Narcissist Invades, Replaces Your Comfort Zone, Boundaries (Lecture SF University)

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  • čas přidán 21. 08. 2024
  • My first winter semester lecture in Faculty of Psychology, Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russian Federation
    New role of therapists
    Comfort Zones
    Personal Boundaries
    Shared Fantasy
    Pathological Narcissistic Space
    Mortification
    Anomic Societies and Cluster B Pandemic
    Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...

Komentáře • 34

  • @anovember6848
    @anovember6848 Před 3 lety +27

    ...the abuser is like a virus that reprograms the victim, in order to gain entry over boundaries and the entirety of the their prey. Body, Mind, & Spirit.
    Thank you Dr., for you amazing lectures!

  • @chantalraiche1139
    @chantalraiche1139 Před 3 lety +71

    One of the most helpful videos and self help advice to help me understand the stages of narcissism, but mostly, why narcissists will not only ignore your boundaries, yet try to initiate pathological new boundaries that do not make sense to anyone normal. Sam Vaknin, your mastery of this topic and mental condition is second to none. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

  • @claudiomagalhaes1248
    @claudiomagalhaes1248 Před 3 lety +89

    Thank you very much for your content, Sam.
    I firmly believe the worst pandemic of our times is narcisim. I was abused my whole life by it without noticing it, and now that I know what is about, its like speaking the language of snakes, just like harry potter. And woa, there are so many!
    It also really gives me hope to see someone that carries moral values as yours, for the more I live, the more I perceive this reality looks a lot like Sodoma from the bible.
    Thank you again, and have a wonderfull weekend

  • @anneofhearts
    @anneofhearts Před 3 lety +24

    all at one time, you are in battle, you are a spy, you are not sure which side to trust, you are a casualty, you are a prisoner, you are a vital commander on both sides, you are in enemy territory without a compass and you have no weapons.. yeah

    • @anneofhearts
      @anneofhearts Před 3 lety

      @@nd612 take up your shield and continue to defend your fantasy

    • @dinorahdarby4499
      @dinorahdarby4499 Před 3 lety +5

      The ONLY solution is NoContact. Nada!

    • @dinorahdarby4499
      @dinorahdarby4499 Před 3 lety +1

      Anne- thank you for speaking the truth!!

  • @pattyrooney1323
    @pattyrooney1323 Před rokem +3

    Thank you for this. I listen to a few scapegoat podcasts that also hit the nail on the head.

  • @anastasiamaniatis4873
    @anastasiamaniatis4873 Před 3 lety +5

    Brilliant ... Spot On ...
    The relationship becomes the market place to trade Pain ..

  • @reece2087
    @reece2087 Před 3 lety +16

    My ex narc would violate my boundaries by constantly aggressively grabbing my boobs (mostly in the car) while him or I were driving or initiating sexual acts in public but would never hold my hand or put his arm around me in public. He only got off by forced sexual arousal me being the one who was forced to do these sexual acts on him in order for him to be “aroused”. “Or else” to put it lightly. This is just a short summary or an example of the boundaries that were crossed sexually. Makes me sick

    • @JH-td4mn
      @JH-td4mn Před rokem +1

      Sounds familiar. Sorry you experienced that behaviour.

  • @dr.mariecarriere-ljungqvis5612

    Excellent lecture, Professor. 'Vacillating mortification' is an excellent description of the tumult experienced by a NPD-type unable to tolerate Winnicott's primitive agonies. Your students at SFU are fortunate. If I had attended a lecture like this during my training I would have much quicker been turned onto the morbidly fascinating psychodynamics of the Cluster B! Alas, in those days our instruction was really much more unsophisticated ;) Ah, now I am nostalgic... you almost make miss my days in clinical practice... almost ;) Best to you, Marie.

  • @conniepotter2908
    @conniepotter2908 Před 2 lety +5

    18.30 my exact thoughts, the abuser hypnotizes some way and the victim allows this?

  • @doloressosa4351
    @doloressosa4351 Před 3 lety +60

    You professor Vaknin are a true gem. I discovered you this year, and since then I’ve realized I was wasting my time listening to self taught experts having anything to say on the subject of Narcissism. Have you seen the movie “Ex Machina” directed by Alex Garland? As much , or little, that I have learned from your lectures and videos, I can’t help but see similarities in AI and a narcissist. Am I correct in this observation?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Před 3 lety +32

      Watch my interview "Internet: Heavenly Narcissism Factory".

    • @doloressosa4351
      @doloressosa4351 Před 3 lety +7

      @@samvaknin I’ll definitely do that. Thank you.

    • @dr.mariecarriere-ljungqvis5612
      @dr.mariecarriere-ljungqvis5612 Před 3 lety +9

      @@samvaknin Dear Dolores, That is an interesting question which also interests me. Vaknin has also spoken and written on AI and narcissism specifically in reference to Mori's concept of 'Uncanny Valley'. You can find the relevant material via Google or the CZcams search function. Best, Marie

    • @anna-mariamargariti4308
      @anna-mariamargariti4308 Před 3 lety +10

      Dear mr. Vaknin, your content is getting increasingly more amazing! However, characterizing God as “invention” is not only narcissistic, philosophically infantile and unequal to your intellectual caliber, but also an abusive, satanic idea used currently to destroy society, don’t you think?

    • @markgalbraith312
      @markgalbraith312 Před 3 lety +4

      @@anna-mariamargariti4308 Vaknin is honest to say he is a self certified narcissist. God is an invention until proven otherwise. I fear God exists. Don’t let ideas of God cloud the issues and the science, which we are only just waking up to.

  • @windysmith7367
    @windysmith7367 Před rokem +3

    Why did my ex narc say to me in a rage, “ You don’t know who you are or what you want”. You need help. I thought where is he getting this. Is he talking about himself? Was this projection? It was totally out of left field.

  • @whenitrainsitpours1073
    @whenitrainsitpours1073 Před 2 lety +2

    Excellent

  •  Před 3 lety +8

    Sam thank you once again an extraordinary insight into narcissism and the psychosis of changing populations. Your research and knowledge is ground braking as we progress research of the human mind.
    Challenged by your ending - surely the great minds of the world hold some help for us?

  • @adulio98
    @adulio98 Před 3 lety +24

    Sam, will all of the lectures be available publicly?

  • @myrtalopez151
    @myrtalopez151 Před 3 lety +3

    You Dr. helpme so much to understand. I feel so lonley some times, other i so much on peace. I think i live my life by my self enyoing the beautiful things as the natura, but i have to say, i miss so much to see end to be arround good and kínd aunthentic friend,. isome times i ask my self, if Im totally normal, or Im totally wrong in my percepcion. I hope one day have the chance to talk by person to you, and see all my true inside.
    Gracias Dr. Vaknin. Lo siento por mi mal ingles.

  • @conniepotter2908
    @conniepotter2908 Před 2 lety +1

    33.33 comfort zone isn’t comfortable47:27 he flees the scene

  • @windysmith7367
    @windysmith7367 Před rokem

    I don’t know if I was in a shared fantasy or not but when I wouldn’t believe his lies about secretly talking and texting a former ex and told him it was a dealbreaker for me…he went into RAGE so he could hurt me.
    I told him keeping secrets from me and talking to exes behind my back crossed my boundaries and was not comfortable with it. He lied and denied this and thought it was “my problem”.
    Ex was someone he was with 18 years ago and had degraded her to me and said he had blocked her.

  • @eduardonavarro5924
    @eduardonavarro5924 Před 3 lety +9

    I’ve researched your channel and other than the cold therapy and ur videos on nothingness wich is more of thinking, a realisation process, what tool can a narcissist use to stay in reality during his “sevrage” ( weaning ) in other words once the realization is made, what then ? Especially during this pandemic.

    • @canUfeelMYface
      @canUfeelMYface Před 3 lety +7

      I know a lot less than sam but I may be able to point you in a direction that helps.
      Reality and our perception of reality are not the same thing but our natural state is to act as if or perception of reality is reality.
      Staying in touch with reality is going to require the person to make unconscious processes conscious processes.
      Search phycho-epistemology here on CZcams. Harry Binswanger gives the talk that I'm referring to.
      Understanding how perception functions and malfunctions would give you the tools needed.
      This is no walk in park and you need to be highly qualified if you intend to apply this to anyone other than yourself.
      Seeing and admitting that we're wrong can be difficult and draining, but cultivating a true inner humility can help with that.

  • @vibehigh5280
    @vibehigh5280 Před 3 lety +3

    Hi Prof Vaknin. Thank you for sharing your knowledge to the world. Do you have an online archive or library?, I've been watching your lectures here on youtube for quite some time now, and I would like to read your lectures as well.

  • @ccSkydog
    @ccSkydog Před 2 lety

    I still enjoy your vids. .difficult in parts for me to accept.. but recovery starts with understanding ones own mind . its a crazy place .🌎🫀🫁👀🧠🖖