I’m Completely Exhausted and Want to Give Up on Life
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- čas přidán 19. 05. 2024
- I’m Completely Exhausted and Want to Give Up on Life
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I am seriously considering selling everything, settling my lease, and driving away, going nowhere for no reason. I'm overdone.
Do it, except have a reason. I did the same thing. I think it would have been better if I figured that out first. What do you need that you don't have.
Same here . Im sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Give yourself some time. As Dr. John says, and I paraphrase, Run to something, not from something.. I don't know your situation, so all I can do is generalize. Get some counseling of some type. Maybe a career counselor, or a family therapist. Maybe just go back to old fashioned family values, like telling kids NO and disciplining them. Try to figure out what you want to do first, then develop a plan. Just getting a plan together sometimes is all it takes to feel better because you don't feel trapped. (I am talking to myself here) In the meantime, lots of HUGS.
Dr.John you are awesome.
I have had that thought recently too just grabbing my dogs and getting the heck out of dodge.
I’ve felt this way pretty much my whole life. Life is exhausting! The human experience is tough.
Especially with 5 kids... lord
His wife is emasculating him to no end. He works full time and has 5 kids and busts his ass for his family, and then his wife tells him the help he’s giving is “wrong”. This is why he’s burned out. He puts in more than 100% effort and gets rewarded with criticism and the feeling that he’s “wrong”. I know this is the case from personal experience. Women need to be held accountable for how they treat men in our society and as wives. What we do as men never seems to be enough.
Because men seek validation for their existence from their wives. This is bound to happen. You are right about all the other things.
Rick is awesome. He is carrying a heavy burden. His reaction? To be the best husband and dad possible. He deserves joy.
I love and respect Rick SO much,....and I've never met him. What an amazing guy. I dearly hope his wife understands what she has in him and appreciates him and TELLS him.
No
No no no no no no no
C
This is amazing.. I have faced this for years. I turned 50, and my body fell apart.... loneliness is right on as well.
As a woman..I'm very thankful to the caller for sharing. I didn't realize the weight that men may feel at times trying to succeed at doing it all. There's so much stuff about women doing it all but this topic is not often touched.
It's true. They have a whole house on their backs plus a nagging wife at times.
Words cannot describe the amount of this that happens on basically a daily basis for many.
Society said we can't speak on it, "be a man"
etc.
I feel this as the woman
@@Living1232 A lot of people do including yourself, you would keep scrolling if you didn't.
It seems lot more like women suck it up and do all these mundane tasks it while men don't. Only men have a greater need to be congratulated or encouraged for doing what they shouldn't have to be told to do. Every single couple I know has a dynamic where the women do more with the house and kids, and most of them also contribute just a much financially. Men are simply entitled and arrogant. They have been told all their life they can have it all without merit, want to be the king of their castle or go and have a whopping FIVE kids but they can't even do everyday tasks. The fragile male ego has always been around. They underperform but have an above average desire to be told how great they are. It is a lack of humility.
Most people feel this way and don't have 5 kids. Props to this dude, he's doing his best with the cards he was dealt.
I grew up in a negative critical family. They don't have to say you suck, I grew up feeling worthless. I never realized how negative I was until I moved away for a long time and was around more positive people, then revisited.
Yeah. And the worst part is nobody is worthless. And some people are really good actually. But no matter how good you are and how much people tell you how good you are, once you grew up feeling worthless you always will feel you suck.. its a long road
I feel the exact same as this man. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and have no one in my corner.
You have us. Feeling trapped is the worse feeling in the world. Reach out to someone.
Don't give up! Give it to God.
Hey maybe we could be travel buddies!
How are you doing? it has been a couple of months, sine you posted this, are you doing better?
At some point it's hard to even reach out to the people who you think would undoubtedly support you and maybe even said they would support you ... but it's just too hard since you're physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
I've been there and I've done that. I don't have a magical advise except a few cool things I heard and which helped me: do the smallest possible thing you can think of which would help you. That little thing could be very hard to do so pat yourself on that back if you do it. Feel positive about it.
Another thing is: carve out time for some physical activity. Go for a walk for example. Even if it's just a really short distance, it seems to help.
Something about this call really hit home. I hope this guy gets the help he desperately needs. My grandfather at the age of 49, who was a father of 3, committed suicide when my mom and her sisters were around high school age. I can't help but think that this possibly is similar to what he was going through. My mom said that the family never saw the signs and he never talked about his feelings or seeked help. God speed Rick! Good for you for seeking help. It starts here.
I thought the same thing. He needs professional help who can help him to talk about everything just like here; otherwise, he can quit one day over the sudden. I am happy he reached out. I hope dr delony will follow up with him to make sure he is safe. I think at this point it is became dr DeLong responsibility to make sure rick will get professional help
Very well said.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
It makes me sad that people don’t take men’s mental health serious. I know work is stressful. His wife Sounds like an ungrateful nag. I understand she needs help too but she shouldn’t btch at him when he’s trying.. I make sure my husband has his outlets even encourage it because I want him to be ok mentally. He’s a wonderful husband ,dad and provider but work stresses him. I rub his back after work / try to be his safe place. Yes I need things from him and he makes it happen so he deserves PEACE . At the very least .
This guy is gonna be okay!
As an engineer myself, this hits home in so many ways. I quit my job a month ago due to loneliness, despair, and a work environment that hurt myself. I decided to move home to be with family, and to try to repair the broken relationship with my dad, but every try I've made hasn't worked because I've been thinking as a problem solver instead of a relationship builder. I've sacrificed my home, my privacy, my community, and my church to try to fix this and find connection, and I've failed to do it the right way. I'm mentally exhausted as well, and not knowing where my future is going, it's been nearly a year where I haven't been able to breathe. I'm going to reach out to a friend to help me clarify my priorities and move out of this situation. I hope I can find some way of returning to normalcy, because this season is killing me man.
If anyone reads this, please pray for me. My name is Jaden.
Jaden, sending you a warm hug from North Texas and yes I am going to pray for you.
Jaden ...many prayers for you from me and my family outside of Boston
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Lord, wrap your arms around your child, Jaden. Give him courage and inspiration for each day. Amen.
I just quit my federal job over the same reasons you did. Contemplating moving back home to be closer to my family but have no idea of my future and where I want to go or what I want to do. I’m a veteran and suffer from severe ptsd and everything I know career-wise and qualify for I do not enjoy whatsoever. No kids and single 36 years old. Not anchored into anything. Maybe I should join the circus
Sending love and peace Jaden ❤️🙏🏽
Anxiety brainfog is a real thing. Anxiety can make it hard to think clearly, further exacerbating the mistakes.
I can’t imagine the anxiety I’d have if I had five kids and one of them special needs.
A supportive partner is so important, both ways
Poor guy. You can tell nobody in this man's personal life asks him how he's doing or listens to what he has to say/think. Once he got the chance to open up to someone who was listening he just spilled his guts. Hope he's doing better ❤️
I pray I meet a man of this caliber someday not so far off...
His honesty, vulnerability, deep abiding love for his family, his drive to figure himself out, leaving no rock unturned and rising up against the very human desire to quit is just incredible. A true man of value.
Bless you and your family.
theres plenty of us out there
I hope he opens up to his wife. I think she will be shocked at how undervalued he's feeling. He needs a big hug and needs to hear all the appreciation his family really feel for him. Never let those you love be in any doubt about how lucky you feel to have them in your life and avoid regret
We lose what we take for granted .
I have...and the feedback was just as bad.
The thing is too, men think that they will be looked down on when the reality is most women love the idea of their husband sharing feelings and talking about stuff like this. It's actually one of my favourite qualities in a guy. I hope we can reduce the stigma of men thinking they can't be emotional or feel anxiety. They aren't bloody robots!
Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of women can’t or don’t want to deal with it. They say they want men who open up, but reality proves to be very different.
You may want to hear struggles from your brother, your nephew, or your dad, but not your husband/lover. There are few things as a man you can do to turn a woman off more than being vulnerable.
Myself and married men the world over can confirm this.
What the caller needs like most American men is male friendship.
@@Evil-Rod-Farva women say and do two.different things. His wife will not like him anymore. She will cheat
Men are expected to suck it up and get on with it while emotions take a back and seat and after doing that for years or decades it all hits like a Mack truck in our 40' and 50's.
My son was a very tiny sick premie,
He didn’t speak until 3 .. He had every service available to him, IEP all the way to & thru college.
He has been training at the age of 24 for the State Troopers…. He has been accepted to the 6 month State Trooper academy!
I cry happy tears!! never ever give up on a special needs kid!
Congratulations to your son. We need him. And no doubt you are a fabulous mother.
This is an amazing comment. I have 3 special needs children, and 2 of them were very premie. It gives me hope. I know one day they are going to catch up to where they need to be. I feel it in my bones!!
I realize this was 2 years ago but I'm so happy for you and your Son. How did everything turn out?
This is the most honest phone call. I appreciate the words of wisdom since I am in a similar situation. Thanks Dr. Delony.
I’m glad you were here to hear the call. This call made me cry. So glad thus guy was so vulnerable.
I'm 40 and so exhausted I feel like I have nothing left. Every time things start looking up and I start building I lose it all. Been spiraling for months. Finally got a hand on it, but it just feels like it's all for nothing. None of it even matters. I wanted so many things, now I don't want anything. What's the point of having anything if you can't share it with the person you love? Been lying to myself for months. 💔
This guy is a legend.
Even legends need rest, healing, and support! ❤
Glad to hear this caller. I feel this way a lot.
Sending you love ❤
Hugs
Me too
Yep that's it, it's like the average person out there has literally just given up. When you're younger you have dreams and aspirations to achieve great things but as you get older and the world just absolutely beats you down and you get caught up with your fears it all changes, most young people just haven't experienced enough disappointment yet in life to completely give up on their dreams.
This is me, I’m exhausted trying to do right by everyone and everything but nothing I do is right. No progress. No appreciation. Feels like all just a waste.
Praying for you. Don’t give up God loves you.
@@Sillyscents936 thank you for being a sweetheart. God loves you too. ❤️
I felt like that until I started becoming a jerk. I was always doing what everyone else wanted and it felt like my wants were always on the back burner. Then one day, I decided to do what I wanted. It didn't make people happy, and I felt horrible about it. But I had to be okay with that. Over time, it got easier to do what I wanted without caring what people thought. It feels like the weight of the world is off my shoulders and I am finally free, and much happier.
You are 100% correct doctor. Loneliness is a serious killer.
My husband of 21 years is so verbally and emotionally abusive for many years, and i cant get out of the relationship for many reasons. Im so broken and tired. Im done.
Holy cow as a young engineer who just wants to be happy with my job and family my biggest fear is finding myself in this situation
This awesome man's tank is running on empty. Thanks Rick for being such a caring, loving husband and father. I am sorry that no one told you that your presence and willingness to serve are irreplaceable and much appreciated in this world.
17:22 17:22 17:41 and the k
Thank you for making this call Rick. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that feel the exact same way but aren't capable of sharing
Also a great call for those of us who might have our own Rick that we're not appreciating enough.
I just want to wrap my arms around this father and tell him that he is enough- this gentleman is a man of honor and commitment. Please Rick don't underestimate the gifts you bring to your children and the world- keep talking, keep reaching out- you are valued and I value and respect you for your bravery as well as your compassion. Thank you,. 🌻
Your words don't mean anything. This man is going to keep suffering. He needs these words from people he is immediately related to. Not from you. But I know he most likely won't get it. Throwing words around on the Internet is cheap. Practically caring for another person is expensive.
@@SK-tk6bi I meant no disrespect and I apologize if I offended you. I actually agree with you that the love and concern need to come from those closest to him. I was just sharing my feelings and my heart. I have watched many friends suffer with depression- some who have taken their lives. I have been with people in the moment and through their suffering and struggles. That’s probably why I responded to this. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for sharing your response.
@@juliemariariley3212 I also did not really mean to get angry at you. I just know the frustration of reading supportive messages from strangers but not from people who are closest to you. You really intended to help the man, so I am sorry that I criticised your comment.
@@SK-tk6bi no worries 🌻 I didn’t take it badly- I could tell you were frustrated. Thank you for your willingness to share your thoughts and your honesty!
The world needs more people like you, Julie! ❤
This one made me cry. I think this is an example of how men's mental health doesn't get checked or supported. Sometimes us women and wives think the guy can take on a ton of stress and be ok with it because they don't complain. I hope this guy got the help he needed and that their marriage is in a better place than when this call came in.
I know the feeling of being tired of life and not being excited about the future.
This was me 8 months ago.
You need healing and need to go to the root of your problem.
Go to therapy and start loving yourself.
You cannot fix it by yourself.
I feel like I am speaking to myself …
I am an engineer too and tried to fix everything and I couldn’t.
I finally quit my engineering job because I was no longer excited about going to my dream job. Despite the money and the financial security and a beautiful family, I contemplated suicide.
Thanks to my wife for being my side through the relapse and detoxing.
This is a journey man!
Today, I am healing and living my life.
I am spending time with my wife and kids and I am taking my hands off of control and problem solving.
You got this!
Good luck man!
Thank you for your advice, I'm in the same boat and it's good to see there may be a light at the end of the tunnel.
YAYYYYYYY
Man dude the more I listened the more I felt nothing but the raw knife of empathy for this man.
I really appreciate this call from Rick. I am a single guy, 40 years old, but dealing with similar issues minus the kids. I tried to be vulnerable with the person I love the most about my depression and she told me I was pathetic. I really want to end things at this point. Nothing I do, the people I help or take care of, none of it seems to matter. Everyone seems entitled to me sacrificing for them. And for the one person who I look to for support to call me pathetic when I was trying to be honest and vulnerable for the very first time...well that just left me at a loss. At this point I feel like there is nothing left for me to live for. I'm either going to make a plan for recovery or a plan for escape and I don't know which one it will be. I want to keep living, but I don't see any reason to.
I hear you.
Dude get out of that relationship and start rebuilding from within
I just want to say that you have to decide on what it is you are living for. Don’t put your value on that one person. You are not pathetic, you are more powerful than you can imagine. I love you and want to see you win in this life! You got this!! 😊
I've never been on a relationship and I'm desperate for someone to love like that... But it I opened up to my vulnerabilities and what I got back was: "you're pathetic", I'd tell her to go kick rocks even though it will hurt. If she thinks that it's pathetic for a man to suffer, for a man to try his all for everyone and feel exhausted... Then she's not the kinda person I would want to give my heart to. I suggest you realize your worth and seek someone who will value you completely... Keep fighting man, you're not alone in this and you can make it
I did not expect to hear me 17 years from now in this guy. This hit realllly hard.
For sure. I kept thinking he's just a few steps ahead of me. Different details but headed at the same place to the same place.
Depression can be a signal and we have to listen to that signal . We don’t just bury it some more . What we bury grows . I too have considered just down sizing completely and moving away . I’m over the rat race of life .
I was put in the special needs class for people who were mentally disabled or with severe learning disabilities. My parents took me out and offered me support and I harassed teachers and other students to help me when I needed it. I ended up getting straight A's in college and got my CPA certification for Accounting. Turns out I had dyslexia and it just wasn't well known back then but with support I was able to function and succeed.
Good for you! Happy to hear about your success! :)
Johns doing such a huge service to men by normalizing talking about things like anxiety and depression as a male. So many guys don't even consider it a possibility because of how they're told their whole lives just to suck it up and be tough. I sometimes wonder if the statistic of women having higher rates of anxiety and depression is actually true or if guys are just under reported. It seems like a lot of men don't even entertain the idea so it's great John is bringing that idea to male listeners.
It’s possible he doesn’t even really know why he is suicidal. From experience, sometimes it’s just there. Sometimes, you’re just exhausted, you just don’t want to deal with life anymore and it’s hard to pin down exactly why. With that said, if I were his wife, I would absolutely want to know if he is feeling this way so I could be there for him. I hope he does open up to his wife.
A lot of men feel this way. Do as much as we can and go over and above what everyone needs and are still not appreciated in the slightest. It can be a frustration and sometimes lonely situation with no positive reinforcement.
Rick is a hero. So brave and honest. I wish him peace. ❤️
Sounds like a life I don't want to live. Where is his rest time? Where is his time. No one ever thinks about him and just expects expects expects. His whole day is precalculated and one little mess up or tweak ruins it. He needs something new.
It's called marriage
I pray he gets some help. He’s so awesome and responsible and on the brink of a huge crash. I know.
THIS is my life too... I've had this conversation with The LORD so many times, even multiple times just this week.
It's overwhelming...
I'm thankful for the courage of such Men (Rick) to speak from his heart, the Truth of pain and concerns.
I pray LORD, Bless and Perfect Everything That Concerns Rick and others living/wondering about their lives....we need HOPE that only YOU can give.
Amen and AMEN 💞
MARANATHA 🌄
Amen❤
This is such a valid concern. He’s overwhelmed and not being recognized or appreciated or rewarded in life. I’m in a similar position. Sometimes I think I should pack up my stuff and disappear
Where would you disappear to? I think a lot of men feel this…there’s so much pressure on everyone these days but for what?
@@bobbyball1057 I don’t know if a lot of men feel this kind of way but there’s a ton of pressure on everyone and I feel like it’s gotten worse in the past few years. I wish we could go into a pod where we could hibernate and clear our “cache” and re-emerge like a fresh new person without stress and stressors
Thank you to Rick for making this call. I went through burnout due to obligations to my elderly grandmother and my aging parents. I was angry, mentally exhausted, irritable, and sick of life. I am doing better but still has work to do on myself. Good call Dr. John
I can relate and its nice to know I am not alone! Children arent the only path to burnout.
This guy is incredibly strong. I hope he gets help for himself. He is worth it and he is good enough.
I have an especial needs daughter. I have seen how intelligent she is, how kind, how funny, how witty, how amazing she is. So I decided that I’m done with all the bull crap! I was done hearing things about my child that in my core I knew were lies. I pulled her out of her school, homeschool her ever since and limited those evaluations for ONCE a year. Everyone is doing better, making progress and much happier! You are the parent! Not the doctor. Doctor might be a specialist on a condition, but YOU are a specialist on your child. Sometimes enough is enough.
Rick please hang in there! Your family needs you so much more than you can imagine. My dad died by suicide when I was almost two and my mother was 7 months pregnant with my younger brother. Our whole life we went thinking we weren’t worth loving or living if even our own father didn’t care enough to stay with us. Unfortunately my brother died by suicide as well almost 9 years ago and I have been fighting against those thoughts for most of my life almost losing the fight. I’m trying so hard to end the cycle for my own family but when those thoughts impose on your mind always remember your kids. You are more important and loved than you know. Suicide doesn’t end the pain, it just transfers it to someone else.
Jessica,
My wife left me earlier this year, due to my depression and defensive anger.
I am in so much pain I often contemplate suicide.
BUT, I have 3 little children who need a funny, kind, responsible resilient Daddy.
For Kaylee’s sake, I’m not going anywhere.
Thank you for your story, I cannot imagine your pain. Take your hurts to Jesus. He died to break the power of sin and He rose to life to show us that we can live forever.
@@jackcoleman5955 I’m so sorry about your situation. I know how important it is to have someone by your side especially when struggling with depression and defensive anger. I pray that God be with you and give you the strength and courage to keep going every day and that He surrounds you with people who are going to love you and lift you up. It is hard, but I know you can overcome it. Those girls are so lucky to have you and keep being the silly, goofy and loving dad.
I’m so sorry that you’ve had that to deal with. It is so painful and lonely to be here sometimes so I have struggled with those thoughts too. I wish you all the love and joy in the world and for us both to never give up ❤
I struggle too 😢
This man is really in tune with himself. I’m impressed.
Brave man. Hope he gets the help he needs.
I think he’s scared of his wife. He is tired but I bet that if he went to her and said “I’m struggling, life is hard right now”, she would go into a tantrum about how much she does and how she’s not complaining about it. He wants to be the strong man in the house, he can’t talk to her because she won’t say anything either.
When he said the real reason his kids will call in in twenty years hit like a meteor on the surface of the earth. That was a powerful statement. Very good.
Rick need to have fun and have a little more joy everyday. Everyones rooting for you.
Feeling unappreciated is the worst.
I hope Rick’s wife and his children make father’s day more frequent, To appreciate this guy’s dedication to being a family man and so that rick feels a life of fulfillment and appreciation.
This hits home so bad. I'm crying while watching this
Everything about this hit home for me. More than I ever realized. This guy is me!
I felt this hard. I heard how bad at I am at everything from childhood. So anything I do, I second guess, double check, triple check & still think it’s wrong. And it often is. I get this. This feeling sucks. I have a wonderful husband & a wonderful marriage, but I still feel like a suck at everything. I’ve recently found one thing in excellent at & it’s amazing to have that, but I still push all friends away & don’t stay connected. I really hope he gets the help he needs.
God this hurt so much. I was just listening to this on a whim and I realised show much I was crying because of it. Your advice was so solid and I hope you're keeping this stuff up a year later. Take care man. All of you
Most men live lives of quiet desperation. I wish him luck.
I don't think this has anything to do with his kids. This guy has no self esteem or self worth . Sounds like he suffers from serious depression
How are you supposed to have self-esteem or self-worth when everyone around you berates you despite your efforts ?
Yeap - he's overly agreeable, never says no to anyone, maintains his wife's acceptance by always doing what she says, and escapes into his work as an engineer.
This is just my experience, but maybe he’s just extremely sensitive and struggles with anxiety? I’m much better now, but I think exactly this. People will make comments and critiques about me and I will dwell on them for years! I will replay my day over and over in my head. It’s such a waste of energy and it’s very draining. He needs to learn to let things go, know that he’s not ever going to be perfect, and learn to tell people “no” and make time for himself. Easier said than done.
I am crying. I feel just like he. The thread was placed by my step-dad and I am now 52 and can't break the thread. My mother allowed him to abuse me in EVERY way just to protect herself and her standing in life. When I confronted her about it 20 years ago her only response was "you turned out allright"!
I was married to a man just as abusive as my father (just to me- not my kids) for 20 years! I am a hoarder and have no self esteem, no friends, no education, no career or job of any kind, I can't make the tiniest of decisions as to what to get rid of, who I am, what I want to be in life or if I should just end it all. I think it's pretty obvious that I did not "turn out alright"!
I have always been the yes girl. Always doing what everyone else wants me to do. I do not know who I see when I look into the mirror (when I can bring myself to). I never feel good enough or that I have done enough...and I can tell you with 100% positivity that those thought are enough to make you exhausted. Add on all the other pressures of normal life and you feel like a waste of air.
I hope with everything in my being that this man finds himself and his inner joy and shares that with his kids. They will get to have memories and experiences that will guide them toward a better relationship with themselves.
Everyone need a dad like he. Those kids are so lucky. One day they will understand that fact.
HE needs to learn that now.
Thanks for your time.
Oh, honey, just great big hugs. I am so so so sorry for your pain, you didn't deserve any of that horribleness. I grew up with very controlling narcissistic parents and also was always a "good girl" and spent the majority of my energy trying to be what everyone else wanted too. It has left me with some serious identity issues, similar to what you are struggling with, so I feel your pain and know how paralyzing it can feel. It sucks, and no one deserves that feeling.
It would be a travesty if the abuse and neglect of your stepfather, mother and husband is allowed to continue to hold you back. They don't deserve that level of power, it is a vast injustice that they have occupied so much of your mind and your energy for so long. A good counselor can help you get that monster off your back, it has really overstayed its welcome.
Who knows where life might still lead you!!! 52 is YOUNG. You have plenty of time to heal, to figure out what genuinely makes you happy versus what is unhealthy coping behavior, to find a calling that you enjoy.
It is a great big huge world out there full of possibilities, and since you aren't sure of who you are or what you like, you have so many adventures to have and experiences to try as you discover yourself. What a gift that could be, if you are willing to accept it. What you have been up to this point does not have to dictate what or who you will be for the rest of your life. YOU get to write the rest of the chapters.
You aren't your hoard, that's just a physical manifestation of the amount of unaddressed trauma burdening your mind. Therapy can help you sort that out and bring you peace, and then you can tackle what to do with the stuff. Trying to make sense of the stuff without making sense of yourself is not going to work, they are linked.
You aren't the person your step father told you you were, and you aren't the person your husband said you were either. You were born as a beautiful baby girl full of potential and she hasn't gone anywhere, she's still right there inside of you waiting patiently to be discovered. She deserves your love and is so very worth the effort of fighting for. Please, get some help to heal from the abuse you suffered and find out who you truly are, because you deserve, and are fully capable of having, a future of peace, contentment and joy.
Jesus loves you. Sounds cheesy, I know that. I hope life works out better for you in the future. You deserve it. Choose you. I wish you well.
Wow..I feel like this guy nailed how I feel very often. Sounds like an awesome guy that doesn't suck at anything to me.
Rick, so many people are rooting for you. You sound like an amazing and kind man. 🙏🌷
Call of the year. This is a genuine good man. We need more Ricks. Bro please heal. You owe it to yourself.
OMG, he is verbalizing the way most men are treated, the provider that everybody is expecting to only provide.
The caller, Dr. John...I was blown away by both guys. Made me want to reach through my pc and shake the crap outta Rick and tell him, "You ROCK." Holy crap the guy's got his stuff together more than he gives himself credit for. I would've caved LONG before him (but he didn't). And the solid guidance from Dr. John...."I dare you to take your wife out to dinner, hold her hands across the table, I'm exhausted...." Priceless. It's a place to start. Rick sounds like the best human being in so many ways. I pray he sees it too. Love this channel. It's my new go-to.
Wow this is one of the best calls I’ve heard. John is on fire!!!!!!! Such bulletproof sound advice
Man oh man John. You had a heavy responsibility on this call. This poor man is at a low point. You handled it well.
A little late, but This broke my heart! I have gone through something similar, and he lasted much longer than I did. Rick, as soon as you become honest with yourself and those around you, and if they are willing to listen, things will get better! Will be praying for you!
That's totally the depression that is making him feel as if he sucks at everything. He is clearly doing a really good job keeping everything afloat, but you just don't see that unfortunately when the depression hits you. It's just the worst at destroying the way you see yourself.
This caller sounds like one of the best humans there is. Sounds like a truly amazing person, I hope he is in a better place now and appreciated. I just left a relationship because of zero appreciation of my effort for 4 years straight. People suck.
This guy reminds me of myself. No matter what I do, my employer never thinks it’s enough. They just keep asking more more more of me without any raises or title changes. And they always say they’re going to hire people to help me, but they never do. I reached the point where I am like Peter Gibbons from Office Space and just go in and do what I can even though my boss yells at me about productivity all the time I just ignore it.
My son had special needs & I hated going to IEP meetings. But every year he always did better and I knew my kid better than anyone did.
I feel bad for that guy. I have no kids and feel exhausted. It just seems to get worse over time.
2021 was the hardest, darkest time of my life. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually BROKEN. But now I feel genuinely GRATEFUL and BLESSED that I had to go through that phase because GOD has graciously REVEALED Himself to me in miraculous ways. I am fortunate that He allowed me to know Him at a very young age, but this year is SPECIAL because of what WE (yes, GOD and me) have been through last year. He showed me how POWERFUL prayers truly are when I started to focus on WHO HE IS rather than who I am, on WHAT HE CAN DO rather than what I deserve. The experience was MAGICAL. He showed up BIG TIME and assured me that HE is indeed a LISTENING and RESPONDING GOD. Oh how my faith has skyrocketed as a result! Now more than ever, I have very bright HOPE for my future because I personally experienced how RELIABLE God is. And for that I will forever be grateful. GLORY BE TO GOD, MY EVER FAITHFUL FATHER. ♥️♥️♥️
To everyone who's struggling right now, please know that GOD LOVES YOU. He wants to help you and give you peace. Please surrender your burdens to Him and allow Him to move in your life.
"Because he loves Me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges My Name. He will call on Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." (Psalm 91:14-15)
Please hold on to this bible verse because WHATEVER GOD SAYS, HE FULFILLS. ✝️
Props to this guy’s self awareness.
What a good man Rick is. For anyone who suffers from a similar internal dialogue to Rick, I really recommend researching self compassion therapy. That internal dialogue that beats us down to nothing, needs to be challenged. We would never torment our children, partner or friends with that dialogue, but too easily we do it to ourselves. Take care friends!
I’m the same. Engineer with 2 non verbal autistic children. My wife and I are physically, emotionally, mentally exhausted. No support from family. I look at my future and feel hopeless and despair. I pray to God and my savior Jesus. I hear about endurance, patience, Gods love even during pain, all joy when you fall into diverse troubles, sanctification, you’ll be rewarded in heaven, pain and remorse today is minimal compared to the glory later…and over and over. I’m tired, I’m frustrated, and I’ve had it. Then, I wake up and it’s another day. I hear God asks us the same question everyday: Do you trust me? It’s getting harder to say Yes.
How are you now? Praying you find some relief from the burdens of your mind. You've got this
I am almost this guy, even a licensed engineer, except I am 37 and only have 1 (fairly advanced) toddler son.
Seriously, nothing is ever good enough for anyone yet I still keep trudging forward because I love the people in my life.
This guy is incredibly strong to have made it this far and incredibly brave to open up about his situation.
I am 3:50 minutes in and I am bawling. I am feeling like this too, and its absolutely exhausting. I am only 32 and I am so exhausted.
@@runningbear6391 I agree. I can barely take care of myself.
I feel this man. I’m 42, great wife, three healthy young kids, good career, two dogs, good family etc., but it’s very hard to keep up with while also battling stress and demons (regrets, guilts, embarrassments etc). I found my testosterone was low. I’m on test gel, got the number up to a good level. I’m in the gym more and active in general more. I’m trying to eat less, and drink more water. The sun helps. Reading instead of scrolling helps. Talk therapy has helped some. Reconnecting with friends definitely feels good. Started taking a high quality multivitamin with methylated B vitamins as well as chelated magnesium.
Best and most moving call on the show. Dr. John, this was the very best advice, interaction, and empathy from you. You're good but this call was superb. I am actually praying for this amazing man. He sounds like a dad or husband who is selfless and has a family blessed to have him. Wow. That's one I will long remember. He IS brave and so very loved. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Amen❣
OMGOSH this man is incredible!!
He needs to love himself. He needs to receive love. He needs to talk with his family and tell them how he feels. I will pray for him. God loves this man.
I've heard people talking about "engineer brain", but I've never actually "experienced" or seen it - until now. Dude, it's OKAY to not know how to fix a problem. I think your wife might have some great suggestions, if you try and be honest with her.
Life is difficult. It is more difficult and challenging nowadays. So many personal and society problems.
Rick is brave for making this call ....the Man deserves to be happy.....
I hope he gets the love and support he needs, I've never had a man in my life that has done any of the things he listed, other than cook occasionally. Mr unknown, you are my hero!!!
I'm all for people having kids and I know kids are amazing. I don't believe in popping out kids to the point where you become a victim of your own circumstance. Be able to be responsible for living your best life 😎🤸🏾🎉
"Be able to be responsible for living your best life." What does that even mean? Does everybody have the same definition of "your best life"?
@@MichaelJones-rn2pq Nope we all have different ideas of what "our best life." I just want the minimum I need but many people I know "want a life" or "what more." I do not even know what that means to them but to me many of them seem greedy and almost like they can not have enough.
@@donaldlyons17 I think you make very good points. I struggle with the "having things to make me happy". For example, I love fishing, but don't make/get time to go do it as much as I would like. So I substitute buying fishing tackle for actually going fishing, but it's not the same. I need to work on freeing up time, not getting more stuff.
@@MichaelJones-rn2pq I do not know you but you may be right. I have a low income situation so having 39K cash is plenty but I am still very much working poor. I am lucky enough to be able to live on 15K while making 20K after tax so if I can get a real job (24K after tax) it would be like me hitting a mini scratcher ticket of 10K (before tax). I do not want more money I want a real job.
Right! I knew my limit was 1 kid… I can’t even imagine having two let alone five or six. 🥴
I hope one day I get close to have the level of love and reflection Rick has.
Another great one Dr. Delony
Rick , I hear you. Your call helped me so much, the world doesn’t need you, it wants you my friend, go rest up. 🙏🇬🇧
This is man a king, god is working through him. God bless your souls Rick
I just watched this, and I'm reading all the comments and most of them have the same level of desperation as I have. Also because sometimes I already want to 'check out', but the love for my one and only child keeps my head above water. It's a struggle, everyday at work adds up to the stress, the pressure of what I do and what's expected sometimes is too much. Thankfully I always try to fight the urge of quitting because I don't want to put my daughter and my other family members under so much grief, for now...
Oh Rick, from one parent with a child with special needs, to another. Its HARD to go an IEP meeting, it drains you!! I always think I should do more for my child. Take care of yourself. Read The High 5 Habit. You're amazing, my mantra is "good enough"
Rick is an amazing dude. Holy cow
I just have to say, this call was a whole different level. I SO appreciated this man’s vulnerability and just saying it like it is! Don’t know him but so proud of him in just keeping it so raw and REAL! 🙏🏼
Great call , very raw and honest. So many of us feel this way and just feel hopeless at times . So glad he reached out and hope he gets help
Absolutely legendary phone call. And hate me for saying this, but this call was above John's pay grade. The caller just came from a deeper place than John was either willing or able to go.