People telling me to "just write notes" appears to assume it's not something I already DO and assumes it's not something I already KNOW... as if in 5 decades of life it never occurred to me to write notes. haha. And it's amazing how we can sometimes forget we took notes!
My adult children and myself have all recently been diagnosed with either ADHD, ASD or both. Your stories are very similar to mine. I only realised that I had ADHD during my daughter’s assessment and I found myself saying throughout “Oh I thought that was normal because I do that!”
It is plainly a curse. Especially when you never got a diagnosis, and didn't learn about it until your 40's, and you see all the dreams and potentials were lost and wasted. Getting treatment for ADHD, let alone a diagnosis, is a great privilege. I can't help but feel I'm worthless and shouldn't even exist because of that.
What has helped me with my rejection sensitivity rsd is to understand that people are thinking about themselves. I took it personally if people made faces. Or make condescending jokes or condescending tone of voice. Or laughed at me. I had understand people like to act superior in different ways. If they critical or laughing at people it makes them feel better about themselves. They love like being in the superior position. If someone say no then someone else will say yes.
Yes. I have to do lots of multitasking and organising as part of my job… even accounting stuff. After doing bookkeeping and tax work for 8 of my boss’s companies (with no formal training)… My own financial stuff and taxes get put on the back burner. Im too exhausted to even look at them. It’s not a healthy existence neglecting your own needs and priorities like that. I think most people with ADHD who do well have partners with REALLY strong executive functioning skills to compensate + lighten the load.
AuDHD single parent here... Needed this today after various meltdowns over shoes this morning from the kids. They're not diagnosed but its certainly looking that way....
I have just received a clinical diagnosis of ASD, ADHD and dyslexia aged 53. This was prompted by investigations for my four children how fave the same challenges..
For me, 42 and finally close to finishing a degree in a field I like, the job interviews are killing me. I have the experience , the skills, and the work ethic. I just have a shit time of proving it in a concise cover letter and interviews when I'm given no time to process the questions. Group assessments with manipulative personal questions designed to answer a different question seem unfair and don't consider my very literal autistic traits. I feel like a trail blaser who nobody sees and is ignorant of the possibility that they could miss an opportunity.
Maybe you’re applying for the wrong type of workplaces? I know a lot of people who would push you straight to the top of list to chat to first, based on your age and life experience, to avoid wasting time interviewing. Maybe target smaller companies that interest you.,. You approach them/see if you can have a chat?
Yes, so much effort to do some typical thing ...... I keep hearing ADD can't get anything else done the day of an appointment. I can not relate. I will rush around before leaving, taking advantage of the energy boost.
But you can reach your full potential! How do you define potential? I held on to a victim mentality for years after I first began to realize I was Autistic. I was officially diagnosed at 36, 5 years after I realized I was clearly Autistic. I was surprised when the psychologist in the first session suggested we'd explore ADHD. My husband is very hyperactive ADHD, and he was diagnosed at 5 and put in play therapy for two years. It's amazing to me how, because he got diagnosed and had parents that believed in him, he never hated his brain and always leaned into the pros of having a brain wired like his. After my extensive process to get a diagnosis, I was diagnosed as ASD Level 1, ADHD Inattentive Presenting Moderate, and severe GAD (from a life time of not being diagnosed!). I still held onto the victim mentality. Then, about two years ago something happened, and my perspective suddenly shifted. I am not a super hero, my brain is not a super power. I still struggle with things neuronormative people don't, and there is still an AuDHD tax for the accommodations we need to function in this world as a neurodivergent family. But laying down the hatred for my brain, and instead focusing on the amazing things I can do has been freeing. Every day, I ask myself, "how am I going to add light into this world?", and I pray for the strength to be able to do just that. I'm fortunate that every time someone was cruel to me at my Church, I was able to see that individual as an outlier, so I was able to hold onto my faith. So many have been traumatized by religion, and before my diagnosis, a therapist I saw kept telling me my religion was the reason I was depressed because it was too demanding of me. That never sat right with me because my religion was the only thing that kept me in this world! That, and punk rock music (my two hyperfocus points). I hope you can find peace with your brain as well, and see what qualities you possess that could allow you to bring light into this world. I have often thought if more neurodivergent people could band together, we could solve so many of the problems this world has! But too many in the community still are too frustrated with themselves or believe the lies that they are either super-heroes or drains on their loved ones. The truth is much too multi-faceted than one extreme or the other. I hope that all made sense. It's been a long day. But I highly recommend every person read the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Even if you don't have children, I feel it could be beneficial!! My husband was raised in a family that embraced his spirited, positive side and got him help to overcome the difficult parts of his temperament and disposition. I am grateful my in-laws showed me the same unconditional love when I married him, and showed me a better way to raise our children.
Good program, great discussion. Is it just me (adhd me)? But, it frustrates me that the video timer only shows how much time is left (on the left) and the fixed, non- changing length of the video (on the right: 51:09). Hence, I can't fast forward or skip to a subject of which I'm particularly interested. Perhaps, if I click on the topic it'll leap to it. However, if that's so, why include the time each topic begins? (Yes, I know, one can subtract the shown time left from the total length of the video to know how far along we are, then determine how many minutes until a particular topic will come up, but really?😉🙄😊) GOOD GRIEF! I just serendipitously discovered that IF YOU TAP THE LEFT SIDE OF THE TIMER, it switches from showing time left, time past! How about that?! I did not know that 😂! 🤔 I'll leave this in versus delete since solved in case someone felt the same. 😅😏
Writing has been proven to enhance memory. Don't worry if u don't look again at your lists! If u find them again , it can work as a cuurent reminder, or to rejoice over what u remembered to accomplish on your own.
I'm a mother with ADHD and Autism in a house full of boys, a neurotypical partner, a 24 year old NT son (genetically like his father) and a 17 year old son on the spectrum too (genetically like my side of the family). I have an incredibly difficult time keeping any authority, dignity, respect or just taken seriously at all, regardless of high average/ superior assessment reports and uni HD's. My triggers are well known (not to me), and used. People don't seem to CARE to educate themselves on the subject, even if the challenges affect their lives daily. It's heartbreaking on my RSD and a serious catch 22 between my teenager and I.
People telling me to "just write notes" appears to assume it's not something I already DO and assumes it's not something I already KNOW... as if in 5 decades of life it never occurred to me to write notes. haha. And it's amazing how we can sometimes forget we took notes!
My adult children and myself have all recently been diagnosed with either ADHD, ASD or both. Your stories are very similar to mine. I only realised that I had ADHD during my daughter’s assessment and I found myself saying throughout “Oh I thought that was normal because I do that!”
Thank you for sharing this! It's such a common theme , we see ourselves in our children and think it's normal, then the light bulb moment!
It is plainly a curse. Especially when you never got a diagnosis, and didn't learn about it until your 40's, and you see all the dreams and potentials were lost and wasted. Getting treatment for ADHD, let alone a diagnosis, is a great privilege. I can't help but feel I'm worthless and shouldn't even exist because of that.
What has helped me with my rejection sensitivity rsd is to understand that people are thinking about themselves. I took it personally if people made faces. Or make condescending jokes or condescending tone of voice. Or laughed at me. I had understand people like to act superior in different ways. If they critical or laughing at people it makes them feel better about themselves. They love like being in the superior position. If someone say no then someone else will say yes.
Its the energy it takes to be organised that is exhausting. Which is why i can only work part-time
Yes. I have to do lots of multitasking and organising as part of my job… even accounting stuff. After doing bookkeeping and tax work for 8 of my boss’s companies (with no formal training)… My own financial stuff and taxes get put on the back burner. Im too exhausted to even look at them. It’s not a healthy existence neglecting your own needs and priorities like that. I think most people with ADHD who do well have partners with REALLY strong executive functioning skills to compensate + lighten the load.
I'm a single parent with 2 teens dx with ADHD. I don't do personal admin
AuDHD single parent here... Needed this today after various meltdowns over shoes this morning from the kids. They're not diagnosed but its certainly looking that way....
I have just received a clinical diagnosis of ASD, ADHD and dyslexia aged 53. This was prompted by investigations for my four children how fave the same challenges..
For me, 42 and finally close to finishing a degree in a field I like, the job interviews are killing me. I have the experience , the skills, and the work ethic. I just have a shit time of proving it in a concise cover letter and interviews when I'm given no time to process the questions. Group assessments with manipulative personal questions designed to answer a different question seem unfair and don't consider my very literal autistic traits. I feel like a trail blaser who nobody sees and is ignorant of the possibility that they could miss an opportunity.
Maybe you’re applying for the wrong type of workplaces? I know a lot of people who would push you straight to the top of list to chat to first, based on your age and life experience, to avoid wasting time interviewing. Maybe target smaller companies that interest you.,. You approach them/see if you can have a chat?
Yes, so much effort to do some typical thing ......
I keep hearing ADD can't get anything else done the day of an appointment. I can not relate. I will rush around before leaving, taking advantage of the energy boost.
… and then are you late for the appointment (because you did “one more thing” too many)?? 😂
Great discussion!
It’s definitely not a superpower I have dual diagnosis of both ASD and combined ADHD and it’s so debilitating as you can’t reach your true potential
Thanks for sharing this ❤
But you can reach your full potential! How do you define potential?
I held on to a victim mentality for years after I first began to realize I was Autistic. I was officially diagnosed at 36, 5 years after I realized I was clearly Autistic. I was surprised when the psychologist in the first session suggested we'd explore ADHD. My husband is very hyperactive ADHD, and he was diagnosed at 5 and put in play therapy for two years. It's amazing to me how, because he got diagnosed and had parents that believed in him, he never hated his brain and always leaned into the pros of having a brain wired like his.
After my extensive process to get a diagnosis, I was diagnosed as ASD Level 1, ADHD Inattentive Presenting Moderate, and severe GAD (from a life time of not being diagnosed!). I still held onto the victim mentality.
Then, about two years ago something happened, and my perspective suddenly shifted. I am not a super hero, my brain is not a super power. I still struggle with things neuronormative people don't, and there is still an AuDHD tax for the accommodations we need to function in this world as a neurodivergent family.
But laying down the hatred for my brain, and instead focusing on the amazing things I can do has been freeing. Every day, I ask myself, "how am I going to add light into this world?", and I pray for the strength to be able to do just that. I'm fortunate that every time someone was cruel to me at my Church, I was able to see that individual as an outlier, so I was able to hold onto my faith. So many have been traumatized by religion, and before my diagnosis, a therapist I saw kept telling me my religion was the reason I was depressed because it was too demanding of me. That never sat right with me because my religion was the only thing that kept me in this world! That, and punk rock music (my two hyperfocus points).
I hope you can find peace with your brain as well, and see what qualities you possess that could allow you to bring light into this world. I have often thought if more neurodivergent people could band together, we could solve so many of the problems this world has! But too many in the community still are too frustrated with themselves or believe the lies that they are either super-heroes or drains on their loved ones. The truth is much too multi-faceted than one extreme or the other. I hope that all made sense. It's been a long day. But I highly recommend every person read the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Even if you don't have children, I feel it could be beneficial!! My husband was raised in a family that embraced his spirited, positive side and got him help to overcome the difficult parts of his temperament and disposition. I am grateful my in-laws showed me the same unconditional love when I married him, and showed me a better way to raise our children.
It has been proven that writing helps memory. Don't worry if u don't always look at your list again.
Oops. That replies to her n
Never rereading her lists around 37:00. See my ADD!
Good program, great discussion. Is it just me (adhd me)? But, it frustrates me that the video timer only shows how much time is left (on the left) and the fixed, non- changing length of the video (on the right: 51:09). Hence, I can't fast forward or skip to a subject of which I'm particularly interested. Perhaps, if I click on the topic it'll leap to it. However, if that's so, why include the time each topic begins? (Yes, I know, one can subtract the shown time left from the total length of the video to know how far along we are, then determine how many minutes until a particular topic will come up, but really?😉🙄😊) GOOD GRIEF! I just serendipitously discovered that IF YOU TAP THE LEFT SIDE OF THE TIMER, it switches from showing time left, time past! How about that?! I did not know that 😂! 🤔 I'll leave this in versus delete since solved in case someone felt the same. 😅😏
I never knew about this either! 🤣
This is great. Keep up the good work.
It is like you would describe my children exactly....
I'm ADHD and I always thought it was a pain in the ass
Writing has been proven to enhance memory. Don't worry if u don't look again at your lists!
If u find them again , it can work as a cuurent reminder, or to rejoice over what u remembered to accomplish on your own.
If you came here from the short, start at: @19:00
I'm a mother with ADHD and Autism in a house full of boys, a neurotypical partner, a 24 year old NT son (genetically like his father) and a 17 year old son on the spectrum too (genetically like my side of the family). I have an incredibly difficult time keeping any authority, dignity, respect or just taken seriously at all, regardless of high average/ superior assessment reports and uni HD's. My triggers are well known (not to me), and used. People don't seem to CARE to educate themselves on the subject, even if the challenges affect their lives daily. It's heartbreaking on my RSD and a serious catch 22 between my teenager and I.
This question might be random, but can anyone tell me why that says zumba.. that would me a lot to me.
It's a prop placed there by previous guest as an example of something important to them
Who's Kelly is that her daughter?
ADHD proudly sponsors LIDL 😂.
Absolutely! Hate this superpower BS!