Three stages of healing narcissistic abuse
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- čas přidán 9. 01. 2024
- Narcissistic abuse is an undeniable crisis. Discover Healing, Empowerment, and Authentic Living...
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The Royal We has helped Millions to escape the grip of narcissistic abuse. Here’s a deeper look into what narcissistic abuse looks like and steps to heal from it:
Narcissistic abuse looks like:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often show little to no empathy for others, making it easy for them to manipulate and exploit. Narcissists use various tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and devaluation to control and dominate their victims.
Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:
Gaslighting: Making the victim doubt their own reality and sanity.
Love Bombing: Showering the victim with excessive attention and affection to gain control.
Devaluation: Undermining the victim’s self-worth through criticism, belittling, and emotional neglect.
Isolation: Cutting the victim off from their support systems to increase dependency on the abuser.
Triangulation: Using others to create jealousy or competition, keeping the victim feeling insecure.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
How to begin healing from narcissistic abuse:
Understand that you have been enduring narcissistic abuse. This awareness is the first step toward healing.
Get Help:
Work with The Royal We to get the tools to understand and process your experiences. Visit - www.jointheroyalwe.com
Establish No Contact or Low Contact:
Limit or completely cut off communication with the narcissistic abuser. This helps you gain emotional distance and begin your healing journey.
Rebuild Your Self-Esteem:
Engage in activities that boost your confidence and self-worth. Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who value and respect you.
Educate Yourself:
Learn about narcissistic abuse and its effects. Knowledge is empowering and can help you recognize patterns and avoid future toxic relationships.
Practice Self-Care:
Prioritize your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a healthy diet, adequate sleep, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to your recovery.
Set Boundaries:
Develop and maintain healthy boundaries in all your relationships.
Connect with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse. Join The Royal We Support Group - theroyalwe.kartra.com/page/ynE48
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TRANSFORMATION!!!!!!!!! I got there by clinging to JESUS!!!!!! He took me there one tear at a time!!! No validation from anyone. GOD BLESS YOU KEVIN❤. .
Divine intervention
I love this comment. You are spot on.
Amen ❤️
Yes, divine❤❤❤ intervention!
"Jesus is taking me there one tear at a time" BEAUTIFUL!!! I am wondering when it's going to end. "It's like we are different creatures" It's just sad...
From slave to slayer.
A beautiful butterfly.
I owe it all to Jesus Christ.
35 years of introspection, 1 year of validation, just entering transformation! And Jesus has been my rock!
I am a survivor. Getting through over 42 years of abuse from my toxic family and still being alive, not an addict or in prison is a miracle. I got validation from you over a year ago, watched hundreds of hours of videos, did a Bible study and journaled daily. I never even realized I had the choice to go no contact. I no longer second guess myself, just laugh out loud at myself for being so silly for so long, not seeing what is obvious in front of my face, they hate me and want to destroy my life.
There's also the phase of grieving in my opinion, i'm on that phase, grieving everything that happened to you and have been stolen from you
We grieve ourselves. Where did we go? They changed us completely
Then go get your grove one !!❤
The last stage should be Transcending. Where you learn to not be naive anymore and easily recognise future narcs and trust your own gut. This stage really is good place to be in
No more constant guilt second guessing not good enough no projecting manipulating controlling just peace and it feels a thousand Pounds lighter
Im so sick of hearing "But thats your mother...thats your sister"...I simply HAD to.
We understand 100%
❗️
Thank you. Anger is the push that sends me into the next phase.
People keep telling me anger is bad. Nope, anger is the push I need for freedom.
Then I turn that anger into boredom, and then turn that boredom into peace.
Yahoo! Peace is the most exciting thing ever.
This is accurate. 60 years later. Knowing my mother was a cruel control freak, knowing my ex used me, but never getting the validation kept me trapped. So sad, all the years of struggle, but to finally hear someone say, “You are a loving, generous person. You are the whole package , and you deserve better.” I hope that you too find the support that will give you your freedom.
I just love your male perspective on healing. Divorcing a narc husband of 19 years, Im entering my butterfly 🦋 stage. It’s comforting listening to a healthy man encourage us. You are the best that I’ve listened to. Thank you for your brilliance and I’m so glad I found your channel ❤
All I will say is I dared - and I won. Many many years later I see it all. I have been through hell but I will never forget what I learned there..
Ohh honey I'm 4 years post discarding my narc and living free and peaceful without that parasite around my neck. There is life after narcissist abuse. Find the strength, live it, love it and most importantly love yourself ❤❤❤
Trying to learn how
I am flip flopping between introspection & seeking validation. The isolation is excruciating right now. These videos are helpful.
Isolation is so painful
JESUS knew it well. How isolated did he feel? He felt abandoned by his father, people who first loved him then hated him. The disciples were lost in space. The pharasees wanted to kill him. WOW!!!! We take part in his suffering.❤
Wish therapist were more aware of narcissistic abuse and its ramifications. Great video!
I’m about to enter the phase 3. What a liberation! ❤ Goodbye to my mother in law after 22 years. Let God to save her!
🤗
I walked in love forgiveness forever. What I suddenly realized was there were no consequences for the other person. That is what they wanted. No responsibility, not being accountable for any of their actions. When I started treating them how I was treated, they got upset. They soon disappeared out of my life. I was a bit surprised by the reaction, when I was expected to accept it. Come On !
You are a powerful truth-teller. Thank you for helping others free themselves from abuse.
I was stuck in the relationship 28 years, now divorced 5 years and I'm just starting to find myself again
Married 24 years, divorced now for 7 years. Every day I am healing more…what a journey to love me again. Take care.
You guys give me hope 🙏❤️ Thank You!
26 years bf Jesus took him away
I’ve read nearly every self help book since my late teens trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Turns out, after many decades, I’m human. I thought it was codependency to addiction,(partly), too sensitive(I am sensitive), bonded thru trauma, just plain neurotic…finding out about narcissistic abuse explains it. Period. The last 6 months have been all about validation. I’m ready to transform.
😊❤ 🦋
Don’t forget to ask Jesus to transform you! Save yourself the impossible task.
I'm surprised I don't have brain damage from all the games and emotional trauma from 26 years with a psychopath. Not being funny, I truly believe he is.
I'm old but wish my stroke would of erased all negative narcissist family. Moved out at 17 married a narcissist I'm 60 now dought there time to heal tossed away like trash 😢
@@cynthiahughes5504
There is always time.
I, too, moved out at 17.
First husband was toxic, not sure if he is a narcissist, but was immature and toxic for sure.
The second one was a covert narcissist I spent 26 years with and he almost killed me. I almost died 3 times within 13 years.
I am 65 and am just focused on me now.
Hang on... there are new healing technologies coming that will heal you.
I need healing too. I have lung issues and nerve damage in my feet so bad I can hardly wear shoes.
Good things are coming. Big pharma will come down.
We will have a flat tax.
We will be abundant.
Change the way you think and change your life.
Kevin, this message means a lot to me. I went through the first 2 phases, now I am on the 3rd phase. I am truly feeling like I am in a cocoon getting prepared by Divine power to bust out. I did not know there were phases, even though I have been going through them. You made me aware. Thank you and stay well
I heard about narcissism, studied it, tried grey rock method, confirmed the abuser was out to get a reaction out of me then went no contact. Simple.
Who else here had the most peaceful Christmas 😅
I didn't, I was triggered so many times. However this time around I knew what I what dealing with...
I did! It was my second Christmas. I love Jesus
@@walkaminutewithme4787 I love Jesus too ❤️ 🙏 🙌
@karabomoalusi8810 It takes time, self love and lots of forgiveness ❤️
Yes!
It took me a long time to stand up for myself. I finally learned how to say no. I loved these people who seemed to always put me down so it was very hard for me to defend myself but I did it and I knew it wouldn't go well and it made me sad to lose them. After they were gone, I went into introspection and realized that how they treated me was mean with no respect whatsoever. They said and did things to me I would never do to anyone. My introspection lead to my validation. I've always treated other people the way I want to be treated and if they can't be nice, I don't need them. I am much happier these days doing things I enjoy, no pressures, no drama, it's wonderful. I wish I had done it a long time ago. It would have saved me a lot of stress. I have just begun my transformation and I look forward to 2024 and to being the best me I can be. Thank you Kevin for helping me see the light! 😁
God made you, you are valuable not the value others do not give you but the value God has for you, you have a calling and many gifts to bring light to this world and the devil and his helpers hate that.
Amen!!! 🙏🕊️💖
I've been actively seeking help since 2005. Completed 4 programs, quit several others. I learned more in the past 2 years than everything combined since cptsd knowledge is so available. I even had therapists & psychologists shut down when i tried to explain myself. I'm also glad i never stuck with medication, I've made more progress without it. I'm so grateful for these communities ❤❤
Good man the cure for brain damage by narcissists is learning too get the devil out of your mind medication doesn’t cure that sickness
100% agree with you!!! Same with me ❤
This is such a good video. I just went no contact. I didn't realize it but I had been looking for permission to leave too. God is so good, He says, avoid those who cause divisions... ". This bible verse helped me realize that God is saying, "leave".
I’m in transformation and perhaps transformed. I’m finally thinking less and less about the abuse and just living my life.
Yes, this is much to heal from. Being awakened and healing is 🔑. NPD isn’t a fun situation, it’s a terrible thing to go through, nobody should ever have to go through that, have a great day today, in JC name, 🙏.
35 yrs of mental abuse and abandonment and I cry and still love him. I ask myself why I can't deal with the heartache or strength enough to divorce him. My heart hurts bad
I will tell you exactly what pushed me out of my tremendous heartache and all the tears…it was a realization of one thing!
Set aside the abandonment and the mental abuse for just a few minutes and take a walk with me to the past when you first met. Did this person not sweep you off your feet and you felt THE most amazing connection you ever felt? You will learn as you keep acquiring knowledge about narcissism that a narcissist will transform into the person you desire in order to cultivate their supply. In other words, they were like a chameleon able to transform into the colors of what your heart and sole longed for. It was ALL fake! Immediately, with the realization it was faked in order to trap me much like scam artist phone calls trying to get your money, only much worse as this dug deeper into your heart, it is easy to no longer grieve this person as they never existed in the first place. Being in love with ‘someone’ who never existed catapulted me forward as there was no person to grieve over loosing. It was then I began to look at what set me up to be attracted to such an individual and fooled SO badly. You are a highly sensitive, loving and giving individual who was taken advantaged of…however, I promise you that you are not alone in this. There are many of us who have walked in these shoes before you….some of us by months and others of us by years. The pace is set by the individual over how you go. Though it may not seem like it right now, there is a MUCH better life beyond this day where you are right this minute. Those of us ahead of you can share that, reach our hand out to you, and help lift you back to standing. Don’t give up! You will be SO MUCH better an individual than before this with the added plus of healings you may never have known you needed that will make for the brightest future you could ever imagine.
Ephesians 6:12....1 Corinthians 13...without Love there is no Life deeply felt and genuine and authentic... stay strong ❤ Resist the devil and he will flee..and of course we do not fight flesh and blood...
I would be out with my kid if it weren’t for financial abuse along with narcissistic… I just needed to hear God wouldn’t be mad at me. I knew He wouldn’t because Jesus came to set us free. Our Father doesn’t want us to live this way. It took me a year to understand that but it was nice to hear. Thankful for ya bud
I turned from a Christian to a pagan spiritualist and finally gathered the strength within me to leave my abusive husband of 17 years, just 2 days ago. I am physically sick and weak and tired. Sleeping for 2 days now and I don't like it. Meditation and grounding helps a lot.
Please don't go back. It gets so much worse. So much worse. I'll pray for you 🙏
I left in 2019 invested over 7 years married less then a year as once married it got real bad . Then it took an additional 2 years to understand the importance of no contact . Fwd to 2024 i have gone thru all these stages and can indentify with everything said . I have a whole new life but it does take a long time , im in a relationship now thats based on the RIGHT THINGS , honesty and integrity . A person whos words match there behavior ,, it took time to get familiar with healthy boundaries and a man being healthy enough in his own life that he respects my boundaries , he values the Right Things as i do . But for some reason not often but at times my mind tries to ask myself why i stayed so long referring to my past . Im very embarrassed of my past and what i tolerated for so long knowing today i wouldnt tolerate that for 5 min . Im still in counseling and its helped tremendously.
Is there a grieving n mourning phase ? Ive been feeling so sad at how much time n love i put into a lie. It feels like a death what phase is this? Thank you so much for all the awareness you bring about abuse from narcs❤ love to all healing from being hurt by a narcissist,we survived!! We will thrive🎉
Your ❤will break so much from finally realizing you were living a life of lies. It's part of your transformation. Keep going. 🙏
Kevin, love ya man. Thank you for the insight.
It’s been 3.5 years since I went no contact with my mom. I very recently started sleeping again. I’ve also been having dreams which I haven’t in years. I’m also having moments of intense anger, breaking down in tears, but also beginning to experience emotions, creativity and also remembering stuff that I evidently blocked out the few years prior to no contact.
To anyone who’s reading while struggling. Get away from these narcissistic people if you can. Go no contact. Find a good community of believers at church who are safe and will walk with you. Find a good therapist. Journal. Try to do things you enjoy. Give yourself permission to stay home and do whatever you want even if that’s sleep all day. And give yourself grace.
This healing journey isn’t something you can force or fast forward. But remember you’re not alone and healing/ recovery is possible.
Definitely agree with your description of those three phases. Between the end of Introspection and before Validation i found to experience a lot of grief. This grief turned into a short period of anger before i learned acceptance. I would personally say though, that Transformation is perhaps still a lifetime process. You are still learning your own boundaries and your own values in which to look for those who have similar. I had no problem with the challenging hurdle of isolating and cutting many off as i knew this was long overdue and much needed. I perhaps may not lead an action packed life now, but I'm finding contentment and peace knowing i've closed the door to anyone whose values don't align with my own.
Love your no BS, practical approach. Not ready to stop watching your videos yet, but you help a lot.
Finally at the transformation phase after 20 years 🦋
When I was (almost) devastated by the pastor's narcissistic wife:
Introspection: lasted about 3 years
Validation/permission: gave this to myself and left the church
Transformation: took 4 years of intense loneliness and re-evaluation BUT is now the best place I am in!
5 yrs and counting.. Sorry still watching.
6 years for me
I lost count .
5yrs. 👍👏
I'm too embarrassed to say.😄
@@steadypace1262 don’t be! You’re outta there; that’s what matters!!!🙏👏❤️
This is what I needed to hear..and it arrives in a good time 😊
Kevin ❤
Thank you for this. So many CZcams therapists seem to tell you what's wrong but don't tell you what to do about it. I'm ready for transformation by I'm financially stuck in an abusive living situation. Trying to set boundaries and praying for strength 🙏
You will be free. Save money & Write your exit strategy plan. 💜🙏
Yesterday I learnt from Kevin that boundaries are actions we take not our words and pleas. Save your breath! Show them don't talk!
Thanks to channels like yours, I got the permission I needed. I'm in transformation ❤
3. Transformation ❤🥰☀️🌈No need validation🙅🏼♀️🌞🗽🏆💃 I am me 🐛🦋 I am free🪄👑🔓
"NO" 🙋🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ H'asta la vista🥳🎉
"YES" to myself, my health, my life, my dreams 🥰💝
So proud 🤗
Thanks
I can relate on the part "oh keep praying for him, keep waiting, we all have our own crosses to carry, keep bearing the abuse. The church members does more damage than helping. So sad 😞 that the very people that you think will understand you, they end up judging you. The church needs to be more equipped and wise. 😔
“Introspection begins the moment you enter the toxic relationship”. Such a simple and profound truth. Looking back on my relationship (which is now over) with an aunt and cousins, I can now clearly see how covertly narcissistic they were- always projecting their ideologies, questioning me, disagreeing with me…they were always superior, but it was done in “love” of course and with that pressure of “we should always be changing and growing to become like Christ”… but it was their ideas. I was always introspecting around them! Whew! They could never validate that I trusted my inner knowing and truth. Always had me questioning myself. I feel so free now being out from under their watchful eyes.
You are so right!
Golly.
Thank you.
I'm transforming.
Didn't know I should be getting permission... Been doing a lot of praying, reading, Learning to be my own friend.
On my way...wings unfurling.
You are so right.
Thank you.
Yes, Kevin, so true. Thank you for your work. I am finally transformed. One unbelievable journey. The hardest thing a person will ever do. Only with God's help have I survived. Praise The Name of Jesus...
Thank you Kevin...
This is so true. I am 17 years in. I spent most of it in introspection just two years ago when my narc husband's mom moved in with mine and she experienced the same exact things with my mil, right before my eyes, that validated what I was going through and that it was outside myself. I have been slowly and purposefully transforming into or towards the things I used to love and/or identify myself with. Last week I had a really bad panic attack and decided I am leaving and not putting myself through it anymore. I don't totally know what that looks like yet, because he is a sabotager but it has been a relief just knowing that I have a plan. I usually catch myself holding my breath and my jaws tight.
Love your videos Kevin! You describe complex things in such an understandable way.
Now I have names for the 3 phases I've gone through.
I couldn't commit to no contact/transformation until I was sure God had given me permission. I can be a kind, moral person and have extreme boundaries with toxic family members.
Keep up the good work! 🙂
Hi Kevin,
Just loved your video, you have always helped me so much on my healing journey away from Narc abuse.
I am thriving in the freedom you have helped me achieve.
I am now leading my family to awareness, and I can see them healing as well.
Sure was scary to be the first in the family to call out the Toxic family member, but now I see others awakening and healing even laughing.
Keep the light shining for us Kevin, your a God given gift to the world.
So true about NO ONE, especially the "church" people, giving you permission...they WILL NOT...yes, I felt like I was turning myself into a BITCH, only to stick up for myself...years and years, starting at childhood, of people walking all over me...WOW...now, when I look back, I cannot believe this has been my life...
I’m in the transformation stage, now just need enough money to leave and NEVER look back. I do also agree w another comment I read, that there is a grieving stage or process that you go through and esp if the narcissist was one of ur parents. Which in my case it’s my mother. It’s really hard to wrap your mind around the abuse and lies u lived w ur entire life and the betrayal. I’m a mom and would protect my kids at all costs! Not sure if I can ever forgive her for all the was done and the resentment is so thick and strong, idk how to ever get over her ruining the first 48 years of my life!!!!!
Powerful overview. Thank you Kevin.
Yes decades of introspection
Decades of enablers making me feel bad for simply wanting to protect myself! Now I’m in transformation but that’s painful too! yet definiteky the best phase so far.
I just seem to have narcissistic abusers and competitors stalking my every move.I’ve had to go off line completely to have sone laywr of protection, not ideal for business, but i try to think of it as redirections - that there’s always a path. Yet still, when I try to make quiet professional links they seem to find out. .
Truly dangerous people!
Thanks for sharing 🙏❤
My personal notes..
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I love this, this helps put it all in perspective. I think I'm in the final phase, of realizing it was never me, and beginning to emerge as the new butterfly. I had started to spread my wings and present the new me, but then I got shy again and felt like I was slipping back. I would love to set up a one on one session, to get that momentum back up and continue moving forward with courage.
I didn't realize I was going through the first 2 phases. Going through the 3rd one now. Kevin, you are awesome!❤
🙏🙏🙏🙏💕 they are experts in making a lie out of a truth and cause you doubt yourself and make you confused and they never stop.The most hiddend characteristic they have is jealousy. All horriblethings they do on perpous or not on perpous has a root in jealousy
15:20 is pure gold! ⚡️
I’m clearly in transformation! I’m making videos on my channel revealing all I’ve learned over the past two and a half years of no contact, and I’m revealing the different things I’ve been through with an incredible amount of narcissistic family members, as a scapegoat.😅
Been TROUGH 1,2. IN THERAPY IM ANGRY. AT ALL THE BULL SHIT! IVE SHUT PEOPLE OFF. IM TIRED AND WORN OUT! IM IN 3!
Love the caterpillar 🐛 and butterfly metaphor. Can’t wait to show a little bit of my wings ( still forming) to my toxic in laws
Yes! I am grateful for my peace and healing 🙏 ❤
Excellent video Kevin. Very powerful & important for narcissistic abuse survivors to be validated and given permission. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for this. This is exactly what I am dealing with. I’m still in the validation stage even after 8 months and still struggling to break ties with the person who abused me, even after divorcing him. I needed to hear this. I have had such guilt, thinking I am not doing what God wants me to do by leaving.
Introspection Validation and Transformation
Asking for prayers from believers.i married into a narcissistic toxic pastoral family. I feel like i married into a painful trap....please pray for me and my two daughters ...
Its hard to believe the last 20 yeats had to be this way...i prayed, begged the Lord for help all throughout...i need Him to be real...
Im out ya'll. Themost intense demonic activity in my house the days after commenting this. By the grace of God I had the opportunity to flee with my two daughters, i had no choice basically that is how much evil was in our former house....and I know it was because of the revealing of the narcissist. God took off his mask and I saw clearly, for the first time in 20 years. If i wasn't living this, i wouldn't believe it....
This is an amazing video. I’ll be watching it again. Btw, I feel very validated every time you mention your in-laws! ❤
Thank you Kevin. I’m through an out on the other side now. You accompanied me along the way and I thank you for validating my experiences. You’re doing a world of good for many people who need your clear eyed counsel. God bless You.
25 years with a covert, 4 years of of emdr therapy and in the middle of the validation phase. You’re right about their attempts to pull me back into introspection. I never realized that I was looking for permission… I think I’m teetering on the edge of transformation finally…It feels like I’m about to jump out of a plane without a parachute 🪂. I’ve gotten here so many times but then I get called and they attempt to pull me back. I’m not going back but I didn’t know what was holding me back from transforming until you talked about permission. Tysm 🙏🏻
@megandavis324, Yes, it can feel like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. It gets easier though, once they begin to feel the shift in your behavior towards them. It's a new and different you. There may be attempts at push back from them. If you expect it ahead of time, you can prepare a response, or no response. I chose the no response route, and now it's THEIR turn to wonder WTF is going on. (!) I know they're wondering. They're smearing my reputation, and attempting triangulation. Oh well! Best of luck to you.
Kevin,it's good to hear your voice again. I'm glad you are still here helping people.
I feel very blessed that the people I go to church with have been very encouraging through the process of my dealing with an abusive parent. I was told ultimately whether I had contact with them or not was my choice but what ever I chose to make sure that I set strong boundaries because the #1 concern is that I was safe and I felt safe. They had also made sure I knew it wasn't my fault for the things I went through and to be proud that I didn't choose to do the same to my kids.
I was literally born into a narcissistic reality. I'd never even heard the word 'narcissist'. My dad was a CLASSIC narcissist!!! He was career military, and my family moved around a lot. But when I became a teenager, I realized there was something wrong with my family. I just couldn't figure out what the problem was. It wasn't until my $/[;$÷ dad died. Several months later, I came across a Utube that explained narcissism, and what it really is. I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY IN MY LIFE!!! My dad was a narcissistic JackAss turning my family inside out. Now, 20 years later, I'm a senior citizen, but the anger is still simmering, mainly because I won't let my anger go. That S.O.B. completely ruined my growing up years, and is still ruining my life, because I refuse to let go of the hurt and anger!! Yes, I need help. Yes, I need to forgive. LIKE HELL I WILL!!!!
Second comment:
I’ve watched twice. I burst into tears when you said “ you don’t need …permission “ while using your hand as a wand that
broke some sort of generational spell!
Perhaps the spell of having to be a “good person “ and self sacrifice, or else we are/ I am a horrible human being. Thank you Kevin.
I'm in transformation. The narcs are dead, the rest of the family are gone, and I have 2 friends who were also raised by narcs. It's a pretty good place to be considering it took over 70 years to get here. I can smell a narc a mile away now and run in the opposite direction. It feels good to know what I want and need and to stay far away from what I don't. Thank you for this session ❤
Transformation= Hope, resurrected. Seeing unseen.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🦋
30 years INTROSPECTION!!! That's me😢😢😢😢😢
Sad to say, introspection took me 40 years. Didn't realize I was waiting for permission. The wait cause me to become stuck. Divorced and moved to another state. At peace now, though I'm a senior citizen.
I started with questions, it leads me to the 3 levels. I am now at transformation. God helped me to the idea of isolating myself from my family.
The abuser family member keeps digging into my plans and find out why I am silent now, I think because she will be happy if she knows that I am not okay.
when I was 16 and a senior in high school, I asked my Christian dad what my my purpose in life was. he responded, "To serve me." I didn't know what to do with that because it imprinted confusion on my soul for many years. these 3 phase concepts are helpful. thank you.
Thanks Kevin. You are telling my life story. I did feel a bit guilty of walking away from narc “friend”. Not any more. I’m two-and-a-half weeks into the no contact. I still don’t feel real good, kinda feel like I shouldn’t be happy. Jesus said to shake the dust off your shoes if people won’t listen. I’m wasting time not letting go. I was brought up to be nice to people. Guess I gotta get that “No more Mister Nice Guy” attitude with this sick person. When I was hurting bad I would say a prayer in thanksgiving for getting away from a terrible person. It helped me to get it out of my mind. I realize this might not be good in the long run, but I was obsessing on how this person could be so mean-hearted. I called him on his animal abuse and how he was always negative. That made him really angry to me. I’m not his toilet. No contact is the only way to go. I don’t care what he thinks or who he tells lies about me to. I really want to celebrate. Kevin, you’ve been a great help. I might have gone back if I hadn’t found your CZcams channel. I watched other videos but yours are the best!
The other videos just made me angry and did not help me.
I would have not traveled thru these stages without sobriety and Jesus. And Kevin for the validation part. Love from the Midwest, my friend
Great teaching video! I'm dealing with parental alienation and an adult daughter who has narcissistic personality traits. Spent years in the introspection phase trying to understand the why behind the what and trying to navigate what I call "the crazy" regarding circular arguments that go nowhere and advance nothing. Decided last year the buck stops here. Decided I don't need anyone's validation or permission to separate reality from someone else's delusion and mind games. Yes, transformation
has come at a price, but I feel free to be my authentic self and to take back my power.
My daughter is the same, I know now it will never change no matter what I do, sad bit better to stay out of their way!🎉
@@individualspawn1077 Me too - I cannot deal with my daughter's issues - 5 yrs no contact. They are on their own journey.
Will you pray for me?
Prayers 🙏
Praying for you ❤️🙏❤️
Yes, you are in my prayers. 🙏May God bless and protect you.
You are definitely in my prayers 🙏
Amazing how knowledgeable this guy is!
Thank you for these videos! Every bit true. Lived with one of these..what I call freak of nature demons for nearly 50 years. Got out and healing. It just takes so long to get better especially when you're older. Keep on helping us please.❤
I hear ya Geri, 30 years in marriage, 62 years of my birth family. Thank goodness we get to see the light. Quite amazing really after all these years.
LOVE LOVE the butterfly analogy- I have become unrecognizable and about to be fly-swatted back into introspection, or maybe not. 🤬
I've been in phase 2 & 3 for 6 months. Outsmarting him, financial situation, and God has helped him
Thanks for all these years of wisdom!! 😇 Getting “enlightened” to understanding the depth of the destruction I blocked out or didn’t know about… until it came up… oof! But each section of the journey has its own shoots and ladders. Understanding what’s going on, and working through it… with all the attached parts… is a slow process of realizing.. there’s more to know and do. But it’s in how you be in response now.. and what you decide to keep… that’ll trap you, or set you free.
Permission and validation. Yep. You said it perfectly. Introspection too. I am in all three at once lol 😂
Thank you Kevin great teaching.
OH YES...I never felt so isolated in my whole life, that after leaving from narcissist
somehow even some of my friends left me, cause he somehow made them choose him over me, while they were watching whats happenning...
but now, when im on the other, happier side, I just realised, there's things we must do on our own, it's really when we get out powe back. Alone.
Boom !!! You are right !!! Talk about untwisting things !!!
You make my life better, Kevin
Thank you for these precious videos and insights into understanding what narcissistic behavior is all about and empowering yourself to not only survive but blossom thereafter. It takes time, and your videos are a source of encouragement and inspiration. Stay blessed.
I’m in the validation stage, hopefully overlapping the transformation stage. Went no contact December 12, 2023 - so about a month out. I feel lost if I’m not watching videos like this. They are my support system, because I feel this is where I’m understood. People can’t imagine what it’s like unless they’ve been through it. I’m starting to worry it’s too much dependence or keeping me stuck. A month really isn’t that long, but I’m looking forward to the days I wake up and it doesn’t even cross my mind.
Love this....thank you so much❤❤
Feel stuck hes always around, can't seem to beeak free
No Shit Kevin...you are spot on!! DECADES of introspection...some years of validation....and been in TRANSFORMATION to this day...I am busting out wings all over the place!🦋🦋🦋🦋 You are fantastic Kevin...Love you!!!
So many people told me they didn't like my narcissistic ex but only after we broke up. I couldn't believe all my friends were just putting up with him for me. If they had "given me permission," I would I saved a lot of time and been a lot less isolated.
I thank God for your ministry Kevin, you were the only one who gave me the validation & understood.