Spitters are Quitters

Sdílet
Vložit
  • čas přidán 16. 06. 2010
  • Comedy
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 567

  • @farleydbear
    @farleydbear Před 8 lety +4192

    this man voiced marty in madagascar

    • @warriorcatsfandom2799
      @warriorcatsfandom2799 Před 6 lety +39

      Um..... Your picture.... Is quite... Unique.. Or am I just dirty minded???

    • @cl759
      @cl759 Před 5 lety +22

      Soooo.. You wanted to tell us he kisses his children with that mouth, you prude you.

    • @anchyi1202
      @anchyi1202 Před 5 lety +6

      OH GOD

    • @KizWhalifa.
      @KizWhalifa. Před 4 lety +2

      thanks genius

    • @blazerix8
      @blazerix8 Před 4 lety +6

      IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

  • @oledilep
    @oledilep Před 4 lety +1435

    Half of them are grossed out, and the other half are in loving relationships. had me rolling

    • @karencamacho5219
      @karencamacho5219 Před 3 lety +5

      Had me lmao

    • @apb38
      @apb38 Před 3 lety +13

      Funny cause its true.

    • @sabinevandaele4175
      @sabinevandaele4175 Před 2 lety +21

      i'm also in a loving relationship first time i swallowed he could'nt believe , 65 , becoming so old and first time a woman does that better late than never

    • @200130769
      @200130769 Před 2 lety +1

      That was the cherry on top lmao

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino Před 2 lety +2

      @@sabinevandaele4175 damn thats a good girl he got 😮‍💨 🤧

  • @JarellLavender89
    @JarellLavender89 Před 4 lety +2921

    Hard to leave a girl that can swallow and cook

    • @Niggato420
      @Niggato420 Před 4 lety +149

      Facts . And she got her own console so y'all could play duos together😍

    • @Moiez101
      @Moiez101 Před 4 lety +49

      @C. W's hell of a combo? My dude, that's baseline, that's basic. Every girl in a relationship better be able to do that.

    • @Moiez101
      @Moiez101 Před 4 lety +21

      @C. W's the sad reality is that many guys arent joking.

    • @Tommy_Mac
      @Tommy_Mac Před 4 lety +12

      ...and the cooking part isn't that important.

    • @jeffthevomitguy1178
      @jeffthevomitguy1178 Před 4 lety +4

      @@Moiez101 combos exist that can be both baseline and good, like fries and ketchup. Or pb&j.

  • @havesomegratitude
    @havesomegratitude Před 4 lety +1700

    Chris Rock's ability to change clothes instantly is very impressive

  • @kudosayala4943
    @kudosayala4943 Před 5 lety +1929

    Ironically enough, he was a spitter in Madagascar

  • @olemagnarnisjalkk2937
    @olemagnarnisjalkk2937 Před 4 lety +1485

    I can’t listen to this without picturing a zebra

    • @AB-gz9yb
      @AB-gz9yb Před 4 lety +2

      Ole Magnar Nisjaløkk lol same

    • @dumisanimiya3803
      @dumisanimiya3803 Před 4 lety +4

      Lool that's racist

    • @jonahs92
      @jonahs92 Před 4 lety +19

      @@dumisanimiya3803 No, it isn't lmfao. He voiced a zebra named Marty in the Madascar films. That's what "Willy Wanka The pedo" is referencing.

    • @dumisanimiya3803
      @dumisanimiya3803 Před 4 lety +11

      Lool I was joking bro i have seen Madagascar

    • @decaytred9500
      @decaytred9500 Před 4 lety +1

      Same

  • @SereneSimian
    @SereneSimian Před 2 lety +158

    Will was just mad when he found out that Jada swallows...but only for August

  • @MoTanG_0o
    @MoTanG_0o Před 5 lety +1240

    Just because he came doesn't mean you made him came 😂

  • @EricDec
    @EricDec Před 4 lety +778

    In a perfect world, this video wouldn't be in the category "Comedy". It would be in "Education".

    • @malcommeful
      @malcommeful Před 4 lety +8

      Totally agree with U.

    • @iWillWakeYouUp
      @iWillWakeYouUp Před 4 lety +12

      Should be "Gaming"

    • @AlexandreG
      @AlexandreG Před 2 lety

      True. This is exactly what we men would like to be the education for our girlfriends. But then, I got a little teenage sister, and damn, I cringe every time I think she might soon do any of this things to anyone. Idk if it's weird to be in a conflict like this or not. I mean, I'm perfectly fine with my girlfriend doing anything to me 😂

    • @dividedstatesofamerica2520
      @dividedstatesofamerica2520 Před rokem

      @@AlexandreG Just remember your mother did the same.

    • @DM-jm2cx
      @DM-jm2cx Před rokem

      Yup 😂

  • @robertkess9907
    @robertkess9907 Před 4 lety +259

    Him and Bill Burr, they never fail to deliver, never.

  • @mariahmysticx
    @mariahmysticx Před 4 lety +574

    felt so good I could read Arabic 😂😂😂😂

  • @rccrashburn
    @rccrashburn Před 10 lety +1010

    this was more true than funny.

  • @JavaChipFrappe
    @JavaChipFrappe Před 11 lety +372

    Imagining Marty from Madagascar saying this makes me laugh lol

  • @hsk8787
    @hsk8787 Před 3 lety +122

    11 years later. This mans still making people laugh

  • @elliotness9340
    @elliotness9340 Před 4 lety +753

    Ladies if you ever wondered why your man can't leave his baby momma alone well Chris just explained it to you.

    • @Shoota5269
      @Shoota5269 Před 4 lety +15

      Elliot Ness 👏🏾 “FACTS”👌🏾💯💯

    • @abbyallen1826
      @abbyallen1826 Před 4 lety +33

      It means you got a bitch instead of a man.

    • @sisamusudroka3000
      @sisamusudroka3000 Před 4 lety +47

      Lol somebody's man running back to his baby mama, i wonder who? ^^

    • @D1amond145
      @D1amond145 Před 4 lety +15

      @@abbyallen1826 lol you probably get cheated on without even knowing it

    • @abbyallen1826
      @abbyallen1826 Před 4 lety +8

      @@D1amond145 okay keep entertaining children then👋

  • @datguy9408
    @datguy9408 Před 4 lety +359

    I had me a woman like that, I still miss getting that head that makes your soul leave your body 😢

    • @jeremyarroyo360
      @jeremyarroyo360 Před 4 lety +11

      Factz

    • @CuntreeBoy
      @CuntreeBoy Před 3 lety +25

      You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

    • @bonyylast7147
      @bonyylast7147 Před 3 lety +2

      amen

    • @wadecohagan2388
      @wadecohagan2388 Před 2 lety +1

      where she at

    • @thrivin6312
      @thrivin6312 Před 2 lety +3

      fr bro I had this one puero rican chick that did ANYTHING.. I did her dirty and the bitch I got with didn't even do half the shit she did. Felt like a returned a BMW for a Kia

  • @unyieldingrage1389
    @unyieldingrage1389 Před 4 lety +134

    3:00 very nice transition 👌🏾

  • @kaukase539
    @kaukase539 Před 2 lety +22

    That Chris guy is the GOAT of Comedy

  • @-Me_
    @-Me_ Před 4 lety +202

    Not even a priest can preach this good

  • @BlackOdds
    @BlackOdds Před 4 lety +188

    Lmaoo ain’t no such things as one time in sex if we like it it’s on the menu.

  • @user-ig2xk3ht8i
    @user-ig2xk3ht8i Před 4 lety +94

    If she swallows she's a keeper

    • @Huvrkrft
      @Huvrkrft Před 4 lety +1

      S120 if Melly get out you gay

  • @curtistinemiller4646
    @curtistinemiller4646 Před 4 lety +47

    Ladies ,Your Man is Nastier than you could ever imagine.....LOL.

  • @johnogunbayo5605
    @johnogunbayo5605 Před 4 lety +65

    Just because he came don’t mean you made him come. Spittin Factssss 💯

    • @Betroid
      @Betroid Před 4 lety +1

      john ogunbayo forreal CAME TO MY SENSES

  • @EricDec
    @EricDec Před 4 lety +69

    Every single word this man said is true.

  • @briobrio6047
    @briobrio6047 Před 4 lety +40

    0:55 he damn correct ......

  • @rebeccamccoy2346
    @rebeccamccoy2346 Před 2 lety +7

    I’ve seen this many times and I’m still laughing with tears in my eyes and nose running. Will….you hit the WRONG man.

  • @nadir1378
    @nadir1378 Před 4 lety +34

    This is so on point 😂😂😂. I watch a fair bit of standup comedy and must say that Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle are on a whole different level to anyone else out there

  • @sashakrizinsky5473
    @sashakrizinsky5473 Před 3 lety +6

    This man ain't no comedian...
    He is a fucking philosopher....

  • @objectiveone1478
    @objectiveone1478 Před 4 lety +35

    Chris is the coldest to come through the comedy game!

  • @kristinaniemeyer5256
    @kristinaniemeyer5256 Před 4 lety +6

    That black and white donkey I guess zebra was fun when my kids were young this is an escape from reality love every minute moment listening to Mr. Rock also love Eddie Murphy!!!

  • @dextercarrie8131
    @dextercarrie8131 Před 5 měsíci +1

    This is actually my favourite Chris Rock comedy bit.

  • @OmegaVideoGameGod
    @OmegaVideoGameGod Před 3 lety +7

    1:00 "Since he was 12 years old" LMFAO

  • @jorgeanthony878
    @jorgeanthony878 Před 4 lety +18

    That Ending line killed me

  • @MrMancid
    @MrMancid Před rokem +5

    Always an amazing comedy by Chris Rock.

  • @sindobrandnew
    @sindobrandnew Před 5 lety +29

    0:34 She's the one spoiled everybody.

  • @coolchris478
    @coolchris478 Před 4 lety +4

    "You better get some bunk beds in this muthafuka"💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • @DesroTy
    @DesroTy Před rokem +2

    Felt so good i could read arabic 😂😂😂😂

  • @leemichael2154
    @leemichael2154 Před 3 lety +3

    This is a very clever Man who knows about how men and women roll ! Go Chris!!!!

  • @afrika117
    @afrika117 Před 4 lety +29

    THIS MANS SHIRT CHANGED COLOR

  • @delanoblanco2248
    @delanoblanco2248 Před 4 lety +10

    I love the "spitting scene" from "Madagascar" when he thought he was different😂

  • @mikejeezy06
    @mikejeezy06 Před 4 lety +6

    Just DVr’d all his old stand ups, I’m finna to laugh my ass off tomorrow afternoon 😂

  • @zacharygutshall8452
    @zacharygutshall8452 Před 2 lety +2

    Free at last!! Free at last!!!!

  • @brennancarter7721
    @brennancarter7721 Před 2 lety +9

    I love Chris Rock, a true fucking genius.

  • @gianluigicalzoni2934
    @gianluigicalzoni2934 Před 10 lety +27

    number one.. So true!

  • @thomasweeden2683
    @thomasweeden2683 Před 3 lety +6

    "Free at last, free at last!"

  • @warehousethewoodman3908
    @warehousethewoodman3908 Před 4 lety +56

    Christopher is a freak on the low...

    • @coolchris478
      @coolchris478 Před 4 lety

      All Christopher's are...💯

    • @austinkersey2445
      @austinkersey2445 Před 4 lety +1

      @@coolchris478 Christopher Lee?

    • @joshuaha7661
      @joshuaha7661 Před 3 lety +2

      Every man is. and Chris just told you he was so it ain't on the low lol

  • @robertjensen1048
    @robertjensen1048 Před 3 lety +45

    Rock gets it. He gets sexuality. He knows what both men and women and want, and he just tells it like it is.
    Both sexes would be wise to listen to this man.

  • @taiga1956
    @taiga1956 Před 4 lety +6

    The whole time I’m picturing Marty from Madagascar talking

  • @robsgarage552
    @robsgarage552 Před 5 lety +75

    Well said and so true...

  • @joshuawhitehead1016
    @joshuawhitehead1016 Před 2 lety +4

    Amen my brother, took the words right out of my mouth

  • @furyshadow9517
    @furyshadow9517 Před 4 lety +8

    Thanks for recommending this 9 years after release

  • @EndritVj
    @EndritVj Před 3 lety +8

    It felt so good I could read arabic hahahaahah

  • @user-gw5ns3is7r
    @user-gw5ns3is7r Před 4 lety +76

    Facts ! He should be a relationship mentor 😂

    • @thedieselguy
      @thedieselguy Před 3 lety +1

      Yeah then the world would become a more calm relaxed and nice place to be

  • @23StudiosSports
    @23StudiosSports Před 3 lety +2

    Free at last, free at last 🤣🤣

  • @kawaing100
    @kawaing100 Před 2 lety +3

    half the people gross out...half of them are in happy relationships

  • @ypmm53
    @ypmm53 Před 4 lety +11

    Chris has never been more accurate than this!!!

  • @arberbucpapaj
    @arberbucpapaj Před 4 lety +1

    This was GREAT!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂

  • @yobamos2158
    @yobamos2158 Před 3 lety +2

    that is just the goat of stand up comedy

  • @globalautobahn1132
    @globalautobahn1132 Před 4 lety +31

    This is He most truthful thing Chris Rock or any man has every said in publicly

    • @RJ-rp8yd
      @RJ-rp8yd Před 3 lety +2

      One of the most truthful. He's stated many facts.

  • @Paco1337
    @Paco1337 Před 4 lety +14

    Now we have Lilly Singh...What happened to us

    • @mistertaz94
      @mistertaz94 Před 4 lety +2

      the snowflakes gained power and influence and ruined things for everyone

    • @alia.1041
      @alia.1041 Před 3 lety

      We have Tosh, don’t we?

  • @SamuelHoskins
    @SamuelHoskins Před rokem

    Everything he said is one thousand percent correct 😂😂😂😂💯💯💯💯💯

  • @momoneylee
    @momoneylee Před 5 lety +21

    3:07 big facts 100 g

  • @mariaarredondo2563
    @mariaarredondo2563 Před 4 lety +1

    “ you better call that ass like girl” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @classyassmothafucka8890
    @classyassmothafucka8890 Před 4 lety +70

    Dear comment section
    Chris Rock was a thing long before Madagascar. Matter of fact, Marty the zebra isn't even the first animal he's voiced (Rodney the Guinnae Pig in Dr Dolittle)
    If the first thing you think of when you hear Chris Rock do stand-up comedy... is a talking animal... get off my CZcams. Chris Rock is a top 10 (maybe top 5) stand-up comedian of all time.
    You SHOULD think of Chris Rock when you hear Marty the Zebra... not the other way around.

    • @jodregameandtalk
      @jodregameandtalk Před 4 lety

      He is the best to me

    • @classyassmothafucka8890
      @classyassmothafucka8890 Před 4 lety

      @@jodregameandtalk
      He's up there for me
      He's on my mount rushmore
      George Carlin, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, and Louis C.K.
      Honorable mention to Jim Carey who was the best ON SCREEN comedian of all time

    • @sukhchainsingh1776
      @sukhchainsingh1776 Před 3 lety

      @@classyassmothafucka8890 how bout robin Williams

  • @mellybethwel.4077
    @mellybethwel.4077 Před 5 lety +43

    9 years ago Chris rock created memes

  • @johnnesmith246
    @johnnesmith246 Před 2 lety +2

    That funny as hell. 🤣

  • @jodymemyselfandI
    @jodymemyselfandI Před 11 měsíci

    Keep it real. Love your honesty 😮😅

  • @starrwilliams0127
    @starrwilliams0127 Před 4 lety +3

    MARTY!!!!!!!!! 🗣 lol 🦓

  • @SIMS4717
    @SIMS4717 Před 3 lety +2

    3:07 to 3:10 😂😂😂 OHHH AND THAT FACIAL EXPRESSION

  • @jr5389
    @jr5389 Před rokem

    Unbelievably Great 🎉👌🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿😎

  • @danellboy5757
    @danellboy5757 Před 4 lety +2

    The guy's a genius 🙌🏽

  • @BlakeGibbons
    @BlakeGibbons Před 2 lety +1

    God damn it that hit straight home🤣😂

  • @SubeeKarma
    @SubeeKarma Před 4 lety +1

    Comedians single handedly keeping shure in business.

  • @findlay
    @findlay Před 11 měsíci

    LOL….Genuine emotion at 3:00-3:20…”OHHHHH…..That felt so good I could read Arabic” 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @chess747
    @chess747 Před 4 lety +8

    It’s funny, because it’s true.

  • @earthman4222
    @earthman4222 Před 5 lety +10

    You said it.

  • @ss032010310103
    @ss032010310103 Před rokem +1

    Spitting facts lmao

  • @msnikke1
    @msnikke1 Před 11 lety +48

    How could you Marty?

  • @alrune8
    @alrune8 Před 3 lety +6

    Chris Rock has this amazing ability to make women completely averse to men AND other women as well.

  • @pinkxxberry4891
    @pinkxxberry4891 Před 4 lety +7

    this video spit in my face

  • @ingridredfern5065
    @ingridredfern5065 Před rokem +1

    Yep he,s spot on 👌

  • @harankarthick5589
    @harankarthick5589 Před 4 lety +3

    Pinpoint accuracy!

  • @bearlyalive9669
    @bearlyalive9669 Před 4 lety +6

    Now, Imagine a Zebra talking

  • @feisalalykhan8403
    @feisalalykhan8403 Před 2 lety +5

    CR rocks!

  • @cantho11
    @cantho11 Před 4 lety +1

    Truer words never been said.

  • @stoneesoj3055
    @stoneesoj3055 Před 4 lety +2

    Written in stone once it’s on the menu 😹 5Ever baby

  • @ryan7228
    @ryan7228 Před 5 lety +33

    ...is he the voice for Marty in Madagascar? 😂😂😂

    • @smokyking6680
      @smokyking6680 Před 5 lety +1

      Lol

    • @YXOF
      @YXOF Před 5 lety +16

      Either you're really young or so fucking late. . .

    • @ryan7228
      @ryan7228 Před 5 lety +1

      I'm 23 haha

    • @smokyking6680
      @smokyking6680 Před 5 lety

      @@YXOF Yee I just found out I'm not young

  • @emilyparr2747
    @emilyparr2747 Před 4 lety +3

    All I hear is that zebra from Madagascar

  • @Tportal20
    @Tportal20 Před 2 lety

    This guy is too funny 😁

  • @mattmarafino
    @mattmarafino Před 4 lety +31

    Is this stand up or a Ted talk

    • @thedieselguy
      @thedieselguy Před 3 lety

      This is the gods truth spitting deciple

  • @iamteamthinkbig
    @iamteamthinkbig Před 5 měsíci

    Gentleman is highly skilled!

  • @himzalvin4278
    @himzalvin4278 Před 2 lety +1

    Nobody makes a Mike drop look cool like Chris...NOBODY.

  • @bulletprooftiger1879
    @bulletprooftiger1879 Před 2 lety +5

    So true. Before a girl swallowed my sauce I didn't care what they did. Now I expect them to swallow. If course this wouldn't be a deal breaker as I'm in casual relationships. But my future wife is gonna be pushing out and swallowing babies.

  • @moeynola6747
    @moeynola6747 Před 3 lety +2

    He right 😂😂😂 get mad at our Ex girlfriends 😂

  • @N_Loco_Parenthesis
    @N_Loco_Parenthesis Před 4 lety +4

    Level 2 is mayonnaise.

  • @simnikiwehlatshaneni6765
    @simnikiwehlatshaneni6765 Před 4 lety +5

    Yeah.. Loving relationships ftw

  • @dumisatonyjohnson8145
    @dumisatonyjohnson8145 Před 4 měsíci

    Damn Marty 🦓
    😂😂😂😂😂

  • @jonasbrown1
    @jonasbrown1 Před 8 lety +281

    It's got 69 likes. That makes me happy.

  • @ThePsycheGym
    @ThePsycheGym Před 3 měsíci

    “Reading Arabic” 😂😂

  • @sazti
    @sazti Před 4 lety +4

    Hahaha I hit the mirror on the dresser from the bed