r/Creepypms "Hello, I want to buy your baby"
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- Äas pĆidĂĄn 5. 01. 2020
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r/Creepypms Welcome to the bizarre world of creepypms, where strangers contact people with strange and unsettling messages. We've got desperate incels begging for pretty girls to date them, a guy who asks to drown strangers, and this lady who actually wants to buy a baby. If you like this video and you want to see more, be sure to hit the subscribe button!
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#reddit #choosingbeggars #funnyredditposts
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
License: CC By Attribution 3.0 - Komedie
Yes, officer, these are the DMs right here
Hi
Hello
you're a poopyhead
Hi
Gm
I hate how this dude calls murdering people âexpiringâ
Ikr and what happens if they can't revive you?
Go expire somewhere
Expired is actually the medical term used for death. I work at a hospital and when someone in the ER has passed away on our patient track board where we have access to charts and such it has there status as expired. Itâs a nicer way of saying dead I guess. Not saying this guy isnât a major lunatic just saying that is the technical term!
@@ashleighbazemore7383 what decease?
Idk you either get $20000 or death
Sounds like a win-win to me
"Have you tried it?"
"Yeah, loads!"
That explains the brain damage.
I can't rn
Sick burn
I was thinking the same thing....
Exactly what I was thinking.
r/murderedbywords worthy
The internet: donât kink shame
Dangerous kinks are a thing and Iâm gonna shame those specific kinks that harm people like FREAKING DROWNING.
That's not cash money of you
( I'm joking you kink shame them)
exactly! true doms are always making sure the subs are ok. its about trust and safety. men with power trips are terrifying
@Cyber_Lynx Have you considered makeup, also I'm glad you're being safe about it, it's terrifying when people don't stop and think of the dangers of these things
Dangerous kink shaming IS MY KINK
Dragongirl764 *screaming*
"Are you Sub, dom or Switch?"
"I'm Armenian."
*I thought you were American*
Iâd be.....
A human
*I thought you were a lesbian*
Iâm dead đ
Im dominos pizza
The creepy dude who drowns he is obviously losing his brain cells...
That's exactly what I was thinking having OP throw out all that info and he suddenly goes "I've done it tons of times" like 'ooohhh... I understand now, you're so stupid cause your brains half dead.'
Yea, hes drowning in stupid...
Its not a real drowing if you dont get water in the lungs. The body has a natural response to shut it down.
wait.....
he had brain cells?
@@digizilla164 you must be the guy from those dms
Them: Age is just a number
*You know what else is a number?*
.
.
.
.
.
.
911.
Also minimum prison sentences
The amount of chemicals in whatever poison I use to kill people like that?
FBI OPEN UP!!!
Jail is just a building... a cell is just a room... dropping the soap is just a way to make new friends...
My reply to anyone saying "age is just a number" when referring to a relationship between an adult and a minor.
Ok that's a good one đ
I thought this was âCreepy PMsâ not âHorrifying PMs.â
Lol
Agreed jear desus
Same
I dont think its as much horrifying as another word that starts with P and ends with vy
â@@carsoneck1812
Poison Ivy?
"I used to babysit you and now I want to hookup" that story legit gave me violent impulses and I heavily considered committing a war crime against this fool
someone tried this against me (i was about 7 at the time) and i called the police cause my parents never let someone babysit me before and thought he was a stalker (btw he was charged for rape cause he said that he was outside of my house (he was))
@@COMRADE_chad_broski Iâm so sorry - I hope things are better now
@@thehistoryandbooknerd8979 i was 7 lol plus u didnt do anything also he went to our house first and didnt try this at any other houses in my neighborhood so we were ok
As a lifeguard, listening to the first story, listening to the dude incorrectly describe drowning had me cringing sooo hard.
Same Iâm just kept going thatâs not how it works
as someone who's like base level first aid trained even i was cringing lol
Yeah that shit just is wrong a minute is enough honestly it disturbed me to think this guy is getting money for this
sam marino you can drown in as little as 45 seconds thatâs why I was taught the 10-30 rule you should be able to scan the entire pool including the bottom in no less then 10 seconds and no more then 30
Jameson Dymond I know Im seasonal currently and havenât looked at my old book.
Not really a defense but I was more thinking of them dying
âDo you know anyone that would like thisâ
Yes the pOLICE SIR
đđđ
Yeah lol
Itâs the kinky(Suicidal) officers time to shine
fbi open up
âHello, can i buy your babyâ
*such* *a* *casual* *thing* *to* *ask*
Ayy imagine like your at Target or something and the man there's like would you like to buy a baby? No. She's a girl? Still no. But she is on discount! Sry if I'm not funny but hey at least you get a comment and a likeđ„
Speech 100
there is literally a criminal minds episode about someone drowning and reviving people!!! hahahaha
Oh yeah! I'd forgotten that!
Season and episode?
@@kadoradaniels8117 season 7 episode 6
@@0Disturbingthepeace0 Thanks
If I remember correctly, Criminal Minds & NCIS are loosely based on true stories.
The Armenian girl handled her creep like a boss!!
Nothing like playing oblivious, spouting off depressing facts about your homelands, and hoping the freak is bored/bummed out to the point of losing interest.
That was a pro move right there.
Fittingly, her post is on r/preyingmantis
@@Lunar994
What's that subreddit? Sounds like defeating people with Zen arts of nonresistance... Is this assumption correct?
If not, correct it.
It's like creepypms but the victim responds back by trolling or out creeping the creep
@@Lunar994
Ah, thanks. It's like that one where the chick went from victim to psycho instantly?
Cool. Might look into it.
If this guy has done drowning stuff several times, that explains his low brain cell count.
@Chaos Burrito
3:20
His creep is on another level
Nah. He's a serial killer trying to lure victims.
The way that R slash reads: "Is it a micropenis?" Made me spit out my coffee in laughter, goddammit!
That is actually a good move, I must remember that:
If someone creeps you online start sending them facts about your home country or some other topic they clearly won't be interested in!
Or just say something that will scare him. And keep harassing the person so they'll stop.
Wait, so if I ever get a DM from a creep, I can deter them by spamming them with anime quotes?
Believe it!
@@mask938unless their a weeb yes
@@loppie_445 I could probably still deter them if I use really creepy/unsettling quotes.
It was extra creepy that they said, "once you *expire* ".
I fucking swear I was so confused and hella freaked out
We need to fetish shame that. When a fetish harms others, then that's where you draw the line
@UmbreonTwinkle I donât even think that really even counts as a real fetish they donât really kill people
Sorry to burst your bubbles but still a fetish. Fetishes have no bounds, no matter how demented. Free to kink shame tho
@Xmrks They really do thereâs a point where it is no longer a fetish and itâs more of psychotic behavior and impulses
That was the softest "Bruh" I've ever heard.
*Bruh*
Bruh
Bruh
Bruh
BRUUUUUH
I bet that guy who messaged his âsexy ebony queenâ has paper skin and his heart attacks lull him to sleep.
I'm dead đđ€Łđđ€Ł
thereâs a guy whoâs 40 that keeps flirting with me online, i told him that iâm 13 like, thousands of times, itâs disgusting and iâm glad he doesnât know me irl
That sucks...
Tell the police, even if it's online
Save the messages and send them to the police.
Block him
CL xv canât, itâs through an online game that just updated, profiles arenât here yet
"Hey girl, do you mind if I stick your head underwater and dorwn you, then bring you back?"
"Yes officer, these are the messages right here."
She should've asked for those videos, for evidence
@@limiv5272 Well yeah, from the sounds of it she called the police anyway. But also, you could say that asking a girl if she wants to be drowned sounds like a pretty unique opening shot...
My mother once gave out my number to her 60+ yr old male friend, who then tried to dictate what me and my husband should wear to my own brother's wedding, who got nasty when my husband told him to stop, and was saying stuff like that he's my parents son (He's older than my parents) and that if I showed my mother his texts, nothing would happen, as nothing could ever come between him and his friendship with my parents.
Guess the joke was on me though, because he is actually still friends with my mother after that, so he wasn't wrong.
16:47 rare screenshots of Onision interacting with his fans.
đđđđđ
OT: "Do you think that I'm my girlfriend in this picture?"
Creepy McCreepface: "Yes my love"
Me: "Wait.....WHAT?!?!?"
Creepy McCreepyface would be a good horror narrator name.đđ
He thinks the boyfriend is the girlfriend beacause they are both in the profile picture and Creepy McCreepface dont understand the sentence so he just thougth that he confirmed he was the girl- ASMYLIA
I agree Cirno.
obv he was having his blood in his nether regions, which is why it took him a while to realize what was said
Alternative title: how I got on a watch list
*Top 10 people even the FBI is too scared to monitor.*
More like how i got my teeth kicked in.
beatrix the great : ŃĐœÎ±ŃŃ ŃĐœŃ ÂąÏŃŃŃÂąŃ ŃÎčŃâŃ
Voicu Cristian Valentin why tho.... just why
@Voicu Cristian Valentin
R/woosh much?
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be dead?" That made me laugh so hard. I mean, has that ever actually worked? Pretending to have a terminal illness to solicit nudes from girls you like?
"Would you like to sell your baby?
I've recently had s miscarriage and I've been following you on Facebook she's so beautiful I've already given her a nick name and brought things for her"
How i would answer:Oh yeah sure!But i don't want money.
Her:Then what do you want?
Me:Give me YOUR LIFE and I'll give you my baby :)
Chris Hansen would like to have a word with some of these creeps
Chris Hanson: Why don't you have a seat
âIâll never put my life on the line for moneyâ
Military personnel: (âą_âą) ( âą_âą)
My first thought when I heard that đ
I thought firefighters, but same difference
It's not exactly the same. Sure, soldiers cops and firefighters get paid, but their job is somewhat more meaningful than drowning for money
@@limiv5272 no one is comparing those fields to drowning people for sexual pleasure. The part of the story where she says something about not risking your life money is what made us think of that.
Nothing against the troops. But I mean the mess hall cook in Andrews doesnât have that much skin in the game
âUh, yes, hold on, let me get my floaties.â
"Arnt you suppose to be dead?"
DESTRUCTION 500
Ah, yes. What a great start.
"We also specialise in drowning."
69th đ
I'm still having a hard time figuring out if this is a thrill service or a kink
I once had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a guy who has a fetish for drowning and he creepily asked if I had ever drowned myself-
I'm like - why would I endanger my life? Are you that stupid?
Iâve nearly drowned but it wasnât for pleasure is was disconcerting to say the least
You should have said "Yes. Im a Ghost." in the driest tone you can muster!
The first guy offers a great service. I finally found a solution to die faster
Redditors: **recieves creepy dms**
RSlash: 8:44
Honestly, that "yeh buddy" was so soo hilariousđ
"I'm Armenian"... Fml i laughed so hard I choked on my cheese sandwich. That's a keeper lmao đ
@@joepapa3253 its nearly 3pm here haha. Perfect time for an r/slash and a sandwich!
Joe Papa when you get hangry you get hangry
I also nearly choked on a cheese sandwich at that part. Small world.
@@spectralumbra1568 cheese. Its going to be the end of us all.
Cheese is Evil, Confirmed. All the more reason to eat it. Keep it's evil from spreading!
As someone who has drowned and had to be revived myself I can confirm that you do in fact gasp for air despite being underwater.
I remember sleeping in one Saturday when my little brother woke me up waving my phone in my face. I answered sleepily and the guy said, "Hello? This is (Insert Guy's Name Here)." This was a guy who bothered me on the school bus, to whom I'd never given my phone number. But I was so adamant on going back to sleep that I hung up. I never did find out how he got my number.
Girl imagine hanging up on the killer before he could ask if you like scary movkes
@@YourMom-sm5jg âhey, do you lik-â
âBYEâ *hangs up at the speed of a pterodactyl*
Rslash just wanted to say I appreciate you reading these posts. Iâm dyslexic and reading is difficult and often not a fun thing but I enjoy the stories so you reading them allows me to actually allows me to enjoy them without the stress of reading them myself.
âCan I buy your baby?â
âBut I donât have one...â
âNot yet... ;)â
um so, I thought itâd go like this.
Yeah true đđđđ€Łđđ€Ł
Mmm
I'm scared ... like for real lol
ChubbyDog Animations thereâs actually a text convo like that on the internet somewhere that was posted online a few years ago.
well that's a plot twist
"i have zero interest in asphyxiation"
"do you know anyone that does?"
"yeah the police"
I'm inclined to feel badly for the woman who miscarried. The loss of a child can put any parent in a delicate or unstable state. She's probably desperate and empty for lack of her baby and it drives her to seek a substitute... Not that it's right, it just may not be malicious....
I donât think feeling bad is right in THAT situation
@@Top-Code yeah, I agree....
If someone asked that woman for her baby, she wouldâve started screaming at them to back off. Itâs never okay.
you're literally defending stalking and potential planned child trafficking and or kidnapping
Only thing I'm saying is that losing a kid messes people up and makes them do weird and irrational things. Anyone who harms a child is a monster. A grieving parent is just heartbroken and might be crazy.
Former lifeguard here, have training on how drowning works. I have held my breath more than 3 minutes with lots of practice, but it's not a super safe hobby, so would not recommend.
When someone is struggling in the water, they are using up oxygen much faster than someone holding their breath for sport. At my peek, 1 minute of vigorous activity while underwater was my max, and that's with lots of preparation. Someone who is swimming and is unable to get air will likely go unconscious between 10 and 40 seconds depending on circumstances. At that point, the brain is still getting oxygen and cells are fine, just don't have the resources to do the activities involved in you being conscious. The the model posted refers to amount of time the brain is deprived of oxygen, which is after the heart stops beating effectively. A person who is deprived of air is not at that point yet, usually their heart will keep going for several more minutes after that, again, varied based on circumstances. The brain isn't suffering significant damage as long as the heart is beating, because while it's getting less oxygen, it's getting enough for the cells to survive. When blood stops flowing, brain damage can occur within 2 minutes, and brain death is likely after 4-5.
Cold water helps, reduces the rate of the chemical processes that harm the cells. Also, when there is cold water touching your neck, your body starts conserving resources without you even being aware of it. Digestion is slowed or even turned off. Digestion uses a lot of blood that could otherwise be used to transport oxygen. Cold water on the neck signals to the body that we might need all the oxygen we can get.
There was a young boy who fell through the ice and was submerged for about 45 minutes before they were able to get him out. Luckily, the coldness of the water and the smallness of his size caused his body to cool before serious damage occurred, and he made a full recovery as I understand it.
Anyone else thought of Gordon Ramsey when she said that his âthingâ was dry
âITS RAW!â
"THIS MEAT IS SO DRY SOME LOSER IS STILL DENYING THAT ITS AN STD!!!"
Itâs f***ing dry!
Dry, bland
YOU USED SO MUCH OIL THE US WANTS TO INVATE THE F*KKING PLATE! (If that dude ever sent a follow up pic with a âshinyâ thing)
Every one of them needs to be arrested.
@Amine Boussettine MOSTLY HIM
"You should have waited for me at the door!"
NNNOPE. I'm just going to block, report, and mute now. Buh-bye!
7:03 even though itâs censored, itâs still so powerful
There should be an Internet police force cus these people really are scary
most police forces do have cyber divisons and the main one is the FBI
@@remington-7008 The above comment didn't mention a country, why do Americans always assume theirs is the only country that uses the internet?
@@limiv5272 right even though im british i was just saying most polcie forces have a cyber unit snd i just use the fbi as a template for all major crime units because its easier insted of saying nca or any other major crimes unit in the world
@@remington-7008 Huh, not the response I expected (-:
I would've avoided mentioning any specific organization. Just what I'd do, not saying you should do the same. I'm just really tired of Americans thinking the USA is the only country in the universe, you've probably encountered that attitude too
@@limiv5272 i don't even understand why you would say something that's completely unrelated to the first comment. Not to mention that you're being a hypocrite, complaining about someone assuming something when you literally did just that - assumed that the other person is american just because they made a simple example. Also, literally not all americans even think that way, so don't put them all in one group like that.
All of these dudes are why I recommend to young ladies to carry, and to learn to combat shoot
ElementsRook
@@Fruidish đđ combat shooting is more aim to wound. I'm a fan of the belly button personally
@@ElementsRook I prefer the crotch.
@@dreadcthulhu5 small target, difficult to reliably hit, may miss and hit the femeral artery resulting in a 8 second bleed out. Belly button, easy target, low probability of quick kill, agonizing, if they survive, pooping into a bag the rest of their lives, hurts more and for longer đ
@@ElementsRook True. Any gut shot is agonizing really. And I suppose it depends on one's skill. But if one made a good nut shot the result would be most satisfying. Rather like that scene in Robocop when the rapist took the woman hostage and Robocop shot through her skirt. No one can say that one didn't deserve it.
The first story really is fucked up, but i also wonder why people keep talking to such creeps. After a few texts i'd say goodbye or just stop replying.
Goth Princess pm. The ending is just great. "I'm still down if you are". That is the fastest way to get a guy to not go after your girl.
First story sounds like something from the dark web
the guy's response at 13:12 was hilarious as hell honestly.
"Yyour are BOY"
"BOY?????"
lmfao
-NeoBlade
DewCrewGaming he got (Trap)ed
I'm still down if you are
*I'm instantly blocked*
"I've been single for ages" - Gee, I can't imagine why
drowning fetish: he's obviously tried it himself, and got seriously brain-damaged as a result.
7:40 the only proper response is "New Phone. Who Dis?"
Oh my god the first one is terrifying
Wow, that first one needs to go to law enforcement.
Edit - changed my mind, make it all of them
2:47
Here's where they get ya. The people who are desperate for money do it, saying they are only going to do it once. Unfortunately their first experience causes major brain damage meaning they don't see an issue returning again and again
damn, probably
He went from being "cocky" and confident.
I think youâd like r/preyingmantis as well, itâs people reacting to creepy messages and out crazying the crazy people. A few of the posts in this video reminded me of it.
My favorite part about death is the safety of it all. The safest activity there is!
Actually yes, dying is a very safe activity
This is by far the most frightening group of messages Iâve seen, society would be safer with some of these behind bars.
My phone froze at the part the guy goes âit isnât little. â and I could not stop laughing
It makes sense that the dude from the first story still tries to push his "controlled drowning" if he's done it himself loads of times. Think of all the brain damage!
- "Do you like tRuCKs?"
People with big trucks usually have them to hide the fact that they have a Micro Dong.
Truck-kun the Isekai anime assistant!
âHave you tried it?â
âYeah, loads!â
_âthis causes brain damageâ_
*_Thatâs a lot of brain damage_*
I tried to sell the clothes I didn't use (wallapop) and like 80% of the messages I received were from pervs and one even wanted me to sell him used underwear!!! I blocked him and deleted my account
So I laughed so hard I straight up spat my coffee with the story about the girl saying sheâd chop off and skin the dude.
1st story: "hey can i drown u then revive u "
no"
"its safe"
"its dangerous"
"heres proof"
"ok but still"
"have u done it"
"loads"
"we bet oy 22.5k ull come back"
"wouldnt do it for a million"
"we'd just drown u then haha"
"im calling the police, have a nice day."
"Jeez can u not take a joke..."
1st story 10m later:
wee oooo wee ooo
Police: ur under arrest
them: no u, wanna try it
police: no
wee oo wee ooo wee ooo
and thats the end :)
I didn't expect a story about erotic asphyxiation to have a happy ending!
Yeeeahh, i'd say drowning and being revived for entertainment is just about the definition of dangerous.
@@GubekochiGoury I have consistently held my breath for 2:40 when I was younger and in better shape. According to the diagram the prospect shows, brain damage should occur after 1 minute? I presume this diagram is about restricting blood flow to your brain and not just holding your breath. If not then I'm severely brain damaged!
@@TheYupido Yes, I know I did! It was the conversation in the story about autoasphyxiation, where the guy claims that you get brain damage after 1 minute under water that is clearly wrong.
@@Tore_Lund yeah your right, I saw a documentation about Freediving and they hold there breath much longer. even the world record is 24min by Aleix Segura (he startet with pure O2.) I think the bigger problem is the "revivify" part, because then the blood flow is gone.
This video reminded me of just how many voices rSlash can do. Entitled male, entitled female, creepy male, normal girl, normal guy, bratty little kid. The variety alone is SO MUCH better than other Reddit videos that just use that generic robot voice for everything. I sincerely appreciate the detail and effort you put into these videos
EM goes to someone ones house:
Hi I think that baby of yours was my package.
15:49 I love how the guy goes berserk to cover his embarrassment.
"Do you know anyone that does?"
"I charge people to pimp for them, and you couldn't afford my fees"
extended oxygen deprivation causes brain damage. He's done it "lots of times". 'nuff said.
Seriously, wtf? I've done some slightly risky things, but only with people that I know well enough to trust; even if I don't manage to use the safeword, they've stopped of their own accord.
Doing *anything* with someone you don't know isn't asking for trouble, it's begging for it.
I have a feeling that one day it will end one with one of the girls dying and the man going on trial for murder
This isnât slightly risky this is literal death by drowning and then being revived
I have some friends into strangulation and the main thing is to do it with someone you trust so much that you'll never need a safeword. That person is so close to you that they can tell immediately if something's off and stop it.
How the *hell* do you do that in the water???? Like, if you throw them and wait for the bubbles to stop, that's already too late, isn't it?????
@@Twinklethefox9022 - It'd certainly be a lot cheaper for him, if he promised to pay them afterwards.
Where do people get to be so sick? is he going to blame this on his mother?
@The Man With No Name - which is why you wouldn't catch me going within a hundred miles of this person!
lol I love your "nerdy little boy" voice.
THE WAY HE WONDER "IS IT MICROPENIS" HAD ME DEAD đđ LOL
This sort of stuff happens at 3AM
The idea of a One Punch Dio is terrifying, cheers mate, more nightmare fuel! :P
$22,500. Weirdly specific!
This sub has some of the best redponses to creeps and niceguys I have ever seen. Getting a guy so annoyed he just gives up, dissing someone so hard they get concerned about their health or outright becoming a nicegirl to creep out some other creep.
5:26 dude i never thought I'd hear rslash say "BrUh" in the girl voice
âWe have different interestsâ OP showed me a parallel universe and I love them for it. Had them on the run
I'm going to need therapy after this one.
"... why does it feel like it was written by a 17 year old boy?" Because he never grew up? #manchild
the woman using his tactic against him and saying she wants to feed him his own dong... she rules. queen of my heart.
0:18
OP: *dials the police*
I loved that reverse uno she pulled! What he didn't like being spoken to like that?!
That moment when you thought it was "PMS" and not "PMs"
I know drowning is a kink but not ACTUALLY LETTING THEM DIE
Wow you mean to tell me Iâve watched 344 RSlash videos?!
Thatâs crazy! Literally have been subscribed since day 1 & have started my day with your morning video everyday since your first video. Thankyou for all the great content, much love, respect & support to you! â€ïžđđ»
Same
I started when he had about 200 subs
"im arminian actually"
That was my favourite one. Lol
Yeah, it's a fourth option to what the dude said:
Dom = Dominant in bed
Sub = Submissive in bed.
Switch = Does both.
Armenian = Has as much interest in you as they do in Russia.
I love when you give a voice to the kissy emoji đ âSMOOCH!â
I wasn't ready for the "sorry I pooped in your car"
"the origin sofher"? totally not supposed to be "the origins of her"
I burst out laughing at âdo you like trucksâ đđđ
This is honestly one of my favorite videos on this entire channel
Omg i love this idea! Please make more of these!
When a guy asks for worn undwerear, just send him a randomly googled dicpic. watch how fast he scrambles
"unless you wanna get creepy PMs from me..." Don't theaten me with a good time
6:05 some creep: "pays good"
everyone I know who's tried it: "it really doesn't"
Omg please make another one like this, it's just great đđđ