Women and ACCEPTABLE LOSS: the other side of female hypergamy
Vložit
- čas přidán 28. 06. 2024
- If it's true that women mate and date for gain (i.e., they get out more than they put in), then it must be true that men mate and date for acceptable loss (i.e., they put in more than they get out). It would not be possible for women to date for gain if they put in more than they got out, and such a relationship would likely prove unsustainable. However, it's important for men to understand that there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable loss. I discuss more on this episode.
Social Media
Facebook: profile.php?id=1...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consulta...
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-...
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
If it's true that women mate and date for gain (i.e., they get out more than they put in), then it must be true that men mate and date for acceptable loss (i.e., they put in more than they get out). It would not be possible for women to date for gain if they put in more than they got out, and such a relationship would likely prove unsustainable. However, it's important for men to understand that there is a difference between acceptable and unacceptable loss. I discuss more on this episode.
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: czcams.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/video.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
czcams.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
dude u never miss i swear.
wat's the strategy though?loophole
It has to be a quiet acceptance…the second you bring up that she consumes more than she gives, she will lose sexual attraction for you
Women date for gain sure, but in a modern era where life isnt hard, a lot of women are also dating for genetic gain. If youre 6'5 and look like Brad Pitt youre better off that a bald 50 yo billionaire
Both men AND women date to gain. It is NOT true that when women gain men lose. Successful relationships are win/win.
Men and women have goals that they attach value to. In a successful relationship, BOTH participants come out ahead because the value of the goals each participant achieves exceeds their respective costs.
Excluding the goals of men from the profit/loss equation, and then comparing the goals to the size of the loss strikes me as an odd, and potentially counter-productive, framing. Why would I want to enter into a relationship in which I expect to lose?
Only that is not true that women date and mate for gain, just see the outcomes of being married and having children for women and men. Your rhetoric is reductionist and inconsistent with the literature as a whole.
At this point in my life, my acceptable loss is zero. I am done squandering my resources on women who eventually get bored and leave. Yes, all men pay. I'm not paying anymore.
They have all been crying for equality, how about they start providing something of equal value in the relationship? Doubt that will ever happen though.
What are you going to spend your money on?
@@limbuel himself dude. you run out of ideas on what you can spend on yourself?
@JaySmith-pv2mw I’m with you dude. Live your best life 🤘
@@limbuelsounds like giving money to women is a mandatory option)
When I was younger and had nothing to lose, dating and relationships were fine to experiment with. Now I have everything to lose. It's way too risky.
Some women will even ask their man to go into debt for them. So one can lose, even while having nothing to lose. Thread carefully, guys.
Prenup and vasectomy...
Are you saying you have money and all that??
@@georgeelder8415 as if women couldn't come up with their own attorney and prenup
@@georgeelder8415 Why would you get married if you are not going to have kids?
'Men mate and date for acceptable loss' 😂 It's 100% true, it just sounds scary because no else ever says it like it is. So happy I found this guy. He brilliantly articulates the things we've all observed for years in a way no one else does.
Maybe no one else on CZcams (although even that is debatable), but these principles have been spelled out in evolutionary psychology books for decades. Yes, I understand that most people don't read books, especially substantive books, so there is value in having the same findings of science articulated more accessibly. In any case, it's obvious where things are heading: technology will eventually deliver the same benefits provided by the highest-quality women, but at far lower cost, perhaps in the form of robot companions. Making them as beautiful as the most beautiful real women is the easy part (men have done that with art for thousands of years); the difficulty is building the artificial intelligence to get them over Uncanny Valley. But when that happens, every man will experience the life of sexual abundance that until now has been enjoyed only by the select few such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Genghis Khan. The average man's experience might be even better, since it will come with no more downsides or danger than your smartphone or computer imposes on you. Of course the robot paradise future requires several conditions that may not hold, such as the continuing survival of civlization in the face of accelerating man-made global heating, and the robots themselves choosing to play nice with people rather than rising up and killing us quickly.
@@danielmocsny5066 but what about reproduction? Most men put up with women because they want to breed
@@user-fy1vn1vh1bIf that would be correct, no man would ever want to put a condom on.
Breeding is overrated.
@@user-fy1vn1vh1b Reproduction is in marked decline. The traditional role of women has changed but that of men has not.
Twilight Zone, 1959, episode. Videomotion platform on you tube. Fake Love. Man on prison planet, lives with robot girlfriend. @@danielmocsny5066
Can confirm. Ex made roughly equal income. After I finally booted her out, my "household" income dropped about half but magically with all the same expenses and same house, everything , my disposable monthly income went from 0 to near 1000
Well you got rid of the bottomless money pit.
@@maxdudomitewomen tend to waste more, he could double his salary without the added loss by investing and saving properly for two to four years while as staying with her in a stable relationship he risks losing half of what he achieved on his own.
Add me to the can confirm list, and that was just with getting rid of the live in girlfriend. Was absolutely blow away how much my utility bills, mainly electricity and water, also, now that I'm doing my own grocery shopping with other odds and ends, grocery and other sundry items is about 37% of what it was previously. It's unbelievable how expensive living with a woman is, and how much money they spend on crap for themselves.
I just bought a luxury watch and I'm on track to retire in 5 years at 62. I haven't been in a relationship in four years. Coincidence? I think not.
Yes, many are spendthrifts...
“A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.”
Then get out of your current circle, change up the board.
It’s not on the list!?!
Winner: NONE
"How 'bout a nice game of chess?"
Just another example of what nuclear conflict entails. There are many things in this world you should keep away from. If still think you are a good enough hacker to play, they you should know that the nature and the law is against you. Winning chance is slim, losing is near certainty. Hence, it is probably better to invest time and effort in something that hast more success probability.
Half of everything I've worked for my entire life is an UNACCEPTABLE loss.
You're insecure. Be a real man and give her half
@@TheAustrianPainter87 that's a hard no.
@@TheAustrianPainter87 If you were a REAL man you'd give her Both halves!
Whatt !! Thats a joke surely ?@@TheAustrianPainter87
Fortunately, that’s not how anything works.
Not in the vast majority of divorce cases-which is what I assume you’re talking about here.
So many men are realizing how rigged the game is, and just walking away from it all together. But when I talk to women, they don't seem to even under the game they're playing.
Women would be offended if you tell them the truth.
Women by nature cannot objectively analyze their actions or themselves. So, any truth about them is an attack.
We can't go on like this
Oh they know, they just won't spill the beans.
Women know. I have noticed a lot of men are afraid to be seen socializing with me, but they will talk to me when no one is looking. What women do is try to erase you. It's only a matter of time before they can't control it anymore.
Freshly post-divorce at 54, I had $2K in savings, $26K in my 401K, A new mortgage of $218K and a beater car and truck. By not getting into LTR's over the next 12 years, I have a paid-off home, vehicles and tons in savings and mega tons in retirement. I'll not put my recovery at risk for any woman, any how, any way. At my age, it's now about managing my long-term survival against the foes in Government.
At 54 thats all you have? Scary.......
@@ShadyD365 Only way OP had so little after divorce 12 years ago is there must have been a substantial number of debts that had to be settled per court order. If 401k was only retirement account between spouse, ex-wife would still only get halve, so he had $52K prior to settlement. That's pathetic for a 54 YO male. Glad to see OP was able to turn his situation around in such a short time.
@@misutasutanto6312 whats more important is to have the ability to make the cash back.
@@misutasutanto6312 Reading is hard. Apparently.
Man.. I told some women this in a general discussion about relationships. They were of course complaining saying men wanna play games, but I said… men have been experiencing tremendous financial loss for years trying to be in committed relationships with a woman. Men want a relationship, they just don’t wanna risk their well being to have one. which women have shown with their track record is usually the case. Imagine trying to financially recover when you supposed to be retiring. I’ll pass on that risk.
It feels more and more that the "juice is not worth the squeeze" and the loss is not worth what you may get in return
"Women will consume more value than they provide." Write that down fellas. Preach it to your sons. No truer words have EVER been spoken.
Most Women would probably prefer to get paid to deal with males/men🤷🏾♀️
GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES/SIDECHICK/“Women friends”/FRIENDS w/benefits
That’s just the best case scenario.. more often you’ll lose your sanity of mind
@@purplesprigsWhich the inverse of that is Men provide more Value than they consume.
@@MF_DOOMer both men and women provide value in a relationship 🤦🏾♀️
Men just don’t want to be Providers anymore when women can legally take them to the cleaners. Also, men have realized that the Provider position isn’t a flex when Lovers get the full course meal with minimal lose.💯
"men have realized that the Provider position isn’t a flex when Lovers get the full course meal with minimal lose." You nailed it so hard. The provider position isnt a flex anymore. It *used* to be, but not at all anymore. If I meet a provider dude, I just feel sorry for him and think in my head about how she's probably on the side with the Lover giving him the full course meal and then letting him leave right after lol
The loss of being a provider is unacceptable, the loss of being a lover (aka, pump-and dumper) is minimal.
@@Thleta Things were always this way. Men are just coming to terms with the fact due to social media and Lovers now having the leverage to anonymously expose the game.
bingo, Lovers are the only ones who get the woman's horniest best, everything else is a chess move on her behalf
Yep, when a woman has genuine burning sexual desire for you, it's an all inclusive beach resort in paradise with free drinks and a buffet. Anything short of that and you're basically in 3rd class on the titanic trying to make it to the new world - you know how that story ends.
Nope, nope, NOPE.
My soul is worth a lot more than this.
I don’t need a perpetually unhappy leech in my life. Been there, have the t-shirt, sadly.
Sometimes you need a leech to suck the poison out.😂
@@monkeyboyalcoholicthat ain’t the poison my guy, that’s the cure. Retain your masculine energy
@@Insight-musiclol nailed it. I see so many men who get soft and pudgy after marriage. They lose their masculine edge. They essentially get emasculated. They spend all their time with their insecure wives laying around watching tv shows and going out to eat and other female activities and lose their purpose. Then the women loses attraction because of the depolarization of masculine/feminine energy which is required. It’s so easy to let happen in our soft ass world!
Yessir ✅✅✅
Woman live a fairy tale and hide their trespasses...men mostly live a fairytale and are nieve
We live in times where every other young male has seen his father or uncle or best friend ripped in pieces in court due to divorce or sexual harassment claims.
I understand the concept of "acceptable loss" but nowadays it means consequences so harsh that men choose to self-delete en mass. And that seems a bit much to ask, don't you think?
I hate to agree with this but I have to. I have seen the same thing and that is why I am very cautious with women. I wish this was not the case. I am absolutely for love and marriage. But the cost is very high and is success rate is very low. According to stats, 75% of all marriages end in divorce and you know she is going to take you to the cleaners.
Tbh most of those guys are lackluster men who deserve to be divorced.
@@ReubMann It’s always the men’s fault huh?
@@ReubMann I agree.
Tom Brady is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Jeff Bezos is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Kevin Costner is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Will Smith is lackluster. He deserved to be cheated on
Scottie Pippen is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Emmitt Smith is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Dr Dre is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Brad Pitt is lackluster. He deserved to be left
Channing Tatum is lackluster. He deserved to be left
100% of men deserve to be left because 100% of men fail to be perfect men.
Women are awesome and are perfect. lol
Reub is a beta male that gets cheated on and likes it.
Either SURVIVE or SELF-DELETE🙎🏾♀️…seems simple enough 🚶🏾♀️
Man: _Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?_
Woman: _Sure._
Man: _How about for ten dollars?_
Woman: _What do you think I am?_
Man: _We’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over the price._
That's funny. 😂👍
You know what would be hilarious - to phrase it in a way that might plausibly be true from the outset. Specifically - "would you sleep with me for $115,000?" She might actually believe you mean it, and say yes. Then say "ok, how about $10" - it would really fry her brain.
Cold
Excellent comment and great analogy.
Anyone sane would have sex for a million dollars.
I remember as a young man attempting to demonstrate value while pursuing a young lady and getting "maybe" "lets give it time" energy. Only to watch an apparently superior genetic guy stroll in and she is actively throwing herself at him right in my face. Watta kick in the nuts.
That taught me any investment is an unacceptable loss, UNLESS she is independently pursuing me in some way. If she is initiating investment there is a much greater chance on both parties getting a return. U cant negotiate attraction.
I just love how women get upset when you call them out for their Hypergamous nature, but they themselves are saying out loud that "I only date when the relationship is a net positive" as if these are actually different ideas. lol
This is because you see them as logically equal statements, but women see them as emotionally unequal statements, so to say.
Hypergamy makes them sound capricious, conceited, and possibly greedy. What you quoted later feels more neutral, as if she's just looking out for herself. Guess which makes them feel like they're a worse person?
@@Promet17 Its perspective even though its the same action/process occurring.
@@crackshack2 yes, men and women often see the same things differently, take it or leave it
i would't say these are the same ideas. but it's similar enough to disguise hypergamy
But the ideas could be different ideas, depending on how one interprets the deliberately vague expression "net positive." Net positive for whom? If the women in question mean a net positive for them, at the expense of men, then the two ideas are similar or perhaps the same. But if they mean a net positive for both partners, then they imply that male-female relationships are not zero-sum, i.e. that both partners can experience a net benefit. Note that for any transaction to occur without coercion, deception, or the willingness of one party to sacrifice for the other, both parties to the transaction must believe they realize a net gain from it. To the degree that this actually happens, male-female partnerings are net positives for both partners.
To the degree that women are hypergamous, the less likely the resulting partnerings are to be net positives. Since most women, like most people, overestimate their value to others, they overestimate their capacity to form relationships that are net positives. And in particular, they don't recognize or want to admit that the value they provide to a potential partner decreases as his value increases. The average woman can provide excellent value to a below-average man, but probably only net negative value (especially when we consider opportunity cost) to an elite man like Leonardo DiCaprio. Of course most women, like most people, haven't read much economics, so they might not even have a conscious awareness of opportunity cost - the cost they impose on a man by occupying his time that he could be spending with another woman.
I never thought of it that way before. Not only do we have an instinct to protect and provide for a gender that doesn't give two sh*ts about us, but we got this as well.
In short, God hates us. I'm just barely being facetious, there.
God gave you strength ( men )and intelligence to rule on Earth and a woman as partner, helper not just domestically but in all man 's wants to do . God never hate no one in fact He loves us can we see beautiful nature trees, plants, flowers , oceans, farms, fruits , animals, the sky/ clouds and everything that all of us is enjoying . You are given a special task but humans are insisting to change it .
@@zensvlognotapro Strange that women aren't partners so much these days.
@@whenpigsfly8178 that's true also but there are men who are not partner too. That's so sad .
Some ppl never get their match.
@@maxjohnson1758 a woman when bearing children our life is in danger but some women never say God hates us.
My reality is providing value and effort for which she gains. The insult is she becomes ungrateful or unappreciative of my effort to provide a better life for both of us.
Never think in terms of gratitude. It's something that massively tripped me up and got me mad until I realised women don't think like us. They have very short memories! This guy actually does a video on it! Worth checking out 👍
So women don't have gratitude. I agree. But since they don't men just have to suck it up and soldier on? Women don't have honor, humility, a moral compass, truthfulness, or loyalty either. I guess we have to keep soldiering through that too? That's like saying a car dealer doesn't have honesty so I just have to accept that and buy a car from him anyway? No, I don't. I can walk away as can any and every man. When a deal is totally one-sided, as marriage is, you get up and walk away. Period. As many men are. As far as women's memories are concerned, they are not short. They are convenient. I guarantee you that if you live with a woman for a while she will remember every time you left the toilet seat up and every time you dropped a dirty sock FOR DECADES! You sir, sound like a young man ripe for the plucking. I see many grifters in your future.@@TheForgotten__1
Then, she decides she's bored, or falls out of love with you, then you're immediately disposable. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt with my being divorce raped.
Acts of Service to capture a woman’s desire never works. If you’re in this type of relationship then you deserve all the pain and negativity you are allowing into your life. It’s all men’s duty to live in a positive frame they build for themselves. A woman either compliments that frame or the relationship is quickly put to a end.
I see. This is why dating is important. A man has to determine if the woman fits within the criteria of acceptable loss, and women need to determine if she gains through this marriage. Marriage has gone down because of two reasons. Women want to obtain more gain. Men find the loss unacceptable or cannot determine which women are worth the risk.
In my view, biological organisms feel inside them their era comes to an end. There is no need for more generations. We have reached or are close to the top levels in our evolution.
I can save you the time, money, and energy. They don't fit.
Modern women are not marriage material & have been destroying families out of selfish greed for decades. Millennial & zoomer boys grew up during a time when half of all marriages end in divorce with 3/4ths being initiated by their mothers. Materialistic, hypergamous wives will leave their husbands the moment the kids go off to college or when some richer or more handsome man enters the picture. "Acceptable loss" rhetoric may work on boomers & gen-xers, but it won't work on contemporary young adults.
The oneitis mindset is a dangerous one. Women are not worth it
And some women are remarkably good at misrepresenting themselves. It makes it very hard for what can be years to see her true nature and discern the true risk.
I’m sure some men are the same.
Eye opening on a level I was not prepared for
Yep. That's why I find peace in solitude. I can sacrifice my health, my time and my energy for work, but I can't sacrifice my PEACE OF MIND!
Something that rarely gets highlighted when discussing these issues is the fact that many men who have been financially and psychologically devastated by narcissistic, destructive females are UNABLE to recover… The vast majority of homeless individuals are men (approximately 70 percent) for many reasons. For example, if a man develops one or more serious, chronic health conditions in their fifties (which is when those things tend to occur) they may not be capable of working 24/7 to rebuild their lives… Let that sink in for a moment. NOBODY cares about men - period. No one will come to your rescue. People who are supposedly in your corner such as “friends” and even family members often suddenly disappear… Is the lure of physical intimacy or fleeting attention from a master manipulator worth risking your very life?
Why should you develop chronic health conditions in your 50s? If you don't look after yourself, smoke, drink and eat junk food all day then it's YOUR fault.
@@tancreddehauteville764chronic stress can lead to health conditions prematurely. Living with a manipulative and narcissistic woman could be a highly stressful situation. Especially when she discards you and takes half of everything or more.
Well said Dragon
That's a part of the discussion in the video. For men to recognize, understand and accept the relationship situation they are walking into with a woman. Many of those men would have benefitted from understanding the 'acceptable loss' situation (marriage) they were walking into. Acceptable loss theory would have helped with gauging how much the man is willing to lose for the sake of the relationship. One has to draw a line and when that line is crossed he must begin preparing to (potentially) part ways 'cut the loses'.
Sort of applying the 'cockroach' theory. Once he has finally noticed an infidelity of the woman, there were very likely other times he didn't notice.
Yes this happened to me. I’m being evicted currently. What was left of my family was stolen by lawyers and crooked individuals. Whey my mother dies and the inheritance I have by law coming to me does I plan on going to court. At this point sleeping with a woman and listening to her say she loves me and blah blah feels insulting. Because it’s a lie but I am expected to pretend otherwise. Over and over like Groundhog Day. Once in my forties I became unwilling to do so snd no longer empathetic when the tears start. Fought cancer by myself so I know now who loves me.
There are no solutions in life just trade offs .
I share your perspective.
Quoting Thomas Sowell?
Everything has a trade off, that’s life.
becasue life is not a single problem, it is a trial of problems, and on the way to solution of your next problem you die ...
I disagree. If there were no solutions in life, we wouldn't have anything that works, any inventions, any innovations, anything. I believe that, like yin and yang, bad can't exist without good, and problems can't exist without solutions. Usually, the problem is _finding_ the solution to a problem more than it is the given problem you need a solution for. Unless you're an engineer, mathematician, investigator, or something like that, most people just don't look long enough and hard enough for solutions, therefore, naturally, we go without those solutions.
In this case when looks beauty fertility and youth fade they should be treated as such invisible. Like a superhero who has lost their powers.
Why so hateful? Try to let it go. When Superman lost his powers, he got his ass kicked. Have some compassion.
@@monkeyboyalcoholic if you think this is about compassion youve lost already. How is his message anymore hateful than a woman's default state of "What can this man give/offer me, and when he can't give it to me, i'll find someone else who can, even if i have to cheat to get it"?
By this logic, men who can't protect, provide, or lead should also be treated as invisible. Using a superhero metaphor shows lack of maturity and emotional intelligence since superheroes don't exist. Hypergamy is a two way street through different lenses. Men want the most fertile, most beautiful woman who can give him healthy children and have her beauty raise his status in society. Women want men who can raise her status in society through his resources, leadership qualities, and protection. That's the unspoken contract. Though I will say that hypergamous women are securing themselves against poverty for her and the children, whereas men don't need a beautiful wife to survive.
@@munequa81 who say "can't protect"? just you? no one said 'can't' provide, were saying we're choosing not to.
@@Thleta my comment has nothing to do with people like you, who want to be single. I wish you well.
Men are purchasing a depreciating commodity, women are investing in an appreciating asset.
Really? In the modern world how ridiculous men and women behave I agree to some degree. But not when you have a good marriage this garbage
Something you ride vs something that shelters you
@@ronj9448 they do not shelter us anymore....use is a better word.
ufffff
I think its my realization of the very conclusion of this video that has been a large part of my not having a serious relationship is many, many years. I love myself. Why would I enter a relationship where I am going to lose. If I was rich and money didn't matter, then it would be no big deal. But that's not my situation nor the situation of most other blokes. Through living frugally and investing wisely in money and in health, my reality is getting better and better (without the "help" of any woman or any type of relationship). Why would I want to hurt my situation by collecting baggage (a relationship with "acceptable loss"). If I am going to lose in a relationship, please explain to me how it is to my benefit to even enter that relationship. I refuse to enter a relationship with the mentality that I am going to lose. We as men have value. We don't have to accept loss anymore, if we don't want to. We always have choice!
I think his point is that it only make sense if what you get out of it is worth it to you. You are clearly seeing situations where it is not worth it. There are situations where it is worth it. The worthwhile situations seem to be increasingly rare, but they do exist. I am in a worthwhile situation now, but if I were to find myself single again, I probably wouldn't even try for another, as the odds of success are so poor.
@@jeffcauhape6880 OK so we are the same then. I had a relationship years ago where at the time I thought it was worth it. I'm not sorry I had the relationship. She was a good woman and I hope she's happy now. When you say "worth it", what exactly do you mean? How are you benefitting?
Only a desperate $imp would enter into a relationship.
@@jeffcauhape6880 Is finding a woman just a throw of the dice? Did you not go through a selection process based on what YOU value in a woman? All of these discussions seem to suggest that women share the same mind. Clearly if you're in a good situation compared to others, this isn't the case. It takes patience and time, sure, but if you're selective about who you're with, you can always find a suitable partner. It just comes down to having values to base your selection on. I believe most people lack these values.
@@ALForb So you're sayng that, except for "acceptable loss" of money AFTER you get into relationship, you must lose time and energy just for the small chance of meeting somebody you will eventually waste your resources on.
"Prepare for trouble and make it double", as some wise team used to say.
As the years go by I see more and more unsatisfied men. Many are getting demotivated because you have to hypogamate a lot to have a stable relationship and it's not worth it.
I really hope things change because we can't go on like this.
To deal with a modern western woman men have to be bodyguards, sponsors, handymen, mentors, good sexual partners, psychologist, and fbi interrogators to compete
You forgot mind reader, cook, and babysitter.
You basically have to be the Martian Man Hunter cause they demand that you be Out of this World.
Lol what’s wrong with wanting a good sexual partner? if you’re selfish you can just say that.
Women have done unpaid labor for centuries and more of what you mentioned.
@@clauaome25 Unpaid labor huh, how about all the blood men spilled keeping your sorry asses alive. As if unpaid labor is even exclusive to women.
"Those who have less call for equality because it would improve their situation." A BRILLIANT INSIGHT!
But if women gets men who ticks all their requirements, they still won't be happy. In short its not men's job to make miserable women happy.
They have an extra hole to put more stuff into...it is unquenchable this beast ...in short shorts
...contentment for women is fleeting...a week later, a month later, 3 months later...it's gone.
What you said is scarier than all the "women suck up your financial resources" comments.
Because there is unfortunately truth in your statement.
Everything can be perfect which means that it is BORING.
It is difficult to make them happy, that's for sure.
Better be the guy that gives them the butterflies, than the guy providing for them.
💯
I've read about psychological research that purports to show that people seem to have a kind of happiness "setpoint." I.e., people are generally about as happy or unhappy as they're going to be. If they experience success or setbacks in life, their happiness may go up or down temporarily, but tends to return to their setpoint level after a few months. So if you're a basically happy person, you'll still be happy if you become a quadriplegic, once you absorb the shock and adapt to it. And if you're a basically unhappy person, you'll still be unhappy if you win the Mega Millions jackpot, after you finish celebrating.
If this is true, then it means you can't really "make" a woman happy. She's about as happy as she's born to be. You can bump her happiness level up or down temporarily, but if she's one of those people born to be miserable you're on a fool's errand if you take on the mission of making her durably happy. And given that a key finding from behavioral genetics is that every human trait is at least partly controlled by genetics, to some degree a person's happiness trajectory was determined at their moment of conception. Which means if you want a happy partner, you might want to get a DNA sample from them and test it to determine their polygenic score for happiness (assuming that sufficiently many GWAS have been performed to produce a reliable test).
This only works in a modern society where the role of family has been usurped by the state and women are having less than 1.9 children. In society where women are having 2.1 children or more. Women's hypergamy is to ensure that her labor at home and with children will not diminish the lifestyle of herself, her children, or burden her family. The man's role in the union is to protect and provide. Her role in the union is to birth, raise, and develop the next generation. Many women throughout history also worked for economic gain as well, but had to choose roles that didn't conflict with her first job of taking care of the children. Women aren't made to love men, they are made to love children.
And they don’t. If they did they would ensure the kids had a father in the house as the children’s outcome is so much better! Women are sociopathic narcissists
Your last sentence is so spot on!!
The right description will be -they are made to raise their offspring,just REMINDING u that --they don’t love all children,only their children…that too not for the offspring for who they r but for the offspring to be her son or daughter
I have 7 children. There is a limit to what you say. Both father and mother love their children. And,hopefully each other. That is ideal❤
It was rare for women not to work in the past, the idea that "women were never a part of the workforce" is a modern myth.
Id love to see a video on the different types of loneliness, there are so many kinds and its a big topic worth discussing.
Great idea! Because a lot of us seem to go that way.
What do you mean by different types of lonelines?
@@BreezeeGreenz Well for example someone might have a lot of friends but no partner, romantic loneliness. Vise versa they may be fulfilled romantically but lack casual friendships in the work place or in their free time. Some people can have both of those but still may miss the companionship of their family or even a pet.
I've even seen religous loneliness where a persons particular denomination isn't popular in an area so they lack a community of belief and are unwilling to compromise those beliefs just to fit in. I'm sure there are more, but those come to mind.
Being alone for a while is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people anymore.---Tom Hardy
@@MrSarcasticGaming very well put. Yes there are different types of lonelines as you said. There's also sibling lonelines where you might have friends and even a romantic partner but you're an only child and don't have siblings. Many different types for sure.
I would be a millionaire if I weren’t married, raising 5 kids on one income. It was an acceptable opportunity cost as I have a great family and wife who supports me years later.
That sounds great jason.
Something I'm figuring out as I get older is that chasing fulfilment is far more important than chasing money. Fulfilment, of course, comes from being of service and being appreciated for that service...which is why so many people in modern society are so mentally and spiritually broken, because the focus today is on what I can get instead of what I can do.
Some things money cannot buy, like good fortune. Those are often the best things.
Thats awesome, you are the exception to the rule - consider yourself lucky.
I respect the way you are shaping your observations toward an approach to relationships. I struggle with how to implement these concepts, and remain honest with women. I believe that most perspective women could not stomach the honesty of these ideas.
im with you mate, a chick watching this video wouldnt take this truth very well at all
honesty | openness with xx.s seem counter-effective, esp. with regard to their incoherent emotionalism. no win involved, in terms of above. but xx.s need to be 'handled' | or steered, benevolently preferably, and to maintain a conciousness clean implies a walk on knives' blades all too often.
Women are almost all inherently dishonest in all important matters with men, therefore it's flat-out stupid for men to be honest with them.
Well knowing and then understanding isna beginning at least, internalizing and applying that knowledge are the next steps in the journey.
Who made women delusional? Those Disney movies definitely had a hand in it. A lot of women expect everything to be a fairytale when that’s not how life works. Parents have to teach their daughters how to navigate the real world with men.
As a man gets older the entire "acceptable loss" concept starts falling pretty flat. He's got to be younger and/or dick thinking rather than thinking with his head, to accept that loss. Or he has so much the loss is much more easily acceptable because it doesn't actually impact him enough for him to feel it. The surest way to 'win the war' is to never have one in the first place.
@williammccanless
Wrong. Then you get peace of mind if you refuse to engage in a losing battle, or one where the prize is not worth fighting for.
You don't get nothing. You avoid a potentially devastating loss.
Dating, mating and marriage in the West and most of the modern world is so bad, many or most modern women so brainwashed, that the only winning move is not to play.
It is not cowardice refusing to engage in a battle that you are certain to lose, but wisdom.
I can relate ... 😊 👍 -70SomethingGuy
🎯, there is no "acceptable" loss. It's a bad deal all the way around once you consider all the tangibles and the factors at hand.
When you're older its often cheaper to keep her.
@@williammccanless the key idea here is "as you get older". If your libido is low enough, there is no need to trouble yourself with dating and everything to gain by not engaging in it.
Sadly, the youngest of us and those who still have a strong libido have to engage in this "war" because due to our libido, we still have something to gain by doing it.
The cost is your future gentleman the cost is your house your savings your sanity your freedom your pension child support and even jail women cannot be trusted
Men, do not feel bad about wanting to minimize your loss. You provide and protect, including retirement. She blends into your life, follows your lead. In spite of all of this, you're not required to be looking for Givenchy and accept Goodwill. Know your value and be strong, Kings.
It's a symbiotic relationship complicated by the organisms ability to detach at will and on a whim.
An ability we sought to hamper by society, tradition, and/or religion, but no more.
Symbiotic or parasitic?
@@georgedang449came her to say that
“I’m a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man!”
Cultural Marxism at work throughout the West since the 1930s. Anyone interested in the history of this should look up the Frankfurt School.
Isn’t it the man who attaches himself to the women and sucks her dry through unpaid labor while expecting her to birth and take care of his children?
Parasitic you mean
I've adopted a zero-loss mindset of peace and equity amongst myself.
Tom Leykis- Leykis 101- covered all this 25 years ago. Therefore, the information presented here is both well-settled and established by modern research. Good on you, Dr. T!
The original godfather of MGTOW and PUA. The first man to tell us to stop undervaluing ourselves and stop overvaluing women. He saw through the Matrix and was WAAAAAYYY ahead of his time.
@@JohnSmith-ks5xwthe true Godfather. I wonder if there is someone he learned from.
@@mann8098 He definitely learned some stuff from someone. I doubt he got his whole philosophy from one source. I would imagine he took what he learned from other people and combined that with what he learned from his own experience he came up with his own philosophy and rules.
@JohnSmith-ks5xw Yeah, I think he married 4 times
This might be your best lecture. A lot of truth here. After a 30 year marriage ending in divorce, I'm the general who wants zero causalities. At this point, I'm not sure any losses are OK... so I'm happily single. I would love to hear your opinion on that, and what losses you personally are willing to accept.
30 years wow!
25 year marriage for me. Women are NOT worth the losses, not even possible loss! I have my kids. I'm trying to rebuild my finances and assets. I survived real war. I barely survived divorce. I have counselled my boys that in this day and age, marriage is a death sentence. Even with iron clad prenups, men are losing big time, and always because some woman got "bored," "felt unloved," "lost the butterflies and tingley," etc. Unacceptable losses INDEED!
@@lukenielsen8397can you elaborate a bit on why an iron clad prenup is not enough ?
@@williamtuite1120 just a matter of time before some court throws it out, alters it, etc. It's already started in some states.
@@lukenielsen8397I think they are manipulated by industry and the right response for your boys is to manipulate them (future long term mates) towards family values.
We can’t “just” have a family. It’s impossible. We need family propaganda to battle 304 propaganda.
If she values big warm family when she’s old.. she must see it as a goal and work daily towards it. And you must mend her mind to that goal or lose her to the goals of state and corp propaganda.
I see no other way. Where too programmable basically speaking. Corps know this and work on it both in info out there (mostly covert actors playing roles masquerading as free opinions) and legislation aiming to tear down America for global governance desires and population lowering.
Plus pushing women to be single makes more sales in short n medium run so even stock market supports it.
New people imported from 3rd world nations to keep our numbers high enough.
Again they come from traditional families.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@LenParliament5 You need time to yourself to find out who you are. Saying I can't live without her puts you in a weak position in the relationship. I would lay money on the fact that she can live without you, women can replace a guy in a heartbeat and the man is left picking up the pieces of his life. Been there done that.
SPAM! Fake comment!
49, widowed 6 years, retired early to be a full time dad to 3 beautiful kids.
Fit, wealthy, healthy and a good human with tonnes of love to give.
I came very close to risking it all with what turned out to be a very manipulative woman.
Dodged a bullet, was blinded by emotion.
I misunderstood the risk levels with her and nearly took very unacceptable losses that would have severely impacted the future of myself and my children.
After a long dating break, I’ve now got a much different view of my needs and risk level in women. They really do need to be an all-round 9 or 10 for me to consider risking anything. 10 in integrity, emotions, sexuality, communication and maturity. I’d settle for 9 in physical attractiveness and her own wealth.
I will not be financially supporting a partner again unless she is of equal wealth and financial capacity too.
I’m a true equalist.
As a woman, I personally have seen "unequal" marriages that made me just want to scream to the man: "what on earth do you see in her?! Don't you realize she's a gold digger and just using you?!" At the same time I've seen good, loyal, hardworking, caring and loving women and their husbands treating them like trash. Women woke up some time ago. It's time for men to wake the F up! Trust me, guys there are good women out there, just think with your top head and you'll be fine. We need mutual respect.
Neat
In my experience I’ve found that men love gold diggers. Don’t worry about them. They’re grown men and they know what they are doing 😌❤
If you look at history and the present time women have suffered by the ego of man. In todays world women can make their own money and have children without a man being present. I do not think this is best for humanity because I feel children need both male and female influence. What I do see is women and men are stressed financially. Men do not want to lose or spend what they have earned but still want love, sex, companionship, adoration, and a legacy. That comes at a price.
I think the problem is that bad women and bad men have a dating advantage over good men and women. Good people focus on the future and self improvement. Bad people are externally focused and change their presentation based on what they want. So when the good person looks up from their tasks they realize that they want relationships. Who is plotting to get the resources of the work of the good people?The bad people.
@@staciecook5821 I agree
I think this is important to keep in mind. At some point, though, you want to build something beyond a transactional relationship. It's not just about how much you give, but what you give and to whom. A good woman should feel worth it to give to, and said woman should not be greedy and measure the relationship on how much she can extract. A parent's unconditional love towards their children produces a very asymmetric relationship, but it's one of the most meaningful relationships a person can have.
A good woman multiplies your wealth, doesn't consume it
@@cosmictreason2242 This was true 150 years ago. Not today.
I recently stumbled onto your videos, I have absolutely have gained a lot of insight from them. I very recently had to walk away from my fiancee, because of her lack of investment and respect towards me. It is very hard to walk away from someone that I still love, but I could only take so much. I have been looking for answers and your videos are helping me tremedously. Thanks for your great work!
Know how you feel. I've been trying to fix, then leave my pregnant fiance for a few months now. Just when it starts to look that things are going okay, she is unhappy about something else and this prompts me to cut my losses. Hope you're doing okay, mate.
Brilliant as always Doc!
THIS MAN WILL SAVE THOUSANDS OF LIVES!
This Doc has something so rare and valuable. God bless this man and his loved ones.
and he will prevent millions of children from being born ;). Dr who is helping bring civilisation collapse to this world.
If marriage is akin to business agreement, then why get into it when you are taking a loss without any benefit?
...and considering the benefits can be bought or attained at any convenient, neighborhood Walmart, etc...the long term cost of marriage(wedding), kids, and a house doesn't nearly weigh the cost of the benefits men want. It's absolutely a shitty deal.
Loss within the marriage and huge loss after
Hummm
And government supplying incentive to break said contract!
It is a shitty deal, ubless you were drunk on horny hormones or your parents forced you into it, you wouldn't sign such a lopsidsd deal. You would be called a sucker in any other context
Make sure you have so much, losing will never hurt you.
I've had some good times and bad times. It's been a privilege to be alive and make this go of it. I'll hold out as long as I can.
You sound like you're on a battlefield bleeding out with one mag left.
@@CelestialTrieye Sometimes life is a game and sometimes it's a battle. No matter which people pick both have losers and casualties that gave it their best. I presume they did anyway. I did.
Keep doing what you do Doc. I consider myself lucky having found this channel because you always drop gems in every video.
I feel the traditional set up whereby women pretty much give up their body and a significant part of their lives to raise children off sets the "loss" to the man. That along with submission and support. That being said modern dating is honestly such a raw deal for men.
"It's for every man to determine for himself, where the line between the two lies."
After my divorce, I decided that no loss was acceptable and did not re-enter the dating market. Thanks for continuing to affirm my decision!
No, you are the overly cautious general who ultimately loses the war.
Who's going to get all your stuff when you die? You want the government to have it?
@@hyperteleXii The peace in my life tells me I've won the war. No worries bro.
It should not be a zero-sum game, but mutually beneficial like sharing costs and other burdens
I really appreciate you keeping these videos rather brief. I would watch a lot more CZcamsrs if they did this as well. But when I see them posting 20-30 minute videos I'm like nah sorry I ain't got that kinda time. Well done ✅
A major reason I choose to remain single for life is because my personal time is far more valuable than spending it on a woman. Time is the most valuable thing we have and sex is not necessarily a good loss/expenditure of time if the quality of life is reduced as a consequence. A man might spend 20 years of his life married to a woman by making sacrifices/losses and for the woman to lose interest at the end and completely undermine the man's last 2 decades of precious time. Pussy is not a good expenditure of time when you list the high potential of backfire such as efforts that have diminishing returns, child support, STD's, emotional manipulation, etc. The problem with this planet is that billions of people exist in suffering because people have mindless sex.
Dear Dr. Taraban,
I want to thank you for your reasonable length, single subject posts. These make them much more accessible than others I have heard.
Also, the way you explain things reminds me of conversations with my late daddy when I was a teenager.
It is a nice bit of nostalgia for me.
Thank you.
Your analogies are god-like 🤯
Never heard relationship cost stated this clearly. Excellently done.
Me watching this after a man with a lower income than mine dumped me he literally left cause I’m higher in status ( higher education too) I never mentioned any of it I loved him sincerely and unconditionally…i was ready to give it all up for him…but he couldn’t feel his manhood around me was always insecure..I’ll never date another man with nothing to offer not because I care but because he wouldn’t be happy at all if he wasn’t providing I’ll be slowly killing him…it was a horrible relationship I couldn’t make him feel that he’s enough the way he was..the concept of acceptable loss is definitely men’s nature
"....But he couldn't feel his manhood around me was always insecure [sic]..."
And you believe that because you talked to him about this and that's what he told you? Or do you believe that because those things are connected from your perspective?
What I usually see, and what men usually discuss, is that women with higher income than their bf/husband are less respectful towards him than she would be otherwise, and when a woman is disrespectful to HER MAN, especially when that man is respected by other men, it's emasculating; It's an implicit claim that he isn't enough from someone he wants to perceive him with high regard. The fact that you consider this "insecurity" as though a man shouldn't care about the opinions of the people he loves - or who claim to love him - is strange to me. What should someone feel when they experience deep disapproval from someone they love?
@@rhysenfyneix7864 I didn’t guess that insecurity he said it when he was breaking up with me that the reason we won’t work is financial incompatibility…he lied about how bad his life was in front of my parents it wasn’t only a low income it was poverty kind of situation he said you don’t want to drag yourself down with me so I left cause that was ture
And I didn’t disapprove of him…never disrespected his efforts in the relationship even if they weren’t financial they were emotional..but i guess it’s not the perfect way to create a family
Lies
I would ask your self why you choose this man and situation. Don't put this all on the man. You choose this as well.
Yup my experience over 65 years
Wish I knew more earlier …. Would enjoy and pay for time spent. What a breath of fresh air your podcasts are
Guys. He's not saying "men you deserve to date down". He's saying that the current dating market requires you to acknowledge you will "lose" at least slightly, due to unchecked hypergamy being normalized. He's not saying you have to play the game. He's saying YOU determine your level of acceptable loss. And if its zero, then dating in the US is a no-go.
Value for men and women are different. For men, it's money and resources, for women, it's youth and fertility. Men cannot have children on their own. When a man of means marry a youthful virgin bride, who gives him children, and does not leave and take those children away, it's a win win.
Work on yourself (financially/intellectually, not go to gym and pump iron in order to attract 304s - that's dumb and cringe), then go to Vietnam to find the most impoverished village, find a virgin girl who's experienced nothing but hardships in life, bring value to her and her family's lives, uplift them. You choose to be her hero, and she will treat you like one. She is not devoid of value just for being pennilessand not knowing the ways of the world, she has her youth, innocence, and fertility. Had she been a man, her value would have been zero, but as a woman, her value vastly outclass any of those western boss babes. That is the value you receive, in exchange for a different set of values that you give.
"And if its zero, then dating in the US is a no-go."
Or dating anywhere, for that matter.
And remember: hypergamy had its limits decades ago when you were confined to your community and shaming promiscuous behavior was more widely accepted. Both of those limitations are gone. Most average women now have abundant sexual access to highly successful men through technology, and average men are seen as "worthless" as a result. Find happiness within yourself and find ways to enjoy life outside of a woman. Dating a modern woman who can't pair-bond and disrespects you will make you feel just as lonely as being on your own.
@@JohanDanielsson8802 Essentially. Technology has unleashed the extremes of hypergamy and it can't really be reigned in.
I am going to throw this out there just to be fair. If the goal is to get married and have kids then I guess you have to accept whatever loss that comes with that because having a family is expensive. Because you have brought more lives into this world (kids) then you gain more in the long run than you give up in the short run. But not financially. So I guess it depends on how you look at it. But the divorce rate is still 75% and the cost of marriage and family is very high. I have meet many men who regret marring a certain woman but I have never meet a man who regrets having kids.
Agreed, family benefit is the only true sacrifice worth making and is immeasurable but there is a line where men cannot be left destitute further down the line because of a breakdown between the man and the woman. It certainly wouldn't be allowed the other way around.
Oh? You haven't met my kids. 😅
75% divorce rate? For third marriages, yes (unsurprisingly). For first marriages it's closer to half.
@@maxjohnson1758 Straight facts 😂
@@Monerev Estimates are between 1% and 3% of children have "misattributed paternity." Pretty low numbers.
This videos script was polished to a shine man. Fantastic work on this one, Doc. The clarity, analogies, and overall message was top tier.
Perfect timing. I'm recently gaining the perspective that my self respect is not a function of a woman's approval, that I have value and am entitled to set my own boundaries. So if I am going to approach a woman, what do I really want from her, what am I willing to settle for, and how much am I willing to pay for the encounter?
Sex is worth a bounty (chocolate bar) and a conversation. Anything more than that and you are overpaying.
Thanks for your mention of clearly defining goals. I started doing that and got exactly what I was looking for. Knowing what you want and what you'll do (or not do) to get it is key.
Same. If the sex is sub par then I'm outty.
I’m thinking this is the only way to handle acceptable loss for now:
1. vet properly…look at her upbringing, values, and history.
2. no cohabitation or mingling of finances without marriage
3. get a prenup and have clearly defined roles and possible outcomes
4. be the head of the household…manage the finances and be the final decision maker
5. hide assets…never put everything in joint accounts or something that could be considered shared property…turn hobbies into legit businesses that exist outside the marriage (LLC, S-Corp, etc.), then distribute assets to those. Even if she leaves and tries to take everything, that will minimize what’s considered half. Plus, If I get to the point of being fully self-employed, I can pay myself practically nothing as a salary and won’t get robbed in child support. Of course 1, 2, and 3 should minimize most of that.
humans are not computers, and fail at following their own rules. One misstep and the pyramid collapses. Feelings are often the reason of the latter.
What's in it for her? Maybe a homeless chick would take you up.
and don't forget mandatory paternity test as well, along with the prenup. You got these sneaky hyenas who are great actresses that will step out ... and have you raising another man's seed.
@@user-bc4uz9tp8k yep..that goes in the prenup.
@@ericlarousse1149 ….or a woman that comes from a healthy, stable, traditional nuclear family and respects a man’s ability to protect, provide, and lead. This is why you have to vet properly. Any woman that has a problem with 1-4 is an automatic red flag and not really marriage material. The last one was just the backup for the backup in case shit completely hits the fan. She’ll never know about number 5.
Thanks! Your videos are SO valuable. I went to a good school to study psychology and have honed my game from 18-34. Despite being no rookie to the game, your videos Describe the dynamics at hand, and elucidate there, working, so clearly, there is absolutely no denying it anymore on any of these principles. I am optimistic that watching your videos will facilitate a strong entry into my next relationship. These videos are probably worth at least a grand
A very elegant explanation of truth. Simply beautiful! Thank you Dr.
Hypergamy is about materialistic and superficial betterment. If all of the deeper qualities in a man are met then Hypergamy is a bonus. Hypergamy cannot replace the qualities that make for a meaningful relationship
💯 That last part. It's called desperate Hypergamy- when her hypergamous ambition supercedes her self-worth, self-esteem, self-love, etc. Women will forgo lack of good character, fidelity, baby mommas, colorism or even looks if her hypergamy trumps her rational thinking. 🤔
Unfortunately we live in a materialistic and superficial world. That’s why hypergamy is the rule, not the exception
So called "meaningful" relationships only possible when the "superficial" needs are met. Two people gotta be attracted to each other in the first place to even get a chance to know each other
Do women want meaningful relationship? Look at the actual outcome in this time and place (not 70 years ago or in China) before answering.
I wonder how much of it is a woman trying to make her friends jealous.
Trop trop contente que vous aillez réussi à mettre ça en place. Merci infiniment pour cette source d’information variée et très agréable à écouter.
Pleins de gros bisous doux à toute l’équipe 😁😁
Plein prend un "s" dans le sens de rempli seulement. Pas dans le sens de plusieurs/beaucoup.
I liked your channel from the beginning when I stumbled upon it around half a year ago. But now I'm starting to love it. Every new upload from you sparks a lot of dopamine 😁
Thanks for this video! Woman watcher here, new subscriber. I really appreciate how clearly you articulate your knowledge. This is very valuable for both women and men to know. I am having epiphanies and insights. Highly appreciate this, biology 🧬 is biology, can’t explain away the facts. ❤
The unfairness is simply your legal system. In most of Latin America, if the woman becomes unacceptable the man simply leaves and she gets nothing else. That's why the women work so hard to keep their man satisfied. Gentlemen, get your passports!
Incorrect. I am Latin American and you will always be expected to provide. Stop lying to these men.
There are laws here that also make you pay child support we simply take our complaint to the consulate. You're done.
Men genuinely LOVE Women and it's not nearly as easy for them to just find a new Woman as Women when finding another Man so it is very unlikely for him to simply leave and not try and work things out. Women do not love Men, they love what Men can do for them(Briffault's Law) so they will inevitably leave if th circumstances incentivizes them to.
@@clauaome25 🤣 Tell that to all of the single mothers who have no idea where their "husband" is.
However, it only works because there is pressure from the woman's family to keep the marriage together. If you bring her to the United States, that pressure is gone, and she will only be with you as long as you have money and resources to provide. The moment those resources are gone, she is gone as well. Also, some women only marry you for the green card, and once they get the green card, they are gone within 5 years.
It's all nice and dandy until you she decides to date the broke bad boy and let be beaten by him. So much for gain. Everyone pays, except chad, tyrone and bad boys...we all know how that goes.
I love your examples! I also love that you are obviously extremely intelligent. Yet you can dissertate it at a user friendly level.
Gem! You are excellent. Thanks for your contribution in this space.
‘All men pay’! Another great message.
my first wife slept-around and cucked me. :-/ 15 years later I tried marriage again. My second wife (a pious Christian woman) got breast/bone cancer and suffered miserably for years a slow painful death. She did not deserve that path. The emotional loss in that suffering with her is WAY worse than divorce court. I'll never catch feelings for another woman. no way. The costs are enormous.
Im so sorry ;(
Dr. You are dropping nuggets of wisdom. You bring peace and extreme pleasure to the curious and explanation-hungry brain of mine. Thank you
this chanel is pure gold!
I feel that I have taken way too much loss for my marriage... Ti much sacrifice to much missed opportunities, all for my wife to be disrespectful and treat me like a little kid.... I'm not sure whether our marriage will work out or not but if it dosent, never again will I ever be married or even have a gf
.. I'm serious I don't think any relationship with a woman is worth it anymore.....
same situation here. mine has cost me at least 500,000 in missed opportunities. but we have two young kids together
@MH-jp8en I have two kids as well, but sometimes think it's the only thing that keeps me married.... don't want my kids to end up in the streets..
I think that a lot of us are bitter and this is a good space for men to vent those feelings. But, realistically, women are just as self-interested as we are. For now, I’m choosing to focus on my fitness and financial goals before dating. I want to find a woman who will be a loyal and life-long partner, friend, and lover. I don’t “stand out” enough on dating apps and I take accountability for that rather than blaming women. It’s my fault for downloading them and expecting anything else, really.
This was brilliantly put. Well said.
I’ve never heard this from that point of view and it rings very true; it assumes that relationships are a zero sum game but in those aspects of a relationship that are, it’s 100% right! Thanks for the enlightenment
I appreciate the ideas, however keep in mind that the whole is much larger than the sum of its parts. Two men working together work better than each one individually, a woman and a man have much better results and if they are also in love the results can be spectacular, up to 5-7 times. Of course, the woman must be willing to be part of the team, to get involved and follow the lead. What I'm saying is: there is no need for loss. In the long run, at least, each party can get much better outcomes in a relationship than alone, provided each one follows their roles.
"Provided each one follows their roles"......and women's roles have changed massively, while men's remain the same. Women are no longer required to play a supportive role, and don't (in general).
Your aboulsey right it's a business agreement between the couple and courts system , and this is how men lose more money on a marriage that gone beyond the expiration date.
People married for money and stability and learn to love each other in the marriage but sometimes it makes no sense to stay together and the woman wants a divorce and hopefully you didn't have kids because it's high way robbery if you wonder if they are your own kids.
Marriage is a business arrangement just like arranging a marriage overseas neither one loves each other but sometimes it works out and sometimes it don't.
That business contract overseas don't reward women by breaking it, so fewer women break it, and more men are willing to sign.
It is for children, not for you. You go to work for money, not for friendships, marriage is no different.
@@swojnowski453 When the woman divorces you and takes your children, it's like your boss fires you and you pay back all the paychecks he paid, then pay him extra from that point forward in the form of alimony/child support.
Throughout history, men married for children. Nowadays, in the western world, they stopped marrying, because their children are being taken away. Simple.
Thank you for the video. It's not often in life where we get the unvarnished truth we needed to hear.
Sir, you are going to be so famous! This was brilliantly explained. Thank you
there is nothing new about the content, just another rendition of old truths. No Einstein, just another talking head.
To be fair, it is not a matter of just acceptable loss because it is not a zero sum game. It's a matter of seeing more value in what you get than in what you give. Hell, you might even end up with a gain under that perspective.
he meant objective or value that can be measured. The resources moves from men to women.
70 years ago, you get lifelong commitment, children, feminine housewife. Today, the amount of cool-aid you need to drink to see more value in what is offered will leave you a vegetable.
Yes. Suppose a man puts $100 into a relationship and gets $125 back, but the woman contributes $50 and gets $150 back. It might not seem exactly fair, but this scenario results in the man getting more than he would by staying single.
Absolutely. When a shift occurs and the woman feels as though her gains have diminished or even completely reversed (he's getting more) she's going to sense this on some level and there will be cognitive dissonance and frustration. She may not be able to put her finger on it exactly but there will be a nagging feeling that she's getting ripped off.
Not only that, but her friends and family will also start to notice and they will start to interfere to "protect" her and this will serve to validate her feelings and eventually it's all going to fall apart.
"Love" is not enough gain for them to stay. Once she starts losing respect she will lose "love". And every day she's starting to notice more and more problems even if those things weren't problems for a long time. She'll start feeling disgusted by him. In turn, he'll feel that too and this will cause more anxiety and insecurity in him and he may pull back or double down. Then she doubles down on her feelings and eventually they're going to crash.
The relationship turns toxic. Then she leaves and of course, he is deemed the bad guy/deadbeat/abuser. She doesn't have to accept any accountability for any of it.
@@haroldb1856 Realistically the man would lose half of his net worth to the woman.
Starting a family and losing risking half of your assets for real ??
Divorce rate is 90% for women with 6+ bodycount, 6% for virgins at time of marriage. No man would consider a no fault divorce that takes away half his assets along with all of his children acceptable loss.
Yes
@@PreppyPrincess777yasssss queen! 😂
Half your assets, half your income, and your kids.
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE
@@PreppyPrincess777 🤡🤡 what’s the women offering ??
Very well presented of information that is probably well known to most people by now, but most don't rationalize through it.
Great insights brother, youre the mvp of 2023 on dating game
I was in 15 years of marriage and now divorced 4 years(which she initiated), this man speaks truth… expect A LOT of LOSSES if you wanna go the rout I did…
Very eloquently put once again doctor and indeed women wait at the finish line and pick the winner dry.
Very good episode. With this framework one can make good decisions.
I love the words and analogies you use, you are correct about everything you say here.
Women have made it pretty clear
Men get a free cook, cleaner , childminder, housekeeper, teacher, free therapy, a social life, sexpartner, continuing their dna, someone paying half their mortgage/rent & expenses.
The women is already cooking for herself, minder her own child, keeping her own home, I see a man do a lot of principle teaching I know my father did more than my mom, seems like women needs more therapy than men, women gets 100% guaranteed dna continuity man has 1/25 chance today getting cuck intentionally or accidentally, most women do not pay 1/2 the house hold expenses.
So net still negative, And Worst if and when she cheats, cause it's a 33% chance she will do it at least once in 7-30 years marriage, and it's the man's greatest fear as women cheats emotionally more than man and their loyalty shifts way more than man, yes a women can't love 2 man at the same time.
I’d love to live on your planet. 😂
So u agree, you want to have the option to cheat on your men and still be net positive.
Half of men today in the United States are unmarried and single so what are you talking about
You hit the nail on the head with this one brother 👏
This has changed my approach to how I pursue women. Thank you.