The INTJ Loop - how to get in and out of one

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  • čas pƙidĂĄn 14. 07. 2024
  • and I'm in one right now... The INTJ Loop (ni-fi)
    Ya this video is a little much, so let this be reason in and of itself to not be in a loop 😂
    Much of the time, INTJs are rational and level-headed.... until we get into the dreaded loop. In this video I put my own loop on display and analyze where it came from and how I'm getting rid of it. INTJ loops are the worst part about being an INTJ so let's stop.
    0:00 Intro
    1:04 Why it's bad to be too introverted
    3:17 My bad looping behaviors
    7:10 What triggers a loop
    9:00 How to transition out of a loop method #1
    11:19 My real emotions about my current loop
    13:28 Leveraging Ni-purpose and Se-change
    14:45 Tough love
    17:26 The strengths of Te
    18:17 How to get out of a loop method #2
    Love ya babe xx
    Alexis Kingsley
    ----------------------------------------------
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    🔊 #intj #intjloop #intjemotions

Komentáƙe • 144

  • @mamu7976
    @mamu7976 Pƙed 3 lety +126

    Fi- it's pretty awful this Ni:Fi loop
    Ni- It's going to be awful in the future too
    Fi- it's pretty awful this Ni:Fi loop
    Ni- It's going to be awful in the future too
    Te- Alexis talks a lot of sense. We should do something productive for an hour or two
    Fi- I don't feel like doing that. I want to be in my comfort zone.
    Se- Lets binge watch a DVD box set
    Fi- That'll be fun.
    Ni- Hmmm. Few hours later, the Fi shame will kick in. Does not sound like a good long term plan.
    (in the corner. Ignored):
    Te-
    When you want to escape the Ni:Fi loop you'll all come back to Te. It is the healthy option and I'm the function that will get you back into flow.

  • @susanam.826
    @susanam.826 Pƙed 3 lety +31

    I came out of my INTJ loop just a week ago after one long year of looping. It's such a huge relief! I missed my TE so much...

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety

      Totally agree!

    • @aishaalreyashi3309
      @aishaalreyashi3309 Pƙed 3 lety

      And what did you do to came out of it?

    • @nihonmaksudur7662
      @nihonmaksudur7662 Pƙed rokem +1

      @@aishaalreyashi3309 it's easy
      Don't take things personally and don't merge identity with what you are doing (people do many random things )
      I got this when i was in home during pandemic

    • @qua7771
      @qua7771 Pƙed rokem

      @@nihonmaksudur7662 I think I'm an opposite mode, being too disconnected from emotion to take things personally. I think I'm in a snit over the way the world has changed over the last few years. A sort of existential crisis. Maybe I'm not in a loop.

  • @jellybean7401
    @jellybean7401 Pƙed 3 lety +38

    It’s not even funny how much this helped me. This video came at the perfect time. I sat down and tried to break the loop by writing out all of my feelings. I know time will tell me what I need to continue to do to break the loop but this was a wonderful way to start. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +3

      Thank you Jen!! I'm so glad it helped!! ❀

  • @colywogable
    @colywogable Pƙed 3 lety +18

    I like hermiting, but then after a while I start to become practically agoraphobic.

  • @deborahdavis8632
    @deborahdavis8632 Pƙed 3 lety +32

    Amazingly, brutally honest. It takes a brave person to share her struggles through her personal development. I really appreciate your willingness to become vulnerable to the world in order to experience personal growth and help others to do the same. Stay brave and proud of who you are. đŸ‘đŸ€—

  • @natanmouradeaquino
    @natanmouradeaquino Pƙed 3 lety +22

    Very INTJ relatable. Sometimes I use Se as a backdoor to break up the double introverts when they've effectively outcast Te. It's definitely only a last resort if Te is completely lost and disengaged for a long time. Se is usually more danger but some healthy+grounding Fi/Se activity like meditation can help keep Fi in check. Most effective to be doing that activity regularly. Fi's responsibility is to balance Ni/Te... anything more with Ni = fantasy future lands of sadness. Always.

  • @ggurrlyggurrl
    @ggurrlyggurrl Pƙed 3 lety +6

    I cannot believe how similarly I act/think especially when I have to make a big decision. I do get into analysis paralysis, I’d get stuck, end up eating more, critical, and go into self-loathing mode. I’d feel bad for being unproductive because I usually am decisive and that’s when I feel at best. However, during this “loop” I am the complete opposite and I get depressed from it or maybe the cause of depression? IDK but wow this is very helpful. I hope I get out of it soon cause it’s driving me crazier than usual and it’s a “sucky” feeling lol

    • @DoNColey456
      @DoNColey456 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Yeah it sucks. I work out and try to stay active. It helps a lot to get out of the mind for a while

  • @dmanh5144
    @dmanh5144 Pƙed 2 lety +8

    INTJ to INTJ, I want to say that it was this 6th video (today) that I watched concerning INTJ unique difficulties and weaknesses. You were the only one of 4 that actually helped me cope with my own 'loop' that I have been stuck in since Covid-19 came along in March of 2020. Just by seeing your emotions show, along with your words of wisdom, I was able to relate so well that I feel like I am on my way out finally! Thank you so very much; and yes, this video is a little much, but that is the very reason it had an impact...

  • @morganainsleymusic
    @morganainsleymusic Pƙed 3 lety +7

    Ah so relatable - I have a quote as my phone background that says “see the fear, be brave, be curious”, which I use to remind me that often when I’m in that loop state it’s because I’m afraid of the stuff outside my comfort zone - so I remind myself to be brave and also let curiosity drive me instead of fear

  • @deeplimerence
    @deeplimerence Pƙed 12 dny

    “My real emotions about my current loop” segment is so freaking relatable. I am an INTJ woman too. And I am in a loop rn.I feel so ashamed of not working on anything and it gives me so much anxiety.

  • @missbealovesalbert8353
    @missbealovesalbert8353 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci +2

    The worst part is intellectual watching and understanding it, but emotionally (and somewhat physically) impossible to end it.
    I can literally feel a loop coming. Other times some small thing can trigger a loop instantly.
    It's as though it has to run it's course or something has to happen that snaps me out of it. But, I cannot think my way out- it's extremely frustrating.
    I might be down a day. I might be down for months. It's a miracle I don't lose my job and everything during a loop. I'm like a mean, depressed, tired, psycho!

  • @RichardPalmer1
    @RichardPalmer1 Pƙed rokem +2

    I'm INTJ and in the middle of this productivity shame spiral thing. This video really helped me to understand and now I've got some ideas to try and get back to being my normal productive self. Thank you đŸ€—

  • @swiftmk5480
    @swiftmk5480 Pƙed 2 lety +6

    This explains SO MUCH - I've been looping for nearly a year. I'm about to be applying to colleges, so I'm glad to finally be figuring out how to healthily reconnect with Te. I'll definitely need it to make these upcoming big decisions (and to simply function without such pressing negative feelings all the time). Throughout these months I could tell that I was almost unable to do simple Te tasks - and I was far too reliant on Fi - but I hadn't known that it actually was related to the cognitive functions. I simply knew that "I feel shame for not doing this thing, why can't I do the thing, I should do the thing but I don't want to.." etc. Nor could I consolidate those fleeting ideas into an explanation, until I listened to your experiences and ideas. Thank you so much for helping me understand myself!

  • @DistantExplorer
    @DistantExplorer Pƙed rokem +1

    I found your video extremely helpful. As a 70 year old INTJ I have had the same struggles with this loop all through my life. Seeing this from a different person’s perspective is helpful and strangely reassuring (I’m not alone in dealing with this struggle.) I think the feeling in me is sadness and disappointment in myself leading to what I call “inertia”, a feeling of “what is the use in this struggle”, disappointment, hopelessness, and purpose.
    Nearly five years ago this came to a head when my wife of forty four years suddenly passed away.
    My anchor to the real world, in whom I trusted implicitly, some might say a crutch, I always knew to be available disappeared. She was an ISFJ I had known since grade school. I have found and with her help and one other source, the most successful way to break the cycle or the loop was to get myself out of my head.
    To do this was to force myself into a worthwhile “project” of helping someone else with their (usually emotionally charged problem). It’s seemed so counterintuitive to me an INTJ. But; this, call it a distraction works! Projects that do good for someone else improves a persons view of self worth and breaks the mental pattern. The loop will always return, but, now I know how to escape it.
    Just my thoughts over my search these last few years. I think it will work for anyone not just my type!

  • @David_Chime
    @David_Chime Pƙed 3 lety +3

    Sometimes I think I was born an ENTJ or ESFP but life and fear pushed me into the INTJ-T. My Ni gives me visions of kingship and the person I was meant to be but my Fi tells me it's false because of fear

    • @David_Chime
      @David_Chime Pƙed 3 lety

      @DĂ©bora Oliveira would you mind if I ask you to some of your experiences?

  • @fanistassopoulos4812
    @fanistassopoulos4812 Pƙed 3 lety +21

    Amazing content! You analyse the loop perfectly. Thanks for sharing your experience, i can identify with much of what you describe. It definitely is one of my favourite videos of yours.
    When i am in a Fi loop i feel really drained. I wouldn't say i feel lazy, just demotivated and doubting my decisions and abilities. Unfortunately it's impossible to ignore it. What i do is indulge in it for days at a time, i also incorporate my Te in the processes by reading psychology articles related to what bothers me and searching online for stories of other people who have gone through the same thing. I eventually come to an Fi- values based decision and then try to make a realistic plan about how i can get what i need. When i actually start taking steps towards executing the plan, that's when i feel better.
    So yea, we can't just ignore Fi, but getting stuck in it also doesn't help. I think the answer is Fi and Te working together and consulting with each other about what we want and what is realistic in the context of an Ni vision.
    PS. I loved the animation between chapters.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +3

      Thank you so much!! Drained is exactly the word for it!

    • @ruonanzheng2019
      @ruonanzheng2019 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      I'm in the loop, I read a lot of articles of this and watch these videos to try to get some inspiring tips this week. I think I'm the one who have spent so much time to spread fi out and shadowed it but feel drained. I just really want to get out this loop quickly. Can't belive I endure it for almost one and a half year.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +1

      @@ruonanzheng2019 Wow a year and a half is a long time to have to endure. You'll get out soon ❀

    • @JAMIEB22649
      @JAMIEB22649 Pƙed 3 lety +1

      I was going to say something like making sure your Fi and te working together more often.

  • @usernameusername6544
    @usernameusername6544 Pƙed 3 lety

    I am very glad that I came over this video you helped me out so much, thank you!-I hope that you did end up getting out of your loop because I know what it feels like and I really don't want anyone to be experiencing that ever

  • @MrEmre1998
    @MrEmre1998 Pƙed 3 lety

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.

  • @jenniferrichardson8343
    @jenniferrichardson8343 Pƙed 2 lety

    This video really hit home with my present situation. Thank you for your transparency.

  • @PaperSquirrelsCardDesigns
    @PaperSquirrelsCardDesigns Pƙed 2 lety +1

    I feel so proud of you looking back to this older video!! Look how well you've listened to yourself and put that Te to good use since then. Very well done! And I really appreciate that you let yourself be vulnerable during this time because that helped you identify the cause of the loop which is helpful too all of us. Our family has been going through a really hard time and your content has been so helpful to me (INTJ, 5w4) the past few weeks. Keep up the good work!!! ❀

  • @professorh8398
    @professorh8398 Pƙed rokem

    In this situation, I'd perfect my resume, update my LinkedIn, and quick apply to 100 jobs [takes literal minutes] in a convenient area (commute). It automatically sends the potential employers your resume with a single click. And then, you'll get calls for interviews/offers, and among all those possible options will be your high paying, optimal unicorn job where you can grow in ways that you desire to. That's what I did. Basically, spam apply until I have a job lined up and THEN quit your job 👍 On the down low, once you're about to nail that job, start asking trustworthy friends at your job if they would be willing to be your references.
    Comes down to this: have the job ready like a bullet in the chamber before you pull the trigger and quit your job.
    Oh, and great video, too. I'm an INTJ as well, so me giving feedback is basically a compliment. It's how I show I care 😅

  • @Dana-tt5ub
    @Dana-tt5ub Pƙed 2 lety

    I'm really glad that I've found this video!! I've been struggling with Ni/Fi loop for 3 months and it has caused me so much mental problems.

  • @jenramey1699
    @jenramey1699 Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci

    I'm beyond grateful for your videos. I'm in a loop right now and I've never been able to explain that shame feeling.

  • @QuadraWithLove
    @QuadraWithLove Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci

    This sounds like a description I could have given myself this week. Thanks for sharing.

  • @miltaniab
    @miltaniab Pƙed 2 lety +3

    You’re easily becoming my favorite channel. As someone who is INTJ, it felt like you were saying exactly what goes on in my head! So happy I found you ♄

  • @BuizelCream
    @BuizelCream Pƙed 2 lety

    I just saw this video, and as an INTJ this is truly relatable. Been stuck in this loop for so many times even before I could describe what was happening through the MBTI context. Thanks for this video!
    I'm currently seeming to sink into another loop recently, but over the years I have been doing a lot better in strengthening my Te (even before I could define it in MBTI terms again xD), but this video has been enlightening for me specifically to really see the transparency of what's happening to me lately. It inspires me to not tire out in my consistent Te fighting through.

  • @jjoploo
    @jjoploo Pƙed rokem

    this video is SO relatable and I just
 I really needed it, LOL. Especially your addressment of the shame. Thank you very much, and I wish you the best!! Now if you excuse me, I am going to cry for the next hour just to GET IT OUT OF THE WAY!

  • @DOC7ORT
    @DOC7ORT Pƙed 2 lety

    So relatable, thank you for sharing, this video is priceless, keep up the fantabulous channel; my advice is to listen to yourself in this video as it is one of the best sources over YT. Thanks.

  • @antistaticandi
    @antistaticandi Pƙed rokem

    This is the most relatable INTJ video I've ever seen. Thank you for your vulnerability.

  • @AM-ok2uv
    @AM-ok2uv Pƙed 3 lety +2

    Thank you for this, you are definitely right about the leadway to and out a loop.
    Currently coming out of a loop myself and looking back that was the case for me also, finally made the decision a week ago.
    Hope you are doing well, keep making these while you work towards achieving greatness :)

  • @obedrobles4701
    @obedrobles4701 Pƙed 10 měsĂ­ci

    YOU ARE DOING GREAT !! YOUR A BADASS!! Thanks so much I really relate a lot. Hope you do amazing in the next years . Or whatever timeline you have ❀. Brave and Confidence its so true !!

  • @nikkimariex
    @nikkimariex Pƙed 3 lety +1

    Thank you, Alexis! This was very helpful. I definitely know all too well the feeling of looping or Fi overload lol. I never took the time to become cognizant of how it all starts or is triggered and what helps to get back to “normal”. Your video has helped me to hold myself accountable and be much more aware. I wish you the best on your new career endeavors!! 💕

  • @promitadas515
    @promitadas515 Pƙed 3 lety

    This video is godsend! Currently trying to get out of loop but good lord convincing Fi to do Te is exhausting and downright eats away at my self confidence

  • @Rich2B1
    @Rich2B1 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    This really hit close for me. Guilty as charged !!! In the Ni - Fi loop 5:00 mark something hit me. For years I have had the ability to wakeup at what time I wanted with no alarm clock. I have always attributed this to an Fi - Se function. is this not a norm for INTJ's?
    As for the rest of the video, wow again it's comforting to see our process in dealing with Ni - Fi loops are much the same. I do find that only having internet and no tv to watch I tend tend spend a lot more time thinking/simulation that I can get into a loop if I dwell on certain things to long. I learned there is a time that I have to let Te take over.
    Another great video. I can relate to this!

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety

      Thank you so much!! And thank you for sharing your experience. Wow no alarm clock?? I wish. I have no idea about other INTJs.

  • @mariarinehart8667
    @mariarinehart8667 Pƙed 3 lety

    Thank you. This is helpful. I’ve been in this loop for a couple of weeks.

  • @RedMcgive
    @RedMcgive Pƙed 2 lety

    Your channel is bomb. Most of us aren't here for the comments were here for you. ❀

  • @philipkwong4605
    @philipkwong4605 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    Thanks for sharing your experiences with us! I am also really passionate about education and changing people's lives, but every time I have to make a huge decision that I can't predict in advance I end up escaping into the loop and just fall flat out into the grip. When I was a teenager and wasn't really aware of typology I would just be jumping into and out of loops constantly for the last 10 years of my life until I figured out what the issue was and how I can deal with it. Your tips and suggestions are so helpful with confirming the looping situation for me and how I can effectively deal with it. I've learned that processing the emotions from my Fi is absolutely necessary to getting out of the loop and I think its harder for INTJ males to accept this fact because of our habit of ignoring our emotions to fit social norms. I find that writing out the benefits and costs of a particular situation using a grid is very helpful in making decisions and closing the loops especially after I have brainstormed the most possible scenarios. Thanks for the informative video and how you continue to pursue your desire of educating and impacting peoples lives, even if it's not using the traditional format of the school system!

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety

      It's SOO helpful to write out benefits/costs!! Thank you so much! for that last sentence particularly ❀

  • @torisolomon4455
    @torisolomon4455 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    I honestly think we are world changers. I have this need to create an impact and have the type of influence that people like Jordan Peterson, Chamath Palihapitiya, Ray Salio, etc.. have had on society. It seems to ultimately come from a very deep desire to help people. Which fundamentally leads back to a place that allows me to comfortably exist in Ni by securing my environment. My mind is free to roam and consume information as much as it would like while knowing I have made an impact by hopefully improving the quality of life of those around me. That's actually what I would consider our "love language". Providing solutions. It says "I care and I want to help you." When that is rejected I think it can be difficult for our partners to understand the disconnect it can create. But, I feel like I went on tangent somewhat. I love your channel though and subscribed after watching this video. Keep up the great work. You're definitely making an impact and helping people. You've provided me with quality insight. Thanks Alexis.

  • @esraaabd-allah1626
    @esraaabd-allah1626 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    This thing about getting into the loop when making a big decision can't be more relatable!. Thank you!

  • @VoidOctopus
    @VoidOctopus Pƙed 2 lety

    I've gone through a very difficult Ni Fi loop for the past 10 months and i had a hunch that Te would definitely be the antidote, i found out about the loop/grip concept today and this is so helpful tysm!!!!!!

  • @chrisrogers777
    @chrisrogers777 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    Hey,
    I liked this, it was pitch perfect. Made me think of my groove, where I just shine. Was gonna say a lot but will keep it a little, I liked your transitions and where you riff, makes it worthwhile to the end.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +3

      Thank you Chris!! I know what you mean about keeping it short lol I always write the longest responses, only to erase it all and keep it to one sentence 😂

  • @AzraiRazuan
    @AzraiRazuan Pƙed 2 lety +1

    Haahhaahaha.. we've all been there. I feel you in this video. Thanks for the authenticity and courage.

  • @e00d20
    @e00d20 Pƙed 7 měsĂ­ci

    thanks for keeping it post, alex

  • @DarinHamel
    @DarinHamel Pƙed 6 měsĂ­ci

    I'm a 57 year old male and you just described my life in a nut shell. I laughed out loud too many times watching this. Thank you. You helped me.

  • @martinazivai
    @martinazivai Pƙed 3 lety +1

    I came out of my loop like a month and a half ago and it's still blurry some days when I don't feel like doing things or don't have the resources I wish I had to put my ideas into the best version I could ever do but, you're right, somehow I need to get things done and, in the meantime, I can focus on other aspects I have control over so that I can compensate this lack.
    Writing, planning and verbalizing these ideas have helped me be more conscious of the journey and shorten up my goals, so I feel less pressure as I'm telling myself that something was improved in the last three or four hours that I spent working on this thing in the morning, for example. Exercising is also one of my lifesavers, I don't hop onto the main activity I planned at the first minute of the day, instead, I try to warm up a bit and get some mental clarity doing exercise and then I carry out more effortlessly.
    Great video, thanks for handing over this valuable content. Stay safe.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Thank you!! It's a really good idea for us to "shorten up our goals"!! Love that advice I think I'll incorporate it into a future video!

  • @evelyn1558
    @evelyn1558 Pƙed 2 lety

    Its so funny how you're even looping a little bit in this video😂😂😂 that Ni-Fi is very apparent!

  • @Aetherealrizz
    @Aetherealrizz Pƙed 9 měsĂ­ci

    The perfect way to describe it I think you just solve my problem

  • @fraktallyfractals2083
    @fraktallyfractals2083 Pƙed 2 lety

    This is insanely relatable.

  • @paulmeyers42
    @paulmeyers42 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    Nice video, this must have been tough to publish but really informative, thanks for sharing it. I also find it helpful to talk to someone else to think through a problem or decision, I’ve tried to make that a habit. I find it can stop loops from even starting.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +2

      Thank you!! Ya it was tough to publish lol but it's seems worth it

  • @ForeverFashionGirl21
    @ForeverFashionGirl21 Pƙed 2 lety

    I am an INFP and I relate to the Te doing NOTHING. Then you have so much regret and you end up hating where your life is at. I then try to make myself be positive- this is not the life I wanted but it is still a blessing. You should make a video of the Fi Si loop.

  • @hahahahahaha3273
    @hahahahahaha3273 Pƙed 2 lety +1

    That loop sends me insane. Once it’s over, the guilt and shame that follows as a result of knowing it was the loop but in the moment I cannot get out of it and would just rather die. Tragic. I’d still rather die anyway.

  • @promitadas515
    @promitadas515 Pƙed 3 lety

    Man I absolutely love this video. Literally my internal dialogue

  • @squareroot52
    @squareroot52 Pƙed 3 lety +3

    Thanks for being open enough to put your struggles on display for us, and thereby allowing others to learn from you, as you are learning and figuring out what one ought to do. This is helpful, because I think that I can get bogged down, and I think that doing what you said, will likely help me, and others, when we get stuck in a loop as well.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety +1

      Thank you Darrell! I'm so glad it was helpful!

  • @ajuarez2800
    @ajuarez2800 Pƙed rokem

    hmm...well I know nothing about Ni:Fi or what any of that means yet. but everything you were saying made a lot of sense. i was seriously feeling like i was losing my mind. nothing was making sense anymore and i was about to check into a mental ward bc i just thought i was severely depressed. which i was but i couldn't figure out why. and now i know a few things i should try to keep getting out of this loop. i woke up finally feel a LITTLE bit more like myself so i will be happy to get back into my baseline of being.

  • @brennanbosco9477
    @brennanbosco9477 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    I really went full Te and some Se after my 428 day loop. Everything I wanted to get done I got done.

  • @richcardinal2269
    @richcardinal2269 Pƙed 3 lety

    This is great. Thank you!

  • @SaraHovera
    @SaraHovera Pƙed 2 lety +1

    isolating, eating too much, sleeping in late, skipping showers and producing values. Girl you know me so well đŸ€ŠđŸ»â€â™€ (I also majored in math in college but didn't like it very much haha) I am also having this dilemma where I don't really like my job and the project I am working on, but it pays well and it's hella pain to find a new one (in my field) 😟 I thought I was the kind to fall for money - maybe I still am, but now I start to realize that it is NOT the ultimate thing that I want with my life.

  • @margonewhall4646
    @margonewhall4646 Pƙed 8 dny

    Mindset, mindset, mindset!!! Reset your mind.

  • @MundoCasmo
    @MundoCasmo Pƙed 2 lety

    This video was very important for me.

  • @ACRINFJ
    @ACRINFJ Pƙed 2 lety

    I can literally feel your pain

  • @sruqus1
    @sruqus1 Pƙed 2 lety

    Ti makes Te jealous. Get accurate. Logic and emotion are like oil and water. You like math. Work your emotional state like a formula. I assign numbers, step back and look at them objectively. Ni\Te can't help but make up and play nice. Thanks for being so authentic and putting yourself out there.

  • @trevorfrayne6418
    @trevorfrayne6418 Pƙed 3 lety

    This is video is a shitshow, which means it will be one of my most successful videos and I'll have to deal with one of my shitshow videos. Lol I might not have that right. You are real in this video. I also find it relatable. Thank you for sharing.

  • @lillianedwards11
    @lillianedwards11 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci

    Ooof yes the decision paralysis. Thanks for identifying.

  • @nicholecampbell1451
    @nicholecampbell1451 Pƙed 2 lety

    I don't know how you managed to be more me than me but, cool. Thanks for falling on this sword.

  • @sophiabaptista5196
    @sophiabaptista5196 Pƙed 2 lety

    After watching this videos i concluded that i have been constantly living in a ni-fi loop for the past months, with one day or two of productivity. D:

  • @michellepodgurski4500
    @michellepodgurski4500 Pƙed 3 měsĂ­ci

    I am very thankful for this video! you have explained the best out of all the other videos I have watched. I am an INFP and have a friend who is an INTJ who is really struggling right now. Big things are changing in his life, and I wanted to know how to help in any way, but most of the things I read were just to give them space. As you can imagine, that doesn't sit well with me. Is there anything I can do to help besides giving space?

  • @ruonanzheng2019
    @ruonanzheng2019 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    yeah, it makes sense. My Ni- Fi loop on big decisions just make me doubt myself as an intp (sorry, no offence). I just stuck and accept situations I really hate, meanwhile feel so dispointed about myself.

  • @UMMM_CRINGE_
    @UMMM_CRINGE_ Pƙed 2 měsĂ­ci

    I got 100% introvert but i know how and to become an extrovert but i do get anxiety attacks when it's too much to handle like zone out, nausea, loss of appetite and bawling when alone

  • @thissunchild
    @thissunchild Pƙed 11 měsĂ­ci

    I get into loops when I get too little sleep coupled with Se exhaustion - an Se that I'm forced into experiencing for way over what my system can handle. Fun fact,: I'm a math - and English - teacher too, and have the same dilemma.

  • @99eggs
    @99eggs Pƙed 2 lety

    Being productive, in even a slightly meaningful way, will break the loop. I bet that the loop was broken the moment you posted this video. Of course once you post the video comes the anxiety of exposing yourself to being judged, and the let down from no longer actively producing - but at least it's not a loop. (did I do too much projecting?)

  • @light5634
    @light5634 Pƙed 2 lety

    Hey, Alexis! Don't worry that much about scattered that video is. At least, on the positive side, other INTJs are going to see their inner vacillations played out and have something to relate and probably feel less lonely about it :) - INFJ

  • @marfisamilite1128
    @marfisamilite1128 Pƙed 3 lety

    Thank you so much

  • @eenahdura9149
    @eenahdura9149 Pƙed 3 lety +2

    Same boat, sister.

  • @darlamerrill8052
    @darlamerrill8052 Pƙed 4 měsĂ­ci

    This might seem off subject but always know if your tyroid levels are within range. I was depressed for years with no answers until I found out how low my tyroid levels were.😼😊

  • @thomaskatt4450
    @thomaskatt4450 Pƙed 3 lety

    dang, as an intj listening to someone elses intj loop from a 3rd party impartial observer viewpoint ! its revealing cause then i think "wow, this is a mental hamster wheel i put myself in". or another analogy is i create a mental catch-22 condition that i have to resolve, like a mental chess game where i put myself in check and any move i make is checkmate, im trying to find the one remaining move that keeps my king alive

  • @menageriegardenshoppe
    @menageriegardenshoppe Pƙed 2 lety

    Thank You, I'm INFJ and I get in Ni/Ti loops,

  • @ara3906
    @ara3906 Pƙed 2 lety

    I’ve been in the ni fi loop for 2.5 years. I know its really long. Te to the rescueeee.

  • @heraldkurniaadi3753
    @heraldkurniaadi3753 Pƙed 2 lety

    That hit me hard... "Are you jealous of people who invented something?" Because to me inventors always come across as someone who actually contributed to society more often than spoiled and rich people do.
    I hope it's normal for at least INTJ to be aspired by a scientist or engineer, not disregarding them as "nerds", like what countless people may think...

  • @tomdudar9863
    @tomdudar9863 Pƙed 2 lety +4

    Hey, just wanted to say thanks for your vulnerability in this video! I've been in a loop myself for a while, and it really helped me to hear you talking about it so openly (especially when you feel like noping the world out haha).
    I was wondering, what do you think about cases when an immovable external factor is blocking your freedom to get what you Ni want? When external forces are stopping you to reach your vision and dreams, you tried everything but your hands are tied and you can't Te your way out of it (and you just have to wait for a long time, doesn't matter what you do, you can't speed it up), how do you approach a situation like that, and how do you work on getting out of a loop?
    Thanks:)

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 2 lety

      Thanks! Hmm well the answer would be very situationally-dependent, can you give an example? I have a hard time thinking of an example that you can't Te at least a little bit, but I'm maybe an over-advocate of personal responsibility.

    • @tomdudar9863
      @tomdudar9863 Pƙed 2 lety

      @@AlexisKingsley sure, so to give context I moved to a new country (with more business opportunities) to start my online business when I was pretty young, ultimately I started it successfully, but the goal for me has always been to travel, move to a different country, grow personally as well as growing my business at the same time, that's what I always wanted to do more than anything. (sort of a holistic growth in multiple areas of life personally as well as business growth)
      Some political things happened in Europe that's outside my control which has been preventing me from doing that in the last 1-2 years (which I already Te'd my way to be able to do financially).
      I really dislike being locked into this situation and been wanting to move on to a place where I'd be more fulfilled personally for years.
      I tried to find any loopholes, looked at every possible solution, but I couldn't find one (apart from sitting around and waiting X years), as if I'm hitting the same wall over and over again.
      So because of this I've been getting in and out of Ni Fi loops a lot, getting into apathy sometimes, losing motivation to work and grow my business until I can put myself into a better personal growth situation as well, or often my Fi gets pissed off and childish thinking what's the point of doing it if I can't reach what I want anyways.
      I know it's a bit vague, hopefully I could convey the meaning. I tried not to ramble too much, hopefully I succeeded, if I rambled too much, apologies, and thanks for reading!

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 2 lety +2

      @@tomdudar9863 Interesting... well I'd say try to find Fi things you're passionate about where you are and things that Se likes. Try to get those two functions on board so then Ni and Te are free to be productive without the Fi/se children screaming.

    • @tomdudar9863
      @tomdudar9863 Pƙed 2 lety

      @@AlexisKingsley hmm, thanks, that's a good idea, I'll try to do that!

  • @techieshu9553
    @techieshu9553 Pƙed 3 lety

    Thaaank youu

  • @SemanthaJen
    @SemanthaJen Pƙed 5 měsĂ­ci

    5:50, we don't want to be controlled, so we don't want to control others. I think it's fi.

  • @darlamerrill8052
    @darlamerrill8052 Pƙed 4 měsĂ­ci

    This happens easily in the dark days of winter.😊😱

  • @Ajayjohnson264
    @Ajayjohnson264 Pƙed 2 lety +1

    INTJ: Fi is really just like a thorn in your side
    INFP: Fi is really just like a knife in your forehead

  • @matthale5388
    @matthale5388 Pƙed 2 lety

    Story of my life

  • @DorlaVegas-cw2kz
    @DorlaVegas-cw2kz Pƙed 16 dny

    Sounds like retirement. Now im filling my exter time figuring out typing.

  • @DoNColey456
    @DoNColey456 Pƙed 3 lety

    6:41 so true

  • @nihonmaksudur7662
    @nihonmaksudur7662 Pƙed rokem

    Will my TE be as strong as before ?
    Will it permanently decrease my Intelligence?

  • @TheGodlyPolitician
    @TheGodlyPolitician Pƙed 3 lety +2

    Hey, couple of thoughts: 1) Agree with everything you said, thought want to particularly validate your thought process on removing harassing comments. I used to make CZcams videos and struggled with the same internal conflict until I realized it’s in the interests of others for us to protect our viewers from being burdened with viewing the incendiary comment. As an example, one of the videos is a tribute to WW2 yet it constantly kept attracting people who were posting pro-Nazi comments alleging cover-ups and how misunderstood Hitler was, despite the video clearly displaying recorded evidence of some of the atrocities they committed. After it kept happening, I finally just had to let go of my ego of never wanting to be accused of suppressing opinions that differ from mine and step in. In the same way I was trying to protect others from being terribly misled into subscribing to an evil political ideology, you are protecting any viewer of yours from being potentially misled into thinking harassment should be tolerated or even be given the respect of being allowed to stay within the video’s comment section. The more frequently an impressionable mind sees someone say something harassing without anyone calling them out on it, the more it becomes normalized and less questionable behavior in their head. 2) As a fellow Christ-follower, I can tell ya one thing that has MONSTROUSLY helped me with overcoming the things that cause me to endlessly Ni- Fi loop has been God, through His grace, taking me on a journey of learning the simplicity and purity of humility these past few months. The reason we loop, Christian and non-Christian alike, is because we feel a responsibility to make an impact and we feel ashamed when we’re not not meeting the demands of that responsibility. Underneath that belief though is an underlying assumption that we are capable of making an impact. We are not (at least the ones that really count- I.e. everlasting ones). God alone chooses what proves effective and what doesn’t, not us. I know that sounds kind of discouraging in saying that we’re powerless, but it’s actually been the most liberating realization I’ve ever had in my walk with Christ. God is in control. God is in control, not me. The salvation of the world does not rest on my shoulders. In fact, nothing rests on my shoulders except what He asks me to live out in child-like faith. If I come up with a strategy to try to accomplish something that I feel like God would want and it doesn’t produce the outcome I expected, it doesn’t mean my strategy was poor or that I didn’t execute right- God could have something else in mind. God alone controls whether something fails or succeeds, we only control whether we obey or rebel. You and I are incapable of screwing up His plan- it’s impossible. Last thing I’ll say on this- I CANNOT recommend the book Humility by a 1800s South African pastor named Andrew Murray enough. Both as an INTJ and as a Christian, it has been by far the most impactful book I’ve ever read outside of the Bible. Not exaggerating- INTJs don’t exaggerate haha. 3) Suggestion for future career: check out regulatory compliance, particularly consumer protection compliance. It’s a little niche so not too many INTJ career guides cover it, but I stumbled into it out of college four years ago and it basically feels like God built this career path specifically for me- absolutely bonkers crazy how much it aligns with INTJ strengths and the things we love doing. It pays incredibly well too for those who prove really good at it. High-level strategy, dissecting problems, finding their root cause, trying to think through all of their implications, creatively problem solving them, all for the purpose of ensuring federal and state law is complied with and that your company is treating consumers in a fair and ethical manner. Basically, it’s a dream- an INTJ at their core literally cannot stop themselves from identifying problems and trying to think through the most effective ways for those issues to be fixed.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 3 lety

      Thank you for such a thoughtful comment! You make some convincing points 👍

    • @dahliaherrod4301
      @dahliaherrod4301 Pƙed 3 lety

      This is a great comment on a great video. I too struggle with control and submission to God's commands. It doesn't help that I'm the eldest child so it usually was my job to handle stuff when my parents were working. This year the Holy Spirit led me to 3 words-responsibility, humility and patience. I think humility is the real knee-capper. I'll have to check that book out you recommended as any help would be great in my quest to learn to trust God in His infinite wisdom and power to handle things bigger than me.

  • @merie8265
    @merie8265 Pƙed 2 lety

    Programing and Tech will be a helpful switch of career for you perhaps

  • @akshitbansal104
    @akshitbansal104 Pƙed 2 lety

    I just realised that i might be an infj-intj hybridđŸ˜¶đŸ˜¶

  • @DonnasCorner
    @DonnasCorner Pƙed 2 lety

    Lol. This is me right now.

  • @TLS2SN
    @TLS2SN Pƙed rokem

    Is NI-FI loop the same thing as primal panic?

  • @vicb5118
    @vicb5118 Pƙed 3 lety

    Hiiii!!!!!! Come study Data Science omg u gonna love it! ~ INTJ

  • @menageriegardenshoppe
    @menageriegardenshoppe Pƙed 2 lety

    Can this be confused as imposter syndrome? Is this an INTJ thing?

  • @squareroot52
    @squareroot52 Pƙed 3 lety +1

    On a more personal note, instead of looking at teaching as all or nothing, I hope that you have considered teaching part time? That may only partially eliminate teaching, but it would also cause you to take a smaller financial hit. I suspect that you and your husband had considered that, but I wanted to make sure.

  • @stu6097
    @stu6097 Pƙed 2 lety

    interesting you want to leave teaching. I would have thought your E subtype of "Social" would have enabled you to keep teaching. I have always wondered why INTJs would like teaching in the first place. I always thought a Fe -Ti users would be more into teaching so I was surprised you were a teacher in the first place.. My ISFJ sister teaches math in 7th and 8th grade.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 2 lety +1

      Ya! I think my social instinct is what led me to "teach" online with youtube! But this way there's less Fe 😂

  • @Katievillers
    @Katievillers Pƙed 17 dny

    Are you still doing cognitive function typing? I can’t seem to find a way to get a hold of you. I’m not great with technology! Lol.

  • @Z_question
    @Z_question Pƙed 2 lety

    Talking with hands has to be an INTJ thing. Everyone I know has pointed it out at one point or another. I never noticed until now.

    • @AlexisKingsley
      @AlexisKingsley  Pƙed 2 lety

      I have no idea but I definitely do 😂 I think I heard once that J's do

  • @intj5w4rloei87
    @intj5w4rloei87 Pƙed 2 lety

    Thanks i think I might be in a fucking loop ,i am doing law but I fucking hate it it's so boring 😂 but I have to do it it has a lot of gain i can't get Fi in line so sucks like i get a legal mind which is unique,i get international connections in line with my goals it is like the coding of social reality which is has relations but it is so boring i thought maybe you i could like induce interest but I am constantly hitting a wall , i am jealous of innovative n inventive people people who start things am jealous of coding n programming especially Ai engineering but my credentials aren't in my side what do you think i should do ? play by my demon function or pursue My hero function even if I might not go far ?btw any intjs doing law care to share with me some of your strategies to get by ..?

  • @jameswilkerson4412
    @jameswilkerson4412 Pƙed 8 měsĂ­ci

    This is Ni-Fi, right ?