r/AITA My Sister Stole My Dead Baby's Name
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2024
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0:00 Intro
0:07 Baby name
2:42 Moving
6:36 Banned
10:21 Loyalty
13:05 Get out
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
“When a child loses their parents, they’re an orphan. When a spouse loses their lover, they’re a widow. But when a parent loses their child, there’s no word for that.” -Catherine Banfield, ER Season 15 Episode 7: Heal Thyself
Walking Dead S4E2 "Got all these widows and orphans but what do you call someone who lost a child? You'd think someone would have given that a name." says Beth to Michonne, not knowing Michonne herself has lost a son.
Vilomah was coined in 2009, or bereaved parent as a general term that most understand. So there's finally a word, but i had to look it up. It needs more recognition
Heartbroken?
I think because until recently it was the norm to lose a few children in every family before 10 or 25 that making a word for it would just make everyone depressed all the time and seem practically strange.
Sounds like a nice quote. I should look up that show sometime.
Story 1: Usually I'm on the "you don't own a name" side but this isn't about that, it's about a despicable human being with an inexplicable desire to torture OP.
Same, this is clearly a spiteful woman who saw an opportunity to kick OP when she was down and also not use any brain power and figuring out what to name her own baby.
What Claire did was very cruel. How would she have felt about OP doing the same with her if the roles were reversed? I would not have just RSVPed that I’m not coming to the baby shower, I would’ve also added that I do not consider Siobhán to be my niece, and I would be going no contact with Claire, and boycotting any family events/reunions where she will be present, as well as cutting ties with and disowning any family members that continue to support and defend Claire. OP will never be able to see her niece without being reminded of her deceased baby now.
@@morgandouglas6014 It really feels like nobody thought about this, because the one question that'll cause this all to come crashing down is: "Why do you think your mother chose that name?"
Because eventually the kid's going to find out, and find out that nobody thought that her mother using her identity as a "take that" to OP over spite was something to object to.
@@morgandouglas6014 This exactly. I think about this all the time. There's a saying for scenarios like this, even: it goes "All's fair in love and war". Claire deserves to be alone by the sound of things, imho. >.>
Yeah, before the story, I either thought the friend would think it would be a nice way to remember what the OP had lost and the OP overreacted, or the friend was being a ass and took the name to spite OP...
Apparently it was the latter.
OP from 1st story in comments says, her daughter name is both on birth and death certificate and her Urn is in the bedroom. Also Op says that her husband is very devastated, that his daughter is no longer with them.
Yeah, like yes OP's baby died, but they DID use the name Siobhan. That baby still existed and had a name. Clare is awful.
"Since you're not able to use it, I'm gonna do it first"
Girl, that's not a coupon for a free meal, that's the name of a DEAD BABY, your family in-law's !
How can you be so heartless and obnoxious??
Right, and the thing is they *did* use it. That’s their baby’s name, regardless of if she passed away or not
@@djs2182I don’t the person in question cares at all
She doesn't own the name. Maybe that's a name she wanted B4 her who knows
@@djs2182so if someone in ur family name Sara no one can use it
And how can her family support her knowing that this is the name of OPs deceased daughter? Someone should’ve pulled her aside and told her she’s being insensitive and until she gets her act together, they won’t provide support.
Brother: "my daughter slandered me. She needs to learn respect."
OP: "Did you actually say that?"
Brother: " Well, yeah."
Slander is when you LIE about someone's actions....
yup. it ain't slander if its true
Can't call it slander when it is all true
I have an identical twin. We were not allowed to be different people. If one of us screwed up separately from the other, we both got yelled at. We always had to share birthday parties and got the same presents. My brother took it out on me. Now we don't talk and hate each other.
That's horrible. It's not your fault your family decided you were the same person divided in two
i don't know why people do that , twins don't even have the same DNA, its not like if they are clones, even if they were that doesn't give them any right to yell at both parts about separate actions, it's weird.
laziness and dismissiveness sure are something.
@dinlupus3196 Yeah my parents are shit. That's why I haven't talked to my dad since 2020 and I only talk to my mom when she reaches out.
That’s child abuse and your family basically just made y’all despise each other. I would try reaching out to the brother and remind him that you are not the bad guy and that it’s your parents/family
One physical way to tell identical twins apart, is the veins in their hands. Every single person has a unique vein set up in their hands.
But yeah, I always wanted a twin. But not if I had to be the exact same person that my twin was. That sounds like a miserable growing up. I want to be my own person not be an identical half of one person.
I met a lady named Chiffon. I thought she said Siobhan, so I asked, "Is that spelled the Irish way?" and she said, "No, the fabric way."
That's a really pretty name
lol, or the 'girl group' way!
With a mother whose name is Claire and a sister whose name is Siobhan, that first story was very weird to hear.
*whose
They're probably Irish
@@thisistherevolt Not necessarily. I knew a Siobhan that was American, and several generations removed.
If this story wasn't so recent I'd be concerned for you
*3rd Story:* OP can counter Jane's pettiness with her own in two different ways. First, she can simply tell her in-laws that she'll not host any events at her place until Jane calls Amy & Nina by their individual names, putting social pressure on Jane. Second (and the even more petty route, IMO), is that OP doesn't call Jane by her proper name but rather something like "sister-in-law" or "husband's sister," i.e., returning the same energy to Jane for calling Amy & Nina "the twins."
I would be more horrible and refer to Jane as it
@@lorilancaster5917 Or as "The ♀🐶".
Story 1: Not only is that insensitive, now OP and her husband have to hear their dead child's name for the rest of their lives. That's grounds for no contact ever again IMO.
OMG! Are they going to go off on the parents of some other child that had been given the same name ..... people who are complete strangers?
@tinydancer7426 probably not its just very new and someone doing it intentionally
@@tinydancer7426 irrelevant. This is the SISTER-IN-LAW.
@@tinydancer7426Complete strangers who didn't name their kid after your dead daughter or treat you like garbage are vastly different from an obnoxious inlaw you'll have to see at every family gathering and who seems to just want to spite you.
OP needs to get the fk over herself she doesn't own the name Siobhan.
Story 3: first of all she doesn't get to decide when they get to be separate people, you told her to use their names that is not hard. Second, it is so disrespectful to refer to them only as twins, the entire family can use their names Why can't this fully capable adult? You are absolutely right to ban her from your house if she can't respect your kids or you she shouldn't be there.
And if being with the family is so important, she would most certainly have learned those little girls' names by now. By her reckoning, all kids under 10 would be called "the boy," "the girl" the kid" or "the twins". 🙄
I have young identical twin brothers and fraternal twin cousins (females) a year older than me. You can notice the difference in appearance on my cousins but people would sometimes mention “twins” in general as they are always together until they became more independent as they got older and people call them by their names as they were more apart.
As for my brothers they have some small detail difference in their appearance whether it’s a birthmark, scar, or their behavior as one is more active and the other is more quiet, but they’re identical. They always dress the same but like their own individual colors, red and blue if they want to distinguish themselves. Sometimes as I visit my parents and my brothers are running around you really can’t tell them apart sometimes until you call to one and they respond and they’ve even gotten in trouble in school a couple of times for tricking their teacher by switching their name.
For identical twins it takes longer for them to become more detached on their own but they’re always together even in school and people would often refer to them as “the twins” until you want to be specific towards one of them.
So I get the idea that OP wants the twins to be addressed differently, but they’re 6 and if they’re attached and inseparable then they do everything together as a pair.. and people will refer to them as twins until the TWINS themselves choose to be refered differently not the mom. Also I think RSlash was wrong about identifying twins, unless they’re fraternal but if they’re 100% identical and dress the same then the only ones that can tell them apart would be the parents. No one else would be able to tell them apart unless you live with them 24/7 and know them personally but to everyone else they would look the same until the parent points out the difference.
@@misaelj6307yeah except for the fact that OP in that story made it pretty clear that her set of twins were quite different from each other: different personalities, different hair styles, etc, so it wouldn't be hard to tell them apart at all, so just use their individual names! I'd get it if they were more identical, like how u described, but when they're not, and even at 6, they're their own person and it's outwardly obvious with the way they dress/do their hair, to tell them apart from each other, it's not gonna be that hard to tell the difference, and to not respect their individuality like that, when there's a clear difference, just "cause they're 6", is just being obnoxious.
@@ashh4929 This exactly. If family is such an integral core value to this woman, then why can't she learn the names of the children? Freaking Rugrats managed to tackle this issue back in the 90's, this woman has no excuse to not flipping try. I don't care for her excuse of "They're too young to know" because she's basically saying that her inability to learn is the kids' fault because "kids are stupid, lol", not hers. And it kinda highlights an important point: at what point DO kids, never mind twins, deserve to have their individuality respected? Because it sounds to me she DOESN'T intend to do just that, because she just doesn't really care about other people, in all honesty. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows? But that's the vibe I'm getting from that disrespectful woman, so I'm sticking with it for now.
My sister and I are fraternal twins not even identical and we were called ‘the twins’ since we were teens because my parents didn’t think it was a big deal that everyone referred us to that. They know now that it was wrong, but they had to wait until I was a freaking adult to realize it.
As a twin who was referred to as the twins, I hated it! I won't tell others I have a twin these days due to the disrespect.
I’m sorry you went through that. Someone shouldn’t end up resenting a sibling due to parental neglect. Being an identical twin isn’t a buy one get one free. You and your brother/sister are two different beings and should’ve been treated as such.
Question, did the school separate you and your sibling?I know when I was growing up they did trying to get students to separate them and to treat them as individuals.
@@charminglady2011yes we were never in the same class past kindergarten
@@lorilancaster5917I love my sister dearly. I just say I have a sister and a brother. I don't say I have a twin. Also, girls got creepy with me when I'd tell them.
Story 2: OP needs to stand her ground. And rethink her marriage.
I agree with story 1. As an American, I can count the number of Siobahn's I've met on one hand. The fact that the name is uncommon is just the sister-in-law giving OP the middle finger.
I’ve only heard that one person with that name and she was a comedienne on SNL
I heard the name on The nursery Nurse
The first time I ever heard that name was reading about succession
*First OP:* Claire's lack of empathy toward OP after her loss makes me worry for her daughter. OP is NTA.
*Second OP:* Lol at Truddi threatening to sue OP. OP is NTA, and I hope Truddi's husband divorces her because what the heck!?
*Third OP:* Is it _that_ hard for OP's SIL to refer to Amy and Nina by their names? Why was this the hill she wanted to unalive on? OP is NTA, and shoutout to her for not giving her daughter's rhyming names. Also, shoutout to OP's MIL for siding with OP.
*Fourth OP:* I wonder if OP's girlfriend would've been as concerned if Will weren't trans? OP is NTA.
*Fifth OP:* OP's asked OP to talk some sense into his niece, and OP did, lol. Love me some Malicious Compliance. OP is NTA.
Story one: it shocks me how the in-laws can be on board with Claire knowing that she deliberately took OPs dead child’s name “just because it sounds nice”.
Story two: OP is only and AH for letting her husband stay at her apartment. He needs to face Trudy’s mess 24/7 with no escape until he snaps and makes her adult.
Story three: I agree with you spot on! These girls prove they have their own autonomy and deserve to not be disregarded.
Story four: I think overall Nico is a horrible person and if it wasn’t Will transitioning she would find something else about him to hate. She’s mad that OP took him in even though it’s HIS house. When she couldn’t make OP cater to her, she tells on him to his mommy and daddy knowing they are the reason Will feels discriminated in his home.
Story five: I hope niece got out. Curious to know if she’s an only child?
story 2: I'd say the husband is also an AH for not backing his wife up in all this. I hope Truddi isn't the only one who's spouse divorces them
@@dragonriderabens9761 yeah I see Trudi spouse getting tired of her lazy bs and leave.
Third story: also shout out to OPs husband for backing her up too!
Forth story: you forgot to add OP's POS brother. And sense not since
Ive heard of family stealing names...but never the name of a dead baby.
OP should go to the baby shower....then call her out. not blantly but say "so...why the name?"op should get evidence of her cruelity so she cant say "oh Im doing it in memory of dead niece" but she'll likely be truthful and say "it was such a beautiful name...and its not like OP is using it"
I really hope there is an update where Claire gets called out at the baby shower and her spouse not knowing where she got the name and gives her a “come to Jesus” talk along with everyone else
Here’s an idea: If Jane insists on still calling them “The Twins,” just start calling her “The [Female Dog].” 😂
Petition for RSlash to read story's from the subreddit R/AmITheDevil, where we can just sit back and listen to story's of awful people
I would love that tbh
Sorry to be THAT person, but it's "stories". That being said, I completely agree.
I think you can tell by his takes over time that he's been reading too many stories about people being awful. I think he should read some feel-good ones more regularly.
@@matankesselman456 Agreed. Rslash is becoming more jaded, him reading ragebait would make it worse
@@Chuckf66nobody cares about grammar
Story 3: stop call8ng her Jane, instead adress her as your sister in law everytime you have to.
Improvise, adapt, and overcome.
@@Wendy_O._Koopa and be petty.
Excellent! I love it.
STORY 1: WTH is wrong with the SIL?! How evil and callus do you have to be to not only rub it in your SIL's face that she had a stillbirth (Something she had no control over, it just happened) AND steal the name of said baby as a power play?? How can someone be so heartless? What, is she going to kick over some puppies/kittens next? 4/5 on the score. That's just awful. :(
STORY 2: Trudi is living FOR FREE in an apartment. With rent being so high these days? I would be GRATEFUL if I could get a free place to live! And OP doesn't even have that big of a request, just 'Hey be cleaner please' Like, why is it so hard to keep things neat in the communal spaces? Also why isn't OP's husband backing up OP? It's HER place! 1/5 for the husband 2.5/5 for Trudi
STORY 3: Why is Jane choosing to die on this hill? Why is it such a big deal for her to just call Any and Nina, Amy and Nina? 2/5 for Jane
STORY 4: Nico sounds like a Transphobe to me. OP SHOULD 1000% protect his brother. What else would WIll do if he was sent back? Either A) Grin and bear living with his parents until he can move out, in which he might not be able to do in this economy. B) Run away from home and live on the streets OR C) Go and live with a friend. Op, I'd say have a serious 1 to 1 sit down talk with Nico where you clearly lay out the rules, and say that Will is staying with you. If she STILL fails to get that? I'd say you might want tot hink about if you want to dump her or not.
STORY 5: Ooooooooh GOD misogyny at it's best. Why do people still think like this?? LET A WOMAN BE A MECHANIC IF SHE WANTS TO FFS! 3/5 for OP's brother. This is 2024, NOT 1924. -_-
NO ONE OWNS A NAME, THEREFORE IT CANNOT BE STOLEN! SHEESH PEOPLE. STOP WITH THE "YOU STOLE THE NAME I CHOSE"!
@@tinydancer7426 okay, yes, no one owns a name, but it is very clear that this isn't that kind of situation. the SIL is doing this solely to torment OP. if you payed attention at all to the story, you'd notice that.
@@tinydancer7426 Did you not get the part about OP having a DEAD let me repeat that- DEAD baby?? I hope your a troll because im just gobsmacked at the lack of empathy your showing.
Sadly there's a 4th option Will could take in that situation and it wouldn't even be uncommon but it would be tragic. Doesn't help Nico's case that she's forcing OP to pick between her and the brother he loves. She needs to pound sand.
WTF is wrong with the OP, thinking she "owns" a name?
Story three....Just start calling Jane "The sisiter" or "My husband's sister"....If she can't be bothered to individualize Amy and Nina, then she shouldn't be individualized herself.
Or how about calling her “My husband’s sibling”
twin story- i once had two twin friends in elementary school. yeah they were fraternal so it was a bit different but honestly since they had such separate personalities they were only ever referred to as 'the twins' a couple times by teachers. all of us recognized them as separate people and they probably would've gotten annoyed if we lumped them together constantly. NTA
My eldest (who is female), always watched me, a shade tree mechanic, turn wrenches on our cars. By the time she was born, our cars were new and needed very little maintenance (oil changes and simple things, not like when I was growing up or in university where my father and I pulled engines and transmissions). She wasn't really interested in learning how to turn a wrench...until she went off to university herself and had her own car. Now she changes her own oil and does basic maintenance. I bought her a set of tools to keep in her trunk so that she has the basics to do home and auto repair. Women are just as good at turning wrenches and swinging hammers as men. (Oh, my parents built the house I grew up in with me, a toddler.)
I’m Irish and in our family we pass down names. I’m named after my great Nana and Nana. When our children were born, we passed down family names. My heart hurts for OP that her SIL would be so evil as to name her child the same as her brother and SIL’s dead daughter. They will forever hear the name and see a healthy lass responding. Now I’m a bit enraged. What a vile cow.
Oh man. Unless something major happens in story one, I’m guessing OP isn’t the asshole.
I can already tell that OP is NTA because of how the SiL is acting.
@@LunaP1Oh I was basing it on the headline
Oh, but she IS TA and needs to get the fk over herself.
Story 2, I'd have just stayed in my apartment until my husband's tolerance for living in abject filth hit the breaking point and he put his foot down. Because fuck no would I tolerate that shit. Also fuck no would I want that disgusting family ruining my apartment.
Story 4
> Doesn't want to live with a "hormonal and rebellious teenager"
> Has a 10-year-old son
Who's going to tell her?)
If Jane continued to disrespect my children by refusing to refer to their names Id call Jane "the dummy" until she did. She gets the same amount of respect as she shows my children.
Tbf Id be using a colorful C word that violates CZcamss terms and conditions but...
@@clevergray8754that's too much.
And I don't mean too evil, it's giving her too much attention. Any nickname or Slur is more than she's worth.
Just call her "that woman".
For the twins story, it's just such a dumb hill for Jane to die on. Just use their freaking names.
I don't get why people have such hangs up about hair. Even if Will in story 4 wasn't trans, having short hair is not that big of a deal. I'm a cis woman, and my hair is short because I like it that way.
Hopefully Will finds people who can support who he is rather than who they want him to be.
Today’s story theme: Respect!
Respecting the feelings of someone who suffered loss.
Respecting the place you call home.
Respecting that kids are individuals too.
Respecting a person’s identity.
Respecting women in general, apparently.
For those who didn't know, the fourth story was obviously from someone in the UK.
Clues:
1. He used the phrase Sixth Form which is how the schools work in the UK. They are Lower and Upper Sixth.
2. Since he said his brother moved from "down south" to "up north" he is probably in Liverpool, Manchester or Newcastle. He could be from Scotland but not sure they would use the same phraseology.
In the US, we have Down South (SE) and Up North (NE) too. I was thinking from somewhere like GA to NY, but in the US, you’d most like take a bus. Rail travel isn’t super popular outside of the Northeast, and we certainly don’t have Sixth Form. I don’t expect Europeans to be anti-trans, but I guess there’s racism in some parts. It shouldn’t surprise me.
If I'm being honest that's a rocking baby name even if you have no Irish heritage
Yeah but that’s not the point
@@alexthegr8estt Obviously taking The name of your Recently deceased niece is disgusting
It is a gorgeous name. We’ve a few in our family. We’re Irish though.
@madambutterfly1997 what niece? The one that was never born?
Boy you're gonna be pissed at how long my list of imaginary friends is, since you wanna gatekeep names based on something that doesn't exist😂
@@austinmavesShe(Claire) decided to rub this name for her baby On still grieving Mother.
Claire knew how the name was important and she knew What damage she will do if she use that name.
10:09 they should start referring to Jane as « husband’s sister » and see how she likes it
Last story: ah nothing ruins a family quicker than a alpha male
And apparently a wife who is a huge sheep. I really wish the story was longer so I would know whether or not niece got away.
Lol do you even know what an alpha male is?
The first story is why if and when I have children, I am not telling the name until after the birth certificate is signed and baby is here. Claire has some serious problems and I would have went little to no contact.
The name is on the birth certificate, death certificate and the urn they have in their bedroom.
The Sister doesn't care~
Story 3:Just like you say,Rslash,the most basic insult to anyone is purposely calling them anything but their correct names
3rd story: OP should start calling SIL by "Hubby's name sister". I mean, it's the truth, right? For example: Hello, Harolds sister, how are you? Harolds sister, how was your day?
Story 2: spineless and lazy, because he could have easily started cleaning up around the house but chose not to along with his daughter and grandkids. Let's be real it's not just the apartment they're going after they want you to come back and clean up after themselves, and if I were you I wouldn't even consider moving back in until the house was spotless, I'm pretty sure the two capable adults can manage that, they even have little helpers. Also don't let your husband in the apartment with the way he treated you, invite your son-in-law so he can have a break from this crap. Also not to be mean to stay at home mom's but if they're struggling for money shouldn't she also be working, or are the kid too young to go to school?
I kept trying to find their ages but couldn’t find them. I do agree that Trudi can get off her butt and work and OPs spouse can look after the kids if they aren’t school age. If they are school age they are definitely old enough to help around the house. But I don’t think OP should invite son in law to her place. Trudi and OPs spouse may try to create a case for infidelity. Also he may want to bring his kids over.
Story 3: Man…this woman is SOOOO stupid…
Simple solution here: CALLL THE GIRLS BY THEIR NAMES!!!
God NTA Op, this is ridiculous.
I’m glad everyone is on your side.
Yeah, all OP asked was basic human decency, "the twins" have their own names, address them as such
I have a very strong opinion on this. Definitely NTA. I am an identical twin myself, and hate it when the person makes no effort in trying to tell me and my twin apart. Normally I'll let it slide if they made attempts to tell us apart, but not if they just out right don't try.
Last story: I mean she's clearly not going to get any support from her father outside of Marriott successful man and learn how to take care of a baby. So I don't blame you for telling her what she to do.
Story 3 as a twin i thank you for trying to keep thier identitys
My dad is an identical twin and my uncle passed when they were 17 in a house fire. First time I saw pictures of them I was 17 myself. It took me 10 seconds to tell them apart, they were even dressed alike in the picture.
'One of the twins gave it me, the other one gave me this'
That's such a gross way of referring to people. 'one of the twins' and 'other one' have actual names.
Honestly, it deserves a public call out.
Gmornin family!
Mornin
Its 3pm at my place but wish u a good morning to 😊
Gm
I read this as grooming family 💀
Apparently it's morning, and as I live in a different timezone, Good morning to those in the morning! Good day to the rest of y'all :D
I live in the midwestern U.S. and Rslash’s videos always post right after 8am for me :)
@@alexthegr8estt Ahh! I'm from Europe and it's 3:16 PM for me :)
Good morning from New York state where it's 9:24 🎉
@alexthegr8estt for me it's at 7am when Rslash posts. 9:11am here in western Canada
Back when i was substitute teaching i had a Siobhan in one of my classes. When i approached her name during checking attendance, in the corner of my eye i could see her begin to cringe just before i called out her name. Only i pronounced it correctly and she was like "here." after she approached me and asked "how did you know how to pronounce it? Bc everyone usually butchers it." i explained i had a friend with that name, and its a pretty name.
being someone whose last name is constantly butchered in pronuciation, i try to pronounce as close as i can.
Just to clarify; so the way RSlash pronounced it was correct?
@@StealthTheFoxz the way I've pronounced it was "shuh bahn." Rhymes with autobahn.
the gf in the 4th story is DEFINITELY transphobic, that line about not wanting him around her child is a sure fire sign.
yep. girlfriend was shouting her transphobia from the roof tops
And she did say specifically "a hormonal and rebellious teenager" just saying most wouldn't specify hormonal in an argument without a little transphobia
yeah, unless Will was some sort of delinquent (which we can assume not since it's never mentioned that he is) that line is a red flag
Which is silly because being trans is similar to suicide in that it's a self-correcting issue. If you're trans, you can't procreate, so who cares? Similarly, if you off yourself, you're out of the picture, so again who cares? People need to just mind their own business.
@@hydemeBenefit of the doubt, "hormonal" wouldn't exactly be incorrect, most likely. Unless he goes with puberty blockers rather than a full T treatment...
Story 2:The fact Trudi's husband who works full-time is more helpful than a SAHM says it all,NTA
I’m a twin and my grandma would introduce us as, “these two are my daughter’s girls, they’re twins. This is *** and this is ***”
as a twin myself whose mother always made sure we were referred to by our names or “the girls” to include my little sister too, i appreciate not being called “the twins”! sometimes we were here and there but it was either as individuals or including our younger sister too! i think that’s best imo. and i’m not even identical!
I once worked at a daycare centre. I was in the four-year-old's room, and two of the girls were identical twins. They didn't dress the same and had different personalities, but for the first few weeks, I still had trouble telling them apart. But I tried. I can still tell you that Se was the more outgoing twin, and that Sk liked puzzles. They are individuals, even then. They weren't "the twins", they were Sk and Se. (Names not used for privacy - they're probably well into primary school now).
Story 4> 10 year old son, for 18 years. You think OPs stepchild would be living with him until he's 28? XD
The twin thing is SO RUDE. One of my best friends in High School is a twin, and our history teacher was such an AH that he, when calling the roll, would say “Twin 1” (which was her sister based on the first name being first alphabetically) and then say “the other one” for my friend. He never cared when they objected - people like the SIL in the story don’t change their perspective when the twin girls get older. They just get worse or more entrenched.
I have younger twin brothers. Still call them by the 'boys' from time to time, but it's expressly for when it's something related to both of them. IF one is doing something and not the other, we say their name.
I have second cousins who are twins and in my nuclear family (me and my parents) we referred to them as the twins among each other “hey, can you watch the twins for a day? We’re taking the little one and their parents out to lunch” but when in their home or talking to them we call them by their names. It could be hard because I saw them about 2 times a year and they were pretty young but it wasn’t hard to say “I’m an idiot and I forgot which one of you was wearing pink, can you tell me?” They would laugh at my stupidity and then we move on. All you have to do is try. They are separate people and deserve to be respected as themselves.
Yeah no she stole that name out of spite and just to hurt op
Sounds like husband and step fam expect a maid
1st story: Nta I bet if op did the same thing to her sister-in-law and stole her dead baby's name your family would called you out for being a heartless.
Story 3: jane should be called “ the betch “ since everyone shouldn’t bother with her name since its hard to remember her name
I would have replied, in front of the entire family "Sure, go ahead and use the name. It'll just highlight to everyone that the only way you can outdo me is by scavenging from the dead."
I'd be sorely tempted to bring tombstone cookies that say, "From our Siobhan to yours." I wouldn't because going to that baby shower would cost me more than the cookies would cost her, but still...
story 5: How these 1940s mindsets survive in 2024 will allways confuse me. Like im starting to belive it must be something in the water in some very spesific places in the world.
Because they aren't discouraged on an evolutionary stand point...
Ideologies are near impossible to kill. Unless it's part of the ideology to disappear.
Especially not if their followers can procreate and indoctrinate the next generation without consequences.
And even get voted to become country leaders.
Make America Great Again! LOL! Go back to a time when women couldn’t have credit cards in their own names, and black people drank from separate water fountains. The only people America was great for were upper-middle class white men (cis-hetero, obviously), but since that’s who holds most of the power and wealth, that’s all they care about. Those who aren’t wealthy white Christian men are deluded.
Story 1: Generally I don't think you can truly "steal" a name: names exist, one may use them however one sees fit, there's more than one Siobahn in the world. HOWEVER, Claire manages to rather pathetically admit to using it precisely because OP could not (so basically admitting she 'stole' it), and of course told her to "get over it", and is absolutely feeling a guilty conscience with that reaction to OP RSVPing no. Claire is garbage, though not truly for using the name per se, but rather her entire attitude towards everything.
Twin story:
OP: Treat my children as individuals.
Sister: I don't have to treat them as people, theyre too young so I don't have to treat them as individual people.
As a Gaelic Scot I appreciate that you looked up how to pronounce Siobhán, I know the Irish appreciate this too. OP isn’t in the wrong here at all, like who is so cruel to name their baby after someone’s very wanted child who died in the womb, saying “get over it” and “well you’re not using it”, it’s beyond disrespectful, it’s cruel, hurtful and torturous.
"Since you're not able to use it, I'm gonna do it first!"
While there's nothing wrong with wanting to use the name, but Christ, it's a name of OP's DEAD BABY! Like jesus lady, show some respect and sympathy!
Story 3: NTA. Not addressing them by their names is dehumanizing. Like they're a sideshow attraction and not human beings. If she can't respect them and your wishes and she can bite it. Glad your husband and MIL are on your side, I was expecting at least one of them to be crappy about it.
When I was younger my friend group had a set of twins in it. Even though they were identical they were never referred to as "the twins". They were always referred to by name, and anyone who ever spent any amount of time with them would eventually find it easy enough to tell them apart at a glance (even when they pretended to be each other).
Third story: I remember clearly that when I was 3 years old, I repeat, 3 YEARS OLD, I told my family that I wanted to be called by a very specific shortening of my name. If I was able to chose a specific trait of my name that has been part of my identity when I was 3 YEARS OLD, a six year old may as well want to be considered their own person. If the SIL is incapable of differenciating the girls, maybe she should get her head checked 👿
The parents in story 4 deserve WAY more than 3/5. Mistreating your own child to the point of them leaving home, out of sheer transphobia is actually evil behaviour.
Thank you! RSLASH gave the parents a lower score than the DIL who trashed her dads house
@@lorilancaster5917 for real! I don't exactly blame him for not totally getting it, it's not his fault he's privelaged, but he should definitely educate himself.
Calling the child their given name and requiring them ro wear the uniform for their sex is not mistreatment. I don't remember any beatings or deprivation or mean words mentioned.
@@mariposa9506 Lmfao what a fucking joke. "Given name"? "uniform of their sex"?? Did you just wake up after passing out in the 1800s?
@@mariposa9506 That absolutely IS abuse.
Jane’s blatant ignorance is disgusting!
Calling her twin nieces “The Twins” is like a degrading, horrible form of disrespect!
I’m almost worried that Jane would start calling the girls “Thing 1 and Thing 2”, something from The Cat in the Hat!
I HOPE that OP calls Jane “The Bitch” and gets a reaction out of her!
If Jane had NO PROBLEM with calling her twin nieces “The Twins”, the. She should have NO PROBLEM with being called “The Bitch”!
Wouldn't be surprised if Jane buys them Thing 1 and Thing 2 costumes for Halloween because thats how she genuinely views them as.
Her referring to them as “the twins” or one of them as “the other twin” sound like how you’d refer to a dog.
The thing about "rebellious teenagers", is that 9 times out of 10, they're rebelling from having their boundaries violated. You know, like with parents who can't respect your name and gender. AKA, your very identity, and the core of who you are.
The parents are the only ones respecting her name and gender
@@mariposa9506 Let me guess. You're a goood Christian, because you judge people based on your own Pride, bully LGBTQ+ people because their existence triggers your Wrath, and refuse to love thy neighbors when God makes them different from you. I'd tell you where to go, but the only person who's allowed to say if someone is going to Heaven or Hell, is God, so how about you stop trying to do His job, and try focusing on fixing your own sins instead.
Story 3: Yeah, that's literally disrespecting Amy and Nina's identities. Is Jane literally having beef with two young girls?
How would she feel if she was called "OP's Husband's Sister" or "MIL's daughter?" She'd be upset, right? Well, that's what Amy and Nina feel on the inside, but I bet Jane doesn't care
To shorten, I´d just call her "one of the in-laws".
Right? do OP’s Husband Sister like Amy and Nina?
Anyone else betting that Jane talks about equality and womens rights all while ignoring the autonomy to two nieces just because they are identical?
I feel real sorry for OP in the first story losing their child, and then having to endure the insult of another family member using the name of her dead child for her own child. Like OP's own child didn't exist for the brief life the child lived.
Twins story: I think I'd have to start calling SIL by her title so she can see how obnoxious and diminishing it is. "Hey Sister-in-law, would you like some pie?" "Pass the sale, Sister-in-law." "That's an ugly dress you're wearing, Sister-in-law." I think it would get the point across fast.
"We can't have the house just to ourselves, to make babies" says the woman trying to move in with a 10-year-old. LOL
First story: NTA. What she did tells me she has absolutely no care of emphaty for OP's situation. She is straight up cruel and no one is noticing.
Oh it's absolutely transphobia. I can say this with absolute certainty, as a trans man, the language the hopefully soon to be ex-gf is using is BLATANT transphobia
YEPPPP
I heard that sometimes look alike twins have such different personalities including their hairstyle clothing and everything that it's actually hard to tell they're even twins for real.
Random shoutout to rSlash’s editor for always doing such a great job! ♥️
Story 4:GF does have the right to decide not to move in with OP,but at the same time,OP has more rights to keep Will in HIS house,NTA
Yeah when the girlfriend in story 4 changes her stance from "we won't have room" to "I don't want him around my son" that's just transphobia. Better to have the brother around than the girlfriend I say
Brother from the third story is everything anyone can hope from a sibling. Honestly, I'm jealous and I probably won't ever have to come out to my family
That second story reminds me of a time I was watching my brother’s kids. I did at their house, and put simply, it was a sty. Dirty dishes in the sink, messy living area, kids rooms not picked up, all that stuff. After my brother came home and paid me, he texted my mom and complained how I didn’t clean any of the dishes, even though I hadn’t been the one to dirty them (to be clear, these were the dishes that were in the sink when I arrived), and how for what they were paying me, I should at least clean up. My mom shut him by telling him that he was the one who made the initial money offer, and I wasn’t there to be his maid. It shut him down very quickly.
Story 4: The gf said that she doesn't "feel comfortable" having the brother around her or her kid. It's DEFINITELY because he's trans. Op is a great guy.
Not to mention she called Will a "Hormonal, rebellious teenager". Being a trans man doesn't mean your rebellious or hormonal. I hope that OP dumps her for her transphobia.
@@doctornightshade8327in no way is Will rebellious nor hormonal. He left his parents because they wouldn’t respect him and harassed him. He’s also been very appreciative and helpful to OP. As you’ve said, Nico is transphobic and maybe she should move in with OPs parents?
@lorilancaster5917 At first I thought I had messed up in my text and thought you were upset with my comment, but yes I absolutely agree that Nico should move in with OPS parents. I bet they'd be thrilled to have her around
The problem in the first story is not the sister "stealing" the name but her telling Op to get over her baby's death and her weird behaviour towards her brother!!
Story4 NtA. Supporting a sibling in a time of crisis is not a bad trait. The girlfriend should see the situation for what it is and be happy she has a boyfriend who would never throw his sibling out on the streets.
*Whoahhhhh ... she had the audacity to make implications involving her child. That is not a woman you want around your family if she's throwing out hypothetical false accusations. Someone like that is very likely to push those accusations further if she doesn't get her way. I would cut contact with her immediately
As a twin story 3 brought back so many memories of people who just didn’t want to make the effort
Story 4: I appreciate RSlash saying the word “deadnaming” instead of actually deadnaming the kid like OP did. Kudos.
Other narrators on this story used the dead name too so all disagreements I have at times with RSLASH aside, he did a bang up job with this. Now to be annoying, I think he should’ve given the parents a higher AH score
@@lorilancaster5917rslash a-hole ranking system is so inconsistent lol he says “I only give 5 stars 2 the worse ppl” then cover a story with the WORSE OP ever & only gives the person 3.5 at most LOL I take his ranking with a HUGE grain of salt
I know Op shouldn’t claim names and no one can use that name because that’s selfish, but in this situation I feel like it’s justified. How heartless you haft to be to use the name of a dead baby, and say “since you’re not able to use it, I’m gonna do it first”.
My heart is shattered for OP in the first story. I hope they go NC, or literally anyone else has the balls to call her SIL out on that cruelty
How on earth can that woman refuse to understand how absolutely traumatic it is to deliver a dead baby?
Good morning, party people
Start calling Jane "woman" absolutely generic or even better "person" don't say her name she should introduce her as "the thing"
I had to calm myself down when she said “over nothing”. I actually shouted “OVER NOTHING?!” Because it’s hard to comprehend that level of cruelty
I was just watching an old r slash video when I got the notification of this one 😂
For the trans kid story correction it would be 8 years not 18 years
Story 4: OP, you’re a great big brother and Will sounds like a good kid
The twins one. I’m glad OP’s husband and MIL are sensible people.
Man I love starting my mornings with Rslash!!! Its always some tea for my morning coffee