BPD - BLACK AND WHITE SPLITTING!
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 03. 2017
- THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!!
PLEASE CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE
www.theblacklambs.com
FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS!
instagram: @theblacklambs
TikTok: @theblacklambs
Facebook: Facebook.com/theblacklambshop
SEND MONEY www.paypal.me/michimavros
BLACK AND WHITE SPLITTING is the first symptom that made me realize that i have BPD, and it is something we experience despite our best efforts. love or hate, hot or cold, black or white. part 2 coming out next week, please like, subscribe and share this video if you found it helpful!! feel free to message me about advice or if you just want to talk/share your story!!
My wife did this to me last October. She became so enraged that she violently assaulted me in front of our daughter. She then subsequently made frivolous calls to law enforcement and eventually filed a false claim of domestic violence against me. She stripped me from our daughters lives (our oldest 4yo daughter is autistic) and had me sentenced to 52 weeks of batterer's counseling. The day I packed my belongings before being kicked out of our home I found wedding pictures ripped from our photo album and my picture torn away. This is the type of rage that exhibits in a person when they split. I am the most loving, caring compassion nurturing father/ parent a child could ever wish for. The sad thing is that our family courts continue this cycle of removing the father from the home which in my opinion is the very core root of the catalyst for BPD. This is especially true for young women. I pray one day that you will become one less statistic. We need to stop this cycle of creating fatherless daughters.
my BPD makes it so hard to be in relationships. I will love my boyfriend one second then blink and want to kill him... I go from THE most loving person in the world to evil as could be....
Angie Virone I relate to that completely ! /:
Same honestly
I think that's just women to be honest.
It's best not to be in relationships until such a time as you're mature enough to be in one. That means years of dbt and hopefully developing the pre frontal cortex with aging.
I have BPD but I don't hate people. I guess I can dislike someone and feel extremely annoyed when I'm with them. But when I'm in a good mood I feel like they are not a bad person anymore. But then something happens and I don't like them again because I remember how horrible and bad they are. I just keep going back and forth with that and I get very confused and annoyed with myself. People seem either like liars and selfish or amazing and good. This happens with everyone I know. So, I choose not to talk when I'm feeling annoyed with people because I'm smart enough to know I'm delusional and paranoid and It's better if i keep my stupid irrational thoughts to myself. But doing that I feel alone and frustrated and I doubt I'll ever get better which makes me want to die. This world just feels so cruel and hallow to me at times.
splitting on people suck, I hate when I do it :/ I hate when I split on myself too
I wait for your videos. like it feels so good knowing someone gets the way my brain works.
Abigail Perry that made me feel so great thank you so much :)
You missed a few important words here Abigail, please allow me to add them " someone gets the way my toxic, poisonous demented and Demonic brain works.".....And that is a much more accurate and true description of ALL Borderlines...
Abigail Perry ...don't you mean. ...the way your brain doesn't work !!!!
I feel the same. Michi is amazing, you explain how I am through words. Something I really struggle to do. :-)
@@johnthedespicabledutchman7406 Stop the toxicity!!!!!! You are stereotyping US!!
Girl I felt heat right when you said you can think of someone you hate you can work yourself up mine legit went from 0-100 just by you saying that
My mind immediately skipped to my dad.
Yes yes YES! I really struggle when a friend likes a person that I hate with a passion! How the hell can they like a person that has broken my heart, that has done so bad and wrong to me! I cannot understand that and it makes me sooooo hurt. I start thinking that this friend that likes that arsehole doesn't like me at all! So it snowballs to where I start splitting on that friend. I am aware that I do this so I try my best to not split on that friend and tell myself that they are entitled to their own opinions of the other person. Aghhhhhg it's one of the most hardest things of all to deal with as a BP.
leilaminette 100% agree with your whole statement :) im also glad youre aware and try not to, thats all you can do for now and hope it improves but just know i feel ya!!!
yeah... this is also why I tend to avoid relationships... they say something stupid and I can't just let it go... or one thing about them starts getting on your nerves big time... Like my ex loved beer.. Like he was a beer fanatic... at first it was kinda cute, I didn't think much of it but then I got really disgusted by it and hated everything he said and did.. even things that had nothing to do with beer. Or the sex is either great or it is so freaking bad that I can't be in the relationship anymore... I am not really willing to compromise. I'm stubborn like that. And I have to be the prettiest girl he's ever been with or I'm not interested at all. Messed up stuff.
Heidi Oivo yep YEP especially the last part nail on the head lol!
Nailed it. Thanks for this. This is me in a nutshell.
so glad you are back, I know exactly how you feel and what your saying.
Aaaa Michi! The way you articulate and describe things is so right on! It's like you're reading my mind! Thank you for making these videos! 👍👍👍👍👍😁
I’m so happy I found your channel. I feel like someone is voicing everything that’s going on in my head.
So so SO Happy I found your channel. The most relatable and real information I have found
Thank You Michi it feels so good to know I'm not alone in this and I love how you can put words to what we feel. I have yet to master that because I'm so confused with all this emotions and my coping mechanism is rage but with your videos I'm able to learn about myself ♡ So Ty
Your content is so valuable for people with BPD as it’s usually someone who doesn’t actually experience it talking about it. Thank you x
I feel like I'm two different people. I wouldn't say like hate or that side. I'm more of the happy, optimistic person. Then there's this pessimistic person, or deeep down low. And it's not like only a few days, but I have these feelings weeks at a time. And I start to notice differences.
everything you say is so so so true. I am so glad your channel exists, it makes me feel a lot less alone with bpd, thank you
Iona Anderson awww thanks you make me feel less alone too im so glad i get to meet people like you :)
Iona Anderson awww thanks for your comment!! you make me feel less alone too im so glad i get to meet people like you :)
You literally explain bpd so well. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 11, yes age 11 diagnosed with bipolar disorder. All my life even before age 11 has been hell emotionally, I felt like nobody including my family understood me. My parents only saw the black side of my bpd most of my childhood and I find it weird that I was super young. I tried to commit suicide at 11 which caused me to stay in the hospital for 5 days being supervised 24/7. I had therapy after that which my mom only took me like twice (wow, my family really cares)....I went back to the hospital this year over something small but my emotions took over in a way my family did not understand. My cats are my literal babies and one of them had been spayed and her incision had opened. All my life I've wanted to be a veterinarian because animals are so important to me and because of my bpd the whole cat situation effected my emotions greatly. My parents would not take my cat to the vet which made me very angry because obviously I didn't want my cats wound to get infected and it was something my parents just kinda shrugged off but my all I could worry about was my cat. A couple days later her incision was still opened and I had had enough, at the time there was only rage, anger, just anger beyond anger......I literally said I was going to kill myself over and over to my parents, I even threatened to stab my dad with a knife in my hand, my dad had to restrain me and then my parents called the cops. I went into the bathroom and starting slitting the side of my arm with a razor (not too bad of cuts but there was blood) at the time I wasn't even thinking about my cat all that I was thinking about was the anger, the anger was taking over me. 5 days later I'm released from the hospital just like when I was 11, I knew the drill in the hospital...they then again admitted me to a therapist and my parents didn't take me not once. I then go and tell my family what I think is wrong with me since I started to have more self awareness of my bpd but they just think of me as "a psycho bitch" and what they say really effects me..I then started to look into bpd a little more, which is hard to diagnose and gets mistaken for bipolar disorder) I don't have weeks of mania and weeks of depression, it happens whenever and now I understand why my childhood was the way it was. All I remember was my childhood filled with negative emotions and VERY intense anger. I'd loose myself in tantrums or outbursts, I'd do things in the moment such as breaking my things and totally regretting what I did afterwards. My emotions still control me but I'm working on helping my bpd on my own since my parents are literally no help, they believe nothing I say :(. I can't even talk to my parents about it because they tell me to forget about it, that I'm just a teenager and instead when I'm having a bpd moment say I need to get help? It makes no sense, my parents won't make an effort in trying to get me therapy unless I harm myself, but after I'm out of the hospital it's just all the same. I'm 15 today trying to cope with bpd as much as I possibly can but my emotions still get the best of. I don't really have friends because I can't make or keep them :/ I don't have a relationship with my dad. I fucking hate him, I feel we don't have a father daughter relationship unless it's through music..idk why that is. I shared this with you guys to let you kinda know what bpd is like and how serious it is. Btw pot helps me a lot ! :) it really helps me think more about my bpd and my self awareness and how I can even help myself with this mental illness. I have not been diagnosed with bpd but I know its not bipolar.
yay you're back !!!
I have a 16 yr old with BPD shes abusive and lies a lot. Its so difficult for me as her mother because she was never abused or abandoned.
It may not feel like it, but you are lucky to have a clear diagnosis for a 16yo: you have something to work with. My BPD daughter and I blundered around for another 5 years, waiting for the crisis that put her in hospital at 21yo, which is when (observed 24/7 over three days) we got the BPD diagnosis. The fact that she chooses to ignore the diagnosis is no longer my problem - "Stop pushing your mental health bullshit on me!!!" I am seeing a therapist who helps me understand how to support her without buying into her choices. It's extremely difficult, but I can't save her from herself.
1. You can't abandon your daughter.
2. People will judge you for her behaviour - you don't have to justify yourself to them.
3. Learn to look after yourself.
Most of the ppl I know who are BPD come from an abusive family. She might have traumas that you don’t even know about.
...in your opinion she wasn;t
That was a cool note to end on. I'm glad you mentioned that sometimes if you end up on a bpd person's bad side, it is possible to get on a good or even!!! Neutral side if they step back and look at things a little more calmly and rationally and start over. It is possible to start from a cleaner slate, and because there is a tendency for BPD people to keep a mental tally of how good/bad people are to us, it is so important to let people know that pissing off a borderline person does not always mean we're pissed at you forever, unless it is for something truly extremely bad.
I definitely do this. The more I watch your videos and others like them, the more I think I have BPD. Talking to my therapist about it this week.
glad you are back
Tamara Johnson thanks im glad yo be back!!
I love your videos, they make me learn a lot about BPD. So thank you for the informations.
Love your videos. Really good to someone understands and can break it down. I just hope my friends and family will watch this to understand. Dig your hair styles. I've been watching these videos you've done.
Tomas Carroll thank you so much for your continued support :)
I love the hate stuff you talked about. It feels so good to hear it.
Living for your look!
BPD including B&W splitting are defense mechanism that are created by a very young child (pre verbal) to deal with abandonment or perceived abandonment and compounded throughout childhood and adolescence. The root of this lies with the bond with the primary caregiver (birth Mom) and then supported by the secondary caregiver. A child would rather be bad in a good world and will perceive themselves to be bad before they can see their mom (parent) could be wrong or bad. Splitting occurs.
EVERY human on the Earth is born perfectly imperfect. Everyones shit stinks. We are all equal. Judgment and value and devalueing others only leads to low self worth/esteem and no self boundaries..... no self.
Clearing the cognitive dissonance surrounding this original split with your primary care giver is the key to recovery.
XOXOXO
Yes, how do you do that besides self pampering rituals, journaling, & buying dogs from shelters? Because humans can't really give me the kind of love I want...and I can no longer delude myself w/religion...
It's been reassuring watching your video. I'm still struggling with splitting but I feel like it used to take total control of my perception and therefore behavior towards people that are close to me. It takes SO MUCH ENERGY out of me feeling that rush of anger and disappointment when someone is "sliding" to the black category, and back to white when my brain allows me to let them back there.
I'm trying to be VERY AWARE that it's not the people who are shifting between amazing and horrible, it's my brain trying to cope with emotions it doesn't understand. - Like how can someone perfect do something that doesn't feel perfect and how that can be okay-
Anyway. Thank you for making these videos!! Nice reading the comments too :)
Because NO ONE is perfect. Duh!
yeah!!! somebody understands!!! I have bpd too and you just nailed it with the explanation...
This clears things up with how my BPD ex suddenly left me out of the blue for another guy. She brought up all these seemingly insignificant things we already discussed and resolved and said I never change which is baffling. I was so patient with her for the whole 6 months, always self-aware of what I'll say or do next because I knew that going into this relationship would be like walking on eggshells. Oh well, nobody will treat her exceptionally like I did.
I love just listening to you and it's like having a friend with the same disorder c: (also sorry if this is weird but you are just really inspiring and a role model and just seem so completely lovey!) Thanks for sharing yourself with us Michi! Do you experience having a fp or favourite person? It's so confusing sometimes how we are so self aware of what we're doing but can't control it or stop it. Like I can usually tell I'm splitting on someone and that it might not be fair but I just get sooooo passionate about hating or loving them.
Savannah YES thank you savannah!! i do have experience with an FP it always happens to me where i seem to neglect my other friends and focus on just one im gonna make my next video about that thanks for the inspiration!! :)
I completely agree !!!
Love your videos! Sooo relatable
i didnt know this was a thing until i watched your video, but now i have identified it in myself, thank you!
Great to see you back Michi! I took a little break too as I was heavily pregnant. I hope u are well and look forward to seeing ur vids! xxx
Recovery Mum nice to have you back too i missed your content!! your lottie is adorable
I think it's hard for both parties to deal with simply because it depends on whether or not we are getting help for our disorders and attempting to replace our negative or disruptive symptoms with healthier coping mechanisms and ways of dealing with confrontation/disappointment. While on the other hand, many people are not emotionally equipped to handle the "baggage" that can come with being an extremely emotionally intense person. They may fall in love with us because we can be passionate, intelligent, emotionally invested, etc. But they may begin to get too deeply involved and want to back out once they see that it isn't JUST that. There's more to it than emotions. I've always had a tendency to seek out relationships where I would feel as if my needs are validated, that I would be taken care of and that I could 100% love this person with all of my heart. But then there's always some sort of trigger, disruptive event, most importantly a key work MISPERCEPTION (since I and other BPDs tend to misinterpret emotional cues and information and spin it into something negative) that we begin to Split. I tend to isolate, try to escape, become upset over something that I DID MISPERCEIVE, etc. Simply because in my mind I feel that over this misperception I will not be able to get the support that is needed, or that this person will see who I am and not love me for that, so I break it off often disruptively and not in the most healthy of ways, which is why I'm in therapy to repair these behaviors. Part of it is acknowledging that we may have Split on people, and I acknowledge that still to this day many people have been hurt over my actions. But I'm really attempting to better myself, but I feel deep remorse for the people I've hurt, and there is a lot of Shame and Guilt over the things I've done. But this is why we work on ourselves in therapy. Thanks for the video.
After this video, I do not need a medical diagnosis. Jesus Christ.
I missed you sooo much babe !!! ❤️
Thanks for explaining that for people! ❤✌
I have BPD, and I’ve been looking for a video on splitting by a person with BPD, and now I’ve found this and I’m so happy
This is the second video of your that I have watched and it has really helped me. I am currently dating someone with BPD. Actually, she just broke up with me today. For the fourth time. In four months. So I am very aware of the black and white thinking. My question for you is this: are you getting treatment for your BPD? I was watching another video on another channel and he was saying that you can overcome some of these symptoms and get below the 5 symptom threshold. Have you heard of this?
You’re awesome! I love your videos
Why would any adults have an enemy? Why hate? Child molesters have a disorder too, doesn't excuse it. I dated someone with BPD....doesn't matter what you do for them, its never enough. Their math leads them to believe no matter what you give them and how little they give back, they are always OWED more. I loved this woman, still care deeply for her but I have never seen a more draining toxic, user of people in my life.
I love you girl! Love love love your video
love your videos!
Yazmine Covers thanks!! :)
I dated a wonderful person in.....a research metal hospital of all places with BPD... A year ago we broke up and it was really terrible because of the intensity and then the devaluation. Having MDD myself and ADHD I have gained a lot from Michi and Recovery Mum. I've felt and continue to feel very lonely, which is a new thing for me and a deep sense of loss.
She still feels very angry at me for trivial arguments and possibly abandoning her. For me the break up was more about needing a boundary as the relationship caused me a great deal of stress. Also, I've gained so much self-understanding from DBT centered videos and understanding for my old gf and thus compassion...Although when I'm quite depressed I do feel many polarized mixed emotions.
My question is will she ever stop hating me?
I am so grateful somehow I found your video. I'm 36 and was just labeled with Borderline personality disorder yesterday which explains so much. My entire life I have been black and White. I've verbally expressed this as long as I can remember. I don't know what the Grey area is. I also were a ton of Black and White. This is the 2nd Video of yours I've watched and if I closed my eyes it would be me speaking. plus I say FUCK all the time. I am kinda Numb right now. I am experiencing the Out of body feeling. I am BPD with PTSD. I would love to actually chat with you.
Hey. Love your videos. I was just wondering if you experience this black and white splitting with any other aspects of your life? Or is just within relationships with people and/or yourself?
I'm with you 100% on the enemies girl.
Girl, I get you.
BPD HERE 👋🏻
i have a question to you does it happen that you give silent treatment to your girlfriend or boyfriend .
Great video thank you very much for the video keep up the great worj
I don't have BPD but I am trying understand and read about it. Any books that you would recommend?
Hi! My first time watching your video I just subscribed to you because I too have BPD and want to connect to others with the same disorder.
I Had a bff not anymore she died and ever since that happened I haven't been able to have girl friends because no one will ever be like my BFF. its been 12 years and it feel's like it was just yesterday that i lost her, she was also my favorite person and she's gone.
It’s so sad to me because I have been working so hard in therapy to make my black and white thinking more grey and in so many ways I have been successful but it still causes my relationships to suffer because I don't understand how people can be ok with being in the grey. To me if you do bad things you are bad. I have a tendency to categorize groups of people too. Like I hate cops. All cops. I don’t really understand how people can be part of an organization that does so much bad. Another example is I have a hatred of men and am overly critical of men because of trauma and pattern recognition of events in my life. When people don't understand my view I get mad because I don't get how people don't get the hurt. It’s making it very hard to not split on partners when faced with making decisions about justice and doing the right thing when it comes to family members actions. I don't even know if putting in the work is worth it because it just feels like people don't care about how I feel and would just rather me just stay quiet and just accept their way of seeing life. Like I could work for years on myself and still the improvement is never enough to have peaceful relationships and fulfilling friendships.
Lol really sounds like me but i was diagnosed with add not bpd anyway nice video you are great in describing it!
Missdevil666 what is add?
what esle can take you from black and back into white
I'm recognising my symtopmns and now I am aware I have just split on a friend. It's hard to snap out of it even when I am now aware I am splitting on them.
Im going through this right now and i dont know how to stop
I have borderline personality disorder and severe PTSD and OCD and germ freak and Asperger's diease.
awe. thanks for the kind words my sweet. very well done video too. see you soon
Chris Kelly Media HEY I KNOW THIS GUY
It seems that it was easier for you to switch from hate to love about this school girl because you didn’t really have some fights or specific strong conflicts, betrayal things in the past in your relationship with her. Like you didn’t expect from her to live you and then the hate came out because of something happened. That’s was just 1)---2) unlikeness 3) talk -> likeness
What do you think about it?
And I have a question, if you don’t mind and you’re comfortable to answer it.
For example, if you find out something about one of your love-one (friend/close person/fiancé) that conflicts with you believes and moral guidelines, but it wouldn’t be about you. That something that was happened against someone else. Would you except it no matter what? Would you still be in a love side about this person? How bad is that should be? Some serious anti moral crime with no reasonable explanation?
Just in case for paranoid people (I’m partly one of them that’s why I’m saying that) - I don’t know anyone of your friends or relatives or anyone, I live in a different country and have no connections. That’s just a theoretical question. I personally think that I have the bipolar 1, but I’m on the presses of recognition. So I was asking myself if I could have the BPD, some symptoms are comorbid.
I do have this switches, but if I take some time and would think about a person abstractly, I could see the bad and the good things about whom. I just could don’t communicate more anymore, because I think that for me this person will act badly, evil about that one will try to hurt me at the firs opportunity.
I've been diagnosed with BPD but don't think I do this at all, even though I've got a lot of the other symptoms. Think it's likely a misdiagnosis?
no, not necessarily - you need 5 out of the 9 diagnostic criteria; I only have like 7 but am expecting my diagnosis v soon
Michi can a FP be split black and if so can they ever become split white again by a Borderline?
Does this happen to everyone around you ?
I had a phone call from screeching BPD daughter a year ago. Her wonderful girlfriends had all chipped in and bought her a beautiful black, hide-leather backpack, monogrammed with her initials, so that she could carry her laptop and books for uni. I've never heard such an outburst - the tears, the screaming down the phone, on and on and on, about this much-hated 21st gift. Hated it, her friends, me, life in general. It was about as black/white as it gets. Fortunately, we had recently received "the diagnosis". I soon realised it was futile to try and balance her thinking. I can look back and laugh now - her girlfriends would have been mortified to hear her dreadful outburst. Thanks for posting this vid. Onwards and upwards!
It is triggered by PERCEPTION, which only sometimes mirrors reality.
You look great Michi
i just split so hard on my fp he has been pissIN ME OFF SO MUCH. ugh just thinking about it right now angers me so much. i hate being like this....
You know I had someone I care about alot(a X) and they told I they thought I Bpd and the more I watch your videos and look up stuff I can relate with it so much but I don't want to just say I have it and I want to get help and then aging I don't but you help me see things in a better light thought
can someone please explain to me what is the difference between being bipolar to borderline.
From what I've read, one of the differences is that, with bipolar, the extreme moods may last days, while with borderline, the extreme mood swings can happen many times in a day. There are probably other differences, but this is just one I've seen psychologists talk about.
I'm one of the quiet ones, I just suffer in silence and get fucking paranoid. Also I can split on someone then come back from it? I've just been diagnosed so this is confusing. If someone I love does x bad thing I go all you fucking hate me because and I've all the points and hate their guts and then they do x and prove me wrong and I hate myself and I'm like debating whether they are shit or the best :/
When you are hating, do you ever want to split back to that person and feel guilt or love like??? Hard to explain I guess?
I definitely understand I been diagnose with it when I was in the 12th I definitely have that black and white thinking
is there any cure for this disease? do antidepressants help?
A mental health professional should be able to recommend the appropriate treatment, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy or something else. People with BPD can learn to manage it and have healthy, happy relationships. It's so important to talk to a professional and get a correct diagnosis first, though.
A person I care about keeps switching me from the white to the black and so on. And it's been a weekly thing. She'll do the push towards the weekend and by that time, I'm in the black. Then she'll pull me back a couple days later, and I'm white. Any suggestions on how I could manage these changes?
Answer.....Run and just run for your dear life and don't look back...
Yeah. I'm sorry but ignorance like that is not going to help the one I love. I will not abandon her. All I want is some unbiased advice and tips to help me help her. Because I am learning as much as I can about BPD, I will always be there for her. I'll deal with those days when she pushes me out, cause I understand the disorder more. Yes, it still hurts when she does push me, but I'm more tolerant of it now, cause I know she loves me as much as I love her. I will always be there for her.....always.
TheDrewskyShow do you think there is a pattern of things that are triggering it? I know for me certain things will make me switch someone. It's usually when they don't understand me, don't comfort me the exact way I want, or just say a pet peeve of mine. There's probably certain triggers that make her do it so maybe try to figure out what is causing it
" don't comfort me the exact way I want..." Good grief I can't believe what I have just read here ...This is 'exactly' what should happen to ALL Demonic Borderlines Monsters...A massive lead injection into their vile, toxic,poisonous demented and Demonic brains...
You poor deluded and naive Fool for your so-called beloved Female Borderline monster will ruthlessly DESTROY you.
Hi haven't seen any of your videos for a long time , my mental health has been quite bad with a few police runnings and sections , but when they ask me do I think it fits me , Iam like yer and no or not even sure , Iam leaning more towards bi polar I think myself but think I just wanna tell them what they want to hear to get outta of there
I was searching for something else and I accidently clicked on your video but since I'm here I wanted to give you few tips to make better videos. 1. Use the "rule of third". if you don't know what that is, search it online. 2. position the camera as high as your eyes. Not higher not lower. 3. look at the camera! This one is important and makes people connect with you and what you are saying. 4. Add a music with low volume in your video. Doing that makes your videos much more interesting (finding the right music makes HUGE different). You are pretty and making these improvements will make you a professional CZcamsr. Great job and good luck.
thank you for your tips! completely agree and will use them for my next video :) take care
Are all borderlines so passionate, loving and honest?
Giiiiiirrrrllll... I fucking get it. I have that quality of HATE and anger in me for a couple people too and I don't even wanna think about it bc shit will be fucked up. I go off. It's not ok. The hate is so real. They are NASTIES BITCHES EVER. Anyways, you are so fucking pretty and this vid was necessary.
I like your video.. im a 46 year old with Cptsd and dealing with realizing my own BPD after years of being misdiagnosed as Bi-polarll.. the meds prescribed harmed me over decades of doctors playing Hey ok.. so lets try this!? ive been clean and sober.. off all things except needed medicinal weed( finnaly legal here Thank God!) i was hardwired to people please.. and was over the top in many ways.. i survived several suicide attempts.. no longer cut.. but now have been slandered more recently by my own covert narcessistic mom. she had me falsely arrested for elder abuse.. charges are dropped.. but damage of my reputation is already done...i previously had 26 years of unblemished work record with others... and lost a lot of money just in trying to help her in saving a home she still resides in ..but ive lost. lost..oh well.. fuck it.. . like only 14k.. not a million.to cut ties...its just like you describe being bpd.. its love or hate... good or Bad.. ive seen the grey and now trust none of it.. everything my parents did to make me this way goes un acknowledged.. like sobriety.. its a lonely place.. i keep my own head on right.. I lost so many close friends.. family even soul mates.. but when i look at facts.. i always did take the higher ground.. but see it was all trauma bonding. id attract victims like my mom.. and cops.. and narcessistic folks.. because i had been raised by a hysteronic enabeling man hating mom who had abandonment issues and who was too unaware of personal bounderies.. prone to gossip and blame.. My dads easy to get.. shoots from the hip.. total overt narc.. Like im awesome.. your dumb... i dont owe you shit...who cares about how we raised you. But moms dangerous.. forgetfull whenever it serves. i get so much from seeing other peoples vids on how to heal.. and what its like.. eventually i hope to do the same. So many people are affected.. yet so few want to hear.. or care about understanding us people that seem so "crazy"...Its like being under a spotlight at all times.. It hard to not withdraw from all people.. i do actually more than i used to.. I no longer blame others for where i am or am not in life.. but some wrongs have been done to me.. that will never be ok. letting the rage and fear of being alone go while i recover.. are my biggest barriors. Your video is a help today. So figured i share in support od BPD affected folks. Thanks again... you DO make a difference.
GOD LOVES YOU THOUGH, ALWAYS
It's unreasonable to expect anyone to measure up and maintain such a lofty standard as a prerequisite for securing a relationship. When you consider that the person holding you to that impossible standard is considerably flawed to begin with, it won't be long before you're questioning your own sanity for even trying. How long can that go on before you're soundly rejected?....."Who are you to be so demanding?"......What can you possibly say to that? You're begging for disappointment , but what's BPD without thoughtless self-sabotage?
your negative bullshit is not welcome here. byee
shogun harlem when did any of us ever say that?
You're the one who's negative. Why the need to get personal with someone who's saying essentially the same thing you are, who recognizes the BPD's
....Flaws just the same as you, but his opinion isn't legit because he's not excusing your behavior or showing it due sympathy you think it's owed? Perhaps it's your attitude that ensures you'll never conquer it. Consider that and stop pitying yourself. It might cure you.
My ex did this. It's a wonderful experience to go through. One has not truly lived until you've been split black.
nige4958 why was that a good experience?
I was being facetious. It's a painful ordeal. I've never been experienced anything close to this.
nige4958 so your ex didnt do it? yeah im sure it sucks but it also sucks to be the one that has the disorder
I agree, I have compassion for her. Unfortunately she has ZERO empathy for me and doesn't care. Her brother mentioned to me she's a "man eater," meaning this sort of thing happens regularly. When this sort of thing happens to people that do not have BPD, it's traumatic as fuck. I'm still working on getting over it. The person I knew was an illusion. Push, pull, then boom, you're done.
nige4958 aaaaand theres the generalization. you do realize that generalization breeds contempt and grouping people together like that is no better than racism and sexism right?
Struggling so hard with this
It's awful and so frustrating
I've just learned about BPD recently. And it describes my girlfriend perfectly. I need advice on how to introduce her to the possibility she is. I dont want to scare her and do want to help her. I do I start the conversation?
This is absolutely me. Always has been. It's all good until you piss me off. Then whoa unto you. Then I am done with you. Permanently. For real. End of story.
Maybe we could have an hour a day of just pure split white? Let's bring some rays of sunshine to this doom and gloom.
you know she's a Transformer right
i think you beautiful person
My boyfriend did not call me, so I HATE HIS GUTS!!
Michi.. need to talk .. reply on facebook.. counsellors are fed up of me.. you will be too but i have some questions i can't find any answers to....
Vahaj Qureshi go on my facebook page send me a message!!
2:38 supply
Mental Circus Podcast my thought exactly.
Mental Circus Podcast whats that mean?
Michi Mavros it means you don't love the people, you love the feelings you have when you're with them.
They act as a provider of these feelings. It isn't really them you love, it's the supply
Mental Circus Podcast thats not true at all
Michi Mavros I'm glad I'm wrong then
ill be your friend
i wouldnt expect a Greek to be so sick
Georgios what does that mean
Since you know you shouldnt split why are you doing it? Thats sick
Just snap out of it. Having a disorder doesnt mean you are allowed to misbehave.
Georgios go educate yourself you pathetic excuse for a human
Did you just black me? trolololol
you are fine just the way you are sweet heart