"He's A GREAT Dad, But A LAZY Husband"!?
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- čas přidán 11. 06. 2024
- Mrs Melanin & Beleaf In Fatherhood answer questions from a concerned wife whose husband does not have a job. What should the response be if a man is a great father but refuses to contribute? Do you know of any relationships like this? If you do, blink twice and wiggle your toes!
Show Notes:
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Glen was spittinggg, “If we allow our son to be a man like you, we have failed”.
For me, that was a red flag when she saved to move out of his mom's house, and he wanted them to stay there. Lazy 101!!!!😶
Mrs. Melanin's singing voice is so velvety smooth, it gets me every time :)
I think that some women often try hard to change a man into the person they want him to be. This is who he is & who he's been for 15+ years. MOVE ON SIS
I think in our community, when it comes to men, the pickings are slim. So many women try to mold or build grown male into a man.
“How bout I spot you a job?” IM SCREAMING 😂😂😂😂😂 17:23
She should really get into therapy and go from there. Maybe divorce is the answer, maybe it’s not but, she needs to figure out what she wants and why she has allowed herself to be so unhappy for so long.
Why would anyone make a family with someone like that?? People willingly walk into ridiculous situations and yet the writing was on the wall before having a Child. Irresponsible
EVERYTHING y’all said was on brand. Not harsh at all. This made me a little livid… I paused and went off on him before Glen did 😅. He at the gym, work there! I HAVE to believe she’s had convos but it’s not uncommon for ppl not to communicate or to repeat the things so much that he ignores or disregards. She also didn’t really reveal his personality or how he may respond to confrontation. Like, is he auditioning or ANYTHING?! Whoo chile.
Liking it off the title alone before even watching 😂. This will be goooood.
Because they’ve been together so long she lost track of what he’s been doing because she has been in survival mode. Now, she’s exhausted and looking for his support seeing how he’s been dead weight. She finally to the point where she is able to remove the lover lenses and now she’s ready for him to go. She don’t respect him because he’s not self motivating as a man. And he could care less how much she works as long as he is taken care of.
YES! EXACTLYYYYYY!
I agree with the concept of men having proper leadership. It helps keep them responsible for their decisions and how they affect the people around them.
I think she has two options:
Either accept and love him for who he is. Because he is probably not going to change or won’t change for long.
Or.
Get a divorce. With a clear understanding that most of her problems will not fixed. But she will have more options.
I love what y'all did in the beginning! Love the song and how she came in with the vocals after you rapped. So smooth!!
Omg this is my life right now😢😢... my heart goes out to this woman!
I agree with my fellow commenters. His mom is an enabler and he never grew up. He is still a child, he is comfortable in his space. He does not see any reason to change. They need counselling and a serious conversation that should have happened before marriage.
We need a hour long combination of how married are you stories😂😂😂😂they tickle me EVERYTIME 😂😂😂
We all stopped listening when she said I understand😂😂😂 Yvette ya gotta clarify something like that😂😂
Not her saying “I don’t believe he is a good actor” 😂I’m sorry but I chuckled so much. I hope it works out for them though.
Good evening. IMO the writer may find strength and solace by joining you, Yvette at your retreat! Why not suggest to her to buy a ticket? Also, I don't believe that Glen was harsh with his solutions.
I like how you guys put your wedding picture in the background.
Also side note: Liking commenting and subscribing to all your vids and podcasts so yall can afford Theo😢
Absolutely love this podcast!
Great discussion. I follow on IG but My first time watching the podcast. Re-book recommendations. I wrote- Help! My Sons A Teenager as I navigate pre-teen and the early teens with my son. I have two sons 17 & 13
So this woman should be in prison for the rest of her life just because she made a mistake to marry this person. She should get a divorce, blaming her for getting married is not cool. Christians really believe you can't leave a terrible and unhealthy relationship and why can't he take all the domestic duties he's not working. Wow I'm grateful I don't have that mindset. She should be set free from the mistake that she made, she deserve to be happy and leaving a fulfilling life...this guy won't change.
I think they were coming from this perspective because she did not highlight any conversations they have already had. They had all the smoke for the guy and highlighted divorce as an option but if she hasn't had these conversations yet then she probably should have them before reaching for the lawyers number
@@tgc228 okay I can see that, thanks for clarifying
I’m friends with John and my mom works with Yvette’s dad I love listening to y’all! Random facts lol
New SUBBIE!!🙌🏾🙌🏾
My life looks better without you is deep... but so true
Ohhhh... the mood swings of puberty and adolescence😮😮😮 I have an 18 yr old man child and BAAAABBBBYYYYY...I wanna run away from home sometime and I'm the Moma!!!
If they get divorced, he would go live with his mom
Great show 💕💕💕long term listener
❤❤❤Love the intro!!
Please put me at the top of the list for next year's mom trip. My daughter graduates from college the same weekend this year.
Imma catch you on the next retreat Yvette cuz I got a nursing one. But hold me to it, I'll be there!
and Frenchie does my lashes all I’m saying is we almost friends 😂😂😂
Sunscribed
You all gave good advice.
COUNSELING COUNSELING COUNSELING
This example was interesting, especially when you asked why be against divorce in this situation. I agree, it seems like this situation has been enabled and on some level I wonder if there were actual standards that were set, or if she just nagged him about stuff every now and then. I agree with Yvette’s renegotiation of terms. It seems like there’s probably things they both could do to level up the relationship
Sounds like the writer’s husband is a moma’s boy and seeing that they moved in together so long it’s like they were raised like bro and sis.
I love you guys. That is all. ❤😊
My guy fumbled the lyrics lol but I love yall
15:14
16:29
17:00
9:22
Lmao the intros I love Yvette
Nawww, His Mom appears to be coddling her sons in allowing them to stay extra long and raise their families in her home.
In the American context, maybe. But in a lot of families in the Global South, multigenerational family homes are the norm.
Multigenerational homes may be normative in other places but so is male adults having full time work and that is what makes this situation seem very much like a second child hood situation. He wasn't a fulltime working adult household member but an adult teenager with a part time job.@@tgc228
Your new set is beautiful and noisy😂, just kidding Brandon. Love the pod. Kudos guys
Unfortunately this is her fault. Based on the letter, she has allowed this situation. He's a Grown Boy not a man or husband. She's the work horse. Now, she needs to forgive herself, take ownership of her lack of boundaries and standards....give him the opportunity to change IF she hasn't had this conversation with him before...and then ultimately, if there's no change, choose herself...love herself better...and move on. If she doesn't, she can look up very shortly and have heart disease from stress...have a heart attack and die...and HE WILL MOVE ON with another woman....and her life insurance check. Sorry. Clearly I'm triggered by this foolishness. Smh 😂
Glen be SPITTING
I like Yvette's renegotiation of terms idea too
what nas was talking about (if that's the song you're referring to) is about a man becoming unable to take care of himself at old age, not a man that refuses to grow up
Yes, that’s the song. Verse two starts dude is 31 living in his moms crib”
Relisten to the second verse and let me know your thoughts
I also have a son who will neglect his hair lol. He likes the short fade over picking out his fro so we keep his short. the rest of the kids have locs like me and the hubby is a baldy like Glen lol
She needs to take Glen advice verbatim. Enough has been enough for that woman.
hit that like
It sounds to me like her words are not aligned with her actions. In other words she may have been saying get a better job but her actions working extra hours say differently. She may have to cut back on a few things while he looks for a better job otherwise he may not step up. I'm sure she doesn't want to go without but most people live above their minimum needs. The good thing is she doesn't want to get a divorce. Her marriage can be restored regardless of her reasons for wanting to stay. With prayer, fasting, family counseling they will be fine if they both surrender to our Father. Grace is needed because he is used to being taken care of and she is used to living in survival mode. With Jesus, they will be restored.
Listening to this the man may have a “special” spotter a the “gym”. 🤔
What happen to the ending music? I'm sorry I miss it for some reason
So she’s just stuck with him? Y’all crazy 😅
Also, you can’t be mad that someone doesn’t meet a standard you never set. Does the wife have a father herself?
Her statement is true though. If you haven’t set boundaries and standards, you can’t get mad if they don’t meet them.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Seems like she’s taken the role of his mother and not allowed him to grow up.
Hello they never shouldn't married she and her husband never had grown into who they really are they was put together and a young age not knowing each other what they really want.
Do they believe in the Most High God? That's the first question, no?..
The husband sounds like an immature man-child.
I missed y’all 🥹 I had to take a hiatus as I processed and experiencing separation and divorce but was recently watching First Wives Club and one episode they said “How Married Are You?” And I’ve only heard that expression from y’all 🫶🏾