How To Handle A Disrespectful Wife | Paul Friedman
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- čas přidán 3. 08. 2024
- Let's just say that she's disrespectful to you in your communication and she is just not nice and she's mean to you and disrespectful. The first step is, are you retaliating? Are you reacting back? If you are that needs to stop. Watch Paul explain how to handle a disrespectful wife.
As a man, you have this more pronounced anger reaction than she would have and it could be that what is happening is she's being reactive to your previous reactions because men tend to be angry and it's very important if you're a man to understand the power that you have as a man. You are biologically designed to be in the couple as the protector which means you have this first level of defense being anger and what happens is men don't realize that they use that on their wives, so they cause their wives to be defensive, to be reactive and to mimic their husband.
Now, they don't have the same intensity that a man has when they're disrespectful so it manifests differently instead of it coming out as anger as it would with you. It comes out in sarcasm and those sorts of disrespectful behaviors. Your first step is to examine your own behavior with your wife and if you use your anger remember, it's a complete misuse so a lot
of men because you're there to be defending her not protecting her and not using your -- think of your anger as a gun and you're the bodyguard and it's great.
You can really be protective but what if you take that gun and you turn it on her and you go, "Look, how powerful I am. How dare you question me?" Or whatever, this is not cool and
it'll cause a real problem in your marriage so that's your first step is to learn to contain your anger. Never allow it to be turned to your wife.
Let's say though that she is a sarcastic person, she's got a lot of aggressive tendencies and it's not just with you. You can ask her nicely. You could say" Honey...", occasionally, you have to be very careful about how you present this because you don't want to create a confrontation. "Honey, it really kind of bothers me when you are aggressive with me when you act disrespectfully towards me." And see what happens and if she's defensive which is likely then your response will be, "You know what, I just wanted to bring it up because it doesn't feel good. It's not loving and I am starting to read Breaking the Cycle by Paul Friedman and I'm realizing that our marriage could be better and I want to do my part."
You want to come in very smoothly. The slightest defense back off because otherwise, you're just going to have this cycle of back and forth the negativity and that's not what you
want. You got married to be happy. You didn't get married to fight. You didn't get married to win. You didn't get married to lose. You got married to be happy so you want to learn all the ways that you can that will make you happy so that you bring that happiness into the
marriage so that your wife is happy too. So, there's also other kinds of disrespect.
There's the disrespect that is shown oftentimes what will happen is a wife, when she's with her family, will be disrespectful to her husband sort of choosing sides that's one way. Another way is maybe she's disrespectful by telling the children you're not a good provider or you're an idiot or whatever sometimes a marriage has gone so far that that's happening and if that's happening you need to take a look at healing the marriage, getting right to the dynamics and in that case, reading one of my books is a good idea.
A better idea might be depending on how far your marriage has slipped you might want to take the course for men and learn how to really reinstitute positive dynamics into your
marriage so those are some instances of disrespect. Another instance of disrespect is when a wife is not respectful of her husband's value to the home where he's maybe working two jobs and she's spending money on unnecessary things and in those cases really the first step, the first step is to get the marriage back on track so you can have these kinds of discussions where it doesn't turn into an eruption where you don't have a fight -- never fight.
You know a lot of people come to us and they go you know we fight about as much as
everyone else and I go, "Well, everyone else is wrong." In a marriage, there should never be fighting. Look, I was a divorce mediator so I know how about fighting. One of my biggest obstacles, which I was really good at was learning how to get people to stop fighting and it's sort of like you have free will, don't you? And so, you can choose whether you're going to
enter into a fight that maybe your spouse is beginning or choose not to.
Watch the video for more.
#marriageproblems #frustrated #abusivepartner #anger #angermanagement #angermngt
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
Hey my name is Freddy Dallas I have a disrespectful wife she disrespected me today I called her back she said she was sorry what do I do about this problem should I let it go or should I tell her if you disrespect me again what's going to happen can you please give me a call back down below thank you have a good night bye Maria Lupe Dallas
If you think my wife doesn’t have the same intensity in anger and disrespect as a man does, I think you haven’t been in an argument with her...
LOL
😅
I think this guys arguments are with probably a 65 year old woman probably traditional this generation has changed we’re dealing with non traditional modern women from 18 to 42 yes old women are different now they think differently the TikTok algorithms and Instagram feeds will have your woman’s head fucked up… there once was a time women got significantly less attention now attention from another man is just a click away… this generation is just fucked up and it’s changed the way women think we as men have become overly expendable in the eyes of women . We as man have to know and see the value we have as men the woman or women will follow suit automatically. Get your money and mind right and u can have any woman you want in this world. ANY WOMAN
@The Marriage Foundation not sure it's a laughing matter
This was a great video. Thank you!! As a wife, going through post partum.. I can get disrespectful more than I would like to admit! So I'm glad I cam across this video. It helped me take a step back and breath
You're amazing. I watched this vid with my husband last night and he said " you're dropping all of the secrets." He also deleted from the watch history🤔🙄.. I thank you for the enlightenment! This should have way more views!!
My wife has been very rude to me in many instances in the last 4 years. I have over looked a number of opportunities to cheat on her. She wonders why her manager at work is micro managing and mean to her.
I do not doubt you but bear in mind that rudeness is a subjective call. Let her rudeness pass. You fdo not need to catch everything that is thrown your way.
@@TheMarriageFoundation let her rudeness pass? That's stressful. What about talking about how they should correct their behavior? The advice is good but none of this stuff has worked in any of my relationships, even when bending over backwards. My family can see it, including the woman so what she's that mean. What about when their families can see how they treat you? It's not necessarily the man's fault. Yeah there's a science but it's not definitive or absolute. I've seen men get ran over by their wives.
@@TheMarriageFoundation Let me be more specific. The use of profanity, constant raising of the voice when they're checked, with patience mind you, and the cognitive dissonance about immoral behavior that can be called out by myself as well as the family.. Subjective, I think not. The problem is, there's too many ways to find excuses for the inexcusable.
IF shes being like that, SHE may be cheating.
Play this out loud next to said wife 🤣
Very helpful, thanks
Thank you, subscribed.
Welcome aboard!
Lovely piece
Thank you 🙏
Nice addition sir
Thanks
Dude i love you bro. Wish we could be friends.
Great teaching I have learnt a lot.
I understand no anger towards your wife thank you uncle
I've been thinking a lot about sarcasm lately and I really don't want to use it in my interactions with people.
It's ugly but it's one of those things we
Often do without thinking
Good for you! you have free will and volition, so you can change with effort.
You are a master
Just a servant, really.
No, my wife is way more disrespectful than I and it’s something she learned growing up. Disrespect is a learned behavior I see
Everyone thinks theirs is the worse...It isn't, trust me...learn more themarriagefoundation.org/reviews/
@@TheMarriageFoundation mines is not the worse
We need to take into consideration some wives come in with lots of baggage or childhood trauma. Broken homes etc which is this cases the marriage could be a rollercoaster…
Truthfully we should not take that or any other of their past circumstances into consideration because it is not the place of another to analyze their soulmate and "justify" why they behave as they do. It's our honor to love them with all our heart mind and soul, no more. It us all about love, love, and more love.
What about the case where you provide everything but she's not appreciating anything
Everything? I have never seen such a situation. Usually men think material thngs are all that counts, when the only true need is for unconditional love and most have no idea how to cultivate that
Some things are important in life to be discussed with our partner. She never wishes to participate or listen or give her opinion, gets irritated. I try to stay calm and and take some time sometime days for her mood to change to discuss again. But again she gets irritated. And whatever I want to discuss is not even offensive. Its difficult to go ahead without discussing and her participation which is difficult to get.
It is not always easy to avoid topics that are going to be disturbing but unless they are truly critical it is not the worst thing to do. If you can, let it go. It might be best to spend more communicating time expressing your love and appreciation than trying to discuss topics she is afraid of.
@@TheMarriageFoundation ok sir. Thanks.
My wife kept old incidents in her mind and daily fighting to me, please guide me how to handle.
All you can do is learn how to listen and support as you work on being more and more loving.
@@TheMarriageFoundation My wife has started to be sneaky... she asked me could she hang out with her co-workers and I said no because they're homosexuals and not married.... She went out with them anyway behind my back.... I took the course for men... I'm trying my hardest to apply to my life and my marriage with the mastering of my mind... It has worked to a certain extent... M wife still accuses me everyday of looking at other women...I've been killing her with kindness and using the S.E.W technique... it is very hard to do this but I keep putting it into practice and I'm starting to see results... however...I feel like I'm getting taken advantage of.....
Anger doesn’t work. Yelling doesn’t work. Sit down and ask “What can I do to make you feel better?”
Out marriage is in a doen hill at the moment.. communication is bad… it’s like we live apart. It’s like she don’t respect me and don’t care about me opinion . She does what she wants . And don’t let me in.
Get the course for men, unless you can think of another way to turn it around... themarriagefoundation.org/
I was happy before marriage.marriage is not about happiness that's the caboose NOT the brain.maybe I'm looking at it from a biblical perspective
A biblical perspective or misinterpretations of certain passages?
GOD wants us all to be happy in His love and His love is unconditional love. When you create that in your marriage it will be happy beyond your dreams. But if your expectations are great while your efforts are meager you will not have the happiness you crave.
I’m a gambling addict in the beginning stages of recovery phases. I know I’ve have bad financial choices but I’m recovering and now in the early stages of gambling and haven’t gambled in almost two weeks now and every time my wife gets mad she just berates me talks crap about me like how I am lower than a dog. She says she feels sorry for my family and this and that she found out I stole $100 from her almost a month ago when I was on a gambling binge. I’m trying to change but every time she gets mad and she wants me to change but what I’ve noticed is that I’m always the one changing why isn’t she changing I am the imperfect human being why does she make it seem like she’s not a person that needs to change. She’s hard headed but it makes me want to gamble even more just to get her pissed off because how am I to change when things that I’ve asked her to change herself since we first met she hasn’t changed..... she berates me and I always just tell her I don’t want to argue with you I’m trying to stop gambling but she keeps reminding me of how much A failure I am.
One cannot blame others for their flaws and habits, T. You have fed the habit of gambling and now that you have resolved to destroy that habit you need to learn about how to do so. I do not know about what you are using to kill the habit but make sure it focuses on controlling the mind or it will not work. In marriage, one must first correct their own flaws. That is basic.
Do you believe their are roles in a marriage? Do you believe the man is the head of the home and the wife should be submissive. And yes men should love their wives as themselves.
Your talk seems to be that the man should be submissive at all costs even at the expense of his manhood
I am glad you asked because there is much confusion around these topics due to misinterpretations of scripture and misunderstanding of the terms. Being a head of the household doesn't mean that he is a dictator because that translates into his wife becoming a slave to his whims and fancy. If he were a liberated master that would be fine but I am sure we are talking about most of us who are far from perfect. A woman is naturally going to defer to her husband's judgment in many "practical" matters especially those that involve mechanical features but that is just common sense. A wise man will defer to his wife's heart-centeredness in many situations, too, even in practical matters that require more finesse.
I never suggest a man be submissive either. Both of you are souls and bring love to the marriage and should strive to make each other happier.
@@TheMarriageFoundationyou only hold one party accountable and not the woman. It’s nothing but excuse for her actions. How about some women don’t know how to speak and control their tongues. It’s not the man had anger all the time. Men can take the high road but still get attacked because of unrealistic expectations and unmanaged emotions. Women often can be disrespectful but the Man has to always ignore it and take the higher role. We went from one extreme of women having no say to now men are to just shut up and when the wife does wrong men must look at themselves. Ok. Sorry but it’s two parties two roles. Once you marry you commit to doing your role…todays world says even though you’re married hold back until certain conditions are met. Exactly why divorce is high…everyone sabatoging their own relationships
@@michaelsmith1364 there are more men who marry the wrong woman and vice verca.