The UNTOLD STRUGGLES of BLACK IMMIGRANT Children in CANADA
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- čas přidán 16. 03. 2024
- This is a call to action for every parent of immigrant kids especially black kids in Canada. We must change these patterns so that the outcomes for our children will be different.
You can find my other parenting videos below:
MY TIPS ON RAISING EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN - • MY TIPS ON RAISING EXC...
HOW WE ARE RAISING OUR CHILDREN IN CANADA
• HOW WE ARE RAISING OUR...
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This is why I don’t take people serious when they say they’re doing it for the kids. It’s total bullshit! The kids didn’t ask for this mess, the parents did it for themselves.
Don't be so harsh on the parents, sometimes it is for both parents and children. Most parents are suffering in silence. You have to walk in someone's shoes to understand. Peace be with you 🙏🏿
@@nadiamombrun2340 most of them do follow follow! They were living a comfortable life but follow what others were doing without thinking of the consequences.
@@antnam4406 I can say 60% is follow follow
@antnam4406 thank you
Wowww aunty M..... this video spoke directly to me😔. I had to experience a great loss in business for the Holy Spirit to show me how I'm failing my family. In his word, my business has become an idol and my children have been left mother themselves. I really cried and I'm doing better now
Sending you big hugs mama. Thank God for the holy spirit. Glad to know you are doing better
Sis Marina, this is real ❤. It applies even in our home countries. God bless you .
I gave this video a thumbs up even before watching it. I will soon be relocating with my 14, 11, and 3 year old children, and even though, I tell myself we are doing this for them, I am very worried of how they will cope and adjust to this change. I have been looking for information and resources to equip myself in helping them, but unfortunately, most videos from immigrants are silent on how the children have adjusted to the new land.
Please Marina, can you do like a follow-up video to talk about specific discussions we need to have with these children, especially the older ones, and specific strategies to help them settle down on time.
What kind of challenges are they likely to face at school….how can we prepare them for issues such as bullying. What are the discipline strategies one can adopt, especially knowing we cannot do the gragra we do here over there.
Once again, thank you Marina for this video. God bless you a million times.
Thank you very much. I will do a follow up video with my husband. Children are more resilient than we give them credit for. They will adjust but will need some guidance. We will talk more about it.
Always talk to them. Share stories with them. Let them know that they can come to you anytime
When they are bullied, they might not want to talk. Let them feel confident about being African. Tell them that they must love themselves first
Go out with them to theme parks, outings. Play football etc with them
Pray. You need the Hoky Spirit to reveal secrets to you
This is very true. I know a couple, both are doctors, they had to move out of predominantly rich white neighborhood to an average racially diverse cheaper neighborhood. I asked them why? They said their kids were bullied daily & it was affecting them and the kids psychologically. Relocating is very challenging for both the parents & young kids.
Thanks marina for bringing this up. Many parents do not realize the struggles of the children until its too late. May we be identify our priorities and keep them in the right place. Parents always say we are doing it for the children but then children end up becoming sacrificed, left alone to sort their lives.
I came to the US at 11, sister 14, and brother 6, 55 years ago. We cried as if in mourning for a year when we got here. I remember writing to my friends until i stopped. As i became a teenager it became difficult navigating friends, boys, life, etc. Looking back i desired to stay in Barbados until i was 18 then come to US continue my education. Today although i was born in Barbados i deem myself an American because i know more about American culture than Barbados. My reasons for adopting African American culture is due to bad experience visiting Barbados and being treated unkindly.
Love your advice. It's so important. I'm reading books about raising Christian children in this culture. I'm keeping my wfm job even though I could get one with better pay, but they want me in the office. I'm trying hard to manage screen time.
I'm carrying my tired body to drive my kid to weekly activities at church once a week even though I just want to rest after work. I'm trying to to learn how to host kids of other races in our home. We have been accepting invites to other people's homes or parties and we are having people over too. We bought an older home in a neighborhood closer to school, work, and church we want to raise our family in vs a brand new home for same price further away so we can be better involved in the church and community, plus we both don't enjoy driving much. Hubby and I took 2hrs off work 2days ago to go read to my son's class at school. We worked later at night. I know a family that deliberately ran a one car family for several years and it helped them to be stuck with each other.
Different things work for different families and I'm curious to learn more here.
Thanks for dealing with this important topic here Marina. You just gained a subscriber.
Well said, you have said it all Mama, we are new to Canada recently went to the park with my kids to play since we have indoors since we came because of the snow, my lil mama is a bubbly and friendly girl who would approach you and introduce herself, see kids her age and caĺl them her friends. So she was play with her kid brother when two white kids came to the park after school to play, already he had approached one cute friendly white boy who played with her but these two kids gave my girl we are not ready to play with you attitude, as innocent as she is she kept approaching them and I had to call and explain even when we went home I explained. I was a bit sad for her and was like wooow what if she z aware and comes home to express her hurts and mum is busy dad is busy I can imagine....... my mum is still by bestie aside my hubby and I pray God helps me build that relationship with my kids....bless you ♥️🙏
Awwww, that is so nice that you were available to help her manage that. It does get tough for our kids and we need to be more present to help them navigate the confusion. Thanks a lot for sharing that.
This is exactly the problem. In a racist society it’s not easy to shield our children because they experience racism from fellow students, sometimes teachers, when they go shopping, everywhere. You can’t be there to protect them all the time. You can only have frank conversations and support them as much as you can. Also not enough role models for them. Back in Africa they see more achievers that look like them than in Canada. My job as a human rights officer has exposed me to the underbelly of racism and it’s difficult for adults leave alone children and young adults. Immigrants from the African continent suffer most because we are not socialized to navigate racism and micro aggressions. Black peoples from the Caribbean and Jamaica fare better in navigating the system as they have been born and grown in it. I have no answer honestly except that Canada has to stop being racist. It’s a systemic issue
Isn't it so ironic that the reason most parents move abroad is majorly to give their kids the best and for them to now be absent because they're trying to make ends meet😞 Thanks for bringing this topic up
Right? Ironic, we can do so much better.
Grass is never greener
@@Akajasi children neglect in abroad is worse than in our homeland. There is children play with and relate with, but abroad life leads to mental illness, ofcourse its not seen with our naked eyes but its ruining our children 😢
I think they want the benefits from their kids later in life. No parent will live abroad for the sake of their children, but to live their own better life, obviously, their children have to go to school, but when they graduate from college the parents expect benefits from their kids. I speak the truth! Truth are bitter, but we have to accept the truth 😂
@@Akajasi Exactly. I wish more parents would realize these days it is best to remain in your home country. Stay and make it a better place for your own folks. The best time to have come to these countries as minorities was years ago. My parents came in 1967. Canada is no longer the place to be for Black folks in my humble opinion.
This is the biggest fear for parents who relocate and it really scares me. Most especially in liberal/western climes. In Nigeria, our concerns may be around pregnancy, to some extent cultism, weed exposure, but in the western world, the issues are worse and the law sort of supports them. We need to be close to our children, engage them, talk to them and understand what they are going through. Moving abroad is good but last last, we are only trading the challenges of our home country with the challenges of another country. Let's not forget who we are and where we come from. well done on this Marina. I know of people who sent their kids to Western universities but had to pull them back after 1 or 2 years when it seems thier lives are getting worse. May God help us!
This is a very serious topic. I was recently with some youth workers and we were talking about pressures teenagers face, it's a lot different than it is in Nigeria, I was shocked at some of them. Parents really have to pay a lot of attention to their children. Their brains are still developing and they are quite confused and need mentorship, guidance and prayers. Btw, I love your top, the colour suits you😍
Thank you so much!
I agree with you. When my niece and nephew joined their mother and step father in England, they were neglected so they turned to the streets for acceptance. The boy joined a drug mule gang and the girl was violated by her stepfather and then went on to be pregnant at 16 by her then boyfriend. They have both overcome their situations and have forgiven their mother who was not a nice person back then.
Thank you Marina for bringing this conversation. My son who was a teenager had serious struggles when we first moved to Canada. Thank God we noticed it and had constant conversations with our son which made him safe with us and cope with the changes he encountered. Thankfully he was able to settle in and is doing very well and almost through with Uni. I will just advise immigrant parents to be more intentional with keeping very good relationships with their children. Money is important but na the children bring most of us to this side.
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing
❤thank you for bringing this to light. As a child when id bring this up it was not taken seriously. It was "I came to this country to give you a better life, you have opportunity" which is true. However i never understood how parents dont think how being in a minority in the developmental phase of life affects their children. It does. Very negatively at times.
My dad was very intentional when it came to everything kids. He introduce himself to our principal and all our teacher's. He was on parent teachers committee etc etc. We would never misbehave because the teachers knew my dad. So manythings teenagers did that i never did.
This was my mum too and it didn't help that she was also a teacher.
Thanks for sharing, Marina. We need more ideas of how to make this work. It's a great reminder.
Great video Marina! Moving abroad is very difficult for kids, especially.
I moved to the UK in 2009, when my kids were 12 and 9yrs old. It was difficult especially for my son who was older.
Infact we almost sent him home because we felt helpless and couldn't bare seeing him depressed constantly. A lot of support helped him and us through it all.
Now he's a happy young man in his mid twenties and both kids are doing fine.
I have lots of tips to help immigrants. I agree with all your advice to parents.
I'll add the following.
* Be involved in your kids school life and join their school's parent's group.
* If you have any concerns regarding bullying please report it to their class teacher.
* You need to find a support system for you and your family like a Church or Mosque as the case may be.
Don't isolate yourself.
* Don't shut your kids down if your children open up to you about their struggles.
* Watch out for who they hang out with.
Etc. I'm open to share my journey with others to help them. I currently work as support worker in a Primary School in the UK.
Beautiful suggestions ❤️
Great video sis
We and the children are really struggling
The system is not pro mom
Creating a balance with all these hats we carry can be hard
Lord help us all as we keep putting our best foot forward
So true. Wishing you all the best
My daughter is an adult and the trauma she experienced in the school system and racism has affected her deeply. I was a present parent but I couldn’t shield her. She is permanently impacted health wise
I am so sorry to hear. Racism is such a horrible thing for anyone to experience. Praying for healing for your daughter🙏
@@MARINAESIRI if I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have immigrated. I came as a landed immigrant as a skilled worker but still struggled. Am very comfortable now with a great job earning six figure income but the racism and discrimination I have endured was not one my daughter could. In retrospect self worth, dignity, acceptance, and a sense of belonging is far greater than material success. Thanks for your empathy
@@Acacia01I love your sincerity,May the lord heal her and also comfort you.
Please get her motivational books written by black who had overcome such and please pray for her ,it helps especially with her.
There is nothing wrong with finding a competent and empathetic child therapist to help your daughter. Sometimes when the damage is already done parents may not be equipped to help the child.
@Acacia01 so sorry what your daughter is going through. Please get her help and help her reconnect with her roots. If you don't mind, could you share some of the experiences she went through that is causing her all this pain?
Ready and waiting for this to drop❤
I have just recorded a video on this same topic, but from the perspective of a Nigerian who is a teacher in the diaspora. Truly powerful stuff in this video and it is time we wake up and stop the tide before we lose sight of our purpose. Definitely a new subscriber and I look forward to working on future projects like this with you.
I will check it out. What's your channel name? Thank you very much
Diaspora Doodles 😊
Thank you so much. This is a serious topic that posses a serious threat to the family. Indeed what we stand to loose is much more than whatever we are prioritizing at this moment
Exactly! I hope this helps us reprioritize
Keep encouraging them and reminding them why it will be good for them. With a different accent, different views, food, etc it cannot be easy. Even with children born in a country that are of a different colour, its not always easy.
Thank you Marina, you couldn't have said it any better and i have learnt alot from all that you have said. Sending lots of hugs and appreciation. Kiitos paljon.
Thanks so much Marina; this is indeed so helpful....
Much love ❤. Looking forward for more of this
I love the back to back uploads.
Marina is backkkkkk.🥳
Back like i never vanished small.
Thank you very much for this video...This is such an important topic, the bit about discipline is important many of our people don't understand the difference between abuse and discipline, I usually tell parents being verbally and physically violent does not mean that your child will necessary be respectful or will be a well rounded individual. In these countries especially we really need to find different ways to discipline our children, not providing children with structure and boundaries is a major problem, along with many of our parents' absence in the children's lives. Unfortunately, many African parents even back home belief that providing food for children and a roof over their heads is sufficient, back home many parents get away with it because children have so many other support structures available (alloparenting does children wanders back home). Unfortunately, here in these countries children are left to fend for themselves. I'm new to Canada but I see the trends, I see how many of our African children are being incarcerated for crimes, others have died from drug overdoses. But this is because many parents are focused making money not always for survival as some would like to claim but because they want to build mansions back home (AND THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WORNG WITH THAT). My point is many people lose focus on their priorities, our children are our main priority...we need to do more. We need to discuss this more with each other.
Thank you for sharing t is a reminder that needs to be heard by all black families
Marina thank you so much. I got so much value. I'll definitely be sharing. God bless you 🙏
This is everything, Rina! We gotta keep these convos going on. A clash of cultures and environments can influence who and what our kids turn into, and as they get older. We need to be present and keep talking, with love and diplomacy, and pray for their ability to comprehend and accept the right choices.
The only way is to instil core family values and self-awareness into your children at a tender age and make time for family.
Thank you for this, Marina. It was a timely video because we, as parents in the diaspora, have to do better
You are so welcome!
Marinaaaaaa! When next I see you, I will give you 5 hugs. God bless you. This video is too apt. Well done! Well done!
Thank you! 😃
Thank you Marina for bringing up this important topic!
Thanks so much for this piece Madam
,my Pastor organised a seminar on a topic like this a while ago,it shocked me that only few parent showed up for the program with all the publicity.
When i see black kids in public places losing their sanity and identity ,i feel pained .
I prayed the money we are looking for will not be used for legal issue on our children.
God please us especially Mothers
Thank you Marina for bringing our attention to this very important topic
My pleasure!
Very good advice my sis may GOD almighty bless you ❤
nice video. thank you. I took some things away from it
Hmmm. Marina, Good talk. Many parents have talked and reasoned like you. We even judge older parents of not doing enough. Try as you may, kids will still explore and fathom their own path in life.
I agree that some parents are too focused on work and relent in their responsibilities raising their kids… But I know of parents who dedicated their time and efforts to their kids but the kids still got swept away by peer pressure. Many parents don’t open up to friends and families of their challenges because they know the society will still blame them. It is when you get there that you will understand what I’m talking about. What do I mean by when you get ‘there’ . ‘There’ is a destination that you and I know nothing about until it dawns on us that our so called best efforts might not be good enough.
My advice is for parents to do their best and leave the rest to God in prayer. Never blame your parenting if things don’t work your way. ..Your kids only choose their path
Of course, I agree that children find their path regardless but the people who strayed even in loving homes are the exception not the norm. We will all do our part and leave the rest.
Thanks so much ma for this informative video as well as your other videos. As a father of 15, 13 and 11, I can say it's from one challenge to other as they grow. But one thing that have always bothered me is that I've not seen us (Africans and especially Nigerians) working together like I've seen in most other immigrants (May be Aunty Mariana have better info on this). I'm not trying to say those others don't have their challenges and struggles too, but I've seen them coming to the rescue of each other quite quickly. May be we should be looking in that direction too as this can also help the kids with the identity crisis.
I see a future where you organise masterclasses on all the different aspects of being an immigrant, from finance to marriage, childcare to career progression. You're amazing, Marina. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and being the avatar of the black community in Canada
AMEN!!! My family is Jamaican, and this hits home. Thank you Sister!
You are so welcome
Thank you for starting this conversation it is so important.
thank you very much my daughter God bless you l love you
Always valid views from you Marina...Thank you for sharing.
As minorities we have to work double hard to create communiTy. In an environment where the government is also complicit and actively endorsing certain things as 'okay' and even 'desirable'. Community is the only way to survive/thrive-can we form African/Naija (depending on the critical mass in the area) based summer camps, band camps, religious retreats-where the youths can socialize, form bonds etc. So we can mimic what the other cultures are doing. It's not just African restaurant and Afrobeats in lounges. Nature abhors a vacuum, if we are not influencing our children, the environment they live in will!
You are so right. It is not just in Canada that these things happen but everywhere. I as born in the USA and so was my son. My son just finished colliege. The first I do was move out of a neighborhood where gangs and drugs were on every street corner. Then when he was 7 or 8 I got him into sports. It was an extra expense. But I thought it is better to spend the money on sports then bailing him out of jail. And it worked he was to busy to hang out with gangs. He tried several different sports until he found the one he liked. Also the minute you think or are told of trouble no matter how small. Don't ignore it. It will not pass. Kids have to know you are on their side or they will find other so called friends.
I couldn't have out it better. Thank you, Patricia.
It is important for parents to build a strong bond with their children so that the children feel comfortable talking to them about any challenges they may be facing, rather than seeking advice from outsiders.
You are correct. Some others will pretend to be their friends but in reality they are jealous. That is why it is important to live in the best neighborhood we can afford. So that they go to school with everyone who are equals or have more.
Not everywhere it does not happens in africa.It happens in the west .Europe,America and Asia
Great content thank you! Mom of a 5 year old in Calgary AB, she starts school this September, please keep it coming and thank you for sharing. ❤ new subbie! 🎉
Thank you! Will do! Welcome aboard
Thank you Marina. ❤
Oh my! I watch high school kids movies as well to stay in touch with my kids experiences - I 💯 relate with that!
This is timely for me, thank you so much for sharing.
You are so welcome
Thank you for your message ❤❤
Great presentation. Educate the parents and guardians they all need to be aware. Spend quality time with the kids. Show them you care. It builds character and self confidence.
Thank you Marina
Well done mama. I shall be sharing this in our next women’s meeting. I am not in Canada but it applies to all. Thanks ones again ❤
Thank you very much
I'm not a parent yet, but i already have a planned out moves for me and my kids. We gonna be friends till eternity ❤. Thanks for sharing....
If you intend to make another video, kindly include what questions to ask them and how to ask them... i need to stay ahead. Thanks Mrs Esiri❤
Sounds great! All the best!
God bless you for sharing this 🙏
Thanks for dis video, this speaks directly to me right now.
Thanks Marina for this “call to action” video. A much needed reminder for African/Black diasporan parents.
Screen time is a big one and as a parent, I’m guilty of sometimes overindulging my daughter in it because I’m too busy doing my own thing. Hubby and I are now intentional about limiting screen time during school weeks because if left to her own devices, she’ll be glued to electronic devices. (No pun intended 😊).
It is important to engage our children in extracurriculars. These activities help them to learn and develop foundational life skills and keep them out of trouble, as it were. I can’t help but notice how black kids are significantly absent when we go for extracurriculars.
I’ll be sharing this video with some intending immigrants who are hoping to relocate to Canada soon.
Thank you very much Oge! I appreciate the gift. You are so right, the screen time is a big one.
Definitely agree. I live in the UK.
Very few black children in extracurricular activities. Black parents rarely take time off to chill with their children.
Amazing content Marina❤ As a child protection practitioner I endorse this message.
Fantastic video! Thanks a lot for sharing this. I love traveling round to countries where I work with my children. I ask my teenage daughter to invite her friends to the house where I can view how she handles herself when with her peers. I have learned a lot and it provides me discussion points when we are discussing. We just need to create time and also pray for our kids. They are dealing with a lot of pressures.
That is a great idea. Thank you for the valuable contribution.
Thank you, Marina. The video is timely.
You're so welcome!
New subscriber here🎉🎉. You've got me hooked..... my break period will be spent on your page😂
That is a good problem to have. Thank you very much and welcome to the squad!
Great content, Marina.👏🏾👏🏾
Yay! Thank you!
Spot on sis. Thanks for sharing
Thank you ma for this. It means a lot
Thanks Marina. I just want everybody to take care of their children. It is really getting out of hands, honestly.
We will do better. Thanks a lot
Thank you so much for this video Marina, this is so true same thing i keep telling my friends, infact i just share the video to all my friends.main reason why we move is to give better life to our children. God bless you marina
Thanks for sharing!!
That library one is a whole load of untapped resources. My city organized some set of free activities this march break and i could count on my hand how many 'black parents/kids attended or showed up at these events.
I plan to apply the library a lot more and I hope more parents do too. Thanks for pointing it out.
You are very right 💯 I noticed that in our own public library
Almost as if people don't even know that these resources exist or are just not ready to explore them.
I live in Australia. And I'm usually the only black parent in every event.
Fantastic suggestion which I wish more parents would heed.
Insightful video...God bless you for sharing this topic
Thank you
I like the presentation idea for getting new stuff. My kids would actually find that interesting
I just subscribed to your channel because what you have relayed here just sounds like me talking. Thanks!
I just had to comment. Marina, thank you for making this video. You have said the truth here. God will help us
You are so welcome
Very BIG thanks for this update Nice one watching from Bangkok Thailand
Love this! Thank you Marina
Thank you
Thanks for sharing sis.
You are so welcome
This is a brilliant, thank you Marina
Thanks Marina, you are truely phenomenal 🥰
Wow, thank you!
Actually Marina, you just confirmed my fear. I am so scared of negative peer pressure on my kids when we finally arrive. Thanks for this amazing piece you made my day.❤❤❤
You got this!
Very important topic, well done.
Waiting waiting !😅❤
Looking forward to more this wake up calls
❤❤❤❤ you said it all ma'am..
I have being a cover teacher in 10 different schools in the UK. It's actually laughable to think abroad is better than Nigeria in schooling- primary and secondary. It takes the grace of God to have your kids behave well. Adults Nigerians can't really beat their chests to tell you their kids are of the best behavior.
I think they both have good and bad sides
Thank you so much for this informative video. I'm in Australia raising toddlers and I just love your advice. This is why I quit my jobs so I can have more time with my children and raise them myself than having other people with no morals raise my children.
Thanks very much Ma,
Well said Marina
Thank you for a very insightful video. It is worth our support as parents to help our children navigate the immigration/integration equation. However, where does that leave us (mothers and fathers) because we too are new to these settings and the way of life. There should be parental support too for adult immigrants because it seems we are caught up in the traditional roles of our origin. I am happy to discuss this with you. I am an immigrant too.
I legit shed a tear watching this for so many reasons. I find it hard to "befriend" my kids, and I know that's something I need to fix. though they're still relatively young, I know that it's the best time to fix that. Thanks for sharing this. It's a clarion call indeed. Thank you once again
You have to keep trying to gain your children's trust. It will take time, persistence, consistence and patience. There must have been things done in the past to make the children not trust you. Be disciplined and genuinely take note of your actions with them and around them. It does not mean you cannot discipline your children for bad behavior but seek first to understand the behavior before disciplining. Thank God they are still young.
Great job marina🎉
you nailed it!
Thank you Ma
You are so welcome
💯 on point.. thanks ma'ma ❤
You are so welcome
She is back and ready, Yemisi
She is and I’m soooo excited.
yaaaas mama
Very important information good for every family not only you in diaspora
This is one of the best videos I have watched in a while
Thank you for this wakeup call
Any time
Thank you 🤗
That culture thing is key!!! Lets not Discard our culture, Lets merge it into the Canadian culture. Lets not forget to make out time to bond with our children as well, lets live within our means, so we dont have to hustle too hard paying bills and thus neglecting our children. God help us 🙏
Do not work too much. Tgey need you. You cannot leave them on their own for long
Thank you!. Great content
My pleasure!