Dining Etiquette 101 - Table Manner Tips and Tricks | TOPICS WITH TRACY
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
- Today, I am sharing a highly requested video with you just in time for the Holiday Season and for any gatherings you have coming up! I am sharing tips and tricks for dining etiquette and table manners.
Thank you to Da Edoardo in Grand Blanc, Michigan for letting us use their beautiful restaurant!
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Emily Post Book on Etiquette: rstyle.me/n/db...
Speaking portion - Beauty + Outfit
DRESS: rstyle.me/~aHowD
BRA: rstyle.me/n/c6...
SHAPEWEAR: rstyle.me/n/c8...
EARRINGS: rstyle.me/n/db...
SHOES: rstyle.me/n/dc...
HANDBAG: rstyle.me/n/db...
EYE PALETTE: rstyle.me/n/c9...
CHEEK: rstyle.me/n/c4...
LIP PENCIL: rstyle.me/n/dc...
LIPSTICK: rstyle.me/n/da...
LIP TOPPER: rstyle.me/n/c9...
FRAGRANCE: rstyle.me/n/c9...
Restaurant portion - Beauty + Outfit
DRESS: rstyle.me/n/db...
STRAPLESS BRA: rstyle.me/n/c6...
SHAPEWEAR: rstyle.me/n/c6...
SHOES: rstyle.me/n/da...
EARRINGS: rstyle.me/n/c9...
BRACELET: rstyle.me/n/db...
RING: rstyle.me/n/da...
EYE SHADOW PALETTE: rstyle.me/n/da...
BLUSH: rstyle.me/n/c4...
LIP PENCIL: rstyle.me/n/c9...
LIPSTICK: rstyle.me/n/da...
LIP TOPPER: rstyle.me/n/c9...
FRAGRANCE: rstyle.me/n/db...
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I'm seventeen years old, and embarrassed by my generation. So many things are considered "okay" or even "cool" that are unbelievably disrespectful now a days. I am grateful to be raised by my grandmother. She taught me everything from fashion, how to speak elegantly with confidence, how to set a table, eat a meal, make small talk, walk up and down the stairs, and even taught me posture by making me balance books on my head! Many young girls my age look down on any *classy* femininity like it's below them. Showing midriffs, wearing tight and short dresses that convey the wrong message, cleavage spilling out of tops, showing too much leg that again, conveys the wrong message, chewing with mouths open (So unbelievably common), forgetting simple "please" and "thank you's", slouching, being on a phone at the wrong times, and the list goes on! With my grandma and your videos, my sister, best friend and I all hope to start a ripple effect to bring sophistication back in style. Thank you again!
Yes, indeed.. you are so correct in thinking this way. Brava!! Continue to be the good example and surely complimentary ppl will be attracted to you.
Kudos to you and to your Grandma for teaching you these beautiful life lessons.
You hold a LEGACY in your hands(not a cellphone)congrats🌉
Okay great now I’m panicking, I wasn’t raised with like that at all and I’m learning and am now going to a nice restaurant and my dress is above the knee, however It’s hard to find a nice length dress and just a nice looking dress for bigger girls. But this dress doesn’t show cleavage and is a flower print and summery.
God bless you Ocean 🙏❤
I’m am only 14 but recently I have been getting more and more embarrassed by my friend’s and family’s behavior at all the nice restaurants we go to. A lot of people think I’m rather weird because I’m so bothered by unladylike behavior or even clothing in inappropriate settings (especially school). I just wish so many more people in my generation would give a little effort to manners and etiquette!
I have a sister your age who also feels similar embarrassment when she goes out with our family. As uncultured as my parents are when it comes to etiquette at the table they are quiet and kind, so the most impolite and rude thing I think one can do is educate others at the table about the proper way to eat/ embarrass them in public like that. Expressing any dissatisfaction then and there is never appropriate, especially to those older than yourself. If that person is enjoying their meal, regardless of how you feel about their habits, it can ruin the general mood of the table and hurt their feelings.
You will be miles and miles ahead of your peers as an adult! You should be proud of yourself! Sincerely a 37 year old!
You are no doubt an observant, astute, and classy teen. I have been appalled at the decline in manners, grooming, and especially etiquette in America over the last 3 decades. It seems to me that many of us have become crude and boorish. No excuse for it. These things are common sense and for the benefit of others,a sort of social lubricant and ensurer of a pleasant environment for all. You can be a shining star, one of our hopes for the future.
Sometimes you are just born with class 😉
I'm 15 and I can relate very much with what you are saying :)
As a former waitress myself, I love how many of these etiquette points emphasize respect for your server and the wait staff as a whole. Some people get a misconstrued idea that being difficult to the wait staff is how you act in a very formal restaurant when that is so disrespectful and all around classless. Nothing shows more grace than kindness and respect to all :)
I agree. Thank you for sharing, Amanda! Have a GREAt week!
I was always taught that one should consider the server as the hostess.
Agreed, having worked in formal and informal settings an witnessed it first hand.
It's very disrespectful to show cruelty to wait staff and restaurant.
They hate to see you coming.
People that deserve the MOST respect, in my opinion, are wait staff, table bussers, housekeeping, maintenance. I run large healthcare facilities and the people that I often reward the most are 99% of the time housekeeping, wait staff, dining / kitchen, maintenance. Without any of those essential employees, the entire operation crumbles. I have promoted and trained people from those areas into management roles and they almost always turn out to be great leaders!
you really got me when you said 'leave people better than you found them'!! that is lovely! thank you, Tracy.
S M P I love Tracy’s tips!!
@@ArtsyCupcake 0ppptpppplol
It is lovely.
I used to have "restaurant night" at home with my boys when they were young to teach them manners in a comfortable setting.
This a great tip! Thank you for sharing :)
Great idea. Thank you for sharing! We use to do role play with our children, as well ... in many areas: stranger-danger, life-skill scenarios and how we handle those situations, etc.
That is such a great idea, Susan! 🍽
When my kids were in elementary school I would serve tea (using my good china) every day after school. It was great practice for them and created great memories for them now. I was also comforted in the fact that I was confident that they could go to any restaurant or someones home and be respectful.
That’s brilliant!
This should be required viewing in all schools.
...apart from the wine
These fat ass women on this panty shaper commercial are annoying
I learned this in Home Ec at school. Great refresher. I would love to share this but not sure how it would be received
I agree with the comment - most of us need that little effort to keep good manners and not only at the table
A very beautiful lady @---/-----
One evening at an Italian restaurant here in Perth Western Australia, a man who was dining on the table next to my young son and me, bought my son ice cream to reward him for his impeccable table manners. It was a Super cute moment.
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing!
I always told my children that the smaller bite made the food taste better. Also a good way to keep them from eating too fast or choking.
Kept Grits Such a smart idea!!
⁰
Thanks a lot ..you really covered most of the important guidelines on dining. most impt
@@ArtsyCupcake q
I love how these videos not only teach manners and etiquette, they also teach you how to be a KINDER and more CONSIDERATE person. Thank you Tracy!
That is the point of manners and etiquette!
Yes, totally agree!
You are absolutely right because when you are raised in poverty you are not taught that you should do this or that at the table. You are just glad that you are eating
Thanks for the video to teach us....Thanks.
merci
Another helpful tip is to sip wine from the same spot on your glass so you don’t have multiple lipstick smudges. 🍷 Thanks for a wonderful video!
That is a great one!
Yes, great idea! and one that I actually do if I am having lipstick transfer.
If you lick the spot before sipping the lipstick won't adhere just make sure no one sees it
@@hannahroebem2820 but if you're caught, they will think we're crazy 😂
If you can remember to do that you are not having good conversation! I would just blot well beforehand 💯😉
This is how my mother raised me. I am 49 and I find the polite conversation more difficult these days. Everyone wants to own the room or talk about political things or have strong opinions. I find myself avoiding social gatherings.
True story: I was hosting a vendor meeting at the company I work. The first hour went great! But then all the women started talking about politics and had strong opinions about people who vote a certain way. Then the vendor started talking about her son masturbating in the bathroom, or as she calls it, their "sexy bathroom". Needless to say I chimed in that this conversation had crossed many lines. She is not the vendor who won the contract by the way. You see, I feel that social media has made everyone 1) into narcissists, meaning they care only about what feels good or appropriate to them and disregards others around them and 2) most people have lost their sensor button completely as we as a society are supposed to be okay with everyone and everything.. when it is not always okay.
Anyway, enjoyed your video. You remind me very much of my mother. You are a breath of fresh air.
Glad you enjoyed the video. Thank you for sharing your unfortunate situation. Yes, very inappropriate!
Thank you so much for these videos. I come from a broken home and I was never taught much about table manners (we didn't even eat in the same room or at the same time). Now that I am married and I have adult friends, I feel like a slob because I have no idea how to conduct myself. I'm constantly asking my husband what I'm supposed to do and if I'm being polite. Now I have someone to learn from.
Thank you Haley! God Bless!
Just as long as you conduct yourself in a quiet, presentable manner, I think you'll do just fine 🙂 obviously most things like chewing with your mouth open and scraping the metal utensils with your teeth are things most people already know not to do, or know they shouldn't.
I consulted etiquette books in the olden days before You Tube, and acquired very acceptable social table manners. They also included lots of information about how o order in company, acceptable table conversation topics, how to handle your coat at restaurants and other people's homes. I felt much like you are feeling when I was nearing 17 and realized that my family had few social graces. My favorite compliments have always been when others have commented on my elegant manners. They certainly weren't genetic :)
Marilyn Coffy - my parents didn’t teach manners either. It was so awkward for me. I fee like I can navigate social situations now but it takes a lot longer when you have to search for the answers yourself.
I am 68 and my great grandmother learned the etiquette or the gentle graces from her husbands bosses wife as they were very refined. My great grandmother watched and learned and was known as the grand dam of our family. How wonderful that you care about learning!
Thank you for putting these videos out there! Etiquette is such a lost art these days. People are too caught up in trying to be "true to themselves" that they forget that the entire purpose of etiquette is not only to make a positive, lasting impression, but also to ensure everyone's comfort. Good manners makes people want to be around you and to have you around again. I hope that someday this sort of thing will fall back into fashion.
I nor anyone else could have said it better. Thank you! Bless you!
Me too.
Oh MY! I pray for good manners to come back in fashion! I personally am not very polished, and i'm easily influenced (both by good and bad behaviors), yet, i think the world would probably be a better place if people had better manners and a bit more self-respect -but without going back to the 18th/19th centuries and class segregation.
Kinda sad no one can just be themselves anymore. Being true to yourself is a bad thing. I'll start acting how you'd like me to act to make you comfortable I guess.
@@odessamanning2399 My point was that ALL people care about is being themselves and in the process have thrown good manners out the window. There is a time and place to "express yourself". The problem is that people these days feel the need to do it at all times regardless of where they are or what company they're keeping.
Wow, I don't know why CZcams recommend me this but I'm feeling fancy
😂
Lol 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 I feel fancy too... Lol 😂 😂 😂
Fran 🤣😂😂😂
I love this so much 🤣 a moooooooooood
😂😂😂
I love how you emphasize that you dont have to be difficult and make a fuss. Thats a really tell tale sign that you are truly classy.
Being someone that worked in hospitality for years, I find it really wonderful how this video emphasizes being considerate and respectful to waitstaff. Many other great tips in this video as well!
I have “night out” or “tea time” with my girls to teach them table manners. Whenever our family goes out or eat at other people’s house, Everyone is shocked with my 3 & 9 year old’s table manners.
Heather That is so awesome!
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That's awesome
I love that!
3 years old?! So cute!😭
I’m European and we were taught table manners from an early age. So this is passed on to our children. We were also taught at school as well.
In school??
😄Not here in america...
How lucky you are.
HoodAzzGoddess Of-Light It’s true grace before they eat also at schools in my area anyway x
I learned etiquette in school and I grew up in the 80's in Florida.
This is why americans think europe is a country
@@sasab1625 Americans do not believe Europe is a country.
I’m so glad I recognise most of these “rules” from my childhood. Even at a very young age my mom would insist on using proper cutlery, asking if we could leave the table, etc. I remember being shocked in birthday parties when kids would eat with their hands and make a mess! Now at age 17 I’m very grateful that I have this ingrained in my mind because of her and it’s basically second nature.
My dad is French and always taught me table manners ever since I was 3 years old.
It has been always helpful to me, especially when I get to meet new people and dine with them.
I couldnt start seeing your vídeo ……but have read all comments! From them I guess you are a master of etiquette
I think many people would find a similar video on cocktail party etiquette to be useful. With balancing food, a drink, shaking hands and talking, it can get a bit awkward. Thanks for your great videos!
Yes please
I agree.
Yes..and much needed with the holiday season soon upon us.🎄
Pleaseee Tracey do more etiquette ideas if you can :)
Yes please!
I am a 50 yr old veteran of fine dining service, specializing in French and upscale Italian cuisines and wine selections. I’d like to thank you for making this. A few things I’d add. When you are ordering please so as quietly as possible with the waiter when he/she is next you. Saying your order loudly above the table is very rude. Elbows!! I can’t tell you how many times I will see billionaires glancing at El lows when they are on the table. Ladies, I can’t stress to you how important it is to hold your flute by the lower stem. In addition, always blot your mouth (never ever wipe) before each taste as you don’t want food debris from your mouth on your glass. Ladies specifically, you should have hardly any lipstick or one when drinking at a fine dining establishment. Nothing is frowned on more that bright red lips on your glasses. Also, never stack plates. When you’re done eating, please leave them there. It can be dangerous. Men, keep your hands away front your faces. Everything you can do with your hand on your face is nothing that will impress your guests. Stroking your beard, picking your nose, just anything. Both sexes should never touch food with bare hands. Thank you for saying where the menu is to be placed after review. On your plate, not on the floor. Lastly - never use your appetizer plate when you have a bread plate and get the knives right. Enjoy!
You're like my classy aunt that I never had 😊 I appreciate your videos a lot because you teach these things very gently without accusing anyone. I've just started living on my own and a lot of these things my parents never taught me so your channel has been very helpful!
Thank you! God Bless!
I have worked in fine dining restaurants for nearly 20 years. This should be required viewing. Thank you, ma’am, this is a great resource.
My mom taught me a lot of this when I was growing up, and this is a great refresher! I wish class could spread around more in this day and age.
We were taught all this at home !my Dad even had me walk with a boy on my head! And my parents took us to fancy restaurants, my brother's and I were all well mannered, and I have taught NY son and stepdaughter also
@@lynndrowns4391 Very nice!
Pleasant advice.
Amen to that. Tracy has class and we are lucky to have this great refresher. Remember many people watch you just because they may not have been blessed to be taught pass on the positive 🤗
Okay at first I thought this video would be too long. But now I have watched through all of it and every moment is full of great information. Thank you for this video! So helpful!
Thank you.
😂 same here! I don’t think I’ve ever visited a H. E. Rest but I had a boyfriend who’d worked or still is ..at one of those 5 stars rest. I learned few good tips about dining etiquette! Great suggestions tho.
I’m s stickler for table etiquette. My boys used to complain about it especially when they had to set the table! They’re older now and appreciate it! Great video 👍
My mother, God rest her soul, taught me all of this. I am grateful that she instilled in me very good manners. Thank you for this video! A lot of people need to watch this!
Great video, there is just one thing that I would like to add...you said to put your menu on your plate or to the side when you are done looking at it. I would suggest not putting it on your plate....as menus are one of the dirtiest things in a restaurant.
Anyway, these plates are just here for presentation purpose.
Same reason, - I wouldn’t place my napkin on the seat & reused.... it ll go to the left of my plate with the clean side on. Or try not to leave the table mid - meal & ll excuse myself, if I have to. Ty for the great topic video!
I was thinking the same, just imagining how many dirty hands have handled the menu before I did...
duh
@@lilyrose4092
I feel the same way with leaving your used napkin on your chair, it should be left to the left
I am glad you mentioned ‘respect’ because that seems so old fashioned these days
Being self aware is good advice.
Also waiting for everyone to be served. Even with your own family.
Classy and thoughtful. Enjoyed your video.
Best 45 minutes I spent on CZcams.
Thank you! God Bless!
We practice this with my young kiddos. We go out to eat once a month and practice our table manners. It’s so helpful to have these good manners ingrained in your mind.
Wonderful Idea!
Thank you for this video. I was alway taught not to touch any of my plates when being waited on. The waiting staff will set it down and remove it. It is okay to hand the plate over in a private home if there are no waiting staff. Also one should always bring a hostess gift to a dinner in someone’s home. Appropriate gifts are flowers that are arranged, boxed chocolates, candles or a liqueur/ aperitif.
You don't announce you're going to restroom, you should only excuse yourself
You say, "Please excuse me."
Yes but obviously if you're a guest at someone's house, you will have to say that you will go to the restroom. I mean it would be weird to excuse yourself and randomly wander in their house.
😀 So saying "going for a slash"....is probably not appropriate
And I can say excuse me I'm g oing to powder room.
Very good Tracey. I managed fine dining for years. Inquiring or confirming side dishes is perfectly acceptable. Also, [seasonal] sides will not be listed or can change. Holding Utensils: Continental is international. Only in the US have I seen this deviated. I encourage everyone to learn this. It's easy, sensible & poised. American appears awkward or unrefined. Cutlery placement when finished is typically signaled placing knife/fork, side by side, between 4 & 6 o'clock. A crossed overlap as pictured (think "X" don't touch - stay away), or a 4 & 8 o'clock 'arrow' formation, signals you're still eating. On the Continent, there are many more positions to signal resting/finished/next course/excellent/disliked. Liked your b + d. Very cute. Thank you, again!
Pip I prefer the Continental.
An excellent refresher. And the comments! You have people asking questions and interacting. Wonderful. I love to see and use good etiquette. Thank you Tracy.
Thank you Jane! Yes, I have a wonderful community of viewers. They so graciously contribute and we all benefit. I especially recognize the engagement when I do such videos, as these! God Bless!
I remember as a very little girl at school in England we had to use a full size knife and fork to eat our school dinners. Actually I remember being very proud because I could do it properly and although I was only about five I knew not to make a clatter with cutlery and plate
Same! And the dinner ladies would patrol the tables, making sure that you were using good manners :) I was shocked when I moved to the USA that I was not able to find a child-sized cutlery set for my Grand Daughter...in the USA they only come with a fork and spoon, no knife! How on earth are children supposed to learn how to use a knife if one is not provided from an early age? In the UK, even toddler cutlery comes with a (blunt, rounded) knife.
I just stumbled across this video now after watching a few other creator's videos on etiquette and I simply MUST say that your inclusion of casual and everyday restaurants alongside the higher end options is wonderful. We aren't all dining in Michelin Star restaurants; some of us get a "nice dinner" at Applebees because that's the norm where we are. You're keeping it realistic for everyone, and that means it's accessible for everyone. ❤
Great information. Even at nearly 50 years old, I still enjoy refreshing my manners memory because I didn't grow up in a environment where proper table manners were a priority.
Also, my goodness you look like Sandra Bullock in the restaurant footage. Lovely.
I fold my napkin in a way before I get up because I make it look clean and presentable "to the table". No lipstick etc...seen, just pretty white part. I dont like the idea of wiping/ blotting my mouth where foreign bottoms have been staying!! You look so beautiful!
My late step mother taught me table etiquette, good posture and general manners and I always enjoyed knowing the 'correct' way to do and be. Although as an adult I enjoy the informality of life and don't feel it necessary to be mindful of everything I do or of being a certain way, I'm truly grateful to know so I can hold myself in different settings. Thank you for sharing this vid as so many people, as you say, will not have had an upbringing that afforded these softer skills nor be aware of the actions that are distasteful to others.
Also it was really I interesting to learn the cross over American way of eating. It would have been confusing to me to see a person eating that way being English. Similar to the 'bd' reminder, we were taught left has 4 letters as does fork, right has 5 as does knife.
Good point and another way to remember things.
I appreciate the reminders about how your behaviour can change the mood of your guests and others. Please and thank you with a gracious smile go along way.
I love these type of videos! You've helped me become even more aware of my manners in a world that's easily becoming too casual and disrespectful.
Thank You! God Bless!
Another note about lipstick and drinking glasses that I learned from the royals. They are expected to always sip from the same spot on the glass so as to avoid getting lipstick all the way around the rim. I just try to do this anyway at home because I hate when the rim of a glass looks dirty.
Hi Danielle! You are indeed correct. This is a must! Lipstick or not. Thanks for sharing!
@@TracyHensel
I wear chapstick to dinner and bring my lipstick to wear AFTER I finish dining, but I still drink from the same side of the glass whenever I'm not using a straw. I don't drink wine/alcohol anyways, so I usually drink from a straw. I'm funny about putting my lips on other ppls cups and glasses lol.
Also, can u do a quick lil etiquette video about drinking, whether from a straw, glass, cup, can, bottle, etc?? How to hold etc?
That would be great.
Thanks for the great videos, Tracy💗
Good advice. Also I think lipstick can be complicated. I know there are certain lipsticks I won’t wear on a date.
It is fabulous that you did a demo in the restaurant of the etiquette rules you mentioned. The DEMO (show-and-tell) is always the most vital part of teaching any skill.😉👍
When I was nine my parents took my brother and I to my mother’s home country in Europe. But before we went we were taught “table manners.” I have taught my four kids those same “table manners!” I did so honestly because the easiest way in the world to eat, once you’ve learned, is with your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right!
I still remember my grandfather smacking my elbows off of the table as a kid. It worked because I now NEVER put my elbows on a dinner table.
Yes, that will fix you!
Same! My stepdad was always so adamant about us not putting our elbows on the table. I never do it now 😊 but the funny thing is that he still does it from time to time.
Another quick tip: never refresh your lipstick at the table.
😂😂😂😂
... Your are kidding me... Really.. Lipstick at the table. Just buy a, good brand that stays on and doesn't stick
@@thisisalbinism2666 honestly, target and walmart have really good matte 7-10 dollor lipsticks! hope this helps!
No make-up in front of people, save for lipstick/gloss/balm when away from the dining table. A lady has the good grace to go the powder room to reapply. No one wants to see it. We are forcing an unwitting and unwilling audience to endure an intimate routine of personal care and hygiene. No one would want to see men clip their nails in public, something I've actually witnessed a seemingly normal woman do on the bus. Not too infrequently, I see women putting on a full face in public these days, SMH!
PREACH SIS! NO grooming at the table take it to the restroom!
Tracy, your way of talking is a gift both for you who have been blessed with it and of course for us, the ones who are listening. You are a complete, pleasant presence.
I’m so happy to find you. My grandma taught me all this but really is hard to watch all these millenniums going thru life with very little manners. I shared this video multiple times already. Big thank you. And keep it up.
C
Love this channel! I think another tip I would add is that people wash their hands before dining, excuse yourself to wash your hands. I see people all the time come from directly outside and don’t wash their hands or at least use a hand sanitizer before eating whether it’s a informal dinner at a friends house or a fine dining establishment. I think that shows how classy a lady can be as well.
C eison THIS
This is true.
I love eating at Nigerian restaurants, because they bring the hot water bowl and the steaming hot wash cloths and wash/wipe your hands for you at the table, after u read the menu and before any food is served.
One of the coolest, most relaxing things, ever😊
Ugh I just don't comprehend how anyone can do this. I always see people eating fast food with their bare hands (no fork, no paper wrappers) after handling cash, using the soda machine, touching door handles and so on. Then they lick their fingers too...BLEH 🤢!
I love your videos! Class never ever goes out of style and kindness is golden.
I so thoroughly enjoyed this, you can’t imagine how much. It reinforces everything I was taught. If only some people took the time to learn a little about what you thoughtfully shared, they’d be better off. You’re kind, caring, sensitive and elegant. Thanks for a wonderful video and God bless.
Tip for remembering where your bread or drink goes: BMW -> Bread, Meal, Wine.
Voilà ! 💖
When I was growing up the table was a constant learning . We were closely watched while eating and if we made a wrong move it was kindly corrected . It is now embedded in my brain I don’t even have to think about it . But this are very very very important skills Table manners it’s part of a good education.
You are inspiring MOMs Trace and your teachings will change many lives . All I can say it’s a BIGGG BIGGG thanks .
Thank you Laura! I wish their were more offered in schools or after School programs would even be nice. God Bless!
Oh yeahhh to me that’s what’s missing in school life skills in many many aspects . If you are not lucky to have parents with the skills well you are toast. And really some of them are the difference between a good life or a nightmare to put it lightly . Money skills organization etc etc . Table manners it’s kind of like a mirror in to your general education and upbringing. You can tell a lot about a person just by the way they behave on a table .
I love your classy lady morals and values. Raised by a very traditional southern family, I too always practice good eating etiquette. One topic you failed to speak of is how to handle your tab when dining out with couples or friends. For me, if I invite others to dinner I plan accordingly and tell the waitress ahead of time that the tab should be brought to me or my significant other. This is done before we either sit down at the dinner table or before our drinks have been ordered. I do this very discretely. If for some reason I am not planning on paying for the entire tables dinner yet I am the one that has invited friends or family out for dining, I will take the lead in a discreet manner by suggesting to the waiter we will have separate tabs. How do you address paying of the meal?
Also when I am having bread I will take my personal butter knife and take just enough butter and leave it on my bread plate. While I’m breaking my bread into individual pieces is when I will use the butter on my plate to each small bite. Soups! Now that’s a topic. There is a proper way to eat soup. By using your soup spoon in the direction away from your body. This is the proper way to eat soup and will avoid mishaps of soup on your attire. 😉❤️
Thank you Tonya! The reason I did not talk about the tab is because that will be it's own video. I have shared before on Instagram Stories. Hopefully you were able to catch that. When I did, I had mentioned that I would do a video solely on that topic, as well as a separate video on Tipping. By tipping, I mean in all areas. I also did a story on that. It's hard to get everything out everywhere. As for the bread, yes, you will see in the video that is what I showed. You are correct on eating soup! Enjoy your weekend!! God Bless!
Thank you! I just came back from a lunch with my future in laws and I watched your video before going out. It really helped me! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really felt comfortable and I tried to be more classy and elegant with my manners and my boyfriend told me they were very much impressed. All thanks to you and your video.
Wonderful! I am so happy to hear! Thank you for sharing!
I just wanted to personally thank you for helping people understand these things! Growing up without a mother, this has really helped me! Thank you 🙏
Very nice presentation. I was taught that you never reach out for your plate when being served and never pass your plate when your done to the server. In addition you will always be served to your right so a slight lean to the left to make it easier for your server is a sign of respect. Also don’t pass or reach for your drinks always allow the server to serve you simply lean to make it easier.
excellent points! we are served meals from the right and once we are finished, they are removed from the left side.
@@taritavirtue good point.
Love it. This should be taught to young people.
Xotchilt Diaz I waitress at a restaurant with a mostly older demographic, and trust me when I say most of them would benefit from this video as well!!
Love it, Ashley! Thank you for contributing! Yes, I agree ... it amazes me how 'older and 'elderly' have lost the art of proper dining practices.
Tracy Hensel Thank you for making the video! I got a lot of tips I can use in the future 😊
I took etiquette classes at my boarding school and I was always taught to never put your elbows on the tip but that was back in the sixties. I love your advice.
Well done! But I couldn’t stop looking at your gorgeous hair.
Wow... Would've never thought it was a wig
@sevengance Lol it's not a wig, she has other videos showing how she does her hair.
Juliann Morris I know, right?!
That hair color shade of chesnut-brown is georgeis and sooooo classy🌉
Yesssss I love looking at her she is like art !!!! I admire her.
What a wonderful video on etiquette. I have clearly been the cave woman at fancy dinners....but not anymore lol
Too funny on the cave woman. Glad you enjoyed the video!
Such wonderful information! I would suggest; Don’t put menu on your plate, menus are dirty.
Thank you Helen! Yes, they are ... eating out in general is dirty.
You should do an “advanced” version of this video addressing some of the lesser known cutlery: escargot forks, fish knives, Demi-tasse spoons- thoes types of very specific-use items that, while rarer, May come up in formal settings.
Realize this video was done years ago, I just found it and love. God bless. Excellent
Yes..I've been waiting for this..I sometimes have a swallowing anxiety in my throat and have to chew and bite small..This happens with digestion and swallowing anxieties . A nutritionist mentioned that if I put down my fork after biting, it sends a sighn to the brain for my food to focus on swallowing.Keeping the fork in my hand diverts my mind to taking the next bite..Thanks for your classy ettiquite tips.
I’m thankful that my mom taught me these things. It also helped being a waitress in a fine dining environment. It taught me a lot of etiquette in regards to table manners. My boyfriend always compliments me on how classy and tactful I am. I take pride in that as a young women in the day in age we live in where being vulgar is in.
I loved watching this because I felt like you are truly being sincere and not being a snob. I grew up going to restaurants that we never paid from the table but ofcourse I was born I 1970 . I was pretty much raised with manners from the south but never had eaten at really nice restaurants and I married a man that had it better than me . I felt so insecure when he would take me to the nicer places . I'm from South Carolina and when we went to Charleston the first time I felt out of place but I got more comfortable over the years. I enjoyed this video because it made me think about things that I was not taught growing up.
When at a dinner party buffet, always take small portions to be sure there is food available for the people behind you! Be aware of the amount of food vs the number of guests. Sometimes I am appalled when some seem to have no manners.
Thanks for sharing Diane! I have witnessed this, as well. Its important parents tell their kids, especially teens and young adults. This is where I have noticed it the most. Often those are the ones jumping in the buffet line first, as well. Another area of concern, as I still believe elderly should go through the buffet line first and loved ones should be offering assistance as well.
How wonderful to find that such tutorials are available! I wish they would incorporate these valuable life lessons in schools ~ Thanks for helping to elevate the standards of dining. Seriously. I love it!
Thank you for sharing, Tracy. I must say that I knew 90 percent of what you have said from my upbringing. I think it is great to have a sweet and lovely lady teaching etiquette to everyone. :)
Tracey Im so glad you are on the channel talking bout etiquette.Americans mostlly
Have not been taught etiquette.my mom taught me a t 5 yrs old.ill might've been three years old.Im happy to have had a very classy mom and grandmother's too.I was very blessed.Amen to you and may. God blesses you.🙏😇👌👍
I learned the continental way as a kid, and is so natural to me now. But I always get compliments. And its really hard even for me to eat at places that don't offer a knife, as most people don't even know how to use it. The only thing that sounded a little different to me is the idea of putting the napkin on the seat. I'm very conscientious of cleanliness and (specially when the seat is more of a fabric type material) I wouldn't want to sit on a chair other people have put their dirty napkins on, or reuse my own napkin after being on a chair many people sat on. Thank you for sharing all of those tips with so much detail and grace. I always learn something.
I was thinking the same thing - hygiene - I don’t want to put it where a multitude of people have sat and then use it on my mouth - YIKES!
I just make sure when I put the napkin to the left of my plate, any markings are not visible to the guests and also not touching the tablecloth / table.
Thank you so much for this video. My parents never taught me this. The only thing they taught me about table manners was to not talk with food in my mouth and to not have elbows on the table that's all I knew. When I was in the 12th grade my teacher taught me about table manners and she was my fashion teacher so I don't know how that was fashion but she taught the class that.
Thank you for sharing, Kendra!
I'm very grateful to have learned most of this from a young age
My 8 & 9 year olds have just finished watching this. We broke it up into sections. Thank you for the tips :)
I love this video....thank you for this!! I suddenly think I should call my mom and thank her for raising me with some common sense!!
Thank you because no one ever taught me proper dinning out practices. I will do my best to practice this dinners Etiquette. You are greatly appreciated for this teaching.
Sincerely
Theresa
I am 23 and I love your channel! You taught me more things about etiquette than my parents and my whole family. Thank you so much.
I am a grandmother and I
Taught my granddaughters
as my grandmother taught me
Born in 1949. I am proud to
this day. It means much to hv
bn brought up with Love building
a strong character, pleasing person -
ality and respect for self and others.
Great video!!! When I first saw that this video was 44 minutes I thought to myself, "What can she possibly talk for so long about?" Low and behold everything was informative and not boring. Once again GREAT job.
honestly did not even feel like a 40 minute video, went by so quickly!
Private User
Yes please!
THANK YOU. I wish more people watched this, I am a server for special events and often see basic etiquette gone. The worst is a cell phone on the table face up and the most horrible is right where the plate will be placed at dinner service. Pouring wine with a cell phone next to wine glass is my worst nightmare. Also People no longer know how to indicate when they are done with their meal, and get offended when I ask ( I never assume) And the napkins....how do so many get dropped to the floor.... I digress. What placement with purse or clutch. When I dine, I typically place it behind me on the chair as it is safe, out of the way, and keeps my posture up to boot! Too often when I serve I accidentally step on purses left to the side of the floor and feel terrible and frustrated. Sometimes I ask them to place it under their chair so it will be safe, I don't want to offend. Thoughts?
I don’t believe it’s a good idea to tell guests where to put their handbags. You risk making them feel self-conscious and embarrassed from being singled out. You never know what the dynamics are among your dining guests. If you’re a server, just like when you’re dining with others , what’s proper is never to infer or point out incorrect etiquette. As a server, you undoubtedly encounter tricky situations but it’s best if you just deal with those silently and professionally as best you can.
Oh, and also, with regard to napkins ending up on the floor, I find that if I’m wearing certain (slippery) fabrics or if if my chair is a bit high then I’m more likely to lose a napkin - or even two, unfortunately!
This video was recommended to me. I am a single, 56 year old woman. I love this video and thank you for putting information available. I am looking forward to viewing all of your videos. To be the best me, I can be. I wasn’t aware of some things in this video.
I feel very honored that you tube has recommended this video. Awesome! thank you for the reminders.
Thanks, I remember my late Dad taking us to Restaurants having food with fork and knife. No noise with the cutlery while cutting food. Tilt the soup bowl while having the last bit. God bless his soul. I miss him😢 He retired as a Assistant Commissioner of Police
What a great video!!! I'm not American. But when I moved to the USA one of the things that I'm very uncomfortable with is when people comment on what I'm eating.
So this is the key to being classy!
You look so elegant when you're sitting at the table eating.
If I show this video to my 12 year old daughter, she would say that you are like her mom. I’m so happy to watch your video. Consider me your fan! My daughter and I have been to restaurants just the two of us many times. Without knowing, reading or watching any tutorials, we acted with common sense. We relate to most of what you teach. You look great. Good luck!
Thank you Elena! God Bless!
Finally, a real lady
Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏🏻
"You are a product of what you have observed "... Yesss
Literately this video’s message at the end could not be MORE TRUE! As a healthcare Administrator of large acute and sub-acute care settings, I have withheld offers of employment for physicians and nurse managers who display abhorrent table manners. While I never nit-picked over the occasional bread buttering mishaps, if a person was interviewing for a top leadership role, yet couldn’t display respect towards the wait staff, were sloppy during the meal, or otherwise just couldn’t pull together basic manners, it was easy to decline offering them a position. After all, if they can’t behave proper at a lunch with me, how will they behave when they are leading subordinates, and how will they be perceived by patients and family members. It is a VERY good weeding out tool, which has yet to fail me or my organizations. Someone expecting a salary of $150,000-$250,000 per year should be able to, at the bare minimum, behave like a proper adult.
(Edit: I will also add that I never give the impression that a lunch meeting is “informal” as I stick to proper dining etiquette and the prospective candidate only really needs to mirror what I am doing. Their failure to do even that, is yet another clue that their observational skills and use of context clues are lacking… and therefore, they don’t deserve a leadership role in my facilities.)
All done viewing the video now. Thank you, Tracy, for the useful information. Some was obvious, some needs to be repeated again and again and some was new to me.
I've heard people say that etiquette is for the rich people or the "better" people but I think etiquette is mainly about respect. Respect for other people but also about self-respect. I feel like this is something that is not done much these days... so every time a male (or even a female) colleague holds a door for me or my male friend takes off my coat in a restaurant, I make sure to thank them because they show me respect.
A male (married) colleague of mine actually told me once how he appreciates that I gracefully let him open the door for me and thank him afterwards because he encountered women who were very dismissive and negative about this.
I also remember when my male friend took me to a nice restaurant once and there was this family (parents and their two teen daughters). They argued quietly for some time and then the father angrily reached over and slapped his daughter. You can imagine how uncomfortable this was for the whole floor and I thought: I don't want to be that type of person. For me, when making a scene, you disrespect not just yourself and the people you are dining with but also other restaurant visitors, restaurant staff,...
Thank you, class and manners are extremely important as it shows the actual caring and respect from one to another. Grew up with chaperones teaching me.
Tracy, love this video.
I know this is not a big deal, but I cringed about setting down the menu onto my plate after making a selection. I’ve always thought those menus are dirty. So many hands have been on them. I know they are supposed to be wiped down by the staff, but not sure that is done properly. 😄
Thank you Irma!
In higher-end restaurants, the plate that is part of your setting when you first sit down and order your meal is generally removed after the wait staff takes your order. It’s not intended to be used for anything you consume so you’re safe from menu germs (and you’re not being too paranoid)!
I love your manner of talking. Just very calm and niceeee
I’m so thankful I was raised with proper manners!! However, I did not know about passing the salt and the pepper together!! Thank you! Great videos! It blows my mind how some of these things need to be said and explained when it’s been so ingrained in me since forever. But it also helps to keep things in perspective, and helps me to be able to teach my children better in the future.