See the Gaslighting! It's Verbal, Psychological, AND Emotional Abuse.
Vložit
- čas přidán 3. 08. 2019
- What is gaslighting? Straight up emotional abuse.
It's when someone else is telling you what or how you think, feel, or want. Nobody really knows that except you. It's time to stop accepting gaslighting as valid or worthy conversation. It's emotional abuse and manipulation. Period.
** AUDIO ONLY
#Hijackals--those relentlessly difficult toxic people--want to define your reality for you. Right? They try to tell you what you think, what you feel, or what you remember or what you "really" want. Crazy-making!
HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
🚩 Recognizing gaslighting
- Why it is emotional abuse
- How gaslighting may sound in your relationship
- Why adults accept gaslighting and what needs to change
- How to respond to gaslighting in the moment
- AND...here's the link to my short video, Healthy Responses to Gaslighting,
• Healthy Responses to G...
Telling you who you are and what you think and feel is #gaslighting. Sure, you have friends that you might ask, or be discussing these things with because you value their opinion. They are not TELLING you what you want - particularly when you've just laid out what you want and it's completely different than what they say you want.... Whole different story!
Hijackals try to tell you what you want and need so that they can have power and control over you. Once they wear and tear you down, you may begin to believe them. STOP! They are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Don't let them.
In today's episode, I help you hear phrases differently. You might not have realized this is happening to you because #Hijackals are sneaky, underhanded, and undermining you. They want to take away your self-confidence. They want to make you dependent on them. Nasty!
I share with you how--and why that 'how' is important--to change your response, and what to say. It can make a huge difference to regaining your self-esteem, and bolstering your self-confidence. Exactly what the Hijackal doesn't want to happen, but exactly what you need to happen!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
WANT A SAFE PLACE-- off social media--TO TALK, ASK QUESTIONS, GET EXPERT ANSWERS & SUPPORT?
Join my Emerging Empowered Community, online: ForRelationshipHelp.com/commu...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You'll find many other episodes of this podcast, and my other podcast, Emotional Savvy, here: www.relationshiphelpnetwork.com You can subscribe on your favourite podcast app or just keep tuning in here on youtube. They are all published here, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
I offer relationship advice for dealing with difficult issues and relentlessly difficult people.
I focus on helping my clients to stop tolerating abuse, and give them strategies for changing relationship dynamics.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal®? Someone who consistently behaves in ways that undermine you, put you down, make you crazy? I can help you understand that behavior and how to keep yourself safe and sane.
I work with individuals, couples, families and workplaces, worldwide, through private, secure video conferencing.
Schedule an initial 1-hour consultation HERE for only $97.
www.forrelationshiphelp.com/join
I hope this empowers you to make positive changes NOW.
Subscribe to my newsletter, Tips for Relationships
www.forrelationshiphelp.com/s...
CONNECT WITH ME, online:
Website: www.ForRelationshipHelp.com
Facebook: / relationshiphelpdoctor
Twitter: @RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
CZcams: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
#gaslighting #emotionalabuse #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #stopenabling #difficultpeople #enablingabuse
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This content has been created and recorded for the general interest and information of the viewer/listener. Nothing said or implied on this site should be taken, or construed in any way, as legal advice, or personal advice of any kind. It is entirely informational, offering readers, viewers, subscribers, followers, and members educational resources, anecdotes, case studies, and stories.
Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind.
It’s deeper than just family, friends and Coworker.
It is a orchestrated effort by the Power structure in our Society.
Local, Regional, National.
There is a lot of gaslighting in this world, for sure.
I agree. The entire world operates in a narcissistic/psychopathic hierarchy.
Anytime I reveal my husband’s narcissistic antics, he of course tells me that I’m the Narcissist. And he is NEVER WRONG.
Same here. And when I try to tell him how something he does makes me feel, he accuses me of gaslighting and being defensive. (I'm not allowed to have feelings or get upset about anything apparently). Yet every thing I do is analyzed with a fine tooth comb by him and subtly criticized. I'm growing to resent him more and more.
3:06 Yes All The Time 🔥😡 They Think They Know Me Better Than Myself ....... Delusional People
Lost the one (1) real thing society ever knew- Christmas
It's better to be single, alone than with such people and family members. Nature abhorres void, soon right people will come in your life. Now I realize my mother was verbally abusive, psychological abuser, gaslighter. Now she tries to threaten me to get married and she will go live with my brother. But we trusts hyjackle anymore?
Hopefully, we no longer trust #Hijackals! They are full of promises that seldom have a delivery date. If your mother wants to go to live with your brother, perhaps a good response for you is relief. When you express that you'd be fine with her going to live with your brother, it won't be surprising if she changes her tune.
Roberta. You are great. Thank you for your wisdom. ❤
my dad say he doesn't remember what he said to me but i know he just doesn't want to admit it to me .
Oh, that's a far too common response from irresponsible people! Infuriating, too, right?
Very few people do not know what they have said, but far too many don't want to take responsibility for what they did say. You may very well be right. If so, what will your next step be?
Thank you.
14:58 Yes I Try But At The Same Time It's Justified!
i have always pick on middle school and high school and now working at a market where i work at but if suggesting and idea they its all about you when its not . my sister she puts me down a lot more than i do . feel like outcast work because one worker thinks i like to listen on other people's conversation just happened to be standing there not saying anything.
That sounds difficult...and sad. When your sister put you down, did she do it in front of your parents? Did they stand up for you? Did they help you with bullies at school?
Learning to stand up for yourself begins with understanding what has happened to you when you were growing up. Then, the next steps are to shift those insights into embracing how you would now like to be in life, gaining the skills and strategies to communicate effectively, and practicing.
Once we've become adults, it's wise to do self-reflection to determine our own paths in life, independent of what others' think. It's not easy when you've been picked on, but it's very well worth it. I hope you'll continue on that journey. I've made lots of videos to help, and my two podcasts have more than 300 episodes to help, too. www.forrelationshiphelp.com/network
I wish you well.
Rhoberta
@@ForRelationshipHelp even when I was in middle school always made fun of because I was in specialday class for adhd . My sister its like she acts more a parent than my sister and I told my mom and dad . She finds ways to get under my skin. Widdy come back sometime smart sarcasm. This person Laura she say why am I going to the back that is because I have my club soda in the back. Did not think I was allowed to have it up front. My boss she co owns the market with her family. Her mom and her don't listen to ideas I have or anyone else would suggest stuff. This why I want to quit because of how I treated by Bob was leasing the store then after he left kristen and her family took over. Definitely not Confidence in myself. Mo would say something that would defeat the Confidence. Me I say something back because she made me so angry. Far as my dad and I never agreed on anything even with my mom.
I dislike listening that we get used too it no its causes anger.
It IS true!!! I KNOW! Fortunately over time God has shown me the patterns, but Narcissists change their antics and it becomes a different tactic, until you figure out the new tactics.
8:44 Oh Yes I Will Guide Myself!
10:27 Yes It Is Unacceptable!
7:51 Yes Me As Well
0:35 Yes
6:27 Yes
16:45 Yes
0:10 Yes
Im respectful asking for help
On the other side it's also known unbiased as twin tower attacks. You have to know how to differentiate the difference between the two
18:07 Yes They Need To Challenge Their Own Perspective!
My husband argues with me when I AGREE with him!! If I agree about something he flips it and turns it into a DISagreement!! And it's always something trivial that I'm trying to just be agreeable in an effort to have a bit of calmness and civility. Exhausting.
5:20 Oh Yes How Dare They!
But they just gaslight the gaslighting so it doesn’t matter unless you put up with it or leave.
1:51 Ok
it's a cover up, don't give them excuses!
You should stop drinking said you an alcoholic is gaslighting?