A Cat That Barks (Not Speaking Parents' Language)
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- čas přidán 17. 11. 2013
- This is my story about how I don't speak Chinese.
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Credits:
Written by: Steven Lim
Directed by: David Wai
Starring:
Steven Lim (Self)
Wen Cui (International #1)
Danny Tao (International #2)
Alex Shedron (Interviewer)
Ben Wagner (Friend #1)
Justin Lu (Friend #2)
Ying Lin (Friend #3)
Music:
张悬 (Zhang Xuan) --宝贝 (My Baby)
Liquid Latin -- Chris Rae
The Best Has Yet To Come - Ella Fitzgerald
The One You Say Goodnight To -- Kina Grannis
Sovereign -- Kevin Macleod
Blu Dream -- Elyon Beats
Special Thanks to:
The Ohio State University
Royal Ginger Asian Bistro
Mama and Papa Lim
Nathan Cho (apartment)
David Wai (bedroom)
Ying Lin (BioScience Portfolio)
Merissa Chiu (Chinese textbooks)
Steven's Nainai
You can support my channel by subscribing: / stevenkwlim
My social media:
Facebook: / stevenkwlim7
Instagram: / stevenkwlim
Tumblr: / www
Twitter: / stevenkwlim - Krátké a kreslené filmy
To anyone here who speaks a second language: Teach it to your kids along with the regional language!! I was born to a Mexican mom and a Dutch dad, but since we lived in Mexico Spanish was the only language that I spoke. 14 years after my birth, here I am, living in the Netherlands, feeling like a cat that barks because even though I'm Dutch I don't speak Dutch, and also missing half a school year in learning the language. Kids learn super fast when they're small and they won't have trouble speaking in one language with you and in another language with everyone else. You'll do them a big favor by making them bilingual at age 5! Really consider it if you're bilingual and you're planning on having kids.
Hey man, late reply, but I totally agree. Children should have the privilege/opportunity to grow up with both their parents' native languages, else it's lost forever. At least at a native level.
If you still live in the Netherlands you must've learned more of the language by now. But I just wanted to encourage you a bit. Knowing English and Spanish should make it easier to understand the language and its rules. At least it seems way easier than Spanish. If you ever need advice, feel free to write me.
Hoi ik spreek nederlands(hi I speak dutch)
I'm glad to know there are other people in a similar situation as me. I was born and raised in the Philippines where everyone spoke Filipino including myself. But we moved to Canada when I was 6, so I got to start school from the very beginning, where we learned English. Since moving here, I have completely forgotten how to speak my native language, and can now only understand it. But sometimes not even all the time. My parents speak Filipino at home but I respond in English. They want me to learn it but I can't, and it's so embarrassing to try I feel like a disgrace. My oldest sister can speak it and my other sister can speak a bit, but still more than me. It's not only the language but my overall identity that feels lost. In school, there are a lot of filipinos, and all my friends are white. My friends see me as the foreign Filipino girl when I don't feel Filipino at all. Being in the same class as a bunch of Filipinos makes me feel horrible because they always talk in my native
language and I can barely understand. They act more Filipino too, if that makes sense. Meanwhile I'm basically a super white person. It sucks because I connect with my heritage and see it as what makes my identity. I am Filipino. But I can't even speak the language, so I feel less of a Filipino. Sometimes I think people don't even know I come from the Philippines and I want them to know because it's a part of my identity, but I'm also ashamed to even tell them because I don't feel fully like myself. But, as a result of living in Canada and having an English education, I'm really good at English and enjoy writing stories even. I feel like I don't belong to a certain ethnicity but I'm still me. So it's okay.
+princessxiaou
I feel you. Though my case is sort of stranger... I've been born and raised in the Philippines my entire life, but I speak English most of the time. This is because 1) the schools I've been going to promote English maybe a bit too much (my first school actually BANNED the use of speaking the mother tongue; we had to pay one peso per Bisaya word we spoke) and 2) my parents, my mom in particular, encouraged me and taught me English as a child; she said that English skills will help me a lot in school, which is definitely true but still... I've learned Bisaya mostly through my own personal efforts before but since I've moved to a school where most speak in English, my Bisaya speaking skills has slowly been diminishing as a result. I have trouble pronouncing even the simplest words now. I hate it. I hope I'll do the effort to re-learn my language all over again someday. It's very embarrassing on my part.
missingmochiguman Wow that's terrible! I don't understand why they would ban speaking Bisaya. I understand that it would force you to learn English more but that's still really sad :( I understand the embarrassment. For me it's worse when I try because I have a clear English accent. It just doesn't sound the same you know? Frankly I don't think I'll ever re-learn Bisaya, because living in Canada, I don't really have a use for it. Although it would be really nice. The only thing I'm really sad about is the fact that my children will have to learn it from my parents and they won't get to really experience my culture through me.
princessxiaou I sort of feel you. My father is from Dubai and my mum is from the Philippines, so I learnt English as my first language and I'm fluent in it but whenever I speak Arabic I feel embarrassed because I keep having grammar mistakes and it's hard for me to express things in Arabic so I would just express it in English. I have a speaking exam after a few days and I'm pretty sure I'll get an F because in Arabic we have the traditional Arabic and a more casual modern Arabic, and I speak the modern Arabic better than the traditional but sadly I'll have to speak in the traditional Arabic and its such a shame that Im horrible at it. As for Filipino, I can't talk nor understand it, I do know a few words and a couple of sentences but overall I suck.
+Buthaina I'm glad at least that we can all have sympathy from others in similar situations. That sucks, but it's good that you are learning and hopefully you'll get better. Good luck on your test!
Thanks so much for making this video, I can relate to a lot of your experiences, especially the one with the language gap between you and your grandma. Even though I speak mandarin, my grandma on my dad's side speaks another dialect, so every new years my dad would ask me to call her and wish her a happy new year. Every year I dreaded it because I couldn't speak the same dialect, and it embarrassed me that I couldn't speak in their dialect, while my cousin who lived with them, could. It almost made me feel as if she was the better granddaughter. There were also a few times when I would visit my relatives in China and they told me I had an Americanized-Chinese accent, but in America people told me I had a Chinese accent, and it just made me really confused and frustrated; it made me feel like I did not belong anywhere. But anyway, I just started watching your videos today and I am already a big fan, so I just wanted to say thanks and I hope that you will keep making more insightful videos!
haha yes, you get me and my life :) thanks for watching my videos!
I teared up. I feel this struggle to connect. I come from a long line of cajuns and after years of learning and practicing French, my great grandmother has no idea what I'm saying in French. Then, I discovered I am also English, German, and Italian. Probably Native American too. I'm the product of 2 hippies and I don't drink or smoke or anything. I'll never fit in. The "creator" is my rock and my foundation, in whom I live, and have my being. This is just an excellent, excellent, excellent story.
As a Chinese adoptee, I was raised in a white family in a completely white community and I lost my heritage, my culture, everything that I should have grown up learning about. My parents tried to raise me in a way that I could feel proud to be an Asian-American and feel connected to my roots, but I don't seem to fit into either culture. I'm too Asian to be "white," but I'm also too "white" to be Asian. I have one foot on either side, but I don't belong in either. I've had friends say that I'm not really Chinese or Asian because I didn't grow up in that culture, and it hurts because it is true in a way. I don't know about Chinese culture, I don't know the language, or the customs, yet people still assume that I will know the answer when a question concerning anything Chinese is asked. I don't seem to share any of the benefits that come with being Chinese American, such as the bond with other people who share the same culture, but I do experience the the bullying and the racism.
Mei Singer that must be painful im korean but lived outside for a while so im in korea right now and underatand korean culture (for the first few years with a western mind i could not) but now i do. i feel like asian americans go through not liking the culture their from because with the western mind, asian culture may seem vain. I hope you can learn your chinese culture.
That sounds really hard... though you can learn about the culture and language if you feel like that would help you. whatever friends and people in general say, all that truly matters is that you find a home within yourself and find a way to be comfortable with who you are :)
This made me cry Its so relatable. My family speaks cantonese but I speak english.
THIS IS ME AF. Recently I realized the same thing, that I couldn't go through life denying a part of me. I'm half Taiwanese, and while I was learning Mandarin when I was little, I completely forgot. I was embarrassed to speak, and always felt like it wasn't necessary. Right now I just realized how stupid that was (although I was so small, I can't really blame myself), and my dad didn't really want to force me to speak the language, so he didn't obligate me. Now I'm regretting not learning, but I know it's never too late to learn, so I'm trying to relearn. It's never too late guys! And although it might be hard, it really isn't that difficult or impossible.
+MagentaPhilosophy Holy cow, this resonates with me so much. As a Chinese adoptee, my family moved us to China when I was 5 for a year, and I became fluent in the language. However when we moved back I refused to speak because I was embarrassed, so I forgot it all. I began studying Chinese again in college (it is my major), and so have also been studying abroad in China. The looks people give me when I tell them 我聽不懂 as an ethnically Chinese person are always of the effect of "are you stupid?" or "what is wrong with you, how do you not understand?" I agree that it's never too late to learn, though, and my time in China has also taught me so much of the culture that I missed out on growing up!
darkdragon166 Wow! I appreciate you sharing your story. I'm really eager to learn mandarin again tbh, but having no one to practice with makes it very difficult! How did you end up going to China again? I've been considering going to Taiwan, but that would be a very different experience (considering I don't know the language) and I don't know if I'm ready!
+MagentaPhilosophy Good luck on the studying! I've found that the saying is true; practice makes perfect! I'm in China for study abroad, which I'm really enjoying. It gives me lots of chances to practice speaking with people. I was actually in Taiwan this past summer at Tunghai University. I liked Taiwan a lot, although I would not advise going in the middle of summer. It gets crazy hot there. The people are super friendly, though, so if you get the chance, definitely visit!
darkdragon166 wow thanks so much! Maybe I will ask my dad about it at some point in my life. How did you find the study abroad program? (If you don't mind me asking)
I found it through my school, but it's called the Alliance for Global Education. I did an intensive language program in Beijing this past semester. This coming semester I will be on an IES Abroad program in Shanghai. I've also been hearing about a graduate program in Nanjing through Johns Hopkins that sounds interesting.
thank you so much, i can show this video to my friends so i dont start tearing up trying to explain to people the Chinese disappointment i am lol. I can't speak Cantonese, when i do it sounds really ugly and i feel embarrassed because i forget some words and the accent is so terrible. i guess understanding Chinese isn't enough for me to call myself Chinese. its even worse when my parents compare me to their friend's daughter or son that can speak it but i cant. i feel like i dishonor my family. but i am trying!! when my aunt or grandmother calls i try my best and they accept it.
I thought I was the only one who felt like this! I'm korean, but I don't know korean and I only understand simple sentences. Even worse I've always been told I look Chinese or Japanese, so it feels extremely humiliating and embarassing in front of other koreans. I also feel extremely uncomfortable with other koreans, who are really connected with our background culture... it sucks
I am on the same boat. My dad is from Vietnam, my mom is Laotian, but I look Chinese!
This film is exactly how I have been feeling recently. My cultural identity has been mostly lost due to different reasons and circumstances, but the end result is the same. People don't always expect me to know how to speak Spanish, but when they learn I'm Latina, they ask me if I'm fluent, and it hurts everytime to say no. It isn't anyone's fault that I don't know; in fact, I've been taking Spanish classes at my school for the past three years, and I'm pretty good at it. But the hurt still stays there, the guilt and insecurity at not knowing the language I SHOULD know. In recent attempts to learn the language, I have switched my phone to Spanish, begun talking to native speakers, and tried listening to native speakers and mimicking it. My sisters don't feel the same cultural separation I do, and it was beginning to feel like I was alone. Thank you so much for making this film and making the hurt lessen. This was wonderful. ❤
That teacher was a bitch. It's absolutely true that fluency in the language of your country is a necessity if you want to be a successful, fully integrated and contributing member of society. However, your brother's teacher failed to see the merits and countless benefits of being raised bilingual. Mandarin is undoubtedly one of the more useful languages in the world-- especially today! If I'd been that teacher, I wouldn't have discouraged your parents from speaking their native tongue at home; instead, I would've advised them to speak Mandarin as well as English, and to try exposing you and your brother to both languages equally as the two of you grew up. You most likely would've ended up fluent and without an accent in both languages.
My teacher told my mom the same thing and now I can't connect with my other family members
+Jules Sylvester I think it would help them learn English better since there's something you can compare it to and switch back and forth. It goes with any other language. My friend spoke only Farsi and would translate her Farsi books in English as a way to challenge herself. There were words that weren't translatable, but she would describe it using English.
Even tho that may seam like a good idea, I personally disagree. I think at home they should have maintained and encouraged speaking Mandarin as much and as long as they could. Because they live in an English speaking society, and they presumably don't spend all their waking moments at home, the exposure is still there, and while it may take longer, they could better develop both languages. Because of society and school, there would be the constant exposure to English, which will one day surpass the home life Mandarin. Especially if the parents do speak it with those children, it seams like English does take over more, and the native language is left behind. Because no matter what they will have to learn English( to live in society )it's more important for them to have at home focused on learning Mandarin, because it's not the necessary one to live in society and can easily be neglected.
That's just my experience and thoughts on the situation. Hopefully it made sense
Absolutely fantastic video. I completely relate, as I am too a Chinese-Malaysian born and raised in Canada (close enough to USA haha) I used to speak Cantonese well, but I started to lose it as I got older. Now, I can only listen, and barely speak it fluently. I really like how you showed our side of life through this video. Subbed you a while ago, and I'm glad that I did. :)
awesome that i have Canadian viewers! i'm glad you subbed, and hope you continue to keep up with my videos~
Same.. I’m I know I’m late but I am actually fully blooded Malaysian (ok my ancestor
Were Indonesian) and at a young age I move to Middle East and since I went to a fully private American school I had inherited.. I still understand Malay but my Malay is like very low grade. Good to know someone has the same problem as me
I'm Tamilian, but I ended up having up teaching myself Tamil only when I was in my late teens. This video resonated so much with the whole experience of being 'neither here nor here' kinda feeling that comes with not being able to speak your native language. And the title! I love the title adfgsdhgasf!!!
This was beautiful! I thank God for His love. If it were not for Him it would be hard to overcome and understand these obstacles on this earth! Love your vids, man!!
Amen✝️❤️🙏
Your videos are amazing, so heartfelt and moving. I am Caucasian and learning Mandarin Chinese for a few different reasons, the main reason is that I hope to adopt from China one day and I want her to always have her language and culture for the same reasons you addressed in this video. Language and cultural identity is important and something that should be preserved. I am sorry that you lost your language but I am happy that you are making an effort to recover it. Good luck with your studies!
谢谢分享
Erin Brown hey i know you wrote this four years ago but i am an adopted kid from china and i struggle with not being able to speak chinese and feeling not chinese enough. i hope you continue to learn chinese
My parents did the same, I had to relearn polish when I was around 10, and still speak it badly
Ripley Jones me too (but Vietnamese) I can understand a lot now but when I open my mouth, I sound horrible.
thank you for this video.
thanks for watching and sharing :)
Gosh, your experience with your Nainai hit home. My grandmother's dying words were in Slovak, her first language (though she was born in the US). But she, like your mother, never passed down the language. Nobody knew what she said... I am trying to learn Slovak now, but it feels so stupid for me to even try. It's much easier to speak Japanese, which I am practically fluent in, because nobody expects me to do well, so nobody criticizes me either.
I wouldn't say that. You can learn Slovak and Japanese at the same time or after you learn Japanese. I think your Grandmother's death is perfect motivation for Slovak. Sadly though' I'm African American, so I don't have the privilege of knowing what my family's language was. At least you know.
litlos1994 Sure, I can learn both at the same time (technically. Resources for learning slovak are pretty close to nil in the US), but that wasn't my point. I mean from a perspective of acceptance. My non-native japanese is more easily accepted because due to my physical appearance, there is no expectation for me to have even the most basic understanding. On the other hand, if I went to Slovakia and my terrible Slovak it would be hardeder because physically, I look slavic.
You've got my fill sympathy about not knowing the language of your family. That has to be truly difficult if you want to reconnect with your roots. However, the fact that I know what my ancestors spoke probably has to do with the fact that I'm only 3rd generation in the US. My grandparents, while born in the US, all spoke the language of their forebearers. In a couple of generations, with a little more mixing, that will become increasingly difficult.
Well you can't let the question of acceptance stop you from your cultural goal. I'm not in your position but I know for a fact that it's all about persevering despite the letdowns or whether people accept you. At the same time there will be people that will encourage you and people that won't. It's not all that bad. This goes for all native speakers. Anyway, there's a website called italki.com and they have tutors that help you learn most and I mean MOST languages (lol). You pay a small fee and you Skype them. It's cool I've tried it with Spanish. Also you can Skype other learners and teach them your language too and vise versa. I think even if you don't have a lot of resources you can learn from tutors there. And Czech by the way is mutually intelligible to Slovak so you could learn that first. Whatever seems better I guess. Hope that helps.
Strawberria That's so sad, possibly i could try help you with that, slovak consists from 90% of my native language, didn't she say ľúbím vás or something like that? It means i love you all, but i expect you don't remember much if didnt know language before.
Vojtěch Mikloš I am learning Slovak now, but nobody in my family recorded what she said. That was over 10 years ago, so we will never know. We had a nurse for her towards the end who was Polish, so for the last 4-5 months she spoke Slovak with her while the nurse spoke Polish back. Unfortunately the nurse didn't arrive until after she died.
This video is so relatable! I am a full-blooded Chinese, but my biological father passed away when I was little, so now I have an American step-dad. Because of this, I grew up with my step-father and mother speaking fluent English, so I know little to none of the language. Almost all of the times that I have met another Chinese, they've spoken to me in Chinese, and I had to suffer the embarrassment of being unable to respond to what they're saying. Thank you so much for making this video! Now I feel like I can maybe follow in your footsteps, and try to learn the language myself as well.
Owh my God, I can relate to almost every second of your video..
I'm ethnically and look like Chinese just like you, but I was born and raise in Indonesia..
Every time I go to other neighbouring countries which has massive Chinese background people like Malaysia and Singapore, I've always felt ridiculed cause Chinese background people in those countries are ALWAYS speak in (at least) Mandarin Chinese to me every time I met them for the first.. And they show that awkward unbelieving face when I revealed that I don't understand any single word of what they've said..
Thanks the Lord, I know that it's no accident or disaster for me to be a Chinese descent but lived in another country and exposed to my homeland's culture and language instead of my ancestors' one.. And I believe, it's the Lord's will for me to bless my nation and homeland where He has planted me in..
i connect to this so much...i'm mixed between chinese and german and it wasn't possible for me to learn either language with only one parent speaking it in my house and i'm always expected to be able to speak chinese because i look asian, but i can't and i can't even communicate with my family on either side. this is really well made
Dear Steven,
I just like to say thank you for this video! I can relate to every point in your video. I am a immigrant kid myself. My parents are from Turkey, but I am born and raised in Germany. The first language I learned was German and for myself I have the feeling it is my mother tongue, but well it is not. My Turkish is really poor and I feel really the same way like you in the video. I wish I could improve my turkish skills, but I'm to embrarrassed to actually talk because people make fun of me or they gave me strange looks, because they don't understand why I am so bad at it. Actually in Germany I am the weird turkish girl that speaks "just like a native!", well folks I born here, you know? It is my home.
And in Turkey I am the weird German girl. "Why is your Turkish so bad? Why do you lost your roots?" I often get the feeling I am just a half of something and I lost my other half.
But actually I see nothing wrong to be like the way I am. I want to have the benefits of two cultures, and I think that is not bad at all.
(Sorry for maybe poor English, but I wanted to really thank you for this.)
You really touched my heart with this video, thank you.
aww this is so sad but inspiring
we'll be cheering for you all the way!
and I love how he's left-handed
Wow, I can relate to this so much. While I know some of my native language, I can't speak it well at all and my vocabulary is REALLY limited (like seriously). This has caused a lot of frustration and shame for me. Things like picking up the home phone are made 100 times worse because the person might only know Vietnamese (and there is the occassional Chinese person) and I have to try and communicate in my crappy Vietnamese (or quickly pass the phone to my parents). Greeting relatives on New Years is embarrassing as heck or talking to them in general really.
Worst thing is that I even went to language school on weekends but I feel that it didn't teach me much. You were expected to know lots of things (they weren't taught) so I fell behind quick, I was a loner and teachers never really gave anyone extra attention if needed (more of a talk to the whole class, read this and do that exercise). I got frustrated and convinced my parents to let me learn Mandarin, this time it wasn't as bad (I managed to make friends around my age) but once again teachers expected you to know things (I didn't, both my parents only speak Vietnamese, though they are half Chinese themselves) and the teaching method was the same. Thank you so much for making this video, made me feel much better about my situation now that I see that I'm definitely not alone in this. And oh my god this turned out to be really long so I'll end it here.
Great job, Steven! I really enjoy hearing your story
Man, I can totally relate to this. When I was younger, my family spoken Cantonese at first, but then switched to English because we moved to America. Oh man, how I wished we stuck to Cantonese. 'Cause we could always learn English later. After all, it was all around us. And plus, my siblings and I were home-schooled, so we didn't have to worry about not understanding teachers. Now, when we go to our grandparents, there's always this language barrier that separates us. I don't feel close to them because of that. And don't even get me started on other asian people trying to talk to me. I just get all embarrassed and say, "I don't understand" in ENGLISH. Dang, now I wanna go take classes and learn my native language so that I could finally talk to my grandparents and have a decent conversation with them. Thanks for the video man (even though it's two years old), it's really relatable for me. :)
+ERMAHGERD WUT I think it's a bit harder to find classes that teach Cantonese considering it's difficult to teach/learn and Mandarin is more common. I was able to go to a Cantonese school when I was younger, but it's in the East Coast (NJ to be exact) for grades K-8 if you're interested.
Here's a small lesson:
Cantonese is different when reading and speaking. Spoken Cantonese is "slang" and is always changing, but reading and writing Chinese is more "proper" and what Mandarin-speakers are used to. If you were talking to someone, you wouldn't talk to them way you would read. It would sound like you're an old prophet that traveled centuries into the future. But there are also characters for the "slang" you're speaking. I always find that fascinating.
***** Lol. Old prophet. xD But thank you for the tips! Cantonese has alooot of slang. I kinda find it funny. xD
omg!! I can relate!! I was also born in america, and my parents are from the Caribbean. So being half dominican and puerto rican many people think I speak spanish, when I didn't learn it. I understand most of what is being said, but do not speak it fluently. I am learning as surround myself with my grandma and my family. She's funny because she gets upset I don't understand, but i'm trying to speak it and she teaches and helps me. I totally understand you and I love that put 2 corinthians 5:17. God Bless!!!! :)
Very relatable story! Always wanted to make a video about something like this. Good job, bro.
oh snap, the great andrew fung commented on my video. thanks for watching, i'm glad you enjoyed it.
There are some parents out there who purposely choose not to 'force' their child to learn the parent's native language - I can't understand these people. They fail to see how important it is to their children that they are able to connect with their own culture and not to mention family! It saddens me that they wouldn't want to share the wonderful opportunity of language with their own children. (Not that this is what your parents did - but some parents actively choose on their own).
Somewhat funny sidenote: I can't understand my father who has a HEAVY Texan accent. I was raised in New England, he left when I was young. Sometimes my mother forces me to talk to him on the phone when necessary and I hate it because I literally have no clue what he's saying.
Yeah my mom stopped speaking in full after we were 2 and we can only understand to some extent, but not anything else. She stopped cuz she was worried we wouldn’t know English, but she didn’t have to stop fully. And she couldn’t put us in a class cuz she was busy. It makes me sad especially when kids in my class can and all my relatives can.
Thank you for making this video. It was extremely insightful. Don't give up on learning Chinese. Spend time with your grandmother. I"m sure she's touched that you're working so hard to be able to communicate with her. A person who doesn't speak English can be a very good teacher.
Forgot to say thank you for these videos. The topics you mention are really relatable and it's always an eye opening experience to see another race go through the same struggle as me. Also like the way you present these topics in your videos 👍🏾👍🏾
that's beautiful! thank you so much for sharing. God bless :)
thank you for sharing this!!!! It is fantastic!
Thanks for sharing this story. It's so cool. Good luck in your studying!
So funny how I feel i had such unique experiences but I RELATE to every *feeling* in your videos! SUBSCRIBED. Please make more.
Steven thank you so much for posting this video!! It really home, and I feel a lot better now :) All my friends can speak their ethnic language, so I often get made fun of for not knowing Chinese (my ethnic language) well or for my American accent when attempting to speak it. I also had the same language barrier with my grandma (the only grandparent I had growing up), and was unable to really connect with her before she passed away. I'm inspired by your determination to learn the language better and your words of encouragement. I hope you've been able to communicate more with your nai nai over the past couple of years!
Thanks for sharing your story, Steven! That takes guts, and you do it with grace. Best wishes to you.
thanks for sharing. really shows points many of us can relate to. and really inspring and true summary at the end also.
Steven, this is a great video! You did really well in capturing the struggle of being a first generation American. And great biblical reference :) Good luck!
Loved this video!! Even though I can speak Chinese quite well, I can understand most of these frustrations. I would love to see more of these Asian American culture inspired short films in the future!
Great video man! It takes a lot of confidence to put all of that out there for people to see. Mad respect yo..
thanks ian. it was tough to do but i wanted to be as real as i could
If I could give this a million likes only then would I be happy. Great video Steven, keep it up! :)
thank you so much for this comment! i hope to continue making videos for a long time :)
This hit so hard for me. Thank you for making this video
This is amazing!!!
yayyyy turned out great!!! :)
thanks ying! you are a star in the making.
Steven Lim is awesome
Really beautiful. Thank you.
This is a wonderful video, I can definitely relate to how it feels to not be able to speak( or in my case, speak very well) one's cultural language. It's one of the most frustrating things I've ever had to overcome. But thankfully it can be done :) Thanks for making this video.
I'm so glad I found this video; I've never related to something so much in my life. While there wasn't teacher who told my mom to stop, I still never got around to learning Cantonese or Vietnamese. I never realised that there were other people who felt this way and I feel a lot better about myself after watching this. Thank you, Steven, for reminding me that there's still time for me to start speaking to my grandparents in our language (and they've been proud of me!) and reminding me that God loves me no matter what and I am who He made me!
No video has ever spoken to me as much as this one. Thank you for sharing it :)
This video is great. Thanks for sharing your story! .)
I had the same experience as your brother in pre-school and it was hard at the beginning
and my sister was like you she never learned our native language
mmmhm
This was incredible. And you seriously just pretty much captured all of my feelings about language in one video. I've spent a ton of money learning Chinese now that I'm in college, and it is so difficult. I grew up in the midwest too, and constantly heard "say something in Chinese!" which I couldn't do... And the language gap with my grandma is the same way. Keep up the good work, your videos are so insightful and touching.
What a beautiful video ❤️ God bless
This video reminds me of something like Wong Fu. Perfect lighting and storyboard. Loved the ending, too. Keep it up, Steven. You've done an awesome job!
comparison to the great wong fu?! thanks moses!!
i never comment on videos but i had to say thank you so much for making this and your others on saying i love you to parents and siblings. theyre so relatable and it's so comforting to hear someone else say it all out loud. i can't believe i just found your channel only today! also my parents are from singapore so it's especially nice to hear your mom's accent (lol is that weird to say?) anyway thanks again. i'm binging on all your videos right now haha
Great video, Steven! Courage comes in many forms. Have fun and it'll happen faster. :-)
This was REALLY good. Thank you for sharing this.
i'm glad you took the time to watch it!
Such a beautiful video❤
Oh my god! This is appauling! I am an Early Childhood Educator with young children from several different nationalities in my care. I have children who speak English, French, Spanish, Mandarin, Mikm'aw and Cantonese where I, myself, only speak English and some basic French. Some of my kids are bilingual, and some are not. You know what? I deal with it. I work with it. You learn to be animated with your body gestures and facial expressions. Talk to the parents, learn a few basic works/sentences of the child's native language. That's what shows the quality of an educator. It's no different than working with a child who is non-verbal. It's NOT our choice or our right as teachers to pressure a parent like this! Look at the consequences it had on an entire family!! I can't believe this happened to your family. As a daycare worker, I'm ashamed. We are there to foster a child's development and growth, not to hinder it in such an debilitating way. Steven, I'm so sorry for this to have happened to your family. You're mom is right, this IS the dumbest advice I've never heard a professional give their clients. It was completely selfish on her behalf. She didn't do it for your brother's best interests, it was to make her job easier. That's not right.
I'm really glad you're like that. Unfortunately I know many many people who had parents who mistakenly thought this was okay. I entered preschool knowing none of the language spoken. Left it knowing both that and home languages.
I'm very grateful for my preschool teachers, and teachers like you, so thank you
Beautifully written and made, Steven. It will be lovely to see more work of this calibre after Buzzfeed. (Not saying your work there is bad, it is excellent - Worth It is SO WORTH IT! - just saying that this is even better)
My identity comes from my creator! God bless you Steve!
Steven, bravo on this video! This is such a relatable video for anyone who has ever struggled to connect with others either because of their identity or "otherness" because they don't fit people's assumptions. Not many people realize that Steven, I and many other people who don't speak our parent(s)' language have always questioned ourselves because we feel or felt stupid and are often shamed into believing that because of what society expects of us.
Ahhh subscribed! I'm learning Chinese right now in Shanghai, and it is soo hard. I can imagine your struggle in learning it. 我希望你会说中文说得很好。加油朋友!
I really liked this! Nothing similar to my own situation except some things that I feel are kinda unique to my country and situation...but it has more to do with culture and the current mentality here than language. Good video!
Hi Steven! I love this video. It's very interesting to watch from the point of view of someone with parents that only speak English. I apologize for your experience and I just want you to know that there are many Americans that don't mean to offend you, and are genuinely interested in your culture.
this is very sad but inspiring as well. as a parent of bilingual child I sometimes feel like giving up but then I remind myself that our language might not define who we are but definitely makes us see and think differently. more languages give more ways to express yourself and connect with a culture.
Hi Steven, thank you for making this video. I know other people who are in the same situation as you, and I understand their struggles. I was raised bilingual by my parents. They put a lot of effort in me speaking/writing/understanding these languages and I'm so glad that now I am able to perfectly speak both of them now and to understand and speak to my grandparents. I'm glad to know you're taking Chinese lessons now and that you are reconnecting with your culture.
I really like your videos and this one really hit home. Would love to see more although most of your vids are a couple of years ago. Don't know if you are still activ(?). I feel the same as you (though it's not Mandarin but with an Akan language) and it's nice to see others in this comment section with similar experiences. I feel less isolated or ashamed. Wish you all something to smile about 🍀🌺❤
Aww... This is so relatable. Born Singaporean, but only knows English and Chinese Mandarin. Often being questioned why I am unable to speak Chinese dialects. All the best in your Mandarin learning journey. 加油！
thanks for always watching and commenting bluecookie! awesome how the stories are the same regardless of what country we live in
Stopped by to watch the rest of this video after you showed it at the MAASU workshop. I definitely relate to this and have found myself with similar insecurities. I've started taking Mandarin at my university to help a little. The only issue is that my family speaks Teochew, so unless I force myself out into a Teochew speaking community (hard to find), I fear losing what little of the language I do know... ):
With that said, thank you so much for creating this video!
This could be my own story. Thank you so much for making this video! :)
Hey man! I feel you !! I am a Malaysian too. Since young, I was enrolled into an English medium school and never learned any Chinese in my life. I can't even write my own name! I carried the same shame for the longest time. I was uncomfortable when I was asked if I was Chinese at all. I have since overcame the shame. I am learning and I am doing okay. Still can't read or write. But I can order food now. Good start huh! Anyhow, hope this encourage you. Keep up the good cheer bro!
awesome job learning how to order food! keep it up :)
This was great. This is literally my life. Thanks for making something that speak volumes in so many second and third generational Chinese Americans. Also, thanks for reminding us that our identity is ultimately found in Christ alone. You're awesome and keep doing what you're doing bro!
appreciate the encouragement! thanks for supporting me :)
Steven, I just came across this today and let me tell you, this was really touching, especially the last part where you were trying to talk to your grandmother. If there is a language everyone understands and is connected to it is the language of "love" and I am sure you and all of your family members feel that connection regardless of your current ability to speak their language, it's not what we say but what we express what matters most. :)
As a parent myself, I can understand the enormous pressure your parents must have felt when asked to stop using their language at home in favour of English so your brother's school performance was not impacted. They did what was requested probably thinking it was the right thing to do and were probably convinced they would actually be helping you and your brother if speaking mostly or only in the language of the "new land" they chose to raise their family.
Good for you for trying now to learn more about your parent's language as it is a way to connect more to the roots of your family, and if you are surrounded by friends who actually speak your parent's language I'm sure they'll be delighted to help you out.
So, please let us know of your progress now that's been 1.5 years since you posted this. Blessings.
I am so glad I grew up learning my language. I think it's time to send this to my friend who thinks that speaking your own language is "nerdy" and "stupid".
I completely understand your sentiment. I've moved to the UK in my early teens from mainland China. Even though I can still speak Mandarin fluently now in my 20s, there have been times when i've met other Chinese students from mainland China who have commented or sniggered at my 'strange accent'. The worst time was when one girl said to me in the middle of a conversation (in Chinese): "Wow are you a BBC? Say more things. I love the way THEY speak!"... I've never felt so embarrassed and insulted in my whole life. It was almost as if she was speaking to a clown for her own amusement, and not to me as a person. This experience felt a whole lot worse than the times when I was bullied at high school for having a Chinese accent, especially at the start when I was still learning English.
It is pointless trying to define a person based on their race and nationality. So what if I don't completely belong in one group or another? That doesn't make me any less of a person. Anyway I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished in life so far. Don't let other people's prejudice stop you from achieving your full potential. Also I think it's great that you are trying to bridge the gap to your extended family by making the effort to learn the language. Keep up the good work! Love your vids btw! :)
I love how you acknowledge God in your videos, great job Steven! I'm Malaysian Chinese btw :)
kinda late but thanks for making a video! Actually i experience this things on a daily basis even though i live in the same country as my ancestors. there are 2 languages spoken in Kazakhstan (russian and kazakh), i can speak only russian. even though i tried to take language classes and speak in conversations, people still shame me for not knowing kazakh. not only people who i know shame me, even strangers and kazakh language teachers. this things completely killed my urge to study (at some point in my life i actually called myself half kazakh so people wouldn't complain )(sorry for mistakes)
This is amazing!I know how to speak Vietnamese and English.But sometimes when the elders speak,I can't understand.And it was pretty hard to understand.Yes,I was born and raised in Cali.I can relate to these.You really know how to create videos.But I do love and express my being Asian.And I love myself for being Viet.I take classes every week.And of course I can always speak to my parents and family correctly,but I've never used the hard phrases.Your videos are amazing,and I love watching them
Thank you for making this video, I can't believe I found this now. I wanted to cry of how much it relates to me. I'm Mexican and Salvadorian but, can't speak fluent Spanish. I can understand it perfectly fine if someone else is speaking like my parents but, I can't have a decent conversation. Growing up was difficult for me because I had latino friends yet, they would criticize me for not knowing the language or blame my parents for not teaching me. I felt isolated and not Hispanic enough. Now, as 19, I have been practicing my language by speaking and reading Spanish. There are times where I do feel embarrassed for not speaking correctly but, luckily people correct me and I take note of it. Once again, awesome video!
aw, i know this was 3 years ago now, but that was beautiful [:
I am so glad this video exists. There are so many people out there who are the same, and so many people who don't know they are spotlighting those folks awkwardly.
Hey this is an awesome video! Reshare it!
I absolutely love this video Steven. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. This touched my heart and it's something I relate to. I'm half Korean and half French yet I barely speak either language. It's frustrating, especially when I want to speak to my grandparents or other family members.. So I recently decided to teach myself both languages so I can actually laugh, smile, and connect with my people and family members. I also love how you took it all back to Christ. I think that's beautiful and I truly respect and admire the way you create/share content without being afraid of sharing your faith. This is another topic I relate to and it's something I'm trying to work on. Anyways, thank you again for being open about your experiences as an Asian American and Christian. It actually helps so much and your openness about your faith reminds me to fearlessly pursue Christ and glorify his name in whatever I do.
ummm...im really sorry to hear that ://
but can we be friends and help eachother by exchanging languages??
i speak both english and french aside from my mother tongue language ....so maybe i can help you .....if you want ? :)
Thank you for making this video. You portray your experience really well. My experience is the opposite of yours but you make it possible to understand. I have had friends L.A. and Asia have similar experiences to your's. Thank you for sharing about your experience so that the many people who had similar experiences have more of a voice, and so that people with different experiences like me can understand. Also, your brother's teacher were ignorant and foolish. I have a lot of compassion for you. Because of your very bad advice gone through a lot. I look forward to translating this video for my wife. She is learning English. She has never been to the U.S. Most people in this part of Asia assume all Americans are white. They have no idea the diversity of certain parts of the U.S.Thank you for being bold enough to share about your experiences.
I know I'm late to the party, but I just wanna give you a big hug right now, you are a precious cinnamon roll.
daym
this resonates with me so much
not being able to speak tagalog is a huge pain, even though most of my relatives can speak good English...
Beautiful history and it really touched my heart, I hope that you can speak Chinese fluently and feel confident and great about yourself Steven! Besides I'm fluent in my mother tongue, my fiance is Indian and I'm also going through the journey to learn another idiom, sometimes it feels so embarrassing when you have misspells and wrong pronounce.
Love your videos btw!
This made me cry, but in a good way. I'm adopted and have faced this everywhere. Though I haven't found the courage like you to start learning my native language. :(
great storytelling. kudos~ p.s. J is still an amazing actor i see
i only get the best and brightest actors!
this is awesome. I sympathize and empathize (although I'm Af. Amer. there are a lot of similiarities in my life to yours and having that distance.). LOVE that you talked about your Creator and how you were Created. I do wonder if you did learn the language. Hope so and if you are still on your journey don't give up.
Great Video Steve! I can relate to your story. I feel that way when my parents expect me to be fluent in reading, writing and speaking Chinese when I am an adult, which I am, which is sad because I am not completely fluent in any language expect for Spanish and English. Also, translating letters was the worst for any American Born Chinese, I believe.
Thank you for making and posting this video! I'd also have a very similar experience with your struggle. I am Chinese as well; however, I don't speak Chinese. Crazy, right? (I also work in a Chinese restaurant, where I am almost entirely clueless on what the Chinese chefs are saying - now that is even more crazy, huh?) Well, my reason for that is different from yours. It just that my parents never really enforced me to speak in Chinese. Though, it makes me feel regret that I don't know my parents' native language and have a weak identity toward my ethnicity for many years. I am also trying to learn Chinese; I am taking Chinese classes in college next year. Though, the rest of my family speaks another dialect as their dominant/primarily language (kind of a bummer that I still might not understand them), at least I could speak to my parents more clearly. Good luck in your studies!
This is inspiring. I'll try harder learning my ancestor's language.
Omg my dad got the same advice I'm not sure if it was from the teacher but he told us we could only speak English in the house. I'm from Somalia by the way. I can understand it but it just takes me longer to find the right words and sometimes I'll mix English and Somali. He blames me for not being able to speak Somali well 😒
its really sad what u have to go through for just being you.... anyway i think you are awesome ...and cute :)
It is so relieving knowing that there's people like me out there. I am Chinese but I was born in Spain. I can speak basic Chinese but yet not good enough to have fluent conversations. Sometimes I still do feel ashamed about it.
Thanks for the video!
I related to this so much. My dad is Greek and speaks it fluently, but he married an American woman so although I grew up hearing Greek sometimes spoken around me, I never properly learned it, only picking up bits of the language and common phrases. Every time I had the chance to practice with someone, I decided not to because it's too embarrassing, just as you described. I've made it a goal to be fluent by the end of quarantine since I have more time to study, so hopefully I'll achieve that. Anyway, great video!
This hit so hard. Especially the last part. It pained me so hard to not be able to have decent conversations with y grandparents. And now theyre both gone.
We have a similar story ... up to pre-school , all I spoke and understood was Chinese. When the pre-school teacher told my parents I would be "handicapped", My parents went "total English" and the demise of my Chinese skills began. I now only speak and read English and have no comprehension of Chinese at all. Your video has come at the right time (to make a New Years Resolution) and has given me new motivation to pursue (re)- learning my heritage language. Thank You and God Bless You for your determination to learn and motivating others to do the same. Happy New Year (Gung Hay Fat Choi) :)