My Response To What If Christian Wife Refuses To Submit To Husband
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- čas přidán 12. 04. 2019
- I received a question recently that I have decided to answer with a video message.
The questions I received reads,
"What about a wife that claims to be a Christian but refuses to submit to her husband. 18 years of marriage I feel I am loving her like Christ loved the church I am suffering and loving even though she is not doing what is commanded to submit to the husband in everything and often has fits of rage and hates this command. I need help and want to leave her as she is not encouraging me but tries to bear my spirit down and constantly points out what she considers flaws. I am commanded to love her she is commanded to respect me that is the word of God I feel she doesn't like this rule and is rebellious. I wish god gave a way for divorce from this as she is becoming a thorn in my side and the enemy uses her. Advise?"
When a wife does not submit, the children will also not submit to the father...
The reason why the kids are not learning from fathers.
Good morning, this is so true.
Parents have actual, legitimate authority over their children. Husbands don’t.
@@Fearlessly91 i have over mine lol. Your statement is not truth. Not yet at least.
@@dnahva8965 I’m sorry you married someone so weak
@@Fearlessly91 🙄
It is so hard to love her lavishly when she has belittled me, disrespected me, put me down, constantly points out what I'm doing wrong. All its building is resentment. I am not near perfect, and have not been such a good husband at times, but I don't deserve this!! Neither does she. Please pray for my marriage. I want to be in love with my Wife again and her as well.
@jaffa 360 Good morning, thank you, I will definitely look him up.
Work harder my friend
Just like my wife after having a degree in education. She suddenly became a different not loving me and my kids. Always in the church no time for family bonding.she come home every 12am after going to the chruch
@@zacharymondics7451 really? so she's not accountable for her actions? no she is. she needs to knock it off or she can hit the road. Why should he be forced to deal with this everyday while no one says anything to her?
I'm in the same boat
At some point, you have to call out the other party. Men already have a million videos bashing them about how they're not the husbands they're supposed to be, when in reality they're constantly seeking God's face in everything especially at home. He mentions that Jesus loved without asking for anything in return. He didn't mention that Jesus will send you to hell if you don't submit to him. If your "Christian" wife refuses to submit to you, there's a good chance she's not really a christian and you are in an unequally yoked relationship. 2 Corinthians 6:14-17 describes how God sees a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. You cannot call yourself a christian wife (or husband) and ignore the expectations of the Bible about marriages.
As well intentioned as it may be, this video does not contain the full counsel of God. I'd hate for a "christian" wife to see this and think she can do whatever she wants.
You are so right. If this is going on and she insists on not submitting to her husband then, they’re unequally yoked. She’s an unbeliever if she’s not following the Word if God. 1 Corinthians 7:15. If she wants to leave let her go. God has called us to live in peace. Praying for your family.
@@marcusreese4079 I don't understand it at all. So many preachers like to imply Ephesians 5:22 is optional but Ephesians 5:25 is mandatory. Those verses go hand in hand. That's why I really appreciate Voddie Baucham and Alistair Begg when it comes to this topic. They're not afraid to offend.
This is a perfectly appropriate response to this video
Such a huge problem in today's society but no one wants to talk about.
You know, I originally found this video looking for a way to shut my husband up about wives needing to submit. I thought, “Yes, you tell him!”. But as I listened to your words, I realized I need to be loving my husband like Christ loves the church too. I need to look past the hurts and bitterness that I use as excuses to continue to disrespect and not submit to him so that I can follow God’s commands of me. Every Christian, male or female, needs to strive to love like Christ. Thank you for this video.
@@MsRawr76 you get it. That’s beautiful.
Thank you. I needed this message. I've been borderline hopeless in this area the last few years. You have encouraged me to seek God and learn more about how He loved/loves the church and to use that as my example.
Powerful message, thank you. You have reminded me what means to love my wife as christ loved me.
That’s great.
Thank you for finally getting to the point -! Thanks for the ALL the Wonderful scriptures too 👍
This was incredible.
Daily listen for me.
Thanks for sharing
You’re welcome
I really needed this… I have been serving my wife with a selfish heart.. expecting respect and submission.. I’ve read the scriptures and have completely missed the point. Thank you for bringing God’s word in a clear understanding manner. It’s very hard when I think of not getting in return what I give out.. I’m stunned at being disrespected and feeling like I have a wife with a rebellious spirit.. yet this whole time I’m serving not to love as God loves the church but doing it expecting a great marriage, respect and submission. This cleared things up for me. Thank you
Yeah it’s worse than a bait and switch, you’ve been defrauded really. Mr Preacher here would never clearly lay it out to some naive dude before marriage as he does here.
A timely and revelent message for me. Tyvm.
Thank you I really needed this
Thank you I needed that God bless
Thank you so much for this. This was a clear reminder of the truth of God given by the power of the Holy Spirit. As I repent and ask God for strength to lead my wife in love, even through the difficulties, I look forward to Christ who is the author and perfecter of my faith. Thank you, my brother. Bless you and yours. Shalom
This addresses the love issue, not the respect issues. Men love your wives, but this doesn't address a rebellious woman. The man is loving his wife. Please address the woman.
Thank you for your time and service.What about for those who have done what you recommend for years and a wife still doesn't submit, a wife undermines and opposes everything the husband does? The wife interferes with the husbands ministry, and effects his health? And he still loves her.
What if she still doesn't submit? Is that it until he or she dies?
Praise God and God bless us all.
🕊
He doesn’t care. He just wants people to sit in the pews and pay their dues. That mostly comes about by people being married.
Amen, Hallelujah ... You illustrate from the Bible. Not in your own poinium
You explain it in a meekness. In Crist like... In His will.
You encourage me, even if I don't know you. You revealed what I need to know for understanding what situation I need to position myself as a husband in my marriage... May God continue to Bless you brother..Glory to God Almighty
Only God can and will heal. It may take decades of persistent prayer and selfless loving, but He will make everything beautiful in His time.
Thanks for the video but your answer is focused more on how Christians should treat other people rather than a wife submitting.
Sorry about that. My response is simple. If a wife doesn’t submit, I know it’s hard, but it doesn’t change anything about the husband‘s responsibility to love his wife. The wife answers to the Lord and the husband answers to the Lord. A husband will not be able to use the excuse that “welI I didn’t love her because she refused to obey you.”
No true believer and follower of Jesus would treat his wife any different if she refuses to submit to him.
And yet I hear, so-called Christian men, whining all the time about that exact situation. I tell them to man up and love their wives as God commands. That’s my understanding and opinion, based on the word of God, and being married for 22 years.
I hear you. But after 22 years, I now have health issues and feel trapped, and I'm not 1 gifted to be single. With no change in sight.
My heart goes out to this man, because I am in a very similar situation and it is very difficult and depressing. As an analogy, imagine going to the grocery store only to find the store full of snakes instead of food, and somehow you're supposed to find nourishment amidst that hazardous chaos.
What everyone says is love like Christ loves the church.
But we forget what the word of God says about the order in the Kindom .the head of the woman is man, the head of man is Christ And the head of Christ is God. 1 cor 11:3
We need to realize God is waiting for us men to teach our wives how to submit . The wife was made for the man. So what we ought to do is ask God for wisdom.
I want to you to ask yourself this. How does Chist love me?
He chastens in love
He disciplines with love.
Not physically or mental abuse but ask God for wisdom he will show you how to make your wife respect you.
During this time pray and ask God to restore your family
How to "make" your wife respect you? Do you mean God will show you how to give your wife a reason to respect you? God would never tell you to "make" her respect you.
@@graftme3168 exactly!! Love is a CHOICE! We CHOOSE to submit to Christ because He gave His life! & THAT is our reason! She doesn’t care that You’ve layed Your life down..she is choosing to rebel and stand against her Husband! How does Christ handle one in Him who is disregarding His words..and disrespecting His presence and refusing to submit to His will? Does Christ stand there and beg? Is he still intimate with that person? How does Christ deal with a person who refuses to repent and submit to Him?
Hi I’m new thankyou for this video. My boyfriend is a devout Catholic and I know that my life will mean being obedient and submissive, but I love him and I want to make him happy. It’s give an take and he loves and respects me to. Thankyou so much for this video. Although I’m going to be catholic I’d love to read your book when can I buy it from please? It will be helpful for me. Thankyou so much sir many blessings Carly xx
One word: Bravo! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Won’t she walk all over Him?! How is that Healthy Self-Respect? Where do boundaries come into play
If she does she does and that is between her and God. The husband does what he does for Christ not her. He is to love her as Christ loves the church. The church often walks all over Christ. So he’s in good company. I will lay down my life daily for my wife and Will continue to do so regardless of how she responds. Even if she despises me it won’t change anything.
@@618society7 But, I am sure she doesn't despise a husband who loves her in that way! Sure, some wives might take advantage, but despising a husband who is like that cannot be on their minds! The appearance of despising a husband who really loves her is probably really guilt in disguise. (?)
God loved the world that he sent his only son to die for us, even as we were sinners. This is what separates the wheat from the tares.
@@618society7 You also have the benefit of remarrying so as to have a second attempt at making sure you didn't end up with a wayward woman such as what you may have likely had previously. Not sure if this is an equitable way to approach your advice
That’s what those with good, submissive wives say.
This scripture referenced is about the REinstatement of Peter. There is acknowledgement in a Godly relationship of following God's word. Yeshua asked about the love and correlated it with the action when addressing Peter. The one who asked the question has responsibility to care for and love his wife as the Word of God says and she has responsibility to care and love her husband as it is written...accountability
My wife has stole nearly $70,000 from me over the course of our 42 years marriage. I’ve forgiven her, but this has destroyed trust completely. She will answer to God one day. I stay for our Grandchildren.
Thank you for this reminder. Hard as it is, this is the example of Jesus’ love we ought to follow and emulate in our lives as Christian men. Thank you brother
I just watched this video again not realizing i have so 1 year ago. Going through things again. It’s so hard to take up our cross, but it’s a prerequisite to follow Jesus, cause we aren’t following Him at all if we have not our crosses on our backs. Thank God for leading you to make this video.
I can only imagine Jesus’ love for us all while we are an adulterous bride, only thing is we are covered in His blood, hidden in Christ.
What if she drains the bank account to leave you stranded financially, calls you out of your name constantly, physically abuses you and furthermore- has amnesia in forgetting that she ever did it in the first place, and then calls you the devil for inventing the physical act of aggression as if you gain anything out of pretending to be the victim... What about then?
You are married to a real demon!
You're married to a narcissist, learn to live with evil or get a divorce
I've seen husbands loving their wife like crazy and all she does for years is berate him and treat him like total garbage. It's tough to watch. I know several women like this
Oh boy
Simple biblical truth.
Thankyou
Thank you very much. May God bless you.
A husband can easily demand whats best for the family, that is not self seeking. The husband is a leader and love does not mean accepting non-submission, love (which btw, used to be defined as charity) does not have anything to do with a wife obeying God’s COMMAND for a wife to submit.
That's all very well and good, but what about fellowship? How can they fellowship with one another as a church? Also, how can they take communion? How can they pray if they're disobedient? Can they expect their prayers to be answered? What if there are children? What about the consequences of a Mum who goes against the Dad? Will the children not learn to be disobedient and potentially rebel? I'm not saying get divorced, but how could they attend the same church with their differences? Obviously you can not divorce your wife, but there's church discipline and it would be hard to argue that a wife could keep going if she doesn't listen to her husband, the friend, or the deacon they've been presented to.
I think you're right and that we are to love, but the couple would have almost become like Hosea, with the wife becoming a spiritual prostitute to the bride of Christ, preferring her own way to that of Christ and the husband. The consequences to the children in such a situation are unimaginable. I wonder if in this situation you are to remain husband, but not part of the same church, or does a wife/husband get different treatment, as it would be hard to not have fellowship with one another? Certainly divorce is forbidden though.
Also, let's assume that it's something like taking your children to an LGBT even? Do we just let her do it? What if she decides to spend all of the money and leave you broke? Are we supposed to just sit aside and say, 'I disagree, but I love you?' Is there not anything practical, or do we just go along with it and suffer the effects?
I see there is no response to your valid questions.
Valid.
Jesus suffered undue treatment without retaliation. We are called to do the same for HIS glory, not for our own comfort.
If you listen to these people they will have you destroy your life. The Bible does not forbid divorce and remarriage. Study.
He’s literally going to cast billions of people into Hell for all of eternity.
All bumper sticker phrases about how Christ loved the church, but no practical solution. What do we do if the wife has a jezebel spirit who wont submit, quarellsome, demeaning and very disrespectful? Turn the other cheek and say " i forgive you, i love you" and tolerate her?
Yes, as Christ does to you
Yes.
@Larry Davis The husband and wife relationship has different rules than our brothers and sisters in Christ. Just as there are some rules that are different to how we treat unbelievers vs believers.
@Larry Davis I wouldn't go so far as to call her an unbeliever. I don't know any believers who AGREE with the Word of God that actually do ALL of it, and I guarantee you don't either. It doesn't mean that we don't WANT to, but we are growing in obedience as we walk with the Lord. As far as differences, we are not given authority to judge unbelievers, but we are given authority to judge those who claim to be brothers/sisters in the Lord. The difference between a husband and wife relationship is that the husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. No other believer is called to love anyone else that way. The love that other believers are called to have for each other is BROTHERLY love, and not the same love. That is one reason that a wife is called to submit to her OWN husband and not other men in the Church. The relationship is different. Any man in the church that demands another woman who is someone else's wife to submit to him has stepped beyond the authority given to him by God, and as even the angels won't dare to step beyond the authority given to them by God, we are warned not to go beyond the authority given to us by God. Husbands and wives should both stand in fear and reverence before God when it comes to using our positions as God intended! Also, no believer is told to leave his father and mother and CLING to his brother! Another difference is that we are told to be hospitable to other believers, but we are told not to even say hello to someone who preaches "another gospel." To say that we are supposed to treat everyone the same is not biblical. According to the Bible, position and authority and calling make a difference. Also, the apostle Paul makes it pretty clear that ABUSING the authority or position we have in order to get our own way or to lord ourselves over others is not of God! As the Bible also makes clear, the one who wants to be a great leader MUST be a servant to ALL. Biblical leadership is always humble and serving others. If it does not serve humbly, it is not pleasing to God. Also, if you believe she is an unbeliever, you have no authority to judge her. Besides, what praise would you have to demand submission from your wife? It is praiseworthy to continue to love her and do what you are called to do even if she doesn't. Making excuses for yourself while not excusing her is hypocritical. Demanding your wife submit to you only proves you have just as many spiritual issues as she does, if not more.
@Larry Davis Do you do everything you know you are supposed to do?
Its is good to let the woman that does not submission go. When she is let go she will have the change to do soul searching and seek counseling and heal from trauma that she faced usually childhood trama and systematic trauma she was suppressing and fails to confront.
The best course is not to marry a partner that doesn't already display respectful submission.
Been a loving husband and have served her in this way for 46 years. She says she loves me but does nothing to demonstrate that love. No intimacy, affection but only rejection. I still love her but don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her.
That sucks. I am sorry that is happening to you. hope that things get better for you. I would keep loving her in obedience to God while praying that she repents and believes in Jesus.
It is hard loving those who don’t love us back, but that is the nature of love. It is sacrificial. This is how we know that God loves us that Christ died for our sins while we were still sinners.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
When we get married, we make a promise to God and a vow to our spouse for better or worse. A man of God doesn’t break that promise.
@@618society7 My vow to God is what makes me stay🙂
Amen 🙏🏿
Is answer to that guy question is 100% right but it hurts like hell to my Flash. I don't want to hear that I want to hear to get rid of her but I have to obey God's word
Got it 👍🏾
I think it was a very poor response. Its like saying "do more or be better". The truth is it may be his cross to bare for a time. There are solid husands and wives that have spouses that are extremely carnal or worldy minded. My advice would go along the lines..."continue in the faith walk in the word and prayer. When you stumble get up and know that God sees your situation better than you do. Trust him for the results and guard against bitterness!
Personally, I feel that men and women bear Gods image equally. Women have a responsibility to “nurture” . Eve was known as the mother of all living. She was created to be a helper to Adam. A woman’s/wife’s responsibility in relationship to her husband and her family is to support, help, nurture and yield (assuming that her spouse is trying to be the spiritual head) . The Bible even says she’s supposed to try and win her husband over if he’s a non believer by her sustaining godly conduct.
I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT SIMPLY… leaning in at home and continuing to get punched in the mouth with verbal onslaughts of complaints and mindless tasks and worry (which is the opposite of faith) .. This is NOT HEALTHY. It leads to depression, obesity addiction, infidelity and divorce .
Do husbands have a responsibility to be long suffering, to lay their lives down, to be stewards of the word,… yes yes yes.. but Scripture is very clear.. Argumentative wives exist. Women are cursed to desire mastery, dominance and control of the home and the man. It’s right there in Genesis 3.
I am divorcing my quarrelsome wife now.
I’ve restated she agreed upon a Christian marriage.
I have no choice
And understand God will judge me
Brother, there is no grounds for divorce other than adultery. I pray for you.
May that still apply if the wife wants the husband to disobey God, or let go of his faith in God and exchange it for her fear of evil? What if he is trying to give her scriptures to give her peace but she gets offended? Or if it comes to the wife wanting her husband to take "the mark"?
Hi Adam, We are having a live stream prayer meeting tonight for marriage restoration. I hope you can join us. Here's a video with all the details. czcams.com/video/gdXnJpGaKJk/video.html
@paisleyyama okay thanks. Rings true
Will Atheist/Jewish wife submitted to her Husband like a Christian wife ?
I know what hes trying to say you're trying to say love and no matter what even if it hurts you sacrifice even if it's hurt you no matter what still love even if she treat you bad and hurt you and disrespect you you have to suffer just like Jesus suffer for us that how you prove your love
How can I get a copy of this book?
Just search on Amazon That We Might Love by Dustin Cannon
618 Society thank you and God bless you for this youtube channel. May the peace of our lord Jesus Christ be with you now and always.
Love is a CHOICE! We CHOOSE to submit to Christ because He gave His life! & THAT is our reason! She doesn’t care that You’ve layed Your life down..she is choosing to rebel and stand against her Husband! How does Christ handle one in Him who is disregarding His words..and disrespecting His presence and refusing to submit to His will? Does Christ stand there and beg? Is he still intimate with that person? How does Christ deal with a person who refuses to repent and submit to Him?
It doesn't matter how Christ would handle it, you are not Christ. Your job is to obey Christ. Let Christ worry about dealing with her sins. You have one job and that is to obey what God has commanded of you and that is all.
@@618society7 so where supposed to follow Christ and be like Him but NOT worry about how he would handle such a situation? That makes no sense. How can i follow example then?
What can be said? Christian marriage is pretty crappy.
No. 1 issue is allowing disrespect in the first place. Shut it down and get her in align. Putting women on a pedestal, always being around her, not being masculine and leading causes problems. Work in yourself to be the best and if she does not get in line. They all test men breaking them down with a 1000 concessions. Maintain your masculinity.
Seems to me that the advice provided would work very well in a family that is founded in Christ. What about in a instant where the wife has narcissistic tendencies (or under the influence of a jezebel spirit)? This seems to be the original question.
Yes Christ loved the world so that whoever believes will not persish but have eternal life. Please note that there are expectations & consequences ie eternal life vs perishing.
Another case I see is where the husband and wife fellowship in churches with very contradicting doctrines eg
Eg those that dwell on miracles and sowing seeds vs those that don't
First, quit putting a label on her that doesn't exist. A "jezebel" spirit is a label that men put on women they can't control. I wonder what "spirit" she would say you operate under?
@jaffa 360 An evil spirit is an evil spirit. All too often, though, people give a name and credit to an evil spirit that may or may not even be there. The Bible tells us that a believer is not controlled by evil spirits. It tells us that God has delivered a believer from the power of the devil. If one is being controlled by an evil spirit it is because they are not born again. If they are born again then they are operating according to the flesh and not the Holy Spirit. I don't know any believer that doesn't have areas of self that they haven't submitted to the Spirit yet. All believers are being sanctified by the Holy Spirit as they grow in faith and love and the knowledge of the Lord. The Bible also says that a believer sins when enticed and allows it to grow. The devil is a schemer but giving him credit for the sins of believers is inaccurate. If they are not born again, you shouldn't be surprised if they follow the leading of the devil. It is a given. If they are born again, you should know that the Holy Spirit is working in them. Nobody can be controlled by both the Holy Spirit and the devil! It's one or the other.
Dude I support us , cause this submit thing
Why should a wife submit to an abusive husband?
No. I do not believe so.
That's not this situation but today's society call much "abuse"
Why should a wife submit to her husband at all?
Because the bible said so
I do like that this preacher emphasized love
too often the fault falls on the woman who is seen and judged as rebellious because she is not submitting
but perhaps the question should be "why" is the wife refusing to submit? she is not a dog that is trained to obey without question! she is an individual with personality, agency and a brain capable of making decisions on her own.
why is it always the wife that has to submit ? submit to what? and when can she say no?
the bible says submit one to another eph 5-21
marriage is 2 people, each with a brain and mind, personality and an indiviidualism given to them by God. So why does only one have to submit to the other?
because the bible says to? those verses have been taken extremely out of context.
Women worked alongside the disciples and those men learned from Jesus how to actually treat and interact with women in a day when to speak to or help a woman was looked down on. and taking testimony from a woman was outlawed. so by the time jesus died and arose and He chose women to be the first to see Him alive, those men had already had their hearts changed towards how the world sees women and believed their testimony.
I agree with you.
Proverbs 21:19 💯💯💯💯
I tried many times but she rejected me over and over and it led to problems in my marriage because i was constantly embarrassed and it lowered my self esteem. I tried to discuss with her but but she always shut me out and it's very frustrating. I'm 28 ,so is she.
I now slept in different room, having multiple sex partners outside and I'm happy at home concentrating on my kids because I got no issue with her.
I will never have sex with her even if she wants it because I don't want to be in that embarrassing cycle again.
As long as I serve my kids is far important than having sex with my wife. I'm now not attracted to her because I've realized how female outside appreciate me and treat me sexually. I'm a Christian and so is my wife but I can't find a solution to it unless my sexual feelings are some how removed. I know adultery is SIN but it's been 8 months since the last time and another 5 to 6 months since previous.
im so sorry for u man
this is exactly why im afraid of marriage but fornication is a sin so oh well im out of options innit
My friend, surely there is a way to remove sex from your life totally? Fornication and adultery have no place in your good heart, they can be eradicated. Look to the monks and church fathers, they have succeeded in destroying their demon of lust. Good luck my friend, god be withyou
Thanks for the message but I disagree with this wholeheartedly. Why is it that men are the only people held accountable in this society?
This is good advice but I left word of faith church and she stayed. Sorry bud but when it comes to hertics it's Christ over my wife and she must follow me.
my husband spanks me regularly
@@romaissaromaissa4796 Leave him
Hi Dustin. I tried to send you an email, but your email in your description did not work. Any way to private message you? Thanks.
dustin@618society.com
@@618society7 Thanks, Dustin. I just sent an email.
I’m sorry I’ve not responded yet to your email but I will.
@@618society7 Thank you, Dustin. It is very appreciated. - Alyssa
This bruddah is a feminist and pushes this female centric gospel. Probably believed is female bishops and pastors….
If people do not accept Jesus, then those people go to hell even Jesus died for them as well as those of the church. If we do what he does, then the wife who rejects us must be treated as sent to hell.
Why is this guy such a scary cat. Give this comment to a more firmer person, such long winded Ness.
In Christ ministry on earth, he prayed,corrected,rebuked, and delivered. He was also was patient,merciful, and kind. Too many people use Ephesians 5: 25-33 to paint Christ as a mild an weak person who allowed people to behave anyway around him. That's a narrative I can't agree with. That's how people expect husband's to carry themselves. Christ was not passive. Neither should we be in our marriages. The Man is the priest of the home.
Straight off the bat from a Christian female, doesn’t this whole question depend on how the gentleman is referring to submit? Is it submitting sexually or is he trying to tell her what to do? 24 seven? Is he loading it over? I’d be interested to know why she is refusing to submit because we need to remember that Paul also said husbands love your wives. So I’m listening to that full question apparently everything is. HER fault he has done anything wrong or anything at all that he has tried to repair the relationship. He wanted divorce Bingo but what has he done to her? We have a saying cause and effect. Perhaps you should contact the wife brother and see exactly what is going on the full story because all you’ve heard so far is blame blame blame blame blame on her. I will pray for him and for her is a little bit of narcissism, I think showing here now if he had of said it’s partly my fault too then yes you could take this a bit more seriously.
This advice is not going to work. You can wash her feet all day, but she won't respect you for any of it.
That doesn’t make any difference whatsoever. You do it for God not her.
If you are doing it to change her, you are doing it with wrong motives. If you love those that love you, what is that? Even the unbelievers do that? If you love those that treat you badly, then you have praise from God. If Jesus had that attitude, He wouldn't have went to the cross and we'd all be doomed!
Roman Catechism of the Council of Trent
The Duties of Married People
The more easily to preserve the holy state (of marriage) from dissensions, the duties of husband and wife as inculcated by St. Paul and by the Prince of the Apostles must be explained.
Duties Of A Husband
It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife generously and honourably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man; as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her husband.
The husband should also be constantly occupied in some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.
He is also to keep all his family in order, to correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their duties.
Duties Of A Wife
On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their husbands. that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
To train their children in the practice of virtue and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never presume to leave home without her husband's consent.
Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready obedience.
Ben Sira 26:1-3,16-19,24
[1]HAPPY is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double.
[2]A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband: and shall fulfil the years of his life in peace.
[3]A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds.
[16]The grace of a diligent woman shall delight her husband, and shall fat his bones.
[17]Her discipline is the gift of God.
[18]Such is a wise and silent woman, and there is nothing so much worth as a well instructed soul.
[19]A holy and shamefaced woman is grace upon grace.
[24]As everlasting foundations upon a solid rock, so the commandments of God In the heart of a holy woman.
1 Timothy 2:9-14
[9]In like manner, women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire:
[10]But, as it becometh women professing godliness, with good works.
[11]Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
[12]But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to use authority over the man: but to be in silence.
[13]Adam was first formed; then Eve.
[14]And Adam was not seduced; but the woman, being seduced, was in the transgression.
1 Timothy 3:4-5,11
[4]One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all chastity.
[5]But if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?
[11]The women in like manner: chaste, not slanderers, but sober, faithful in all things.
1 Corinthians 11:3,7-9
[3]But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man: and the head of Christ is God.
[7]The man indeed ought not to cover his head: because he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man.
[8]For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
[9]For the man was not created for the woman: but the woman for the man.
Titus 2:3-5,9
[3]The aged women, in like manner, in holy attire, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teaching well:
[4]That they may teach the young women to be wise, to love their husbands, to love their children.
[5]To be discreet, chaste, sober, having a care of the house, gentle, obedient to their husbands: that the word of God be not blasphemed.
[9]Exhort servants to be obedient to their masters: in all things pleasing, not gainsaying:
1 Peter 3:1-7
[1]In like manner also, let wives be subject to their husbands: that, if any believe not the word, they may be won without the word, by the conversation of the wives,
[2]Considering your chaste conversation with fear.
[3]Whose adorning, let it not be the outward plaiting of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel:
[4]But the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit which is rich in the sight of God.
[5]For after this manner heretofore, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:
[6]As Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters you are, doing well and not fearing any disturbance.
[7]Ye husbands, likewise dwelling with them according to knowledge, giving honour to the female as to the weaker vessel and as to the co-heirs of the grace of life: that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:22-24,33
[22]Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord:
[23]Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body.
[24]Therefore as the church is subject to Christ: so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things.
[33]Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular love for his wife as himself: And let the wife fear her husband.
Colossians 3:18-21
[18]Wives, be subject to your husbands, as it behoveth in the Lord.
[19]Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter towards them.
[20]Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
[21]Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.
I have been living with a quarrelsome wife for 28 years. Granted, I was only saved 10 years ago. I failed to be spiritual leader of my home and that has been held against me up to the present. Like the man who presented the original questions, my wife is a constant thorn in my side, she is consistently used by the enemy to attack me and brings division into our home. We are not one, nor would she even consider it. She refuses to attend any gathering, although claims to be Christian.
Nice video and all, but you didn't answer the original questions at all.
Yes, divorce is not an option, but other than prostrating ourselves before our un-Godly wives and washing their feet which, BTW, just leads to validating her inflated sense of authority in the home, what other advise does anyone have?
JamesB
That answer IS shower her with sacrificial, unconditional love “demonstrated” by what you do for her. Worrying about her pride is not your job. Your job is to obey God and love her without expecting anything whatsoever in return. Do that and you have your best chance of winning the respect of your wife back. Your love for her should have absolutely nothing whatsoever to to with what she does for you or how she makes you feel. That’s my opinion based on the Scriptures, and based on my 17 years of marriage.
on the Scriptures, and based on my 17 years of marriage.
She may be responding the way she does because of how she feels or whether intentional or not , but it’s likely because there are needs that she has that are not being met. If you can figure out what those needs are you can Likely change everything.
Washing feet is not literal or about service. He said you are clean (by faith like Abraham; they had not been born again yet until after the resurrection) but He said you are clean, but... if I don’t wash your feet you have no part of me. “Washing of the Word” “renewing of the mind”
Amanda Lira Yes. In this simple act of foot washing God was teaching his followers that only He could wash away their sin. But also that the foundation of true love is humility.
Now, brothers and sisters in Christ, seeing that we have been cleansed by the washing of water with the word, let us walk in the Spirit of love and humility (Ephesians 5:26 ) following the example of Christ who said says to us,
"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you." (John 13:14-15)
So it’s our fault if we don’t submit to Christ and His word but it’s also our fault if our wives refuse to submit to us?
@@corinjones8693 no, you can't be help responsible for your wife's lack of submission.
If she isn't submissive to you, she is not submissive to God. Thankfully everyone is personally accountable for their actions. But its still possible for you to do everything the way God says, to love her and meet her needs, AND for her to still refuse to submit to you. In this case divorce should be considered because you are unequally yoked.
The question is, are they truly a Christian or are they are CHINO (Christian in name only)
I’m not sure if your married but you would make a fantastic husband. Guys could learn from you. X
Thank you. I have been married for 21 years.
@@618society7 oh wow I pray you both will always be happy.
Why is it that it's up to the man to Accept a non intimate marriage for the rest of their life because the wife has some kind of mental issue. God did not make marriage for a non.Intimate relationship. That's called
a friendship. That was developed before we got married. First corinthians , chapter seven, very clearly talks about Intimacy. The wife chooses not to read that part or accepted it. But yet she expects the husband to do his part.Which is what you described through your whole video. It leaves no escape. That leads the man subject to temptation as mentioned in first corinthians chapter seven.. I know God hates divorce.That is Jesus' words. But he also does not want us to be measurable.
@@stevemargolis5514 If that’s you, I’m sorry that you are going through that. It sucks.
All I’m saying is that we cannot justify our sin by someone else’s sin. We can’t justify our sin by saying it’s her fault. That’s what Adam did when he blamed Eve.
Sometimes being faithful to God, can result in us being miserable in some ways. The New Testament makes it clear that true believers who desire to live a godly life will suffer. We’ve all experienced it. Resisting temptation and even giving up those things which are good and right for righteousness cause suffering. That’s what Jesus was talking about when he said we must deny ourselves. I’m talking to you as a man who’s been there. Every Christian has. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I will pray for you and I pray that God will draw you closer to him even still.
@@618society7 Your right. But it does not make it easier. And thank you for you reply. God bless you.
@@stevemargolis5514 I also pray that your marriage will come to the place where you always wanted it to be and God will bless you and your wife.
Your wife may claim to be Christian to get you to stop bothering her about the issue.
You must not be married. Gen chapter 3 says that the woman desires her husband, not physically but morally. So if the woman doesn't submit to God's Word it is impossible for her to submit.
I’ve been married for 20 years
So I need to kiss my wife's ass and submit to what she wants when she's wrong? That makes sense 🫡🙄
Noone should ever DATE OR MARRY ANOTHER RELIGION!
Christ love the church by teaching the commandments not washing feet . Are you crazy? Rewrite your book!
oh jesus...too little too late.
please pray for bill and kristy for restoration.divorced march 29,2019.
this is NOT gods will
I am so sorry. I am praying with you.
Ephesians 618 Society of Prayer Warriors
thank you
@@618society7 sir when will you rpley my comment.. I am waiting since 3 years and pray jesus with faith to restore me and nandita.
I'm sorry I don't agree, the man was not made to succumb to foolish women. The atrocities of society in dealing with men shows just how ungodly and unjust this world truely is. This video rests on the idea that men should honor the word of GOD but the women does not? No, divorce and take up a vow of celibacy and if she dies (GOD forbid) you can then remarry.... learn from your experience though. Don't make the same mistake more than once.
Do what Gods Law tells you to do. Simple.
This is not biblical, you see Christ came at a particular time in history in a particular place as opposed to this time and place, the difference is: it was still a common practice to respect men, Yeshua was a holy man and this was known as he studied daily in the temple, he was also known by his tribe, when he approached men, the way he spoke learnedly gave him away, to an extent, respect was engrained from the beginning in the culture, the people who disrespected Christ, such as the Pharisees, he rebuked and cursed, even the womb at the well he told her about herself and said if you knew who I was, paraphrasing, you’d give me a drink of water when I asked. A wife knows who her husband is and enters into the covenant of marriage willingly and commits to obey, when she back slides a husband is to do what Christ did and remind her who he is, speak firmly in rebuke, which is showing love, while praying to God’s wisdom, if she leaves, let her leave and be patient, or stand at the door and knock, as he does our hearts, but don’t go in unto her unless she opens the door to her heart. There is so much more than just lavishly spoiling her which is one component of love... there is chastening, not to be confused with abuse, yet at the same time we have let women garner too much power and flip it on our heads as Eve did Adam so things are out of order overall input homes, so men can’t chasten his wife without being in court and blamed fire mental abuse. But Adams sun was harkening to the voice of his wife while knowing Gods command for himself and his own place as head. Sometimes you have to stand your ground and pray and be firm, why do Christians think that Yeshua was all mush.... he was pretty solid and said some pretty harsh things and did some pretty harsh things. Whenever someone was healed he said: your faith has made you whole.... so it takes a woman to be faithful to her husband to receive healing from her husband as well. You literally just read the verse that Yeshua held Peter accountable for his love and very betrayal, having him prove his love to him yet at the same time gave opportunity to redeem himself even though it wasn’t to the level of what Christ did for him. That’s the focal point.
Jesus Christ was an excellent Carpenter, loan shark, manipulator, of the people unlike the world has never seen before. A true master of this trade. If he could see what he brewed turned into he would truly be disappointed
Obey your husband even if you are a man married to a man
It says wife respect your husband
No one ever seems to address that what if submission is actually doing the wrong thing . What do you do when your husband tells you to do things you know are just the wrong thing to do. He told you to treat someone poorly you know it's wrong. Also what do you do when your husband just doesn't have any idea what he's talking about. You do what he says couple of times and it all falls apart against your better judgment but he's dead wrong? He des not listen to you because he belives he shouldn't listen to you and is angry if you do well at something. Or did I just marry a not so bright guy? I am ready to be done with this. Im over it, I don't want to waste my life.
Of course you should never do wrong or go against the Word of God.
Sir, I think its very obvious that you have never lived through this. A contentious wife, especially if she is a narcissist, knows how to use a good man's compassion against him. A good Christian man is both lamb and lion. He is loving, but not a pushover. If she raises her voice and disrespects him, he should state clearly that he will not tolerate such disrespect and that he is ending the conversation. He should withdraw from the room to somewhere where she will not or cannot follow. If he stays in the room, eventually she will find the button to provoke him to anger, because a contentious woman uses insults and a man's weaknesseses (and every man has some) against him. A contentious woman has no honor; they don't argue to resolve conflict. They argue to control their husband and get their way.
Christian men are not called to be pacifists or pushovers. We are called to be Elijahs. We speak the truth in love, and we call out sin. We don't tolerate the spirit of Jezebel.
I am not lukewarm for the lord.
I agree.
Cringe
Submission is not necessary! She doesn’t need to submit!
You need deliverance from Jezebel.
If she follow Jesus Christ teaching than she should know her wife's role
You never answered or addressed his problem?????? How is this helpful at all!?!?!? I don’t understand???? Surely you can see how this makes no sense!!!!! Even if you just use simple logic, it doesn’t line up. Brother I’m sorry but you dropped the ball on this one real real bad.
What doesnt line up?
Scripture is clear. If a wife doesn’t submit we still owe obedience to the Lord which is to love our wife. It’s not our job to make a wife be obedient to the Lord.
A lot of men need to stop whining like children and worry about their own submission to Lord. The truth is I’ve met very few men who even deserve their wife’s submission because they’re not living in obedience to God in many ways and also not Loving her way Christ demands.
Wish u wouldnt use that horrible translation based on the corrupt minority texts.
I do prefer the Received Text personally.
Love her like Christ loves the church. "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline. Therefore be zealous and repent." (Revelation 3:19)
This wife is begging you to discipline her. She is giving you (fitness) test after test and you are failing. Would Christ let you to continue in sin year after year or would he discipline you? Love her like Christ loves you. Figure out a way to lovingly discipline her.
Since her disobedience and obstinacy is a sin against Christ, then, yes Christ lets it go in year after year without discipline.
@@s1n4m1n - God's authority structure on earth is Christ, husband, wife.
"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." (1 Corinthians 11:3)
Specifically the husband is the head of the wife.
"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body." (Ephesians 5:23)
It is up to the husband to be obedient to God's word in how he loves his wife. If the husband is doing everything that he can to lead, guide, chasten and discipline his wife (toward her sanctification), and she is still not responding, then Christ might step in an apply direct discipline (if she is actually saved) but otherwise, He leaves it to the husband.
@@j.p.5716 You do have a point. Men discipline your wives and when your marriage falls apart, turn her over to Satan.
Does Jesus not have expectations for his followers to behave a certain way, even though he loves them? Then it is not hard to see how a man could expect the same of his wife. To love someone does not mean to accept the monster that they have become. This new age Christian ideology that places the "beliefs" and "opinions" of man on a pedestal, that is okay to disobey the word of God is a mockery. One could argue that the person who you're responding to loves his wife so much that he wants her to live in the wisdom of biblical principles. Sorry, but I think your response here is more of a "go along to get along" theory instead of sound biblical practice. Perhaps the man you're responding to aught to divorce his wife and move on so that the Lordcan bless him with a more fitting partner. The truth is we don't know who's side to be on because we don't have all of the details. Either way, she is commanded to submit and he is commanded to love, regardless of how it sounds.
Hmmmm, completely awful question
My husband and I are fundamental Christians. I only ever wear long dresses and skirts and I wear a head covering to church services and when I pray or read the Bible. I believe that a woman’s service to her husband is her ministry unto Jesus Christ because to be obedient to the Word and Jesus Christ we must submit ourselves unto our husbands as unto the Lord as it says in Ephesians 5:25, Colossians 3:18 and 1 Peter 3. I believe that for a person who professes to be a Christian to enter the Kingdom of Heaven they must remain faithful to God and His Word in their life so that God does not say I know you not at the door because we did not abide in the Father (Matthew 7:21, John 15). 1 Timothy 2:15 gives further insight to the salvation of women as a sidenote to believing on the Lord Jesus Christ.
I personally believe that if a woman calls herself a Christian but is rebellious against her husband even though the Lord is very clear about her responsibilities to him, then that woman can expect to go to Hell. I’m not saying that she needs to be perfect or that this is completely a works based salvation (because there is grace through faith), but if she lives in wilful disobedience and stubbornness throughout her life, she is jeopardizing her salvation.
I also believe that if you read the Bible from cover to cover it becomes clear that God does allow for polygyny (polygamy of multiple wives) and it was not done away with in the NT (qualifications of a pastor to have one wife means it was okay for Jews/Christians to have more than one). This means that if a husband were to separate from (but not divorce) his wife due to her wilful disobedience and marry a new one, he would not be wrong in God’s eyes. Even if he were to keep that first woman in the house and bring in his second wife to make a point, that would not be wrong either and would encourage the first wife to behave properly now that she is in some competition with her sister wife. I know this sounds extremely old-fashioned and similar to the Mormons or Muslims but I submit to you that if you read the Bible from cover to cover it becomes very clear that men are allowed to have multiple wives. This includes the divorce and adultery laws mentioned in the New Testament. I am not saying that in these modern days men should do that but if they were to, it would be permissible under God‘s law. He just couldn’t be married to both of them legally in many countries because of bigamy laws. Not to say that women are not very valuable in God’s eyes (because they are!) , but there is a biblical gender hierarchy (roles, responsibilities, image of God) and a woman should be very happy if she can be married to a man of God and serve him for the rest of her life.
good thoughts,some people just make what God made lawful unlawful,i disliked many things too in the bible such as slavery,polygamy and many more but reading the bible with an open mind definately helped me
You sound like a complete FOOL.
I wash her feet and then some. She takes it all for granted and belittles me for it.
None of us are Jesus so this is useless. Just say you don’t know. It would be more helpful and honest.
Luke warm Christian, cherry picking
Yup. This guy and others like him are sending women on a path to judgement
This message sounds femanine and inbalanced
kick her to the curb. she can pay her own bills. there has to be compromise. I will not be responsible for the financial success of the household but my wife refuses to be a wife. no sir. she can leave, and find some other goofy to pay her bills
This message while true does nothing to help.
No, you don't leave your wife, you will when she cheats on you because she has no respect for you.
Ignore her insults. Build yourself in christ, your mistake are what build character. We are all fallen, not perfect people.
Love her like christ loves you, know in her heart she is wrong to do this and teach your children Christ's love.
Lead your family, if she argues and disrespect you hold your ground and do not argue in front of the children.
You can not control her behavior, you control yours. If you hold you ground and she leaves. That's on her not you. Be the man you are called to be, do not compromise. Your children will begin to respect you and she will show herself.
In the end it is your fault for choosing to marry her, now you must deal with your mistakes.
I’m going to be honest this is terrible advice. It has nothing to do with the question. I wish people would give real advice for real situations instead of being so vague and telling them they need to do more to be like Christ. You must be a man who has a wife who listens and respect you or you’re not married at all because you have no idea what it’s like to go through that. Your response sounds so generic, and like your scared to say what a woman should do and how she should act because we can love all day and do what the word says but if she’s not doing what the word says, we need some other advice on maybe what she should do or how we shouldreach out to get different help other areas instead of just pray more read your word more be more like Jesus.
@@wisemiik 1) It is not a husband’s place to discipline his wife or make her obey the Lord. She answers to God. You can’t make her love and obey God or respect you.
2) i’ve talked to a few people in this situation, and while there are exceptions, in almost 90% of cases, the wife doesn’t respect the husband because he doesn’t deserve it and isn’t loving her and seeking to walk in righteousness before God.
But either way there is nothing you can do to make your wife respect you or love you or walk with God. The only thing you can do is worry about yourself and pray that she comes around.
I tell men to Focus on yourself and your obedience to God and loving your wife. How she responds doesn’t change anything.
@@wisemiik in short, whether a wife respects her husband or obey God in anything doesn’t have any impact whatsoever on the husbands obligation to God to love his wife and to obey God. The problem is men want to think that their wife behavior gives them cause to treat her badly.
@@wisemiik I’m sorry if you are going through this. I will pray for you. It can be terrible. By the way, I’ve been married for 23 years.
My wife constantly accuses me of cheating. Never have. Never will. I can’t say hardly anything to her without her getting mad and raising her voice which in turn causes me to raise my voice. My son does not obey me and has started to vocally rebel when I am giving him instructions. My daughter has started to have a rebellious mouth and spirit. I know that I should talk to my pastor about how I’m feeling but I do t want to burden him as he’s recently been dealing with the passing of his father. I’m tired and depressed and have started contemplating divorce. Don’t even know why I’m here venting to strangers. I feel sneaky and wrong for this.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Most important thing right now is that you turn to Jesus and follow him. Give your life to him. Then you can also have Gods help.