Men do the right things with the wrong women: the importance of a system
Vložit
- čas přidán 29. 06. 2024
- Men often complain that it's always the women they don't particularly like who seem to pursue them for relationships, while the women they want to engage always seem to slip through their fingers. This is because men do the right things with the wrong women. In this episode, I'll discuss a number of ways this occurs in the courtship process, while providing a general prescription for this difficulty.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consulta...
Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Social Media
Facebook: profile.php?id=1...
LinkedIn: / orion-taraban-070b45168
Instagram: / psyc.hacks
Twitter: / oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: • Enrico Deiana - Orion'...
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: / @grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
/ @psychacks
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #men
Men often complain that it's always the women they don't particularly like who seem to pursue them for relationships, while the women they want to engage always seem to slip through their fingers. This is because men do the right things with the wrong women. In this episode, I'll discuss a number of ways this occurs in the courtship process, while providing a general prescription for this difficulty.
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: czcams.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/video.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
czcams.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #men
I've been telling any guy that will listen, for years now mind you, that Valentine's day and the traditions around it are at best a waste of time for the guy, and at worst counter-productive. Its nice to hear someone else finally echo this type of sentiment. Thank you for the video Orion.
There is one fault in this episode. The assumption that "the 9" and "the 6" are both have the same probability of availability. Which in the real world never happens. If a man gets lucky that "the 9" woman is in between relationships and available is like hitting a jackpot at the casino as soon as you walk in the door. "The 6" is available has a higher probability. In the real world, approaching the same way to both woman will get rejected 99% of the time by "the 9" and 60% of the time by "the 6". By simple probability of availability. You can spend your entire life meeting say just 10 women who are a 9, only 1 of them will be available. But you can spend your entire life meeting 100 women who are a 6, 40 of these will be available at the time of the meeting. The TRUE LESSON IN THIS EPISODE SHOULD BE: DO NOT WAIT FOR THE 9 TO COME ALONG.
An average man will probably get hit by lightning before he meets "the 9", who is available, and have the courage to approach her, and not screw up.
We ❤ to be pursued. If you don't call us ☎️ we won't either. So please show some interest and contact us a couple of days after the 1st date. (You don't have to love bomb us). Also, a quality woman with her own ethics may not sleep with you for months. Thos will be something you need to communicate about.
The problem with this is that women are trained to play HARD TO GET and not to call ☎️ guys or show too much interest and only respond to men who pursue. So if both sexes follow this advice, the human race will die out 😢
The problem with this is that women are trained to play HARD TO GET and not to call ☎️ guys or show too much interest and only respond to men who pursue. So if both sexes follow this advice, the human race will die out 😢
I married the woman that chased me, married 45+ years and she's still chasing me, marriage on easy mode...
My wife likes to do things for me, sometimes I tell her that I appreciate what she does. Which seems to make her want to do more. Seem to make her happier.
Interesting. Dime in a dozen.
Why are you watching this video?
What do you do for her? How do you add to her life?
@@AlexB_yolobecause he's lying
@@ericmwai1149Nope, a self serving redpill dream though
My question is why? Why do we have to go against our human nature for relationships to work? Everything inside me screams to give gifts, to text often, and to open up emotionally, its physically painful to pretend not to care when I do, why do I need to battle against myself for this? Why can't it just be natural and beautiful.
Fr
Because it is usually not smart to follow your emotions.
You are a men and you need to control them.
Women want men who have options. And they want a man who is capable of being brutal yet soft with them as long as they earn it. My best advice for you is to get f'd over enough when you are young that you realize that women aren't anything special. You have to learn to say no and mean it. And a man's most powerful weapon is to walk away and find other options.
Most women don't know what they want all they know is they want more. You have to find a woman who is willing to follow you on your journey and keep her unsure of your relationship with her. It is fkd up but those are the rules of the game if you choose to engage.
If I don't want to "fake it" (until I understand it & embody it fully), I need to first develop "spiritually".
At some point, I might realise that there is limited benefit of "having" a 9 OR a 6. And if a 9 or a 6 wants me, then I check if she could fit in my "time schedule"/ "life", and not vice versa.
We all have a choice. Love to you ❤
You don't have to do any of this. You can just do whatever feels natural and let the chips fall where they may. That certainly works for many people.
But most of us are here because we tried it that way and we didn't like how things ended up. And if you have bad habits or unresolved issues in your past then what feels "natural" might actually be self destructive and maladaptive behavior if you're looking for a healthy relationship.
This 10 minute video sums of hours and hours of content otherwise found elsewhere.
Great stuff.
I agree, good stuff.
Also, I thought your profile picture was the Steam logo for a moment. 😂
@@williammuldrow2165
☺☺
Elsewhere don't have the same knowledge, Orion is a PhD.
and with no need to roast women or gentrify the message with hip hop bs lol
A wolf pursues, a lion waits.
The problem is men tend to try to operate within their own level when it comes to women. And that’s the problem, there aren’t “levels” to women, where you treat more attractive women better than the less attractive ones. Even the most unattractive women have the same standards as the beautiful ones. So no need switch up your dominant risk taking strategy if it works across all boards.
Good summary of the vid
So true
Why would unattractive women be allowed to have the same standards as attractive women when they can’t attract what they want? Are you saying males being overly desperate for unattractive women is the real problem?
we might as well go all in with the 9s and 10s then. Good luck Gentlemen!
Agreed. Further exacerbating this problem is the amount of information asymmetry between men who get attractive women regularly and men who don't. Men who don't normally date hot women make wildly inaccurate assumptions about what they're like and are attracted to due to their own lack of experience. For example, I've been surprised on many occasions at the low-quality men that some very attractive have been married to or had kids with. Like it took everything in me not to tell blurt out that they would've gotten a far better experience had they made those decisions with me instead lol.
Need to be emotionally detached at the same time have genuine intentions with the person of interest. From experience, very difficult but doable. Just don’t get stuck on obsession on the future. Stay present and mindful.
Try talking to woman using ChatGPT. That will reduce or even eliminate your emotional investment but then it’s not fun anymore. Not feeing any things.
Fr it’s such a difficult balance lol
Becomes more difficult as the level of attractiveness goes up (assuming she hasn't blatantly disrespected you yet), but yes, this is in fact the key. As George in Seinfeld put it, 'indifference'
@@mctreasureThere’s a difference between a healthy level of interest and a man’s desperation. Women can tell the difference a mile away. The former is good, the latter is cringe worthy.
@@mctreasure It not indifference, but having a lack of intense neediness, especially when you are not in a committed relationship with her. It’s about letting go of the NEED to get a woman. A desire is ok, while need is not.
It is true, Dr. Taraban. The choice is very important. No matter how good your intentions and actions are, if directed at the wrong person, it will not work. Many people interpret kindness and patience as weakness. This is true for men and women.
That was not his point though.
They assume that there is something hidden behind that kindness and patience. Whoever can't be unkind is not kind. That could be a weakness.
Maybe patience is more applicable
@@dificulttocurehow so? That was definitely his point. Bad people perceive good people as weak.
@@dudleyviban2764 Did you people actually watch the video? Or just commented based on the title? What he refers to as "wrong women" in the video are simply women who are average attractive, as opposed to the "right women" who are very attractive women (the ones you would much rather be with). He never says anything related to perceiving good people as weak.
I cannot find the words to describe how much I utterly detest how accurate this video is for us men.
Me too. It's sickening. Women in the West date for leisure, not for marriage. That is, until the been ran through for 15 years.
I was listening and thinking wow, this is messed up. It's kind of weird how we want to have a relationship with what is in effect a creature from another planet. Maybe gay people have it a lot easier.
Gay guys are geniuses. Unfortunately, I require a female body for certain activities.
Keep it simple: Don't go after a woman due to looks or feelings or what you hear even. You need to learn what the character and values of the woman is. Only then is it worth investing into a relationship. Namely if you pick the wrong woman, you chose the wrong criteria in the first place... "Go back to START - Do not PASS Go - Do not COLLECT 200 Dollars!"
How can our observation be so strong that we are able to pick this up if we're going for a cold approach in a social setting?
Exactly. What do all my failed relationships have in common? My own initial poor judgement. lol
@@thebbksociety There you go, it's about criteria isn't it? I remember when I was a lot younger and my brother's friend/flatmate had a girl who was seeing him and really pushing hard for a serious relationship and he was much less interested, especially as he was working so hard. Each time she met us she was so super sweet and friendly and seemed like such a nice person: Surely she's going to be such a great girlfriend and maybe even wife? They did get married and they are successful and still together so it turned out alright in the end - but if you met her now, you'd only see not a princess but a dragon...
I learnt from that: People are not who they seem to be, especially on the surface.
@@thebbksociety You have to learn/develop vetting skills sir. There are many ways to read a woman before the approach happens - the way she dress, her manerisms/persona, the way she talks, in your scenario, how is she dancing, is she drunk, who is she with,etc...what are those illustrations associated with...Do you know how to make the conjecture of who would most likely be someone worth keeping around vs. the "fun time not a long time"..
It could be your friend changed her for the worse@@commentarytalk1446
Well, I learned relatively young not to pursue women I was not really attracted to. And not to go along with gals who are attracted to me, but I am so-so about.
I've been consuming Dating/Relationship content for about 12 years now as someone who has always been obsessed with this topic. As a psychologist you are a the biggest influence in my life and the quality of your content, I can very easily say, is unmatched. There is no relationship/dating advice out there that is as spot on as your content. I find it fascinating, how you manage to impress me with almost every video you post. Most content on CZcams is pseudo-helpful bullshit with no actual use in real life. Your videos actually help very much. That is very difficult to achieve.
12 years! If you have not accomplished your objective as far as relationships or mating after all this time then you might better consider hanging it up.
That's a very low iq response. I am a psychologist myself and earn my money by giving dating advice. Wtf are you talking about.
@@marktapley7571 What a brainless response. I work as a psychologist myself and earn money giving dating advice.
@@marktapley7571pathetic advice. Its never too late until we are 6 feet under the ground. We are here to encourage and help each other as men as we pursue common interests and goals.
@@prittkoprittke1675I understand your frustration but you didn't explain yourself properly. I actually thought the same thing. If you had said that you're a psychologist yourself in search of new ideas then your post would have made a lot more sense.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
@@user-er9hv4pl2u dude this is the very behaviour that pushes women away from what im getting. No amount of want will make a women want you more. Let go. Don't be desparate. Life is very livable on your own, and you will realise it and become healtheir as a result.
@manyweidman do you think your wife slept with other men when you and her divorced?
Fascinating video, Let's stop taking relationship and family for granted. I have battled depression since my wife left me. I have tried all I can to make her see that I love her with everything I am made of but she has insisted on leaving. This has made me so empty, and I do not know what to do. I can barely function properly at work. I am frustrated and miserable. I really miss her.
Your pain resonates with me. Letting go of someone dear to your heart is an immense challenge. I found myself in a comparable situation when my 12-year-long relationship ended, and I struggled to accept it. Despite my efforts to reconcile, I eventually turned to a spiritual counsellor for guidance, which eventually led to a reunion. I'm now filled with joy
I'm keen on meeting the counsellor you're talking about. What steps should I take?
Online, you'll find shelly renee white, revered for her expertise as a spiritual counsellor. She has the ability to reunite couples and promote holistic well-being
Thank you for this information. I have just looked her up on Google. impressive.
Same effing BOTS with same comments.
Delete these bastards
This is definitely true for women as well. When I was single the guys I couldn't care less about were the ones that were crazy about me.
Same.
The same guys were "crazy" about you, whether you were single or not.
Those guys "crazy about you" believed you were in their league... and you were single because the guys you wanted were out of your league and couldn't care less about you
@@alex-pOr the guys she was interested in perceived her as a 'nine' and didn't approach her
That's equally possible. Remember that it was stated in the video that women and men evaluate attractiveness along different dimensions, so it's very plausible this lady was attracted to guys who saw her as 'out of their league' because they went by looks whilst she went by something else
I'm not saying I KNOW that's the case or that you're necessarily wrong but your comment seems bitter tbh and I think your view should be challenged because it's a sweeping generalisation lol
@@whoknowsanymorebro Actually, Alex comment seems to come from a place of experience and wisdom. Your comment seems a bit like a person reaching to debunk someone. Alex is far more likely to be true than yours, although you may have a unicorn point.
If you are a man, Soak it up without ego or bitterness, learn from this.
Sometimes the advice you give is so good that I don't feel like sharing it with anybody)
Attraction is relative. A physical 6 can be a functional 9 (and vice versa) when you get to chatting with them.
Someone who is funny, cool, kind, and has common interests gets way more attractive than her looks. Someone who is self absorbed, shallow, and dull is an instant turnoff, even if they are classically pretty.
Couldn’t agree more and this is the same for women too!
❤ the blind date I had and thought jeez he’s ugly was the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever had ❤
Men's biggest weakness is to get weakened by her beauty.
@@animalloverswoof4995 that's awesome! 💕
@@rayrwyr totally agree. Being attracted to someone is important. We just have to learn to expand what we find physically attractive to less than a "9 or perfect 10" in looks.
@@docaff -- Even if she is 10, we have to think with the right head (that is on our shoulder, and NOT that is down there)
« Treat the nine like the six. » Makes sense. Thank you
Dr. Taraban is on 🔥🔥🔥. If someone would've told me that this guy was a master of game, I would not have believed you. No, I have found that Dr. Sensei Taraban is the man. His advice hasn't missed yet. Thank you sir! 🎯
He is great at breaking down the info and data but I’m curious how truly good he is in face to face game with women
@@brianmeen2158 🤔🤔
@@brianmeen2158 I have a feeling he is quite good at it: he is good looking, very real , extremely smart, witty and has great depth. I like him a lot.
I literally just did this with a woman who threw the gifts I gave her out her car window and said I didn't appreciate her =\ she drank every day, didn't cook or clean or communicate or really even look after herself. our sex was the best I've EVER had by far. I don't know what's wrong with me but I fell for her before I really knew who she was. after a year were living together, one day she just leaves, never says why. insists shes not seeing anyone else. (I don't believe her). time to move on I suppose but dayum that one really hurt.
Live and learn brother. Stay strong
Pedestal rejection. Keep treating them like a romantic movie and keep getting the same result.
You are better off without her. It sounds like she has a legit personality disorder. The sex with those types is better than ever. But guys do pay for it with their sanity. You will lose WAY more than $. It's not pretty.
How good could the sex have been if she didn’t take care of herself? Maybe consider not thinking intimacy is only about sex because it is not
Was she a 9 according to your standards? Because for most of the men different woman fall in these bracket based on their interests and values
I agree and I would add that there is a fine line between showing interest and making a nuisance of yourself. I've missed more green lights than I've gone through red ones.
I always come back every couple weeks or so to revise this so I don't forget
In my experience dating women you are super attracted to is easier than undesirable women because you will want to make it work. Once again Doc nails it-it's all about playing it cool.
I tend to approach 6s because I believe they are attainable. But I lose interest due to their lack of attractiveness.
I believe if I start I going for attractive women like 8s 9s, atleast my interest won't fade away. Yeah maybe I will pedestalize them in the beginning or something. But I will correct my ways soon enough.
@@vinitmotghare8182 6 are above average and still you are NOT attracted to them. Who are you? Tom Cruise?
For marriage, Much More important than Beauty: is she a relationship material personality-wise? Is she virgin or withlow body count? Is she loyal? Is she submissive? Is she from a good family?
@@rayrwyr I'm attracted to 5 and 6s man! I approach them all the time, if I wasn't attracted to them somewhat I wouldn't approach them.
I am saying I lose interest after 3 months or so if I am in a relationship with them.
I think I would lose interest if I'm in a relationship with good personality 7 or 8.
@@vinitmotghare8182 -- I married a 9 and after 15 years of good marriage she slowly turned into an all-out abusive bi*ch and then her attractiveness meant nothing to me any more. She became ex.
Beautiful women prefer handsome men
It is a knowledge that would have been so useful in my twenties. I will pass it to my son and make sure that he really understand it.
Tell me why I’m 40 years old and this is just so eye opening. This makes so much sense. Whether this works out on the field is another thing, but man it sounds so right. Thank you.
This is all good stuff that most men who are a bit experienced already know. I wish you had also explained to men "HOW TO CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS" when they meet someone attractive.
Dr. Taraban. You are a legend.
One of the things I think that Orion does well is occasionally swear. "The same FUCKING thing" is more likely to get through some men's thick skulls then "The same thing". The effectiveness I think is in part due to how reserved Orion is. Like, he can't do that in every video, because then it would loose its effectiveness. By reserving it for those most important points for men to understand he makes best use of the swearing.
I don’t know but from
What I’ve seen I don’t think many men are going to change much. Sitting home alone watching content like this they will swear to change this and that but as soon as they meet a somewhat attractive woman that shows a tiny bit of interest in them - they are off to the races.. they will ignore all of the red flags and get into a relationship with this woman then a couple years down the road will be so confused as to why it isn’t working out 🤣🤣
@@brianmeen2158 I am not sure what your point is. You concede that some men will change a bit from watching this content. What is your point? Are you trying to suggest that this content shouldn't be made because most people are not going to change? Whatever the amount of people who change because of this video is to the better. And this is even if it fewer people changing than what you think would be acceptable.
@@brianmeen2158 I think the profanity comes from his frustration with women.
I am able to get the point without the cursing. I think his information is great and appreciate him. However I feel the profanity detracts from his message and my respect for him.
@@filipposa212I see absolutely no indication of that at all 😂 This video had nothing to do with being frustrated with women at all. He was speaking directly to men.
Well said. I hadn't seen it from that perspective. Thank you.
Fascinating! Brilliant analysis that squares 100% with my experience. Thanks for articulating it.
another amazing episode. your relationship advice is unmatched, best i've ever heard
You put into words what I’ve been thinking implicitly for years! What a relief!
Bravo 👏👏
Orion is spot on!
Thank you my friend
i've seen other content on social media and yours is one of the absolute best
I wish i knew this when i was in high school. As men, we always have high expectations from pretty women all the time, but they actually have the same insecurities like any other women.
We need to stop categorizing women based on their looks and try to know their personality first. After that, it gets easier to get along.
Nice vid💯💯💯
Yep I remember the first attractive girl I dated - she looked super hot on the outside but when I got to know her I was shocked at how insecure she was. Other women are the same and I always try to get guys to understand this
This episode is mind-blowng! Thank you!
8:58 So accurate it is not even funny.
I feel like a lot of guys forget that all women are naturally cautious and even afraid of being approached by men. A woman has to put her guard down in order to allow you an opportunity with her.
*I* pursued the relationship with my man because he showed himself to be safe to pursue. (Confident, casual, funny, not pushy or overtly focused on me)
Fellas: hold out a carrot, and the prey will literally walk right up to you.
You were just attracted to him. Guard or no guard, if the guy is attractive enough to her, she will give herself up.
If you're a woman, why are you talking about women as 'prey' to dangle a carrot in front of? How odd!
@@eQuariuzGive herself up? Why do redpill men have such creepy views on women?
Not all are afraid or concerned. Or there’s at least myself. But few men approach me so I’m the one who initiates. Even though I’ve only been approached by one man I found attractive, I appreciated the other men (so long as they don’t touch me - that I don’t like & is too common with Arab men - basically the only ones who approach me 🤮).
@@maidende8280 with that kind of emoji, i understand it's more than a preference and good luck with your judgement in men lolz
the right video in the rightest time !
I thought of it for a long time!! I love how you always explain things clearly !! Great job Orion
This is the definition of the fboy's dilemma also. When you get used to pulling the 6s because you find it easy to hold frame, be that dude and take her home, you almost start having selection bias. Social circle may start thinking you're not into long term stuff so you become the rebound guy or just a feel good one-time thing. It's frustrating.
When you meet a girl you're actually getting attached to and you want to get serious it all falls apart like you said because you think you have to behave completely differently and ruin it. But yeah, anyone who's friends with really hot women knows they're just like the ones you can actually take home, they laugh at the same jokes, find similar things attractive. Really good advice!
Thank God I came to know you.
You make the difficult simple.
Superb explanation. Great video.
I love this dude. I've learned so much these last few months
you snapped on this one, phenomenal video
Thanks Orion for describing real behavior and how it should be.
My guy is spitting facts, keep cooking my G
Dr. always with the new perspective
Your content is gold!
I get the point but found my wife without doing that. I'd gone through the dirty of my 20s with little practice and she was relatively new to relationships. Maybe we were naive but we dated for marriage, neither of us knew or wanted to play games but it worked.
Same here, it just happened
Lucky man. It's nice when both people aren't looking to play games and just let stuff play out naturally.
And you are (seemingly happily) married. These redpill gurus aren't. That should always be kept in perspective when people are treating their words as gospel
@@Julie-en5lgNo, not as gospel but I get why some do feel that way. The redpill is not taken easily, its a suppository. So if I got wrecked in a divorce, kids taken, and homeless I might be singing a different toon. Thankfully I'm not.
@@johnclark3531 Luckily that almost never happens, and men should know that they can't force their wives to stay with them anymore.
Dr. Taraban - thank you for consistently providing powerful messages in highly-concentrated form. You respect the viewer's time and I am grateful. Please continue your format of not accepting outside financial inputs. Your message does not need to be compromised or otherwise diluted. Cheers.
Thank you for that message.
It’s like Orion is in my head or something. Amazing content and love seeing you on other podcasts!
Wow you made this sound so obvious! Great insight!
Best episode ever, so far and I’m only 4:19 in, laughing my sack off! Thanks Doc 😂
Most guys demonstrate lower value and start simping out of control. It is an easy thing to do, especially if you are a low value simp. Dr Taraban is right. You need to demonstrate higher value and act with indifference. This will come naturally if you actually are a high value alpha chad.
So should one already consider themselves a 10 when choosing to hit on that 9 in the bar?
@@thebbksociety What's the alternative? If you're going to shoot your shot with anyone it's best to come at them in a confident way that says "I got this and I'll be a great choice for you". If you don't your chances of success will be quite low. If you don't think you have what it takes then go back to the drawing board and do the work until you do.
Let’s be honest - most guys you see are average simp types. They struggle with attracting even average looking women so when they go get a girl that shows the smallest bit of interest in them these guys just lose all sense of
My guy hit it out of the park on this one. Spot on
I love this guy! Keep up the good work sir 👏
The Dr. just went over my entire dating life in ten minutes.
From experience, I ended up, married, and bearing children for the man that chased and pursued me and still is pursuing me in marriage. And the ones that didn’t, I wouldn’t even give a second thought to. But that’s just me, I need to feel wanted and desired. If I don’t, I lose interest and desire straight away. Just my life experience.
Wild
same for me - two kids with chasing man. I like to be chased and pursued, otherwise there is no passion, just calculating opportunities like chess.
Does the opinion varies with age? Because it can happen that when a woman is younger she might enjoy the chase but does not jave respect for the guy in early stages? Has there been any research papers establishing these theories across different societies?
@@thebbksociety not sure, but I am in early 20’s and husband is mid 30’s. I don’t have the issue, I have the upmost respect for him and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him and vice versa.
@anyaf.6946
Just curious, were you born and raised in the U.S ?
Supremely helpful, this makes so much sense
Never thought of it this way. Great vid Doc
Rejection from a perceived "6" sends men off their rocker. Lol
You're too good!
You broke my mind on my lunch break.
Thanks?
No bs though, thank you.
Your channel and content has given me new insight.
I learnt this the Hard way.....Wish I had known sooner.....Thanks Doc, Much love from Ghana 🇬🇭
100% facts.
One of this best episodes if not the best
This guy always nails it.
Just tried this on my mom and it works!❤🎉😂
Thanks!
I love this video man. This is so helpful!
Fantastic epizod3, and a delight to hear❤
Mens hunter instinct work against them. If the see a 8-10 they see prey who is so fast it will get away meaning wasted effort if they see a 1-3 its prey that isn’t filling against wasted effort but 4-7 catchable prey worth the effort.
Also even if he takes a shot at a 1-3 or a 8-10 if she starts to give too much pushback it’s not worth the added effort to finish the deal on and un-filling or too fast prey.
But if he’s chasing a 6 he thinks he can overcome pushback and won’t break off the pursuit.
Truth!
Excellent points here, Dr.
Brilliant analogy with the pocket aces!
Here's the BRUTAL TRUTH, men:
Marriages/Families are for everyone.
What's not for everyone are HAPPY marriages/families.
In order for a marriage to be a happy one, the right man should pair up with the right woman.
Most people are not the right ones for marriage, because they're not fit for relationships, men or women.
So, yeah, by definition, most marriages were not, are not, and will not be happy ones. Only a few of them (I bet on Pareto Principle, so 20% worldwide, meaning 5% in the West and 35% in Asia) are happy marriages.
A lot more women (than men) "settle" or are alpha widows and as a result are THE problematic side in the marriage. The numbers in US - around 75% of divorces are initiated by women pursuing their "feelings"...
@@ndhtyu m'en are problematic in the martial too : they lose their game ! They become predictable, some lack ambition and vision, some become "weak", lack leadership, dominance...So, it'sboth sides. Men need game on their wife still !❤
5% max, depending on how you define happiness. Personally I’ve only seen/known 3 truly happy marriages. And then maybe a handful of ‘not actively unhappy’ ones.
Haven’t known any Asian couples but the least happy marriage I know is between a white American & and Chinese woman.
"Men do the right things with the wrong women" Just the title alone, you are absolutely right! Haven't even pressed play yet just had to let you know. Ran myself into the ground for years behind just that sentence.
You're a genius, Dr. You're the only man speaking the truth to the unaware masses of men. Godspeed.
I like the vetted solid 8 measured by the following metrics.
Fit
Feminine
Friendly
Cooperative
I don’t date western woman. Especially in No-Fault Divorce Countries. In the United corporation of America, I reside in monk mode in order to concentrate on business and accruing a sufficient income, in order to travel or live in a country that is more desirable to my needs. It makes interactions with women in my case more tolerable because I’m just not interested.
Sounds like someone, maybe a 6, divorced you. It does hurt. Bitterness is not attractive, and neither is hoping to enslave women from poor countries. All women are capable of leaving you no matter how poor they are.
NEVER? I understand your reservations, but is it really an ironclad rule for you? How old are you & what race?
@@maidende8280 yes, it is an ironclad rule monk mode is when you concentrate on building your wealth in order to leave the United States.
I am light, brown, furry, and the person you would clinch your purse if I walked into an elevator.
I am about five dog years old .
Thanks for clearing that up Dr. I have always wondered why some of my past girlfriends are 6s and some are 9s ... I think timing is key too. You cannot and will not get a 6 or a 9 if you both are not seeking each other. Another great video!
Great video as always
I will have to rewatch this video again. It is gold
It is true. Somehow most people make you believe that women want to be chased but they dont. From my experience its always better when you choose someone who chose you and its not going to happen if you act differently only because she is hot. She will see it and that will turn her off since she could think that it will need another hot woman to replace her.
no matter how beautiful a woman is, she wants the same thing as every other women. They want to feel safe. And i dont believe you could feel safe around a needy guy that act on his urges
Even if they say they want that, they dont
Do guys ever think it's a sure thing? I certainly don't. After a drink, I wouldn't approach the 6 or the 9 - I would just go home. I expect to be rejected by both.
You miss 100% of the opportunities you don't take.
The only sure thing is that you don't approach, you will end up alone. Approaching gives you a chance, that even small, is still better than nothing.
The movie “The Mask” perfectly illustrates what you are describing. Excellent points! 💯
Best video I've ever seen on this topic. The internal game (especially managing your belief about your own worthiness in the presence of extremely attractive women) is the hardest part of game in general.
We're getting serious ❤
Babe wake up, Taraban posted a new video!
Why she still asleep?
This is GOLD ✨
Genius! Thanks for sharing.
All success with women I had (short fun & long term) came from trying to get intimate as soon as possible.
True. And when women want to wait to get intimate with you... it's because they want to wait to get intimate with YOU. Not someone rich, fit, or is good at spitting game at clubs. Their little wait game is just a way to make you fail while you waste your time and money. Send those women home without dinner if you can.
@@johnhein2539Men like you will say things like this and then whine about women who sleep around too quickly/'have high body counts'.
You have no integrity/consistent values. You just want to shit on women.
Btw, a woman being 'sent home without dinner' because she won't sleep with a man is dodging a bullet. He is disrespecting her. He also does not have that much sway over her life. If dressed up, she she can decide to stay out
He’s spot on. Think about a 6/10 in your life. Think about how you talk to her. Treat the hottie the same way. It’s legit hard.
Great advice as per usual.
Perfectly presented as usual!
My experience is that things work better when both parties are interested and pursue one another. Not just one person chasing the other. Mature people do not play games and are upfront. If they are going to walk they were going to walk anyways. What seems to have worked best for me and my bf is: 1) we were friends first then became best friends for over a year 2) We have shared values 3)No sex before marriage (if you want to see eachother clearly don't involve sex) 4)Honest and open communication.
Cultivate virtues and you'll have an exceptional relationship. There are no short cuts in dating.
How attracted were you to him when you first met though?
@@lamentate07
I thought he was cute and I had developed a crush on him. He was attracted to me too. Now, I'm very attracted to him. He now says, guys don't want to be in the friend zone but it's actually where you should be (at first).
I think for men, it also helps you to keep you out of entanglements with crazy women and gives you more control (which I think even Orian and other dating coaches miss or don't say bc they don't want to lose their audience for saying don't include sex upfront while dating).
(I know you didn't ask for this extra info but I'll give it anyways). We had dated other ppl and dated the "normal" way which did not work out for either us. We were both in relationships we should not have been in. We had even discussed with eachother about other ppl we were dating. He started to mention that he wanted to date me and take me out. I accepted.
@@lillyCfieldsWell, if you were attracted at first, that is a different story. You may have had him (unconsciously) on the back burner, waiting in the wings, or perhaps he felt the same about you and timing eventually went in your favour. Thanks for sharing.
As for your point about crazy women, there is a lot of truth to it, but I think guys that attract these women tend to have other problems as well. Usually self esteem issues and/or a 'defective' physical appearance that limits their options (i.e. in my case, lack of height and a heavily receding hairline, but I also have self esteem related problems too). When a nice looking woman pursues us, it's difficult to resist. My last entanglement basically sent me to therapy. In fact, I cannot think of a 'normal' relationship I've had where the woman was the pursuer.
Rushing into sex is rarely a good idea, and I really dislike the increasingly popular idea that a woman doesn't 'desire' you if she 'delays' sex.
@@lamentate07
Thank you for sharing as well. Timing did work in our favor. Had we dated when we were younger we definitely wouldn't have appreciated eachother.
You're right about the self esteem issues. I had/have (although work will always be in progress) them as well. That was a big reason I was dating men who were not good for me. I thought I was going to be single for the rest of my life. I came up with a mantra I can't help how I look but I can help who I am. I decided that I would the things that would give me a fulfilling life with or without someone. Even when I was in relationships I shouldn't have been in I still felt lonely. I knew deep down that I would be miserable in the relationship and also it wouldn't be fair to either of us.
I'm hoping the best for you whether your single or with someone.
@@lamentate07Agreed on all counts EXCEPT for the friends first part. Waste of time, & I always know immediately if there’s strong attraction or not. I don’t know about short cuts, but you can choose quickly. I got together with my late husband just a few weeks after we met. Once we were a couple, things became serious very quickly. We knew we’d marry before the month was out. The more drawn out a relationship, the worse, in my experience. Any hesitation or doubts = no. When you know, you know.
I think your experience would have been more like mine if you hadn’t both been in relationships when you met.
yo
can we have more content for long term relationship plssss ❤❤
or video that shows how to apply your info to long term relationship for no so smart people like me?
I was thinking the same thing. Once I'm in a long term relationship, I assume it doesn't make sense to continue playing it cool for the rest of my life. lol
stop being cool, start being hot 😂
With initial conversation, compare notes on what each of you are looking for.
A lifelong Christian family of 2 to 4 kids? Or another one night stand?
@@fallen546 yeah exactly
@@fallen546it’s very difficult to give someone practical advice on how to make long term relationships work though.. it’s pretty dependent on the person you are either so I think Orion could only give you basic advice that you’d hear everywhere else. But I hear you - I can attract women fairly easily as I can play the game very well but serious relationships are baffling to me.. I’m amazing short term though 🤣
Some valid points worth considering here -and an approach that for many may seem counterintuitive but that can be effective.
i needed this so much
This is a very accurate video. Works every time
No, it doesn't😅
@@Julie-en5lg Allow me to rephrase. "If you are a guy who has worked on himself and made himself someone a woman can be interested in...... this works every time."
You aren't that complicated Julie.
@@zacharyiler136 women aren't a monolith, though, Zachary. One woman might care about looks. One might care about money. One might be more aggressive. One might be more laid back.
The 5ft 6 39yo man can work on himself all he likes. If he approaches 10 beautiful women and thinks they are all going to be interested then he is delusional
@@Julie-en5lg You didn't bother to watch the video I see. In your example the man could approach 10 beautfiul women and 10 middling women and if he acts the same in every instance, should expect the same results.
The point of the video is that women's standards don't go up with their attractiveness, and acting like they do is what most often makes men fail.
No man (sans a few outliers) will walk up to 10 beautiful women and expect every one of them to want him, but if he treats them as though they are just people who are no more interesting or attractive than he is, they will respond in the same manner that all women do. Results will vary, but all women are basically the same bundle of nerves, no matter what they may look like to any guy.
@@zacharyiler136 I disagree. Do Bo and the Psychhack guy have evidence? Devoted demure women looking past the men's looks and singing their praises?
Your example of the two girls at the bar. As soon as you said the 9 was "getting drinks for her friends" immediately said the 6 to approach, is not the looks (being intimidated by it, is a woman one out of billions lol) rather I don't want her friends, that may/may not ruin everything due to envy or jealousy that I am approaching the "hottest" girl in the group, plus in general woman lack empathy when it becomes to this, when it is a group I don’t want to rather risk having them make a scene (cause I know they will).
The hottest chick might be a 6
Speechless! Words cannot describe on how accurate this info is thank ya! 😁