COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: How Hijackals Create Emotional Chaos
Vložit
- čas přidán 31. 07. 2024
- Crazy-making? Oh, yes. Hijackals and other narcissistic folks can create havoc. You start second-guessing yourself, and even questioning your sanity. You can't tell which end is up or where you begin and end, either. Cognitive Dissonance plays a big part!
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
😜How cognitive dissonance can cause you to feel like your head is about to explode
😜Examples of cognitive dissonance that narcissistic Hijackals create
😜How cognitive dissonance affects you & your view of your relationship
😜What to do to reground yourself & stop believing the Hijackal
0:01:18 - explanation of cognitive dissonance
0:08:40 - identifying cognitive dissonance
0:09:18 - is it you?? nope.
0:14:08 - cognitive dissonance is emotional abuse
0:16:00 - the differing realities of Hijackals
0:16:23 - examples of cognitive dissonance
If your relationship causes you to feel anxious, be paralyzed by self-doubt, or have difficulty making clear decisions, you're likely experiencing frequent moments of cognitive dissonance. Not healthy! It's crazy-making. So important to recognize what's happening, and start saying "NO!"
I'm here to help.
Let's talk soon.
Rhoberta
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @forrelationshiphelp
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
Facebook: / relationshiphelpdoctor
Twitter: @RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
CZcams: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelationshiphelp.com/c...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on CZcams to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time. new client introductory Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
www.ForRelationshipHelp.com/join
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WANT A SAFE PLACE-- off social media--
TO TALK, ASK QUESTIONS, GET EXPERT ANSWERS & SUPPORT?
Join my Emerging Empowered Community, online:
ForRelationshipHelp.com/commu...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Explore my eCourses to build your confidence in dealing with narcissistic people.
for-relationship-help.thinkif...
#boundaries #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This content has been created and recorded for the general interest and information of the viewer/listener. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, viewers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind. - Zábava
Mine is so bad that I can ask any uneducated person off the street about a scenario and they look at me like I'm insane while giving an obvious answer.
Oh, and I have done it.
I was ganged up upon at the worst time in my life... And it was based on fraudulent information.
Took me a while to realize those that love me would have taken the time to speak with me rather than take 2nd hand information.
And I'm fairly well educated and certainly well read...
And it still took me a couple of decades to figure this out, accept it, and act upon it.
It's terrible when it's done to children.
Yes, it's terrible when it is done to anyone. Recognizing emotional abuse from Hijackals can elude the most people. Healthier humans don't want to believe Hijackal humans can behave in these ways, so they often give them the benefit of the doubt for too long.
@@ForRelationshipHelp ❤
And these people hate facts! They love confusion
How about this one. "He's just set in his ways".
I grew up with one for sure hijackal personality for a parent, the other one had serious issues also. As a result of how the complexities of early programming have affected me, I am choosing to remain life long single and unattached. Its been a rough road, but not all of us are so lucky to find love and support, so I am very grateful to find these pockets of people, and online communities who understand this stuff. thank you for your content.
I think my middle name is cognitive dissonance….I am paralyzed. I see no way out. I am surrounded by people with no respect for personal boundaries and made to feel like a monster. Maybe I am a reactive monster at times, but I also know I am nothing.
That's sad and difficult. Can you get away from these circumstances and people?
The only way out is DIVORCE and no contact cold turkey .
Don't fall for those people's bs. You're not a monster. You're just observing the monster. I also grew up with the most well dressed, church going heathens. You're still with us. Better days will be ahead. Never lose sight of that and never for one second believe their lies. I made it through. Tell yourself to Never give up. You know right from wrong dear. Hold onto that. Always. I made it 60 years and finally saw the light. Never take your mind off of that. Even a glimmer still means it's there. Imagine yourself as a plug searching for an outlet. Some outlets are dead and some are alive. The live ones you still need to check. We're all looking for that connection as a live wire. Just know that many have damaged wiring that can't be fixed. But never disconnect from yourself. Never let anyone do that to you. No person ever has that ability. You're a human being. Honey, I know what people can do to us. But for you to see it is all you need to know. Never let anyone do the thinking for you.
you're surrounded by chaos ...hyjackles swim in an ocean of chaos...they are the sharks,,,looking for an easy meal....they work both independantly and in concert....so,learn their ques,,dont let them know you are on to them,become covert and gather knowledge,when logging all this down,dont let on or found out,,,hide the diary and develope a poker face,,,,learn to raise one eyebrow,,,learn to gaff(oh really,wow,i didnt know that,one of my favorites is ''' 'don't have time to listen rite now,,,,i'll get back to you on that'' or some variance....dont let them know you care,,,or care about something,,they will attack it or try to commendere and take over,,,,,they are basically either real jealous people or they are suppieor minded complex that gives them the rite to mess with you,BUT CAN STEM FROM AN INFERORITY COMPLEX,stature,childhood,abuse,neglect,respect.but they compinsate which makes them feel powerful(bully on the play ground),,(in their head)they think you are inferior and its your fault for being that way '''phraze,,,if God did not want them shered,then he wouldn't have made them sheep''.they are as complicated as they are sneaky,,,but they tent to be simple minded,,,,they must stick to dirriveted thought,cause lies are hard to keep up with,so they develope a routine....you on the other hand are truthfull because you are positive energy....learn to GAFF....call out,,,for instance...mine played the flip off game,,,,they condition you to look at the high hand while talking,while simotaniously flipping you off with the low hand,and if your eyes drifty,they hollar ,look up here,look up here........say JESUS SAW THAT....they hate it ,especialy mine because hes hented to being a satanist....ya,mine was quite dangerous....BUT,YA CANT KEEP A CHRISTIAN DOWN LONG,BE3FORE GOD INTERVEINS....i sacrifised 6 months and some belongings to draw this bastard in to my trap......hook line and sinker.....he's no longer allowed to speak to me or contact me.....i do his maintenance on his rental unit while hes gone...i still do my duty fairly(repair,replace,up grade,always up grade when possible,pride in work,,,,he doesn't rate in the equation anymore,except ,i will always strive to make mom's tennents comfortible,whether they believe it or not....ya,gotta get strong,some way,some how...put on the gospel armor,as dr.arnold murray would say,,,,,,know that as great a man and saviour(CHRIST MAN)as JESUS was,he to was wrongly persicuted and abused,bvut his tougue remained sharp with witt and his heart felt sorrow for the lost who pursicuted him,,,,we are no better than JESUS,,,but we are special,,,because if you wern't,you wouldn't be attacked,mentally is spiritually...so the devil is at play,,,,know that you are a child of the light that is IN CHRIST...NOW,BECOME THE WARRIOR, JEFF AVERY
@@kaystephens2672amazing words of wisdom
Amen. If it FEELS or SOUNDS OFF, it’s BECAUSE it IS OFF?period. But especially for your life plans and goals.
Gratitude ❤
Great video 👍 . Thanks for sharing
So very, very true.
Im glad I found you tonight
Love the Hyjackal word 😂
This is saving me right now thank you🙌🏻
SO HELPFUL! I have suffered through CD recently and then exploded. Putting my foot down for the first time in an incredibly long term relationship. So exhausting…
Me too, they poked the bear too many times.
I’ve been in this with my hair dresser. She’s nuts. I left and never going back. She needs mental help.
Thank you for providing much needed clarity and confirmation. Greatly appreciated ✨🙏🏼✨
Oh, yes, Hijackals like to have control by taking your documents. SO wrong.
I went to a professional therapist and explained a situation between my husband narc and my neighbor narc. And the end of the session the therapist told me that I was correct. And that I need to believe I shouldn't need a therapist to prove I was right all along. He couldn't believe I needed to have some one to tell me I was correct all along. !!! It was worth every dime I paid for a professional to help me.
Wow, this makes so much sense. I’m a professional singer and have been dealing with creative blocks for years now. I’m just now tracing it back to my abusers. I never connected the dots before. Thank you for this confirmation and validation.
This has been very helpful my mothers a narcissistic hyjaclal..
My father enables her and im tge scapegoat 😢.
Had an incident with my mother 2 days ago. Shes changed her original story...today.
Totally relate. Thankyou for helping us...much ❤
One of these things is not like the other 💛 Good song 👍 I heard my Higher Power say - Don't have anything to do with a double-minded man. I'm married to one - he's almost exactly like my Mother. It's completely crazy-making.
They destroy the faith you have in yourself to control you better.
Wow...first 5 minutes is my exact experience. Shoooo
Although it's sad, it's good to see for what it is.
Thank you for support....
Dr. Shaler, thank you again. I've commented on CZcams chats. You are the first video I watched. I'm the one raised by hijackle mom and surrounded in 40 year friendships by them. So, I've been at this over a year and a half. I've learned gaslighting was a way of life. Cognitive dissonance is born from gaslighting, right? I just had this epiphany tonight...cognitive dissonance can become a way of thinking and takes on many different colors. It's constant. Am I beginning to heal?
So helpful video.
I have ADHD and mine had me thinking he was the person who could tell me what was true and untrue. At the end, I had to record all conversations. He was lying. He had said awful things to me. I did remember what he said but not exactly word for word, but understood the meaning.
Thank you, very helpful
Very, very good and helpful video. Thank you so very much!!!
My 2nd hijackal husband even tried to suggest I had dementia (at the age of 35). He fooled all my supports making them think I was unreasonable, paranoid and crazy including my own parents, my employer friends/mentors and our marriage counselor. He claimed he saw a demon strangling me in my sleep to claim I was under demonic influence. Meanwhile he was molesting one of my kids. When I found out, I busted him but had to deal with a total hijackal system that initially wrote me off, forced me to go to lengths to get help (which I diligently did and got him gone within a couple days). Once law enforcement finally paid attention they got CPS involved who turned it all on me, went full out witch hunt lying and breaking laws to insane degrees to take my kids and charge me with "failure to protect", (for protecting my kids and sending the perp, who confessed, to prison) then transferring my sole custody to their dad my first hijackal husband under threat of terminating my parental rights, tho I had just bailed him out of a felony charge for unpaid support, he admitted to illegal drug use, didn't have enough bedrooms, had never supported the kids, they did nothing to verify his ability to support the kids, they ignored all the oroff of me being a great parent, now requiring me to pay child support and "be supervised by another adult" with my kids so now I'm cohabitating and co-parenting with the first hijackal. So much damage was done, so much progress undone for the kids and I. I did everything I could to make it work with my first husband before shifting my effort toward breaking from him to provide a better life for my kids (which I was doing well and better than we ever had together. The kids were finally thriving In ways they never had. ..only to be torn apart by another hijackal husband, the system and even my own defense attorney who admitted to providing an inadequate defense, only by then I had no resources left to fund an appeal so I lost custody and am bound to hijackal once again only now he has the leverage of the kids on his side. It's freaking insane and now I'm dealing with physical problems and imbalances as a result of all the prolonged stress and trauma. The battle never freaking ends for me no matter how much I learn, how much I do the right thing, and how strong I am.
SO difficult...and, unfortunately, too common. You have experienced the worst of the systems that are inadequately trained to see AND BELIEVE the patterns of emotional abuse. I'm so sorry to hear all that you have gone through.
This is incredibly stressful and I can only hope that something positive is now happening. Children remd to come to their senses layer on life.
C PS is very corrupt
Look up Senator Nancy Schafer who exposed the corruption in this child trafficking ring. It has never reformed.
Is creating cognitive dissonance a conscious choice by the hijackal?
It can be. One way to recognize this is to ask yourself: "Does the Hijackal do this at work, at church, or in the community?" If the answer is "No," you know it is intentional.
I'll be divorced and will cut off all communication in 1 month. Thankfully nothing but a financial mistake so far. This was 2nd marriage. Wait, marriage is a bad term. He eas an angry control pervert in sheeps clothing! He actually sexually texted my daughter in law and " my family" is oversensitive" 🤯.
Can anyone see the correlation in cognitive dissonance and trans ideology? And isn’t a whole group who subscribe, hijackals? Every sentence Dr Rhoberta states, I can relate it 100% to this situation on every single level in terms of behaviours, relational dynamics and outcomes.
No, it's a biological fact.