I've been making alot of heretical content lately, I swear I'm not depressed or anything. Back to some more Inquisitorial approved vids next week! In the mean time, click here for something not in Inquisitorial approved : www.patreon.com/majorkill
"You become the most unfuckable thing in the entire galaxy." Seems I was a Follower of Nurgle all my life. You know, except that getting love, community, no suffering and eternal life part of course.
I find it very amusing that Nurgle and Slaanesh essential both grant what the other promises on the surface. Slaanesh looks like a never ending party, a life of endless pleasure and delight but actually gives you nothing but deprivation and endless misery. While Nurgle on the other hand looks like endless agony and despair but gives you unending joy, acceptance, and safety.
@@ShizuStream But what he offers isn't peace. It's simply stagnation. What's the point of happiness and joy if you don't have pain and sadness to experience alongside it? What purpose is there simply in existing in a state of pure stagnation and rot? Nurgle's "peace" is a lie.
@@Crazieyboy15 that's a topic that's very deep imo and i wont discuss it rn, im already aiming for immortality irl, so i think about these type of issues daily
@@ShizuStream Honestly, immorality is quite possibly the worst thing one could gain. Because the very second you attain immortality everything else will inevitably become meaningless to you. Of course, not all at once, but in time.
Chaos undivided is like going mid on all four at the same time. "I beat up someone for a book" Khorne is content "It's a banned book by the Empire." Tzeentach is content "I fell asleep on the toilet while reading it." Nurge is content "I had sex with the book." Slaanesh is kinda into that
I think the big thing with Tzeench is that he expects his followers to be ambitious. Ahriman may despite Tzeench, and work to oppose and possibly even overthrow him, but I think that very audacity and ambition is why Tzeench grants him such boons. Someone who follows all the doctrines of Tzeench rather than seeking to exploit those rules for their own ends might be little better than a gutless lapdog, so the transformation to a chaos spawn is almost fitting punishment.
True because the Changer of Ways likes progress total obedience is stagnation. This is why he cursed the Scarab Occult with the Rubric despite them being powerful psykers because they lacked ambition and were complacent in his eyes.
Yeah this is the one thing I don't like when people say Tzeentch is just totally random or fucking around and in it for a laugh (I know in MKs videos he's mostly meme'ing it but it's still a common sentiment) when there's actually a pretty obvious connection between almost everyone Tzeentch blesses. And it's that they're trying to do something most would consider mad or impossible. Of course there are examples of this failing but I don't think this is so much Tzeentch being random as it is it deciding that the individual lacks whatever is necessary to accomplish their goal. He could of course given them a gift to help them towards this but I think he wants to see that the person actually has potential before that. Say someone decided they wanted to create a whole new group of Primarchs, that's certainly ambitious but if they don't even know the first step Tzeentch isn't going to be impressed and probably monkey paw them. But if that person at the very least is able to take the first few steps on their own Tzeentch recognizes they hold potential and that with greater knowledge they may go on to do even crazier shit than they already planned. His actions seem random because we're viewing this metric from a mortals perspective while a god is making the actual choice.
@@finnheisenheim8274 I'd say it's less trying to undermine him and more bringing change while being ambitious about it, so for example, taking a imperial world that's thought to be impenetrable would count as significant tactical change and would help further the goals of chaos as a whole
I had the hardest time understanding Tzeentch as a faction, until I realized something: none of the Chaos gods have motives that are that deep. Khorne wants to kill things, Nurgle wants to decay things, Slaanesh wants excessive pleasure. None of them have a plan beyond "we want more, go do it." Tzeentch doesn't have some shadowy plan for a set end-goal we can't see, Tzeentch just wants to change things. He has no end goal, because that's not what Chaos gods are about- they don't want it all, they want _more._ Tzeentch just wants things to be different, however they are now. And once they're different, he wants them changed again. All his plans, all his schemes and information gathering are for that.
You begin, I see, to grasp at the threads dangling from The Weaver of Fate's loom. There's no "end-game" for The Changer of Ways. An "end" is a Nurglite thing, something static and unmoving. The Great Game is played for the Great Game's own sake. For He had already won, yet allowed Himself to be Broken so the Game could continue. Now He's sent his Scribes to collect His Words so He can break the current stalemate and allow a new stage of the Great Game to begin. His Plans are Multitude and they collapse under their own complexity. Yet the joy is in the planning, not really in it's successful implementation.
And that just pisses me off the most. That Tzeentch, for all his knowledge, power, sight and wisdom, truly HAS NO PLAN!! He purely does shit for the sake of "That's a thing I could do". Everything that makes sense, he will and won't do. He'd give his most loyal follower the gift of chocolate milk mix and then turn right around and give a begger the secrets of the cosmos just for the hell of it. He is a literal asshole of godlike proportions.
@@Crazieyboy15 Slaanesh and Tzeentch are very similar in that regard, Tzeentch doesn't want the great game to end because it is fun, he never wants to win something, he never wants things to stay the same, because it is fun to seek that knowledge, Slaanesh is always seeking that next high, that next hit. They both want to feel good, they go about it in different ways, but they are quite similar in some ways.
Nurgle: you get what you want at huge cost Khorne: you get what you want at extremely high cost Tzeentch: you get totally opposite of what you want Slaanesh: you get what you want in a way you definitely don’t want
When forced to choose between two evils I would choose the lesser of the two for that in the future the evil will be diminished as it simply isn’t chosen
Warhammer fans having no reading comprehension and missing the point of slaanesh entirerly for "Lol sex" will never not be funny cause they are also the exact same people who would join slaanesh cause Lol sex then have their dick put through a pencil sharpener
I think Tezznch just wants more powerful players to go up against in his great game. Also I'm sure the followers who are scheming against him probably give him more power than those who sit there and praise him.
I mean... they're probably made to be the most fuckable things in the galaxy if u ingore the fact they wanna crush your balls since that's kinda their thing.
Actually, Ahriman shows how Tzeentch can be a good option. You sell your soul to it, and then try to thwart them at every turn. He will grant you boons.
Grandfather Nurgle is the coolest! When you visit him he proudly shows you the endless rooms of his kingdom, containing all known plagues (this could take years, by the way). When your tour is over, you might get sent home with a custom-engineered plague for your people!
Certain viruses in specialized conditions can evolve and mutate in months, as opposed to years. If you like plague go be a scientist, it's more optimizing than serving NG
5th Option: Chaos Undivided, play all the gods off of each other, abbadon, and perterabo basically do this and it infuriates the chaos gods, they outbid each other to attract talent. Now you have to be able to attract the favors of all the gods at once but its not impossible
I'd debate whether Perterabo is actually undivided. In fact Iron warriors in general are fairly pragmatic for a chaos aligned faction I generally tend to see them seeing demons as generally useful but not necessarily objects of worship.
The problems with that is that you need to both: A) Be a hyper talented ubermench among supersoldiers. B) Be a calculating bastard who is able to perfectly balance the demands of 4 eldritch abominations. If you fail to balance things, or if it turns out you're not quite hot shit, then you end up as the punching bag for all four chaos gods. aka probably the worst possible fate in the universe. Nurgle is the much safer choice, if you genuinely are forced to pick. Basically: Tzeentch Is dumping all your money into Crypto. Nurgle is investing your money in the stock market. Khorne is deciding that you're going to mug people for a living. Slanesh is deciding that you're going to make, sell, and use Meth. And Chaos Undivided is spending all your money on lottery tickets.
@@CatacombD Ah yes, Night Lords are so calculating and considering of the feelings of the gods that their psykers personally tell each chaos god individually to go fuck themselves when they try to sway them.
Khorne: my followers are my warriors. Tzeentch: my followers are my game pieces. Nurgle: my followers are my family. Slanesh: my followers are my *censored* cEnSoRed “censored” CENSORED!
Tzeentch: ... Being traumatized wasn't part of all of my plans... Nurgle: I hope my kids don't hear that EVER. Khorne: And once again, this is why I hate you.
Chaos undivided enjoyer:☝😮😐😶 nope, back to heretek, who knows they create something funny with vashtor, i remember we've been get some archotech before
To be honest I didn’t even consider Nurgle until the part where he said that you don’t feel the pain of Nurgle’s gifts and to be honest I would like to be apart of something that I am valued in both by my god/gramps and fellow followers. Plus I think it would be cool to go to Nurgle’s garden and see all of the life that blossoms there. I’d love to here the opinions of those who’d chose different factions and their reasoning for it.
Khorne for strength, I don't have to be as dedicated in killing as other people, i simply just need to stay loyal to some extent that i get good gifts of strength, muscle and heightened senses but not lost much of the necessary part of my mind. Though I won't like having to kill things frequently.
Khorne but not for the blessings of strength and power but for the freedom. In the 40k universe it is laws and restrictions this, good vs evil that, politics and religion and planning blah blah blah. Every day there is a new bad guy and a new good guy and some universe ending event it's all very confusing and hard to keep up with. Khorne just wants blood. Simple. Everything else is up to you, he doesn't restrict you in any other way unless you start actively rejecting him. Freedom and the gift of strength to reject others oppression sounds pretty damn good to me. I'd just roam around the galaxy ignoring all the drama and just fighting the biggest, nastiest things I could find. A big skull is worth way more than 1000 little weak ones, after all. The rouge champion of the blood god, just having a good time with it.
Tzeentch knowledge is pretty nice and i already like to study and unless i fuck up and get turned into a chaos spawn i am not getting any true drawback
I love Nurgle for his wholesomeness. Although I do love constant change due to boredom, ultimately I think I’d be happier and more at peace with Papa Nurgle. Always needed a strong father figure in my life lol
I’d honestly still join Khorne because it’s the gamer route - you always crave a higher kill streak each battle and unlike Slaanesh and Tzeentch you’re not getting stabbed in the back. Plus, the bloodlust can be managed if we go by the Blood Pact and some Warbands focusing more on martial prowess. EDIT: Yes you’ll get stabbed in the face by other followers, but it’s basically the equivalent of going into a 1v1 match. Better gamer always wins. You get killed? Skill issue.
Hardcore gamers: try to receive exalted status with the Ruinous 4 as a member of Chaos Undivided. Insane 100% completionists: as well get exalted with the Malal, Hashut and the Great Horned Rat. If completed, try to woo some C'tans, Eldar God's, Jimmy Space Gorkamorka, Elven and Dwarven Gods, Nagash, Lightning McHammer... you catch the drift. Meanwhile I'm doing easy mode by picking Nurgle. And receive Nurglings and Beasts of Nurgle on Top of that, now that's a no-brainer.
I would sell my soul to Majorkill. You gain the knowledge of Warhammer, the excess for torturing Timmy, the gift of Warhammer Hentai and the skills of his martial arts.
"You should never grade evils, for if one is the worst, then you might be tempted to kinship with the least" -Grimgi Now if you're excuse me, I gotta go because I'm still in the virus bomb's blast radius
In a nutshell You can either go for the raging gamer Chaos God with super strength Go for the very confused Chaos God who might prank you with tentacles The punk Chaos God who makes you way too addicted to anything Or Grandpa who is always proud of you
Well... Slaanesh is out because for all the depravities and excess you'll just feel ever unsatisfied. Khorne is not a good deal unless you already are a bloodthirsty psychopath. Leaves Tzeentch and Nurgle. Tzeentch quite possibly has the best perks out of the bunch but he also might throw you under the bus at any given time just because he's a backstabbing bastard. Nurgles "perks" are objectively horrible unless you always wanted to get hyper-aids. Then again, Nurgle is the only one out of the four who actually cares for his worshippers. For a chaos god, he's a genuinely nice fella. And odds are, if you actually do commit yourself to Nurgle, you'll actually start appreciating all of his gifts anyways.
Slaanesh probably has the better reward, but Nurgle is less risky. Nurgle will reduce chances of dying with his "Gifts" and so better overall chance of becoming a Daemon Prince.
I'd definitely go with Nurgle. Once you are infected you don't care and don't feel pain anyway. Also it looks like a right laugh in the Garden with all your mates.
Nurgle: Immortality and companionship at the cost of your body Khorne: Power at the cost of your mind Slaanesh: Pleasure at the cost of your dignity and body Tzeentch: Get turned into a weird mutated creature Chaos Undivided: Plenty of power and freedom, at a careful balance
Wouldn't Tzeentch offer vast knowledge and magical ability at the cost of your physical form? Something tells me you're not a fan of Tzeentch to begin with :P
Indeed, just read about Word Bearers. You'd be a horrible monster, but YOU choose what colour of your t-shirt you are wearing. Just be sure not to turn into Fury!
There was an Oldhammer story where, I forget the exact circumstances, but (a priestess of?) the goddess Shallya stopped a Nurgle warband in their tracks by dumping cure-magic into the Chaos Lord to the point of redeeming and restoring the Reiksguard Templar he was before he caught magicovid, and he turned on his warband. And I was like... "is this a joke about Knights of the Old Republic?"
Khorne sounds like the easiest one to try and balance as long as you kill enough to be seen as loyal but not enough for your mind to go Insane but if it does you get a chance to become a massive blood princes
I think the appeal of immortality cannot be denied, but without sanity it's all for naught. Nurgle is the least sanity affecting one, and since we're all destined to grow old and rot, i find his gifts more palatable so to speak
Slaanesh has every single STD at once, Tzeench has borderline personality disorder and probably schizophrenia, Khorne is just completely insane, and Nurgle has Hyper-AIDS
Slaanesh: "I will literally torture you for eternity." Khorne: "I will literally kill you." Tzeench: "I'll trick you into getting the worst fate possible just for a laugh." Nurgle: "Would you like a hug from your stinky old grandfather? I pissed myself earlier, don't mind the smell."
@@IamaPERSON Oh, Granpa Nurgle all day. I'd be singing songs in my croaky awful voice and summoning up the dead ones with all my Nurgle bros, and enjoying all the suffering and whatnot. Might even wear my own entrails like a cool scarf. There's only one _jolly_ chaos god. All the rest are either insane, psychotic, and don't care the least bit about their followers.
Mister tentacles and forbidden knowledge isn't so bad. Just gotta keep him entertained and constantly change your goals so you're most likely to end up on the good side of the coin that day. Man that sounds stressful.
If I HAD to pledge to one of the Chaos Gods, I'd choose Nurgle, he is the only one that can give you something akin to peace. No excess, no unquenchable rage, no bullshit galaxy brain overly complicated schemes to fuck you up specifically because Tzeench woke up this morning and felt like it. Just peacefully rotting away in his gardens, its the best outcome you can hope for if you sell your soul to hell.
Here’s the problem though. You HAVE to be happy. Magic is necessary for you to feel comfortable. If it was to run out for some reason then you are in for the most horrible death possible. So you need to extend the influence of Nurgle to new followers who in turn need to contaminate new people to secure their own “healthcare system”. It’s a ponzi scheme no different from being miserable and wanting everyone to be as miserable as you are.
@@alicemodeus7050 BUT, you feel happy. Of course its fucked up, this is still Chaos we are talking about but the others never really give you a sense of happyness or fulfillment, at least not for long.
Imagine in far future where 40k universe becomes real. You're considering on joining the Chaos Gods, and you proceed to go to youtube and types "Best Chaos god to pledge" and uses this video as reference
Not exactly on point, but my head cannon is that Gork and Mork would cut a deal with Khorne to (1) enslave all sentient beings other than Orks to Khorne (2) then have a damn near eternal krump-fest between the two factions. They would put aside this eternity war to fight the necrons and nids whenever they got too upity.
This would be the best thing to ever happen in warhammer, but did you know there already is an ork warband that has a battle to eternity with some demons
In the Lord of Silence book. “About the Deathguard” Dantine had his heart removed by Vorx and he was still alive and didn’t understand how or why. Vorx then tells him “there are many things you don’t understand” then after sometime. Dantine felt comfortable.
@@balorthedreamer6792 if you want to know more about that. Then I recommend reading the book. It’s a good book. Both Dantine and Vorx had a long conversation. So I didn’t want to type all of it lol
Chaos is like a shitty highway that will take you to a horrible place no matter which route you take, but I'd have to say the most practical out of the four is Khorne since you get a boost in strength and determination to survive the horrible odds of the galaxy where there is literally only war, while at the cost of sanity and being given a chronic addiction to blood and murder.
With Khorne you are either completely devoted to his cause of he forces you to be completely devoted to his cause, be completely devoted by choice and you eventually become a deamon prince eventually
@@mr.fantastic7756 One half is under the command of typhus (ex first captain iirc) and the other half is under command of morti. Typhus and Morti don't like each other that much anymore.
Slaanesh is the most intriguing to me because of what it is (40k). Seriously, have you ever taken a step back and thought about it? An immortal Alien Chaos god of literal hell, birthed from 5000 years of degeneracy. Seemingly innocent things like enjoying yourself, your life, love, happiness and passion will lead you down the path of damnation, without you even knowing it.
It is so-so, with an edge towards NO. There are things that Slaneesh seems to find "boring",. Also it may have happened in some obscure lore. But the things you mention do not seem to interest Slaneesh. Slaneesh enjoys the "twisted" versions of that. For Slaneesh to be birthed, the Eldar (Who had existed for millions of years) needed five thousnad years of blood orgies.
@@facundogonzalez1277 Yeah, I am no expert on 40k lore but from listening to MajorKill and Baldermort their lore videos, it is pretty clear that the Eldar behaved as total sick fucks for a few thousands of years. That is also why the Drukhari consider themselves to be the True Eldar, as they never gave up their hedonism and instead 'perfected' it.
Kind of not really? I mean Eldar can enjoy themselves and can be quite passionate without insta self yeeting to Slaanesh. I mean just looking at the path lifestyle and its clear there is a lot of patience and passion to dedicate. Its the rampant expression of it thats the problem. Kind of like the difference between a Grateful Dead concert where the contact high spreads for miles and miles while everything develops that dank smell vs a chilled out local vista concert. One is just too much.
So you’re telling me that if I follow Khorne on the low-key then I become a hunk and a better fighter and I’m less susceptible to being bamboozled? I’m sold.
I feel like, if you're a guardsman fighting against Chaos, the best god to worship would be Malice... parts of his identity are really cool but the way he was redconned and worked out was kinda shit.
@The Dark Hour au contraire, praying to the Emperor is the highest form of Not-Heresy (and the way they phrased the statement isn't implying the Emperor is a Chaos God, I tells ya Mr Inquisitor)
10:25 i was just thinking about this exact same question. I gotta admit, having 2 tentacles extruding fron your back with you having extra strength, freling really happy and being immune to pain sounds amazing
Id say a Chaos Undivided Heretek but i would definitly struggle with the balance slipping into slaanesh`s embrace sounds like something REALLY difficult to resist
I always figured Nurgle winning wouldn't actually change much for the mortals of the galaxy besides making them all ugly. I mean... the only real DOWNSIDE to Nurgle is that there is a chance your bodily rot might effect your brain but it doesn't necessarily by default. (And even if it did you'd probably love it) If everyone was infected by Nurgle then they wouldn't even be able to judge eachother for being ugly. Plus, Nurgle genuinely loves and cares for his subjects. He really just wants diversity in life, just to a ridiculous degree. Based grandad.
It's not just about the rot and appearance, it's that Nurgle would make life meaningless. Under him, we'd never feel sadness or pain, but what is the point of an eternal life of happiness? That would just be existing for the sake of existing. Contrary to what Nurgle may want, we NEED sadness and pain to give happiness and joy meaning. We NEED and end to our lives to give life meaning. Nurgle's "peace" is just stagnation. Nothing more.
@@Crazieyboy15 that’s already the case lmfao there is no such thing as meaning, it is inherently made up and completely subjective. Also yeh all organism exist for the sake of existing otherwise they wouldn’t exist
@@saosaqii5807 Okay, so this statement is either nihilism or a very poor attempt to sound intelligent. You can't say "There is no such thing as meaning" and then in the same sentence say "Meaning is subjective". That's idiotic. Yes, the meaning of one's life is subjective and up tot he individual, so what's all this talk about it being meaningless? Also, pal, an organism can exist beyond just "Existence". That, too, is an idiotic comment. As stated before, you can give life meaning on a whim. It's not just "existing". -_-
@@saosaqii5807 Wouldn’t the very statement that there is “no such thing as meaning” be a meaning of life? If there is no meaning to life. How were you able to come to such a conclusion? If life truly has no meaning. You discovered it has no meaning. Then the meaning of life is to discover that it has no meaning. Which would make it a contradictory statement.
Tzeentch in AoS has a much clearer objective, he wants the realm of Chamon and his followers are corrupt mages wielding power to bring his daemons to the realm. At least that's his short term goal, but the damn dwarves stand against him. Also he does the whole Mcbeth thing where he'll make it so you cannot be struck down, only for a dwarf to dump a vat of acid on you, not technically striking you down, but killing you all the same
Yeah, but the thing is, for all his knowledge, power and schemes, Tzeentch HAS NO PLAN!!! It all just shits and giggles for him. Everything that makes sense, he will and won't do. He'd give his most loyal follower the gift of chocolate milk mix and then turn right around and give a begger the secrets of the cosmos just for the hell of it. He's an asshole of godlike proportions.
Khorne's a straight shooter. He won't dick you over for jokes, murderfuck you into oblivion or make you a walking pile of shit. He just wants skulls for his throne and blood to be spilled. He doesn't care whose blood it is, either. So long as it flows.
@@SSD_Penumbra Being dicked over for jokes, provided that you've proved yourself enough to not be dicked over to the extent that you're no longer able to play in the Great Game, doesn't seem that bad. He won't dick you over for disobeying him; he'll dick you over for being uninteresting
Ngl, Tzeench is my pick, because even tho I have the chance of becoming a chaos spawn, I still have a small chance of becoming a dope space wizard with a ton of knowledge
Honestly I'd pick nurgle simply because he seems to acutaly care for you and you get to be happy and part of a community why the other ones yes have big boons but they all seem to have huge drawbacks to really mess you up
Without having watched yet I'd rank it Nurgle, Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh. Slaanesh is by far the worst, ironically there's no pleasure to be had as you eventually become numb to all experience or the plaything to higher beings, Tzeentch seems it would lead to paranoia as the concern of constant schemes and efforts of others would play on your mind. Khorne might be brutal, but it has an honest directness to it and at the very least isn't cruel; it is violent, bloodthirsty and destructive but not sadistic and for a warlike worshipper a state of constant battle isn't actually that bad. Nurgle applies arguably some of the worst suffering, however also seems to induce a masochistic mindset so that suffering becomes a boon; you'll live in a hell of constant unending decay, pain, suffering and degradation... but for their follows what more could you ask for?
Not really you would do well to think how to survive so you can spill blood again and again ,only when you reach karn levels of power you can then stop thinking.
@@oecmnnncxzo7796 nah, with khorne you still gotta think. Martial prowess aint easy. Nurgle though? Literally just scratch someone and you’re spreading that influence
Definitely Slaanesh. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll and probably some crazy incredible genre of otherworldly music that no mortal being could ever dream of composing.
Tzeetch once tortured and sealed away one of his closest daemons for speaking a single truth in his presence. But by definition as the lord of deceptions and secrets, there was no way for the daemon to know which of the things he said was the thing that resulted in his punishment.
@@Sporkmaker5150 that's probably the real reason he got locked away, he didn't actually utter a single truth, resulting in his lies being transparent, a complete insult to his master.
Tzeentch obviously. I can run around throwing random spells, have no idea what they do and if I inevitably fuck up I can just say it's all according to plan and slap some poor sod with a tentacle I have instead of an arm
Honestly what is wrong with having a tentacle arm when you are able to cast more complicated sigils with it? It might look horrid but in Tzeentch's mind he gave you something even better. It's all about perspective I guess.
I don't see how anyone would want Nurgle. The "Peace" he offers is nothing but a lie. Under him, you'd feel no pain or sadness. But what's the point of an existence of unending rot and happiness. We NEED pain and sadness for joy and happiness to have meaning. And we NEED to have an end to our lives for living to have any meaning. Nurgle's promise is just an eternity of...meaningless existence.
@@Crazieyboy15 Or, you could die as a faithful Imperial citizen and just get tortured and consumed by Nurglites or whatever daemons capture your soul in the warp anyways. From a biological point of view, the happiness we feel is chemical stimuli in response to something, and Nurgle offers that feeling 24/7, so why not take it? Death is not the end in Warhammer, so might as well take the happiest or at least most stable and comfortable option for the long-term.
If Slaneesh is about taking heroin or meth, then Tzeench is about taking a acid trip, you never know where your will end up, it could be the best place in the universe, or the worse
Pledge yourself to Gork and Mork. You will have more fun than Slanessh can give you, more fight than Khorne can throw at you, more OP magic shenanigans than that fuck tzeench have and have greener skin than a Nurgle follower.
what happens when humans follow Gork and Mork? Like if a whole hive world just up and said "Ya know, them orks seem to be having way more fun than anything else in the universe. Let's see what this Gork and Mork have to offer us"
If i were a guardsman, and life decides that i will be seen as a taritor to the big E, i would just simply (and as quietly as possible) join the T'au. Not chaos, doesn't soulrape, provides good healthcare, a golden life and uberhigh quality goods.
What if you're stuck on the other Side of the galaxy from the Tau empire? Is there a way to meet them outside of segmentum Ultima.....asking for a friend. :)
Always ask my friend what god he would choose and I gotta say Nurgle being the most logical...I mean your gonna die and rot inevitably and time erodes all things in the end. And he actually cares about his followers so sure you might have space aids but its gonna be like being party of a unsightly to look st but big family.
The ebst thign about Tzeentch is that despite his prowess for seeing the future, he could literally win against the Imperium of Man quite easily and take over, but he doesn't. Tzeentch is here for the fun, and if he wins and dominates, the fun is over, so he intentionally fucks up his plans to continue the eternal battle for fun.
i would try for Chaos undivided then kill Abbadon to become the new Warmaster of Chaos, then eventually search out The Sons of Malice chapter to join them with the black legion and all the Chaos warbands i can get. move to remove the ruinous powers as much as i can, then assualt tera and mars, destroy the golden throne, absorb the imperium as much as i can into my control, Become Supreme conqueror of the universe, Burn it all down and remake in my imagine like a 40K(or even 50k) version of god, then make a tabletop game out if it :D
Always loved tzeentch, and still love him. I don’t care if he turns me into some hanime tentacle monster for a good laugh, the slim chance that I can become a chaotic space mage will never not be worth it for me
@@3ggh3ad You really don't need Slaanesh. If you want to go tentacle-orgy-fun-time, there's no Tzeentch rule against it. You just need to do so as part of some grant scheme. Seduce the princess of some feudal world to sow dissent and overthrow the governor. Or pretend to be a xeno and set up an 'extra-kinky' brothel on one of the more comfortable worlds, allow it to be discovered after a few years, and watch the community tear itsself apart when all the fabricated entries in the bookkeeping imply half the ruling class were regular customers. Something like that. And when you're done with your lover, either stab them in the back or induct them into the cult too. Scheming is a full-time job, but there's no reason you can't have fun while you're at it.
If any Chaos gods got ahold of me, it would probably be either Khorne or Tzeench. Khorne may be a brutal warmonger, but he's an Honest brutal warmonger. And Tzeench can appeal to my enjoyment of anything thought provoking.
If one chaos god were to take over the galaxy I would prefer it to be nurgle...think about it you could lead a "normal" life essentially if everything was nurglefied without the chaos god actively trying to screw you over.
@@slimboarder.o7 Have you read the Dark Imperium series? You get the POV of an average citizen, and its like a 13 year old Girl, which is middle age by their standards.
Nurgle really is 'good'.The adeptus mechanicus and Imperium would kill half of humanity only to protec his interests or knowledge.However the other 3 demons are cruel intentional and no respect his own servers.Nurgle,on the other hand,even for the least form of life that follows him,would give his life(It is proven)and will keep you alive at all costs.(In exchange for being a living shit xd)
Could always go with The Outcast Chaos God Malice (Malal) although no one will like you ever again but you’ll be able to take down the other chaos spawn-demons until you get killed.
Slaanesh, without doubt. The level of passion in worshipping that can be to Slaanesh, is unattainable to any other god. Pleasure, joy and devotion - what can be more important?
Also, not all of Nurgles followers go full bloat. it depends which of his glorious gifts he's given you. Nurgles Rot is the one that makes you all unfuckable. But those with fatal diseases often pray to him, and those with chronic diseases as well. Anyone sick can feel Papa Nurgles love.
"If you join Nurgle you get love, community, no suffering and eternal life, but you become the most unfuckable thing in the entire galaxy". So becoming a follower of Nurgle basically means becoming a religious fanatic IRL!
Tzeentch's ultimate goal is utterly unknowable. Perhaps the Great Game and even the destruction of the Old World are merely amusing diversions for the Great Schemer? The realisation of his greater plan, if he has one, is lost in the mists of the far future. His conspiracies often appear to be self-defeating and contradictory, for he has intricately planned each ineffable manoeuvre far into eternity. To even begin to unravel his intentions is to invite madness. Indeed it could be said that only the mad can truly understand the ways of the Great Schemer, for perhaps he is mad himself, and his plans are, in fact, utterly devoid of all reason.
I've been making alot of heretical content lately, I swear I'm not depressed or anything.
Back to some more Inquisitorial approved vids next week!
In the mean time, click here for something not in Inquisitorial approved : www.patreon.com/majorkill
Can you do a video on red scorpions on the Crimson Slaughter.
MORE MAJORKILL THEORY VIDEOS
Does malice and the other gods have followers?
@@Prenz01 Yes.
Content is on point , I'd love a major kill what if series.
"You become the most unfuckable thing in the entire galaxy."
Seems I was a Follower of Nurgle all my life. You know, except that getting love, community, no suffering and eternal life part of course.
It's okay, we'll rot peacefully together.
At least we might be able to summon some wholesome plague douges is we try hard enough. :-)
I’d probs look better as a nurgle follower.
Same
There are always another Nurgle followers
I find it very amusing that Nurgle and Slaanesh essential both grant what the other promises on the surface. Slaanesh looks like a never ending party, a life of endless pleasure and delight but actually gives you nothing but deprivation and endless misery. While Nurgle on the other hand looks like endless agony and despair but gives you unending joy, acceptance, and safety.
true
@@ShizuStream
But what he offers isn't peace. It's simply stagnation. What's the point of happiness and joy if you don't have pain and sadness to experience alongside it? What purpose is there simply in existing in a state of pure stagnation and rot?
Nurgle's "peace" is a lie.
@@Crazieyboy15 that's a topic that's very deep imo and i wont discuss it rn, im already aiming for immortality irl, so i think about these type of issues daily
@@ShizuStream Honestly, immorality is quite possibly the worst thing one could gain.
Because the very second you attain immortality everything else will inevitably become meaningless to you. Of course, not all at once, but in time.
@@Crazieyboy15 I mean I completely disagree, any life that ends is meaningless imo, but i'll get some sleep before discussing that more
Chaos undivided is like going mid on all four at the same time.
"I beat up someone for a book" Khorne is content
"It's a banned book by the Empire." Tzeentach is content
"I fell asleep on the toilet while reading it." Nurge is content
"I had sex with the book." Slaanesh is kinda into that
To be honest, Slaanesh might be into anything
while praising khorne, it would be normal to beat someone, but a book would be one of the last reasons for it
@@funkydown He won't be happy its over a book, but if you go full on bloody murder hobo while doing it he won't mind.
@@gabrielamaral978 slannesh just be opening furaffinity and choosing randomly from the homepage to be like "yeah this my fetish for the week"
@@sovietunion7643 lmao
I think the big thing with Tzeench is that he expects his followers to be ambitious. Ahriman may despite Tzeench, and work to oppose and possibly even overthrow him, but I think that very audacity and ambition is why Tzeench grants him such boons. Someone who follows all the doctrines of Tzeench rather than seeking to exploit those rules for their own ends might be little better than a gutless lapdog, so the transformation to a chaos spawn is almost fitting punishment.
True because the Changer of Ways likes progress total obedience is stagnation. This is why he cursed the Scarab Occult with the Rubric despite them being powerful psykers because they lacked ambition and were complacent in his eyes.
Yeah this is the one thing I don't like when people say Tzeentch is just totally random or fucking around and in it for a laugh (I know in MKs videos he's mostly meme'ing it but it's still a common sentiment) when there's actually a pretty obvious connection between almost everyone Tzeentch blesses. And it's that they're trying to do something most would consider mad or impossible. Of course there are examples of this failing but I don't think this is so much Tzeentch being random as it is it deciding that the individual lacks whatever is necessary to accomplish their goal. He could of course given them a gift to help them towards this but I think he wants to see that the person actually has potential before that. Say someone decided they wanted to create a whole new group of Primarchs, that's certainly ambitious but if they don't even know the first step Tzeentch isn't going to be impressed and probably monkey paw them. But if that person at the very least is able to take the first few steps on their own Tzeentch recognizes they hold potential and that with greater knowledge they may go on to do even crazier shit than they already planned. His actions seem random because we're viewing this metric from a mortals perspective while a god is making the actual choice.
So the best way to appease Tzeentch is to actively plan and scheme to undermine him? Yeah that sounds something that would tickle his tentacles
@@finnheisenheim8274 I'd say it's less trying to undermine him and more bringing change while being ambitious about it, so for example, taking a imperial world that's thought to be impenetrable would count as significant tactical change and would help further the goals of chaos as a whole
Kinda like a Sith. Rivalry is expected.
I had the hardest time understanding Tzeentch as a faction, until I realized something: none of the Chaos gods have motives that are that deep. Khorne wants to kill things, Nurgle wants to decay things, Slaanesh wants excessive pleasure. None of them have a plan beyond "we want more, go do it."
Tzeentch doesn't have some shadowy plan for a set end-goal we can't see, Tzeentch just wants to change things. He has no end goal, because that's not what Chaos gods are about- they don't want it all, they want _more._ Tzeentch just wants things to be different, however they are now. And once they're different, he wants them changed again. All his plans, all his schemes and information gathering are for that.
You begin, I see, to grasp at the threads dangling from The Weaver of Fate's loom.
There's no "end-game" for The Changer of Ways. An "end" is a Nurglite thing, something static and unmoving.
The Great Game is played for the Great Game's own sake.
For He had already won, yet allowed Himself to be Broken so the Game could continue. Now He's sent his Scribes to collect His Words so He can break the current stalemate and allow a new stage of the Great Game to begin.
His Plans are Multitude and they collapse under their own complexity. Yet the joy is in the planning, not really in it's successful implementation.
And that just pisses me off the most. That Tzeentch, for all his knowledge, power, sight and wisdom, truly HAS NO PLAN!!
He purely does shit for the sake of "That's a thing I could do". Everything that makes sense, he will and won't do. He'd give his most loyal follower the gift of chocolate milk mix and then turn right around and give a begger the secrets of the cosmos just for the hell of it.
He is a literal asshole of godlike proportions.
@@Crazieyboy15 Slaanesh and Tzeentch are very similar in that regard, Tzeentch doesn't want the great game to end because it is fun, he never wants to win something, he never wants things to stay the same, because it is fun to seek that knowledge, Slaanesh is always seeking that next high, that next hit. They both want to feel good, they go about it in different ways, but they are quite similar in some ways.
@@Crazieyboy15 “lol” said Tzeentch, “lmao”
@@Crazieyboy15wait, are you telling me that the choccy milk he gave me wasn't better than the knowledge of the universe?
Nurgle: you get what you want at huge cost
Khorne: you get what you want at extremely high cost
Tzeentch: you get totally opposite of what you want
Slaanesh: you get what you want in a way you definitely don’t want
For Tzeentch you need to calculate what both sides of the coin are before you make a deal. Quite logical.
Hahahahhahahah, great analogy
Malal/Malice: if you want to destroy everything & everyone then yield to oblivion because your dead inside anyway.
LOL. Beautifully said.
Would like but at 666 likes
"You should never grade evils, Kruber. For if one is the worst, then you might be tempted to kinship with the least"
-Victor Saltzpyre
I wish the darktide charactes had as much personality as the ubersrike 5. Or 4 whatever.
My friend group just got into this game and damn the dialogue is great! I love Saltzpyre lol, so dramatic
When forced to choose between two evils I would choose the lesser of the two for that in the future the evil will be diminished as it simply isn’t chosen
@@XxCamoman12xX
By Sigmar this man is telling the truth
Slaanesh for fun, Khorne for power, Nurgle for eternal life and happiness, Tzeench if you enjoy going insane.
Tzeench is just all of the add and adhd thoughts incarnate
Good way to miss the point of slaanesh
jokes on you I'm already insane
I fucking hate slaanesh
Warhammer fans having no reading comprehension and missing the point of slaanesh entirerly for "Lol sex" will never not be funny cause they are also the exact same people who would join slaanesh cause Lol sex then have their dick put through a pencil sharpener
I think Tezznch just wants more powerful players to go up against in his great game. Also I'm sure the followers who are scheming against him probably give him more power than those who sit there and praise him.
The greater the scheme the greater the rewards to Tzeentch, and what greater scheme than against the Schemer himself
69 likes, make a wish!
So he wants professional Yugi-oh players then? Got it.
Tzeentch: Give me stronger battles!
Dude the way this guy pronounces it irritates me like do some basic ass research
"The most un-fuckable thing in the galaxy"
Slaanesh: "Is that suppose to be a challenge?"
I mean... they're probably made to be the most fuckable things in the galaxy if u ingore the fact they wanna crush your balls since that's kinda their thing.
Become a follower of Nurgle and go spread your STDs in Slaneesh ranks: pro gamer move.
@@grandsome1 slaanesh's followers probably have aids juice as a soft drink.
@@grandsome1 and that's why these two hate each other. Nurgle just ruins all the fun for Slaanesh. .
@@zahylon5993 but Slaanesh keeps trying anyway
Like eternal blueballs
Actually, Ahriman shows how Tzeentch can be a good option. You sell your soul to it, and then try to thwart them at every turn. He will grant you boons.
Imagine if you did this and Tzeentch was just like “nice try, lol” and forced you join Khorne or something instead
@@insertnamehere9718 that sounds exactly like what Raven God would love to do
Grandfather Nurgle is the coolest! When you visit him he proudly shows you the endless rooms of his kingdom, containing all known plagues (this could take years, by the way). When your tour is over, you might get sent home with a custom-engineered plague for your people!
"I went to papa nurgles super aids factory and got to see the gift shop on the way out" vibes
Certain viruses in specialized conditions can evolve and mutate in months, as opposed to years. If you like plague go be a scientist, it's more optimizing than serving NG
5th Option: Chaos Undivided, play all the gods off of each other, abbadon, and perterabo basically do this and it infuriates the chaos gods, they outbid each other to attract talent. Now you have to be able to attract the favors of all the gods at once but its not impossible
Or just be a Night Lord and tell the gods to fuck off because you're doing it for your own sadistic fun
That, or join Malice.
I couldn't even play off my mum and dad let alone 5 gods of chaos
I'd debate whether Perterabo is actually undivided. In fact Iron warriors in general are fairly pragmatic for a chaos aligned faction I generally tend to see them seeing demons as generally useful but not necessarily objects of worship.
The problems with that is that you need to both:
A) Be a hyper talented ubermench among supersoldiers.
B) Be a calculating bastard who is able to perfectly balance the demands of 4 eldritch abominations.
If you fail to balance things, or if it turns out you're not quite hot shit, then you end up as the punching bag for all four chaos gods. aka probably the worst possible fate in the universe.
Nurgle is the much safer choice, if you genuinely are forced to pick.
Basically:
Tzeentch Is dumping all your money into Crypto.
Nurgle is investing your money in the stock market.
Khorne is deciding that you're going to mug people for a living.
Slanesh is deciding that you're going to make, sell, and use Meth.
And Chaos Undivided is spending all your money on lottery tickets.
@@CatacombD Ah yes, Night Lords are so calculating and considering of the feelings of the gods that their psykers personally tell each chaos god individually to go fuck themselves when they try to sway them.
Khorne: my followers are my warriors.
Tzeentch: my followers are my game pieces.
Nurgle: my followers are my family.
Slanesh: my followers are my *censored* cEnSoRed “censored” CENSORED!
Tzeentch: ... Being traumatized wasn't part of all of my plans...
Nurgle: I hope my kids don't hear that EVER.
Khorne: And once again, this is why I hate you.
Chaos undivided enjoyer:☝😮😐😶 nope, back to heretek, who knows they create something funny with vashtor, i remember we've been get some archotech before
To be honest I didn’t even consider Nurgle until the part where he said that you don’t feel the pain of Nurgle’s gifts and to be honest I would like to be apart of something that I am valued in both by my god/gramps and fellow followers. Plus I think it would be cool to go to Nurgle’s garden and see all of the life that blossoms there. I’d love to here the opinions of those who’d chose different factions and their reasoning for it.
Khorne for strength, I don't have to be as dedicated in killing as other people, i simply just need to stay loyal to some extent that i get good gifts of strength, muscle and heightened senses but not lost much of the necessary part of my mind. Though I won't like having to kill things frequently.
Khorne but not for the blessings of strength and power but for the freedom.
In the 40k universe it is laws and restrictions this, good vs evil that, politics and religion and planning blah blah blah. Every day there is a new bad guy and a new good guy and some universe ending event it's all very confusing and hard to keep up with.
Khorne just wants blood. Simple. Everything else is up to you, he doesn't restrict you in any other way unless you start actively rejecting him. Freedom and the gift of strength to reject others oppression sounds pretty damn good to me. I'd just roam around the galaxy ignoring all the drama and just fighting the biggest, nastiest things I could find. A big skull is worth way more than 1000 little weak ones, after all.
The rouge champion of the blood god, just having a good time with it.
Tzeentch knowledge is pretty nice and i already like to study and unless i fuck up and get turned into a chaos spawn i am not getting any true drawback
I love Nurgle for his wholesomeness. Although I do love constant change due to boredom, ultimately I think I’d be happier and more at peace with Papa Nurgle. Always needed a strong father figure in my life lol
I’d honestly still join Khorne because it’s the gamer route - you always crave a higher kill streak each battle and unlike Slaanesh and Tzeentch you’re not getting stabbed in the back. Plus, the bloodlust can be managed if we go by the Blood Pact and some Warbands focusing more on martial prowess.
EDIT: Yes you’ll get stabbed in the face by other followers, but it’s basically the equivalent of going into a 1v1 match. Better gamer always wins. You get killed? Skill issue.
Based statement
You please me, brother. May the gods smile on you
Hardcore gamers: try to receive exalted status with the Ruinous 4 as a member of Chaos Undivided.
Insane 100% completionists: as well get exalted with the Malal, Hashut and the Great Horned Rat.
If completed, try to woo some C'tans, Eldar God's, Jimmy Space Gorkamorka, Elven and Dwarven Gods, Nagash, Lightning McHammer... you catch the drift.
Meanwhile I'm doing easy mode by picking Nurgle. And receive Nurglings and Beasts of Nurgle on Top of that, now that's a no-brainer.
I'm almost sold, but will Khorne let me say the N word?
Im a gamer and i would go for nurgle: i'd sit for hours on end playing games like plague inc or modded minecraft
I would sell my soul to Majorkill. You gain the knowledge of Warhammer, the excess for torturing Timmy, the gift of Warhammer Hentai and the skills of his martial arts.
no soul is not worth the 1 dollar his patreon costs
But you loose attention of females...
Ok there´s only positives
@@Ballin4Vengeance s'truth
@@DlOisDOOMSCROLLING You ain´t seen my soul yet
What is he a black belt in Jiujitsu?
"You should never grade evils, for if one is the worst, then you might be tempted to kinship with the least"
-Grimgi
Now if you're excuse me, I gotta go because I'm still in the virus bomb's blast radius
Sell your soul to Malice. Be the chaos equivalent of a straight up troll.
In a nutshell
You can either go for the raging gamer Chaos God with super strength
Go for the very confused Chaos God who might prank you with tentacles
The punk Chaos God who makes you way too addicted to anything
Or Grandpa who is always proud of you
Well... Slaanesh is out because for all the depravities and excess you'll just feel ever unsatisfied.
Khorne is not a good deal unless you already are a bloodthirsty psychopath.
Leaves Tzeentch and Nurgle. Tzeentch quite possibly has the best perks out of the bunch but he also might throw you under the bus at any given time just because he's a backstabbing bastard.
Nurgles "perks" are objectively horrible unless you always wanted to get hyper-aids. Then again, Nurgle is the only one out of the four who actually cares for his worshippers. For a chaos god, he's a genuinely nice fella. And odds are, if you actually do commit yourself to Nurgle, you'll actually start appreciating all of his gifts anyways.
No wonder many of the Chaos fanboys either go for Nurgle or Chaos Undivided
Slaanesh probably has the better reward, but Nurgle is less risky. Nurgle will reduce chances of dying with his "Gifts" and so better overall chance of becoming a Daemon Prince.
Well I mean the state of the galaxy as it is already seems like a playground if your a khorney boi.
@@kazansky22 honestly khorne seems like the best
I'd definitely go with Nurgle. Once you are infected you don't care and don't feel pain anyway. Also it looks like a right laugh in the Garden with all your mates.
Tzeench is just doing a lil trolling, thats his lore, just a lil trolling
I actually love the idea of being a follower of Nurgle. He has such a nice, bubbly personality
Nurgle: Immortality and companionship at the cost of your body
Khorne: Power at the cost of your mind
Slaanesh: Pleasure at the cost of your dignity and body
Tzeentch: Get turned into a weird mutated creature
Chaos Undivided: Plenty of power and freedom, at a careful balance
Wouldn't Tzeentch offer vast knowledge and magical ability at the cost of your physical form? Something tells me you're not a fan of Tzeentch to begin with :P
Indeed, just read about Word Bearers. You'd be a horrible monster, but YOU choose what colour of your t-shirt you are wearing. Just be sure not to turn into Fury!
Chaos Undivided: Lose 12 Black Crusades in ten thousand years before actually managing to destroy a planet
I'm all in on Slaanesh, I HAVE NO DIGNITY!
Im in for khorne, there is no reason, we kill and we slaughter so that khorne may revel in our bloodshed
There was an Oldhammer story where, I forget the exact circumstances, but (a priestess of?) the goddess Shallya stopped a Nurgle warband in their tracks by dumping cure-magic into the Chaos Lord to the point of redeeming and restoring the Reiksguard Templar he was before he caught magicovid, and he turned on his warband.
And I was like... "is this a joke about Knights of the Old Republic?"
😭💀💀💀
Khorne sounds like the easiest one to try and balance as long as you kill enough to be seen as loyal but not enough for your mind to go Insane but if it does you get a chance to become a massive blood princes
I think the appeal of immortality cannot be denied, but without sanity it's all for naught. Nurgle is the least sanity affecting one, and since we're all destined to grow old and rot, i find his gifts more palatable so to speak
Same here
Okay, so Khorne is choleric, Tzeench has ADHD, Nurgle has alliergies, and Slaanesh is possesive.
Malice is the schizophrenic outcast
@@thespecter6416 nah. Malal Just has the joker complex.
Bring as chaotic as possible for no reason at all.
I read that as slaanesh is positive, wich it is in all the wrong ways
Nurgle is allergies
Slaanesh has every single STD at once, Tzeench has borderline personality disorder and probably schizophrenia, Khorne is just completely insane, and Nurgle has Hyper-AIDS
Slaanesh: "I will literally torture you for eternity."
Khorne: "I will literally kill you."
Tzeench: "I'll trick you into getting the worst fate possible just for a laugh."
Nurgle: "Would you like a hug from your stinky old grandfather? I pissed myself earlier, don't mind the smell."
Ngl i would prefer Khorne.
@@platinumchromee3191 eh, to each their own
@@migarsormrapophis2755 who would you choose?
@@IamaPERSON Oh, Granpa Nurgle all day. I'd be singing songs in my croaky awful voice and summoning up the dead ones with all my Nurgle bros, and enjoying all the suffering and whatnot. Might even wear my own entrails like a cool scarf. There's only one _jolly_ chaos god. All the rest are either insane, psychotic, and don't care the least bit about their followers.
@@migarsormrapophis2755 neat! Personally, I’d choose Khorne. The universe is an endless, insane battlefield, so why not join the slaughter?
Mister tentacles and forbidden knowledge isn't so bad. Just gotta keep him entertained and constantly change your goals so you're most likely to end up on the good side of the coin that day.
Man that sounds stressful.
"Which chaos god is the best to pledge allegence to?"
it's the emperor of course
That's way deeper than you think it is
If I HAD to pledge to one of the Chaos Gods, I'd choose Nurgle, he is the only one that can give you something akin to peace.
No excess, no unquenchable rage, no bullshit galaxy brain overly complicated schemes to fuck you up specifically because Tzeench woke up this morning and felt like it.
Just peacefully rotting away in his gardens, its the best outcome you can hope for if you sell your soul to hell.
You don’t need to be a good schemer to serve Tzeentch. You just need to he clever enough to try.
Hail Grandpappy Nurgle!
Here’s the problem though. You HAVE to be happy. Magic is necessary for you to feel comfortable. If it was to run out for some reason then you are in for the most horrible death possible. So you need to extend the influence of Nurgle to new followers who in turn need to contaminate new people to secure their own “healthcare system”. It’s a ponzi scheme no different from being miserable and wanting everyone to be as miserable as you are.
@@alicemodeus7050 BUT, you feel happy. Of course its fucked up, this is still Chaos we are talking about but the others never really give you a sense of happyness or fulfillment, at least not for long.
@@alicemodeus7050 you say that like it's a bad thing! Why wouldn't I want everyone to be as happy as I am with Grandfather Nurgle's blessings?
Imagine in far future where 40k universe becomes real. You're considering on joining the Chaos Gods, and you proceed to go to youtube and types "Best Chaos god to pledge" and uses this video as reference
*adds video to “Life Tips” playlist *
*you get fucking sniped by an inquisitor halfway across the planet you're on*
@@RubexQewb "damn this will come in handy for my exams"
You already know the grey knights and the inquisition would have that search term and countless others bookmarked for... termination calls.
Yes Inquisitor... This video right here 🤣
Is it bad that if I don’t choose chaos undivided I’d immediately join Slaanesh
probably.
I mean, understandable, considering all the temptations.
8:38 just called Nurgle a virgin. xD
Not exactly on point, but my head cannon is that Gork and Mork would cut a deal with Khorne to (1) enslave all sentient beings other than Orks to Khorne (2) then have a damn near eternal krump-fest between the two factions. They would put aside this eternity war to fight the necrons and nids whenever they got too upity.
This would be the best thing to ever happen in warhammer, but did you know there already is an ork warband that has a battle to eternity with some demons
@@willem_____3253 yep. If the three gods ever take a break from fighting, it will probably be to watch the murderfest.
In the Lord of Silence book. “About the Deathguard” Dantine had his heart removed by Vorx and he was still alive and didn’t understand how or why. Vorx then tells him “there are many things you don’t understand” then after sometime. Dantine felt comfortable.
Ll
Wtf...........is that it?
@@balorthedreamer6792 that it about what?
@@balorthedreamer6792 if you want to know more about that. Then I recommend reading the book. It’s a good book. Both Dantine and Vorx had a long conversation. So I didn’t want to type all of it lol
@@BearerWill17 Umm, thanks. Just a really weird excerpt.
Chaos is like a shitty highway that will take you to a horrible place no matter which route you take, but I'd have to say the most practical out of the four is Khorne since you get a boost in strength and determination to survive the horrible odds of the galaxy where there is literally only war, while at the cost of sanity and being given a chronic addiction to blood and murder.
With Khorne you are either completely devoted to his cause of he forces you to be completely devoted to his cause, be completely devoted by choice and you eventually become a deamon prince eventually
There is a reason why the Death Guard is the only traitor legion (next to the Word Bearers and the Black Legion) that has kept its form as a legion.
you mean the two different Death Guard legions…..
@@Dadecorban what
@@mr.fantastic7756 One half is under the command of typhus (ex first captain iirc) and the other half is under command of morti.
Typhus and Morti don't like each other that much anymore.
didn't iron warriors also kept most of their legion form
@@tsioulak No. As far as I've noticed, they have been divided into different warbands like e.g. the Night Lords or the World Eaters.
Slaanesh is the most intriguing to me because of what it is (40k). Seriously, have you ever taken a step back and thought about it? An immortal Alien Chaos god of literal hell, birthed from 5000 years of degeneracy. Seemingly innocent things like enjoying yourself, your life, love, happiness and passion will lead you down the path of damnation, without you even knowing it.
The best way to go.
I agree.
It is so-so, with an edge towards NO. There are things that Slaneesh seems to find "boring",. Also it may have happened in some obscure lore. But the things you mention do not seem to interest Slaneesh. Slaneesh enjoys the "twisted" versions of that. For Slaneesh to be birthed, the Eldar (Who had existed for millions of years) needed five thousnad years of blood orgies.
@@facundogonzalez1277 Yeah, I am no expert on 40k lore but from listening to MajorKill and Baldermort their lore videos, it is pretty clear that the Eldar behaved as total sick fucks for a few thousands of years. That is also why the Drukhari consider themselves to be the True Eldar, as they never gave up their hedonism and instead 'perfected' it.
Kind of not really? I mean Eldar can enjoy themselves and can be quite passionate without insta self yeeting to Slaanesh. I mean just looking at the path lifestyle and its clear there is a lot of patience and passion to dedicate. Its the rampant expression of it thats the problem. Kind of like the difference between a Grateful Dead concert where the contact high spreads for miles and miles while everything develops that dank smell vs a chilled out local vista concert. One is just too much.
So you’re telling me that if I follow Khorne on the low-key then I become a hunk and a better fighter and I’m less susceptible to being bamboozled? I’m sold.
“That is like asking which kind of brain cancer I prefer. I am to busy screaming and frothing at the mouth to answer.”
I feel like, if you're a guardsman fighting against Chaos, the best god to worship would be Malice... parts of his identity are really cool but the way he was redconned and worked out was kinda shit.
Hatred of Chaos still empowers Chaos. Malice would be a good “ally” for the Imperium… until Chaos is on the back end, and then Malice flips.
rights and writer lawsuits are capable of overcoming even chaos gods
@@AsbestosMuffins Lawyers: the true rulers of hell
@@michellewilt4479 I mean
Satan is the accuser
So Satan is literally a lawyer
@@gamingweeb2-842 hahaha I love that.
If I had to pledge one of Chaos Gods I would pledge to God-Emperor
The Emperor protects
That sounds like heretical language
@The Dark Hour au contraire, praying to the Emperor is the highest form of Not-Heresy (and the way they phrased the statement isn't implying the Emperor is a Chaos God, I tells ya Mr Inquisitor)
Long live the emperor. The one who protects, though I would be careful brother that sounds awfully close to hearsay and I would love to get my flamer.
he isn't a chaos god but pledging yourself to warp gods is an interesting concept. what if a human starts worshipping Gork and Mork?
10:25 i was just thinking about this exact same question. I gotta admit, having 2 tentacles extruding fron your back with you having extra strength, freling really happy and being immune to pain sounds amazing
Id say
a Chaos Undivided Heretek
but i would definitly struggle with the balance
slipping into slaanesh`s embrace sounds like something REALLY difficult to resist
I always figured Nurgle winning wouldn't actually change much for the mortals of the galaxy besides making them all ugly.
I mean... the only real DOWNSIDE to Nurgle is that there is a chance your bodily rot might effect your brain but it doesn't necessarily by default. (And even if it did you'd probably love it)
If everyone was infected by Nurgle then they wouldn't even be able to judge eachother for being ugly. Plus, Nurgle genuinely loves and cares for his subjects. He really just wants diversity in life, just to a ridiculous degree.
Based grandad.
It's not just about the rot and appearance, it's that Nurgle would make life meaningless.
Under him, we'd never feel sadness or pain, but what is the point of an eternal life of happiness? That would just be existing for the sake of existing.
Contrary to what Nurgle may want, we NEED sadness and pain to give happiness and joy meaning. We NEED and end to our lives to give life meaning.
Nurgle's "peace" is just stagnation. Nothing more.
@@Crazieyboy15 you may need sadness and pain to give your life meaning, but that is your opinion.
@@Crazieyboy15 that’s already the case lmfao there is no such thing as meaning, it is inherently made up and completely subjective.
Also yeh all organism exist for the sake of existing otherwise they wouldn’t exist
@@saosaqii5807 Okay, so this statement is either nihilism or a very poor attempt to sound intelligent.
You can't say "There is no such thing as meaning" and then in the same sentence say "Meaning is subjective". That's idiotic. Yes, the meaning of one's life is subjective and up tot he individual, so what's all this talk about it being meaningless?
Also, pal, an organism can exist beyond just "Existence". That, too, is an idiotic comment. As stated before, you can give life meaning on a whim. It's not just "existing". -_-
@@saosaqii5807
Wouldn’t the very statement that there is “no such thing as meaning” be a meaning of life?
If there is no meaning to life. How were you able to come to such a conclusion?
If life truly has no meaning. You discovered it has no meaning.
Then the meaning of life is to discover that it has no meaning. Which would make it a contradictory statement.
Tzeentch in AoS has a much clearer objective, he wants the realm of Chamon and his followers are corrupt mages wielding power to bring his daemons to the realm. At least that's his short term goal, but the damn dwarves stand against him. Also he does the whole Mcbeth thing where he'll make it so you cannot be struck down, only for a dwarf to dump a vat of acid on you, not technically striking you down, but killing you all the same
Yeah, but the thing is, for all his knowledge, power and schemes, Tzeentch HAS NO PLAN!!!
It all just shits and giggles for him. Everything that makes sense, he will and won't do. He'd give his most loyal follower the gift of chocolate milk mix and then turn right around and give a begger the secrets of the cosmos just for the hell of it.
He's an asshole of godlike proportions.
@@Crazieyboy15 Aka the Indecisive Mollusk with massive nerd insecurity issues
"you can't sit there in confusion scratching your balls and then sniffn the hand you just scratched them with"
Shows what you know
It’s like joining the military.
Titsnitch - Air Force
Slaanesh - Navy
Khorne - Marines
Nurgle - Army
Personally, I like Khorne's honesty the most. I like to know what and whom I'm working with.
Khorne's a straight shooter. He won't dick you over for jokes, murderfuck you into oblivion or make you a walking pile of shit. He just wants skulls for his throne and blood to be spilled. He doesn't care whose blood it is, either. So long as it flows.
@@SSD_Penumbra Being dicked over for jokes, provided that you've proved yourself enough to not be dicked over to the extent that you're no longer able to play in the Great Game, doesn't seem that bad. He won't dick you over for disobeying him; he'll dick you over for being uninteresting
Same
Ngl, Tzeench is my pick, because even tho I have the chance of becoming a chaos spawn, I still have a small chance of becoming a dope space wizard with a ton of knowledge
Honestly I'd pick nurgle simply because he seems to acutaly care for you and you get to be happy and part of a community why the other ones yes have big boons but they all seem to have huge drawbacks to really mess you up
It's great as long as you're not trying to get laid
You know what they say, when life gives you lemons, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
If you choose tzeentch just bully him as much as possible and he’ll be like
“Damm you’ve got the balls to fuck with me that’s pretty funny”
Without having watched yet I'd rank it Nurgle, Khorne, Tzeentch, Slaanesh.
Slaanesh is by far the worst, ironically there's no pleasure to be had as you eventually become numb to all experience or the plaything to higher beings, Tzeentch seems it would lead to paranoia as the concern of constant schemes and efforts of others would play on your mind.
Khorne might be brutal, but it has an honest directness to it and at the very least isn't cruel; it is violent, bloodthirsty and destructive but not sadistic and for a warlike worshipper a state of constant battle isn't actually that bad.
Nurgle applies arguably some of the worst suffering, however also seems to induce a masochistic mindset so that suffering becomes a boon; you'll live in a hell of constant unending decay, pain, suffering and degradation... but for their follows what more could you ask for?
You don't feel pain as Nurgle follower. You will just peacefully rot.
Tzeentch, Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh
Fix that for you. No need to thank me.
For papa Nurgle!
@@brickofbruh1236 don't forget nurgle loves you
nurgles followers are immune to pain
I would go with khorne because you really don’t have to think much just punch.
Not really you would do well to think how to survive so you can spill blood again and again ,only when you reach karn levels of power you can then stop thinking.
@@Assassin5671000 Well not much other than survival other than that I feel it’s one of the simplest.
Same with nurgle really, just hang around with the homies with no need to shower and living in eternal bliss and happiness
@@eliaspanayi3465 nurgle is a close second for me.
@@oecmnnncxzo7796 nah, with khorne you still gotta think. Martial prowess aint easy. Nurgle though? Literally just scratch someone and you’re spreading that influence
Definitely Slaanesh. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll and probably some crazy incredible genre of otherworldly music that no mortal being could ever dream of composing.
I do not mind becoming a horrid amalgamation for Papa Nurgle, plus, I’ll see it as a gift eventually.
Tzeetch once tortured and sealed away one of his closest daemons for speaking a single truth in his presence. But by definition as the lord of deceptions and secrets, there was no way for the daemon to know which of the things he said was the thing that resulted in his punishment.
That doesn't make sense though, since the best and most complex deceptions in all of history ALWAYS have elements of truth mixed in.
@@Sporkmaker5150 that's probably the real reason he got locked away, he didn't actually utter a single truth, resulting in his lies being transparent, a complete insult to his master.
Or perhaps it was for an entirely different reason all together or for no reason at all, and the whole legend is a lie.
This comment and replies are the exact reason why the Alpha Legion are the most effective.
@@anotter321 but how can you be sure it is due to the alpha legion? I mean...
Tzeentch obviously. I can run around throwing random spells, have no idea what they do and if I inevitably fuck up I can just say it's all according to plan and slap some poor sod with a tentacle I have instead of an arm
I'd choose khorne.
I wouldn't care about anything, just fight all the time all while lookibg like a chadly doom slayer.
Honestly what is wrong with having a tentacle arm when you are able to cast more complicated sigils with it?
It might look horrid but in Tzeentch's mind he gave you something even better. It's all about perspective I guess.
Khorne if i get built in speakers for my armor to blast heavy metal.
I love how you say tzeetch keep up the humour
7:12 watching this stoned as fuck you gave me a mini-heart attack there
Always love to play with Tzeentch. He reacts so violently when I once again spoil his plans. He is so cute angry ^^
?
@@sicthemutt wouldn't you like to know khorne boy
You're profile name and pic tells a lot about why you posted this
@@ludios5491 need big rock to commit khorne
@@loowick4074 unga bunga your head is forfeita!
Nurgle is the best one by far.
Purely because you don't notice the negatives, in fact they become positives
Plus you can get a pet Nurgling to keep you entertained during downtime.
I raise you; Khorne.
You become a rage-fueled behemoth that can die, sure, but it's gonna take a lot.
I don't see how anyone would want Nurgle. The "Peace" he offers is nothing but a lie. Under him, you'd feel no pain or sadness. But what's the point of an existence of unending rot and happiness.
We NEED pain and sadness for joy and happiness to have meaning. And we NEED to have an end to our lives for living to have any meaning.
Nurgle's promise is just an eternity of...meaningless existence.
@@Crazieyboy15 Or, you could die as a faithful Imperial citizen and just get tortured and consumed by Nurglites or whatever daemons capture your soul in the warp anyways. From a biological point of view, the happiness we feel is chemical stimuli in response to something, and Nurgle offers that feeling 24/7, so why not take it? Death is not the end in Warhammer, so might as well take the happiest or at least most stable and comfortable option for the long-term.
If Slaneesh is about taking heroin or meth, then Tzeench is about taking a acid trip, you never know where your will end up, it could be the best place in the universe, or the worse
This nurgle fella doesn’t seems so bad
Pledge yourself to Gork and Mork. You will have more fun than Slanessh can give you, more fight than Khorne can throw at you, more OP magic shenanigans than that fuck tzeench have and have greener skin than a Nurgle follower.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
i was looking for this comment
what happens when humans follow Gork and Mork? Like if a whole hive world just up and said "Ya know, them orks seem to be having way more fun than anything else in the universe. Let's see what this Gork and Mork have to offer us"
Let's go boyz!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!
Digganobz. Digganobz happen
If i were a guardsman, and life decides that i will be seen as a taritor to the big E, i would just simply (and as quietly as possible) join the T'au.
Not chaos, doesn't soulrape, provides good healthcare, a golden life and uberhigh quality goods.
Based.
@Skibidoop literally the best place to be in 40k as a human.
Don't forget blue waifus in gundams.
*gigachad music*
What if you're stuck on the other
Side of the galaxy from the Tau empire?
Is there a way to meet them outside of segmentum Ultima.....asking for a friend. :)
Damn it looks like I have always been a Nurgle follower but without the "loving yourself as you are" part
Always ask my friend what god he would choose and I gotta say Nurgle being the most logical...I mean your gonna die and rot inevitably and time erodes all things in the end.
And he actually cares about his followers so sure you might have space aids but its gonna be like being party of a unsightly to look st but big family.
The ebst thign about Tzeentch is that despite his prowess for seeing the future, he could literally win against the Imperium of Man quite easily and take over, but he doesn't. Tzeentch is here for the fun, and if he wins and dominates, the fun is over, so he intentionally fucks up his plans to continue the eternal battle for fun.
9:22 Nurgle: "Soon enough, the Anathema won't stand the succulent itching... *SLUURP* In his decaying body anymore."
Just make me Unbroken and let me spread the blessings of Daddy Nurgle until the end of time.
This is what happens when a basic cultist gets a leaflet of the Ruinous Powers and makes a presentation.
i would try for Chaos undivided then kill Abbadon to become the new Warmaster of Chaos,
then eventually search out The Sons of Malice chapter to join them with the black legion and all the Chaos warbands i can get.
move to remove the ruinous powers as much as i can,
then assualt tera and mars, destroy the golden throne,
absorb the imperium as much as i can into my control,
Become Supreme conqueror of the universe,
Burn it all down and remake in my imagine like a 40K(or even 50k) version of god,
then make a tabletop game out if it :D
Sounds like a fucking plan im with you there
You son of a bitch, I'm in.
Sign me up
You had me at kill Abbadon
That sounds like the best plan ever to surrender the whole galaxy to the Tyranids. I'm in.
Always loved tzeentch, and still love him. I don’t care if he turns me into some hanime tentacle monster for a good laugh, the slim chance that I can become a chaotic space mage will never not be worth it for me
And once he turns you into an anime tentacle monster....well there's always slaanesh at that point :p
@@3ggh3ad no
@@3ggh3ad You really don't need Slaanesh. If you want to go tentacle-orgy-fun-time, there's no Tzeentch rule against it. You just need to do so as part of some grant scheme. Seduce the princess of some feudal world to sow dissent and overthrow the governor. Or pretend to be a xeno and set up an 'extra-kinky' brothel on one of the more comfortable worlds, allow it to be discovered after a few years, and watch the community tear itsself apart when all the fabricated entries in the bookkeeping imply half the ruling class were regular customers. Something like that. And when you're done with your lover, either stab them in the back or induct them into the cult too. Scheming is a full-time job, but there's no reason you can't have fun while you're at it.
The patron god of gamblers
That sounds like something Slaanesh will do, not Tzeentch
“Chaos undivided”
👓
“For the team”
Everyone be saying about wich chaos god they'd join, and here is my dumbass thinking "Ima join the tyranids!"
If any Chaos gods got ahold of me, it would probably be either Khorne or Tzeench.
Khorne may be a brutal warmonger, but he's an Honest brutal warmonger.
And Tzeench can appeal to my enjoyment of anything thought provoking.
Yeah but what about the puss
If one chaos god were to take over the galaxy I would prefer it to be nurgle...think about it you could lead a "normal" life essentially if everything was nurglefied without the chaos god actively trying to screw you over.
Normal life with a life expactancy of about 20 lmao
@@stardestroyer19 no more like 500
@@slimboarder.o7 Have you read the Dark Imperium series? You get the POV of an average citizen, and its like a 13 year old Girl, which is middle age by their standards.
@@stardestroyer19 bruh we're talking about nurgle people obviously most people would just instantly die
@@slimboarder.o7 yeah, that's why I said life expactancy of 20 lmao
Is that a demoness? That is enough for me to sell my soul hahahahha
At least nurgle loves all his demons like kids the rest don't
For me it's khorne all the way.
Slanesh is definitely a close second, except for the whole crushing your balls for pleasure thing....
I mean unless you're into that kind of thing lol.
It's not that bad after a few times. 😉
Slaneesh is the worst one because more than any other chaos god it destroys your soul, sense of self and humanity.
@@carljohan9265 and?
Fuck Slaanesh
All my homies rip and tear in name of Khorne
Nurgle really is 'good'.The adeptus mechanicus and Imperium would kill half of humanity only to protec his interests or knowledge.However the other 3 demons are cruel intentional and no respect his own servers.Nurgle,on the other hand,even for the least form of life that follows him,would give his life(It is proven)and will keep you alive at all costs.(In exchange for being a living shit xd)
Not to mention that he saved an Eldar godess of healing who creates cures for his "gifts" which Nurgle is fine with as those are her gifts.
Nurgle is kind of an abusivo relationship though
@@isauldron4337 but safety xd(anywere i select Necrones with Tau)But like human....i don't know Nurgle is BEST than humanity
Khorne is literally the only way. Sure you become senseless, but you’re shredded, menacing, and super badass
Could always go with The Outcast Chaos God Malice (Malal) although no one will like you ever again but you’ll be able to take down the other chaos spawn-demons until you get killed.
Man-Emperor of Mankind: "That is like choosing which cancer I prefer dying to!"
Tzeentch: Brain cancer
Khorne: Leukemia
Slaanesh: Breast/testicular cancer
Nurgle: Bowel cancer
Slaanesh, without doubt. The level of passion in worshipping that can be to Slaanesh, is unattainable to any other god. Pleasure, joy and devotion - what can be more important?
Some random person: hey what Chaos god are you going to worship if this ever happens?
Me: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SCULLS FOR THE SCULL THROWN!
Me, who always pronounces it “ZEENCH”:
This dude:
“TIT-SNITCH”
Also, not all of Nurgles followers go full bloat. it depends which of his glorious gifts he's given you. Nurgles Rot is the one that makes you all unfuckable. But those with fatal diseases often pray to him, and those with chronic diseases as well. Anyone sick can feel Papa Nurgles love.
I would join nurgle so don’t have to use a mask while shopping.
Are you German by any chance?
Tzeench is my man. I'm already insane, might as well go all in
Well, apparently Slaanesh has been influencing me for a long time.
The best chaos God to sell your soul to is obviously the God-emperor of Mankind, just ask Saint Celestine
Not to be heretical or anything, but shes one in a gazillion
Just ask any space marine they will say as you say and then shoot you with boltgun for knowing chaos exist is heresy
Shup
"If you join Nurgle you get love, community, no suffering and eternal life, but you become the most unfuckable thing in the entire galaxy".
So becoming a follower of Nurgle basically means becoming a religious fanatic IRL!
reddit moment
Nurglova's witness
fair deal
>implying religious fanatics don't fuck
Dude you do know that religious fanatics usually breed like rabbits?
reddit moment
Tzeentch's ultimate goal is utterly unknowable. Perhaps the Great Game and even the destruction of the Old World are merely amusing diversions for the Great Schemer? The realisation of his greater plan, if he has one, is lost in the mists of the far future. His conspiracies often appear to be self-defeating and contradictory, for he has intricately planned each ineffable manoeuvre far into eternity. To even begin to unravel his intentions is to invite madness. Indeed it could be said that only the mad can truly understand the ways of the Great Schemer, for perhaps he is mad himself, and his plans are, in fact, utterly devoid of all reason.
Because of majorkill im now coming out of my 3 year streak of staying away from crack