Video

Everybody loves Michi

Relatable lol

Yeah but you'll eventually❤

Relapsed from ❄️ and been struggling to get on the right path, and I literally haven’t been happy since I was a teenager… I’m 33 now - hope things get better ❤️‍🩹

ngl... when 3 years old I got diagnosed as APD, at 17; MDD, BIF but currently im getting diagnosed again bc im not sure,,,, so days ago,,, last tuesday; i went with a psychiatrist, she told me i might be a mix of adhd, autism, but yeah, we would've shown her however the 2017 DSM result paper to share them with her,,, but yeah she also told me i might have a mood disorder bc usually... my moods always mix,,, :" and i had emotional breakdowns... btw, i dont self DX,,, i rely more of what the psychiatrist says than self dxing,,,

Sober looks beautiful on you!

I love how you speak about this! 100%! On point! Thank you for this video! I'm grateful for this!

So how do you cope now?.. genuine question from someone w bpd

This is most definitely me 🫡 and I can’t help it. It makes my relationship harder than it needs to be smh

Its a relief to here this experiences from you and not just from my own head 😵‍💫 Can you do a video how to learn to live with this wound and not to destroying all relationship?

I have bullied twice in my life and im being okay i got over the bullying in very quickly

Why do i constantly ask what i behave and act like? I like to know the answer please

Oh hey😃

I never rearlised it could be apart of it but growing up there has been apprent signs of a personality disorder forming with me since I was 8 and I was 12 when my mh worker and her team actually started question MPD as I would in sessions apprenlty switch and as I got to 14 and 15 this was worse to the point me and the worker she would book out a sensory room in a children's visit center for social care every week slowly over time she would try talk to me about more traumatic stuff and apprently I would change and be more "older" but then could get emotional and become child link and at 12 she came up with a story called Me, little and olders in one. Which yh she would try bring up from stuff, things were okay but at 16 was put under a differnt mh team and kept in the other one but the different team was complex mh disorders and crisis teams, as alot happened due to being a care kid since I was 5 at 15 kicked out my mams (at around 11 went back to live with her) and put in care but then couldn't cope so have incidents that get me put in hospital and or kicked out and cuz that I got diagnosed bpd 16th May 2022 and that day worst attempt yet put me in general for 4 months then as no where in my local area would take me as too high risk, social care and general hospital wanted me sectioned but the mh team refused I was sent 3hrs away to a place for those who just come off section whilst in the hospital though the worker I had since 12 was haveing alot of leave due to health issues so didn't see her as much causing more and worse things for me, then 2 months into being in the placement 3hrs away cuz of a comment I had made about me rather if I was to delete it be in my home city not 3hrs away (I was due to have our session and go see her) she cancelled causing all hell to let loose and me get my first 136 from there she stopped working with me until we had our last session 3 months before I turned 18 and the whole time I though she had gone on long term sick leave because that night I got 136d I very nearly lost my life and I did blame it on her for cancelling the appt and it eats me up I never ment to hurt her but when she saw me last she explained its her previous issues (which ik she did have some other things as there was the odd time she was off sick) but I hated it and cried as she was the only place ever I actually felt safe to let the kid side come out and not be judged for sucking my thumb bringing my blanket to sessions and my teddy like yh. Since still not been good but started exploring with another worker the fact of the child side now never feels safe to come out and be a kid because I take on so many other ppls issues and then have my own so she got me to share the story the worker had made if I wanted and we started to rearlise recently I have been treating the little me how my mam and Foster carers over the years treated them like a caged animal bound and tied up never to be rearlised and the stuff I tell little me, like I reassure and been told I'm amazing and should work in care field with yp and mh needs as well as developmental delays because I treat them so well espeically those with the developmental delays I helped them release anger in safer ways, I been their venting place and also been the place they can have fun and not hide anything. But I don't do that to my own little and I do frown upon it tell myself to pack it in and grow tf up like stop being pathetic ect ect and hurt myself just like how I was physically hurt by the adults the adult side now physically hurts the little (tw with sh ect) and so making that discovery I been trinna let the kid out more but struggling as even in my own placements (as I'm 19 but due to all my mh, physical issues and learning difficulties I live in supported living) I see it like alot my other places and live in fear as I can't always control when the kid comes out and try keep them trapped away and if they try escape then they are punished by means of sh ect but have had the odd time the kid has been able to come out only around a very few amount my support staff as only been here coming up to 5 months but spent from Jan 2023 - March 2024 in a placement that was pretty much me in my own home dispite me being the only person living there and haveing 24/7 2-1 staff I never had any support nothing they stayed in their room 24/7 didn't help me with nothing (cuz the mh place I got kicked out jan 11ths 2023 after contacting cqc as they didn't follow my saftey plan causing more issues and one point of physcosis and a knife not being locked away for a few days that then me and the knife in my hand walked down the m3 in the middle the night) being the biggest fauiler as I wasn't reported missing for nearly 10hrs after I had gone and had left in the phycosis they failed me nearly landing me in prison cuz the bladed weapon and in trouble for walking down the m3 so yh I then following day after they found out I reported their failings to the cqc served my notice and then social care found the placement back in my home city where I had to be the only one there for saftey risks and have the 2-1 staff 24/7 but it was horrible there and lots of times police was called even if I hadn't hurt myself or kicked off and breaking shit I was just shouting and ranting in my room bout stuff and then goin missing loads. But yh since this new place things been better and actually had meds review as never been on mh meds, to discuss antidepressants the other day to which the pyciatrist based off my description of my episodes and my adult mh teams experiences now believe I have bipolar and with that she's more then happy for the team to take me on and monitor me as I see my mh worker weekly he knows when I'm goin manic and she wants to see/ try and see me just as I'm hitting peak manic and see if I meet the criteria for bipolar and the manic episodes and will start me on mood stabalizers straight away as she already has the report and patterns from my mh worker so she just needs to see the peak/near peak and see then if it is manic and if so immediately start on the meds. But yh whoops kinda went on a tanget, but it's interesting as never knowing what the child me is the mh did say its age regression but not of like mpd/did like believed when I was around 12

Mathew 17:21 These kind only come out through prayer and fasting. Jesus loves you! Respectfully❤

um, no.

You so read my mind. You think they would be perfect for each other.

Jesus loves you

You are very beautiful dear!!! Michael xo❤...

Aka a temper tantrum.

Fr

Complex PTSD over here. In recovery two years. We got this. ❤🎉❤🎉❤

As a fellow diagnosed borderline, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. 💔mine is from childhood abuse, and masking my Autism for over 12 years in school and close relationships. I’m willing to openly admit, that I don’t think my own ego would be able to handle regression. It would make me very angry and suicidal, because I’ve already spent so much of my life being spoken down to, underestimated, belittled, treated like I’m stupid by my less intelligent peers, lied to by my abusive mother constantly, since she thought I was stupid enough to believe her weak pathetic lies. If the universe forced me into a position of regression, I can’t say that I wouldn’t k!ll myself. I know that this is a personal issue of mine, and that regression may not make other people angry and su!cidal. But if I were a camel, that would be the very last straw to ‘break my back’. I’m so sorry if this comment is dark or insensitive, but I don’t feel that I can tell this to anyone in my real life….

Thank you for sharing ❤

You are 100% Beautiful, Inside and Out. Keep Flourishing !! 💖💐❤💐❤💐💖

these are videos for some people with BPD, everyone is different, your experience doesn’t have to match this, but can still be understood.

How about, grow up? 😮😂

❤❤22❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Not helpful at all. Cant you do ANYTHING without a loud music track? Oh, I know. This world is so screwed

Cool you want a reward or something 😂

Totally agree. Got diagnosed BPD 8 years ago.now Ive settled down a bit in my 30's a bit . I think it's autism

Ouch…

Cringest thing I’ve seen all day congrats

I’ve been a functional alcoholic for the past 8 years due to depression and just feeling alone . Withdrawals are hard to over come when you can just run right to it and keep numbing . I so commend you because it’s so not easy to stop and actually stay away 🙏🏻

Keep on living your way is right ! ☮️💚🇬🇧

I feel like the term “emotional regulation disorder “ can be a better fit

I am 32 and recently went through a break up. . . And it made me seek therapy and really become curious about my inner world. I am undiagnosed but i identify with some autistic behaviors that have always been normal to me but not to others. . . Then then bpd and I feel relief hearing and reading these comments and videos! . . . I broke up because I felt bad for my partner like they were genuinely confused and attempting to support me. I always felt unsafe, un heard, un wanted 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 no matter how much that person gave. And I realized oh dear I’m nuts I should isolate and keep everyone at a distance so they stay safe. I won’t disappoint them or lash out because of fear of manipulation or abandonment. Life is WILD D D.

Not a joke or a flex. I was blessed with an awesome doctor that taught me amazing things...like how to love and "raise" my inner child. To treat her the way I always wanted to be treated. It...well. It was hard as hell, but it worked. It took years of intense psychotherapy, but here I am! It's amazing to be on this side of it.

Woman seeking attention*

Very sad. How about dont cheat, lie and manipulate everyone you love and sex bomb. Ever think maybe your actions are the reason you suffer??? I was her favorite person and she did all those things while dead azz looking me in the eye and telling me she loved me. If they can do that to the person thats their everything then they have no soul. Self serving, narcissistic but just a touch of self reflection to keep you on the hook.

OMG THIS IS SO MEEE

❤

But also.... Some people especially like my family, purposely did things and DID hide things from me.... They'd have these fun secret events that I wasn't invited to and if I found out about it by accident then i was made out to be "over reacting"...

I hate it when they day were narc ❤

❤

I can't go sober because cannabis helps me function but I respect anyone who can💜

That’s not splitting.

I already knew I was autistic when I was diagnosed with BPD, assumed it was a misdiagnosis but now I know that I have both in addition to cptsd and eating disorders

No excuses

Nope NOT ALLOWED TO CRY infront of other people and barely when alone. It's weakness. "You want to cry I'll give you something to cry about" She screamed as 7 year old me held her fingers behind her back bending them back harder and harder everytime a traitorous tear escaped her eyes until the pain overwhelmed the emotions and soon i learned that jsut like a light switch my overwhelming fear and sadness, anger and joy could all be flicked off