that his capacity for reason has been deeply impaired by sexism.
this comment is interesting, male cognition is actually different than female because of the effect of testosterone on the brain compared to estrogen, so males tend to be linear thinkers and women tend to be nonlinear thinkers, with diffuse awareness and women also tend to be emotional thinkers primarily relying primarily on their emotions where men rely on reason primarily with a healthy distrust for their own emotions..
@@theironson1043 You need to read up on current neurobiology. There is zero evidence for a difference in male and female brains. The behavioral differences are all down to socialization. This makes a lot of people uncomfortable and they get defensive and upset, especially men.
@theironson1043 did you learn that in the tiktok college of science? podcast university?
@@theironson1043 That’s a complete misapplication of data that has gone around the internet and unfortunately been repeated a lot, like what you did.
@The Tiny Cat House This men are taught to not use their emotions in decision making by leaps like this guy is making. Which is what leads them to making worse decisions because they aren't using all the information available to them
Simultaneously calls her smart and incapable of reason, gotta love misogynists making an absolute fool out of themselves with their inability to reason 😂
yes, I am speechless... but let's not pretend he's "just" any ole' toxic man, this one is a narcissist... maybe even a psych0p@th.
@@jasperhernandez7364 How would you call a person who doesn't believe women are capable of reason? That they are somewhere between babies and animals? (Though question is, why would he marry a person with such a limited cognitive capabilities (in his opinion). Kinda make their relationship gross, if he didn't think she would be capable of informed consent...).
@@tymondabrowski12 Thank you! I was thinking how gross that mentality is too.
smart just means capable of following commands like a pet, like a border collie.
@@this_is_japes7409 That's not "smart", it is trained to follow simple commands. There's a bat distance between the two.
Breaking news: *women are people!*
*gasp* oh no you didn't you witch 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Fake news!
What a novel idea
You have successfully shooketh the traditional sexist bigots to their core somewhere.
LIES!
"You suddenly become one flesh, one person" sounds a LOT like "I realized my wife could think, so now she's an extension of me, not an individual with different wants, needs, thoughts, or desires."
Yeah, that sounded dodgy to me.
Same
BINGO!
Agreed! That was a very strange conclusion. Some of these dudes are wild.
Thanks ! That's exactly what I thought. Disturbing.
😩😩😩I bet he feels like he said something powerful and life transforming
Yes this was absolutely an earth shaking revelation for him🤦
@@saragates2255 a revelation he knows other males have not had, thus he shall be their leader and guide!
@@jenniferindigochameleon6680 The audacity of this guy is.... Unrivaled!
It was his huge ego speaking. Well, aren’t you a clever little boy!
I mean it is a life transforming event. But we normally call it a “developmental milestone” in toddlers 😂
I wonder if it took less than 10 years for his wife to realise she's married to a complete coconut.
A complete coconut is a beautiful description of that man !
@@Bella-ss7xy Well thank you Bella 😸
Hey now, that's an insult to coconuts. Coconuts actually have substance
@@EtamirTheDemiDeer I totally agree, coconuts are better (and the one fruit that makes me 🤮)
@@EtamirTheDemiDeer they might have substance, but much like this guy’s head, coconuts are hollow and filled with water
In the film "Lars and the Real Girl", Ryan Gosling's character falls in love and forms a relationship with a sex doll. He takes care of her, has her meet other people, shares important things with her, and listens to her opinions. In that film, this character shows more respect and care to this doll than this man probably showed his wife in all their years together. I can't imagine someone discussing another human being, let alone his wife, with this much contempt.
The worst part is, no matter how awful it gets, she'll never leave because she's been conditioned to stay no matter what
I need to see that film.
@@rs5570 It is really good!! I saw it a few years back and still think about it every so often
@@rs5570 it is very very good!
I love that film! The way the whole community takes care of both of them. And I loved that the relationship grew, had struggles but he worked to have a better relationship because he listen and valued his partner.
I studied eighteenth century British history and this was a prevailing view of women for quite a long time (not capable of truly rational thinking , capable only of simple emotion - as opposed to the rapture that men were capable of - kind of like incomplete males and slightly above children). It disturbs me greatly every time I am reminded that there are still people who think this way.
Yup. This is what writers like Austen and Wollstonecraft were writing about. They were mocking the idiots that held these views. The "women can't reason" comes from the enlightenment thinkers like Kant, and was very prevalent all over Europe. Hence why women couldn't vote.
It’s amazing that we still haven’t moved past the 18th century. I work at a place where we deal with customers all day. One of the women that I work with tells me all the time that there are men that come in and tell her she shouldn’t be at work, she should be home taking care of her man and her baby. Like she is a terrible woman for being at work. Like she wouldn’t love to be home taking care of her baby. Some customers won’t even let her help them they have to have a male associate.
These are the musings that cause me to reflect and THANK GOD I wasn't born two hundred years ago or more! ... Then I wonder if women born two hundred years from now will feel the same way...🤔
@@saragates2255 I sincerely hope things have improved so much in the future that women looking back at this time say the same thing.
The middle ages church debated constantly whether or not women had souls. I don't believe anyone has souls but these people believed men did. Women? Who knows? There were also theories that women were misshapen men caused by evil/sin done by pregnant women. All lovely stuff.
I cannot even begin to explain to you how many men believe this, but either don't have to words to express it or the guts to announce it.
I started dating again a year ago.... I KNOW you are right 100%
I feel, it's been harder and harder to become an actual adult. I feel that the economic system encourages and feeds out of "baby grown-ups". They spend more money, they ware off their bodies more, and they need something new constantly conciously or not. When people is modest and deep, less money will flow.
As a heterosexual woman I have encounter many men wanting to date me, BUT without listening to what I say or having real chemistry between us. They just want to keep going forward with "whatever". Does someone who do not listen to me really cares about what they themselves are saying to me? I don't think so, Rick.
*Cough* my ex-husband *cough*.
@@artifundio1 So true. Women take on the burden of trying to figure out if you are actually compatible as a couple, and men just complain we're too picky and they dont get any matches on their dating profiles. And then ten years into the marriage wonder why their wife hates them.
@@y0utuberculosis oh yes! 🙈
@@missnaomi613 *cough MINE TOO *cough
sadly I think a lot of men think this way. I've had more than one boyfriend say they didn't want to watch a move because they couldn't relate to the character because they were a woman, or black, or disabled, or whatever. That's literally WHY it's interesting. Why would you only want to watch a movie about people like you??
@kshamwhizzle Men don't have inherent value, they have to build it and are largely invisible from the start, women on the other hand are the ones who actually have inherent value (beauty/fertility), the men are expected to approach women and so it doesn't make statistical or logical sense to suggest that the avg man is entitled given that they are not in demand, the avg woman is only attracted to 20% of men unless you are using an apex fallacy and mistaking the lives of a very small percentage of men with the avg mans life, men are also highly empathic and are just as emotionally intelligent as women, and they feel just as deeply if not even deeper than women thats not the issue,
Feminist are definitely a major factor in male self deletion, this is undeniable, males are routinely seen as toxic, the women are taught to hate men and think they are better than them, and feminism is behind this and the duluth model as well as the doctorines currently steam rolling males and families nation wide...it gets even more obvious when u realize that the rockefellers funded feminism to double the tax base and destroy the nuclear family by financially emasculating males and giving women a leg up thereby replacing the male role and rendering them obsolete.. becoming obsolete and invisible has a way of making a person want to self delete many men no longer have a purpose in this world..
They are extremely self-centered and incapable of empathy, and society keeps enabling and glorifying that.
@@Hello-hello-hello456 Empathy and emotional availability has a way of scaring off the "fair-sex", unfortunately the traits you are complaining about tend to be the one's most sought after by whamen statistically, as far as my last comment, there's plenty nuggets just requires an open mind.
@@Hello-hello-hello456 They aren't incapable unless they have a issue with their brain that makes them that way, and that's not many. Most just aren't taught how to express empathy, and you're right society does keep doing that.
"you think the only people who are people/ are the people who look and think like you"
So, ehm, wait.
He said his wife didn't have "the capacity for reason".
That means that he didn't ask her to marry him, because of course, that doesn't make sense when someone isn't sapient.
It also means he never had sex with her, because she can't consent.
Right?
RIGHT?!
Not creepy at all. Look, I just bought, I mean married a new toy!!
You are absolutely correct, it's horrifying and I'm not sure what the hell the point of his speech is accept to make himself look like a complete monster.
At the risk of playing devil's advocate, he looks to be of the age that he may have asked her parents for permission to marry her.
However beyond that, yes sure seems that way and yes the ick
Well, let's talk, have a sit.
@@bellablue5285 No, not beyond that. Asking a girl's parents for permission but not asking her, because she's not capable of reason, is not ok.
He thought she was smart when he married her but had no capacity for reason...
"Smart" probably just means "agrees with me" and "doesn't mess up"
He said she was HOT. Why did she marry him?
Truth all up here
@@emjakos3548 I feel like it means "smart" like when you call an animal smart
@@costaldevomito I believe you are correct. We usually judge how smart an animal is by how obedient it is to humans. This is what many men do with women, if you agree with them and are obedient then you are one of the smart ones.
One of the most defeating and dehumanizing things I've ever heard said was my father telling a friend of his that i argued so well sometimes it SEEMED like I was right.
It showed me that nothing i could say would ever have any causative force with him--that I could fulfill all the necessary requirements of persuasion, but I would never actually persuade him because I was his daughter.
Kind of like how Descartes thought animals' cries of pain when he tortured them didn't signify pain but rather were just sounds like when a bagpipe is squeezed. I showed the outward appearance of reason but it was unthinkable that I could actually be capable of it.
You are a beautiful writer!
I’m so sorry you grew up like that.💔
The mention of Descartes always makes me wince. His hubris and cruelty suggests psychopathy rather than Rationalism. When he is brought up in a discussion, I look around for a dog to scratch on as if this somehow evens the balance of his cruelty.
@@alyssawoodman She is!
You properly use "causative force" nonchalantly and explain your point using, but not quoting, Descartes and he still didn't think you could be right. That man is THICK!
A few months ago, we had a motivational speaker at my job. He was talking about unconscious bias, and how "we all have it in us". As someone who's acutely aware of mine, I was really looking forward to this seminar. The guy, unironically, goes: I really like women. That's why I've been married 3 times. M'dude, that doesn't sound as flattering as you think it sounds.
He then went on to unconsciously show unconscious bias towards the women in the group attending. 🙄 I called him out on it.
I mean, no better way to teach than with an example, right?
Thanks for calling it out! Not everyone can or will speak up.
What a douche! Glad you called him out.
Then what happened? You can’t leave us hanging just when it’s getting good. What did he say?
My mother’s husband was married 5x before landing on my mom (she really got herself a great one 🙄), once while arguing with me as a teenager he said
“I’ve been married 6 times, ever think I know something about women?”
And I said
“You’ve been divorced 5x, ever think maybe it’a YOU?”
Imagine being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t think you have the capacity to reason. Should we check in on his wife? I bet her mental health is fried if she has to live with this
She doesn't "have to ". She's probably as awful as him.
@@r.d.whitaker5787 Found the misogynist lmao
@@DeathnoteBB Found the enabler.
@@r.d.whitaker5787
Wow, guess you haven't taken a look around reality for a while. Guess you bever heard of marriage situstions where females are basically force to stay in the marriage eiter due to kids, financial situations, or even just traumatized mindset. One person does not equal the other; much less is victim blaming normalized. Pull out from your fragile covers and take a look around the world, you'd be surprised.
@@FishieFishFosh ENABLING IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING A VICTIM.
....aaaaand this is why just because you CAN have kids doesn't mean you SHOULD. Some people just aren't mature enough to see the world through another's eyes. Which is almost the entirety of parenting. Who pays for it? The kids.
Amen, sister. Preach it.
You think he would parent his own kids? I'm sure he had his incapable-of-reasoning hot female do it for him.
@@SomeUniqueHandle probably a good thing if so too, although she would have had a lot of work on her hands doing so as well.
such a great point!
It also doesn't help that on top of that, a lot of adults see children as property or little versions of themselves, rather than being their own separate humans. Just layers on top of layers of trauma being inflicted.
It’s not even the words he said that make his alleged change in perspective so disingenuous. It’s his tone.
I’m entirely willing to accept that someone could go 10 years being so absolutely misguided, then realize their grave error and earnestly desire to become a better person. But I would expect such a person to talk about their part way of thinking with a much more somber and remorseful attitude, not flippantly as though that’s just a normal way for people to think.
I assume it's because he thinks his wife is unusual. He never says he thinks women in general are capable of reason. He's very specific.
I was thinking the same thing. What he’s saying isn’t inherently bad, especially if someone has misguided ways of thinking from various sources. It’s the fact he’s framing these revelations as something profound and amazing, rather than showing admittance that he was foolish for these perceptions.
He's not the least bit sorry that held the person he promised to love, honor and cherish in contempt for ten years.
OThis man is an mysoginistic jerk. Still hasn’t used his “reasoning”.
@@cassierobertson5778 How do you know he doesn't think the same thing about most men too? I don't know who he is so maybe that's the part I'm missing, but you see what he's describing in lots of people with theory of mind problems. It's not that they think other people don't think, it's that they find to hard to truly understand that other people do not think and know exactly the same stuff as them, so when other people don't come to the same conclusions as them they get frustrated and cognitive dissonance leads them to think the other person can't use reason. If he has theory of mind problems then that would also explain why he says this sort of stuff on a podcast, he may fully well not realise how he will look to other people.
It took him a decade. He doesn’t realize he’s the slower person in that relationship. TEN YEARS!!
Well he is the slow one after all
The guy wants a medal (after a *decade* of daily life with another adult human) for realizing that that person had complex emotions and thought capability equal to, or very likely greater, than his own. "Aren't I an amazing person? I noticed after 10 years that my wife is a human?!? Who could have guessed?" Narcissistic misogyny at such epic levels it's flabbergasting.
Most men I’ve been with treated me like an anecdote in their life story. Someone to fill in the cracks in their life. An accessory. Someone with out needs. Needs are problematic. Must find woman who needs nothing.
Yep, I’m 55 and never even came close to wanting to be married.
Unfortunately, very much same
Lol but entirely self-sufficient women would usually rather stay single than date guys like that.
@@elsagrace3893 I'm 36 and never felt the need to have children or enter into a marriage, but there are moments of outer pressure to confirm; and in those moments I wonder if I will regret my decision and will lose out on something. Nevertheless, deep down I know I just don't have any desire.
I can't manufacture a need. I just don't care to be paired up and have offspring. It's probably because I was the second of nine kids and was parentified from a very young age to the point of being left at home with the younger ones from the ages of 5 on. Then seeing the utter misery and abuse of my parents' marriage and the marriages of everyone in my church community made me really see the institution as indentured servitude for women (consequently, I'm an atheist).
These social mores are artificial to our biological selves. Wanting offspring isn't artificial, but I somehow think there is a link between so many people who are my age and younger that are rejecting the traditional hetero family life because of overpopulation. There was a study done with rats that the more populated a colony got, the lower the birth rates were. There's gotta be some biological/sociological effect at play here.
@@ImNotaRussianBot Solid. You seem like an interesting person. And having to become essentially a parent when you were a kid sounds terrible.
God I hate that we live in a society where people can say crap like this with no real backlash.
And if they do get backlash people just think "it's the woke mob going crazy again" or something.
Give them backlash tho
Oh there's some backlash. There's a comedian says, "Imagine if we talked about females in the animal world, just like we do our women? Like oh, David got bit by a girl shark. Dave's _such_ a wuss for letting a girl shark bite him." What the actual fck?! It's as if the Dunning-Kruger effect is _so very_ strong within this whole group! They're such egotistical douch-bags, that are so stupid they seriously believe they know it all. *sigh😣
And even worse, have a bunch of their Bros and “Manosphere” allies praise him for it😑
Backlash hurts their feelings. We can't have that.
And this is why, statistically, women used to flourish after the death of their husbands while men floundered and shift into 'remarry or die' mode because they could not function without their wife (read: emotional support bangmom). Don't know how common it is today, but clearly it still exists. That woman is going to live her best life after this dude's in the ground.
Why are we still surprised? This is what misogyny is, and has always been.
Please, someone, interview his wife!
And if she says similar stuff jokingly about him you'll cheer, "yaaaaas queen slay".
If I were Andrew Klavan's wife, I sure as hell wouldn't advertise it
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@@deathtakes He WASN'T joking. He was being serious, and expecting to be applauded for it.
Dang. I've had men treat me like I'm stupid before and now I have a fear of ending up marrying someone like this, because often these guys are really good at manipulating you into marrying them because they seem amazing and caring, but once you're married, they show you that they just see you as unintelligent property. This has happened to several women I know. It's horrifyingly common.
Just don't get married until you're certain you really know that person. A lot of people jump in the deep end quickly and regret it. You can have a strong and loving relationship without it being legally binding.
It's a common story
@@salem1281some people really play the long game. Avoiding abuse isn't a "just dont do this" situation. Its sneaky and hard to see when you're in it and its starting
Disagree with him and see his reaction. Narcissistic people DO NOT like boundaries. They can't hear a no.
My wife took my breath away. I couldn't speak properly. Took me 2 weeks of seeing her everyday to be able to muster the courage enough to give my number to her coworker. I ran home from work (2.8 miles in dress shoes) because I missed my bus. She called 20 minutes after I got home. We stayed on the phone all night. The next morning I had flowers delivered to her. Our first date was 16 June 1996. She still takes my breath away.
❤
This is so cute ❤
My aunt and uncle were married for 50 years. He would tell her how "damn sexy" she was and make her blush and giggle like a schoolgirl. They were both in their 70s, had been married since their 20s.
Unfortunately cancer took them both, first her, then he went after.
So sweet!
Thank you for sharing that lovely example of how a man should talk about his wife ❤️
Wow! Men like you are so rare!❤️
I'm trying to get my brain around the idea that one would marry a person one believed had no capacity for reason. And I'm trying to work out in my head whether a relationship like that would be properly considered slavery, bestiality, or the worst combination of both. Why would you want to marry anyone you didn't consider human, and how fragile would you have to be to seek out and marry someone who was not at least your intellectual equal?
Men like him (and there are a LOT) are the most comfortable the more powerless women are. Having a wife is like purchasing a tool to them. When was the last time you cared if a hammer or knife you bought had the ability to reason?
Remember that time one of our Founding Fathers, Mr Intellectual himself, kept a literal sex slave?
@@vocexseta but a hammer doesnt take 9 months inside a human to be made, doesnt have flesh like me, doesnt have a growth cycle like me, doesnt go to school like me. It doesnt eat the food I do, it doesnt speak the language I do, it lacks the ability to communicate at all.
I honestly think it has to be something MORE than just misogyny and nonfunctioning braincells. It has to be full on main character syndrome, "only I am fully human" and that's why they have no meaningful relationships even with other men, they just respect men bc that's what they're taught, but do not trust or love them. No friends, only reputation and status. No passions or hobbies, only money/someone else's hard labor.
And above all, it's probably projection. If they dont have the functioning to be a full compassionate and loving human with good rationality, then others are even less able than themself. Most of this damage is multigenerational conditioning that also gives us racists, boomers, karens and serial k1//ers
The first reason he listed for marrying his wife is "she was hot" that alone already told me how the rest of the video was going to go.
I just can't imagine what it would feel like to hear my husband say that.
You know the part in Aliens where Ripley comes out inside the mover and attacks the alien? I imagine it would feel a lot like that.
grounds for divorce.
I can. It would feel like I was real single after hearing that.
Well it sounds to me writing sound when I sign divorce pappers
To me, the bigger concern is that this man may be raising children. Where to even start...
The internet says he has two kids :(
And the stuff he wrote about his young daughter...🤢
@@alexwyatt2911 who is he??
Based on this clip, I'd say his wife is raising two children and he is getting in the way and hamstringing her efforts.
@@NaomiJameston His name is Andrew Klavan.
That guy was like, wait a minute, for the last 10 years of my marriage I totally ignored my wife but a lot of the things she said was actually right and to top it off she sees things differently from me? Oh my God! Mind. Blown!! 😱😱
Who IS this guy?
"Smart" but "not capable of reason", gotta love the rational minded, self aware, observational skills of a man who took 10 years to realize he was a victim of the dunning kreuger effect...
I've often used the talking dog analogy when responding to men who have finally 'seen me'. Specifically I ask, 'what's more amazing... that the dog can talk or that it says something worth listening to?' What's truly maddening is that these men think they've made some grand discovery, like I (or any woman) somehow didn't really exist until they recognized me. It's a Schrodinger's cat kind of existence.
Can you explain the analogy to me? I tried googling it but couldn't find anything
@@aikaameya3930 Very oversimplified explanation here but it's the idea that if you put a cat in a box with a toxin, say, and then close the box and leave it for a while... In your mind the cat could be both alive and dead in that box until you open it and then see that it is either one or the other but not both simultaneously. Pretty much the same idea with guys realizing that women can actually be smart and capable of reason only when they "open the box" and see it for themselves. It's like it can only be true to them if they see it for themselves which requires that they have the curiosity to find out and take notice. But in reality something could be true without having to have it confirmed by human understanding. Something can be true without you having to see it yourself, so you didn't discover it or invent it; it was already there. The cat was dead, for example, whether you looked at it right away or not. Women are intelligent and capable of reason, regardless of whether a man notices or not. He's not a genius for coming to that realization finally 🤣 It was obvious from the start.
@@carolynmacdonald7024 ohh like schrodingers cat. Thank you for the explanation it was very helpful! And you're totally right. The realisation that women are individuals with a brain and not a hivemind comes surprising to some men. It's honestly kind of shocking
@@aikaameya3930 I am very confused now, as you said you googled it and couldn't figure out what it was, then got it explained and said exactly the same name as the original you asked about did.... O.O confusion
@@wildstarsful I didn't know the two analogies were related. I thought they were two different things 😅
I was with someone who was about 10 years older than me. After time and time again of being right about a lot of things he confessed to me that because of the age difference he thought that I was somehow... naive or ignorant compared to him, but realized that it was the other way around. Not just about practical things, but the basis of our very relationship and what constitutes a healthy one. That's kind of how it's been my whole life, telling men the truth about the world that they are failing to see, being told I'm wrong by them only for them to realize how right I was. By the time they realize I was right, it's always too late and I've left them. I'm not their mother and I'm tired of being their teacher ever patiently hoping for them to realize the thing I've been blatantly telling them.
Agree
Word.
Yup
"It's amazing! After 10 years, I finally realized I married another human!"
I was thinking I married a sexy dog
And the publicness of it... He lived with her for a decade and didn't see her as an equal and to add insult to the injury, he's proudly stating that to everyone, having it recorded. That poor woman.
That felt surreal. That someone had finally found the perfect words to verbalise a sincere belief in this viewpoint with absolutely no shame at all. I kept waiting for the shame to come, but it never did.
I feel bad for his wife. She’s clearly in an abusive relationship.
This man having such a revelation on a woman having an independent brain just shows how much poison is fed to boys about girls and how this reflects into adult men.
And don't think this comes solely from dad's. It comes from everywhere. I knew plenty of boys raised by single mothers who never or rarely saw their dads, but because their moms over compensated and babied these boys they grew into the most selfish abusive men you could imagine. Everything we do with our children sends a message and teaches a lesson.
I would be bewildered if he's still married.
I'd love to see his wife's reaction to this interview
Unfortunately, he probably is.
Y'all the absolute worst part is i bet he probably still is married cause his language and the vibe of whatever podcast thing he was on seemed kinda like a church thing.... So i bet she is gonna remain married cause their christian beliefs
And i do realize I'm possibly wrong, projecting my experiences, or guessing with only a shred of context but generally those who refer to a couple as becoming one flesh are of that background so i do apologize for judging them
@@fishInaPondBusyBusyLotsToDo I got the same vibe.
Unfortunately, there's a whole generation that actually lived like this!! I watched it in my own family, and it only made me and my sister feel the need to be completely independent, because women weren't being taken seriously, and didn't seem to have respect or any control over their own lives. It damaged us very deeply. We're both adults that struggle with intimate relationships and I spend a lot of my time healing.
We seem to have a generation of fucking ass clowns that look to "heroes" like Taint so that way of life can make a comeback. I want to leave this planet.
Wishing you well, hope you have good friends!
this is why I don't even try to explain to them things. They don't see or hear a person because I wasn't born with a penis.
Well, I think it's obvious that a pp makes the brain swell and makes us SO much smarter and better people. I can't believe you didn't know this. smh
@@yochit4224 Well I already knew that's why video game controllers are sometimes called joy sticks. Because having that body part is how you use the controller. Found that out when streaming on twitch and this kid asked me my bra size... I didn't even have a camera. So I asked him if he wanted me to use my chest for the controller and the whole thing just spiraled from there to "joysticks" never seen a troll so confused before.
It’s really crazy that your 2 year old, who is supposed to still have egocentric traits because that’s normal for children, especially early on in psychological development, is at just about the same level as this fully developed, grown man in how well they comprehend how other people think. This guy has the ability to legally drive a car, work, buy and drink alcohol, and even VOTE, but he struggles to see that his wife has a different point of view from him. That’s honestly a little worrying…
Next up, object permanence!
More than a little worrying for sure. Kind of explains a lot of the absurd politics that have been happening in the States
@@charlythompson9281 I wonder if it took him 10 years to acknowledge his wife as a person because he “couldn’t find” his wife half of the time when she would leave his sight lmao
@@TaterKakez Yep. It’s even more scary when you realize whoever he’s talking to doesn’t object or question what he’s saying at all. There’s a chance all of those men were having that realization at the same time, and maybe that men who watched that video had only considered that after watching. Now THAT is the most worrying.
He, he -, he said 'of course'. Everybody else heard that too, right? He said 'of course'?
WHAT
Yeah, it's a very common assumption in conservative-land, especially the religious parts. Most men in the studio probably nodded along.
To him, the way he thinks and his opinions must be everyone's because they're correct, you see?
Still, to the taping of this interview the man assumes his intentions, reasoning, and opinions are the de facto and there aren't people walking and breathing out there who...I dunno, see things differently?
He is still grappling with this very complex idea that there are people who see things differently and not necessarily incorrectly. Because he has a religious/conservative black and white view of the world.
Thing is... it's not like he's an extreme outlier. It's all too common.
Ah yes, the absolute non-issue of men seeing women as beneath them, which is why women were systematically prevented from voting or owning property in the western world until recently and have consistently been treated as lesser than men in cultures all across the world since the dawn of time and still are in many places.
People always like to think they're smarter and better than the previous generations or the so-called barbarians on the other side of the world, but all of these people were just as human. Given the right circumstances, they will happily give into an oppressive system if it serves them. And a personal mommy bangmaid who bears your children, does all the daily chores you don't want to do, gives you emotional and sexual gratification and cannot leave you no matter what sounds very appealing to more modern folks than people like to admit. So appealing in fact that a lot of them would gladly submit to a system that actively hurts them just for a potential chance to get one. A successful family man calling out these mindsets does a good job at dispelling the fallacies that lead to these delusional mindsets and systems to prevent them from spreading.
What's weird is that he said the quiet part out loud.
Isn't that Andrew Klavan, conservative commentator for The Daily Wire? I am not even remotely surprised to hear these things come out of his mouth.
Apparently, yes. Thank you. I was looking for this. He IS a satirist, and it does seem plain that he is at least exaggerating his bias toward disregarding his wife's thoughts and intellect.
I find its usually the other way round, after 10 years of marriage my wife was by then uncertain I was capable of reason.🤪
Omg what IS with that freakin uplifting and emotive music while he is talking about his wife like she’s a thing he purchased? I can’t….
This guy is INCREDIBLY lucky that he managed to get himself a partner at all. And I truly doubt he's as grateful as he should be.
Maybe she has no reason for real. I mean ... she had marry him, a guy who needs ten years to discover that she has a functional brain (efficiency level: AI of a customer service chat bot).
I don’t think he’s lucky, per se. He probably lives in an evangelical Christian culture which teaches women-from birth-that they must submit to men like this, that their whole purpose in life is to be the wife of a man like this. He’s the direct & intended beneficiary of a deliberate system of oppression.
Of course he isn’t.
@@nw42 Yess well said! It's basically brainwashing, like the futuristic dystopian fiction we see except it's real and it's in the present.
Probably because he's old. And alot of old people got married young to escape homes or got knocked up. It's just what people did
And he seems to be proud of himself saying this.
What’s the saddest thing is not that he had some grand revelation about his own partner for a decade it’s that he missed a whole DECADE writing off everything she said just simply NOT listening, and I mean not truly listening to his partner because of some antiquated ideology he picked up who knows where… I hope they have been able to make up for lost time now that he’s got his head out of his own butt.
Believe me,it's still there
This is so sad! That any human being looks at other human beings in that way. Not only that, but to go out on a public platform and declare it like it is a badge of honor! His wife should really investigate divorce attorneys. She needs to get away from this toxic man!
This happened all the time back in the 50's and 60's. My Dad thought my mother had less value than he did. (He was a doctor) (She ran his office for years). It is just the way we were brought up. Father knows best.
No but srsly. So your husband realized after 10years you'r as human as he's? Are you okay? Why are you married to him?
I grew up in a unusual family (it's a long story), but the point is that I'm absolutely free to talk to guys without embarrassment. And I like to talk about topics that they like. And I am not used to being interrupted, and if I am interrupted, I will repeat so that they will hear🤭I don't get tired of seeing the shock in the eyes of some guys when a girl is so free in conversation with them. Pure pleasure
Good for u, girl! I have a lot of self-esteem issues unfortunately so I don't feel free like that, but I hope to b one day :)
At least my son thinks of his fiance as his equal in every way and he's as happy as she is when she has a success. Maybe even more happy for her than she is for herself. They both cook, they both clean, they both have successful careers, they both work on home remodeling and they can both change oil or a tire.
And then he "started to realize she was right all the time" 🤣 maybe because he was the one in the relationship who was incapable of reason all along!
Reminds me of a dinner I had with 2 male friends and a female friend. We somehow got on the topic of people leaving shopping carts, etc. on the rail lines off the main road and if it should be monitored. My 2 guy friends said what difference does it make. The train is big and fast enough that it'll push anything out of it's way and carry on it's path. They were both adamant on that answer. My female friend and I looked at eachother and were like "yeah the train will be safe but the traffic stopped at the train crossing might get hit by a projectile shopping cart and pedestrians that are also waiting for the train to go by might get injured, and the cart can fragment and pose a risk to everyone, etc."... and this is why different perspectives are necessary. A perspective might be logical but there are many other paths to logic.
There's also the fact that you and the other woman actually thought of other people and their safety, while the guys were just " haha train big. It smash puny cart" smh
@@colors4vana293 that's exactly what it seemed like 😆 to be fair, we were having drinks at dinner so maybe their bravado was coming out a bit but we were also drinking and managed to come up with more scenarios and possibilities than they did. Their point was a good one. A cart won't derail a train but they didn't seem to understand that other points can also be good.
This excuse of a man said "Of course she has no capacity for reasoning" like that was the most normal thought that he could possibly have ever had, like imagine being the wife of this shit head and knowing that your husband has thought of you as less than human for the entire time you've been together.
My ex was so benighted....
I worked in the fashion industry; I had professional good taste. I sold outfits that cost in the thousands of dollars.
And I dressed my husband.
When I dressed him, he got compliments.
When he dressed himself, people were quiet. They were being kind.
Once, he told me that he knew I went to everyone he was going to see that day and PAID THEM to compliment him.
Because it was easier for him to believe that I was cheating than to believe I had a talent and skill that he didn't possess.
One of the biggest green flags about my partner is that, from the very beginning, he's shown me that whenever he's wrong and I'm right, he'll acknowledge that and actually change his mind. And he's a confident, intelligent, strong-willed person.
My partner is the first man to ever respect and listen to me like this. I've gotta tell you, it's the most refreshing feeling in the world.
It took him 10 years to realise.... Shows a lot about his intelligence
I’m reminded of a star trek episode where they land on a misandrist planet that viewed men as too prone to emotional outbursts and violence to be truly rational and thinking creatures and how incredibly effective it was at highlighting just how absurd misogyny was
It may be absurd but it’s all too common. I never married because of this.
I did marry. He turned out to be the worst of the lot.
@@fionaanderson5796 I am so sorry. Did you leave him? Or are you still stuck?
I saw this video months ago and I was appalled. He put her down on so many levels to the whole world that if I was her I'd walk away from it all...literally. I don't care how wealthy a person is I can walk away from it and I have on several occasions. The drama that is attached to this man and he doesn't even look in the mirror to see his own faults. I'm soooooooo glad I'm single.
I really want to talk to his wife and poke at her brain as to why she married him, why she stayed married, and what being married to him is like. Just privately. What she thinks about the fact the first 10 years of their marriage he thought she was incapable of thinking for herself. Man that's sad
"I deliberately and knowingly married another human being for their sole utility as a display piece I could habitually dehumanize." HAS to be one of the WEIRDEST flexes I have ever seen. . . .
What did he think her being “smart” entailed when he didn’t even think she had capacity for reason? Her being “right” probably meant her agreeing with him without him telling her what to think first. Guarantee that to him being united as “one flesh” means she has to concede to him in all things, even if she dare use her surprise capacity for reason to disagree with him. That poor woman. Presumably they have children, and I feel even worse for them, being raised by someone who doesn’t even see women as human and admittedly really only married their mom because she was “hot”. What a solid foundation to start with! Really respecting that “sanctity of marriage” these dudes claim to value so much!
Absurd is putting it lightly, oh my god
I'm actually impressed by the pure ridiculousness of what he's saying. Is this a parody I don't know about???
Like, holy shit-
You know, I appreciate this guy for one reason. He showed us, how so many man think. You can hear all over some arrogant stuff like "Oh, it is not that bad for women!" Well, this is how bad this is.
Pretty much just proves he is the one incapable of reason, if his wife was right all the time and it took him a whole ass decade to figure that out 💀
Oh the trauma this brought up the memories. He does understand women are more than a face and hot. my blood is boiling.
Hmm. Sounds just like many of the men I've dated. I wish we (women and girls) were taught to see this about men and not put up with it. Sadly, if you're raised with it, you don't learn to value yourself until way too late in life
This guy seemed genuinely surprised to find out he married a real human. He’s gonna be absolutely shocked when he finds out that real human knows how to file for divorce.😅
I remember someone jokingly saying that people like this are aliens live among us trying to figure us out and failing miserably... I wish this was the truth instead we got this narcissist
The fact she lasted 10 YEARS with him is astonishing. 🤯
He says she's beautiful, fun and SMART but then says he didn't realize she had the capacity to reason..
1 Then what the f*ck does SMART mean??
2 Apparently HE's not got the capacity to reason.
3 Never accuse a woman of being a spinster when this is what we have to select from.
4 This is exactly why I only date younger men.
@@darcyroyce My experience has been much more respect from younger men.
I would have loved to have a dad like you. Your daughters are lucky to have such a man for a father.
So he's telling us he thought his wife, the woman who agreed to marry him, had the cognitive abilities of a canned ham? what does that say about her decision to marry this guy? 😂
…that she’s not a horrible person and had good faith in her husband? God forbid!
Counterpoint: Why the fuck did he marry her when he thought she cannot consent?
@@DeathnoteBB Well I do not know his wife. He's the one suggesting she's an idiot! I doubt she'd have much "faith" if she knew his obvious low opinion of her. 😂
He didn't care if she had the cognitive abilities of a canned ham, because he already believed that females could ONLY have the cognitive abilities of a canned ham. And he never once considered their marriage as ever being HER decision, because what woman would turn down an offer of marriage and especially an offer of marriage to HIM! All he was looking for in a wife was eye candy, something to get his cock up, something to make all his guy pals envious, something he wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with, as well as something that would take care of all of HIS needs (like his mother used to do for him and his dad), along with all the cooking, cleaning, child minding, homemaking, etc, stuff that women are "supposed" to do (in his mind).
There are far too many people just like him out there..
There are men with real power who think this way and Roe v. Wade proved it. The Handmaid's tale isn't just a story. It's a possible future.
my husband said to me "why would your opinion matter?"
regarding major decisions such a real estate and health
Hope you left him. Or smothered him in his sleep
Dude I feel bad for your wife. I can't imagine how she feels hearing you say that about her
His take reminds me how so many men would say in amazement that Marilyn Monroe was actually TALENTED, and a BRILLIANT comedienne, as if it were an oddity of science.
What’s sadder is many men think this way but you don’t know because they would never say it publicly. Many men don’t see women as human beings, but as sex objects… which is why this man (and others) are so shocked we women are intelligent and have feelings
I feel bad for his wife
We can crap on this guy for laughs all we want but this is some terrifying thinking with terrifying implications.
…..he said the quiet part out loud, admitted it was wrong, then turned right back into not respecting women as autonomous people land.
Who is the person being interviewed, I need to know so I can send his wife a sympathy card
Folks, you are better off single than with a partner who doesn't respect you. That's RESPECT, not just love.
There's a saying about being careful when mocking the intelligence of your spouse's decisions.
Because one of those decisions was marrying you...
I can't imagine how this video made his wife feel.
If he's still married after this I'll be astounded
Imagine saying this and thinking it’s profound and you’re going to teach people something. That’s what I assume he was getting at. That was just sad. I feel truly sorry for his wife.
There's a TED talk by a transgender woman called "I've lived as a man and as a woman - here's what I've learned". Her name is Paula Stone Williams and she shares and validates what women experience all the time - that most men are seemingly incapable of respecting women.
The issue has been so prevalent in my own experience that when I first started watching your videos I was filled with hope that younger generations of men might find them and learn how to see with their hearts and create change. Or, ya know, at least find the "capacity to reason" that women are people, too.
Thank you for being a part of the solution, Professor.
Honestly I am thankful everyday that I am a gay transman. So I don't have to deal with this shit. Through all the things I have to go through for being trans/gay, I would do so over and over again to avoid this shit. Truly awful.
From what I can tell men get respect more easily and women get sympathy more easily.
Just watched the TED video because of your mention of it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
If my husband (of 15 years now) said such a boneheaded thing about me WHEN WE WERE DATING I would not have married him. There is no excuse for that level of stupidity in a supposed loving relationship.
But I don't think he actually SAID that to his wife, but clearly must have treated her like that in some capacity. He probably didn't listen to her, like most men.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 right. And my now husband listens to me just the same as he did when we were dating. I wasn’t going to marry anyone who was not demonstrably capable of being my partner BEFORE we got married. People speak with their actions far more often than they speak,with their words.
I can't imagine going 10 years and just utterly ignoring your partner unless it was to recognize their visual attractiveness, because that's got to be the only way he did not think she had said anything right for that long
At least he noticed it after 10 years, where i live men literally see women as objects that can't feel pain or discomfort and only exist to please them 💀 they don't even grieve when their wives die i swear, they'll never admit that women are people too.
I know this guy's wife is probably forbidden by her religion from leaving him, but this video alone should be grounds for divorce.
Also, I'm bookmarking this video in case I ever have to explain to my dad, who sounds a lot like this guy, why I switched to dating women. (Perks of being bi.)
Yeeeeesss! I go both ways so I have options.
I'm a gay transman. Thank god o.o
Oh, my Goddess! And he still makes it all about him!
It actually took him longer than 10 years to realize this unless they got married the day they met. Now I'm wondering how TF loving he was in the dating period (and marriage but they're locked in at that point) to someone he basically though was an idiot.