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“Ask her how tall she is. She will give you two numbers.” 🎤: Iliza Shlesinger
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- čas přidán 11. 10. 2022
- Every girl has two heights.
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#CCStandUp #ComedyCentral
I'm 100 IQ, 30 with weed
More like 0 with that garbage
@@DynamiteLs14 lets settle with -30
@@luckybairagi7294 let's settle with negative infinity
I’m one mile, 7 feet, in Denver, with cowboy boots and a ten-gallon hat
One of the funniest analogies I have ever heard lol. I’ve been a fan for a while, keep killing
She'd need to start first.
it was a good analogy at the least but thats it. it didnt come across as a joke to me. other than that i thought it was good
I watched this whole thing like "I recognize that name"... Wasn't until she did that curtsey and funny face I remembered her hilarious show. She scrubs up well in all fairness!
I'm 5 foot seven but if I wear stilts I can be seven foot nine
Yes but what about your girth game? Are you say as thick as a celery stalk but if you concentrate and hold your breath can you go zucchini?
😂😂😂I used to say "tall enough to pick up radio stations!😑" Then they'd run away😂😂
I could never wear heels. Besides the damage, I'm 5'8". I can be 5'6" if I lean on a wall.
Nicole Kidman spent her entire career in Scientology proving that she could have the height stunting hunchback of an ostearthritic 80 yr old woman in a 20 something woman's body. They just want to know if you're short enough in flats not to make them feel small.
You have to stand 16.37 inches away. Just couldn’t help myself.
Iliza is so funny! As a guy, i bet it would be just cool to hang out with her and be the “girl whisperer”
She's so funny. When she use to host that dating show years ago, at the very end she use to crack jokes on the guys that got sent away. I never watched it but I use to dvr a show and it always caught the last minute of her show. She was hilarious.
Funniest female comedian at the now... fucking loves her.
This is why I love her humor 😅
This chick is cute
I love her way of politely beating up females😂
I love her so much. 😆
Been my favorite comedian for a while now.
Out of all the comics in the world, you choose a woman. Neat opinion.
Well said Iilza. Thank goodness for you.
She’s soooo cute!
Comedy gold
I think she's very attractive.
🙄
@@thesupremeveggieburger427 😂😂
Everyone has their likes and dislikes.
She's married
She's good 👍
Women's profiles on dating sites seem to ususaly go one of two ways.
A. "Don't talk to me unless you are __ tall"
B. "Why are you guys all mentioning your height?"
No one talks to her afterwards unless it's a tool aiming to hit and quit.
I mean, if it's one of those two ways than there's no controversy. Girl A is only interested in guys above a certain minimum, girl B doesn't care thus feels weird when she hears all the data.
@@murdanom oh it deffinately makes it look like those guys mentioning it are some kind of red flag from fighting a height insecurity or something. It also could raise a red flag for guys that notice a woman that doesn't know what's going on with online dating.
Nice opening shot.....best view of her...lmao just jokes she is gorgerous and funny as hell...
Her jokes are so firm
She wrote that joke 🤣
I did not see that outfit combo coming 😂
I love this girl! I can say it sucks being 5'4" asian male.
what is that pose
Oh SO TRUE. I've never understood why women always say that. I used to have a comeback to this, I'd tell them I'm, ten feet tall standing on my back deck
Dam shes cute
I feel like she could've gone further with this...
It's like guys saying:
6"
6½ with a pump.
😆
The reason why girls give the second number in heels is so that they can filter out the short guys.
In other words, they want a guy who is at least three inches taller than their height in heels.
Very beautiful
David Spade in his prime
Yeah, the height question is merely an opener. We don't actually care about your height, ladies. We care about your shape.
Isn't it true you can do 90mph on some roads in TEXAS?
Y'all just stop wearing heels
So funny
You were so beautiful
Such a dime piece
🙄
That sent me right to Google. What a great phrase! I also like "mandime"
I'm a 7, a 1 in make up
dude wtf did she do at the end
😍
So funny👀
Women still wear heels. I don't think I've seen a set of heels in like 15 years.
😂
😂😂😂😂😂
How old is this lol
I know she tried hard to not look sexy. She failed.
I think she succeeded.
Solid joke.
I always find it weird that a lot of women see asking them their age is a taboo kind of thing in the western society. How come it's okay to ask for their height but not their age?
I agree lol
Because height isn't an expiration date.
@@maebandy what difference does that make though? Age can play a huge role in dating decisions or just life in general, it's definitely not a "non factor" unlike height. One could say it's more important than height in most situations.
@@someblaqguy sure, I suppose it's no different than asking a man how much money he makes, what his latest sperm count was and what genetic illnesses run in his family.
@@maebandy Exactly. As much as you're trying to be condescending (or at least I assume), ironically the examples you've listed are all plausible questions when finding a partner. Inquiring about a man's financial situation is a good idea for a near infinite amount of reasons, latest sperm count serves as a weird but funny ice breaker with the right person, but is also a plausible question when considering the conception of children and the mental as well as financial challenges you and your partner may have to face in the future if that sperm count were to be low. Hereditary medical conditions can give you a reasonable forecast into the future of your lives together. Cancer, dementia, etc can pose significant hurdles in a relationship and can even affect both individuals on a mental level. It's not a good idea to be short sighted.
damn this woman comedy show got the whole squad laughing 😐
The camera angle from the rear is nice too .
She speaks the truth and seems chill but... not a laugh, not a smile, not a chuckle. I wish I found this as funny as everyone else here in the comments praising her. 🙁
Eat ass you freaking try hard, “speaks the truth”. But if Dave Chappell, or Cris rock, Wanda Sykes(idk who to spell her name) and Marlon Wayans or even Chris Tucker; If any of them said the same joke u would had laugh right?
Same bruh
If it makes you feel any better I watched this 3 times and didn't hear a word she said
That's why there are different genres of music, art, movies and comedy. So you can find those you like and stfu and move on in from those you don't so those that do can enjoy them. Comedy is a form of human healing, go find a comedian that makes you laugh so hard tumors shrink.
@@maebandy you should take your emotions out of it. It makes you look soft. Just as you have your opinions I have mine, the only difference is you're the only one getting emotional.
🍑
That's really funny.
Neither myself nor any of my girlfriends have ever talked about having “2 heights”, ever. And we’ve worn all the heels.
you must be lesbians then ;)
You ladies don't do that to each other. You do it to us!!!
She never looks this pretty on the Joe Rogan Podcast.
It’s the Joe Rogan effect.
I, too, look different talking to my buddy in a room than I do performing for thousands of people on national television.
@@KUROHiTO88 No my comment is a joke. Because when she goes on the Joe Rogan podcast, Rogan makes comments about how she and Whitney Cummings always coming on the show as if they just woke up and rolled out of bed.
@@theylied1776
Ahhhh, word.
“Comedy”
She reminds me of a bartender whose overheard a lot of silly conversations
… and a lot of clueless girls cluelessly missing the point
Chick comedy 😔
Didn't she use the n word on stage?
I hope so
If she did so what. She's a comic. Bad words are almost all they say.
she is fine on all fours or on two.... either way
Yo a female comic joke not about her box 😂😂
No way people think this is funny
No way women think your pickup lines are either but you are either attractive or scary looking enough to garner a chuckle. You only stop to salt another player's game if you don't have one to keep busy with.
is her standing funny the punchline
This is a funny concept….. she should have written it and given it to an actual comedian with timing and delivery.
I'm starting to realize women are funny...
But not white women.
Great joke, bad delivery!
When is the funny part so I can skip to it?
Not funny....
Yeah you know comedy is good when you get applause instead of laughs 😴💤
Since I heard she’s a big Biden fan can’t watch babe
Women comedians are awful. Pete Davidson level of unfunny.
Is this funny? I can at least sorta tell that it’s supposed to be
Why do I keep getting these unfunny women on my CZcams clips???
She’s not funny
I’m sorry is this supposed to be a ted talk?
Is how fast you screw supposed to feel like women just made a wish kid's dream come true? Move on kiddo, this TedTalk won't make sense until past your live by date.
@@maebandy bruh, keep white knighting for her in every negative comment, I’m sure she’ll notice you eventually!
Why can’t I laugh at female comedians?
I try…honestly I do.
cuz you are trying to.
Was that supposed to be funny
Never a laugh from her. I keep trying, but she's not funny.
This is her hottest.
I am trying to find the humor in this
Her comedy is more for ladies.
🤣🤣🤣