Video

@mema0005 dude - sorry to hear things fell apart. How are you holding up these days?

types the anonymous keyboard warrior... vs the results my clients get sometimes in as little as 24 hours. c'est la vie.

Everyone s gonna be alone when they are old. 😅

@Astrolovescrypto - sorry you're in the shituation you're in - sexless marriages are never fun. Check out this playlist - I hit on this question from multiple angles - rebuilding attraction, stop over giving, bringing back intimacy, handling stonewalling and more... czcams.com/play/PL1dWJck2Z_2YN3sBQr3y27rmuXU-E3aFn.html&si=quOw1O3AXBQxQtPy Unfortunately, a lack of sex can stem from a variety of courses/causes - the feminine heart, mind, and body is not simply as do XYZ and she will bend over PDQ... there's social intimacy, mental intimacy, emotional intimacy BEFORE physical intimacy... lotta layers to work through, unfortunately.

ouch!

huh?

@BrianMolstad unfortunately, like it's more complex than that... humans are social creatures, so there's a drive to pair-bond. Marriage actually helps men live better quality lives and longer. As for what, how, why a relationship goes sexless... there's a lot of factors. To simply cut and run at the first sign of trouble is revealing of a person's character

@@JeremyRoadruck 50% divorce rate plus probably most of the "good marriages" never make it past the "C minus" level. Exiting is horribly $$$. I will pass.

@BrianMolstad 10 divorced dads a day end their lives in the US - so exiting can mean loss of time/access with kids, being cut off from legacy, losing his sense of self-worth or identity. Unmarried men - widowed, divorced, or never married - are 250% more likely to die from any and all causes as compared to same-age, married peers... especially in his 60s, 70s, and 80s. Avoiding marriage due to the opinions of wounded, bitter people is about as intelligent as avoiding exercise because fat guys say it's uncomfortable and difficult. Marriage to the right person for you can amplify everything good in your life... and married to the wrong person can amplify all the pain and misery. If only there was some kind of roadmap to help figure out HOW to be your best self, and THEN go find a partner who delights your soul and things you are the greatest gift in their lives. They exist - but just walking into them is a rarity. I get where you're coming from - rather than risk, easier to just shut off, cut off, ignore, play small, be less, do less, have less... it's safer. Saves you money, headache, heartache. But imagine if you could be with someone that lights you up, naturally. And you light her up, equally as naturally. And you're both thinking, feeling, believing, and know that YOU are getting the better side of the deal, and you have no real idea why they love you, but they seem to. Every doubt, fear, insecurity... they simply walk though, lovingly, easily, almost effortlessly and all you have to do is just accept them. And they feel the same way about you... being in a marriage like that - it's THE greatest feeling in the world. It took time, effort, energy, money to learn to be the way I am now, and the woman I pulled is THE exact partner for life and love, better than I ever could have imagined. We both had painful relationships in our past - and we both appreciate each other to the moon and back. That's why I coach and offer strategies to help others feel this way with each other. So, thanks for the perspective, and thanks for commenting. I hope you find your ideal situation - solo, or with someone. Whatever you're looking for, you'll eventually find.

@@JeremyRoadruck One can enjoy what little modern marriage has to offer with one date/week and two separate dwellings. One can have kids later in life without a woman; this no risk of family court. One*s first goal is mastering a worthwhile profession/trade. Then financial independence and competence in finances, then other things like children. I am old enough to remember when the vast majority of marriages were actually worthwhile. You have to call it like it is, and adapt. That*s just how it is.

@BrianMolstad who's this "one" you're writing about? There's no need for a rhetorical device. Just you and me chatting by text, ya? So, by "one should" you mean you should, right? And, if you have a specific, preferred sequence to your life before marriage, all good. Different strokes for different folks. As for modern marriage, whatever that is, if you're not married, you're projecting. If you are or were married but still bitter, then still wounded. One marriage isn't all marriages - aka correlation isn't causation. It is difficult to "have" kids without a woman unless you mean foster or adopt.

@ray6659 true that. Everyone had to decide the line for themselves

Thank YOU!

uum.... I _think_ your comment is well intentioned, so thank you for supporting guys - they definitely need more than they are getting. However, correlation isn't causation - meaning, just become something is related (aka correlated) doesn't automatically drive to some specific meaning, result, or outcome (the causation). A person who has been molested isn't automatically an empty shell as they may have done the deep, inner work to find resolution and release from the past. That's kinda the end-goal of therapy, counseling, integrative work in the first place. We are not necessarily our experiences. I'm sorry you had a bad experience in dating/relationships - getting our existential wounds addressed is absolutely necessary work, 100% agree with you there.

1) Breathe - get out of reacting and start responding. 2) Take the emotion out and start creating open loops. Get curious - what is the emotion behind or underneath her words and actions? You have to be centered, calm, cool, collected and OUT of playing with fault, blame, guilt, or shame. the specifics of next steps flow from these first two - what is she doing (or not doing)? In her actions (or lack of actions), she's communicating more than you might realize.

@robc8796 that's rough, man. Why stay? 100% you're putting your self-worth into her validation of you (or, in this case, lack thereof)... truth is, your worth is 100% in YOUR hands. The Sun shines because the Sun knows it's nature, not because of the action or reaction of the Earth. If you're being rejected this hard... most likely, it's not something you did or didn't do - this is 100% about her and her unresolved wounds. Can you exit this situation?

@danmurray1199 - sometimes, correlation isn't always causation. Emotions can shift moment by moment, situation by situation... it's really important to look at the overall trendline of interactions... drawing closer over time, or drawing further apart? As I stated, sex is kinda like a canary in a coal mine - it can be a barometer of overall health and vitality in an intimate relationship or marriage. If there's no sex, or it's few and far between... that can mean a lot of things... The challenge with emotions is that love and hate are very often opposites in passion, and for some people they think that playing in those two extremes can be "healthy" - or making their partner jealous is "healthy" ... lack of alignment, resistance, unwillingness to focus on team... those nerf even the best intentioned of people.

I "get" where you're coming from, but that's not great advice. The challenge is adults operating in positional authority (aka "because I said so") more than influential leadership (aka aligning vision and values). Building a relationship, especially with a kid who might not trust you or want you around or not fully understand why their parent's relationship feel apart so their naturally defensive is absolutely a delicate process, but it can be done. Key is getting into the roots of our own anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt so we can be aware of our impact, needs, wants, doubts, drives, etc... Wrote the only parenting book with a money back guarantee to HELP blended families... www.leadlikeaking.com/lm/your-best-child-ever-signed-copy/

"you can be the problem no matter what" <-- that statement is looking for a place to put the blame, the fault... it's still finger pointing. If there is a problem, then there is also an opportunity for change and growth, too. Raise standards. Step in. Step out. There's no "right" or "wrong" until you have a place you're going towards, a goal, a compelling future, a place to reach... once you know where you want to go, then you can figure out if that's together or separately. For some people, they have a problem with every possible solution. For other people, they have a solution for every problem. Which one do YOU want to hang out with? Which one do YOU want to be? I'm sorry that you're in the thick of it with your wife. That's a total shituation. :( I'm a solutions guy - much more interested in WHAT is right than WHO is right... happy to make time to chat, see if there's a way I could help you get some clarity and forward movement in your life. The one thing you can never get back is your time. And, in my experience, life is too short for bad food, or bad marriages.

Honestly I'm not tryna blame no one. If my relationship turning around means I have to be wrong I will be. I'm just tired of researching everything and trying everything and getting nothing from it.

@hardythomas21 - if the DIY approach isn't working, time to get coaching, mentorship, guidance 1:1 or in a small group to make progress... that, or realize this isn't a winnable game/situation and exit as cleanly, carefully, and respectfully as possible. Sounds like you're not ready to give up, you want things better - so if you haven't definitely look into some form of coaching or mentorship.

@hardythomas21 - that's essentially being a "Bob" like I mentioned around 5:42 in this clip. You taking things completely off her plate runs the risk of turning you into a doormat and her servant - there's ZERO accountability or need/drive in her to show up and differently than she is already. You placate, you please, you are essentially emasculating yourself in an effort to "earn" the right to love and affection. That makes your relationship completely transactional and she's not interested in connecting with you in that place. You've got to get 100% clear on what you dream, desire, need, and want - plus your musts and mustnevers... on yourself, and in your relationship. If you're not 100% clear on what you want, you'll NEVER get there... it's like saying "don't run" doesn't automatically mean "walk" - sprinting is also a "don't run," stopping is a "don't run," cartwheels are a "don't run".... walk is walk, don't run is a WORLD of potential ways of moving... So you gotta get clear on what you want, first. THEN we can figure how HOW to get to WHAT you want. Makes sense?

I understand what you're saying and my goal is to be in a relationship where both people are happy. But I feel I've tried everything on my end. But get nothing in return. I let her know how I feel and ask her what she thinks and is everything ok and she literally just say yes everything is good/cool and she don't know why I'm always tripping.

@hardythomas21 - if you're not getting your needs met, that's not tripping - that's speaking up. However, if you ask her "what she thinks"... that might be part of your problem. Is she more of a conceptual learner and communicator - like, talks about what she thinks, about things needing to make sense type language... or does it need to sound right to her? OR look good for her? Or feel right for her? Words very much reveal how we function inside - "think" is conceptual - and she can THINK one way, but FEEL a completely different way. If everything is cool, then let me put my hand upon your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip together... if she's not feeling that... then you definitely need a different approach

@bigboy11271 - sorry that's been your experience of marriage, why stay?

Best start for yourself is to stop 'playing the game'. Also not go shopping together, no vacations, no family visits, no restaurants, etc. No perks for her. Tell her in her face you are going to have sex elsewhere plus do your own things.

@Billy-the-Kind That sets up a bad situation if/when things to go court. Guy I talked to last year with an estranged marriage decided against coaching with me and he'd "figure it out" - 18 months later, he's out $70K - blew through 3 kid's college funds, all his savings, and STILL not finished/settled with his soon to be ex. She doesn't want to work and is fighting him tooth and nail...could have been SO different if he'd handled things differently. They're in a protracted war and getting nowhere but broke.

@@JeremyRoadruck So you'd say he should accept that BS? I'd say no way.

@@Billy-the-Kid no, I commented to him, "sorry that's been your experience of marriage, why stay?" and he hasn't replied to that. I'm not going to project, mindread or jump to a conclusion on his situation. He can decide to accept this, that's one choice among many. It sounds like he's already not accepting it and is already detaching emotionally. You stated he should not have any kind of relationship with his current wife and tell her that he's going to cheat on her. That's NOT a great strategy to either rekindle things or leave his marriage intelligently. That course of action will tend to drive her from whatever she's doing now to actively plotting/planning to put herself in the strongest possible position should they divorce. It's like not agreeing to a fight - difficult to claim self-defense after the fact if you consented prior to any acts of violence. The BEST thing he can do is get clear on what HE actually wants for himself, something I call the Five to Thrive. Once he knows what type of things would make HIM thrive in a relationship, he can decide if it's worth engaging with her in a way for them to grow together again, or if it's more realistic/reasonable to end this marriage and go find a relationship that would actually delight him. Start with the end in mind, then work backwards to where he is currently.

?

@watchmanexpert - that's definitely a difficult place to be in. For some reason, she's resistant - any ideas as to why things fizzled over the last 7 years? Something dramatic, or a gradual decline?

@@JeremyRoadruck at the beginning of the marriage we have sex twice at month, after few years , once at month, after few more years twice at year only and 7 years ago cero … she said is the menopause but she didn’t want to go to the doctor … and if I wants to masturbate she got upset 😠 she says is disgusting … I done with this , I think she is asexual person .

@watchmanexpert sexuality is definitely a messy creature at times... changing hormone levels, unresolved existential wounds around guilt and shame, how "good girls" and "good boys" are supposed to act, unresolved expectations between partners... 2x a month as a baseline and then slowly faded suggests something either existentially unresolved or decreasing hormones - definitely helpful to have a blood panel drawn. If she's unwilling to explore this side of your relationship together, unwilling to see how being physical enriches you as a husband, AND she makes you wrong for self-gratification... definitely a difficult game to win with her and exit might be the most humane thing for you both. I'm not pro- or anti- divorce... I'm more right tool for the right job... Sorry you're in such a situation. And, as you exit, the danger is her weaponizing the end of your relationship so having some tact and both strategic and tactical coverage can be useful. If y'all aren't great at communicating - a divorce WON'T magically make that all better. Generally quite the opposite. If you'd like some support, I've got some open time in my schedule.

sometimes yes, a lot of times no - thing is, from a biochemical perspective, whenever a woman has an orgasm, the dump of oxytocin she experiences drives her to "pair-bond" with whomever caused that hormone release... her husband... OR whomever she's thinking about if self-pleasuring. This biochemical addiction pair-bond thing holds generally for about 3 weeks - just enough time to find out if pregnant or not. Which helps to explain why it's sometimes hard for a woman to leave a toxic situation - she's literally, biochemically addicted to the source of her pleasure and release, so she'll turn a blind eye to mistreatment and believe 'if I love him enough, he'll truly change for me!' and that's very often NOT the case. On the flip side - even if the sex is good but she's NOT "in the mood" so she withholds... as that pattern continues, whatever spark they might have shared will flame out and then she's less and less interested in connecting on this level. One of things I help my guys and couples understand is the sequence of intimacy and how it's different for men and women. With women, getting to physical intimacy is generally step 4 - she has to be open and receptive to such an intimate form of connection, I mean - she's LITERALLY allowing the guy into her world. For guys, physical intimacy is a need, but arousal is physically more of a spinal response - bump a table right and he'll get hard and be ready for action. The build up and release is rejuvenating for him. So when she withholds, it's actually more cruel that she might realize. When I was single, I had a 2 year window of time where I received ZERO physical touch other than in martial arts or a perfunctory hand shake - not a hugger, no back rubs, no tender touch unless I paid for a professional massage (no happy endings, that's trashy to me) so I was WAY over-amped whenever any lady gave me any attention - hungry, hurting, and hunting... which is repellant to the feminine other than when she's in the same mindset. So, long story short: sex might be good but if w withholds for whatever reason, sparks fade.

What stood out for you the most?

Why are worthless comments always from someone random hiding behind a fake name? 🤣

I'm sorry that you're in this shituation - hopefully things get better for you, and sooner rather than later. How you holding up? Do you have a lawyer?

@@JeremyRoadruck yes I have lawyer we fight for the house now 🫣

@@JeremyRoadruck I and 55 … I want to be happy the rest of my life

@@watchmanexpert definitely can support that - you getting what you need to thrive? I coach on relationships, mindset, communication so know a few things, ya?

Be careful because the grass is not always greener on the other side

hopefully in a good way!

we're all worm food waiting to happen... gotta learn to enjoy ourselves! Glad it served you :)

weird "flex" some random user on a social media app... my step-son's dad is gay, but didn't fully know/own that when they were together so... whatever? I guess, thanks for sharing???

I want God’s will first.I love God and obey God first.

Him, who? Object of your sentence isn't defined.

Sorry to hear that, might have some strategies that could help... let's grab 15 minutes, see what shakes loose.

not sure where you got the idea that anyone is suggesting outside relationships, sex workers, or porn... it _can_ be a form of abuse, up to the individual to define the meaning for him- or herself. It might be personal, it might not - the denying partner may have something unresolved for them that makes sex a "bridge too far" - might need therapy, or counselling, or coaching to clear it up.. if they even feel there's a problem to be addressed. If they think they are 100% right to take sex off the table or out of the relationship.... well, divorce is an option for a reason.

the other thing to consider is this: by labeling something as abuse, is a person empowering themselves or disempowering themselves to effect changes or shifts? Could it be a misalignment in needs, wants, dreams, desires, or possibly an overattachment to doubts or fears? There's always a reason behind our actions - even if the reason is a bit wonky

that's a difficult situation, 100% no cap. When you two first got together, was she all lovey-dovey and doing all the things you wanted? Giving you love, support, empathy...? If that was there in the past, there might be a way to recover it. If yes then but not now, what changed? Was she always this wounded person and you allowed yourself to be manipulated, turning a blind eye to what didn't work for you? Whatever the past, going forward - she's using you. If you love the kids more than she does, what would it take for her to sign over parental rights to you? She can leave, you keep the kids. You're not being selfish to want to be in a relationship that's equal - she's a taker and it looks like you're trying to earn her approval. There's basically 4 levels to love - 1) take before being taken, which is totally selfish. 2) IF you do your part FIRST, then I'll do my part, AND THEN love will flow. That's essentially horse trading, which has an older name to it. The oldest profession. 3) Unconditional love - your needs are my needs, kinda like the Sun that just shines as it's in the nature of the Sun to shine. 4) Loving someone even when they hurt you - this is usually a parent's love... it sounds like you're trapped between 2 and 4 and you want to be 3, but she's not willing or able to meet you there. She's taking from you to protect herself which puts her at 1. Make sense? A lot of good men try to love, to put up with a lot - if roles were reversed, you're a girl dating an international dad with 2 kids and you've done everything for them and now he wants this "have his cake and eat it too" type of situation - what would be your advice? If your best friend was in this situation, what would you say to him? Can you be your own best-friend in this situation? It sucks that the kids are involved as their self-worth gets impacted but mom's selfishness is going to wound them no matter what situation they find themselves in. Walking this path as a Do It Yourself can be messy AF...a lot of trial and error and wasted time. If you'd like some support on this journey, that's kinda what I've been doing the last 28 years, happy to book some time to talk 1:1 and see if it makes sense to work together.

Yeah.... that's crap. She gets a roommate and babysitter with no reaponsibilities to you... until she meets some other guy then takes the kids and leaves. That's rough, and it sounds like it doesn't work for you. What's REALLY going on for her? People only act to meet their needs for certainty, variety, significance, connection/love, growth, and contribution. So what needs are being met and what needs are not being met?

Lolz... comments the anonymous screen name, creating nothing. Sorry that someone hurt you, and you're evidently still stuck in the swamp of it all. Have you watched Ted Lasso? Really great series with some fantastic character arcs. Personally, season 1 was the best.

dude - you're hurt, I get it. But your rejection and projection doesn't drive to resolution. Behavior is driven by an entire WORLD of BS - belief systems - and sitting in judgment does nothing to resolve what's going on and actually nerfs your ability to influence or guide the shituation in a different direction. You mention after kids - suggests a hormonal shift possibly due to post partum, so build rapport until she's willing to pick up what you're putting down. Rejection is part of communication, not always a final destination - but gotta get your own growth resolved, first. Can't give what you don't have - if you're operating out of positional authority, entitlement, demands... you're done before you've even started. "Because I'm your husband" means nothing - same as "because I'm your wife" - that language pattern just points to position, not a genuine relationship of give and receive. Doing the laundry to lead to sex, if driven from a "tit for tat" type of exchange or being a good boy to earn love is self-emasculation and manipulation, transactional action that makes it difficult for a woman to live and love in her feminine. You SLAY them dishes because you're producing a clean environment, total presence and ownership of the moment... different situation.

glad it landed for you - any specific take-aways or ah-HA moments?

It's a matter of knowing her as to how you act going forward. If you also give space, she could feel like you don't care or don't want a relationship with her. If you press in, then you risk making her feeling unsafe and you're showing her that you aren't respecting her boundaries. So, you've got to figure out how to hold space - not back away and not crash in, letting her know you're ready, willing, able, and available to move forward together, while still moving your life forward, regardless of how she's acting or reacting. If you stop everything for her, it might feel nice, but can make her feel like you have nothing going on in your own life - so she's left feeling stuck and like SHE has to drive the relationship, drive your life, forward. It's definitely a balancing act and a skill. I've got some trainings if you're interested to help you be more centered, more dynamic, yet also feel safe to/for her, too. Let me know if you're interested.

Get out bro , never is to late

Sorry you're in this situation - were you two having sex before you got married? And, you state you don't believe in divorce... but this marriage isn't meeting your needs, wants, dreams or desires AND you have a wife who has categorically said no to you - that's an unwinnable situation. If she's not willing to be fully available to you on all levels, is she okay with you getting you needs met elsewhere? And if yes, are you? Principles are well and good - but they're just rules, "shoulds" ... not necessarily reality. Do you respect yourself? Do you believe you deserve to be loved fully? If yes, and you have a partner unwilling to match what you're willing to give... that's the reason divorce exists, yes? Why do you believe you can't heal? What must be true in your heart or mind to stay forever wounded? What could change and allow you to heal?

@@JeremyRoadruck I dont like your comment simply because it reveals to many things that seem true lol. I will answer your question as why I feel I cant heal. Its because all your suspicions of whats going on here is true; I cant heal because I cant/wont divorce but that means this struggle will never be cured. No she wont let me go elsewhere and no I have not. She has tolerated me having female friends and the opportunity to improvise has many time presented itself. But I do not do it as it seems like the same thing as divorce to me almost. Thanks for your response. It at least caused me to reprocess my reasoning and way of thinking.

@garettstahl - sorry to hit so close to home... however, I have been doing this for a few decades. healing actually is possible - we all face 2 sides to life - our reality (the land of "is") and our rules (the land of "should"). When our reality and our rules are in alignment, life is good and we're happy. When our reality and our rules are in conflict, were in pain. And when we believe there's nothing we can do to change either our rules or our reality, we get stuck in suffering. You've said you don't believe in changing your reality (aka divorce), so then you're left with changing your rules, your shoulds, your standards... and if you don't change your rules then you're consenting to stay locked in suffering - and if you can simply find a way to accept your situation, then the suffering can disappear. That's one of the things I help my clients to do - change their focus, internal associations, meanings, etc to make their lives more congruent and livable. Happy to get up a time to talk if you'd like to have more peace and less struggle/suffering in your life.

Glad it landed for you

you're so very welcome!

yep - "when people show you their character, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou -very wise words from an amazing poet.

Fully agreed

it's definitely pretty bad, and why my wife and I work to keep ours sexfull!

That's a REALLY big "if" - truly asexual people are _very_ rare... MUCH less rare than someone who is wounded and hasn't resolved it yet, or someone who was hurt is some way and holding on to being right about it. If he's married to an asexual woman, he'd probably have an idea of that ahead of getting married. If she grew to be asexual over time - hormones can change, childbirth can literally reset a woman's hormone system, if SHE feels there's no problems - then yes, that's probably a situation that can't be recovered or salvaged and it's to separate and divorce as friends with different needs and wants. There's no need to get shitty with each other. I've had guys implement everything I suggest and recover their marriage and I've had guys implement everything I suggest and leave their marriage, head held high and self-respect maintained without weaponizing the process. One guy had his ex-wife apologize about 2 years after their marriage ended. He didn't want to get back with her as he'd grown so much in the interim that he was find being co-parent to their children but was otherwise unattracted to her anymore. Life and love is a bit of a roll of the dice, a bit of skill, a bit of luck... be determined to be loving and kind with clear boundaries and that generally makes the whole thing easier and more fun for all involved.

Well, it's not for "no reason" - there's a reason, she just might not be conscious of it... or not feel safe telling you... Human beings are "reasonable" creatures - meaning, EVERYTHING we do is for a reason - even if the reason is made up garbage. What was her life like growing up? What did she see her parents model for her? What's her dating history? Who/how was she hurt in past relationships and has she done the work to grow and heal? If not, there's the reasons - unresolved wounds ALWAYS come out, eventually. I'm sorry you're in this situation - is she open to growth, coaching? Does SHE feel this is a problem? Difficult to move forward towards a win/win with an unwilling, uninterested partner, unfortunately. There are things you could do to possibly help spark her back to life in the bedroom, if you're interested in going that direction.

You didn’t marry an angel it was a demon in disguise

@@JeremyRoadruckfuck this shit. We signed up for consistent sex not to be her therapist

@@stevengonzales8326 or neither - he married a human being who's still growing and maturing like we all are. It sounds like she's wounded in some way, and he's not in enough rapport to influence or connect with her. If he feels entitled to her body, might be what's driving her distance... relationships can be messy AF and what is driving someone to do something or not do something can come from multiple, different places. This is why having someone to work through this stuff with can be so beneficial. We don't truly see ourselves, just our intent - we ALL have blindspots.

that's one way to approach it sure... but kids involved, been together a long time, the sexlessness just kinda grew over time... what would be reasonable to recover the passion...? There's a LOT of factors to consider - simply saying exit is a big step for most ppl. This is why I key in on 5 to Thrive with my clients - single men OR couples - define what helps you to thrive so you both can give and receive at the highest levels and co-create something EPIC!

Sorry that's been your experience - relationships can get messy and quick, unfortunately. Sometimes it's hard to know who's truly dangerous or deranged, and who's reacting to unhealed damage. Sucks that your daughter is most likely going to get caught up in repeating her mom's patterns in her own relationships. Are you doing anything for your own growth and healing?

@@JeremyRoadruck Thank you for responding. Yes, I am doing something for growth and healing. I'm 60 yrs old now, but back on the market. I've moved into an investment unit and financial settlement is lodged with the courts. I also bought a new BMW R1250GS motorcycle and am continuing to play keyboards in several bands. I've decided to retire and use my superannuation as I can access it now. I can't believe how I was used up, but I'm looking forwards, not backwards.

@MKA63 - dude, that's some solid growth, yo! Didn't see this reply until just today - I've got a strategy called Five to Thrive that helps to dial in on sorting OUT the bad matches and find a partner who's willing and able to win with you. Happy to send you more information if that'd be helpful to you. I've had clients into their 70s and even 90s for various skill sets - green and growing, or ripe and rotting... those are the choices. Sounds like you're focusing on green and growing.... game on, yo!

that's SUCH a difficult position to be in. So why stay? And, what would happen if you just put a hand on his manhood, said, "I'm going to enjoy this, you're welcome to come too." ...? Generally, if sex isn't happening in a committed relationship, there's other factors at play - and sometimes we need someone outside our situation to help unpack what's REALLY going on.

You are the woman I wished I had me. ❤

that's a VERY difficult place to be in. The best you can do is figure out how to get into rapport with the other parent. The challenge is when the other parent has weaponized something between the two of you and would rather be right, than focus on the long-term health and happiness of your child(ren). Is there ANY form of communication? Ways to apologize or smooth over ruffled feathers or soften hurt feelings?