Be "Responsible" With Your Compliments?
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- čas přidán 29. 08. 2024
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Be reckless with compliments - I love that!
Yeah I'm not gonna take that advice 😂
Women DON'T appreciate that.
@@Nerobyrnecompliments are appreciated as long as someone who complimented, does not expect something in return
@@HelenKreten trust me, mine aren't.
@@HelenKreten no, it also heavily depends on context and what the compliment is
@@Nerobyrne the appropriateness of the compliment is definitely extremely important, but other than that, have at it
See to me, "be responsible with compliments" on its face seems like a way to reach creepy guys who think catcalling and inappropriate body comments are compliments. Meeting those guys at their level, not invalidating the worldview they've convinced themselves of, but trying to get the behavior to change.
I agree. I think this guy is on the line of understanding and not. And trying to move guys closer to his stance, which is good.
But also, he's kinda not there fully yet either.
@@aellalee4767 he almost sees women as people!
The thing is, if I WAS reckless with compliments, I'd make the kinds of compliments that really creep women out.
Prof is just too nice.
His advice would be terrible if I followed it ^^
Can't teach an old dog new tricks
@@Nerobyrne learning time and place helps. But also compliment choices rather than physical traits, such as choice of earrings, hair color, or a cool article of clothing
I wonder why they don't work on their self esteem instead of making these elaborate plans to not LOOK insecure.
That is a good point. But how do you work on your self esteem?
@@valaya.3 There's lots of ways to improve self-esteem. Go for a walk in the park - interacting with nature and greenspace is proven to have a positive impact on mental and physical well-being. Volunteer at an animal shelter or community centre or Meals on Wheels - making other people happier will also make you feel better about yourself. Work on a hobby - doing something creative, even if you're not good at it, is another way to improve mental health.
Basically, any of the things people did before social media came along, is better for you than social media.
@@KissMyFrog42 thank you for the ideas 💚 if anyone else sees this and has more ideas, not just for improving mental health but specifically overcoming insecurity, I'd love to hear that too 💛
They don’t work on themselves because they are so insecure they cannot admit there’s anything wrong with themselves - because then they couldn’t blame women and would have to look at their own self.
And advice for feeling insecure - I stopped feeling so insecure when I realised that EVERYONE is. Everyone is too busy worrying about how others perceive them that they don’t generally perceive you… they want you to like them as much as you want them to like you. And anyone who judges you has an issue with themselves, not you. That’s not your fault and is nothing to be insecure about.
Insecurity comes from the unknown - once you discover who you really are, and learn to like yourself for being an amazing human being in a vast world of differences, you won’t feel so insecure. I took me almost 40 years, and I’m finally able to say I like myself. Stay strong my friends 💪🏻
@@LexKaiNix that is beautiful advice. Thank you 💜
Here's a helpful definition for those having trouble telling the difference: a compliment is a positive comment given about a non-intrinsic feature, such as one's hairstyle, makeup or clothing. Unsolicited commentary about someone's body - positive or otherwise - is neither necessary nor desired.
Furthermore, a compliment has no strings attached. None. You, as the giver of a compliment, are not owed anything at all, not even a thank you. The idea of a compliment is that it is an actual opinion you have that you felt like sharing with someone. The hope is that it makes them feel good, but you can't read anyone's mind, so not every compliment will be received with grace and gratitude. No matter the response, shrug it off and move on.
I feel like the biggest problem with people who have the attitude that 'women don't like compliments' is that those people are in transgression of one (or both) of these guidelines, and would do well to internalise them.
I think this is a worthwhile distinction. When I lost weight and was struggling and not feeling well, well meaning comliments like "You look great, have you lost weight?" were really not welcome... but I know a few people who were disappointed when I didn't mention them loosing weight...
I've had men "compliment" me as a way of keeping my attention. For example, this once happened when I was getting into my car (actually had the door open and leaning into it), some man complimented me on my hair color (it was blue, so, OK). I said "thanks" and then moved to finish getting into my car because *shocker* I had somewhere else to be. But he wanted to keep talking to me about his opinion and blue hair and a bunch of other stuff I can't even remember until I'm wondering how to get a word in edgewise to say "thanks again, but I need to leave."
So, yeah. There were massive strings attached, but dude is probably thinking, "but it was a compliment!" No. That was a manipulation using words that sound like a compliment.
100% agree on the lack of strings, a key issue with a lot of male-to-female compliments (and with the way that men interpret female-to-male compliments). I try to save compliments for when I'm leaving an interaction, thus showing there's nothing expected from them, they're just to brighten a day.
I have mixed feelings about the "never compliment an inherent attribute" thing. Like, I have a mildly unusual eye color (hazel) and really like my eyes and think they're a pretty color. If I had green or purple eyes I'm sure they'd get more noticed and commented on, and I think it would feel good to have people notice an unusual feature about me, and call positive attention to it... at least, until it reached the "yes, yes, everybody says that and it's irritating now" threshold, I guess. Hmm.
Women in general don't care to get random comments (even seemingly positive ones) about tertiary sexual characteristics (boobs, butt, lips), because that's *never* an innocuous compliment. *That's* a guideline men could take to heart.
I think the shortest way to say that is: never compliment a woman below the neck. Unless you are genuinely complimenting their outfit or something about it - again, WITHOUT remarking on their body. And when in doubt, keep your mouth shut. If you have to ask yourself, "should I?", no, you shouldn't.
"That dress really shows off your sexy legs" is NOT an acceptable compliment, bc it's purpose is to hit on a woman. "That dress looks cute on you" is acceptable, providing that you're not leering when it's said. And you're happy to go on your way without any further engagement.
@@bossyboots5000I think something like "nice biceps", or "your calves are insane" would also be acceptable.
I work retail, if I see a customer that has put a lot of effort into some part of their work, I _will_ compliment it. Usually it's nails, sometimes it's a unique or new hair color, I once saw a woman who had clearly spent a lot of time curling her ponytail to lay _perfectly_ and I told her her ponytail was flawless. It just brightens people's day when you notice and say something and let that be all there was to the conversation.
Yes! Complimenting something I CHOSE or DID is much more pleasant than admiring something I was born with. 😊
i tell everyone compliments. friends, family, strangers. its just nice
That’s what I’m saying.
Saying "hey cool Tshirt" or "I like your hat" while passing by has always resulted in smiles in my experience
@@undefinederror40404 it's crap like this why I wear headphones everywhere
I used to but apparently if u like smth and ppl don't like u they will pretend u meant smth else either u r jealous or a pervert
You are a lovely person queerveeart❤
I was in a parking lot the other day and saw another woman about my own age (upper middle) putting her groceries away and I took a second to compliment her dress. I don't know why, it just looked so pretty and summery and comfy. Anyway her face lit up and she confided that she didn't normally dress like that but pushed herself to that day. I encouraged her to do it more and we both left there feeling good.
So yes, be reckless with compliments. In fact I'd say be downright foolhardy.
On the other hand, if I (47m) had said the same thing, it would likely have been perceived as creepy.
That doesn’t really relate to the general advice of the video, which is great, or the level of goofiness of the dude he’s commenting on. I just occasionally get sad that I have to pretend to be dumb and not notice people’s dresses or hair or whatnot because it’s just safer not to say anything.
@@NewnodrogbobI wanna ask, would your compliment also include the figure as well? I’ve found that complimenting an outfit because it was a great fashion choice is safe, but complimenting an outfit cuz it shows off body features is a no-go to strangers.
I don't think I've ever gotten a compliment that hasn't revolved around my body.
"I love your t-shirt... I have the same one at home!"
"Thank you! Isn't it great?"
"Yeah, but I definitely don't fill it out as well as you do! *creepy wink*".
Soooooo many men walking around like it's their first day with a penis.
@@outdoorscholar6016 no, I would not compliment someone’s body parts. To be clear; I’ve never had an incident or anything. I’m just very self conscious about not making people uncomfortable. Could I get away with complimenting outfits and hair? Probably most of the time. It only takes one person to say “I didd feel comfortable…” to really wreck up my life, so I just refrain.
Unfortunately if u live in a city that is distrustful people are gonna think ur coming with ulterior motives. I’m a guy and when people talk to me in public I ignore and don’t speak back since from experience they are usually tryna rob me or scam me or they are mentally ill. I imagine women would be even more distrustful
I like the auto captions: "if you wanna get a chicken bed right away man, honestly there's something wrong with you man"
This was my favorite part of the whole video😂
I mean racecar beds are cool and all but a _chicken_ bed? Now we're talking.
No one could make edutainment without unsolicited advice. Unsolicited advice is the best. Its unsolicited personal criticism disguised as advice that indicates insecurity.
You could absolutely make edutainment without unsolicited advice. Just put a disclaimer at the beginning saying "This is edutainment, it contains advice, by continuing to watch past this point, you are aware of and consent to being given advice". Boom, no unsolicited advice anymore.
I feel like in choosing to consume that type of content, you solicit it. But yes, you make a good point that much of the most off putting “advice” is just veiled criticism. See “you’d be prettier if you smiled.”
When I think of unsolicited advice, I think about two people having a face-to-face conversation. And in that context it's best to be careful about unsolicited advice.
My friend couldn't handle my compliments and unconditional love, because she had not experienced it before. It has taken 4 years of trust building, and I had to be restrained with compliments, until just recently. I had to hold my hand out for her to approach like a startled deer. We had 15 months apart, but then she was ready for a friend. She still has a lot of automatic self defense behaviours at times, but now mostly feels safe to receive, and give expressions of love and compliments. Her personal growth is amazing. 😍
I've both been that friend and had that friend. Thank you for being patient with yours 💕
💚💚💚💚
Why is it that im autistic and can pick up on more of this than these other men? I do not understand it. I give compliments and check in on my friends because it makes people happy, and that makes me happy. I dont need an ulterior motive. Why do these other men struggle to be kind or gentle? It's really sad 😞
It's because you have empathy and they don't. Some of them see us as little more than an accessory that they have to manipulate to acquire.
You never know what a person is going thru today. An unsolicited compliment may lift them up and make their day. And it's so easy to do!
Let me make your day: sweetie pie 🐇🥰
I love compliments. I think what we need is women complimenting women more.
Hello ladies, we are all beautiful and sometimes we have great makeup or hair, a gorgeous outfit on, or are just looking magnificent so we should be courageous to tell each other we notice and know the efforts made to be so beautiful! Going all natural is something to celebrate too!! ❤
I agree. I usually will give another woman a compliment if I like their look or an item of clothing or their abilities in their hobbies or careers. It makes the world a tiny bit better, imho.
@@user-dc4cm8nz1f Making the world a better place one good word at a time. 🥰
Everyone in this thread looks great, smells great, and is wearing cute shoes. Even the future repliers.
Yes, and I also think men should compliment men.
@@alex_blue5802 Amen.
"Unsolicited advice just makes you look insecure"
Me: oh ok he may be going to make a good point, women deal with unsolicited and unwanted advice all the time
Proceeds to continue with: "telling her that she looks good or that her clothes look good or hyping her up just shows you don't feel on her level"
Me: ... and this is what I get for expecting something nice
This video was so all over the place! Some of it was genuinely good. "Don't be creepy, don't stare. Don't give advice if you weren't asked for advice. Don't try to go to bed with your partner right away." And then some of it is wild!
The only compliments that are ever unwanted are the insincere ones designed to get you in bed. Most women can see right through that nonsense. As long as a compliment is coming from the heart and not the gonads, every woman alive will love it.❤️🐝🤗
I try to go out of my way to compliment people, because I feel like we don’t compliment each other enough! I sometimes just randomly tell people „hey just wanted to say, I LOVE your shirt. Have a nice day!“ or something similar because it always makes the receiver smile enormously and I’m happy that I’ve made their day a little better ☀️🤗
The thing about complimenting strangers is, don’t comment on their body because that can get creepy real fast; you can’t tell straight away what they’re comfortable with. Compliment something that’s expressive about them like their outfits or hairstyle or whatever, ie something they actually chose for themselves. But then again, different people, different approaches. Just don’t treat getting to know us like a game to be won like those pickup artists do…
1. Be kind, hold a door for someone behind you, say please and thank you , tell them to have a good day, or gi:e them a compliment. More commonly known as having manners. Kindness is free; give it a try.
2. Zooming in on the context of the point of the video, I'll share a short story. A couple of years ago I was out on errands and pretty frazzled and looking raggedy. Stopped for gas, on my way out a gentlemen said "You look like Wonder Woman to me." I was wearing a Wonder Woman t-shirt. I stopped and looked at him, smiled and thanked him, he smiled back and said "You're Welcome ".
It was just the right combination of complmentary and a fun way of flirting.
It wasn't unsolicited advice but it was most certainly a non creepy ice breaker. My unsolicited advice is for any gentlemen who sees this is think about it and take notes.
I can think of some compliments I might choose to hold back, such as explicit appreciation for a nice body-part. Holding that back involves being respectful instead of crass. I might hold back "You're so beautiful" when I'm concerned it might be heard as devaluing her accomplishments.
I agree. Being responsible with compliments is actually a good advice imo. I have a habit of never telling aloud the first thing that comes into my mind. Sometimes it’s a nice compliment but also sometimes it’s no compliment at all. Better think twice and make sure it’s appropriate for the situation and person.
@@pansepot1490 However I don't think that dude thought of it that way.
I remember complimenting a middle schooler on her voice when we first met (it was froggy and I thought it was cool). I now think back and suspect she was mortified for attention having been drawn to it.
Well yeah, so then compliment *what* you find beautiful, that she put or can put effort into. Her outfit? Her makeup? Her hair? Saying someone is beautiful is fine it’s just when it’s just about physical beauty due to genetics, it’s not like they chose that. Unless you’re like a SO it’s less acceptable to go solely on physical genetic looks. But on the looks she can *choose* it shows you like her sense of style and taste, and that you appreciate her mind and don’t just see her as a body.
I hope that makes sense, I’m not a man or woman, just agender. And I’m not great with words so I hope I explained my point well
@@DeathnoteBB Well, I understood. These are the reasons that I always compliment shoes. Or head-wear.
As far as body parts, I only compliment when it's CLEAR that the person works out. And those compliments are limited to legs, abs, and arms.
This had me in stitches...especially the 'stare' bit 😂😂
If I think of a compliment, the way I think of it is, it does me no good staying in my head. It would do the world a lot more good if I say it out loud. Compliment recklessly ❤
Once again, you are giving me such great advice. “Be reckless with compliments” is something I needed to hear. I think I will be reckless with them next time I fancy someone. Thank you lots!
Re: Reckless compliments. Yes, but you don't want to cross into creepy territory. I transitioned (FtM) 3 years ago and I still say things to women that men, even gay ones, shouldn't say to women. Example. It's totally acceptable for a woman in a casual dress up situation to say to a friend, "Wow, your boobs look amazing in that dress!" That compliment comes off _very_ differently from a guy. It's a learning curve.
Why wouldn't you say, you look amazing in that dress? Why the specificity?
@@user-dc4cm8nz1f That's kind of my point. A woman, with a close friend, can get super specific. A guy shouldn't because it's creepy sounding. Hell, even just, "That dress looks amazing on you," can sound creepy. What's acceptable for men is very different than women and it's a moving line that I'm still figuring out.
Another example. Before transition I was that person making funny faces at random toddlers in restaurants etc. To get a giggle, keep them entertained, for the fun of it. Parents would see and smile at me, glad to see their kid admired or distracted during a wait or whatever. Now, it is not so appreciated. A middle aged guy interacting with an unknown kid has potentially very negative connotations. Kinda sucks but it's something I have to be aware of. A kid's giggle isn't worth making parents feel uncomfortable.
There are things socially that men can't do without seeming threatening, creepy or suspect. As someone who lived 45 years as a woman, I totally understand the discomfort. But it is taking me some time to adjust to that reality from the other side.
@@CorwinFound I don't understand. Did you think how you are perceived by others would not change with your transition? I was under the impression that the whole point was to have the world perceive one as one feels inside. Feel free to correct me if I have it wrong.
@@CorwinFound Warning: This comment contains advice you might not have asked for, but I still wish to give with the best of intentions. Please don't take offense on it.
As a man, I just say "Hey nice dress!" as I look at the ladies face instead of at the dress, making eye contact with a smile. I have only received positive feedback from these compliments so far. Sometimes you can also just gesture at the specific part of the dress you like, for example "The purple flowers on yellow really stands out" and make it more specific that way.
Any mention of their body in any way, is just a no go. Not "looks good on you", because that means you are not complimenting the dress but you are complimenting her body still.
Also your tone really matters a lot. Do not try anything that is even remotely flirty. Act like you are giving a compliment to a much older lady with whom you have no interest in at all, or on the opposite side you could do it like you give a compliment to a child's really nice drawing.
@@yougotOWENd Absolutely no offense taken. And my brain knows and understands all that you've said. It's the thoughtless compliment that catches me up when speaking to people I'm friends with. So I have the opportunity at least to think on it after and clarify that I wasn't being a lecher. Lol They know I'm trans and still struggling a bit with masculine etiquette.
With acquaintances or strangers even presenting as a woman I wouldn't make those sorts of compliments or "nice on you" [on your body] comments. I'm not totally clueless socially!
On the flip side, I also compliment men and boy are they thrilled! A friend recently came back from living away and I complimented him on having gotten in shape and put on some muscle. He got a bit emotional and said that he'd been working really hard at it but I was the first person to notice. Men deserve and enjoy non-lecherous appreciation as well.
I will say this, there is such a thing is too much complimenting for some people. I'm one of them. I become uncomfortable when too many compliments are lavished on me constantly. I don't know how to respond after a while and I also feel like it makes me take compliments for granted. When I first met my partner, he complimented me too much. One day, I flat out told him, kindly, how I felt about it. And he understood, without any hurt egos, and we have learned and grown from that. That was 9 years ago. He still compliments me a lot, but he has learned the right balance of when, about what, and how much hahaha.
I appreciate alllll the discussions going on! The other guy would be considered too radical for a lot of the more toxic circles and you are highlighting how much further we get to grow towards authenticity.
Love seeing people have these discussions, especially men helping other men see it’s ok to grow and how to set healthier expectations for oneself and others 🙏🏻
I love how you are able to use this kind on uno reverse card on this kind of people. That makes me laugh soooo loud. Thanks a lot for doing this world a little better ❤
SpeechProf is right! Be reckless with compliments! withholding and not wanting your woman to feel good about herself is the real sign of insecurity
Thank you for inspiring us all to be reckless with throwing around all good things!
Does this man fly... or bark?
Because he might be the *advice version of Schrodinger's cat.*
To me, a man who repeatedly comments on appearance is showing me what matters to him. A conversation that allows us both to get to know each other is a much greater compliment, because it shows trust that you want to reveal something of yourself to me, and that you want to see me beyond the surface.
It always baffles me how some men just be yapping and have no idea what they’re actually saying. “Giving too many compliments” = insecure isn’t necessarily wrong-people who are insecure often overcompensate in relationships to prove they’re worth being with. But twisting that into being limited on what and when to compliment starts to fall into a trap of “try to convince women to be grateful for your compliments.”
I’m with Prof here. If you just be kind and compliment someone when you feel appreciation towards something about them, most people will feel seen in return.
I agree!
I also hate being seen.
@@Nerobyrne:
I totally get it.
I see you Nero.
Prof seems like a social person who is good at reading people's body language. He can compliment recklessly and have it well received 😂
If people who aren't as outgoing or social takes that approach, it won't come off as genuine. Everyone should just do what feels authentic to themselves.
I cannot really imagine a greater indicator of insecurity than theory-crafting how not to be perceived as insecure.
@@confusedwhale nooo stawp
I wish they understood a real compliment REQUIRES you want nothing in return for it. Its a gift. If you give a compliment to get something out of it, its manipulation.
Be reckless with compliments 🤣. Definitely my new life motto 🫶🏾.
Here is a foolproof way to figure out complimenting: Who? How? Why? It's easy.
Who? A family member? A friend? A strange? Gage the relationship and determine if a compliment is a good idea. Complimenting family and friends frequently is acceptable, but not strangers. It comes across creepy the less you know the person. Certain aspects are also not appropriate to compliment depending on relationship.
How? This also includes what. This is the catcalling thing, as it goes under objectification or backhandness. Figure out if this "compliment" could have unfortunate or negative connotations. The how is very depend on the who you are complimenting.
Finally, why? This is dependent on the first two questions. If you are complimenting to just be nice, or because someone needs a pick-me-up, that's good. However, if you have a motive behind complimenting someone to get something, it is manipulative. Again, catcalling. You are doing it as an advance on a stranger, because you want sx. Manipulative. Don't do it.
I'm sure there are other things to think about, but that seemed to be the easier way to break it up
In my experience, most people react to criticism with self-doubt or defensiveness, and react to compliments with skepticism. It’s sad.
I have never had giving compliments turn out badly.
The operative word being 'giving' - you don't expect anything in return. It almost comes under 'random acts of kindness.' It can turn someone's day around - it has for me.
If you are sincere, say it. It harms no-one, and makes the world a nicer place - and we sire as hell need that!
Unsolicited advice was common practice in my childhood environments.
As long as it was how to improve the task you're currently doing or where a really good sale on bulk rice was.
I love complimenting people! One of my favorite parts of my job is nominating people for awards I find. This year two librarians, a children's book author and a school got awards!!! AND the book is in the Library of Congress now!!!! Never underestimate the power of reckless compliments 😎😎😎
I go up to random women at the grocery store all the time, especially if the seem stressed, and say "hey I don't mean to bother you, I just have to tell you that you are absolutely gorgeous" "have a nice day/night/weekend". Then I go on my way. I also say I really like your hair, it looks really good", "I love your glasses", "tienes los ojos de una Diosa". I enjoy the fact that it makes peoples day sometimes. I'm a cis straight male but I compliment guys too. I remember how insecure my mom was and how much it made her day when a man asked her out... I think that may be a part of it.
The only time I've regretted compliments was when creeps decided that meant I wanted to sleep with them. For anyone else an honest compliment makes us both feel happy.
1:31 "if you wanna get a chicken bed..." I was not aware that I needed a chicken bed but now I'm interested.
There is a big difference between "saying anything to try to get her to have sex with you" and giving compliments you really mean.
"if you wanna get a chicken bed right away man" 🤣🤣 never thought about it, but now I do!
I've always made it a point to write "fan letters" to creatives that I admire - the designer of a typeface, a prolific cosplayer, etc. I figure that there's enough negativity in the world, so I should take the time to let someone know when I really appreciate their work. And I try to take the time to comment a compliment YT and IG content creators whose work is especially well done or just really helpful to me on a personal level. Especially if that creator is a member of a marginalized group, bc I know they get a lot of purely bigoted nasty comments.
And I do the same when I'm out and about. I tell someone they look great in that outfit or I like their hair. Just figure, if I think it, why not say it?
I haven't had a negative response yet.
Be reckless with compliments are words to live by.
i fully agree with him about unsolicited ADVICE (not compliments). The rest of that was nonsense. I absolutely hate unsolicited advice. Mainly because people who give unsolicited advice tend to not ask questions about anything, and just tell you what they think you should be doing. Especially in regard to weight loss, appearance, etc. When I give my FRIENDS advice, I usually include "I'm not the one who has to live with the consequences of this so do what you think is best, but this is my take." But unsolicited advice has nothing to do with compliments, like they aren't even In the same family of a conversations. I give strangers compliments, but I don't just walk up to people I don't know and tell them what I think they should be doing. It was a weird segway to me.
100%!! Let's be completely reckless with our compliments!
Why are some men so scared of women feeling good about themselves? What do they think is gonna happen? If someone has a healthy ego and respects others, they're going to remain that way regardless of how many compliments they do or don't get.
There is a British guy, Troy Hawke, who does great compliments in public. He is so lovely and funny. I watch his videos hoping to learn his rich vocabulary.
1:50 yeah. I do think that getting to know someone before that is important, especially if you’re taking them to your private residence to do that.
I can't really follow what the other guy was saying. Something about not complimenting people in fear of them getting the wrong idea? Personally, I love giving compliments. As someone who struggles to grow nice strong nails, if I see someone who has lovely nails (whether they're natural or those manicured ones where they glue them on), I like to compliment them on it. I also compliment people on their hair, or shirt they're wearing - honestly I just love giving compliments lol. You never know whose day you're going to make by saying something genuinely nice without expecting anything in return 🥰
Compliments are wonderful. Don’t limit them to people you know. Just don’t give creepy ones. Compliment choices, not biology. A cool tattoo (OMG! A lady at the supermarket had this awesome watercolour-style dinosaur on her arm and it looked amazing!), clothes, jewellery, accessories, a haircut are all good options with strangers. Effort is always a prime option for loved ones. Everyone likes to have their hard work noticed and appreciated, regardless of what the outcome of that was.
“Be reckless with compliments“ should be a shirt. I have spoken.
"It's a catch 22" *zoom at his face* I CAN'T- 😭
Every accusation is a confession with this type of people.
Me being reckless with my compliments:
"my, what an absolutely splendid blouse!"
*British people born in the 80s will get this reference.*
It's so wild how they all always do what they complain about
Then they complain about people complaining
I always know someone is going to say OH BUT YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM COMPLAINING ABOUT COMPLAINING!! GOTCHA LIB!
One difference is that i openly love complaining. What i don't love is how they act about everything (dishonest and manipulative)
Compliments mean your a generous person
“If you want to get a chicken bed”
I didn’t, but I’m intrigued now
I’ve never heard someone say this many things I’m inclined to agree with in a way that makes me this wary of them.
This is the first video where the stitched video (I mean the one you're responding to) makes some kind of sense to me. I don't think people have to be careful about giving compliments per sé, I think people need to be more conscious of what they consider to be a compliment. Many men compliment my body or say I'm sexy, but as a 23 year old woman being approached by random men or even "friends" who say this, it's weird (in a bad way) to me. Why is the first thing you say to me about aspects of my appearance that I cannot control? It shows no respect for my personality or interests or autonomy, they only see me for my body. In that regard, I agree with him and I hope his message reaches the men that think it's acceptable to deposit "compliments" to women as if we're objects to fuck. It also sounds like he's specifically addressing the creepy "alpha bros" that watch that type of content in the first place, but I could be wrong. And yes to no more staring! Don't act like a predator, how hard is that for some people? 😭
So what he's saying is teach her not to listen to anyone else, and keep her self-esteem down so she won't recognize that she deserves to be with someone who treats her better. Yep, he definitely is insecure, lol.
1) I'm over 50 and sometimes find myself offering unsolicited advice. (Sorry.😬)
2) I'm much more generous with giving compliments since 2020. Your hair is a fun color? I'm gonna tell you that's cool. Pretty clothing? I'm going to say so!
You have lovely eyes and I like your nail polish. That's my compliment for you today.
I be throwing out compliments to people whwn they're working, on transitit, wherever.
If I can add one thing.
Don't use compliments just to get sex or into a relationship. You it to everybody.
I still remember when you talked about someone in the comments of one of your videos offering you some advice and getting dogpiled by other commenters because it was technically unsolicited, and I still cannot figure out why neurotypical people have such a problem with people just trying to help.
As a trans guy it's definitely a thing where before I would compliment women willy nilly as a way to make friends. Now when I compliment a woman's shirt, and she responds with "I'm not interested" and I just repeat the compliment with a little fruity had gesture and "omg queen" and then she gets it and we can be friends. 😂
i like giving compliments, sadly i don't like to get attention (I'm very shy and a little socially awkward), so i can't deal well with being complimented myself (especially not by people i like) ... 😅
You know what they say. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. The guy just spent it all in one video.
If someone is telling me about a problem and I offer an advice they can take it or leave it, that's it but if they think I'm creepy for giving them an advice after they are talking about a problem then, for me that person is a problem and creepy. Go to complain to a therapist.
I had a woman telling me about how stressful she was and I advised her to give it a try to guided Yoga Nidra meditation because I do it and it helps but later I realized she was acting weird...no more talking to her and won't ever try to be kind of listen to her complaining, period. Problem solved.
They are so... Broken.
I dunno, maybe this won't be helpful. But I do think being responsible with your compliments is good advice. First, as an aspie, I've learned that sometimes my genuine compliments make people uncomfortable. Second, as someone female presenting, some compliments make me feel unsafe. There are compliments you just shouldn't be giving to your bartender, hotel employee, or wait staff.
Long story short: If you feel like complimenting someone (within reason), DO IT (I say that in a Palpatine impression) because you may never get the chance to say it lol.
I…don’t always agree with your takes. You are spot on about this guy, and it is hilarious.
So long as we are speaking true compliments, not just cataloging, sure. Some men honestly seem to not know the difference, but I assure you that as a young girl and teen, I got far too much of the latter by those who seemed to think an 8-14 yr old would appreciate random strange adult men telling her how fine and sexy she looks, or talking about the shape of her arse or breasts and what they'd like to do with them. That is just straight up sexual harassment, not compliments. You should also recognize that people in general have insecurities that your compliments might bring up unintentionally. That doesn't mean you should not compliment them at all, but just that you should be cautious. And not demeaning. As someone with an often visible disability, having random people tell me how inspiring and brave I am for going out in public and living my life... not so great. It is inherently ableist, as though people with disabilities being out and about is unusual. I know that it isn't intended as such, but it really is just as insulting as when someone talks to a companion instead of the person in the wheelchair, or pats them on the head like a dog.
SHARE THAT DOPAMINE FREELY AND GENEROUSLY!!!!
Always depends, for me, I compliment in a way that isn't seen as too friendly (I don't know why I'm like this lol), like even with my partner sometimes, I feel cautious whenever I compliment her (I do try to compliment her in the areas I know she's working a lot on), I guess that's just a me thing due to how my childhood was and how it still affects me
Aww, complimenting her on what she's working on... That's the sweetest thing I have ever seen all morning!
Do not judge the gentleman too harshly... *When have we not looked at our paramore and said in the most endearing terms... Mother Forker, will you put out and be my valentine?* But I'm quoting our vows... ❤😂
I dont get how men dont realize how weird and creepy they are. Just last night, I was out - attempting to enjoy a drink, watching a movie on Netflix - and on two different occasions, 2 separate men thought it was a good idea to tap me on the shoulder, and interrupt my peace... just, "because."
Are there guys out here who seriously do not know how to read the room?!
I compliment strangers all the time. But, I’m a woman and OLD AF.
I thought men don’t get enough compliments and he came up with this “unsolicited advice”? Yup, it’s gonna help tremendously with the issue \s. 😂
You are such a genius. You are both intelligent and wise, and so entertaining! Yeah, it never ceases to amaze me those men who act like being sincerely nice is weakness. I'd love to see them actually try it.
But it's not what they really mean. They just care whether the way that they act is going to get them in bed with lots of women, or not. Act aloof and stingy with compliments and kindness, and maybe you will be something to hunt or achieve for a time. But these interactions are pretty short-winded, though.
Women actually like to feel appreciated and valuable, just like men do . Long-term that's the guy most of us really want in our lives.
Eh, what he's talking about you can pay for. That's gonna be a pass for me. Fulfillment is more than satiated desire.
Thank you for speaking out as you do! Btw, my family makes fun of me because I try to make it a practice to compliment people. There's always something you can say that you like or admire, if you start choosing to pay attention to such things.
I cant help myself but I just do stare all the time and I might not even be starring at you.... I am just lost in my thoughts and I am always lost in thoughts.
When I say a compliment I Definitely say it wrong 😂😎
He needs some unsolicited advice about that sweater, though. 😂😂😂
Maybe take advice about what women want from an actuall woman. You got it right man, we sooooo hate being complimented and appreciated....who would like that? Lol i really enjoy your videos!
I think you're a well reasoned person who is firmly on the side of the "don't be a dick" philosophy and I applaud that. Dammit, I was reckless with that compliment. Please forgive me. Also, just some advice, go with more yellows in your fingernail paint, it'll make your eyes pop.
2:15 💯
I'm always up for compliments where compliments are due, but from experience when I was much younger, a guy going overboard with the compliments *was* creepy and seemed very insincere. Rather than "being reckless' with compliments, I would say, use compliments wisely. There, some unsolicited advice for ya LOL
I like how he's telling guys to stop mansplaining and not to give unappreciated advice
As a Norwegian American, I exclusively follow the rule “sex before coffee.”
If you’re a guy and worried about being perceived as creepy when complimenting women you don’t really know, I have what I think is a good rule of thumb: if you would get weird looks for giving the same compliment to your 12 niece, don’t be surprised if the recipient feels more objectified than flattered.
Just based on the little bit here, it sounds like he's giving the "justification" for negging.
@TheRealSpeachProf has a great presentation style, an enjoyable attitude towards life, and makes good sense. (There, unsolicited compliment).
I don't know because I haven't seen the vid but I think the guy's at least partly correct when it comes to unsolicited advice. Some people, and it is prevalent with men, always want to give advice. We tend to think a complaint is a request for advice even if it isn't or that everybody making what seems to be a mistake needs our advice, and we do need to tone that down. He's right that women won't like that (men don't either). And when you go to someone's channel or interview, poscast, etc. their advice isn't unsolicited, you've gone to hear what they have to say, even if it's advice. 🤷🏼♂️
If it's not genuine can it actually be a compliment?
I'm totally confused. What a drop-kick, as they say in my fair land
1:31 Would a duck bed be better?
When you opt into watching someone giving advice, I wouldn't call it unsolicited anymore. It's still bad advice, but I don't feel like it's the gotcha you're making it out to be.
These men really want to live their entire lives having contemptuous relationships with their closest partners.