Divorce Due to Sexless Marriage | Sexless Marriage Advice for Men
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 25. 07. 2024
- Divorce Due to Sexless Marriage and Sexless Marriage Advice for Men. Today I am chatting about divorce due to sexless marriage. It happens -being in a sexless relationship. I have a whole playlist on sexless marriage advice for men. If you are in a sexless relationships and getting a divorce due to lack of intimacy this video is for you.
Ask yourself - Should I Leave My Sexless Marriage? Can I re-ignite the spark with my frustrated spouse? Check out the Re-ignite Passion Cheetsheet below.
REGINITE PASSION CHEETSHEET
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mailchi.mp/theparentingprogra...
Key Moments in this Episode
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00:00 Intro & Summary
00:40 Deciding do you want a sexless relationship
02:46 Is the past coming out?
04:19 Should I Leave My Sexless Marriage STORYTIME
06:13 QOTD
06:24 Judgement about lack of intimacy
07:58 Re-ignite Passion Cheetsheet
WHAT TO WATCH NEXT:
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Sexless Marriage Advice for Men | More đ„ Soon
âą Sexless Marriage Advic...
Subtle Signs Your Marriage will End in Divorce
âą Subtle Signs Your Marr...
10 Minute Positive Masculine Affirmations - Guided Meditation (perfect for working out!)
âą 10 Minute Positive Mas...
My Wife Wants a Divorce Out of the Blue | Now What?
âą My Wife Wants a Divorc...
How to Rebuild Attraction With Your Spouse in Marriage
âą How to Rebuild Attract...
MASCULINE RE-MASTERED MASTERCLASS
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mailchi.mp/766b92532c60/khe4e...
ABOUT JEREMY ROADRUCK
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Jeremy Roadruck is a father, husband, speaker, author, and coach. He has master training in NeuroLinguisting Programming (NLP), Hypnotherapy, and 25 years of personal development working with men, women and families. As a 6th degree black belt, Jeremy brings Ancient Chinese Wisdom to his coaching. Jeremy hopes these videos will help you understand whatâs going on in your body, mind, and heart. By using the tools on this CZcams channel you now have the tools to go after the life you want & how to break the chains of the past. Its time to feel more confident, have greater clarity, less stress, and create the BS - the belief systems - to go after the life and love you desire.
Game on Yo!
Jeremy Roadruck
www.jeremyroadruck.com
Free Facebook Group to Continue the Discussion:
â / winwinparenting
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Personally I don't think it is possible to truly "reignite" the passion in these situations. The fact that it wasn't there in the first place will always be floating around in the background.
it's definitely a case-by-case basis, but reignition is totally possible - I've helped facilitate - requires forgiveness and healing, ownership, often a polarity shift and a decision to heal forward, together. If a couple can commit to getting results instead of being "right" - or, focus on WHAT is right for them as a couple MORE than WHO is right... totally possibly to make that shift. And, it's even possible sometimes for one partner to shift towards healing individually and as a couple, and then their partner starts to respond/resonate with the shift in their partner. Key is in understanding certainty vs. flexibility. Certainty ultimately wins, flexibility controls the system... if you can be both certain in results AND flexible in approach, totally possible to shift the past. Thanks for the thoughts, John - appreciate you taking the time to comment. :)
Actually studies have already shown that those wait till marriage have higher success rate than those who dont and even more than those who cohabutate.
Same. I believe it took me too long to even stop trying to be intimate and it destroyed my mental health and sanity. Now that it's been 6-7 years (i don't even know anymore for sure), I,m in a much better place. I let go of anger and resentment, no more rage and stress due to constant rejection and fear. Got my own bedroom for my rest! Best place our marriage has been in so far!
@@JeremyRoadruck Is that even worth all this effort? There's a reason it died in the first place and seems like a ton of work for very little reward.
@@ElimEx1 depends on the couple, depends on what their marriage is worth to them, depends on the reasons for things to be the way they are... unresolved wounds? Get them resolved. Holding on to old resentments? Get them healed. Ownership if our own stuff, of our impact on our partner is a big hinge that can swing the door in a new direction.
9 yrs sexless. Tried to communicate and didnât get me anywhere. After a while stopped caring than just separated and going through divorce. But way happier now. True words either fix it, end it but donât put up with it.
Sorry that's been your experience... can fix if either partner wants to be "right" MORE than they want to be love/loving.
You cant neogate attraction, if shes constantly refects just leave. Why only men required to do their duties regardless
it's not about "negotiating attraction" - it's ultimately about a man owning himself and not "needing" his woman - he has to WANT her, crave her, desire her AND go after his vision, live his values... not either-or... both/and! So many guys lose sight of who he was, and how she reacted to him over time... life happens, if we let it. Or it stays an adventure... but bills, kids, cleaning, chores, cooking... all the "have to" suck the life and love and passion out of us... PLUS his ideas of what it means to be husband and her ideas of what it means to be a husband. So few couples really dig into who, what, how, and why with each other and so when life happens, they get caught up in the flow. And the only type of fish that goes with the flow, is a dead one. Living fish swim against the current, not merely ride it out and hope/pray for the best.
This was a really good video. 5 yrs sexless. First court hearing next month
Sorry to hear/read... hope things get better for you
I love that you keep expanding on this topic.
It's definitely something I experienced in a previous relationship, but absolutely NOT in current marriage! I'm a lucky guy, I KNOW!
Good honest advice, much appreciated.
thank you - glad in landed for you! what stood out the most for you?
One piece of advice: do not follow the whole "no sex before marriage" bit. Personally I agree with the approach in my value system and I do think it's better for society as a whole if people follow it. BUT you can get yourself into a jackpot where no intimacy can be masked by the whole "not until we're married" bit and then to your horror, you find out nothing changes after marriages because that was an excuse to cover for the person not wanting that in their life.
you definitely raise an important point - about aligning vision and values. Being sexual, knowing likes adn dislikes, is critical to long-term success. I've been with virgins and with more experienced women - and, all things being equal, I always MUCH PREFERRED the more experienced women. They knew what they liked, could voice their preferences instead of trying to people-please and "grin and bear" what they didn't like, insecure, unsure, hesitant... nerf THAT! Gimmie a woman who's a freak in the sheets, yo!
Super important to get clear on needs, wants, dreams, goals, desires, love to give/love to receive, musts, must-nevers (aka deal killers) - with total honesty. Again, thanks for the thoughts and the comment. You rock.
Studies have shown people wait till they are married are less likely to divorce and on the whole happier.
@@JeremyRoadruck countless studies have shown the more promiscuous you are before marriage the higher the chance of divorce.
It's a huge mistake not to sleep with as many people as possible before marriage. Odds are, you will end up with someone you are not compatible with and be miserable all your life in that area. Compatibility and skills can't be learned. It's innate.
Iâm the female version of this. Iâm 31 and my husband is 45 and we have been married for over 5 years and sex has always been bad, 12-14 times the first year, 10 times most of years and this year 6 times and havenât have any sex in 3 months. Iâm just hurt, I feel neglected and lonely. I have to him many times I want a divorce and he always blames me for the lack of sex because I bringing it up and because I said I want to divorce. But really, what options do I really have??
I'm sorry you two find yourselves in such a situation... I've heard this so many times from women. Trying to "spark"' their husbands into action and things just going nowhere.
What I can tell you is that EITHER of you making the other wrong will NOT help the situation - fault, blame, guilt, or shame directed at yourselves or thrown at your partner just keeps you both locked in pain and misery. Doesn't mean there should be no guidelines or no accountability, just means you both gotta plan new games with each other.
Check out www.leadlikeaking.com/hack-pack - I put together a bundle of two courses and several guides and reports to help women in your situation to "hack" their husbands into new ways to engage with each other. If you check it out, let me know how it "lands"' for you.
Married for 18 year , last 7 years with no sex , I told her to go to the doctor to see if something is wrong and she didnât want to, I done I am 54 and is my life , I am like roommate I good only for pay the mortgageâŠ. I ready for divorce⊠you have only one life âŠlive it
@watchmanexpert - that's definitely a difficult place to be in. For some reason, she's resistant - any ideas as to why things fizzled over the last 7 years? Something dramatic, or a gradual decline?
@@JeremyRoadruck at the beginning of the marriage we have sex twice at month, after few years , once at month, after few more years twice at year only and 7 years ago cero ⊠she said is the menopause but she didnât want to go to the doctor ⊠and if I wants to masturbate she got upset đ she says is disgusting ⊠I done with this , I think she is asexual person .
@watchmanexpert sexuality is definitely a messy creature at times... changing hormone levels, unresolved existential wounds around guilt and shame, how "good girls" and "good boys" are supposed to act, unresolved expectations between partners... 2x a month as a baseline and then slowly faded suggests something either existentially unresolved or decreasing hormones - definitely helpful to have a blood panel drawn. If she's unwilling to explore this side of your relationship together, unwilling to see how being physical enriches you as a husband, AND she makes you wrong for self-gratification... definitely a difficult game to win with her and exit might be the most humane thing for you both.
I'm not pro- or anti- divorce... I'm more right tool for the right job... Sorry you're in such a situation. And, as you exit, the danger is her weaponizing the end of your relationship so having some tact and both strategic and tactical coverage can be useful. If y'all aren't great at communicating - a divorce WON'T magically make that all better. Generally quite the opposite. If you'd like some support, I've got some open time in my schedule.
Man me and my wife is doing same shit too
Sorry to hear that, might have some strategies that could help... let's grab 15 minutes, see what shakes loose.
Thatâs every man in a marriage, I was even told through a therapist that you shouldnât expose your most inner feelings of self or she would use it against you!
nah, that's dysfunctional advice. If either partner can't share their feelings or self, that needs to be addressed. If EITHER partner is weaponizing what is shared, there's issues there to be resolved. Holding back hurts things long-term. Communication is TOTALLY a skill, and realizing what to share, when, and how much takes some wisdom to figure out.
Guys, to hell with those who judge u, get the hell out of that horrible marriage!
not sure who you're suggesting is judging - and definitely, if things can't be improved, no reason to stay in something that's not serving both partners. However, there's a LOT that can be done to improve a relationship or marriage - it's not so simple as I don't get my needs met, I leave. BOTH partners should be digging into whatever is preventing them from being their best selves for themselves AND for/with their partner.
There's only one thing a sexless marriage needs to be met with and that's divorce papers, I signed up for a spouse, not a roommate!
that's one way to approach it sure... but kids involved, been together a long time, the sexlessness just kinda grew over time... what would be reasonable to recover the passion...? There's a LOT of factors to consider - simply saying exit is a big step for most ppl.
This is why I key in on 5 to Thrive with my clients - single men OR couples - define what helps you to thrive so you both can give and receive at the highest levels and co-create something EPIC!
listened to it Jeremy but its not really relevant to my situation we don't have any trauma to deal with this is purely hormonal and could be dealt with if she was willing but is adament she will not take HRT in any shape or form l don't want a divorce l love her and we have been through a lot together as a couple l explain to her men are wired different we need the physical closeness to cement the relationship physically mentally and spiritually when this is denied we start to withdraw emotionally start to make time for our own interests outside of the marriage seeing friends more going out on our own taking up a new hobby or pastime.Then their is the resentment that starts to grow because she has it in her power to do something about it but won't .She says she misses sex is feeling depressed about it all and feels bad for me and misses me cuddling her well we'll see how much she wants our marriage in the next few months because if my sex drive was off l would do something about it and would take TRT in an instant so my wifes needs are met
I hear ya... I covered the effects of a sexless marriage on men (for ladies to understand) here: czcams.com/video/x60dwsr3zEY/video.html
Thing is, your wife has some level of BS (belief system) that's limiting what's possibly for her... chances are, she's running a pattern of "should" - expecting you to show up a certain way, being understanding of where she is physically and emotionally, AND expectations on herself... and when her expectations aren't met, her "shoulds" aren't matched, she withdraws just like you are withdrawing too. It's a natural reaction to feeling rejected...
So, the question becomes - does she want to be right, or get results? Is she willing to "'stick to her guns" and NOT get help with what she's thinking/feeling and how she's acting - and the cost of her marriage to you, OR.... is she willing to ask some different questions, not because anyone is wrong, or misbehaving... but because she wants to feel close to you again? That's kinda the crux of the conversations between the two of you. If she feels judged by you about what's going on, she's going to shut down because she'll feel that you're not safe. If you're coming to the conversation from an "I'm right" attitude, again, can make it hard for her to feel safe, seen, heard, respected, treasured... I get your frustration, and there are ways to unpack the conversation, but it requires delicate handling.
She might be screwing someone else