Funny Joke: God created the first dog and said
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- čas přidán 30. 04. 2021
- Funny Joke from: jokesoftheday.com
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On the first day, God created the first dog and said,…
“Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.”
“For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”
The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the first monkey and said,…
“Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh.”
“For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”
The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?”
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the first cow and said,…
“You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family.”
“For this, I will give you a lifespan of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said,…
“Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life.”
“For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”
But man said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back. That makes eighty years, okay?”
“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.
For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family.
For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.
And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣
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So that is the meaning of life! Now I know.
And then God created the Chihuahua. He immediately realized he had a design problem: not enough room for eyes AND brains...
A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him that all of his life he's felt as though he was a dog! When did this start, asked the shrink? The guy replies, "Ever since I was a puppy.!"
so the psychiatrist says you better get up on the couch to which the man replied "Oooh, I cant do that I'm not allowed on the furniture".
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doc asks the patient what the problem is.
"Well, it's kind of a long story."
"Alright, start at the beginning."
"In the beginning I created the heavens and the earth."
Now that's a good joke. better than to one featured!
@@robhendrikx2198That's a funny joke no matter what your belief is. Good one! LOL.
Hmmm... I've never really looked at Creation and life like this. 🤔
But, it certainly does explain a few things! 😉
At first i thot it was an unaxperianced trumpet player for some reason. Now i see it is indeed lauphter
I must be soooooooooo tird. But i just get antios at night ya know? Thats why im on my phone.
“Get off my lawn…!”
A dog walks into a tavern and says, "I can't see a thing, I'll open this one."
Sumer circa 1894 to 1800 B.C.E
I didn't see that coming! What a great way to start the weekend! Thanks for this one!
Yes, I live that life. Well not barking grousing even when no one there.
Funny as hell and absolutely right on
Thanks for the explanation. I was a philosophy major, but this piece of wisdom should have been included in the curriculum.
Okay life makes sense now. LOL
Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. (No - really!) ...
VERY good !!!
Except Adam lived almost 1,000 years. Look it up!
Life is the time you spend and what you do with it between cutting your first tooth and losing your last one
I'm not sure, I think I would have bargained for just 18 years.
😂 mint 👍🏽
You nailed it!
How true!
Lol. Good one. ✌️
God said to the first dog “Go forth and scatter your poops”
I’ll take the dogs life thank you.
They try so hard to never leave you. Dogs are our angels.
I Love this! Thank you! ❤😅
Excellent
Awesome
Be careful what you wish for...:)
At the count of 3, let's all laugh. 1 -- 2 ....haha, couldn't wait.
I ENJOYED THAT ONE. all of your jokes are good, but that was a good one
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed! :)
Outstanding 🐶
That was hilarious, Im still laughing !
Very good
The animals were all created before humans, they should have accepted their offer and convinced God not to bother with the humans!
That was good
FUNNY STUFF!!!!!!
Oh dear!
Proof that god does have a sense of humor.
Maybe god heard that joke and struck the guy who told it with a lightning bolt
😆😆
By the way it's not a joke but the real meaning of life 😇
Haha yeah perhaps. 😁🙃😆
That is poignantly profound. I'm in the monkey stage but have no grandchildren to entertain. I hope I get them before I'm barking at everybody.
The nearest thing to GOD is a DOG Thank You Amen 🙏.
👍👍👍👍👍
Well it is god spelled backwards !
I heard the same style of joke except it was regarding the sex life. The monkey was given a 20 year normal sex life but only wanted 10 so man asked for the other ten. The lion was given a 20 year normal sex life but also only wanted 10 so again man asked for the difference. Then god gave the donkey a 20 year normal sex life but like the monkey and lion he only wanted 10. Once again man greedily requested to have the other 10. That's why to this day man has a 20 year normal sex life, 10 years of monkeying around, 10 years of lion about it, and 10 years of making an ass out of himself.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dog in Hebrew is Ka-lev wich means only and all heart ! Only in old Hebrew we learn the deep meaning of life
Not sure about that. In English, D-o-g is G-o-d backwards, and they demonstrate what true love really is every day they live. That, to me, is the most fitting thing we can name such a companion.
@@obriets that is indeed a funny coincidence! It is in Hebrew that I find so many of these coincidences that I am convinced that it is no longer that ! It really is eye opening and it enlightens how all is connected and how deep creation really is
If that isn’t the truth I never heard it, I’am at the granddads time and loving it,feed them candy and ice cream spoil them and send them back home ❤️
Could be what makes us want to piss on politicians and bite the mailman.. :)
Yep, a grandparents job, grandkids all revved up on sugar.
Cute! I'm in my last 10. When do I get to sit on my porch and bark at everyone?! 👿
Me, too. I wait on my porch, everyday, and yell at the mailman for bringing me someone elses mail!
With minor adjustments I heard this joke performed by Redd Fox. At least 50 years ago.
I had to listen to it twice so I could remember it all to share with others.
Brilliant
Love it 😂
😆
Aww. That's so sweet.
Funny but true
Be careful what you ask for, you might get it.
that there is funny
Good one
That's no joke. With minor alterations I saw this performed as a morality play on Story Theatre 50 years ago, with Paul Soles, Paul Sills, Peter Bonerz, Bob Dishy, Melinda Dillon, Hamilton Camp, Richard Libertini, . . . . It was called "The Ages of Man", and it made a deep impact on me. Think about it for awhile.
That's funny but I took a road less traveled
I reckon so
Very clever, well done.
Joda😅
That was a good one an very true 👍🤣
Pass
It all makes sense now
fricken love it man. I am there
Thats a good one :D
You got me 🙃 😅 🤗
That about sums it all up....
Just saying....
very good
Dog man's best friend well dog spelled backwards is also man's best friend.
Absolutely...
😂👍
Dog spelled backwards is god.
So true lol!!
It totally makes sense now , I get it , no need for the book .
Since I'm an addicted God believer, I seriously take your joke as a new and authentic addendum of King James version. Lol.
James Charles version of the Bible
The font reminds me of the one from the original Nightmare on Elm Street film (1984). 😂
Know you have a reason to live.
That's cute
This is an old Albanian joke I’ve read 40 years ago but a tad different, it goes donkey , dog and monkey each 20 and man 30.
That’s why man is a man till his 30s no care in the world, 30-40 donkey toil all day , the kids need to eat, 40-50 a dog, bark all you want kids are teenagers and don’t care, 50-60 a monkey just sit there and make other people laugh at you.
God created the first dog and said, Finally I got it right!!
☺🤣‼️
God created the first dog and said: 'You've spelt me backwards.'
Man that was depressing
1:17 Man, humans are greedy, lol XD jk
Thank you, Lord for long blessed lives :)
One of my dogs, 15 years old shake her head. 😊
Wow a new bible!
Thats the longest joke ever!!
XD oh good! LOL
omg that was awesome
After my twenties were over I was ready to die
This wasn't funny at ALLLLLL it was straight valid facts!!! Very spooky but amazing at the same time, god bless everyone on here 💜 stay safe and healthy 💞 🙏💪
now I know !!!!
Wow - it is worse than it was described. These humans need a lot of care and guidance. We have a lot of work to do!
Didn't work for me.
It all changed when they were deceived by the serpent.
Yes we are the evil ?
Cute!
This is not a joke!
Dire bad humour, bring back the 70s when people were allowed to be funny.
The devil created everything well done devil.
So this is just a joke there's no actual verse in the Bible that says this?
Good. All the creatures asked the God, about their time for having the sex. Then God ordered, " you after 3 months, 6,7,8 10 12 15,18 respectively. To an animal,he gave a long time. So that animal got angry and kicked the God. While rubbing is two eyes in pain, man went and asked,",what about me?". He answered any time.