How do Autistic People Experience Love?
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- čas přidán 27. 05. 2024
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0:00 intro
0:16 I fell in love quickly
3:29 my partner wants more physical intimacy than me
7:13 I was nervous to join this relationship
10:57 I want kids on the spectrum
13:18 I have felt difficult to love - Zábava
I'm autistic and I love seeing autistics in love. it gives me hope that I will have someone someday.
Me too !!
❤
Autism is like the ultimate block when it comes to dating.
I'm autistic and have been happily married for nearly 10 years, it absolutely can happen and I hope it happens to you. :)
Amen.
seeing them all IMMEDIATELY turn to their partners for comfort after being so vulnerable was so cute im almost mad about it
totally
love how you said that. for me, that' s goals
uhh alright
@@zavE.T.a I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely mad and are just joking.
@@zavE.T.a This is exactly what I do! I make notes to gauge the weaknesses of others and log these mentally so that I can exploit them whenever I need to in order to achieve my goals. Never miss an opportunity to add things into your arsenal cos you just never know when they might be useful.
The black couple with kids is literally one of the most healthy sounding relationships I’ve seen
Absolutely. So uplifting
They broke up. It's such a shame since they seemed to be doing well
@@Esthie229 this isn’t true they’re still married
@@urgrandma8757 What makes you think that? Maybe they haven’t divorced yet but they have both stated on their instagram that they have separated.
I love seeing this because I have never seen a black couple where someone is autistic.
Not seeing enough comments about how loving, supportive, and kind all of Terry’s words were. His passion for her and their children was so evident through his words 🤍 wish all these couples the best in all they do
Truly he’s the best!
agreed
yesss ❤️ it was so beautiful to hear
They are not together anymore. Just shows how you can never look at anyone and assume you know how they feel or what they are going through
@@Esthie229omg where do you know this from?
When he said “she’s someone I want to retrain my brain with” it totally made me tear up… that is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard
“The nervousness will have to come to an end. And I think this is the person I want to retrain my brain into doing that with” so beautiful
That's the kind of abstract Words of Affirmation that I want to consistently give people.
It was a fun experience meeting a whole spectrum of folks. Thanks Jubilee for having me and Rae share our experience with y'all 🙂
You are awesome.
You're the one I identified with most & I'm really glad you decided to participate.
Thank you & many blessings
U were by far the funniest most relatable of the bunch my guy
haha i want you to know i really like how honest you are! it’s something i find very admirable. also i think i saw you in another video.
Nice hair cut mr chai tea
I just want to say that, at least in this video, you didn't come off as awkward at all, you came off as aware and that awareness made you anxious, because it seems like you put a lot of effort and care into making sure you're understood and are communicating effectively. That awareness will use up some of your brainpower, as will the anxiety that awareness brings you, and you'll be more easily overwhelmed and feel out of place the more you distance yourself from the moment with those thoughts which are more or less a distraction that keeps you too in your head, but it shows that you're passionate about every moment, and it doesn't make you awkward. I think, for me, understanding that and knowing it's safe to turn the volume down on that part of my brain is what lead me to feeling okay within my body, within a moment, and within my life. Turning that down is what helped me be okay with physical intimacy enough to enjoy it properly because if you're so in your head during the act of being intimate with your partner, then of course it's just going to feel exhausting and overwhelming. Your head is where you feel safe and allowing yourself to be immersed in the moment is a vulnerability that feels overwhelming. It's a loss of control, and anxiety is your brain feeling like it doesn't have control. Knowing your partner trusts you and trusting them to let your guard down enough to not be in your head and just enjoy the physicality of sharing that moment with someone and embracing that feeling, that's the key. Communicating passionately with your body, being in sync with another person, that's what will bring you closer together. It's trusting them with having control instead of you. Look at how far apart you were during that question and consider what the root cause of that gap is so you can overcome it and become closer than you've ever allowed yourself to be. These are just words to think about, as someone who has struggled with intimacy in the past and who related very strongly to the words and experiences you two have shared in this video. I can't tell you how to think or what to do and I would never try to, but in the way you shared your experiences, I wanted to share mine so you can digest what I have to say and maybe gain something from it the way so many people have gained from what you've said.
You’re amazing ! I really enjoyed hearing your answers . Best wishes to you and Rae 😊!!
When chai said I learned through fists instead of hugs my heart literally shattered. Both me & my son are on the spectrum, & I just couldn't imagine doing that to my child or any child ever! How can anyone do that? I'll never understand. Chai is so cool, sweet & funny! I hope he knows he's special & deserves love & happiness! All of them do, they're all beautiful people. Thank you all for being open & vulnerable!
agree🥺
i- i thought he meant fist bumps until i saw this comment and it clicked 😭😭
no child deserves that tho i agree
Far too many neurodivergent people are often viewed as easy targets and outsiders. I'm not on the spectrum, but I have ADHD, and sometimes I myself can struggle to notice blatant social cues. I don't know if I interpreted him wrong, but I took it as him needing to be shut off from emotions. When I was younger I did the same to avoid the hurt. I had no friends (heck, I still don't), and if I allowed myself to be weak others would have completely broken me. It can be hard to let go and forgive oneself for all the self-judgment.
@@v1760side also that might be true, I think his perspective was more coming from inside of the household. As he is part of an Asian family it isn't unlikely, that there was a lot of physical 'disciplination' instead of open communication. On top of the cold father role that the last generations of father's had as an ideal for some reasons. I guess it stays with you when there is violence in your family, regardless of you being neurotypical or not.
i thought they meant fist bumps
Chai’s so sweet. I love the way he seems to understand that the way he expresses himself isn’t necessarily normal or conventional, but continues to speak his mind regardless and just puts the things he’s thinking out there.
I don’t have autism, but I do have an anxiety disorder that presents very similarly to autism (and often gets misdiagnosed) and I really relate to him and his awkwardness lol
GAD?
@@qhyirrghsteinne3109 yep
@@qhyirrghsteinne3109 selective mutism
@@timbredan3476 nope
Same
So cute how Connor will look so zoned out sometimes when the fellow couples are speaking but as soon as Christina starts talking he's attentive 9:52
Yes!! It’s so sweet
Tionne: Aww, that is so cute. Maybe her voice gives him comfort 🤷🏻♀️.
I love how he paid attention to each of her answers and acknowledged them when it was his turn. they're so sweet together
I mean being disinterested in others is pretty common, and also Chai makes a lot of noise and moves around a lot which can be quite triggering, so dissociation isn't an unexpected outcome.
Interesting observation! I personally relate to that as considering eye contact incredibly sacred and vulnerable for your close circle (I only feel truly comfortable looking in my partner’s eyes) and I listen betttterr*** with anyone else when not*** looking in their eyes. It’s less about attentiveness and more about boundaries of connection.
Thank you so much for this amazing experience! I felt so seen ❤
- Ayumi
aww you are seen!
Thank you guys for inviting my wife and I. This whole experience was therapeutic and life changing. I’m forever grateful.
-Terry
@@TerryLashley_ Ayo bro you cool🤝
loved both of you on this video! also in love with your style Ayumi ❤
YALL ARE THE CUTEST
Hi everyone!! It’s Christina! Thank you so much for all the kind comments
omg girl do you have instagram i wanna follow you!!
Rocking that goth look girl.
You are a lovely couple. I wish you all the best for the future
@@dissident3227 just need to fix the grey face lol
You are so beautiful and perfect.
I absolutely love Terri and Ayumi's relationship
Thank you!
When he started talking about why he wasn't nervous about the relationship I teared up soooo hard
@@skyechang1309 yeah!! And when he talked about how it’s actually so easy to love Ayumi I cried so hard ❤️🩹
Beautiful couple, both setting an amazing example 💓
Edit: spacing
they broke up :(
@@ennvee1989please tell me your joking
Alternative titles
- How do people with autism love?
- How do autistic people experience love?
- what’s it like to love while autistic?
- how do autistic couples experience love?
- how do people with Autism navigate love?
- what is love to people with autism?
- what love is like for people with autism
- how do autistic couples love?
- how is love different for people with autism?
I put these because I saw a lot of comments on it, i have autism too. Loved the video
Seriously. Clickbaity title treating us like some kind of rare species.
Or "Love and the interpersonal challenges on the autism spectrum" (?)
@@arwenstrong2818 but at the end of the day you guys are different, and u should admire it! It doesn't rlly matter tho .
yeah the title is awful - it makes it sound like autistic people falling in love is smth super shocking.
@GODlover you mean "admit"? A medical diagnosis isn't really something to "admit." But I don't MIND admitting it because I DO "admire" unashamed autistics, lol.
Glad it doesn't really matter though. 🙂
I like how they didn’t sugarcoat the difficulties and how they all have their own systems that work for them. Great video, also Ayumi is stunning and a sweetie!❤️
Thank you! ❤
@@TerryLashley_ of course! blessings to you and your family :)
We autistics are experts at not sugarcoating things LOL
@@justahugenerd1278 we also say what we mean, which people don’t like?? They think there is always a hidden meaning within our words or that we are implying something, when we are just stating objective facts. Example: saying “I don’t like this type of candy” and they think you are complaining.
@@RichielaurensIIIeah thats cool honestly don't really like when peoplle sugarcoat
I totally felt the bit that Connor said about gravitating towards other neurodivergent people. I'm autistic. All my close friends growing up? ADHD or undiagnosed autism. My current girlfriend and the flirtation I had before her? ADHD. My current friend group? AuDHD and BPD and bipolar disorder. It's encouraging to find community in one another even if we don't have all of the same struggles.
2 out of my 4 friends have ADHD and my first (n last) boyfriend also had autism n adhd. i recently got diagnosed w adhd
BPD isn't neurodivergence. It's a personality disorder. A mental illness. Totally different.
I'm autistic but I somehow gravitated to neurotypicals more but honest ones, not the ones that speak in circles and play guessing games
@@mydogeatspukeit can be considered neurodivergent, depending on who you ask.
@@leafwashere__1 nah, it can't, because it isn't. Anyone who thinks it is is objectively wrong.
I absolutely LOVE Chai, he's so genuine. Him and Rae and sooo cute! Perfect match.
People think that autistic people can't fall in love? Lmao of course we fall in love
I think there's a lot of misconceptions about autism and people in the spectrum in general
The tiltes are always obvious answers, thats how they do it. For example, 'do all feminist think the same' of course not all of them think the same you know, the idea is to compare ways of thinking, experiences, break stereotypes, etc:)
it’s just a title..obviously not smart to realize
If you do not care about the literature (most people) you would think that.
@@xsenpai5179 Did you forget what you're talking to? They can't read faces, body language, or rooms, were you expecting video titles to be any different?
Terry is such a kind and warming person. I love how he talked about Ayumi and their children. He seems so patient and i love that.
I’m not on the spectrum I just want to say how much I’ve learned from Terry and Ayumi specifically! It’s amazing to think you could’ve lived for so long without a diagnosis and have learned it through your children. What a wonderful story. Thank you for sharing! I wish you and your family nothing but the best
It's actually pretty common for people to be diagnosed after their children nowadays, epecially when it comes to women or those assigned female at birth. This is in large part due to masking, where you hide or mask your traits from others and sometimes even from yourself. I didn't know I was autistic until I was 23 because I masked so well that it became automatic/second nature. I had no idea what masking was and never once considered the fact that I could be autistic, I always just thought I was awkward lol
Even with me finding out at 23 that is still quite young. I know there are many people in their 50s, 60s, and beyond who are only just now getting diagnosed. So you can definitely go a long time, sometimes almost your entire life, without a diagnosis. Then there are also many people who are never diagnosed at all.
@@rad_cat11 Wtf is "assigned female at birth"? Are you okay?
@@TryingtoTellYou afab
You know, when you're born female, but some people don't feel like that so they could be trans so nonbinary or male but their diagnosis was maybe missed because they were percieved as female and we know that they're usually more missed
If you want to see what the majority of autistic people are like, watch *Love on the Spectrum.* These people were very high functioning.
@Thawne how come what??
I'd love to see a BPD (borderline personality not bipolar) video. As the girl in black mentioned she had (emotional deregulation, rage and paranoia as a disorder) and it would be interesting to hear different people's experiences with this and how they feel as there is so much misconception!
EDIT: The three terms in brackets referr to what the girl herself said that simply remind me of how those who briefly mention their disorder without saying what it is tend to refer to especially emotional dysreg which is a coined bpd term. Not saying she for sure has this or that those are the only symptoms. It's varies
The core of BPD is something very different than just those 3 symptoms you listed. Never heard anyone put it that narrowly specific way. 🤔 Interesting.
I feel this completely! Great idea
I genuinely believe bpd is a derivative of autism. So this video might be relatable to all kinds of people
@@cris_here it can be comorbid, or exist along side autism but its super different, and actually shares more symptoms in common with ADHD but yeah its definitely not exclusively connected to autism
I definitely didn't relate super hard to anyone in the video for myself, as a person with adhd and bpd, but my autistic partner probably would!
Chai’s answer to having kids on the spectrum broke my heart.
I completely understand where he is coming from and it’s so sad our society faults us for not following some established criteria that don’t fit us.
It’s hard.
I thought he meant; whatever they are, he will love his children as they are
My bf is on the spectrum and is by far the most loving and passionate person I’ve been with❤. Being with him has taught me more about patience and how to be kinder to others
what does being on the spectrum mean? like does he have autism?
@@breeayeezy yes, he has autism. People usually call it a spectrum because there’s different types of cases, from high functioning (being able to take care of themselves among other things) to low functioning (having a difficult time/or sometimes not at all being able to take care of themselves, etc)
@@personified3500 ah now u got it ty!
@@personified3500 My boyfriend would probably say the same. I'M the one with Autism.
@@personified3500 agree but just want to say real quick that the terms high functioning/low functioning can be really insulting to a lot of people
I love when he said "I got you girl" omg my heart 😂❤It's powerful how they pointed out that we're advised to love in a way that seems normal to those who are neurotypical, when there's truly just no one way for anyone. Loved watching this ❤
Hearing Chai say he isn't or wasn't used to love and physical touch.
That's me growing up.
I still don't believe "I love you" when it's said to me.
Words are futile devices. Only an attempt to say how we feel. How do we communicate when we just don't have the words that really fit for how we feel? We have to accept what is popular even if it's not resonating or accurate to our feelings? Communication is hard.
i also think thats partily an asian thing too growing up.
I was used to being forced to say "I love you" to relatives because that was the social norm. So now the notion of saying I love you and meaning it feels very foreign
Same. When my ex told me he loved me idk what to say… I said it back bc I felt obligated to not bc I actually loved him…
My son is on the spectrum and I have worried so much about him being able to be in a relationship and experience that kind of love, but this has truly opened my eyes
what being on a spectrum means?
@@wdfko3281 it's another way of saying autistic
@@wdfko3281 being on the autistic spectrum, person above me didn't really explain what it meant
@@wdfko3281 on the autism spectrum
Wow, really!! I wasn't trying to mean that any way and this clip had gave me hope for my son that has Autism!! Don't take what I said and change it to fit your way of thinking!! I love my son very much and would not change him for the world!!
17:10 that analogy of the disagree line being alone so everyone on that side if the lane couldn't be lonely because there was no room was so IT. This was amazing. Literally one of the best.
I liked that he pointed that out as well
The way terry reassures his wife that she’s loved & how he said she’s a great mom !! That’s so sweet my sister just turned 19 she’s higher on the spectrum than them but terry gives me faith my sister can find a soulmate !!!
FYI, The spectrum is not linear, there is no more/less autistic... it means a variety of traits and abilities with differences in degree/intensity for each trait.
So each person has a constellation of traits and abilities (and this constellationcan change throughout a person's life) .
The high / low / severe stuff comes from an allistic perspective, which is inherently flawed due to the Double Empathy Problem. Hope you have a great day!
As a girl who deeply relates to Chai, it is so difficult for me to find someone like Rae who has that understanding and empathy not just for autism but for other additional trauma and a personality. However seeing them together gives me some hope in the future.
All three of these couples seem more healthy and loving than lots of neurotypical couples I've known. So very sweet.
Yes because a few minutes of edited video recorded in a public place is an accurate representation of an entire relationship 🤔
@@mydogeatspukeOoh, someone got triggered.
@@vickielawson3114 I'm not sure how exactly you came to that conclusion. I can only assume you're wildly Borderline and desperately need to take your meds.
I love when ayumi didn’t understand everyone came to her aid no judgement
As a late-diagnosed autistic girl/woman living in a country where there's not a lot of awareness about autism (especially if you aren't non-speaking and intellectually disabled), this is so nice to see... things like this always make me doubt my diagnosis less (as I tend to doubt it for example because of how is autism usually portrayed in our country). You're all amazing. Thank you. :)
@Thawne I doubt that you've lived in every country that exists, knowing where do they know and don't know what autism is.
16:20 wooooww my jaw dropped, that was beautifully said ! " it immediately summons the ghosts of everyone in my life that i ever thought displayed that kind of reaction to something that i may or may not have done. "
i felt that so strongly and his self-awareness of how his brain works is on point
The healthiest relationships I've ever seen in my life. I'm so happy for them.
please bring more people on the show with autism, i was recently diagnosed as an adult and its been a blessing seeing other young adults on shows like this together help me feel like ive found a safe space and can connect with others in the community
Congrats on your diagnosis!
Me too! I’m 23 and only just been diagnosed
what connor said about christina at 10:44 was so freaking sweet. that is exactly how i feel about my partner and healing journey ive just never been able to put it into words. i loved listening in on this conversation.
My boyfriend has autism and we've been together for nearly five years now!! I definitely did most of the pursuing (I am a determined ADHD gal and him ignoring me had ZERO effect lol) but it ended up being a case where I fell first but I think he ended up falling harder. There were some cute and awkward hiccups in the beginning of our relationship, but I really appreciated his efforts to try and understand me / impress me. Love is entirely possible for everyone imo, we're polar opposites in personality but I think we really treasure each other and that's something to celebrate. :')
most of the pursuing, are you saying you made the first move on him, or asked him out first?
The “I got you…girl” was so funny
The guy who said he experienced love with more fists than hugs 😭💔 I'm so glad he has a happy loving relationship ❤
Bring Chai back for another video. Dude was hilarious and vulnerable. Great episode
I'm autistic and I luckily got together with my bf, because he found my social awkardness to be endearing and I figured it by the way he laughed at my nonsense, that I blabbered about. I flirted in a very over the top, stereotipical way, until he finally got the memo. It was done at a course of a day, almost 6 months ago.
who gon tell him
@@creamypeanutbutter6269 about what?
@@creamypeanutbutter6269
Case 1: I was diagnosed professionally. At the time, it was called Asperger's & I'm a high-functioning autistic person. I have a bunch of weird habits and some stereotypical symptoms, but I can mask it well, most people don't figure out on their own.
Case2: My boyfriend knows. He doesn't care about it. He finds me lovely & I care a lot about bettering myself on the areas I lack skills on, so it's not like hé can't rely on me, when things get too emotionally complicated.
That's crazy me and my girlfriend 6 months too
@@transbatz Congrats to you guys!
i could be around this group a whole day without any hesitations.all positive and genuine energy. Cheer’s to all these beautiful souls
What a sweet group of people! ☺️💗✨ As an autistic person, it’s very comforting to hear their experiences.
Same. I feel there is still hope for me. Lol.
each of them doing their little closing hug/convo was so cute. like chai and rai hugging, and they told us how thats the main way they show each other affection. it was rlly cute
Was the title needed? Come on now
Agreed. All I do is love 😂
Its a normal question?
@@mallevssIt’s not.
They like provocative titles in case you haven’t noticed
Yeah not the best title out there 😬
i see literally myself reflected in Chai. you do not understand how affirming and happy and stimmy makes me feel. after getting misdiagnosed and told, after fifteen minutes of talk, that i was not autistic just because i didn't talk about a game the whole time, this is just. thank you.
I’m 28 & have Aspergers and I’ve never been in a relationship before. I get guys approach me all the time saying they want a relationship with me then I find out later on that they actually just tried to use me for sex.. (and no I don’t ever sleep with them, that’s how I end up finding out because they give up and go to the next girl). I’m literally soooo jealous of these couples, they’re so lucky to experience love. Hopefully one day I will also experience this 🤞
And you will….!! ❤
Same. I am jealous too
@@christinegweredza9635Hope so, keeping my fingers crossed 🤞
Of course we experience love! Whether it’s easy to get into a relationship is another question😅
thisssss
@@freedomeagle6192 Don’t remind me😢
@Freedom Eagle lol!!
@Freedom Eagle I think it zucks
@@Wonkess_Chonkess This is why I put all my money in $TSLA in Janurary😎
Can you do a spectrum based off of couples with different attachment styles? Like people who have anxious attachments and avoidant and disorganized attachment styles that are in a relationship
🥲 the epitome of toxic relationships. The creme de la creme. The anxious-avoident trap
they are all adorable and sweet 😭
the love terry has for ayumi is so heartwarming 🥹🥹
Well that was a beautiful and painful watch. Having autism is a blessing and a curse at times. Definitely makes it feel extremely difficult to love since I do things differently or not as "normal as others." Even being told I take more effort to love or understand. That end part made me cry. Autism really makes it hard to think anyone could love an odd person like me. But my friends help with that. Love them.
“Love me for my strengths and help me through my weaknesses” couldn’t agree more
Chai's humor is top tier🥰
Ayumi and Terry seem so healthy! So happy for you all in how you have been operating your lives
As an autistic person, it makes me so so happy to see a video with autistic people happy and in love. I love how some couples were allistic/autistic and one was autistic/autistic, and how there was representation of autistic POC, since they are severely underrepresented. This was such a lovely video, thank you
This gives me hope. My undiagnosed (at the time) autism definitely played a big role into why my last relationship ended.. But seeing all of them in such fulfilling, loving, healthy relationships really just- yeah. 💜
I felt so emotional when I saw the prompt "I have felt difficult to love" because I know that it was something I had been feeling throughout my entire previous relationship, we ended up breaking up and my autism played a really big role into why we broke up. just know you aren't alone
Crazy that this is even a question. I know they mean no harm, but just the fact they are asking implies something. Yes people from different backgrounds can fall in love. We all are human
Exactlyyy!
The point of Jubilee’s titles are supposed to be rhetorical questions. Like their video “do all black men think the same” or “do all teen moms think the same” etc.
It’s obvious that people on the Spectrum can fall in love, Jubilee uses eye catching titles to break down stereotypes. Like DUH most people can fall in love (I say most because I know there are aromantic people)
That's how they gain views for sure
Completely agree with what you're saying but in regards to the last line, like someone else said, aromantic people exist. Saying it's obvious that autistic people fall in love because "we all are human" unintentionally implies that people who don't experience romantic attraction aren't human
@@wow2926 I disagree, I am saying that because we are human we all can feel or give love. That's what makes us human regardless of what we are and where we come from. Aromantic people can still love, but they just wont be romantic in nature. They can love the company of friends or even love family. Or even pets :)
Totally relate to the guy who doesn't need sex
Questionable title but I always like seeing Chai in videos. He’s very relatable to me.
how is it questionable
@@scarefullyy4979 because of course people with autism fall in love, to question that is almost insulting?
@@jeslyntweedie8038 I think it is trying to say “how” as in “in what ways” or like trying to describe how autistic people go about their relationships. I don’t think it is supposed to mean “is it possible” or other offensive things.
(Also, “of course they fall in love” is not true, I am autistic and aromantic !!)
This was the cutest group ever please do part 2
The way each couple immediately comforted one another at the end 🥺❤️
Chai is so funny 😂I like his sense of humor.
I can relate to the “quirky” personality traits Terry is talking about. I finally found someone who loves mine.
This was a great video thanks 🙏
It’s Chai’s video, we’re all just living in it! ☺️
i am currently crying of how wholesome this is. these people are really so beautiful inside and out
the ending was just so cuuute when they turned to their significant others🥺🥺🥺🤏🤏
So sweet 🥺🥺🥺
It's soooo soo refreshing and awesome and nice to see people who have different ideas about the usual typical topics and be able to say it out loud and state things the way they want to comfortably, I'm not a typical myself but due to being born and living in a middle eastern country for long, it feels so suffocating and seeing such people live normal lovely lives the way they want to, gives me so much hope & faith for myself🥺😢🙏🏻 Thank you so much for this and for these awesome people who were willing to share👍🏻💕
This was a really lovely episode and very needed as well💕🥰
As someone whose children were diagnosed first, I can relate to so many of the questions and answers in this video. I appreciate the openness and transparency of the participants. It is so difficult to feel loved when your whole life you felt different and people always saying you are weird or do things wrong. I am also dyslexic so I relate fully to that aspect as well.
This is intersting. I'm in my late 40's and have only known I'm on the spectrum for about 5 years. I dated in my early 20's but every relationship failed because my partners said I didn't give them the attention they needed and was "aloof". I didn't know what was wrong with me for the longest time and decided it was easier not to be romantically involved with anyone. I've been single going on 21 years now and I don't see that ever changing , but knowing what I know now has often made me wonder if that would have lead to a past relationship working out. Education is very important in relationships and can help couples navigate their quirks and features (thanks Doug!). Everyone in this show was very thoughtful and caring.
As a Millennial, celibate woman with ASD, love this. I know for a FACT I'm never gonna get married, have sex, date or have kids (have PCOS, and also have a genetic history of depression and verbal and emotional abuse in my fam,no way I'd put an innocent child through all that, already took a toll on me...). Only people I am really comfortable with hugging are my closest friends, although I'm okay with a brief hi/bye hug for extended family members (we're polish on my mom's side lol very huggy :P ). My mom is super touchy though, which I DON'T like, and been in situations where guys have tried to either touch me inappropriately or held my hand forcibly w/out asking for my ok or despite my refusal. This in general makes me wary of many physical touch interactions, barring hand shakes and high-fives.
I am on the autism spectrum, and was told I have Asperger's as a child, and growing up I was more introverted and naive, and as an adult I'm much more extroverted, and crave social interaction. I'm more focused on my personal intellectual pursuits and natural self-improvement. I find a committed relationship to be too much of a personal, mental, and financial drain on things that I really want for myself. I wouldn't mind something more spontaneous, or casual though with the opposite gender as long as everything is consensual, and not have to worry about any long-term consequences because of said encounters.
I 100% related to your experience. For me however, I was opposite as a child: looking back, I was more extroverted and talkative growing up and from midway hs and up to now I'm a lot quiet and shy. I do crave social interactions a lot now as an adult and its hard sometimes. From one person on the spectrum to another, I hope that everything works out for you when finding community and meeting someone! :)
10000000% same!
This was, personally, the best Jubilee video I've seen so far. I've loved every perspective in this video, from the neurotypicals and non-neurotypicals (my apologies if the terminology is not correct). Now at the age of 28 I'm experiencing some difficulties with showing my interest in girls I like. I'm having difficulties with knowing where to go from one point to another because I feel to awkward and insecure. I'm not sure if it has something to do with my autism, but seeing the same struggles you've been through, with asking for permission and stuff, it comforts me knowing that there are people out there who accept that atypical behaviour.
I feel more comfortable, because of this with going out there and just seeing what happens, even though it still seems scary. But yeah, thank you for this video it gave me a lot of comfort.
more content with autistic people sharing their experiences please!!!!!!
as an autistic person in a committed relationship this video made me emotional (even though i’m usually an emotionless pit LOL) but kudos to everyone in the video for being vulnerable and sharing their stories. that isn’t easy🫶🏼
“Love me through my strengths and help me through my weaknesses”
That resonated so much!
As a neuro divergent myself I appreciate this sm. I would LOVE if the next neuro divergent topic you'll bring to the forefront can be OCD!!! A lot of people don't know that this and a lot of other disorders are neuro divergent but I struggle ALOT with OCD and would appreciate it ssm!!!
Awesome video. I wish it was longer or maybe part 2 with more in depth questions.
This was so comforting to watch because my brother has autism and I often worry if he’s gonna meet anyone 😊
Wow, okay after watching this whole video - I am so in love with all of them!!! I LOVE seeing and listening to how their brains work! My little brother has autism, but he is non-verbal, and it's so interesting to see how these individuals with autism are so different from my brother, and you just really can't lump everyone with ASD together because everyone is SO different!
Can you do one with adults with ADHD?
The ending was great, the way they all turned to their partners for comfort. Loved to see it. None of y'all are hard to love. Really.
This was by far my favorite conversation y’all had
To hear that someone did not get diagnosed until they had children that got diagnosed. Just wow. Sometime I wonder about myself. I have always told guy so like from the jump I’m weird when it comes to affection and sensations. I do enjoy physical intimacy but I understand I get overwhelmed by the over all feeling of it. I can relate to Ayumi so much.
Truly! I used to work in a private practice where several children and adults were tested for autism and other neurodevelopmental disorders and it’s amazing how common it is to see parents come get evaluated after their kids did. For the same reasons of realizing that what they’ve seen in their child is also what the parent experiences but didn’t have the language or knowledge of pinpointing what it is. I’m so happy that people are learning about ASD and understanding just how much of a spectrum it is. The world is much better with neurodivergent people in it
This was so wholesome!! 💜🙏🏾 Makes me less scared for my sister on the spectrum! She's going through her teens now and I would lie if I said I wasn't worried about her... I guess I just think about her making friends, having her first love, starting to go out with friends... I don't know how it is going to go for her, just don't want anyone to take advantage of her beautiful, innocent soul
Thank you for this video. I have a non-verbal toddler who is on the spectrum. Hearing adults talk about their experiences helps me better understand my child who can not speak for herself yet.
Loved watching this, very insightful. A reminder that wether you’re on the spectrum or not we’re all still human and deal with the same things but aren’t alone in it, and that there will always be someone who will stand beside you even when they see those “messy unlovable” parts✨
18:08 until the end was super sweet!! Love seeing each couple together in love and showcasing love in public, it's sweet and gives so much hope and it's very nice and sweet to see🥰🥰
Would love to see more people with disabilities on the show. I have a small percentage of mosaic Down syndrome and have always “passed for normal” according to my family. Yet there are things I struggled with that I thought everyone did that I recently found out that weren’t normal things to struggle with. I have been finding these episodes so easy to relate to and I feel more seen and understood. Thankful for Chai because I stopped watching for a bit, but since he’s my friend I wanted to support him and got back into watching the channel again. Also so happy to see Rae on here too! 😊 She’s so kind! 🙂
This makes my heart happy. I didn’t know I was neurodivergent until my 20’s, and as soon as I knew, it just ✨made sense✨ lol. I also feel hard to love, but I know that my differences make me a better parent to my neurodiverse kids, and make me a better person in a lot of ways ❤️
“Consent is important yall” LOVE HIM 🤣😊
2:00 I agree. I’m finding out that saying what I’m feeling (sometimes) takes away the essence of what I’m conveying.
i love how each couple gave each other comfort at the end ❤ this was a great conversation and i would like for more videos on this!!
EVERYBODY can fall in love!!!
Edit: Since there are some aromatic people out there upset with my comment then I'm sorry that you can't possibly fall in love. 😒
This is definitely not true lol
@@melaninmonroeeee what I mean overall is that everybody can love if they choose to. of course there's people out there who choose not to, and that's fine too.
@@lajoieurmom6011 still not true lmaoo
@@melaninmonroeeee why do you mean then? 😭
@@Peaceandlighting okay I won't, they were confusing me a lot.
i love everyones chemistry in this video so much. it makes me incredibly happy.
I just want to thank all the participants for being so open here. I know it can be awkward to talk about these things in front of a group and a camera, but it is helpful to some of us who are also going through some of these struggles.
Thank you for this. I'm not Autistic but I found this to be very enlightening. I happy everyone was so honest and vulnerable. This was beautiful to watch.
Would love more content from Ayumi & Terry 🫶🏽 they touched my heart
Notice how they all talk perfectly metered and everyone has flow in the conversation? So dialed in! 🥳
The side glance situation is so cute 🥰
So many sweet and loving humans in this group! This was a wholesome cleanse to my day. I wish them much success in their relationships and individually
"Sex is kinda overrated y'all. I'm just saying. Sex is like cooperative fitness."
I'm Ace and felt that!
🙌🏾
Yeah, he definitely sounds ace. I relate.