He's great but I'm just NOT ATTRACTED to him!
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- čas přidán 8. 02. 2023
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Hi Jack, great video. I know from my own experience that one cannot force the spark. I tried to make it work with a guy who seemed to be perfect on paper, but there was just zero spark. I tried to force it and pretty much ended up gaslighting myself into believing it was my fault for being too picky. The truth is, it wasn't my fault, but I should have listened to my gut! People are often afraid of the spark, believing that it won't last and character is more important. This is not true at all!! Attraction, and I mean sexual attraction, is an absolute must if you don't want to be physically turned off and end up in a dead bedroom. That isn't fair to the person in question either.
Yes, it impacts both ways right? To gut listening!
@@thejackbutler Absolutely! To gut listening indeed! Thank you for your great work.
We might have to say no to something so we can say yes to something later
That's right
Jack, good to see you back! I don't like the dating advice out there that suggests chemistry is unnecessary and based in trauma. Clients who downplayed attraction early on usually ended up regretting the commitment down the line.
I agree that you want some minimum amount of sexual interest if you aren't asexual. It reminds me of the idea of, "If you have to ask..." If you're even wrestling with this problem then it's not a good sign. We shouldn't deny aspects of ourselves just to make something fit.
All well said 🙏
I’m so with you on this. So well expressed.
Again my point is proven . People don’t think down the line and the type of person they are with is not going to look the way they did back in 2014 to now . I look diff but I still feel pretty. 😁
@@MS-ns4ki yes people dont think down the line. That is how a dead bedroom is born when you could have just shut it down sooner instead of carrying on with a person you feel no attraction for.
This information is really helpful to me. Thank you!
Happy for that!
🔆 Food for thought, as all your videos are, Jack! Many thanks, 💟🍀🌷☘️🌻💖💚💛🌿🦋
this was super insightful and helpful, thanks a lot!:)
You're welcome!
My mom wasn't attracted to my step dad (now her husband) at first but when he started providing what she needs (safety) she gave in and they eventually got married. It's been 11 years now.
Edit: It's a marriage of convenience though. They both need each other to survive financially.
I hear you - maybe survive and thrive have different outcomes
@@thejackbutler For sure. But she has been in survive mode her whole life. And she seems to be making no moves to change it.
Excellent video in breaking down attraction and a companion vs. a friend. This is a topic that a lot of people don't discuss for fear of appearing superficial. I've found that a lot of times women are told that we are being superficial if there is a nice guy that is pursuing us but we don't feel the connection due to a lack of attraction. I've been in this situation a couple of times and what I've learned is that trusting yourself, as you mentioned is key! It can be tough to really be honest with yourself in dating, especially when it seems that options are limited. That fear has to be faced head on. I've seen some people lead another person on as a companion when they know that the other person sees it as more of a relationship and that is wrong. It's always best to be upfront. Thanks for your insight and God Bless!
I hear you that it can be hard if options seem limited. Guess in the situation you mention I would encourage the other person to check in and clarify what it is, so it’s harder to feel ‘led on’. Thanks for your feedback 🙏
Exactly. I dated a guy who I was attracted to but I was not his type at all (he would compliment girls with blonde hair and blue eyes) but he wouldn't agree to breaking up. He tried to lead me on but I knew I wasn't his type. I eventually ghosted him and guess what? He got married a year later to a blonde hair and blue eyed girl.
Oh wow, I’m so sorry to hear that. He definitely should have been upfront with you from the beginning. But I’m glad you had the courage to break it off b/c you deserve the best God has for you!
@@BlairDevonte It’s ok because they divorced quickly after and she told me he is crazy. 😝
I don't think you understand the words 'companion' and 'relationship'. If you're IN a relationship then you ARE someone's COMPANION. I think the vomit-worthy word you're looking for is 'friend'. 🤢🤮
Beautiful background Jack looks hot 🔥
Yes! I thought he would be fine if we culturally had arranged marriages.
The good things about coronavirus: those damn planes weren't constantly flying in the sky. Other than that, a good video and good points. 😄
Ha! Thanks :)
You CLEARLY don't understand what the real definition of 'companion' is - it's NOT friendship. It's deeper than that. If I said to someone 'this is my COMPANION, Frank' their conclusion would be that I'm gay. Companion = not friend.
The hypothetical person you're describing as bringing groceries and fixing a car is called a SIMP.
Gay like sexually practiced or not necessarily? Because I think if a gay has a colleague and they often meet one another and they play card boards or go for trips together to enjoy life moments, then this is a companion, even if they don't have sex together. What is your viewpoint?