r/TooAfraidToAsk - Resist Temptation? 🌈
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- čas přidán 25. 07. 2023
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#reddit #theclick #subreddit - Zábava
My mom tried to claim bisexuals don't exist cuz everyone always chooses one or the other in the end. Her argument was "after all, I find both men and women attractive and I'm not bi!"
"Uh, mom... I have news for you...!"
That's... Kinda sad tbh. I kind of wonder how many people in our parents generation are just in denial like that.
Either that, or she's conflating being able to judge attractiveness from an abstract standpoint to being attracted to somebody, but I think the previous is more likely
💀
@@pennyforyourthots To be honest, I was a teenager in the 80s and early 90s, and it was routine then for magazines etc to say that it was "normal for girls to have crushes on other girls" and "it doesn't mean you're not straight". I can easily see why people would internalise that, especially when combined with the whole "if you don't have equal attraction to everyone, you can't be bi" thing that was also going around at the same time.
I need an update on this story…
There was a male professor who transitioned to female.
She wrote a book about how differently she was treated as a woman.
Even being mansplained by a male professor on her subject of expertise, and told to read papers she wrote and published under her previous male name.
I wish I was a fly on the when the man explaining it finally figured out it was the same person.
OMFG
Yea I think I did research on her. Very annoying.
I also heard of a guy, female transitioned to male. He kind of hated the difference in respect for how he was treated. He became a big femminism guy because of it, because it's utter bs that he was so much more respected while a 'man'. He transitioned very quickly and passed very easily; so no one knew he was trans until he told them.
i love this actually
For the period one, being grossed out by actual period blood is totally normal, but if you're grossed out by unused period products like tampons or pads, but you're okay with unused bandages, you should really think about why that's the case
Yes.
Also, if you're fine with people saying they need to go to the bathroom, but get freaked out if they say they're on their period -- it's all gross, but you're only being weird about the one thing.
Being cis female, I've ALWAYS been grossed out by period blood, including my own (since that's mostly the only kind I've ever had to deal with)
For what it’s worth, I get grossed out by unused dog bags and bin bags. Thankfully it never extended to bandages or period products, but I could see a non-problematic reason for it nonetheless.
Is your profil picture supposed to look like the bisexual flag or is it a coincidence
as a genderqueer person, if my future partner doesn't call me "my idiot" the relationship is over, they need to show everyone they are willing to put up with all my bullshit
Ah so wholesome, that's the kind of relationship I want too
I love that... Might steal it.
@@renepeters945I’m stealing it too. Is that ok?
Um no thanks but you do you
My husband and I use weirdo/weirda occasionally. ❤😂😊
The reason LGBTQ people are weirder, because I do think there are a little truth in it, is because we are already different and don’t fit in so what’s a little more. Once you break the norm and is considered different there is no going back and you can let all other parts go as well and just be yourself.
Ya, there's nothing inherently wrong with being weird. Everyone's a little strange anyway
Also engaging in cutler and activities that actively celebrate 'weirdness' can be very validating
I have a teacher who had the same realization. He isn’t gay, but he is autistic. When he got his diagnosis, he finally realized why people found him weird and avoided him, despite him trying his best to make friends and be a kind person. Since he couldn’t change it he decided “screw it then.” He is still kind and friendly, but he doesn’t give a crap about what anyone thinks, and have tried many new “weird hobbies” for a man in his 40s. Like ballet.
And now he teaches my class, which is made for autistic people. Whenever anyone seem to feel insecure about being weird, he always tells them. “Yeah, you probably aren’t ever gonna be completely normal, but no one is. Besides, normal is boring anyway. Try your best to not care, and life will be so much more fun.”
Can confirm, once I came in terms with... well myself, I realised that there are no rules to being an adult (other than the laws related to harming others) so I just decided to do things that make me happy even if it may make me seem odd to others: For example I am awake during the night and sleep during the day, which actually helped my mental health (I get overwhelmed by the cacophony of sounds and scents that are forever present during the day time which leads me to having headaches a lot), I also dress in more old fashioned clothes and just in general look like someone who walked out of a movie set or a play, because I feel more comfortable in these clothes (all of them trifted and bit worn out, so the fabric is softer), I carry my sketchbook with me everywhere and might just sit down to sketch something, I wear makeup and jewellery (which isn't something that usual to men where I live, but I have very androgynous appearance and use make up to make myself more masculine).
At one point I came to the conclusion that I'd rather comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable with my presence, and if seeing a gothic metal head vampire makes people feel more comfortable to be themselves, then I guess that I'll keep up with whatever it is that I am doing, being comfortable while being myself. So yeah, it just is realising one thing and then having multiple realisations and choosing happiness and authentic version of yourself.
I think that’s about it. A lot of straight/cis people tend to not want to deviate from the “norm”. So they hide or ignore things that society says is weird. But lgbtia+ people are already “weird” so they don’t hold back and explore themselves more. What makes them happy?
Just remember y'all, it doesn't matter if you're gay, straight, man, woman, enby, trans, cis, black, white, asian, brown, native, rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, able-bodied, disabled, neurodivergent, neurotypical, or anything else. All that matters is that you're human, and therefore I hate you ❤❤❤
Based.
I concur!
Omg same, my kindred omg
As HellsingAbridged!Alucard said, "I hate everyone equally, and there's no-one alive that can understand my sexual preference!"
Such a mood
Thank you for your equal and unbiased hatred.
@@Daelyah che che che cheeeeeeeck your privilege.....
The incel community was initially created by a woman as a support group for people that couldn't find dates, then it completely derailed.
Problem with people who can't date is most of them is really ego issues and lack of confidence...But the problem is people tend to turn nazi when superiority complex isn't let go
@@unchartedraider7547 The orginal group was for disabled people, who lack in self confidence to date. But since that girl left the idea of Incel, some stupid people ruin that.
@stopgbt im burning YIU
@stopgbtGo out
@stopgbt Breathe in the gay. Become the gay.
Does it smell like rainbows?
Anyway, congrats on your personal growth, I hope you friends & family are supportive to your coming out
I love Click tactfully trying to avoid saying, "And then I became a goddamn smokeshow and I noticed people treating me differently." Points for humility, lmao.
It's on fire because you're too hot when you wear it as a cape.
@stopgbtStop spamming and go out
Fr 😂
Also, "I've gone as long as a year without... adult fun times"
Uhmmmmmm
I think people that are openly LGBTQ (me included) stop trying to fit the box of what is considered "normal", we embrace every quirky aspect of ourselves, which again means some. people think we're "weird". Most straight people are not "normal", their simply afraid to be thought of as anything else.
When not being straight breaking gender stereotypes also seems to be more acceptable.
Normal is what is typical, weird or more correctly abnormal is atypical.
Being heterosexual is normal because heterosexuals are the majority.
My sexual orientation is: Piss off I'm gaming! / To much work for to little reward.
It depends on your definition of "weird" & "normal". I think country music is weird & being uber religious is strange also.
I knew as a young little goblin that I was far from normal. Things just slightly made more sense when I finally realized in high school that I was also far from being straight... 💗💛💙
@@nigredoooalgown6245I agree, but the terms abnormal and weird come with a negative connotation. Here's the def for abnormal off the top of google "deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying."
So calling all minorities abnormal isn't entirely correct or healthy. Instead only minority traits/things that are inherently negative or bad should be called abnormal I think (at least, in casual convo).
Also, normal has a few definitions. One being something that occurs naturally. So you could say mutations and other nontypical or uncommon things are normal because they occur naturally. Under this definition having a minority sexuality (which occurs naturally) is normal even though it is not the most common sexualty.
Not yelling at you btw. Just wanted to write out some thoughts I had. Discussing the use of language and terminology is always kinda interesting to me cuz how arbitrarily humans give words meaning and yet word choice can have an extreme impact on how one's words come across. Have good day!
As a non-binary person, if my partner called me a snorgenblogen I would marry them that same day.
as another nonbinary person i think if someone called me a snorgenblorgen in person i would become alloromantic
Snorgenblogen
What's a snorgenblogen?
@@cloudykid7278When a snorg and a blorg love each other very much
@@notoriousgoblin83Shhhh no one is ready for that kind of knowledge yet.
I swear, "Being gay is a choice" is the biggest red flag of in the closet and internalized homophobia. Saw a conversation once that went like that :
"I don't have anything against gay people, but I think they should not live this livestyle, and should live a straight livestyle."
"Are you aware that people don't choose their sexuality ? I mean did *you* choose to be straight ?"
"Yes, I chose to be straight, I could've been with men but I didn't because it's sinful."
"..."
What I would say is that you aren't born straight or gay, and aren't born wanting to be in a relationship with anybody, because you were just a baby. When you grow up to be old enough to have a crush on someone, then you have to make a choice: do you accept that you might end up liking your own gender and that's okay or accept that you just don't have the same connection to your own gender. This is a tough decision for people like me who grew up with parents who didn't agree with LGBTQ+, since we feel like we have to be straight and not support LGBTQ+ if we want our parents to keep loving us and being there for us. It's a scary point in our lives, since in our eyes we'd have to risk disappointing our parents who love and care for us to support a group that we aren't part of, so that's why they had such a homophobic view.
@@StarHope-kt8jo Born that way versus a choice is a false dichotomy. As a baby/child I obviously had no attraction but I'm sorry to tell you that I'm not at all attracted to or even had a crush in women, so that doesn't seem universal, sometimes people are just gay. If you want to differentiate something being a choice from not just look empirically, you can see what someone is sexually attracted to.
That's because you made the choice to believe that you are gay and become part of their group, therefore refusing to agree with ideas that go against the group, such as mine since it goes against your believes. I won't hide it, it happens to me too. I made the choice to believe that I am straight and I became part of that group, therefore having a hard time agreeing with ideas that go against the group, such as yours since it goes against my believes. Even if it's hard, sometimes you can't always pull the blinders on ideas that go against your groups and beliefs, because you will miss out on so much doing so, only the information of your group available to you.
@@StarHope-kt8jo That's cute and all but what I mean is that PHYSICALLY I GET NO ERECTION OR OTHER PHYSICAL REACTION TO ANY LADY. Like, I get what you think is true but, like, you can stare at a dude's crotch to see what he's attracted to.
It's not like being trans or whatever, where the only person who can feel how man/woman/nonbinary you are is yourself.
In the case of attraction you can literally see what a person is attracted to (or not), at least sexually.
You can see in their eye dilation, heart palpitation, seminal fluid emission (or vaginal), penis erection, porn consumption, like, jeez... (no pun intended) Be more experimental on your observation rather than basing on your own head, pick a guy you know, show a variety of hot guys if he shows no sign of interest he isn't gay, if he does he is gay or bisexual, simple as that. Same for attraction to women.
1. I tried to be smart and stuff but I am too young to do so TwT
2. I am straight but I don't have a reaction to looking at hot men because I'm not the type to get crushes on random people I just met. From what my mom told me, you only begin to get a crush on somebody once you get to know them more, so of course you wouldn't fall in love with people you just saw on Google Images.
3. Even if you get a short term crush on someone, you would not start wanting to have sex with them the moment you see them.
4. I don't know what half those words mean and my mom won't tell me what they mean, the only reason I can understand what you are saying is my mom telling me it's stuff about sex.
5. What if the person looking at hot pictures doesn't feel attracted because they literally just saw them and has never met them before
Anyways it's my bed time so bye!
Yep. I've had people assume I'm straight simply because I didn't express interest in girls. My complete lack of interest in boys was apparently completely irrelevant.
It was the opposite for me. Everyone at my middle and high schools thought I was a lesbian because I didn't want to date anyone at all. They also thought I was cis too, but then again so did I because literally did not know what trans was.
@@wintergray1221 oh I got that too. Either I was a lesbian or I was forcing my best friend to cheat on his girlfriend (who was also my friend) or I wanted nothing to do with any of it. The severe whiplash between those three is astonishing. And yeah, I thought I was cis because I didn't know trans people existed.
Years ago I came out as asexual to my mum. Trying to explain what that meant I said that I just don't feel sexually attracted to anyone and don't get sexual urges/being horny, and my mum hits me with "You're not asexual, that's how everyone is, I'm like this too!" Uhhh, mum... I got some news for you...
My parents used the line of "you just haven't found the right one yet" and some other ones that are very well-known around the ace community lmao
Same. I think my mother takes it personally because after a conversation about how she wouldn't go in the water at the beach one day, despite wearing a swimsuit, she said "I don't put things up there" (I didn't change the words, I've never heard her say tampon in my life). Like hmmm, you sure you're straight?
My Dad told me the same thing 😂
Fuel for the argument that it’s genetic
@@helenlewis2510 After hearing my grandma say, paraphrased from when I told her "I like a girl at school pls don't h8 me", "oh, everyone thinks they like girls as a teen, it's fine". Definitely genetic.
I refer to my non-binary partner as my “joyfriend,” but “meatmate” does have a certain appeal
"Joyfriend" is actually excellent lol.
It works!
I've always loved "datemate"
yeah i love the term joyfriend, it's so cute!
my gods "joyfriend" is absolutely adorable
My grandmother was raised in a very backwards time. There was racism and homophobia in her. But despite the beliefs she was still one of the kindest and most accepting people I've ever know when actually faced with the people she was raised to hate.
A few months before she died we were talking and i told her i met a guy online and he was very kind to me and made me feel really appreciated, which at 19 was very new to me.
With a look of deep concern she asked if i thought i was gay. But not concerned i might say yes. I could tell she was worried that i wasnt sure and that it was hurting me to not know. She didnt care if i was gay, just so long as i was ok.
I told her i didnt know, at the time i really didnt.
And she just said well if you are it's ok, we'll get through it. I know she meant my coming to terms with it and the way it would change expectations.
Maybe she never really got over the things she was taught but she had enough love and good in her to know people are people and to be understanding and accepting is the right thing to do.
This is such a sweet story. I'm sorry for your loss.
@@conlon4332 Thanks. It was a long time ago but I'll always remember that.
@stopgbtdie bot
Your grandmother is proof that you don't have to accept or do the bad things you've been taught as a child. I think most people do this. The ones who get the most attention are the bad ones.
You had one of the best grammies ever.
(Sorry there's an attention-seeker in the thread who's trying to matter in one of the lowest, saddest possible ways. They don't.)
*imagining a lil Granny statue..... :)
On the "unattractive people are treated differently" one: This also comes down to ableism, queerphobia, racism, and fatphobia. People being unabashedly queer is seen as ugly and/or childish. Fat people are seen as unattractive in general. POC are more likely to be stereotyped as dangerous. Visibly disabled and/or neurodivergent people are seen as ugly and deformed.
As a visibly queer, visibly disabled, neurodivergent person who has wide hips and thick thighs--yeah, we are treated differently.
Idk if I'm visibly queer but I'm visibly disabled, neurodivergent and overweight. I get you!!!
I'm non-binary and just asked the "what are you supposed to say" question to my partner. She just replied "dickhead". I love her.
That is a fantastic answer
She's a keeper.
Some of my friends use “joyfriend” which I think is really cute lol
I just call my partner “dumbass”
I'd be cool that
I think "freak" said in a specific way is the most loving term of endeerment I am capable of. also "fuck off" said in a specific way kind of means "I love you (also in friendships)". but you really have to know me and the tones I say things in to understand.
I've been through phases in my life where I was pretty jacked, and phases where I was obese. And the answer is yes: you get treated like crap if you're considered "ugly" by society and much better if you're considered conventionally attractive. I'm also pretty sure there's a sizeable body of research that proves exactly the same thing.
It's the same for me. I have an autoimmune disease that affects my weight both ways and I get treated so much kinder both by men and women when thin and worse or even invisible when fat. They also complement me on "getting healthy" when seeing me go from fat to thin even thought I'm horribly sick. Even had friends change how they treated me when my weight would change. It was so noticeable that I had enough of it and cut them off.
Yes. There are studies that show this.
Yes, people struggle with weight often mention how much better they are treated when they are not overweight.
Same here, although I was never jacked but very slim, conventionally attractive woman to pretty chubby. Experiences are so different
Yup.. my weight has gone up and down (depression) and I was treated very differently when I was skinny..
@@francescaa8331The saddest thing is, weight can at least be changed. Fit people who are just "ugly" have no chance of ever being treated better by society
misogynistic people aren't grossed out by period blood, they're just grossed out by the period itself. like just by saying "I'm on my period" some people will FREAK OUT and act like it's the most disgusting thing on the planet. normalizing periods is first and foremost about making sure that type of reaction disappears, and making sure everyone knows periods are just a natural thing.
That lawyer thing reminds me of "To Kill a Mockingbird." I could feel the weight, tension, and anxiety that was in that fictional courtroom. Everyone knew that the accused was innocent and who was truly guilty. But everyone knew what was gonna be fate of the innocent. A very crushing atmosphere
Ace Attorney is also a good example!
@stopgbtGo out
@stopgbtthanks for supportinng lgbt+ people by commenting, the algorithm is helped by people like you :)
My granddad was homophobic and we argued a lot about this topic. I couldn't understand why someone so smart and otherwise thoughtful had such weird views about LGBTQ+, until one time in the heat of argument he said "try it once and you'll love it" as some kind of warning... I had no further questions after that. It happened many years ago but I quote this phrase to this day
Well damn
I don't get it
@@intrusivethoughts3601 Seems like the granddad tried gay stuff once, enjoyed it, but then freaked out about possibly being gay/bi and has been using homophobia ever since to cover up the fact?
Oof, I feel bad for both of you. That’s rough.
I feel for him, he must’ve been raised in times when homosexuality was considered a disease and shunned into oblivion, if not straight up illegal. And once these times have passed, it was too late for him to just be with whoever he wanted to be.
As a trans man, I feel so reassured hearing cis men talk about sitting down to pee. Weird I know, but it comforts me in a way
Same
I always pee sitting down. Urinals are a crime IMO and no one should need accuracy just to use the bathroom.
I wish we could gaslight every cis man into thinking they can't pee standing up sometimes /hj
My dad sits down to pee too. I think, always when he has the option to. It's just easier and maybe more hygienic too. Tbh, I think it's more comfy, I mean, sitting on the toilet for a few minutes scrolling on the phone is relaxing and not comparible to not even having the time to sit down but just stand there, whip it out, pee, shake, pack it in, flush (wash your hands ofc) and walk away. Sitting down is just..nicer.
Not to be disrespectful. Even though this might sound that way. But you might want to ditch the 'cis' label, when referring to your biological counterparts. Especially how everything is getting politicized, with the the trans/ non-binary community. Not in a positive way to be honest. You're going to find a lot more acceptance. And no this isn't trashing on trans people. I've got trans dudes and trans women, who feel more like brothers and sisters than my biological siblings do.
_Someone_ has to represent horrible people in court, or your justice system is a sham.
Yes! Thank you!
@@QueenMegaera Right? I mean, if you're going to claim your state has justice, then even the obviously guilty need to be tried in a court of law.
You can't just line people up against a wall, shoot them, then claim justice was done. Otherwise, you might as well make up any stupid law you please.
@@dmgroberts5471 sometimes I feel like there should be a different system for companies though. Like, companies paying their lawyers ridiculous money to defend that they've been poisoning people for decades, going up against an underfunded justice system doesn't feel like justice either. But when the defendant is an individual, yes, we either let everyone have a defence or we don't have justice.
@@QueenMegaera I agree regarding the companies. They shouldn't be able to just buy an entire legal practice.
@stopgbtYou need help
I am a trans woman. When I explained this to my mom, I tried to do so by way of analogy.
"If you woke up in a man's body tomorrow, how would you feel"
"oh that'd be pretty nice actually"
"...you what"
Anyways I'm pretty sure my mother is a man who just doesn't understand it yet
Or your mother is trying to humor your delusion and sink down to your level. Why do you feel the need to label others when your community supposedly is against labeling?
@@NobodyCares09 You just said a bunch of nonsense. Like, the first part is just an insult but like... the trans community isn't inherently against labelling. Respect if someone doesn't fit into labels, but a lot of people label themselves.
@mastermarkus5307 what OP said was that he assumed his mother was trans simply because she said something that was most likely sarcastic
@@NobodyCares09 while i appreciate the point you're making, my mom is not generally a sarcastic person. it's certainly possible that she meant it sarcastically, but i doubt it. i don't in any way mean to tell my mom who she is, or to assume. i'm just concerned she doesn't have the language to understand her emotions and feelings
@@dead-eyedarrel3878 has she shown signs of dysphoria before that conversation?
I 100% agree that anyone who thinks you can be "converted" to another sexuality are fruity themselves.
People confident in their sexuality have no reason to fear that happening.
In the wise words of asmongold:
"I could suck a cook and it wouldn't be gay".
I'm not sure about being converted, but as a 100% Real Man, I am totally in love with a transman. Wait, hear me out -- when I saw this individual on the bus, my eyes rolled back in my head and punched my brain, saying, "Wake up, stupid, and look at her!" She was the most beautiful girl I had seen since I saw the most beautiful girl in high school in 1985. She didn't wear makeup, didn't have fake nails, didn't wear a bra, didn't shave her armpits -- literally everything that is my trigger. He does this because he's trying to be more Manly, but the effect is the exact opposite (in my eyes, at least. Imagine Ann-Margret in 1963, and she puts on a hat and says, now I'm a boy. My brain isn't going to believe her. Anyway, I haven't gotten independent confirmation from my friends about her looks). So, having watched her for months on the bus, one day she talks to me, and wants to play D&D (I was wearing a D&D shirt). After talking to her, I learn:
(A) She's only 17, so my brain classifies her as "Off Limits";
(B) She has a boyfriend, so my brain adds another "Off Limits" sign;
(C) She says she's trans, born a girl, uses he/him, and my brain politely asks how many actual "Off Limits" signs does it need to write, anyway?
So, I say "dude", and "bro", and "he", and "him", but in a walled-off section of my brain, I remember the Illusion I created, the Phantasm of "her", and I guess I'm always going to be in love with a girl that doesn't exist. On the other hand, I have a cool new friend who paints his own minis, and is really good at role-playing ... because, obviously, he would be.
@@paulcoy9060 You clearly have some issues. Try to refrain from misgendering him, both in your head and in CZcams comments. Maybe it will help that "walled-off section of [your] brain" see him as the guy he really is, and either way it's not exactly respectful of his identity to use the wrong pronouns if you can help it, even in your head ideally as it affects the way you see him, and also makes you more likely to slip up and upset him if you're using the wrong ones in your head.
@@conlon4332 Clearly, I have some issues. Forgive me for trying to be accurate in explaining some events that occurred in my life. Next time, I'll know to bottle them up where they can do no harm.
@@paulcoy9060 My dude, it sounds like you just like tomboy hairy girls 🤷♀
Not implying that your trans friend is a woman, btw, they are certainly a man.
I honestly thought being gay was a choice, that was until I learned that I was aromantic and asexual and I was choosing to have 'crushes' on people, and that wasn't the case for majority of people.
Demi here. I would figure out who could I have a crush on that would result in less questions.
So like "my cousins friend from the opposite sex that was older and avarage good looking and didn't go to my school". My cousin went to the same school as me, so she could confirm the truth of the information. Tha I just spent the next ~5y saying I still had a crush on him.
I thought i have a crush, but turns out i was an admirer, i learned this later, because i have no desire to be with them or things teenage crushes do.
Then again i like 2D characters lol
I'm demisexual and until i knew that was a thing I just thought people who are attracted to looks/have a visual type are superficial and just didn't choose to care for someone's character. I didn't know that the way attraction works for me was just different from most and i didn't know that most people can't decide to just get over a crush in two weeks or less the way that I can either.
Aromantic-pansexual here. What I thought were crushes were a mix of me wanting to blend into society by having a girlfriend, and me just being horny without realizing it.
It's so good to read those comments, I distinctly remember choosing one of my male classmates to be my 'crush' when I was 12 or so because it was expected, only to realise (2 boyfriends and 15 years later) that I was asexual and totally not into this stuff.
Remember, a defense lawyer's job is not to let criminals go Scott free, it's to make sure everyone else has done their due diligence, and be a last resort for people that are falsely accused.
Oh my god the girl "choosing her first crush" makes total sense to me, someone on the ace spectrum. Thats LITERALLY what happened with me. I felt pressured to have a crush on someone so i just chose someone who seemed nice
This reminded me of what JaidenAnimations said about what she was like before realising she was aroace.
How do you choose? That is wild to me. In my case, I just get obsessed with a person if I want it or not
@@JustMe-do9lz the thing is, they were never crushes in the true sense of the word, and thats why i could choose them. It was just parroting what I thought society wanted of me
@@Myskitti oh, I see. Not sure if that is in any way the same but I used to choose the types of men I thought I was supposed to want not the kind I actually liked. I didn't even know it was the case. Maybe I am drawing parallels which are not there but that is the first thing I thought about reading your reply
@@JustMe-do9lz ooh I definitely do see some parallels on a shallower level; even if *all* of my crushes were fabricated, it seems as though you felt the pressure to do so as well
19:19 I strongly believe that bisexual and pansexual people are more common than we know because of society's suppression of LGBTQIA+ identities.
I dunno... I'm bi and I've been treated worse by the LGT+ community than I ever have been by straight people. And I live in the Bible Belt. So it's not just society's suppression, it's the "community's" too. Straights only like us because it's hot, LGT+ only wants us when we can pump up their numbers.
Agreed.
this is my unpopular opinion regarding this topic: I actually think most allo people are capable of finding people on any gender attractive, and or falling in love with them. This doesn't mean I think certain identities are invalid, but I honestly look at sexuality sorta more like a preference almost? Anyways, bottom line is I think it's kinda silly to adhere to a label really strongly, because sexuality just isn't that ridged. Like, I identify as gay, because have I mostly been attracted to men? sure. But I am capable of falling for anyone, and I don't think that makes me less gay. Honestly I wish people would just give themselves room to experiment with their identities without searching for a label, and without caring about what other think.
@@maycarmel8416You get it. I call myself straight, and I have had a serious crush on a male childhood friend before. But those feelings had to take the long way around, because sexual attraction had to come second.
Why don't I call myself Bi? Because I'm barely attracted to any men.
Labels are just describe us, they don't define us.
@@hmnhntr I've seen several times that everyone is a little bisexual, it's just that most people are mostly about one gender. Personally, I've only loved women, I'm only attracted sexually to women, but I had sometimes urges to kiss a man I was with. Don't know if it's my brain doing weird shit (I also have urges to damage things sometimes XD) or an actual attraction though.
*Your parent does NOT love you if they tell you to conceal a trauma. It may really hurt to hear that but it's the truth and being in denial about it is VERY HARMFUL in the long run!!*
Indeed. Like click said "screw your mom" i would have said it in a different way. A bit sounds like Click urging to complete the set 😂 jk
Yep. My parents laughed and told me it wasn't trauma. I have diagnosed PTSD. I regret telling them.
Thank you. This is why I'm no contact with both parents. Been happy for the last 13 years
20:30 this reminds me of how Jaiden Animations said she chose her first “crush” at random because she thought that was just what you do. As an adult she’s realized she’s aroace
19:48 I have a Baptist friend in my friend group. On a camping trip we all took last year she said, "I honestly would be bisexual if I wasn't in a relationship with God." She said it in a joking way but she has made some comments about stealing the girls who had couples in group and treating them like "boyfriend should." I still to this day swear she is bi.
She is
13:20
I was helping to clean the house of a deceased relative who had lived alone for years. And I found "evidence" that he was homosexual. Knowing his family is homophobic, I hid everything in my backpack and never told anyone.
I don't really know why I did this. I guess i didn't want people to disrespect his memory, because of some stupid prejudice.
Sometimes being the best ally means guarding the closet door. Thank you for acknowledging his truth and protecting him.
This reminds me of Midwest Magic Cleaning. He cleans hoarder houses for free and has a deep respect for the person who hoards and the reason people are messy because of angst and depression. He is very good at explaining the situation to the viewer. It has helped me understand myself better and made me clean up after myself
I was reading a post or some such by an older gay person. Apparently doing that was common in the community in the 80-90’s. If they knew someone wasn’t out to their family or their family was homophobic, they would get to the person’s home first and clear it out of anything gay. Either throwing it out, keeping momentous, or passing it on to other people in the community
A gay acquaintance once told me that a friend of his, who was in the fetish scene, had perished in a house fire. When friends went with the victim’s mother to clear out the apartment, the mother found the victim’s gas mask and remarked “huh, one of the firemen left his mask behind!” They didn’t have the heart to tell her what it really was…
Ally behavior. Here's your badge 🏅
Yessss, the whole thing about homophobic religious folks actually being bisexual (also pansexual, asexual, etc) has long been a theory of mine.
I was raised in some hardcore conservative purity culture, and also knew I liked boys and girls from a super young age. I just...assumed everyone did, so the whole "chose to be straight so youre not sinning" made since to me - just dont act on any of the same sex attraction.
Of course, bisexuality wasnt a concept I was aware of at the time. Got older, learned about a bunch of queer stuff, and went "OH". Light bulb moment.
At least part of them are. (I don't know how many of em, but there's defo a significant number of them). But it's obviously the system's fault.
I tell people that say sexual orientation is a "lifestyle choice" that being gay is not a "lifestyle choice", but being a homophobic bigot is.
Yeah, as a straight guy (well, mostly), I can tell you I don't have to "resist" being attracted to most guys. There's simply nothing there, even if I can tell they're very attractive. There's no way I would just choose to be gay, because there's no appeal.
@@hmnhntr hey serious question (not being snarky at all) can you elaborate on what you mean by 'most'
I was also exposed to purity concepts since childhood. In my teens and twenties I always wonder why people wpuld be so hung up about having a partner. In my thirties I found out there's such thing as asexuality... yeah, I also happen to be somewhat asocial.... or ND, possibly both😅
19:30 I actually ended up in an argument/discussion with someone who said it was a "choice" to be gay, just for them to say they chose being straight because of their beliefs... they're definitely out there
@qwerte6948 Well, science* also hasn't found a straight gene, so by your logic, everyone is now some variation of Bisexual/Pansexual, so good job I guess?
@@qwerte6948looks at fruit flies suspiciously. Seriously they accidentally made fruitfly gay by trying to change something else. They've found similar genes in more complex species as well. Studies with sheep also suggest epigenetic and in utero factors.
@seagoingberry8171 a lady said to me that because she is attracted to good smelling men but isnt to every good smelling man... she is choosing her sexuality. Ofc she shut tf up right after i told her to choose to be attracted to a trait she hates, not become lesbian or bi but just suddenly become attracted to bad smelling men.
A "friend" essentially thinks ALL sexuality is mimicry and you 'learn' it from those around you, i bring up the example of little timmy seeing two guys hold hands on tv and suddenly becoming gay and he said yes.
These ppl either love the smell of their own bs or are so delusional they can't hear themself speak.
Click saying "I will bury the person" with regards to the hypothetical of someone filming you without consent is strangely reassuring as someone who has always felt like my rage is disproportionate to the situation. I always feel like I overreact and have to pull myself back even if it isnt the case
I was sexually assaulted a lot while I was growing up. One of them was my sister. I told my mom about it right away. She laughed and went back to her cooking. My father told me that I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about it, because my family would be destroyed and it would be my fault. When I told him that I would end up killing myself if I wasn't allowed to talk about it, he told me that I had a dilemma. I didn't write about it because I was afraid that my father would find out. I was right about the impact on my mental health of forcing myself to stay silent. I self harmed from 16 years old to 40. I have tried to kill myself more times than I can remember. The last two ended up with me being hospitalized. When I was 43, repressed memories of my father sexually assaulting me came up. 18 months old to 8 or 9 years old.
I think that it is important to normalize talking about sexual assault so that survivors of it feel more comfortable speaking about it. I wasn't able to talk about my father's abuse until I left town and cut off contact with everyone who I'd ever known, 4 years ago. People commonly tell me that I shouldn't talk about it, but every time I do, it is empowering and it reminds me that I am safe and that my father can't hurt me anymore. I also do that to normalize discussions on that topic.
If I ever end up writing a book about it, my father will get a copy. I will make sure that copies are available where he lives. Not in any attempt to change him, but to let him know that I have told all and there is nothing he can do to prevent me from talking about his shameful behavior. Not to change him, but to destroy him. No one should have to remain silent about what is hurting them. Everyone has a right to tell their story. If it hurts the person who has been abusive, so be it 💪
🫂
Yes you're right, it should be talked about. You are very brave for doing so. That book sounds like a very good idea, if it's something you can do without making it all worse for yourself. I think it would help people, and maybe even help society.
As a fellow survivor, I fully support you. Luckily mine was never within the home--but my parents were often very emotionally immature, which resulted in my mother often straight up denying trauma I had been through for her own sanity to stave off depression (lots of invalidation trauma), and my father being so poor with socialization that when writing an email for a work application with him we got into an argument about putting my name and/or address on the end of the email (he usually did so for work, I did not wanna do so because I am a young female). His response was, "What, you afraid he's gonna break into the house and R-word you?" after knowing that had actually happened to me when I lived on my own. I had to make him apologize--but luckily my sister was there, heard it, and called him out too.
And I'm not trying to compare in any way, just sharing some of my own invalidations that while different, affected me with invalidation trauma, so that hopefully you can feel less alone. We all deserve our justice for what we went through.
When it comes to well fitting clothing: buy clothes that fit your largest part and then find a tailor or learn to alter clothes. As a seamstress/tailor I can tell you that the idea of everyone fitting whatever clothing they like off the rack is a BIG FAT LIE!!! Your body isn’t weird, clothing just doesn’t work like that.
o.o
I’ve read something about how celebrities look good in day-to-day clothing because their clothing is tailored
Amen. I have short torso, but long arms & legs, wide hips; I rarely find fitting clothes straight from the rack. Ive bought full length leggings that ended up being capris.. If there is someone similarly shaped, heres my best tips; let out the seams in the cuffs or pant legs, it gives you instantly 5cm/2”. Also adding lace or other fabric might be easier option, than taking the whole garment in. If youre just learning to fix clothes, shop in 2nd hand stores. That way youre not so scared of potentially ruining it. Tall or curvy girls should check the mens section, you can find better fitting clothes and alter them to be more feminine. Learn your body shape, it makes shopping much more enjoyable :)
Also you can save old clothes if you can sew. For example turning a dress into a skirt if the top part is in a bad shape
Don't know how interested people here are in that kind of videos, but Bernadette Banner talks about this a lot in her videos. She makes a lot of videos about historical fashion and has explained several times that people use to adjust their clothes to fit them, not the other way around. It was also absolutely normal to try and achieve the beauty standard not with your own body alone but wear clothes that created the illusion of this body type. I highly recommend her video called "How Victorians faked tiny waists (without fainting)", she gets into that topic very well there and it kinda was an eye opener for me
I find it really comforting hearing Click talk about struggles he's faced. A lot of times, I feel like content creators are put on a pedestal and expected to be perfect. Something I think a lot of people don't realize is that we're all human, nobody is perfect, and we all go through tough times. Not always to the same degree though, some go through harder times than others.
It's just comforting though because it's like Click is saying "hey, I struggle too. You're not alone"
Love you all❤️
When i came out as bi to my ex husband he told me it's the same exact thing as being polyamorous. People cant find both attractive, only gay or lesbian and the only form of "both" is having naughtys with multiple people with no emotions. And it made me a huge wh*re. He also voted for humpty trumpty, believes you can turn kids gay by them being exposed to gay things and a whole host of other bat sh*t things. Hence why he's my ex husband. The panini of 2019-2020 really showed some people's true colors
And you did a good thing by getting out of there! I hope you are able to find nicer people to be around! (rainbow heart emojis)
In regards to that weight post. I was deathly sick several years ago. To the point where I eventually needed a feeding tube. My body just wasn’t processing the nutrients from my food like it was supposed to. Nothing irked me more than people telling me how good I looked or how pretty I was because I was literally dying. It disgusted me. Especially those that would keep complementing me after I explained why I was so skinny. Now that I’m healthy again and able to eat I’ve gained back all the weight I lost. I no longer look like a goddamned skeleton and no one bats an eye at me.
Urg, I hate it but I am not surprised. What is with our society and thinking malnourished possibly dying people are hot? Like, it makes no sense it's so ridiculous.
I remember Reading a comment about someone who got compliments for losing weight, thing is, they Lost weight because they were addicted to heroin
I ended up losing half my body weight at one point for literally no reason - no change in activity, no change in food intake etc. But because I was overweight, to begin with, and even though sudden, unexplained weight loss is a HUGE sign of something being very wrong (usually things like TB or cancer), NOBODY even batted an eyelid. I got down to damn near an underweight BMI, and STILL nobody in the medical profession gave a shit. But the moment I put ON a few pounds? THEN all of a sudden, I'm meant to watch my weight (despite my BMI being 20.something at the time) because those few extra pounds will suddenly magically kill me...! And of course, nobody actually believed me either when I spent a literal year weighing food and counting calories, consuming no more than 1000-1200 cals a day for an entire year - and I STILL put on nearly 15lbs. Because OBVIOUSLY, I must be lying, mistaken or too stupid to count properly. 🙄
Yeah I got some uncomfortable comments after chemo. Most people had the sense not to compliment me when I was at my sickest, but the moment I gained back a little weight (while still being 20 pounds under my usual weight), they started being like "oh, you look so good! You look so healthy now!" and when I'd say, "oh yeah, I'm getting better, but I'm not back to my usual weight yet" they'd usually say something like "oh you look good like this, you should stop here" 🙄
I'm underweight too and it's so disgusting when people tell me they're jealous of my body or if I get compliments for it in general. Especially after I explain how I have a really hard time gaining weight and actually have a lot of health issues and they just laugh about it.
Fun Animal Fact: This one is more about jobs with animals, but did you know that you can get hired to be a Professional Panda Cuddler?! According to the Good News Network, the Giant Panda Protection and Research Center hire Professional Panda Cuddlers, and for $32,000/yr, panda cuddlers spend every waking hour hugging and playing with pandas! (Now that’s my kinda job!)
Thanks for giving us these animal facts. They're the best😊
Thanks I needed that
Dream job
Aww
Aww
I've honestly thought about that bi thing myself, too. I'm convinced a lot of the "it's a choice" people are actually bi. I think a surprisingly huge percentage of humanity is bisexual but they just don't realise it or live in denial.
Of course, I'm sure there are also straight people who think it's a choice. They're not all just repressed bis/pans/etc.
Told that toh mother and she got very very mad at me
I get flak for saying this, but…. I can agree sometimes your just born with shit. But pron does shit to your brain. Thats backed by science. I was born with adhd. Idisnt chose to have it. Now my mother ate a crap load red 40 and a shit ton of forever chemicals. Who knows what her choices did to me without my “choice”. Some times you have a choice sometimes life makes it for you.
the "queer is a choice" straight people just need someone to ask them when they chose to be straight 🤷♂
like legit I've watched that one simple question change people's entire outlooks in real-time
According to kinsey only 2% of the world is straight and 2% is gay. Everyone else is some degree of bi
I've been PREACHING the Bi-denying theory from 18:02 for a long time. I genuinely believe most of the population (probably up to 50% of ppl) is Bi and just never got the chance or explored those feelings or just brush aside that attraction thinking it's "part of a normal heterosexual experience" cuz "women are just always beautiful" or "it's natural to admire your homies attractiveness".
If I remember correctly from what I've heard, the original "involuntary celibates" groups WERE actually more like support communities when they were first formed. The problem is that a lot of these people found out what their issues were and fixed them, then found a partner, found out "oh it turns out I was actually just gay" and then found a partner, or even got to know some of the other people in the community and then paired up, and that naturally just left the worst of the bunch, the ones who couldn't find partners because they really were just that bad and refused to reflect on themselves at all. Except now they were all in one place and decided to make that everyone else's problem
That makes sense. Kinda sad really... sounds like it was kinda nice to a while, maybe even helped people find someone, but then all the "cured" people left leaving only the uncurable.
It's similar in a lot of groups. Another group I saw some posts from was about women who were denied for trying to simply use the fact that they're women to get privileges. But it went towards just women who were denied rightfully but unrelated to anything about women. I can see it continuing towards women who are denied unfairly, and towards hating on women.
Probably a lot of truth to that.
Now the bitter men left behind just keep hating on those denying them their “rights” to intimacy, and trying to pull more men & boys to their cause
As a trans person, I have met a LOT of transphobes who seem like eggs, being baffled why someone would "choose" to be a gender that is so "clearly" agonizing to be. I can't help but think they'd be happier if they were just to admit they aren't exactly cis.
Hey, just wanted to ask what "eggs" means in this context?
Like I got called it multiple times but kinda took it as an insult (because beeing an "egg" is in my mothertounge an insult so I thought it would be like this in english too).
Oh and excuse my poor english, it is the 3rd language I am currently learning.
@@kiterkun1606egg in that context is a trans person in denial
@@kiterkun1606 it's someone in the closet, waiting to "hatch" into their true selves.
I actually think it's corny, but it's the word we have now so, eh.
As a teen growing up in a conservative household, I grew up learning about strict traditional gender roles. I always thought trans people were weird. Like why would someone go through all that effort to deny reality, all that parroted transphobic jargon.
One of my main justifications for this belief? “Being a guy sucks, if I could just choose to be a woman instead I’d do it immediately.”
It took less than 3 months between me discovering how trans people actually felt about gender and me changing my name and pronouns. It was so obvious in hindsight, the majority of my college friends knew well before I did.
@@CoolSkeleton-nk7dk Ohhh! Thank you!
Even through I do not understand why people calling me like that (maybe because I am kinda feminin looking boy)
It's also interesting to witness how other people talk with you when you transition.
I am ftm/ftn and since I began to pass as male people handle me way different. I get respected more and men just start general conversations with me instead of trying to flirt with me. I was also so confused when a random woman on the bus just gave me her Instagram.
With the whole "recognizing somebody if you can't see their face" topic, I can definitely say that only a small portion of recognizing close loved ones is their face. I've always had very poor eyesight and wasn't able to get glasses until junior high, but I could still recognize a familiar outline walking a certain way. More than that though, I can recognize their voice from something as short as a laugh from nearly half a crowded store away, which I think was how I compensated for my severely near-sighted vision. I've mistaken family or friends in a crowd before, but only ever if I'm not paying attention or theyre wearing something similar.
The response of the kid who was filmed by a "friend" made my stomach churn because it is so wide spread among dangerous men -they always have 'friends' who will back them up and say the exact same bs "He's not like THAT" and " I mean I've heard him joke around but they're just jokes" or "Yeah, but he's really a good guy"... These kinds of responses allow predators to get off scott free when they harm people. It places undo credibility on them and, by default, paints their victims as unreliable or even hysterical.
"He just made a *mistake*, can't you see past that?"
Yeah. Noooo.
I love the fact that Click's response was "no. Absolutely not. Press charges. That's illegal." The seriousness and the tone shift from him, and the genuine concern was perfect.
@@kaelin_cherise for sure, Click is a real one. He gives a fuck about people and safety, that's the main reason I love his channel.
It also is CP. OP said they aren't 18 yet, and someone recorded a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor, aka what CP is
I'm a little more appalled that OP asked strangers on the internet BEFORE even talking with the "friend" first. Like, I know the situation was bad, but it does feel like OP was screaming for attention... and not the appropriate kind.
I wonder if the girl OP was with knows they were recorded? He can say "he's not like that" and "yeah, but he's a nice guy" but nice people don't film people having s*x without consent and if consent of any kind is something the friend considers optional or nit that serious, then that is a serious problem. I really hope OP isn't keeping their partner in the dark about there being a recording of the two of then, but I wouldn't put too much confidence in OP on this matter. Voyeurs can also be dangerous. Peeping Toms rarely stop at peeping. The whole situation had so many red flags.
What to call a non-binary person other than girlfriend or boyfriend? Want something less formal than "significant other", but more affectionate than "partner". Just call them your lover. It's romantic, it's sensual, it's a good word that needs to be used more often.
My ex had a Celtic phase so I got called Poukie for a bit. I'm dwarfie but 'fairy' is cuter at least XD I thought it was adorable. He never figured out what he wanted me to call him so I just called him my bf.
I like partner well enough, though I sometimes call him boyfriend/husband (we plan to marry, just not ready at this time financially)/cutie patootie. Lover can work, but partner to me means we're behaving as a team; like Sunbros taking on Dark Souls bosses!
My heart! I agree, it's romantic and sounds a bit passionate and NOW I WANT A LOVER!!!
I always find this word so difficult. I like the word cause it says to me "person that loves their SO" but I've seen it used too often for people someone had an affair with, so it just seems more of a "person I spend time in bed with" with no real love having to exist there, which I don't like, since as an asexual, there's not even bed-action that's gonna happen.
I generally just skip it and call them by name; people can figure it out from context clues. I didn't realize I did this until a friend pointed it out.
Listen, my mom’s argument was that all people are attracted to both men and women, but that you’re *supposed* to pick a person of the opposite sex… and I legit just went “But… I’m not? I’m not attracted to anyone? I’m just not? Wdym?” And she went *silent*.
Being bi growing up religious, I totally bought the choice argument hook line and sinker. I'm sure I did a lot of damage spreading that lie before I realized I was just in a unique position. 😓
Same. I grew up in a super religious (read: so far gone that we listened to Kent Hovind tapes in the car), and I can't help but look back and wonder how much damage the bile I spread did. Mom and I got better though.
@@CajunCrustacean Oof. I'm glad you got out. 🫂
@stopgbt that means you have to keep buying them. Thanks for the support cutie.
@stopgbtthanks for buying the flags ❤
Criminal defense attorneys are there for two things: To make sure the government follows the rules, and to raise questions of reasonable doubt. If there is another explanation, the jury is required to weigh that against the charges.
How do they justify it? Because everyone deserves to have their rights upheld. Imagine being innocent and being locked in a cage for the rest of your life by a lack of proper due process. It's my nightmare.
Also if you don’t properly represent someone that you 100% know to be a piece of shit, they can make an appeal based on ineffective council
The other problem is that the accused may be guilty of some charges but not all. If prosecutors are not challenged to keep them honest, they'll inflate the charges just to make themselves look better, especially if they plan to run for office. Or they pile on the charges so they can make a plea look like a good deal, but the accused rejects the plea because they are not guilty of all the things they would be pleading to. Then they really do deserve a lawyer.
@@tom4ivo Yeah pretty much. the idea is to make sure that the prosecution stays fair. Both here so that they don't get over punished and also to protect us from them deciding that they can start pushing the idea of Guilty until proven innocent.
@@Nostripe361o.o
Yeah, but I think the issues the person was bringing up was more like those lawyers who do their damndest to make sure their client walks free even when it's blatantly obvious that they've done horrible things that warrant imprisonment. Not the cases where they're just trying to make sure the client is only punished to a reasonable and lawful extent, or when they're trying to defend someone innocent.
As a nonbinary person, my boyfriend asked me what he should call me instead of boyfriend/girlfriend but didnt like the word partner
2 weeks into the relationship he came up with "boofer"
No idea what he was thinking but ive grown to it
The sounds like the name of a slightly overweight, very friendly, and kinda dumb golden retriever. The one all the kids love to play with and feed table scraps to. I like it.
It’s like calling someone their boo
@@sarahr8311 omg i totally can see that being a thing
I like "lover", but it doesn't seem to be used much. The Google definition is "a partner in a sexual or romantic relationship outside marriage" which seems pretty ideal to me, because isn't that exactly what boyfriend/girlfriend means, except that it's not gendered?
@@conlon4332 I think it's because love has (imho)connotations of being a relationship that's for sex and passion, rather than commitment or steady love.
Speaking on lgbtqia+ people being "weirder." I think part of it is also that even after you come out, people already treat you like a weirdo for that so you might as well get into all the weird little interests most people are too self-concious to try.
Like, I'm already trans and Pansexual, might as well also do cosplay, study medieval battles, and play far too much D&D. Half my weird interests I didn't get into until after I started expressing my true self.
I think some of those who think it's a choice could just be asexual or aromantic and not realize it, so they're just like "I'm supposed to be attracted to this, but I don't know what attraction is so I'll just find someone aesthetically pleasing,"
So for the queer people being weird thing, many of us spend a massive part of our lives hiding things about ourselves those close to us or literally everyone. Coming out as gay or trans or whatever basically opens rhe flood gates of self expression and feeling that hiding things like our fandoms or hobbies is piintless because we have been freed of the person cage of the closet
If you're defending someone who's clearly guilty, you're not really trying to help them get away with a crime. You're making sure that there can be no doubt of their guilt and that no process errors are committed that would invalidate their conviction.
Equally, even people who are clearly guilty need someone at their side who knows their way around court and makes sure they aren't treated unfairly.
Plus, on a basic level, like Click said, if you decide one person doesn't get to be defended, you've set a precedent. So now who else doesn't get defended for being "obviously guilty"? That cannot be said, regardless of evidence or even confession, until the court case has happened. Otherwise there's no point.
people defend the guilty sometimes because the punishment doesn't fit the crime, like life in prison for drugs, or paying with the rest of your life's salary for piracy
Everyone deserves competent defense. Runkle of the Bailey (great channel) is a criminal defense attorney, and has answered about this several times and what he says is in line with your comment.
As a person on the aro ace spectrum the person asking about "choosing" and bisexual stuff really just entertains me because...IF I COULD, I WOULD...like, date anyone of any gender...but I quite literally have never found anyone interesting at all, it just grosses me out to imagine dating most of the people I've met, seen, or interacted with (no offense to anyone lol
To me, the weirdest people I met were all straight. People who constantly talked about absolutely hating children yet still wanting at least 5 kids, 'nice guys' who would talk about how much they hate/not understand every part of women yet still want to date them, old people in marriages where they absolutely hate eachother and still not get a divorce, etc etc
But all of these things are considered normal and excepted, so it all really depends on your definition of normal/weird :)
The way I know at least one person for each example you have given...
27:20
Click saying "pp people" to be inclusive is both hilarious and sweet
That's what he was saying? I thought my audio was glitching 😂
@stopgbtyou are a such cool and edgy bot subscribed
I’ve heard the average naughty production is far more responsible about preventing pregnancy and ST diddlydoos than the average American high school 😅
Great point. (and well put, please be a writer)
Wow, you win a thousand points -- I am a writer. @@noodlepoodlegirl
@@kiluanonYou win some points yourself, too, for being good enough at writing so that the fact that you should write to shine clearly through
I hate how unironically accurate this is. And I can confirm this as an American idiot.
11:33
It brings me great joy that this question, that while worded poorly, was coming from a place of genuine curiosity
And that the responses were never attacking or disrespectful.
A little sassy at times, but always giving a genuine answer in a respectful manner
18:25 makes the same point I always make when someone tells the "being gay is a choice" bullshit. I didn't choose to love my husband (in fact, I fought a lot against my feelings because a relationship wasn't the thing I needed at that point) and I didn't choose to be attracted to men in the first place. They often come with the "gay people want to turn kids gay" bs, so I always asked them to imagine a world where the "gays won" and heterosexuality is forbidden. Would they suddenly stop feeling attracted to the opposite sex? Could they fight against the feelings they have for their partner? Mostly, they look at me in shock and tell me that this is something "completely different because they can't change who they love". It goes over their head that the same thing goes for LGBTQ+ people.
When it comes to being into weird communities it all comes down to contrast. A forum I'm part of used to have a bad reputation for bullying furries for being strange, but they completely reversed course when they realised that the furries were for the most part fighting against Nazis and often being active in doing so, so the attitude changed from "Ew, weird animal people some of which have a sexual aspect..." to "Cool, weird animal people who are on our side in a much more important fight." Very lord of the rings. "I never thought I'd be fighting side-by-side with a furry..." "How about side-by-side with a friend?"
In my own personal experience, once i really accepted that I was Queer(TM) I slowly stopped trying to fit in with what is seen as societally “normal.” As some of my friends have put it, I am unapologetically myself (not that I have anything to apologize for)
I like you that way. The real you. Stay you, my friend.
That's how it happened with me. Just stopped caring what people thought about me and decided I wanted to be my weird, wonderful self.
@stopgbt 👏 👏 here's the attention you ordered. Now go away.
You are literally the first guy I have seen publicly admitting being a toilet sitter. For some reason it seems like it is taboo to pee sitting down as a man. Not only does it lower the risk of not hitting the toilet, it is also much more relaxing when sitting down, and makes it much easier to watch The Click videos while taking a leak.
And whenever you're wooden you need to or else you're going to splash like mad
i once walked into a stall and there was piss on the ground, the fucking toilet seat thing, all around. i don't even know how that's possible, i'm lucky that i have good precision
It seems like sitting to pee is more comfortable, ❤but I don't know.
I really don't get why it's a taboo in the first place.
It doesn't matter whether you sit or stand up in the bathroom.
What matters is getting it in the toilet. 😂
Any man who does not sit down in our (me & my adult son's) bathroom will never use it again. But in my country it's quite normal to demand that. The only toilets where I don't sit are public ones.
0:45 no. I have sensory disorders so the toe lines are really uncomfortable. Which is sad because most socks have them.
When you've already been ostracized by a majority of society youre not as worried about fitting in
"No emotional support demons were harmed in the making of this intro"
oh thank goodness.
(probably)
Oh hail Satan.
🤘
@stopgbt learn how to spell first.
I had a similar train of thought to the whole “LGB is a choice” thing when I was in high school.
(I didn’t include the T because it’s not a sexuality, and at the time my feelings were more complicated. I had only ever been exposed to the concept through a trans man, and at the time I struggled to understand how it wasn’t just internalized misogyny based on his personal reasoning/explanations. I’ve grown and learned a lot since then though!)
To me it seemed like: “of course being gay/bi is a choice. Being straight is a choice too. You just choose a person and decide that’s who you want to be with.” It took realizing that the rest of the world isn’t talking about someone looking nice and well kept when they say they are attractive. It took realizing that I was both aro and ace and that my experiences were not the norm.
I do genuinely think that making fun of people for not realizing what they are or what others are experiencing is easy but entirely unhelpful to anyone. Ignorance (like my case) and repression (many of the bisexual cases it seems) aren’t always a conscious choice, and can be just as harmful for the one experiencing them as those around them. These things are definitely NOT an excuse for hatefulness, but I’ve found that in my experience sometimes a little empathy and explanation to those who are close to you is super helpful for everyone.
I mean, again, obviously not if they are being dangerous or truly hateful, or even if they are just…. Not your circle of people.
Idk I think I’m rambling now.
5:22 Something like this happened to me in college. I was purposefully raised to feel confident in my own skin and not compare my appearance to other people, especially in the media, with a HUGE emphasis on how so much of it isn't even real to begin with. We were lower-middle class, so we didn't have things like cable or magazine subs, let alone name brand clothes and products. I generally didn't give a crap about looking flawless, and really only hung out with other people who felt likewise. I spent my teens thinking that feeling some kind of weird pressure to look magazine cover-worthy 24/7 was a rarity, on par with, like, an anxiety disorder - but it couldn't happen to happy people with loving, supportive social circles, right?
One night I was at a campus ministry small group, and I guess the topic was something along the lines of, existing lovingly in a toxic world, or knowing that God sees worth in you when no one else does, because a discussion came up at my table about how the media can have such a bad influence on young people. I knew everyone at my table well by now - they were studying serious degrees, involved in student leadership, volunteering around the community, doing cool stuff with confidence. But one by one they sighed sadly and all agreed, "Yeah, I remember being in middle school and thinking, 'Wow, if I don't look like that, who will wat to love me?'"
And I was like, "............WAIT, THAT'S A REAL THING, THO??????" It broke my heart that such awesome people had ever been made to feel like that once, and it changed my perspective on a lot of crap. :/
i find my own period gross honestly, i think it's still pretty easy to respect people who have periods and help them out with it while still finding it gross honestly. same as when you help someone who's say, puking or having diarrhea
💯
Yeah, it's like the distinction between "periods=filthy" and "periods can be messy to handle" that many people can't differentiate. Like mine was a freaking warzone (seriously, I had to wear diapers to get through the first few days, don't worry, I evicted my uterus), I'd be bloated and gross feeling, like I hadn't taken a shower for weeks feeling, it sucked.
Fact about animals: there's over 14 different animal species that can photosynthesize, one of which is the adorable Elysia chlorotica, a type of sea slug. Out of all the animals that can photosynthesize, not one is found out of the water!
Is it the one that looks like a sheep with leaves? They are so damn cute ❤
@@EvilMissDarcula Sadly it is not, though the slug that looks like a sheep with leaves is one of the types that can photosynthesize!
@@EvilMissDarcula Elysia chlorotica looks llike a leaf ^^
Both of them are not really photosynthetizing, they steal the chloroplastes from the algae that they eat, then use them to be able to photosynthetize. As they can't produce it themselves, they must eat algae to continue their photosynthesis, the record is Elysia chlorotica that can keep their chloroplastes for ten months before needing to eat new algae.
Is that the one that looks like a big leaf? Those are adooreableee!!
@@krankarvolund7771 that's so interesting! Thank you for giving me more infos :)
The way I foud out about the LGBTQ+ community was through a series called She-Ra where spent nearly the entire thing trying to find out whether Catra was a girl or boy. I found out I was part of the community when a homophobic kid in my year 8 science class asked if I was part of the community and became outraged when I said no but I supported it.
My family is mainly Christian and very homophobic (tho idk what's happening with my mum who used to be the biggest homophobe but is now dating a girl??)
So I was very sheltered from this sort of thing. I took a few tests, researched the results and now I'm openly pansexual 💖💛💙
About the attractiveness thing:
I was generally perceived as attractive. I had kind of an alternative style which isn't commonly seen in guys, and had some girls from my year gushing over me, a girl came up to me in my neighborhood and straight up asked me out, etc.
I wanted to test this out, so I shaved my head. And as you could've guessed, I was invisible afterwards.
Now that my hair is growing out again, I'm getting more attention again.
Not that I care, I'm happily engaged and celebrated my anniversary yesterday! The shallowness was shocking nonetheless.
20:50 - I would like to point out that when I was a teenager in the eighties and early nineties, magazines and the like ROUTINELY said that it was "normal" for girls to have crushes on other girls and it "didn't mean you're not straight". They ALSO said that in order to be bi, you HAVE to have equal attraction to everyone, regardless of gender. Can we say bi-erasure? So yeah, I have said this for years, that a certain amount of homophobia around "choosing" is almost certainly biphobia/bi-erasure-based at its core.
ok, I get where you're coming from, but at the same time, I think it's totally valid to use a label that doesn't necessarily encompass all of your attractions. Like I'm gay, I'm mostly into men, but I still get crushes on girls and nonbinary people. does this mean I'm bi? I don't think so, but maybe other might. As long as people give themselves enough room to explore their attractions and identity, I think it holds little importance how they choose to define themselves. That being said, most homophobic people who probably aren't entirely "straight" have most certainly not given themselves the room.
I am straight. I guess I COULD "choose" to be with men sexually. I can't choose to be attracted to men. You can't choose to be gay, straight, bi (IMHO). You can only choose the actions you take. You don't choose who you are, only what you do.
@@maycarmel8416 That's... literally the definition of bi/pan though?? 'Being attracted in a romantic/sexual way to multiple genders.' You might be MORE gay than straight, but that's still bi/pan. I'm MORE straight than lesbian, but I identify as pan cuz I can have romantic/sexual attraction to basically anyone.
@@maycarmel8416 You have to remember how a) this was a different timeframe and b) biphobia and bi-erasure are HUGE issues both among straight people AND within the LGBT+ community. So it's not as simple as "Well some people don't feel like it," but it's part of a bigger picture of discrimination, exclusion and erasure aimed at people who are attracted to more than one gender.
People are absolutely entitled to identify in whatever way feels right to them, and nobody can say they are right or wrong. If you say that you're gay, then that's not something I would say you are wrong about. Personally, I feel that if someone is attracted to more than one gender - even if they have a strong preference for one particular gender - then that, by definition, means they're bi/ pan/ omni/ polysexual. But if you feel that "gay" fits you more accurately, then that's up to you.
However, I would ask someone who feels that way to at least consider why - if only to be sure that they're fully comfortable with where they're at and to ensure they know that it's okay to decide that a label doesn't fully fit anymore as you learn and grow as a person - because god knows, sexuality isn't a thing that we all instantly understand and figure out.
Some of the questions that I would ask (based on things that I asked myself) are: Is it because the vast majority of your attraction is towards people of just one gender, and you've only had a couple of minor crushes on people of other genders? How old are you and when did those crushes happen? Is it because you have a split attraction (for example, bisexual but homoromantic, or vice versa)? Is it because it's just easier to say you're gay? Is it because you don't *want* to be bi/ pan/ omni/ poly? Is it because you feel like you have to have a certain amount of interest for it to count? Is it a certain amount of comphet (mostly aimed at AFAB people who feel pushed into identifying as straight, but could also apply to anyone)? Is it because you perhaps hold some internalised biphobia that still needs working through, or you're worried about dealing with that from others around you? Could things be complicated because of trauma and/or perhaps being a-spec etc? Do you feel that you can't shift from gay to bi/ pan/ omni/ poly/ because you've already told people you're gay, and they won't "get it" if you do change your mind?
Ultimately, at the end of the day, if you feel comfortable identifying as gay, and you're not using your attraction to other genders as an excuse for homophobia being a choice, biphobia or erasure etc, then go for it. The problem when I was a teenager was that this was very MUCH about biphobia, bi-erasure, stigmatising bi people etc.
Even now, you only have to look at the fact that there are STILL people saying that bi people are transphobic (even though in context, bi- doesn't mean "male and female", it means "the same as" and "different from", just as homo- means "the same as" and hetero- means "different from"), that bi people are either refusing to admit they're actually gay or they're actually just straight and jumping on the bandwagon because it's "cool", they're "greedy", they're not "gold star" gays/lesbians, they're untrustworthy, they're not part of the community when they're in a "straight passing" relationship, they're always going to dump you for a "straight" relationship, they're more likely to cheat, they will try to sleep with everyone, they have no morals, that they have "straight privilege" even though bi people aren't straight... hell, I've even heard gay men who lived through the start of the HIV/AIDS crisis blaming BI people for spreading around HIV and the bigotry was some of the worse hate-filled vitrol I've ever heard. And as I said - this comes from within the community, as well as people from outside.
In this context, leading people to believe that "you're not really bi because x/y.z" when that's arbitrary and untrue is harmful to everyone involved. That's a huge difference from deciding these non-gay crushes you have are not relevant to your sexual identity, for whatever reasons, when you also have the understanding and awareness that you are free to act on those in future if you choose to do so.
Labels that are descriptive are amazing. It's when labels are used prescriptively (or proscriptively), that's the problem.
Edit to add: Apologies if this is unclear and rambling, I'm mid-kidney stone attack and zonked on morphine.
o.o
I guess LGBTQ+ people are a bit more used to being outside what's considered "normal". We're more accepting of things that are outside the "norm" as we ourselves are, in a way. Us weirdos have to stick together, after all!
Owl House reference?
@@minecraftnoob7224 Yes!!! All the points to you!
@@BisexualCatWithPizza Oof. I tried to get my brother to watch it too and he said he hated it before the first episode even started :(
Good luck, I guess?
@stopgbt That's not very kind. Why would you do that?
@@BisexualCatWithPizzaI keep seeing this thing on all the comments I think it might just be a bot at this point
i was casually playing a game while listening, and when he said "you are valid" i just cried. thanks i appreciate it
13:00 - This reminds me of my favorite hypothesis as to why so many of us who are autistic are also gender non-conforming to some degree: If it takes you longer to process and understand social rules - that is, you deliberately have to LEARN the rules of the culture you were raised in, like a frickin' miniature anthropologist - then you may be more likely to conclude that the rules are arbitrary or don't seem like they fit you well.
(One of the alternate hypotheses, that someone is manipulating us into being, say, nonbinary or trans... Uh, have you ever tried to convince an autistic person to do something that doesn't make sense to them? It is rarely a simple matter. True, we might mimic what others are doing if we want to fit in. But gender non-conformity doesn't exactly HELP with avoiding bullying, as one would find out very quickly if one tried it...)
"like a frickin' miniature anthropologist"
Lmao I did this, observing people like I was out on safari or something. My conclusion: I'm definitely from another planet.
fun fact, lawyers have actually been shown to preform better when they are not emotionally invested in the case.
o.o
Works for most jobs
@stopgbt nobody cares
"Don't be a butthole" is a good rule to go by in life indeed.
I came out to my mom as bi around the time i graduated high school & turned 18. For MONTHS after that anytime i went anywhere w/ her or sometimes even if i was just chatting w/ her she'd constantly ask "arent they cute/handsome/hot) til 1 day i was talking about work & i finally snapped. I had mentioned that a middle school had swim practice at the pool i was a lifeguard at. I very clearly mentioned that it was middle schoolers. Mid-sentence she stopped me & blurted out "so were any of them hot?" & I was genuinely horrified & confused that she'd ask that. i shouted "MOM IM IN COLLEGE & THEYRE LITERAL CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK?!!" She stopped asking those kinds of questions for a while til i met & started dating my bf. Then it was "wait so you dont like women anymore?, What if he were a woman?, Would you dump him for a woman?" As if me dating a guy makes me straight, or him being a woman would be a deal breaker, or being bi means id ditch my bf for the 1st mildly attractive woman i walk past. Girl pretty, but my bf is my person & i cant imagine doing something so careless that would hurt him so deeply. The whole misconception of bisexual= promiscuous/cheater is so harmful
Some people don't have brain filters, I think, not realizing exactly what they're saying. I told my grandma once about a teenage co-worker who asked me out (POV: You're in your 30s but pass for much younger) because he didn't know how old I was. She wanted to know if I was dating him now. I had to remind her that 1. I'm asexual and 2. He was more than half my age.
But yeah, bisexuals get way too much hate and misinformation flying around :(
@@wintergray1221 right. Being bi doesn't mean you throw yourself at everyone & it doesn't even mean you're sexually active. It just means you're capable of being attracted to both men & women, maybe even nonbinary or intersex people. I find a lot of people attractive, but the only one I'm an absolute simp for & throwing myself at is my bf
0:35 this activated my fight or flight instinct
For the question about appearance, people do treat conventionally attractive people a lot better than people who aren't. I was treated so much better when I was severely underweight than I am now (I'm a healthy weight but carry it oddly from my genes) to the point where my former psychiatrist wouldn't stop bringing up my weight despite me pointing out that I don't want to talk about it. I'm happy with my looks but the world looks down on me because of how I carry my weight.
That's a fucking awful psychiatrist. Especially if you are a healthy weight and they act like you are super overweight, many people who are mentally ill would develop an eating disorder. Even if you were overweight, there are ways to bring it up and ways you really shouldn't.
I was shocked when I realized how differently I was treated, when I wore makeup. I was in my late teens, usually didnt wear makeup for work (in a hospital, we all wore white uniforms), but one day I had a date right after, so I was all dolled up. Suddenly my male co-worker was super helpful, random dudes came to chat me up, doors were opened, particularly nasty nurse held her venom and even smiled, so it wasnt all dudes either.. it was like I was thrown in another world! I was so conflicted and almost angry at the end of the day, I went from doorstop to *Somebody* - all because of some face paint and my hair done nicely.
On the "choosing to be straight" stuff, I would also say it can be aromantic/asexual. Growing up I was interested in women in a general sense, but not overly romantic or sexual. I taught myself to view my thoughts through a romantic lense, because that's what I thought I was meant to do as a teen; however the thought of actually dating someone or being physically intimate felt somewhere between uncomfortable, terrifying, and pointless. It wasn't until I was in my twenties that I realised that most people don't view having a crush as a inconvenient extra job (and then eventually figured out my interest in women is because I'm trans).
I literally thought people had to decide to have crushes in general. Like, everyone got to a certain age and went "now it the socially acceptable time," and made a selection based on a variety of factors that were important to them. Because that's what I did. I had a list I'd consult with a features/optics hierarchy, and it they got enough good ticks, they could be considered for crush status. These weren't people I ever intended to date, mind you, more like some weird admiration thing based entirely on aesthetics, because that's what I thought a crush was. Anyway, it took twenty-fiveish years of my life before someone said the word "asexual" to me and things started to make a lot more sense.
36:25
There was a case some years back of a German (?) guy who bought a yacht, sailed out from Spain's coast to open water and did some illegal stuff with kids on the boat. He got arrested when he returned to shore for supplies because "international waters" doesn't mean "no laws".
i was dating a nonbinary person for a bit. they preferred that i just used significant other. but i know nonbinary people who prefer boyfriend or girlfriend. it honestly depends on the person and sometimes it can even depend on the day
I prefer "partner" and "significant other" as a nonbinary person, but if someone calls me their gf, as long as they're not using it as a way to misgender me I'm fine w it.
@@ettaetta439 this^
I prefer significant other or nicknames such as "baby doll" but don't mind wifey from my fiancé
Occasionally he calls me "my lovely fae-dy" as well to play on my neo pronouns 😌
with me and my partner, they are ok with being called girlfriend, partner, or significant other, and on my side (though i’m not nonbinary, im genderqueer) im good with boyfriend or partner/significant other as well. We just ended up using these all interchangeably
I would definitely like to be addressed as a partner in any formal setting, but I don't mind gf or bf otherwise.
I’m not nonbinary but if I was I’d love weird and/or demonic nicknames
Definitely can confirm that some repressed queer people push the "you choose to be gay" line b/c their own exp "choosing" the safer option. When I initially came out as gay to my mother, she cited her own experiences being attracted to other woman as proof that I was "choosing" to be gay. She has since come around and apologized, but I do still think about that interaction a lot.
The “lgbtq and weirdness” one was funny to me. I don’t see weird as an insult per se. Frankly, I’d rather hang with “weird” people than whatever “normal” is supposed to be. Most of my friends are weird and LGBT (including myself) and I love it. Literally everyone is so damn interesting in my group. Even before I realized I was trans and I was the groups straight friend, I still preferred this group to almost any other because they’re all far more interesting! For me, I think part of it is that many of us are done hiding things because they’re “not normal.” People will hate me just for being trans, so do you think I’m gonna give a fuck that they’ll think it’s weird I know the lore and stats behind almost every star citizen ship?
Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head...
9:31 I always feel bad about those hired to defend a guilty party, because they must get SO MUCH CRAP for "siding with the bad guy." but SOMEONE has to do it. everyone has that right. what are we supposed to do, just not hold a trial because everyone thinks they're guilty already? make them defend themselves? I don't think so.
Lol I had similar situation with a girl but about me being asexual, like she was convinced that nobody really wanted to have naughties but they choose to have them because they don't want the population to die out. Later in life she apologized to me not realising at the time that she was aroace.
I get her logic though, I believe it.
Humans get that bored, they're faking that there's 'urges' they have to deal with, with other people and that it's 'the most important part of a relationship' and 'if you're not screwing you're just friends' but you can screw friends and the opposite apparently isn't true.
So much hinges on screwing and it's ridiculous. I can't watch/read/play anything not made for kids most of the time because there has to be SOME screwing at SOME point, it's MANDATORY BY LAW at this point or some rubbish.
And I know that makes me sound childish but hey it all sounds nauseating and fake. It's a dumb trend and it can go away out of media I want to enjoy and be behind closed doors if you're trying to make more humans. I don't need to know about it. None of my beeswax. Wish people would stop trying to convince me I need to try it.
Who tf wears socks in the shower? That must be so weird and uncomfortable, with sopping wads of cotton on their feet.
What you don't have shower socks? You barbarian (/s if it wasn't obvious)
Whoooosh
@@3173_Delta Did I miss a joke?
I saw a tiktok of someone talking about showering in there underwear with the justifications of using the soap for their body on it, no hate but how would someone deal with the feeling of it while your showering??
You don’t wear underwear in the shower?! You harlots! How indecent.
5:23 unfortunately people do treat you differently if you don't fit in that perfectly made mold they have created for themselves. Me, as an overweight mother, know how the rude reactions all too well.
regarding the gender neutral term equivalent for girlfriend or boyfriend, when my partner and i first started dating (we were originally in a qpr, until we realized we both had romantic feelings towards each other), we would refer to each other as "leaf". since none of our parents knew we were together until a couple months ago, we would use one of the leaf emojis in different things for each other, like in playlist names of music that we thought the other would like or reminded us of each other, and i even customized a set of bracelets that i got for us from hot topic so that the beads said "leaf" in a modified version of morse code (i used 2 different colors to represent dots and dashes), and i did the same thing for a necklace with pop tabs on it. i've had customers ask me about the necklace while at work, and they always tell me that it's really sweet when i say that it's our petname for each other in morse code
I’ve been investing in gay for decades and finally got a massive return 5 years ago when I met my wife, whom I married months thereafter.
I love a love story. This made my day. (and gives me hope!)
I actually wear my banana costume in the shower, really helps with not feeling too exposed. Hope this helps!
That has a-peel.
I prefer scuba gear. Safety first
@@technicaldifficulties368Full on vintage diver's suit, like Thomas Zane from Alan Wake
The atractiveness thing is interesting to me. I went from attractive woman to awkward looking teenage boy at 22 thanks to testosterone and i don't think i noticed people treating me worse. Not sure if it was the confidence from being seen as male that cancelled out the awkwardness of second puberty. Or maybe i looked better than i thought.
On nose-picking one: My parents tried (unsuccessfully) so many ways to try and get me to stop picking nose as little kid. As I got older, I learned to hide it but still did. When I was in military one of the guys under me got surgery for a deviated septum - which I had no idea what that was at the time. Got me curious though and eventually found out I also had same - after dealing with that the picking basically went away overnight (other than the random "I feel an obstruction" moments). Turns out I was constantly "digging" primarily because my nasal passages *always* felt blocked (because they were - so to speak).
For parents with children you just can't get to stop picking their nose no matter what you try, it might be worth having them checked for this. It's not recommended to have the surgery to correct until 15+ (unless problem is particularly serious), but I think knowing can help a lot watching for other things (like complicating sleep apnea) and let one plan for corrective surgery in future if needed.