This Bed Makes You Last Longer
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- čas přidán 22. 11. 2023
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![[Subbed] Cyanide & Happiness S04E05: The Curse of Time 【氰化欢乐秀】时间的诅咒](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RF8Mz_dbeoY/mqdefault.jpg)
As someone who works retail, I know the feeling. “Didn’t scan? Must be free!” “The money is real! I just printed it this morning!”
I’ve never heard the second one, I think it’s good.
I've heard the second about 3 thousand times. When someone pays with a 50 or a 100, you have to check them. Sometimes you get people who use the pen, but those can be fooled. So I check the electronic strip. If they get tampered with, they turn black. And they are unique. The only bills you don't check strip for are pre 90, as they didn't even have them then. But yeah. I must have heard, "I printed them last night" enough times to make me want to vomit.
*13-years-of-retail sigh*
“Be careful, the ink is still wet”.
@@bedgegog So did I, the first time I heard it. After you hear thousands of times (I wish I was exaggerating), it becomes annoying.
I know that feeling people used to say "No need to go to the gym" after I carried a lot of furniture for them.
Happened at least once a week some times 5 times a day or more.
And the customer always thought they were funny and original.
I don't get it
@@Penguinmanereikelthey probably move furniture for a living
@@Penguinmanereikel furniture is known to be heavy often.
@@Penguinmanereikel it was my job and "everyone" said the same thing
I'd probably say something similar, and say "you probably hear that all the time."
These beds are to die for with how comfortable they are!
As a person that works in a mirror maze, I totally relate to Jim. I have to pretend that "Haha if we get lost, will you be able to find us?" is so funny and original everytime some one says it
To be fair, it may be a sincere question
@almightyk11 yeah no I've been the one to ask it and it's 100% sincere, at least for me. Same with corn mazes tbh
As a person who is literally a mattress salesman.. I haven't had this even once.. What I do get are if I ask what they're sleeping on atm (as a casual way to get more info out of them) "...a mattress"- to which I say "OH!! is that what these are called..".
Or "I'm looking for a mattress am I in the right place?".
Tbf I love these customers because they are literally volunteering rapport, whereas I normally have to work for it.
I'd love to see the face they'd make if you answer them "no, and if you can try to find the 7 lost childs while youre in"
@@D3ADLOLO r/foundsatan
If you are working with customers, and there's an obvious joke each and every one of them is making and you have to pretend you never heard it before...
This one's for you. You are all heroes.
As a former cashier, I definitely felt this when an item didn’t ring up and I’d hear “welp, guess that means it’s free”
“These mattresses are very comfortable. You can ask this bod-, buddy….provided he wakes up anytime soon”
"Which I doubt he will anytime soon because he is DEAD... asleep. Dead asleep!"
This bed is so comfortable it'll make you sleep like the dead
I’m pretty sure this is how the C&H creators feel about people constantly making puns in the comments 😅
Underrated
Or saying stuff like "Sleep on it? Must be a Thursday! Hahahahaha I'm so original!"
@@heianwood6119k
We need a "the guy that could sleep on everything"-episode as an homage at the sitting guy.
You could say he made a "KILLING" with that sale
We really needed a post-credit scene where Jim is constantly suffocating people to make the others buy the beds
Why they have to title it like that tho 😂
Everything for the clicks
You know why 😂
The answer: you clicked and now you're here.
the mattress makes you last longer (more sleep = longer life)
lol@@sn1p1n
Reminds me of the "must be free" joke that drove me mad when I worked at Walmart
-checks bill for counterfeit-
"Just printed it this morning!"
That's when you counter with "only if you can beat security to the doors"
@@wesscoates5676 There is a store somewhere that said "if you can outrun this Olympic sprinter we have working for us, you can keep what you steal"
Cashier has trouble scanning an item for 2 seconds
"That means it's free right? ha ha!"
His little smile at 1:39 after finally making the aale just creases me XD
“Anything else?” “Yeah, a million dollars!” Vibes right here
I usually heard "lottery winning numbers", but I feel your pain.
Definitely feel this working in retail. The amount of times people have come over to my check stand when it was empty and said “you look bored so I thought I’d come over” is insane. On top of a dozen other recycled phrases that constantly shuffle through, all from different people
"It's not scanning, so it must be free!"
@@ThePickledsoul lord, that one too
I had an item not scanning once and I just, looked into the workers eyes and they looked into me for like, 5 seconds straight. I just grinned and said "don't worry, I won't say it" and they just laughed.
I aim to never be one of those people that say stupid ass jokes to workers.
I used to wash windows two days out of the week and at least once each day someone would walk by and would say "You missed a spot," and then they would chuckle to themself thinking they were being clever. I would usually respond with "I haven't heard that one before."
That guy is gonna be sleeping for a long time
Bed dealer going insane because customers keeps saying the same phrase over and over?
Must be a Thursday!
I’m still waiting for that Thursday with a splitter and a doubler.
like the grocery check stand "if it does not scan it must be free".
Me as a mailman working in the rain hearing "stay dry" from customers 8 million times per day
@@StiggyZardust Damn! You're one efficient Mailman!
Well, akshuly, Thursday was yesterday
In the bakery:
"How can I help you?"
"By giving me bread?😂"
"Right...very original."
This is the type of thing that makes a serial killer.
Reminds me of my friend, who works as a policeman. Every friday people get drunk and they have will be waved and stopped gazillion times 9 times out of 10 they open the car window and the drunken person says, "Hey officer, I just wanted to let you know, your car window is open." Then smile like madman and expect the officers to laugh at it. Apparently it gets old fast, or at latest after first 50 times :D
You'll be sleeping with the fishes!
He's sleeping so good that he'll never wake up
I'll be honest, I thought the joke here, from the title, was going to be a mattress that literally made you "last longer", as in it would slow down how fast you experienced time.
The episode would quickly turn into a psychological horror skit with meeting god or something at the end.
He lost his sanity whilst dreaming…
Truly the sleep of a salesman
"We're gonna have to sleep on it." The most haunting "dad joke" that any mattress salesperson has ever heard, possibly the ultimate salesperson villain arc.
From that day forward, Jim made a killing in the mattress business. You can't help but rest in peace on one of his mattresses.
Exactly how every banquet bartender feels when they hear "you can just take that to my car" while setting up our breaking down.
When the salesman finally snaps.
Omg so early you guys were my childhood fr😂
top 10 easiest ways to sell a matress
number 1:
Psychopath's are not born they're made.
There's a psychopath in all of us. All it takes is 1 jerk to press the right button to unleash it.
@@OnionChoppingNinja All it takes is one bad day
I think everyone in retail can relate to this 😂
Anyone who has ever worked in sales feels that man's pain
No more tears. Only Silence
He's a sleeper agent, that joke is his trigger
With the right technique, he's making a killing!
I clicked for the eventual twist & was not disappointed.
As someone who used to work in retail, you get the same jokes day after day after day. The amount of time I asked "would you like a bag" and someone responded with "no she's at home" haunts me years later.
When the credit card machine doesn't work the first time, "That means it's free, right? Riiight?" HAHAHA, no. It means we have to wait.
How cleaners feel when people say you've missed a spot.
@Inferno65
0 seconds ago
I thought it was gonna be like the mattress salesman promises the customer the bed will “make you last longer”, and the guy will buy it thinking that it’s built in such a way that he’ll be able to have sex longer. But then they reveal it’s an ancient cursed mattress that forces you to live for 1,000 years, unable to die. And by the end, the guy’s just a miserable old man who keeps failing to kill himself. Then he comes back to the mattress store to complain, but the salesman just replies that they don’t do refunds.
I like how his room is full of mattresses
The most tame C and H short yet it has an out of pocket title lol
I want the bed that makes me first longer. Winning is a good feeling.
Smh. Wrong way to look at it. You see, the right way to look at it is as a winner. And winners never lose. That's why I never lost my v card.
I work as a support agent over phones and live chats currently, ours is
"Is there anything else I can help you with whilst I'm here?"
"Oooh, perhaps the lottery numbers?"
Every time someone says this to me, I hope that they can hear the pain in my very forced laugh to maybe spare one of my colleagues the same fate.
Respond with, "You must be a comedian" and then they respond, "No!" then say, "That's why you're not funny."
I always have the last winning lottery numbers on a post it on my desk, just for that question.
@@d4m4s74 I hadn't considered that, haha
This bed I will "Die for! 😃"
0:12) Those are the eyes of a man who has heard this joke seven times in the past three hours.
"Gonna remove the body?"
"I don't know, gonna have to let me sleep on it 💀"
The "Rest In Peace" mattress store is happy to serve
I was waiting to see that couple sleep at night cuddling that corpse...
I thought the matress traps people who sleep on it
Remember kids, most salespeople have probably heard your puns about their work too many times already
Especially necromancers on bone puns
Hey, don't pick on Necromancers. Do you know how hard it is to raise a family these days?
@@hedgededge1436 Oh they got it soooo easy compared to us dead folk! Bone puns is nothing compared to all the dead puns and your possessions being given away because of a will
Bet your first thought on dead people were those hollywood stereotype zombies too
The smile though at 0:14 😂
What about the one at 1:39?
working hard sweating...running around frantically then you hear the "are you having fun yet" 😐
Finally, a sale!!
A new upload? I think I’ll watch after I… _sleep on it ;)_
Um, is this where the execution is taking place?
Made my day, tysm
Every publicity is a good publicity!
Bro has good marketing skills
"Sleeping peacefully" with a very visible frown on his face. 😅
i have to admit that your plot twists are totally catching me off guard now
This video put me to sleep, thanks Cyanide and Happiness!
There are shorts that I KNOW were made fast to show a promotion at the end
Plot twist: customer says "This is such a nice mattress...I dunno, I guess I'll just have to splurge on it!!"
Looks like he’s… dead asleep.
Well, learned a new phrase today 😂
Netflix, hire these guys already!!
Happy Thursday everyone haha and merry thanksgiving
What an amazing salesman
Note: not garunteed to improve performance.
it's like cashiers at a store every time an item doesn't scan... "OH HO, I GUESS It'S FREE!!!"
Customers are always sooooo original and funny. After a while, I just started to obviously fake laugh and go "wow I NEVER heard that one before" until they were really uncomfortable. Yeah I hated my job. Duh.
Snap crackle pop. Thought this was the purple shirtedeye stabbers origin story.
Bro, killed somebody on that mattress then sold it second Slater
Imagine waking up from a nightmare only to realize that you work in sales.
I don't know, I think I better sleep on it
So that's what would happen if I worked in retail for 2 days.
I honestly thought the bed would flip over and lock then into a fridge for later consumption
Somebody really should've given that joke a rest
I’m thinking about buying joking hazard but I’m gonna sleep on it
Jobs can be stressful. it is dearly and eagerly noted. lol
Lasted 15 seconds. Title is accurate. Thanks explosm!
If you tell people that the mattress helps you to lose weight and become shredded, then you will quickly sellout that mattress. 😂
1:14 😮oh
Justified. The customer assaulted him first by flinging bodily fluids on him.
he would kill for a sale !
Hey that's what my trainer said me on my first sales call
Mans has a mustache for a hat
One day i just thought "ayo what was the name of that one channel 🤔" and i remembered the oppisite day video and i just searched "oppisite day" and i found the vide,now i finally have my....childhood.....
Anything to make the sales better😈😎🤣
this is a sleeper hit!
i will die to have one of those
Love from a Vaush and SrPelo fan!
im the opposite of this, the employee that wont stop making the same jokes to the customers, i have the raw sarcasm of 100 men and im not afraid to use it
wow, really seems he... woke up on the wrong side of the bed
I kept Reading it as the bed thst makes you longer
I luke how the title of the vid and the shortt are different
I gues they were SLEEPING in their decision
Modern medicine has improved so much that the only patients that die now are the ones who told puns...
Hospitals truly serve the community...