"He's A GREAT Dad, But A LAZY Husband"!?

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  • čas přidán 19. 05. 2024
  • Mrs Melanin & Beleaf In Fatherhood answer questions from a concerned wife whose husband does not have a job. What should the response be if a man is a great father but refuses to contribute? Do you know of any relationships like this? If you do, blink twice and wiggle your toes!
    Show Notes:
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    Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of How Married Are You?! See you next week!

Komentáře • 73

  • @Akilahh
    @Akilahh Před 4 měsíci +36

    Glen was spittinggg, “If we allow our son to be a man like you, we have failed”.

  • @pamalafloyd2704
    @pamalafloyd2704 Před 4 měsíci +23

    For me, that was a red flag when she saved to move out of his mom's house, and he wanted them to stay there. Lazy 101!!!!😶

  • @AmbyRockZ12
    @AmbyRockZ12 Před 3 měsíci +7

    “How bout I spot you a job?” IM SCREAMING 😂😂😂😂😂 17:23

  • @GabbyTeAma
    @GabbyTeAma Před 3 měsíci +21

    Mrs. Melanin's singing voice is so velvety smooth, it gets me every time :)

  • @Sungoddessz
    @Sungoddessz Před 4 měsíci +29

    I think that some women often try hard to change a man into the person they want him to be. This is who he is & who he's been for 15+ years. MOVE ON SIS

    • @kaylaEA_
      @kaylaEA_ Před 3 měsíci +3

      I think in our community, when it comes to men, the pickings are slim. So many women try to mold or build grown male into a man.

  • @ajalewis9009
    @ajalewis9009 Před měsícem

    Omg this is my life right now😢😢... my heart goes out to this woman!

  • @Liyah339
    @Liyah339 Před 4 měsíci +25

    She should really get into therapy and go from there. Maybe divorce is the answer, maybe it’s not but, she needs to figure out what she wants and why she has allowed herself to be so unhappy for so long.

  • @chandabwsandidge0430
    @chandabwsandidge0430 Před 3 měsíci +8

    EVERYTHING y’all said was on brand. Not harsh at all. This made me a little livid… I paused and went off on him before Glen did 😅. He at the gym, work there! I HAVE to believe she’s had convos but it’s not uncommon for ppl not to communicate or to repeat the things so much that he ignores or disregards. She also didn’t really reveal his personality or how he may respond to confrontation. Like, is he auditioning or ANYTHING?! Whoo chile.

  • @boluadebekun9370
    @boluadebekun9370 Před 4 měsíci +11

    We all stopped listening when she said I understand😂😂😂 Yvette ya gotta clarify something like that😂😂

  • @ruthst.julien4581
    @ruthst.julien4581 Před 4 měsíci +10

    We need a hour long combination of how married are you stories😂😂😂😂they tickle me EVERYTIME 😂😂😂

  • @AfrikaBorwaPoliticking
    @AfrikaBorwaPoliticking Před 4 měsíci +11

    Why would anyone make a family with someone like that?? People willingly walk into ridiculous situations and yet the writing was on the wall before having a Child. Irresponsible

  • @intentionalparenting2605
    @intentionalparenting2605 Před 3 měsíci +7

    Because they’ve been together so long she lost track of what he’s been doing because she has been in survival mode. Now, she’s exhausted and looking for his support seeing how he’s been dead weight. She finally to the point where she is able to remove the lover lenses and now she’s ready for him to go. She don’t respect him because he’s not self motivating as a man. And he could care less how much she works as long as he is taken care of.

  • @intentionalparenting2605
    @intentionalparenting2605 Před 3 měsíci +3

    I agree with the concept of men having proper leadership. It helps keep them responsible for their decisions and how they affect the people around them.

  • @cvanny473
    @cvanny473 Před 2 měsíci

    Liking it off the title alone before even watching 😂. This will be goooood.

  • @Nycolelo
    @Nycolelo Před 4 měsíci +7

    I think she has two options:
    Either accept and love him for who he is. Because he is probably not going to change or won’t change for long.
    Or.
    Get a divorce. With a clear understanding that most of her problems will not fixed. But she will have more options.

  • @joelledavis4547
    @joelledavis4547 Před 3 měsíci +3

    I love what y'all did in the beginning! Love the song and how she came in with the vocals after you rapped. So smooth!!

  • @Vesta0831
    @Vesta0831 Před 4 měsíci +5

    Not her saying “I don’t believe he is a good actor” 😂I’m sorry but I chuckled so much. I hope it works out for them though.

  • @cpwwjd69
    @cpwwjd69 Před 4 měsíci +7

    I agree with my fellow commenters. His mom is an enabler and he never grew up. He is still a child, he is comfortable in his space. He does not see any reason to change. They need counselling and a serious conversation that should have happened before marriage.

  • @boluadebekun9370
    @boluadebekun9370 Před 4 měsíci +7

    Also side note: Liking commenting and subscribing to all your vids and podcasts so yall can afford Theo😢

  • @sonyatheoneyouseek5040
    @sonyatheoneyouseek5040 Před 4 měsíci +10

    I like how you guys put your wedding picture in the background.

  • @JerriCouncil
    @JerriCouncil Před 4 měsíci +16

    Good evening. IMO the writer may find strength and solace by joining you, Yvette at your retreat! Why not suggest to her to buy a ticket? Also, I don't believe that Glen was harsh with his solutions.

  • @WoundstoScars
    @WoundstoScars Před 3 měsíci +4

    Great discussion. I follow on IG but My first time watching the podcast. Re-book recommendations. I wrote- Help! My Sons A Teenager as I navigate pre-teen and the early teens with my son. I have two sons 17 & 13

  • @TraciReeder-ej3cd
    @TraciReeder-ej3cd Před 4 měsíci +10

    My life looks better without you is deep... but so true

  • @arleneliftschrist6240
    @arleneliftschrist6240 Před 4 měsíci +7

    I’m friends with John and my mom works with Yvette’s dad I love listening to y’all! Random facts lol

  • @tomeikia8372
    @tomeikia8372 Před 4 měsíci +3

    Great show 💕💕💕long term listener

  • @nitarhodes42
    @nitarhodes42 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Absolutely love this podcast!

  • @JUST_MORELLA
    @JUST_MORELLA Před 3 měsíci

    ❤❤❤Love the intro!!

  • @aqueteaful
    @aqueteaful Před 4 měsíci +11

    So this woman should be in prison for the rest of her life just because she made a mistake to marry this person. She should get a divorce, blaming her for getting married is not cool. Christians really believe you can't leave a terrible and unhealthy relationship and why can't he take all the domestic duties he's not working. Wow I'm grateful I don't have that mindset. She should be set free from the mistake that she made, she deserve to be happy and leaving a fulfilling life...this guy won't change.

    • @tgc228
      @tgc228 Před 3 měsíci +2

      I think they were coming from this perspective because she did not highlight any conversations they have already had. They had all the smoke for the guy and highlighted divorce as an option but if she hasn't had these conversations yet then she probably should have them before reaching for the lawyers number

    • @aqueteaful
      @aqueteaful Před 3 měsíci

      @@tgc228 okay I can see that, thanks for clarifying

  • @arleneliftschrist6240
    @arleneliftschrist6240 Před 4 měsíci +3

    My guy fumbled the lyrics lol but I love yall

  • @minniebest2717
    @minniebest2717 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Imma catch you on the next retreat Yvette cuz I got a nursing one. But hold me to it, I'll be there!

  • @TraciReeder-ej3cd
    @TraciReeder-ej3cd Před 4 měsíci +1

    Please put me at the top of the list for next year's mom trip. My daughter graduates from college the same weekend this year.

  • @Chloeeezyyy
    @Chloeeezyyy Před 3 měsíci +1

    You all gave good advice.

  • @Coolct
    @Coolct Před 3 měsíci +1

    New SUBBIE!!🙌🏾🙌🏾

  • @ccarr0712
    @ccarr0712 Před 3 měsíci

    Ohhhh... the mood swings of puberty and adolescence😮😮😮 I have an 18 yr old man child and BAAAABBBBYYYYY...I wanna run away from home sometime and I'm the Moma!!!

  • @TraciReeder-ej3cd
    @TraciReeder-ej3cd Před 4 měsíci +1

    COUNSELING COUNSELING COUNSELING

  • @arleneliftschrist6240
    @arleneliftschrist6240 Před 4 měsíci +1

    and Frenchie does my lashes all I’m saying is we almost friends 😂😂😂

  • @ItsPersonalwithAshleyElle
    @ItsPersonalwithAshleyElle Před 4 měsíci +3

    Glen be SPITTING

  • @practicalprincess1830
    @practicalprincess1830 Před 4 měsíci

    Lmao the intros I love Yvette

  • @recipebandit3563
    @recipebandit3563 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Your new set is beautiful and noisy😂, just kidding Brandon. Love the pod. Kudos guys

  • @amandahooverlester
    @amandahooverlester Před 4 měsíci

    I love you guys. That is all. ❤😊

  • @anointedra
    @anointedra Před 4 měsíci +11

    Unfortunately this is her fault. Based on the letter, she has allowed this situation. He's a Grown Boy not a man or husband. She's the work horse. Now, she needs to forgive herself, take ownership of her lack of boundaries and standards....give him the opportunity to change IF she hasn't had this conversation with him before...and then ultimately, if there's no change, choose herself...love herself better...and move on. If she doesn't, she can look up very shortly and have heart disease from stress...have a heart attack and die...and HE WILL MOVE ON with another woman....and her life insurance check. Sorry. Clearly I'm triggered by this foolishness. Smh 😂

  • @Canthusleme153
    @Canthusleme153 Před 4 měsíci +1

    Sounds like the writer’s husband is a moma’s boy and seeing that they moved in together so long it’s like they were raised like bro and sis.

  • @whenyouwishuponastar6643
    @whenyouwishuponastar6643 Před 4 měsíci +5

    This example was interesting, especially when you asked why be against divorce in this situation. I agree, it seems like this situation has been enabled and on some level I wonder if there were actual standards that were set, or if she just nagged him about stuff every now and then. I agree with Yvette’s renegotiation of terms. It seems like there’s probably things they both could do to level up the relationship

  • @jamiehigh924
    @jamiehigh924 Před 4 měsíci +7

    Nawww, His Mom appears to be coddling her sons in allowing them to stay extra long and raise their families in her home.

    • @tgc228
      @tgc228 Před 3 měsíci

      In the American context, maybe. But in a lot of families in the Global South, multigenerational family homes are the norm.

    • @viviharris2131
      @viviharris2131 Před 3 měsíci

      Multigenerational homes may be normative in other places but so is male adults having full time work and that is what makes this situation seem very much like a second child hood situation. He wasn't a fulltime working adult household member but an adult teenager with a part time job.@@tgc228

  • @caliBornbEauty
    @caliBornbEauty Před 4 měsíci +1

    I also have a son who will neglect his hair lol. He likes the short fade over picking out his fro so we keep his short. the rest of the kids have locs like me and the hubby is a baldy like Glen lol

  • @ladyraven30
    @ladyraven30 Před 24 dny

    Sunscribed

  • @KingDeeba
    @KingDeeba Před 4 měsíci +1

    what nas was talking about (if that's the song you're referring to) is about a man becoming unable to take care of himself at old age, not a man that refuses to grow up

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 měsíci +1

      Yes, that’s the song. Verse two starts dude is 31 living in his moms crib”

    • @BeleafInFatherhood
      @BeleafInFatherhood Před 4 měsíci +1

      Relisten to the second verse and let me know your thoughts

  • @KayJ001
    @KayJ001 Před 4 měsíci +3

    hit that like

  • @joyprice209
    @joyprice209 Před měsícem

    If they get divorced, he would go live with his mom

  • @eLLBdotmusic
    @eLLBdotmusic Před 3 měsíci +1

    It sounds to me like her words are not aligned with her actions. In other words she may have been saying get a better job but her actions working extra hours say differently. She may have to cut back on a few things while he looks for a better job otherwise he may not step up. I'm sure she doesn't want to go without but most people live above their minimum needs. The good thing is she doesn't want to get a divorce. Her marriage can be restored regardless of her reasons for wanting to stay. With prayer, fasting, family counseling they will be fine if they both surrender to our Father. Grace is needed because he is used to being taken care of and she is used to living in survival mode. With Jesus, they will be restored.

  • @nicoles4257
    @nicoles4257 Před 4 měsíci +2

    She needs to take Glen advice verbatim. Enough has been enough for that woman.

  • @amosleak9519
    @amosleak9519 Před 4 měsíci

    What happen to the ending music? I'm sorry I miss it for some reason

  • @angelkingbeautytv6849
    @angelkingbeautytv6849 Před 3 měsíci

    So she’s just stuck with him? Y’all crazy 😅

  • @Chloeeezyyy
    @Chloeeezyyy Před 3 měsíci

    Also, you can’t be mad that someone doesn’t meet a standard you never set. Does the wife have a father herself?

    • @QueenSuga405
      @QueenSuga405 Před 3 měsíci

      Her statement is true though. If you haven’t set boundaries and standards, you can’t get mad if they don’t meet them.

  • @annak706
    @annak706 Před 4 měsíci

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @CJ-it7ue
    @CJ-it7ue Před měsícem

    Listening to this the man may have a “special” spotter a the “gym”. 🤔

  • @suziesmith9076
    @suziesmith9076 Před 4 měsíci +2

    Seems like she’s taken the role of his mother and not allowed him to grow up.

  • @anitahayes8397
    @anitahayes8397 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Hello they never shouldn't married she and her husband never had grown into who they really are they was put together and a young age not knowing each other what they really want.

  • @keishaheslop1536
    @keishaheslop1536 Před 3 měsíci

    Do they believe in the Most High God? That's the first question, no?..

  • @srswms5157
    @srswms5157 Před 4 měsíci +4

    The husband sounds like an immature man-child.

  • @EvolvingMama_
    @EvolvingMama_ Před 3 měsíci

    I missed y’all 🥹 I had to take a hiatus as I processed and experiencing separation and divorce but was recently watching First Wives Club and one episode they said “How Married Are You?” And I’ve only heard that expression from y’all 🫶🏾