How To Outsmart A Narcissist - Don’t Argue Or Fight With Them… Do This Instead | Dr. Ramani
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- čas přidán 25. 06. 2024
- Check out the full interview I did with Dr. Ramani: • How To Deal With a Nar...
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A toddler's tantrum is a part of growing up. An adult's tantrum is a red flag. 🚩
My child even as a toddler never threw tantrums. Toddlers throw tantrums to gain control. They grow up to be the same way.
The key is being able to learn this. There needs to be a return policy. No seriously. WTH are we doing allowing these sick animals to torture and even kill their victims. They are not examining human behavior at the point when they bawled their fists their face turns red and they start screaming shut the f****** because your attempting to talk about your health or anything else they are not comfortable with. This unacceptable.
I have zero compassion for a narcissist. The only way, in my honest opinion, to outsmart a narcissist is to ignore, ignore, ignore and have no contact with them whatsoever. We have a narcissistic brother-in-law, and I've cut him out of my life completely, no contact in six years. Unfortunately my sister is clearly trauma-bonded to him since he can do no wrong.
An ex cousin I had is a hopeless narcissist. She went as far as to steal money from several relatives plus myself. This is what brought us to the point of no return because she began gaslighting and doubling down when busted. Since removing her from my life, it has been much more peaceful. No more texts, phone calls, etc., etc. When she spoke to me at a family reunion, I acknowledged her without saying her name by looking at her for three seconds and saying, "Hey there."
@@texan903😂
@texas903 Bless her heart 😆
i swear my mom is. i refrain from to mch contact. not that i care now as a result she shows up with out calling, or tells me i only care about myself. yup me first for a change so fucking what!? god forbid right?
@@texan903 yup i refuse to be around my sister and refraim from talking to my mom. mom gotten worse.
You know that bad feeling you get when you're watching a scary movie during the suspenseful scenes where everything is quiet and the music is making you feel uneasy even though everything looks "normal" on screen but you just KNOW you're about to see/hear something AWFUL in a few more seconds?
THAT is how you know beyond a shadow of a doubt you are dealing with acold blooded narcissist. They make you feel LIKE THAT.
Yep! This is a great description! Going on holiday with them is definitely like that. Or just being alone with them ...
Oh my this is the best definition I’ve seen and have been there.
But why do people stay then? I know my daughter feels like this but won't leave.
Oh wow how very well put. Married over thirty years and feel perpetually scared. Something bad is either happening now, just happened, or is about to happen. One of the worst sounds in the world to me is the crunch of tyres on gravel that signifies he’s home. click of the key in the lock of our front door makes my heart race and not in a good way. Living with a narcissist guarantees chronic stress. It is a living hell.
@@Kate-to3iq Gosh please leave! You can't live your life like this. A companion should make you feel loved and safe - anything less, just leave.
Don't reward bad behaviour.
I felt like nothing I did worked out in my favour ever.
If I didn't reward the bad behaviour, the abuse got worse until I caved.
I didn't cave ever again after the first time he raised his fist to me. I got support and held my ground and let the police and DV support worker help me and hold him accountable.
It's hard to get out.
But once you are, never look back!
Like the Paul Simon song, "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," "Just slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. Just drop off the key, Lee. And get yourself free!"
🎉❤🎉❤the gambler lol devil went down to Georgia
Music 🎶🎵 to my ears! I grew up listening to these songs 😁. More importantly I grew up and out of narcissist relationships! 🎉 🕯️ 🌞
Don’t have to discuss much - just get on the bus Gus &
SET YOURSELF FREE!
😂👌🏼
You don't outsmart them. Because there is no point in the first place. Exercise your own self compassion to get the energy to move forward rather that concentrate on a negative relationship.
Exactly. Energy flows where attention goes so if you watch narc videos for too long, you’ll marinate in the doom and gloom that is your life. If you are able, and I really emphasize that if you truly are able to get out, focus on moving forward and try to surround yourself with positive people, places and content. Good luck fellow survivors!
That's the point of what Dr Ramani is saying... ultimately her message is about YOU and getting into who you really are as an individual person once removed from a narcissistic abuser. It IS about moving forward and disconnecting from that dynamic, getting yourself back. Your power back. Restoring your own thoughts, heart and goals. It's the focus on you and not burning your energy into that dark abyss of negativity. Hence..... Outsmarting them. The energy is what you put into yourself, by shifting the control back to yourself, thus, defueling them. That's how you win. That is what the message is. Taking YOU back IS outsmarting them.
Wrong! You have to outsmart them if you want them out of YOUR house! I sent mine to Colorado, then had him served with a no-contact order. I got rid of him, a court order prevents him from coming back and the clock started ticking so I could be legally separated to get a divorce. No more violence and no one had to die.
Surviving a narcissist is not "concentrating" on them. It is concentrating on the strategy to survive them.
Oh, we outsmarted the squatters who tried to live next door. There TOTALLY was a point to that.
Being abused is not a way of showing empathy.
2:34 Don’t go DEEP:
🚫 Don't Defend
🚫 Don't Engage
🚫 Don't Explain
🚫 Don't Personalize
It's easy to remember and simple to practice. I have been practicing this technique for years. 😊
it just listening ?
@@virtuous-leeit's not reacting. They thrive on provoking a reaction which they turn around on you and call you over-reacting, too sensitive, stupid etc. react with generic non-reactionary responses like: that's interesting! How nice! What did he/she/they do/say?
@@virtuous-lee For more details, look for this video: "Narcissism and the deep technique"
Leave.
Don't defend, don't engage, don't respond is the best response.
IF you ever outsmart a narcissist, NEVER let anyone know it was you.
Only way to make it stick.
Are you saying don't let the narcissist know you know they are a narcissist?
@@jss2889even friends. Move quietly.
@@jss2889 Yes they will smear campaign you and people will believe that you are the crazy one
Absolutely. Their gynormous ego will never tolerate being publicly outdone. They're consummate losers who always need to 'win'.
@@jss2889letting a narcissist know you're on to them is the surest way to make yourself a target. Never let them know.
How to outsmart them is to not play with them. Period.
It’s very, very difficult when this is a parent.
❤ yes. 6 years no contact and I'm finally getting my life back. My peace and joy.
Try: a parent, an older sibling, and two cousins (who, although not immediate family, are so very aggressive that they intrude in your life as if they were).
Mine is 95 yo helicopter (swear she invented the word) mother and I’m the only child (daughter) who tells me I have memory problems after she asks me a half hour after taking her pills, did she take them. That’s just one daily example. I finally get triggered so much I recognize heart palpitations so I just silently leave while she’s still yammering away.
@jelizabethpetrie6656 may I ask, is there dementia involved or are you describing a narcissistic trait of hers? Honest question. I do not know the situation. It could just be both and if so, might I suggest getting her somewhere that can cater to her needs? You need a break
It's not that hard when you realise that the choice is "them or me" because that's how they made it.
I choose me whenever someone puts me in that situation now.
I'd choose "us" but there is no "us" with a narcissist.
You or them.
Simple.
Im convinced the likelihood of a Narcissist changing is VERY LOW to IMPOSSIBLE.
I keep hearing counseling and therapy. I've paid for it for decades. It provided LITTLE to NO VALUE.
Respect yourself. Care for yourself. Construct boundaries. Forgive others and yourself. Love freely. Manage expectations by communicating. Be physically active and pursue your faith in the God of Heaven (Jesus Christ).
The end of your post is the icing on the cake. I’ll follow with!
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
My adult daughter is a narc. I’ve been going minimum contact since 2019 (due to her having 2 teenage sons)
I can’t fully cut her off. She still blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life.
Blocking her online/calls etc…..has become my only way, so as not to hear her abusive threats and accusations.
I Thank God, that she manages to treat her sons in a decent manner.
Much prayer, has, and will continue to go up to our dear Lord and saviour Christ Jesus for her soul, and of course for her boys.
@savedbygrace8445 Amen. Yes! A life that is reconciled to Him is of vital importance. In this life and in the next life. He is my strength, wisdom and song everyday. ❤️ We need protection from these narcissists and deliverance. May the good Lord continue to deliver you. GBY precious one 💖
They are not going to change. They strive in chaos and meaningless power competition.
@@brianwoo8877 & @Savedbygrace: If you folks don't support or need the mental health support of a professional, then why are you here watching this? It's unfortunate that your situations are tough, but so are many people's. If you don't have interest in the knowledge and experience Dr Ramani and other professionals have to offer and you've figured it out by yourself ...well then great. But don't discount the incredible knowledge this woman has and has provided so many people in need at No Cost. She is a gift. She has healed herself and relates to so many of us. We should find value in that.
Although I agree with your writings of God and His Grace, He also teaches not to judge. Once your "saved" you are not above the rest, we are All here in the same place Because we are all the same to God. You know, so many people go through life as if they know it all, they have it all figured out. But there is only One that has it all figured out. God. And He has put us here To figure it out, so No One goes through this life knowing it all. Hence, learning from others. There is something to be learned from you being here watching and reading this. That's up to you to figure out, just like the rest of us.
Been in therapy and meds for 2+ decades
I've learned more and grown more and recovered more
from these types of gourps, narc channels. Comment sections like right out of my life.
Got more out of In 6 months rather than in 20+ years
Counciling and meds only works if it's works for you.
Many council and med situations have to fit you. Or could easily just make harder or worse even. Speak from experience.
To each their own. Not anti council. But I've had therapists that were worse off than I...can't get help or healing from such lol.
These groups are lit a life saver. Blessings all. Keep up the good self care.
Councilong and meds can make many people worse or just get in the way.
Just walk away
As FAST as you can!!!!
If I could have only one dream come true, that would be it.
I can’t
@@andyanderson6522 of course you can. It's your life. Own it.
@@NIKKISNOODLE find the courage.
After 31 years married to a narcissist I left 11 years ago. I have 2 adult children one a narcissist. My normal one, my best friend, died a few weeks ago. I am disconnected from the other. I have been disabled with ME/CFS for 27 years which has left me homebound and isolated. Only God can help me get through this. I feel it is too late for me now.
My message to anyone in the proximity of a narcissist…run..don’t wait…don’t hope it will change.
I am so very sorry for your loss. God bless you❤
Your message is absolutely correct.
May you surround yourself in gentleness. Nature, passionate hobbies and may happiness become more and more prevalent in your life.
Being severely ill with ME/CFS also makes us so vulnerable to the tactics of a narcissist. Be careful regarding your adult narcissistic child. Possibly go no contact. He will show no mercy. Sometimes being isolated is not the worst thing.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤🙏you can heal from ME/CFS it's caused from narcissistic abuse.
@@Kali-oc1qt Personally I feel it is more of a comorbidity. I do think narcissists sense the vulnerability and target the ill person. Of course the abuse worsens the illness. Just my opinion.
I did the whole one year no dating/sex/etc and I can tell you it was the most healing and libirating thing ever... I've never felt more happy and me than I did after it and still do now a few years further... Best advice ever!! ❤
I'm starting my year of no dating/no sex for a year journey! Looking forward to peace and serenity and forming my support tribe!❤
Living alone is great. I did it for a long time.
I'm also sort of security - obsessed. Kitchen gadgets, sewing gadgets, security gadgets!
They also try to hurt you.
They are complete aware and consious anout what they are doing.
One year after isn't enough for me. I'm going on 3 years since breaking free from the narcissist. I can stay single for the rest of my life after what I have been through.
Remember... Go DEEP with a Narcissist. Don't do these ... Defend. Engage. Explain or Personalize. 2:02
I’ve been in narcissistic long term relationships with 2 different men in my life and I sure would appreciate having a support system like a friend or a family. I hear a lot from videos on CZcams is that it is a necessary thing to have. I have lived a hermit life not by choice for decades now. I take walks but there is nothing around me to much to see. I say hi to passersby when I see someone but that’s about it. I have no vehicle or don’t live near any bus stops but I sure do miss sitting down and having a cup of coffee with someone with a kind and loving perspective on life and others. Well I just wanted to tell a little bit about my life and say hello to others out here on earth like myself anyways. 👋🏼 😊
Im like that as well. Hi there. ☕
Hi
Same here. 👋 If I were in your neigborhood I'd come over with some coffe😊 😊
Read, inspect CZcams, develop mindfulness exercices. Don't give up about yourself. You're worthy of interest and value.
@@Angela-ul9si omgosh Hi ! I can sooo relate. I’ve even called on Siri and asked some random question just to hear a friendly voice. I hope somehow life gets better for you. None of us deserve any of this.
Don;t make excuses for poor behavior.
Yeh this is the thing about the ignore strategy - you're just appeasing/capitulating? Sometimes you have to stand your ground, no matter how uncomfortable.
“If you want to stop a fire, take away the oxygen.” Perfect.
The faster you realize personality disordered people are projecting in everything they say the faster you can stop making what they say about you or anyone else they are also targeting. You know they use projection but aren’t realizing its all the time to everyone they tell you to “love” or “hate”.
Yes working on an inpatient mental ward is helping me now. Babbling narcissists and not engaging. They just keep talking while you stop putting fuel on the fire by NOT saying something back. The conversation is basically Nonsense so looking elsewhere and not speaking makes most sense. I have to say I am surprised how mentally sick some people are. It's tragic
I agree with most of what you're saying but you have to remember that some narcissist will become more provocative if you don't engage. There are ways to de-escalate and neutralize them when they become irate that you don't engage.
@ArtemisSilverBow This is true. Back pedaling is safer than ignoring otherwise they might get more aggressive or even physical if ignored. And they would then work like hell to get your attention and may even put your life in danger.😮
I can avoid the family and random narcissistic people who pop up in my personal life but narcs in a professional setting are actual cancer.
Literally, I'm currently dealing with this and idk how to escape, I'm literally so drained
If You can , always ignore them , no matter what they say ! When You see them somewhere just leave and never look at them
You don’t have to outsmart them !when you see through the mask and really see them for what they are .
There already living in there own delusional type of hell ,
once you see how sick they are you will never see them the same way again.
It’s not a game you can or need to win because you have already won , your not like them
AMEN.N.AMEN..U R RIGHT ON.
I lost a job because I refused to engage. The narcissist ran around spreading lies acting the victim saying I was being mean when I wasn’t even around her.
I've had this too but don't look back x you're free
If you don't engage, they will punish you, threaten you, and make you face consequences. So what do you do in the case when your life is in danger and you are in constant fear of leaving? 😮
Don't be afraid to lose someone. Be afraid of losing yourself.
Took me a year to plan the great escape 🎉❤
I hope the plan works. 🏃♀💨💨
🛑✝️🙏🏾😇😊🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂😅😊✝️
I walked away from my closest friend who was gaslighting me and even with proof she doubled down.
The problem was that we seemed to have the same values: honesty, loyalty, hard-working.. he praised these qualities in me and it took me two decades before I realized that while he praises those values, he doesn’t mean to stick to them himself.
My mom used to try to insult me by telling me I’m just like my father. I started responding with “thank you!”
Then she started telling me my father would have done whatever I was refusing to do. Now I tell her I’m not my father.
My dad was wonderful to me. He died three years ago at 90.
You can't do this if you are in a relationship with one. If they are not getting supply they will demand it. Once you stop engaging with them they will discard you. Which isn't a bad thing.
I am at a point where I wish he would just discard me...
I can't wait until the narcissist discards me😂 meaning to just go away 😂
You're right. 15 yrs into marriage I gave up. I was pleasant, continued with marital expectations (such that they were cause the hubby withheld sex as a power play). I stopped giving him hurt, tears, begging to spend couple time w/ him, initiating conversation. Answer pleasantly when spoken to. Stupid me thought I'd coast until the children were grown. Next thing I knew he was having an affair & I was DONE & thrilled to be. He seemed to think it would inspire a girl fight over him. 😂😂😂
@@pinkpill5355 My dear, if you are in a relationship with one, you need to start planning now. My biggest mistake from being in a relationship with one of these people for 25 years is, you think you know them. You think you know what they will do in ever situation. However, you only know the regulated version of them. The version that gets their necessary supply levels. The other version is very, very unstable. Once you see that version or as they say, once you see behind the mask, you will never forget it. They are capable of anything and I do mean anything. You are living with a person that isn't complete. Realize that you are not just in a very bad situation, you are in a very bad situation that is also, very very dangerous. I know this for sure. We think they are very strong, well put together people with great life skills that just are extremely difficult to get along with at times. No. That is the regulated version. That is the mask. They are very, very fragile little children that is very very dangerous when unregulated. Understand this. Your life may depend on this.
Replacing the narcissist toxic relationship dynamics and patterns with a new healthy one is gold.
I found that but the narc tries soo hard to stop that so i can stay in the same exact misery of his circle through truama bonding. Its fascinating.
Replacement is the biggest option.
Its like relearning what normal and healthy and safe is all over again. 😅
She’s right but the more you believe that you can’t leave the narcissist the more you really should seriously consider leaving them. But be safe. They can be very dangerous. If you can’t physically leave as in getting a divorce you still can put distance between you and him or her. Find wholesome things to do with friends colleagues family members hobbies creative projects such as painting writing poetry restoring a classic car get into drag racing (the legal kind ) sailing your yacht around the world climbing Mount Everest….And add to this the use of gray rock. Just be extremely boring to them and spend very little time around them. Have honest good fun and be happy living your best life in spite of them.
Excellent Suggestions !!
Translation - Go Live The Life That Is In our Hearts !!
I pray that i can secure a low income apartment soon. Where i can walk to the grocery store nearby and leave the awful situation im in. I am a senior ( 58) with medical conditions. ( retired poor nurse) i cannot stay where i am. I pray that i can have my own little 1 bedroom place for my own and find some part time work im able to do. I have CLL with other conditions and my current living is abusive by family. Probably bf too. I just want my own again. I have been to my doctors and they are aware. They see my health going down. Then my children and grandchildren are able to visit, there wont be a problem. Thank God they live in a better state than where i am and our love is unconditional ❤️ but the others in the family, grandparents, uncle, aunt, dont have to see them. We can enjoy each other. Thats very important to me and being ME
Mobile Van ■ some seniors design a van to live and travel; it may give the opportunity for one to enjoy life freely. M
I wish you the best
having compassion for the narcissist? That is a huge misstatement Doug Why should we?
Dr Ramani is so right with her advice. Plan your exit strategy with a narc carefully, they are unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. Ideally don't enter into a relationship with a narc in the first place. They are bad news, and will NEVER change.
Rat droppings trail ■ their pattern of operation in darkness; they keep the same route until you close off their entry. M
" breathing space lets us individuate"..... brilliant
I live next door to my sister the narcissist. I bought my childhood home after I became disabled based on her promises her husband would help me keep the property up. That lasted two summers. She then wanted to charge me. She NEVER has enough money. That's why she made that promise....if I bought the house, she would get her share of the $ faster. Then she started borrowing money from me to file bankruptcy, her third. After a few years of borrowing from me every few months I said no. The gates of hell opened up.
Sell the house, cut off contact and move somewhere else where you can have help. Even if you have to pay for it.
@@marygoodson4920 yep, it’s a sellers market right now. But not for long! I’m holding onto my home next to my narcissistic sibling only because she and her hubby are so physically unhealthy. And I’m very patient. I gray rock them. Narcissists are essentially cowards. The most important thing is to take really good care of yourself. The best revenge is a great life! 😊
I outsmarted mine and called him out. You are smart doc but I never back down from a fight!
If someone tries to gaslight me Narcissist or not I just call them out by saying Don't try to gaslight me,
Most of the time they shut their mouth when I let them know I know the game they are playing,
Me too. ■ M
Good approach - I agree. Narcissists are basically just bullies and, like most bullies, they crumble when full-on confronted with strength.
Best thing I did was walk away from a narc. 9 months of abuse. I left the narc in Nov 2023 and now on the path of healing.
The incoming message after leaving a toxic relationship is such an adrenaline rush. It's best to take cover and block. ❤😊
Your topic today has spoken to me in ways my four years of research and videos has not not. The fast twist of our relationship, the dismissiveness, entitlement, gaslighting, talking negatively about EVERYONE especially those in my circle blah blah etc etc…I have been in this MESS for 40! Years but didnt realize it until five years ago. Before then, I thought it was me. If I could be prettier , be a better cook/housekeeper (he calls me his squaw), earn more money etc. but then I researched and saw that internal happiness is always out of his reach. He will never catch the brass ring and frankly I’m tired of being the cheerleader…so tired…Thank You! Lots to think about…🙏
A narc doesn't care whether you have empathy or compassion for them...that's the bottom line. You're just trapping yourself if you do that. They can fake it or use it but that's all. So don't even bother. That's one of the reasons why a narc is so infuriating to a caring normal human being.
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb 💡? None.
They gas light 🔥
That's a WICKed reply!
This is so true. I lived it.
Get out. Life is so much better and safer and more free and nurturing the soul. Don’t stay as long as I did. 8 years. Life is wonderful since I decided to get out! I live 650 miles apart now and it’s the best feeling in the world!!!
Get out!!!!!
Thank you Dr Ramani. This is so good. Once your out, you need detox time. Then you need to exam the crime seen of your life to not repeat it. Slowing down to resurrect who you really are from the ashes!
That’s so true.. “you don’t know yourself “/“you don’t even know what you want on your pizza”. I grew up with multiple narc family members that would try to tell me everything and I would not get to be myself.
Ive experienced this First hand from.Father and Siblings
My older brother kept telling me I dumb and stuipt
When i was five , he pushed me into a roaring fire .
Everything I tried to acheve he abd other subkings set out to destory or stael everything i have , Even to the point of Framing me , so i was denied .
They shut me out of the Fanily , refuse to talk to me after all the Harm they have caused me .
My mother said to your brothers are jelious of you ?
I have nothing, they are all very rich .
One of sister said to me
We wanted you in a body bag "
That freeked me out , I could write a book on that sister criminal activities, let alone my father and siblings .
Recently they influenced my girlfriend of many years to break up with me , posioning her family and friends againts ne , My girlfriend is using the same tactic on me they are using. Coventry
Truth will come out ut in the end
I'm sorry to hear this. Stay strong. They see something in you they wish to be. They have no soul and want yours. They are soulless..
not only lying versus gaslighting, but challenging versus gaslighting. EVERY NARCISSIST ACCUSES EVERYONE ELSE of gaslighting because their victim has confronted them (“destabilized their sense of things”), & they often go NC.
I think learning about stoicism can be helpful. Just old wisdom on how to respect yourself
What you can control and what you can't
i told the narcissist to leave my home..after 3 years living together..living with constant highs and lows, constant gaslighting and just pure torment. I then proceeded to change all my locks, change all passwords to alarm, garage etc. I blocked their emails, phone, phones of friend and family and went ZERO CONTACT..it was the only way to rid myself of chaos.
I told my sister in law please don’t call here anymore!
It really is the only way!
Every time u wanna explain - Do Not! Every time u doubt ur self - Do Not! Every time u want to be understand is their trauma - Do Not! Everything u wonder if anything could be different - Do Not! Every time u hope things would be different with the engagement - Do Not!
It doesn't matter what you do, you can give everything, be silent, don't react, give more, set boundaries...it's a life not worth living and will eventually destroy you physically emotionally and spiritually the only way to live a meaningful life is to leave for good.
"They had a rough childhood." If that's what's driving the behavior, _get_ _out_. They won't change. Go right ahead and have compassion, but don't let compassion fool you into sticking your head back into the bear trap.
Dr Ramani please talk about narcissists and not wanting to make wills when they have a large amount of assets. My husband won’t make a will and also is always saying that our only child will get nothing every time my son doesn’t do what he says. My son is grown and has his own life. My husband expects him to drop everything and leave work when my husband can’t do something on the computer
My mother used to expect me to leave work and drive all the way across the city to bring her a Tylenol.
At some point, I figured out that telling the narc, "I'll try." or "if I can" or "if I have time" when secretly I have already decided it is a definite NO, freed me from having to come up with a lie later.
There are very few true leaders in an industry. Dr Ramani is a pioneer in this area of psychology. She has the compassion and the knowledge to educate, help heal and refocus people. I appreciate your incredible contribution to all of us because so many people cannot even afford proper mental health support, and you are amazing and so kind to help everyone by offering your knowledge and guidance. Thank you.
Great video, so well done Doug.
I WISH I had taken a year off after the 20 years I was involved with the narcissist. I did wait a year and a half after our breakup, but he was still in the house, he was making it a toxic, protracted, super painful divorce. And people kept urging me to start dating. I ended up going into a relationship that I knew was wrong for me and again folliwed my pattern of staying in it too long.
I see the lying or gaslighting, but others might be believing the stories that are being said behind my back. Whichever it is I still have a job to do given the hand I was dealt. I don't believe it though - I was there.
Having had a narc mother and sister who were physically, verbally, emotionally (and sexually as my sister would pimp me out to her male friends), then working with drug and alcohol addicted people, I am sooo done.
Dr Ramani is so tuned in to this...she's wonderful...how well she articulates the whole syndrome of narcissistic abuse. ❤️
Dr. Ramani is amazing, I could listen to her for ever 👏👏👏👏!
Uh huh... Was told I was "too old to be vain" sometime ago.. I gave a little giggle and said "Maybe, but I don't spend ages with photo shop filters" .. Complete silence... Practice but try to detach and see it as a podcast not personal like the wonderful Dr Ramani has just explained so well.. Thank you Doug too.
I’m dealing with this with a online bible study group. Didn’t like some of the things that were being said, so I left. The online criticism of my character on CZcams started.I didn’t response. So now the leader of the group is texting me,we miss you, how are you, how’s your family.Holy Spirit feel is saying don’t engage. My experience with narcissists is they accuse you of the very things they are guilty of
Planning is everything in leaving. Keeping them and the flying monkeys out of the loop is vital. Prepare for the worst just so nothing is a surprise. My narc's exit went smoothly and he thought he was leaving me vs being shown the door. He started harrassing after but police gave me some good advice and it stopped.
Have grate gratitude that you are not in it anymore. Listen to you body it's screaming the symptoms. They will definitely make you stronger in yourself after the healing.. Good luck and have faith that you can do it..
She’s so right, after I left he came after me for years
It was hard and bad but in the end he finally left me alone cause I changed, I had my own life and confidence back and all his stuff he said to me didn’t work, so he moved on finally in 2015 , I got divorced in 1987 and it was so hard but I won my freedom, I did learn not to date for a long time and had to stop what people was telling me to do
You are so right
I've built so much resentment towards my covert narcissist partner, that I've become the narcissist 😢😢😢
I used to have compassion.
Now i have to be careful i don't become evil towards them.
I have a coldness.
If he tried to come near me, i know that if the cold did not drive him away I'd likely become very cruel.
I will never be cold or cruel to myself again for the comfort of someone who secretly (or not so secretly) hates and despises me. Ever.
Wow, this is an eye opener. Recently dissolved a many year relationship over all of these symptoms. I didn't know it was narcissistic. I fell into all of the traps. Thank you for making me realize.
Sure makes it easier going forward. That question mark that was always over your head, like what the??? FINALLY !! The answer! Because it is a crazy messed
up thing! Always trying to analyze, why is this happening. They drive you crazy. Just having all this info helps greatly recovering and healing. At least it did me!
Thank you for helping me feel supported in this hell that I am living with a narcissist. I’m at my limit after 20 years
There should be an extraction team like navy seals or something but for people who want to get out of these relationships.
What a great interview.
They Sabotage your life
And they literally don’t care if they destroy their own while they’re doing it
It’s lying about lying
2:17 Thank You 🙏🏼 Dr Ramani ♥️
Love Dr Ramani , she’s a wonderful lady and has helped me personally more than she’ll ever know. Thank you Dr Ramani.
Great bio testimony. Dr R is the best.
Glad to have found your channel, handsome and insightful...? Subbed ✨️
Narcs put more focus on a bad reaction than the ice cold sociopathic behavior that led to the reaction. I have a friend that does not care one bit what my family has done to me. It completely bores and bothers him to hear about it. Yet he will correct me for my preferences and ways of doing things. These are things that are not harming people but just a part of my beliefs. If my mom committing adultery to him is inconsequential then why do I get questioned and berated when I can’t make Christmas for example. His policy is who cares for everyone else but for me it’s this impossible standard and he is always pointing out something.
You have a friend?
You HAD a friend. You don't need enemies with a "friend" like this.
Thank you, Dr. Ramini.
Thank you Dr Ramani for this education as this is fundamental for my health and wellbeing. God bless. ❤
He told me I was crazy or childish if I questioned his lies!
I can turn off my emotions. Sometimes I even go into my own little void. The narc will chill a bit but .. start poking! Freaking emotional predators!! Dr Ramani absolutely rocks, mind saver.
As soon as you aproach to then they premeditate the damage they will trough on you. I see them in a lot of people here.
Gray rocking. I learned this from Dr. Ramani.
😂❤well said !!! 5:36 thank you we can have compassion with people and disengage from them
Shes Amazing!
Do you have any videos on a disabled person having to live with siblings? On my channel we are starting a series using horse and dog therapy to help the trauma. Thank you for your excellent advice ❤
It’s hard when you have children. Gotta play the long game
My opinion, you’re just teaching your children how to be in a dysfunctional relationship.
Leave now before he turns the children against you.... and worse, turn them into narcs
You don't think it will happen... but it will
To those who don't see it? I sometimes say, if only to myself, "maybe they are onto something, and it's not working for me".
Face it these toxic people are just mean they are led by a evil spirit they have a split personality they can be nice when they want something from you if you say no about anything all hell break loose there is no win with these people best for every one is go your separate ways there will never be peace with toxic people in your life you can do good by yourself Jesus Christ in their life is their only hope sign Cynthia Smith
Really good advice
Yikes! What if your boss is a narcissist? He tends to gaslight everything I tell him about problems with other co-workers.
I just cut my ties with a narcissist who gaslighted me but accused me of gaslighting them. I had set my boundaries and they simply broke them. They played victim and blamed me for everything. I knew I could no longer be in a relationship with this person and cut off all contact. Still, I had my trauma because of my emotional investment and the shock of what just happened. The pain is still raw, and I’ve been looking for advice everywhere to make me get better. It doesn’t help that I have bipolar disorder and I'm in a critical period in doing my research for my PhD. I strongly hope I'm not going to breakdown and I can get back to function normally as soon as I can.
Dr Ramani is wonderful. She helped me a lot. Thank you Dr R. 💕😊
Sometimes you have to work with Narcissistic people so you can’t just walk away, disengagement is good advice also stepping into your own power and your own gifts.