Should I reveal my past SINS to my future HUSBAND?
Vložit
- čas přidán 20. 07. 2024
- YOU can get the reward and help ME educate and give dawa to people around the world
Click / galromaani
or send via PayPal gibreelk@gmail.com
You want to send some BITCOIN?
Contact me directly
Depression? Anxiety? Sexuality Problems? Fatawa? (With Qualified Shaikh)
Book a POSITIVE ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGY COUNSELING SESSION
alromaani.simplybook.it
Order my NEW BOOK Journal of a New Muslim newmuslimjournal.company.site/
Become a REAL MAN and Support Group for Men ONLY - Join the Muslim Alpha Men Society
t.me/AlphaMuslim
YOU can get the reward and help ME educate and give dawa to people around the world
Click www.patreon.com/galromaani
or send via PayPal gibreelk@gmail.com
You want to send some BITCOIN?
Contact me directly
Depression? Anxiety? Sexuality Problems? Fatawa? (With Qualified Shaikh)
Book a POSITIVE ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGY COUNSELING SESSION
alromaani.simplybook.it
Order my NEW BOOK Journal of a New Muslim newmuslimjournal.company.site/
Become a REAL MAN and Support Group for Men ONLY - Join the Muslim Alpha Men Society
t.me/AlphaMuslim
Salam Sir, one of my friends found out that his wife has committed zina before marriage with her boyfriend with whom she was in a relationship for 2 years. he has divorced her one time and two time talaq is left. now he is asking me about this what should i say to him? i am totally confused
Don’t forget to send a lot of salutations to the prophet it’s Friday tomorrow in sha Allah and the recitation of Surat Al-Kahf
Just a Reminder🤍
Don’t you think an even better solution to nip this in the bud would be this: if you know a man has a standard that he wants his wife to be a virgin just like he is and you KNOW you don’t fit that standard, then don’t marry him ESPECIALLY if he avoided women and fitnah all his life to preserve himself for a VIRGIN wife.
Have some respect for his standards and have some respect for yourself to not build your marriage on a violation of his standards.
"Have some respect for this standards" 👌👌👌
Awesome!
Some ppl don't care, some do, and if they do respect it, you are woman and your body isn't like that of a man. honesty!
Perfect!
If a man preserves himself, he deserves a preserved woman
Spot on
Sure but where do you find men like this do they exist?
If a sister has a past, and changed her ways, I hope Allah makes it easy for her to find a husband. It just ain't gonna be me
When u say had a past do u mean , a non virgin or a virgin who did one or 2 mistakes ?
Same brother
@@LearningWithMaryam this is why you not to tell anyone your past even though a revert story is different from the born Muslims who have past because Allah forgives once your past once become a Muslim and it has been recommended to not expose any sins done in the night during the day as the night covers and what happened in day is covered by the day once you repent from a sin to Allah you leave it for he is the most merciful and the most forgiving but repeating the sin is not good too and Allah knows the best.
@@sadyadey782 but at the end the man will find out about his wife's past then what. of course he will divorce her.
personally i think we should lay down the expectations before starting the real conversation with each other (before marriage). move away if there are red flags that you really care about. if you feel something's going to bother you in the future, talk about it and see how he/she feels right now about it. i say this because sometimes people keep themselves chaste in the hope of finding someone with specific standards, if you're this type of person then it's better to move on then to compromise with a person with red flags, if you think you cant (listen to the vid, do you think you these flags wont cross ur mind in the future?) . At the end of the day there's no hard nd fast rule other than knowing yourself and the spouse you want
SubhanaAllah!! I was thinking to ask this question and up pops your notification.
Thank you brother, I have always said and thought this is not correct.
If she had relations in the past,it's going to affect me as I haven't had any.
If I kept myself clean,I deserve my future wife to be kept clean.
And if she lies,it's gonna end up bad for her.
"pious women for pious men"
@@OsadeTOOT exactly,brother.
Maybe men should go back to ""qiwama""" and keep their women safe! Girls are spending most of their time outside, this is expected, innit? Again, not to generalize but let's be real, most if not all of them won't admit it but ... is it logical that most girls go to high schools, college, work etc. YETTTT NEVER EVER got involved with anyone??? (I mean unless she's a robot lol Hmmmm. There's a reason why a woman shouldn't go outside without a ''mahrem''' but most of us pretend to know better and we start coming up with our own fatwas like "oh, mahrems were for the past, nowadays it's ok, women don't need a chaperone"??!! All I'm saying, there're consequences to cherry-picking what we want to follow from the religion
Peace
@@bella_m23 my man that's what i've been saying the whole time
Do you think the Prophet (saw) thought like that? Adhubillah! He (saw) only married ONE virgin out of all his (saw) wives.....SubhanAllah Are you claiming to be better than the Prophet (saw)?
Great question
Wa feek BarakaAllah, Brother Gabriel. Maaaaan, he is indeed the REALEST of aaaaaall YT-Dā'iyas subhanAllah! Tackling any real life issues of our Ummah solely base on Quran and Sunna, this episode is so huge, again: I love you for the sake of Allah. May we all benefit from your advices and strive to be the most merciful and knowledgable Servants, spouses and parents. Ameen. Ps: this whole culture thing really annoys me, thank you for speaking up about it!! And the brother you have mentioned in that regard is suuuuch a merciful husband, mashaAllah!
If he's a virgin,and you are not,please don't destroy his life,a virgin muslim man deserves a virgin/actual muslim woman.
if thats what they prefer then they should definately respect that, even a man who had one virgin wife may still not want to be with a woman with a past but other guys might not care. some women may or may not care, we should still remember we are brothers and sisters, so no forcing each other but respect! and encouraging good standards isn't bad!
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 yes at last someone said it right
dont equate virgin with being actual muslim. cause one who committed a sin after true istighfar she/he can be better muslim than the virgin u r talking about.
@God Lord Anas ibn Malik reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “All of the children of Adam are sinners, and the best sinners are those who repent.”
Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2499
@God Lord so u just made an assumption. i am a born muslim.
pious women for pious men.
Isn't this fraud and misrepresentation?
What if the guy is a man of principles and considers such lewd behaviours as red lines yet the girl acts clean knowingly hiding those factors just to get married to him?
Won't it be more suitable if they open up before marrying about themselves before each other as take it or leave it? Forming a fearless relationship on the basis of HONESTY and SINCERITY?
reavealing sins is not allowed.
@@angelinataherin3102 it is allowed in some cases
A man has the right to know
A virgin man cannot be deceived
Understand our preference
Virgin men prefer virgin women
Period
@@angelinataherin3102 hahaha then there's really no reason to avoid sins
Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly. It is a part of sinning openly when a man does something at night, then the following morning when Allaah has concealed his sin, he says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night,’ when all night his Lord has concealed him and the next morning he uncovers what Allaah had concealed.”
@@OsadeTOOT Allah , the fear and love towards Him is the biggest reason to avoid sins
If a born muslim women or man had a bad past it is a red flag.They should respect the other person and do not decieve him/her.
how is it a red flag?
Elaborate, why so? Our sins, our past should not keep us from moving forward especially after repenting and correcting yourself and your life.
@@fastng In short, it's an indicator of their level of moral fortitude. When looking for a partner, who will raise your children for the most part of the day, you want to ensure you dont entrust your childrens care in the hands of a morally weak individual. It shows how seriously they take the commands of Allah, how much self worth they have, how they view their family and how much care they show to not hurt their family. Morally strong individuals create strong family units, weak individuals result in weak family units. Moral strength is not easy to achieve as merely saying "I've repented". It requires a lot of effort and sacrifice. One can repent from a sin but that doesn't mean the damage and harms that come with it can be undone.
@@tasfiyatarbiya3194 keyword HAD A BAD PAST. how is that a red flag? Allah Guides Whom He Wills, those people with a bad past are probably better Muslims than you and I. So disrespectful to them.
@@fastng its disrespectful to individuals who havent had a bad past to suggest they cant have standards to not want to be with individuals who have had a bad past. Their ranking in the sight of Allah may be higher, no doubt, but that is in the account of Allah which we are unaware of. We are human and have to make judgements based on the things that are known to us. Our entire penal system even is based on actions people have done, regardless of how high their position may be with Allah. If someone commits a crime, they have to serve their sentence. Zina is a crime. It has its consequences.
If a man or woman wants a partner thats virgin.. you can tell this to the person. The person doesnt have to tell their sins they can take distance.
what if they ask you? Do you just brush it off or change subject?
@precizion one thing we should do is try to be considerate, for example is a woman asks do you want a second wife, or a man might ask are you a virgin to ask me that? are you that standard of a woman? because to be fair some women and men do honestly regret, what we can do to make it easy is say here is a list, do you match or not, and then one may or may not go into details, so one might not know... we are brothers and sisters so we should make it easy.
For Allah's sake, be honest with any prospect. Don't go into detail but do admit that you have a past. We, virgin men, deserve virgin and pure women, period.
What if the person poses it as a condition for marriage. Is it now halal to lie about it or just reject the engagement?
Just make a list of ur condition and ask her,if she Matches it and if she says no. U will not marry her and she does not expose her sins and u dont know which of ur condition is not met...
.If u say what if she lies?
If she want to lie she could lie even if u ask the question directly too.
Brother my husband is forcing me to say about my past ....what should i do ...he is asking me to promise ...that there is no hiddent things in my past.. ..i have shared all my past sins but ...only one past sin i didn't say ..what to do😢😢😢😢 please reply me
Ask Allah for Help in this matyer and do not expose your sin no matter what
speaking of "lude - ness", on naseeha sessiona a girl was being interviewed, her not getting attention from her father was an issue. first thing about being a righteous parent is choosing a righteous spouse.
Marrying a virgin in hadiths (other point), - Wedlock, Marriage (Nikah), Matron Bhukari
Narrated Jabir bin `Abdullah: While we were returning from a Ghazwa (Holy Battle) with the Prophet, I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel A rider came behind me and pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet (ﷺ peace and blessings be upon him) himself. He said, 'What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied, I am newly married " He said, "Did you marry a virgin or a matron? I replied, "A matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" When we were about to enter (Medina), the Prophet (ﷺ peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Wait so that you may enter (Medina) at night so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic region.
mentioning a past sin to help ppl going through something similar is different.
yes but that hadith does not mean that matrons are 2nd grade women
@Bob Bob for muslims, when it comes to marriage, priority ahould be deen and akhlaq. if u let ur culture dominate u rather than islam, then i cant do anything about it.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
@Bob Bob Jabir Bin Abdillah R.A. reported that when his father died, he left behind nine girls that Jabir had to look after. Soon after the death of his father, Jabir married a non-virgin. To this, after meeting Jabir, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) asked Jabir, ‘Have you married, O Jabir?’ He replied to the Prophet (Peace be upon him), ‘Yes’. He then asked him, ‘Is she virgin or non-virgin?’. He replied, ‘non-virgin’.
The Prophet (Peace be upon him) then said,
“Should not you have considered a virgin who plays with you and you with her, and she laughs with you and you with her.”
Jabir replied, “Indeed, my father ‘Abdullah died leaving many daughters to be looked after. I did not want to add to them another young girl like themselves, so I married a grown woman to take care of them and look after them.”
Allah’s Messenger, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) then said, after listening to Jabir’s reason,
“Indeed, you have made a good decision. May Allah bless that tremendously for you.”
[al-Bukhari, Muslim, and others]
so it depend on ur situaton, if marrying a virgin is better for ur situation then u should. if it does not like the sahaba u should not
@Bob Bob Question
I know a widow who has children, and I want to get married. I am wondering whether I should marry her or a virgin who has not been married before?
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
This depends on the situation of the husband; it may be that marriage to a widow is more suitable for him, and better.
The widow may be a lady of religious commitment and good character, such that you would not want to let the opportunity to marry such a woman “slip through your fingers”, and you could not find a virgin of such religious commitment and character.
But generally speaking, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage to virgins.
There is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him), whose father had died, leaving him with sisters. In his case it would not have been suitable for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So he wanted to marry a woman who had been previously married, who could take care of them and look after them, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of his decision.
It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me, ‘Have you got married?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl, whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ I said, ‘I have sisters and I wanted to marry a woman who could gather them together and comb their hair and take care of them.’ He said: ‘You will reach, so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to associate with your wife (that you may have an intelligent son).’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715)
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2257), “… so she could teach them and discipline them.”
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari (2805) and Muslim (715): “He said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, when I asked his permission (to participate in jihaad), “Have you married a virgin or a previously-married woman?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” He said, “Why did you not marry a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and I have young sisters, so I did not want to marry someone like them who could not discipline them or take care of them, so I married a previously-married woman who could take care of them and discipline them.”’”
It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “My father died, leaving seven - or nine - daughters, and I married a previously-married woman. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married, O Jaabir?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘A virgin or a previously-married woman?’ I said, ‘A previously-married woman.’ He said, ‘Why not a young girl whom you could play with and she could play with you, and you could laugh with her and she could laugh with you?’ I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah had died and left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to them someone like them. So I had married a woman who could take care of them and discipline them. He said, ‘May Allaah bless you,’ or similar kind words.”(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052)
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:
“It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
And Allaah knows best. source: islamqa.info
@Bob Bob Question
I need help.I married a Muslim Woman who had 4 children.A dedicated muslim widow. In spite of my parents approval I married her.And now we are living happily dedicated in five times prayers,reading Quran etc,along with the children.The reason for my marrage was sincere and genuine, no foul play of intention.To give a helping hand to a woman burdened with children and her sustainence.
The reason for refusal of my parents was as to why I should carry somebody elses burden or trash and thats not fair for me to face a punishment as such. And was also concern that the difficuilty and shame they will face in front of their relations.
I had humbly and kindly explained to them this:
1. I do have the courage to take a woman of that nature and face the consequences with the help of Allah.And Allah will not put a burden that I cannot carry.
2. And why I should not face a punishment for a good cause in the name of Allah,where as I am giving life to a women who had emmencely fallen down mentally,physically and financially.
3. Relations talk about pride and wealth only,do not pray, think Allah.and also do not care us, And I totally rely on Allah and not on my relations kith & kin. But in spite of all explaination they refuse me and my wife.I married in spite of all this and I am happy now. I repent every day to Allah for being very hash & hard to my parents.
Dear brother,couple of days before in TV in a particular Islamic session A brother said that Janna or heaven is in the feet of a persons mother,if I heard it correctly,Now I feel too guilty about myself. So please let me know what shall I do now?.
Answer
Praise be to Allah.
What you have done, marrying a woman who has children and was suffering from numerous problems is an action for which you deserve to be praised and rewarded, especially since she is religiously-committed as seems to be the case from your question.
Islam encourages the one who wants to get married to look for a woman who is religiously-committed, for she is the best kind of wife he can have. She will keep herself and her husband chaste, and raise his children in the manner that Allaah likes. She will obey her husband and not disobey him. Marriage to a virgin is encouraged in sharee’ah and is better than marrying a previously-married woman, but the previously-married woman may have characteristics that make her better than a virgin, such as if marriage to her serves a purpose that cannot be met by marrying a virgin, or if her religious commitment and attitude is better than that of a virgin.
Al-Bukhaari (4052) and Muslim (715) narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Have you got married, O Jaabir?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “To a virgin or to a previously-married woman?” I said, “To a previously-married woman, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Why not a young girl with whom you could play and she could play with you?” I said, “My father was killed on the day of Uhud, and he left behind nine daughters. I did not like to bring to them someone like them, and I wanted to bring a woman who could look after them and guide them.” He said, “May Allaah bless you,” or he said good words to me. According to one report he said, “You did the right thing.” And according to a version narrated by Muslim, “Then that is better. For women may be married for their religious commitment, their wealth or their beauty. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
Al-Shawkaani said in Nayl al-Awtaar (6/126):
This indicates that it is mustahabb to marry virgins, except for one who has a reason to marry a previously-married woman, as happened in the case of Jaabir. End quote.
Al-Sindi said:
“Then that is better” means, what you did by marrying a previously-married woman is better or is good. End quote.
So you have done well by marrying this woman, and what people say should not matter to you after that. You have done what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, for most of his wives had been previously married.
It is not essential for your parents to agree with your marriage, especially if their objections are for the reasons you mentioned. We have previously quoted in the answer to question no. 21052 the fatwa of Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Humayyid concerning this matter, so please read it as it is important.
You have to repent and seek Allaah’s forgiveness for being harsh towards your parents. You have to be gentle with them and try to please them. You can argue with them in the way that is better so as to convince them, and in this way you can combine two things: marrying whom you want and pleasing your parents, which is important.
Secondly:
With regard to the hadeeth, “Paradise is at the feet of mothers,” this wording is not saheeh.
It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas and from Anas.
The hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas was narrated by Ibn ‘Adiyy in al-Kaamil (6/347). He said: this is a munkar hadeeth [a category of weak hadeeth].
The hadeeth of Anas was narrated by al-Khateeb al-Baghdaadi, and it is da’eef (weak).
Al-‘Ajlooni said:
Concerning this subject there is also the report narrated by al-Khateeb in his Jaami’ and by al-Qadaa’i in his Musnad, from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) and attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Paradise is at the feet of mothers.” Its isnaad includes Mansoor ibn al-Muhaajir and Abu’l-Nadr al-Abaar, both of whom are unknown.
Al-Khateeb also mentioned it narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him), and classed it as da’eef.
Kashf al-Khafa’, 1/401.
Shaykh al-Albaani said of the hadeeth of Ibn ‘Abbaas that it is mawdoo’ (fabricated). And he said:
We can do without it and refer instead to the hadeeth of Mu’aawiyah ibn Jaahimah, who said that he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I want to go out for jihad and I have come to consult you.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.”
Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, 2/54, and by others such as al-Tabaraani (1/225/2), and its isnaad is hasan in sha Allah. Al-Haakim classed it as saheeh (4/151) and al-Dhahabi agreed with him, as did al-Mundhiri, 3/214.
Al-Silsilah al-Da’eefah, 593.
And Allaah knows best.
collected from:
islamqa.info
Brother Gabriel, I don't know whether I understood you correctly, but as far as I know, if one of the two is not a virgin anymore he/she *must* inform the other. Of course one should not disclose sins, but at the same time they should be honest with each other before they enter marriage such that they do not deceive one another.
If a man wants to marry a virgin (which by the way is a Sunnah) he has every right to do so. If the woman hasn't married prior to this, he is to assume that she is a virgin. If she however, has fornicated and she doesn't tell him, and they get married, he will be deceived by her. And if he finds out after marriage he has every right to divorce her, and the woman must give back every form of dowary or gifts he gave to her, as she has deceived him.
In the same manner if someone has a disease, or addiction which remnants are still observable to this day he/she should not conceal this. Because you are dragging an unsuspecting muslim in it.
Perhaps I didn't understand you well, but it seemed like you insinuated that a woman does not have to tell her future husband if she is not a virgin anymore, except if they are from a certain culture etc. etc.
Is this what you said? Because as far as I know this is very, very wrong. If so, could you provide us with the scolars who say so?
Baaraka Allahu fik.
May I have the reference for this akhi? Jazakallah khayran in advance.
@@MechkanysT If a woman has never been married, you assume her to be a virgin, because that is the origin. You do not assume that she has fornicated. You do not presume the worst of another muslim, because that is "Sou' adh-Dhann" and that is a sin.
As in Surat Hujurat verse 12: O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.
So if I am going to marry an unmarried woman, I expect her to be a virgin, it is obligatory to assume that.
Furthermore, in a authentic narration of Tirmidhi Abu Hurayra has narrated that the prophet said: "Whoever deceives, does not belong to us."
No doubt that concealing such a matter is deception. Just like someone has a disease, or someone drinks alcohol, or somebody has physical problems due to drug abuse in his/her past, these are important matters that can influence marriage. If somebody doesn't tell you he/she is ill, you are not going to assume the worst. Rather, if he/she doesn't say anything specific about his/her health you assume him/her to be okay. If they are actually sick and they have concealed it and you marry them, then this marriage is funded in deception which is not allowed.
To give you a personal example: I myself am from a western society, we don't have that backwards 'blood on the sheet' etc. but if I got married to a woman that has never married before and after marriage I found out that she actually has't been a virgin, well this would be the ultimate betrayal and I would divorce her immediatly. Why? Because of her deception towards. I would feel ever so betrayed.
@@MechkanysT And this is the evidence that it is Summah to marry a virgin:
In Sahih al-bukhari:
Narrated Jabir:
My father died and left behind seven or nine daughters, and I married a woman. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Did you get married, O Jabir?" I replied, "Yes." He asked, "Is she a virgin or a matron?" I replied, "She is a matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a virgin girl so that you might play with her and she with you (or, you might make her laugh and she make you laugh)?" I said, "My father died, leaving seven or nine girls (orphans) and I did not like to bring a young girl like them, so I married a woman who can look after them." He said, "May Allah bestow His Blessing on you."
I hope this suffices.
@@heromys9463 that rule of assuming good doesn't apply when it comes to dealing with people in business, marriage etc. You don't make any assumptions, you follow the evidence.
@@onlyallahisworthyofworship5599 True, you follow the evidence. But if nothing is said concerning the issue of virginity (and of course you have no evidence that she is or is not), you as a man, are not going to ask her "are you a virgin?". If you would ask such a question, it is as if you are implying that she isn't chaste. Her wali would probably hit you if you asked her that in his presence.
We not allowed to expose our sins so we are not allowed to say it rather ask what are your deal breakers for example non virgin etc because if allah covers your sins we are not allowed to expose it and Allah knows best
capitalize A in Allah!
A zani's favorite fatwa
Offcourse after that 5 days no ehm after 2 days super.
Being a man, I have no tolerance even if she was in a relationship, Not talking about zina though.
This is my nature. Anyone can disagree
What if they say wallah ?
So you suggest lying to a virgin husband saying she is virgin while she is not, deceiving the poor guy who really did things right. It's not fair, the marriage would be based in lies.
I hope all sisters who repent from past fix your ways find good brother to marry to it ain’t gonna be me good luck
Thank You brother Gabriel for sharing this Knowledge,
I believe videos like this are also as important as other ones you post.
Good Men on the True path will take your advice and will NOT dig into their wives past and will Not have baseless suspicions on women.
And if a man who is a Virgin wants a virgin woman then he can just express his desire and the woman IF not a virgin she can just walk away by giving any excuse and maintaining her Dignity.
Never reavel your sin to your husband or wife
i think girls should be careful that are rhey marrying in a culture dominated house hold or religious household may allah protect our sisters ameen
Abu Hurayrah said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “All of my ummah will be forgiven except those who sin openly. It is a part of sinning openly when a man does something at night, then the following morning when Allaah has concealed his sin, he says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night,’ when all night his Lord has concealed him and the next morning he uncovers what Allaah had concealed.”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5721; Muslim, 2990).
true but some sins may effect the other, so it may be an exception, like if you have an disease you might have to tell your potential partner or a dr., this is just common sense, or if they have a preference respect it, why lie to a man and then get mad when he leaves you? Quran says men and women are brothers and sisters but still different!
encourage goodness not badness!
I thought you weren’t supposed to expose another ones sins? Or does that law only apply to Muslim men and not women?
It applies to Everyone
@@ibnamanot My question was rhetorical. What I’m saying is, Muslims only care about hiding sins when it’s men’s wrongdoing but are quick to expose a woman if she were to cheat on her husband.
@@aidan9656 that is not true.
Won't this encourage woman to engage in Zina ?
Women stay with cheating men because society has conditioned them to believe this is men’s nature. Gabriel says it himself in other videos, but he did says it’s harm out of a marriage.
It’s in no ones nature to do haram and women should not accept it if a man cheats. It says a lot about his character.
It’s hard for men to stay virgins in this day and age so if a man has it says a lot about his character. So If the women is not then she should not tell him but don’t continue to marry him.
Correct
I will preserve myself and I will expect someone similar
@@aatif7518 it’s crazy that in society now men get shamed for being a virgin.
These are wise words. Thank you for articulating what a lot of muslim men are going through.
@@sarahosman9030 so true, the non Muslim men would be dayuth and offer their women to Muslim men, it reminds me of scholars who said the xani wasnts everyone else to be one to feel better. Women like strong men and they can link that to polygyny, men are the opposite, they like shy house fertile women, its fitrah! if someone opposes that they are sexist.
YES VIRGIN MEN DESERVE VIRGIN WOMEN
To be safe, don't ask and don't tell concerning past sins.
if it affects the other person like you have a disease you might have to tell...
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543
In this case, probably yes. STD are something peopple have to be upfront with their spouses. Mann, that's gotta burn to have ur spouse tell u they have STD. As a guy, I'll be honest, that'll wreck me for good.
This is lying and being a hypocrite
@@berryboi1574 yea but I also do believe there are ways to communicate while preserving the dignity, like say this is my list, do you match it? you might not know what specific thing it is, we should also ask about ibada too, nothing wrong with that!
I have the right to ask!
I want a similar pure virgin woman like myself!
We are becoming a nation of confesses. And its not confess to change or seek forgiveness, its more to feel good for getting out in the open and drag a few more people to it. Exposing past sins is not the way forward. Seeking forgiveness from Allah and never going back to it.
Husband has the right to know if she is virgin or not
@@aatif7518 don't spam
@@swaliulhaque8125 k
if it affects the other person like you have a disease you might have to tell...
@Bob Bob thats very informative, Thank you. Jazak Allahu Khayr!
non Islamic studying women don't know how to be women, its like they need men to teach them again.
a woman who does xina & wants a husband asks for more & gives less as a woman to him, her job at heart is to bring comfort so this is a big disgust situation - some care so respect it, some don't, don't judge but respect standards! You Nisa are not men in mind or body,... recall, you are for Allah & our sisters and we are for Allah & your brothers! This is our double standard and will encourage your standards.
It is encouraged to marry loving fertile virgins, the sunnah is different.
I disagree with Gabriel on another thing, I wouldn't bring it up & other won't, if she did tawba, I just wouldn't marry her as a first wife or bring it up as long as its not related to the issue in sha Allah, because if she repented its her right! She could also look for a guy that is in a similar situation. also if something spreads ppl need to be honest so again it depends!
Women respect men who have partners, their mind is different, they should also extend this to 2nd wives, ours is opposite as it should be naturally!
What ??!!!
@@Peace-l4i hehehehhe
Well said! 👍
@@northernrebel1402 Jazak Allahu Khayr!
What qualifies as past sins? Fornication?
Every kind of haram that you have committed, may it be just a simple relationship on call to the worst of sins like fornication.
Do NOT ask or tell the past sins to your future wife or husband.
@@Peace-l4i thats straight decieving
chad
Not really Chad, more like beta.. am not talking about gabriel, I mean if we listen to the advice gabriel gave in this video
@@OsadeTOOT yeah i ment gabreil lol
What's a chad?
@@jeffreyepstein4310 Chad is like the man that has fun with a woman, then leaves her for another woman. then the Chad's ex marries the safe choice who's gonna provide for her, that's the beta husband.
but akhi, if i as a man ask that to a woman, should she lie?
you can only lie in 3 situations, i don't see how this is one of them. Prophet peace and blessings be upon him said he who deceives is not from us.
we should teach proper ettiquette in questioning and encourage good morals!
Just be cruel to good people (men or women), trap them, break them, and take them to the point of no return. As god is most forgiving and most merciful will always be the answer for the one who suffers. Is this Islam?
I am confused what u u r asking about? Can u reohrase your question
The husband has the right to know if she is virgin or not
As it's MUSTAHHAB to marry virgins based on two authentic hadiths from bukhari
And many other past scholars also say this including the muhhadith Sheikh Al Albani
If she isn’t previously married, it should be assumed that she is a virgin.
Otherwise is he supposed to ask her to expose possible sins? Idk
don't spam
@@m-5973 nope, that cannot be assumed
He can ask it in a way which doesn't cause her to go in details
@@m-5973 you are wrong
It can definitely cannot be assumed
This opinion of yours is a weak opinion from some of the hanafi madhab
I have done research on this
@@aatif7518 I am not basing this off of the hanafi madhhab or whatnot. I think it is a simple rule in islam not to expose your sins. And if the woman is a practicing Muslim who isn’t previously married one should always assume good. If you ask her about a possible past she would be exposing sins which is bad.
Beta husband ...
Just to be on the safe side, don’t marry a woman who has a promiscuous past.
How likely is that with Muslim women?
The same applies to men as well.
@@user-ww2lc1yo9c In this day and age it’s very likely with Muslim women. Especially in western countries. I live in the west and I have seen some crazy situations here.
@@northernrebel1402 your enviornment does effect you, like christian women in Arab nations still are virgin until married...
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 Agreed!
@@northernrebel1402 it's the same with Muslim men also obviously.
Not even watching this. Virgin men deserve virgin women, period. If you're reading this and were a zaniya in the past, please don't destroy someone's life. Respect the virgin man's standards, and LEAVE!
but its not only about zina, its more general like past relationships, middle school dating, etc. but yes zina is serious and a righteous person would be sincere about it
I really like your point of view on many matters but this one doesn't seem right.
As for female and male fornicators, give each of them one hundred lashes, and do not let pity for them make you lenient in ˹enforcing˺ the law of Allah, if you ˹truly˺ believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a number of believers witness their punishment.
A male fornicator would only marry a female fornicator or idolatress. And a female fornicator would only be married to a fornicator or idolater. This is ˹all˺ forbidden to the believers.
Reference: Quran Surah An-Nur Verse 2 and 3
So much for Allah doesn't bring it up!
In light of the above reference, it is forbidden for non-fornicators to marry fornicators. If you hide your previous sex life then accidentally believers who have maintained their chastity would get fornicators. I agree that the first part we cannot implement without an Islamic state but for the second part, it is very practical to punish people who were promiscuous to be only stuck with other promiscuous people. Why should a chaste person get the damaged promiscuous person in marriage? And to add to it be completely unaware that the marriage is breaking down because of the mental damage, the promiscuous partner brought to the table rather than blaming themselves.
Even after Allah forgives the past sins, the ruling of chaste for chaste and promiscuous for promiscuous still remains!
Believers' marriage options are already limited. Current culture and system, in general, strives to make life harder and harder for the believers. Sexual liberation only helps the disbelievers and punishes the believers by making their image distasteful for any potential spouse. Now you want to punish the believers even further by giving away the only advantage we have remaining by opening doors for the promiscuous people to take away the chaste women from us as well and make us fight even harder for dwindling chaste population?
Is this an educated opinion or is it just an 'I can read an ayah from the Qur'an in English therefore I'm right and you're not' opinion?
Do you know the context of the revelation of that ayah and how it's applied?
Say you have a non virgin that's spinned her life around - she's never to be deemed pious because she sinned albeit differently from you or someone else?
Go speak to your local imam or whoever if you need a second opinion.
And Allah surely knows best.
@@12345678956824 Why don't you and your "imam" enlighten us with the context of that ayah before throwing my correct analysis down.
@@12345678956824 it's my right to ask her
@@12345678956824 Sins do have categories and not all of them are the same. Ask a woman if she's willing to accept her husband if he is found to be a registered sex offender or a murderer who repented. After all, it's just sinning differently.
Well said brother. You expressed my feelings the way I couldn't. It's like what's the whole reason we even stay pure? If at the end we're gonna marry a dead battery. They make us feel like we're not different from them.
correct brother gabriel....do not tell anyone of whatever they did, do not expose their own weakness and do not expose it to anyone, repent whether you are man or woman....carry oneselves past sins to the graves..whatever you did in the past, let it be between you and ALLAH....make taubah
Yeah just deceive your husband or wife
@@OsadeTOOT you know the woman/man through her/his family's background....there lots of women to choose brother, go to a religious family and ask for their daughter
@@vost2916 you dont know?
@@vost2916 wasting of time replying you ,stop and sallam
@@aniqaliq7291 you see even women from religious families aren't safe now. I've seen it. Comes from a religious family always accompanied by her guardians, the entire community thinks she is a chaste women most never saw her without hijab but she still managed to have a boyfriend. Most likely didn't commit zina but did some minor things. And some dudes saw her boyfriend crying on her wedding day.
I agree. Scholars unanimously agree on this. Especially for girls, the past should remain in the past.
But in my own opinion, we see more and more of these cases as women started going outside. What does society expect? Now of course, the majority of us women won't admit to this in real life, actually they all tell their husbans: "many people have asked for my hand, but you're the first in my life"!! Sometimes it's innocent, meaning just having feelings for the opposite sex, but yeah, most if not all of those who went to college have been there!
No, scholars have difference here
I disagree with the first point you made. Maybe they should've thought about these problems while they were committing the sin. why marry a good pious man if you don't deserve him? Why marry him if he wants someone who stayed away from such stuff but you're like dead batteries.
@@OsadeTOOT stop disrespecting. none is free from sin. remember a prostitute was given jannah because she gave water to a thirsty dog. So dont take the risk of humiliating someone for their past sins which have been forgiven by Allah because Allah made them do true istighfar. infact, after the true repentance they can be much better muslim than u. "dead batteries' such words or metaphor is not expected from a tongue of true believer
@@angelinataherin3102
Don't worry sister, we know that men don't like or aren't prepared to hear the truth. Why do you think (a lot of) women lie to them! They are the same, they play outside but then expect pure, chaste women lollll it's an equation, they want money, they want ''independent'' women, it just comes with the territory! (again, nobody will admit to this in real life, you know the drill. "Honey, you're the FIRST love of my life hahaha"""
Also, even those who get married young, or Utubers, social influencers etc. the minute those women start making their own money, it gets to their heads, next thing you see (hijab gone, husband gone, started daing etc. of course, I'm not saying ALLLLL)
Again, we will all pay the consequences in life.
عفوا تعف نسائكم!!!
@@bella_m23 the problems starts when we start putting virginity over being pious.
Exposing sins is haram. Period.
Some men in the comments need to stop trying to wiggle their way out of this.
If you want a virgin just put it in your contract or smthing. Case closed.
Yeah cuz i'll tell your husband that i had you too
that kind of shows the woman has no honor, however if she repents that is good, same with brothers.
@@falsesectslikeshiaarejudeo6543 it's better for them to marry those in a similar situation. pious women for pious men, period.
@@OsadeTOOT for many ppl that is the case, some ppl don't care, some do, respect the preference!
this is exactly why I will refuse to marry a woman above the age of 25 in a western country
What?
so I should not allow my daughter to marry a man over 25 either?
@@reneepoesnecker2889well you have no say in who your daughter marries, it's the father's decision. Men will just find someone better and younger. A man's marriage market value increases as he gets older so his options increase. For women it's the opposite as they get older.
@@reneepoesnecker2889 if you think men and women are the same in age, then you are among those who need a review!
@@onlyallahisworthyofworship5599 thank you, thats din and common sense, we are different women and men not only need to be better but raise better kids... its like they need men to teach them to be women again, bigot feminists who came after big banks to switch from farm to debt bondage for minorities hate the truth!
Subhanallah the man who made himself bleed is the kind of man that women want to be the perfect Islamic wife for, coz it shows he is willing to protect her and will most likely provide for her.
So others don't protect,or provide for their wives?what a logic,do you do anything else sister like I mean taking care of your kids,doing something for husband?or you just all day be a keyboard warrior,as for me iam not even married,so I don't have people to worry about.
@@yotubeinternethypocrite8412 did I says others don’t?? If you don’t have the character of this man then I can see where your insecurities come from. Well I’ve been married for nearly 2 decades alhamdulilah and have many kids and work. Us women can multi task so mind your own business. Maybe you should spend less time being a keyboard worrier and more time finding a wife and completing half your deen brother.
Perfect Islamic wife don't mix with men
Ask Gabriel himself
Lol
Cherry picker
@@sarahosman9030 a virgin man CAN expect a virgin women
This preference DOES NOT make him less of a religious man!
This preference is 100% alright
Only Allah knows it that woman repented
I will never ever marry a promiscuous woman
I have the right to a virgin woman because I am one myself
You shouldn't disclose your sins to anyone that's the general rule!!!
chase your desires, repent, then marry someone that didn't. typical sinners.
@@OsadeTOOT
Everyone is a sinner we are not Angels but if a guy says he wants to marry only a virgin then respect him...dont lie ..but you don't hv to disclose your sins to anyone... just turn down the proposal and give an excuse thats all am saying
@@bellah09 we are all sinners, but our sins aren't equal and we don't all commit major sins. you go as far as flirting with a man, letting him undress you and satisfy himself with you, then you come out lying about being pure and wanting to marry a pious man.. then say that we are all sinners.. wow! why do you think there's different punishments for different sins?
@@OsadeTOOT
Ok Mr. Perfect if Allah can forgive a man who killed 100 people...who can come btw Allah and His slave...nway am not justifying Zina Audhubillah but as a Muslim and I've heard a 1000 times Shaykh Assim saying do not disclose your sins to anyone...thats what am saying!!!
@@bellah09 it's just not fair if you chased your desires and now want to lie about not actually doing it. the people of knowledge tell you to hide your sins.. well because some people are proud of it and even boast. but, that doesn't mean you have as much fun as you can have with a chad, let him do anything he wants to you, then marry the safe choice(a pure innocent man)..