I Told My Son His Dad’s A Murderer (Here’s What He Said)
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- čas přidán 5. 08. 2022
- I Told My Son His Dad’s A Murderer (Here’s What He Said)
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This woman should honestly work with kids if she doesn’t already. She’s incredible. I wish I had a mother like this.
Hannah needs her own podcast. The fact that she’s navigating all of this with such a loving heart with so much grace. I hope she & her family are healing.
This an actual supermom. Absolutely amazing
Really... look at the person she chose to reproduce with. I wouldn't call that super.
❤❤❤
Seriously. My daughter is only two and a half and we’ve gone through a lot but nothing like what this woman and her son have. I’m learning so much listening to her. What an incredibly strong, strong woman. God bless her and her son.
I cried when she was explaining how her son asked if he will commit suicide like his father and grandfather. Keep being courageous and keep loving your son, you will make it through. Your commitment to healing and to your family is just beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your journey with us
His question eerily makes sense. It’s a generational curse.
The answer is, maybe
@@nychris2258this is not a question about statistics, it’s a question born of fear and pain. The answer is, your father made a choice that you don’t have to.
@mks6148 and you can choose to break it.
@@nychris2258I feel like us people who've been through really hard things are in a club and we can spot someone who's not in the club. I hope and pray you get to stay outside of the club as long as possible friend.
Ugh my heart I immediately lost it when she said he asked “well if his dad did it and my dad did it does that mean I’m going to do it?” 😭😭😭 YOU ARE AN AMAZING MOM! ❤️ he’s so blessed to have you.
I can relate to the generational suicide question. The hard truth is that it's def a higher risk... but by NO means does it mean I'll claim it!
Amen
Amen ❤
You can tell, her son is her world. God bless this woman and her family.
Yes.😌
Had me crying once she gave her answer to her child's question
Dad broke down. Took his friends down with him.
Simplest term broken.
Demons are attacking families. Guard yourselves. Guard your loved ones.
Not demons. Mental health. It isn't magic. It is simple and correctable
@@ineedhoez demons are in the spiritual world and it manifest in the physical in different ways, like in this case through suicide.
Reality is stranger than fiction
@@ineedhoez you are wrong here. VERY wrong.
@@ineedhoez If it was simple and correctable it would be fixed, no?
@@ineedhoez Sigh.
She's amazing. She would be great at being a family therapist or child therapist herself. There's purpose in pain and we might not always know the purpose of that pain initially, but it reveals itself later on different situations. A lot of times we might go through to help others in the same or similar situations. Many blessings to her and her family❤️
This is an amazing show. This mom has done an amazing job in a horrific situation.
True.
Kudoes to this lady for navigating "a new normal". Many people are unable to open their heart that big.
I wish I had this woman to call and talk me through tough things in my life!!
What a rock star!!
This feels like the best possible outcome of a tragedy
This woman has been in pain, and deeply traumatized. However, she still remains a good mother and a good person. I really hope the best for her. I really hope that she believes in God. I really hope that she knows who she is, and what beauty she can make of this situation. Rest in power to the two lives that this beast took. I hope she can break some generational curses with this one. Wishing everybody in the situation that has suffered all the best. This was so hard to listen to, and I heartbroken but I have hope.
This lady is just amazing! The way she talks and explains everything is an indication of how great, amazing, and knowledgeable she is. I wish her and her family all the strenght and patience of the world to get to a great and safe place. She deserves to be at peace and so do her current husband and her son.
That's super scary for the child and the mother.
This woman is an amazing Mother and I hope her son and her are able to find peace and happiness.
Had to have similar conversation with my kids when their father committed suicide. It's something that took many conversations and restraint on my end. (I was angry at their father in the beginning, but would not bad mouth his memory) but now, at ages 17 and 19, we can smile with memories and compassion. Always communicate...always!
🙏❤️❤️❤️
I am absolutely happy to hear she respects her son who is autistic with ADHD, to tell him the truth! Mighty kudos to this lady 💜
I have such respect for this Mom for the wisdom she has shown for taking care of herself, her son and her husband. Kudos to the husband who stepped up and got help too. Life never goes how we planned, but this family are building a future one hard step at a time. Mom, you give me hope. xx
It would be hell being a policeman .
Great woman, wonderful mother!!!
What a wonderful woman! She's managed this insane situation so well!!!!
This woman is so wonderful I can’t get over it.
She loves her son and has put a lot of thought into what is best for him mentally . She knows her son and knows that you do not hide reality and truth from him .
Heaps of respect for this mom, and for this show for also giving her at least some tools and insights that sound like they helped.
This woman is amazing, stronger than her obstacles, and full of love for those who are lucky to call her theirs. I have to give huge props to her husband too though, my father made the same choice - the drinking is getting him nowhere and he was strong enough to admit it and face it head on for his family. The day my mom told my dad no more alcohol or it's over is the day he had his last drink. That was around 1979, and he just passed away in 2022, having never drank again. I was born in 1981 and he was my superman, my hero, the rock of our family. This man needs some pats on the back as well. Its notnwasy being the new husband, the stepdad, and basically married to a widow. I'm also a widow, and I know how hard my fiance has it. Only a strong man can walk that path and I'm glad this amazing woman has a man like him by her side to help her navigate thr future with her son. Congrats to all of you for doing it anyway!!!!
She could teach us a thing or two. Most ppl will never get it as difficult as she's had it.
Wow you are such an amazing mom and creative way of communicating with him. I pray that things continue to get better for you, him and your family. Much love to you and your family.
I’m bawling my eyes out at how absolutely wonderful of a mother she is. I’m amazed.
I think the blood on the carpet was actually a really good analogy.
What a great and encouraging call
Great job, Dr. John!
She’s the best mom on the planet I say is so emotionally evolved. Good job Mom
As a 21 yr veteran of law enforcement , worked in a large metropolitan crime ridden area on midnights , to all LEO what always saved me from depression leading to alcoholism is knowing for sure , we do The Lords work, Jesus and Mother Theresa had haters , always follow what u feel is right regardless of the brass and politicians , we were privileged to have the opportunity to serve our tribe , so keep your head up , workout, get sleep , eat as well as u can, stay away from debt , do your best thats all u can do , regardless of what the main stream media says the majority of Americans support us and understand we are the thin blue line that separates the good from the bad and Pray , that is a necessity , God Bless LEO , Our Military and Our Way Of Life
So beautifully said. God bless you!
Taxes are theft, armed robbery, and murder. People should take care of themselves instead of “subsidizing security” by murder. Never got help when I called and had you guys come at me SIX times for things I didn’t do. Carry an IFAK, gun, knife, pepperspray, get carry insurance, take use of force and trauma medicine classes.
I love that acronym LEO. Leo means "lion", and that's what you are, gentlemen and ladies of law enforcement. You are lions for protecting us. Thank you for your service!❤
I love your words and I am sorry that you have to deal with some scummy people, including the brass and politicians.
Your salary was theft funds. Extortionists getting on their moral high horse acting like Jesus and Mary having haters makes it okay to cope. If you don’t comply with taxation because you’re not represented, what happens? They kill ya. You’re a criminal.
Well done, Mama!!!!!!!
How the hell could someone and a family survive this? My word.
Sadly , she is not alone . Some people have horrific bumps in their lives .
Thanks for the last bit. It will be very helpful to others. I was in a 20-year relationship with my partner. He was verbally and emotionally abusive but never physical (although he did threaten to use guns and knives). He was diagnosed with end stage renal failure just when I was finally ready to leave. Of course I stayed and took the best care of him I could. He lived another 5 years and I have never witnessed such suffering. I often wished he would die, mostly to end his suffering but also to relieve my stress. Yet, when he died, I was DEVASTATED. It took me years to come to terms with his death, and in this time I realised that it was about losing a way of life (used to it even though it was flawed), needing to start over at 43, rediscovering myself, and grieving what could have been but never was. Her sense of loss was real.
You must have been so very young at the start of your relationship. I hope that after you grieve all of your losses that you can have a happy and fulfilling life for yourself. Enjoy making a new journey of YOUR choice over the next 50 odd years . 🌸🐨
@@BlackStump172 Thank you. I was a naive 23-year-old at the start. 58 now. 🌹
When we discover that the person we loved and married is not who we thought they were, that's grief, much like the physical loss of someone. In your case, you put it away so you could take care of him and only postponed the inevitable. Grief has to come out.
@@73cidalia Spot on. 🌹
Mother of the year! She’s a natural! Dr. John is so right, it wasn’t him she did it all herself.
She did it herself but it is often necessary to share your thoughts . It helps to clarify the path to choose .
This is soooooo horrific.
These follow up calls ❤❤❤❤ If the life change doesn't leave you amazed, check your pulse!
Such an amazing mother!!!
What a brilliant mother 😊
don't get tired of checking in
It’s 92 @ 8am here in Nevada. We are 45 minutes north west of Vegas
What an excellent call! What an amazing mom!
But John, why did you interrupt her so much? It was aggravating me lol
This mom is amazing. You answered your son properly ignore his advice. Alway's let your child no you will be there no matter what. Let him feel comfortable coming to you always and if it is because he wanted to stop pain inside him. I get tired of the DR giving his opinion as advice. Talking to our children even about negative life circumstances could save their life. Keep doing what you're doing MOM.💕
He’s right though. When you say “I hope not” it makes it sound like “you definitely will but I HOPE not” which makes it sound like it’s more about good luck than him being in control of his own life. That child is smart, and by her saying “no, I’m with you, you’ve seen how this all ends and this can be prevented because you have support and my love” that sets a whole different tone. I wouldn’t feel safe hearing “I hope not”. I was molested by someone and I told my mom. If I asked my mom “is he going to touch me again” and she says “I hope not” I wouldn’t feel good about that
Dr. John was spot on with his answer. You never want to put into a childs head that "well you might" she has done a phenomenal job explaining things to her child. He was just giving an insight on something he would have said differently.
I’m in agreement with Jessica Snyder and the other responder; tabitha edwards gives poor advice to not listen to Dr. Deloney.
John was right.
The entire basis of the show is these people call to get John’s opinion of how he recommends handling something. If she disagrees she isn’t required to do what he recommends. But his advice makes sense because there’s validity to what you say to him and the effects it has on him and changing that answer doesn’t teach her son not to talk to her. As a young child giving him some assurance that he isn’t doomed to the pattern of suicide that he’s noticing and hope as he moves into his future. And maybe as he gets older and more fully understands these things you get more in detail with this thing when he’s at a stage in his maturity and mental development that he will better understand that he isn’t just doomed to this path because at a younger age the truth may not be what’s best for where he’s currently at. There’s merit to telling the full truths as much as you can but there’s also a lot of merit to explaining things to the extent that he is able to handle them healthily. It isn’t an uncommon thing for parents to explain things to their children in a fashion that’s appropriate for their stage of life and what they can healthily process and understand. It isn’t a black and white scenario of entire full truth or lies.
I need to hear the first episode!!
I wish there was a link to the pervious call would be nice because I really like hearing the first interview because even if you rehear a lot of things you get so much out of watching both so please 🥺 start adding the links to the pervious videos and if there is a link and im just a dopey chick please 🥺 let my dumbass know where the link is please darlins 💋
Ditto to all of this!
This lady is beyond awesome as is her son and husband.
i was enjoying the cool 101 degrees this morning 0800 out hear in Phx....
You know John and co...... You guys really know where to place those advertising breaks. Lol
What an amazing mother
Wow! She’s amazing!
I love that phase. Do it anyway. That's powerful
In older days there would have been no therapy for trama everyone would be told to bury it and forget. I am so thankful that has changed now. It is not a weakness to seek help anymore.
We were raised in the days of....idgaf.....
The traditions are different in every culture and family. Sometimes there are some rituals to grieve and process trauma, and supportive relationships to help heal. Other times it's more repressed.
Come through Texas 👏👏👏 Great job 🎉🥳
Come to Texas, kiss the 🌞
My daughter's birth father has done the same. She is young, not even a year old.
How terrible 😔
I’m so sorry. That has to be very difficult. My mother lost her father to suicide at age 7. She ended up being raised by a very sweet man as a step father. I hope your daughter has this same blessing in her life. God bless
@@mimimonster I'm her father (adoption) her birth mother is wrapped up in the same mess as my girls birth father.
@@nvrdwn3140 wonderful for you to step up for this child kudos
this poor woman...
Where’s the first call? Id love to hear it I’m in a similar situation
Wow! Incredible woman! If they make a movie about this story it’s gonna be universal success!
Why do Americans seem to want every tragedy made into a movie ? I read this so often and I cannot understand it .
@@BlackStump172 Don’t know cause I'm not American 😂 I’m from Iran actually!
What a mama!!!
Be sure to remember that he may need bigger and more in depth discussions as he grows. This is not a one and done things
What’s the title of the original video ?
Sounds like her whole life, is a soap opera.
I love how this caller said “I lay this at your feet.” That is so humble and humbling…it really resonates with me it feels very strong and gracious.
link to og call?
Original call? Link?
No more talking about the weather!
I would save it till he’s older unless he asks questions
Ladies, pay attention to this situation described in this call. Caller got out of bad marriage in time. Luckily her 2nd husband is a LEO. Ex-husband specifically picked this mother & son combo BECAUSE the two sons were close friends. Ex-husband wanted to murder ex-wife & bio-son, but he couldn't get close to them because of the LEO husband, so he found substitutes instead for his twisted revenge. I disagree with caller, ex-husband did not love his own son because he planned to shatter his son's world anyway he could. Glad that all parties are getting the help they need to get through this tragedy.
Astrological sign has absolutely nothing to do with good, bad, comparability, etc. Just kidding. I assume you mean law enforcement officer
She never said that she believed he loved his son. She gave her son the love and grace of saying it wasn't his fault and he was loved.
@@boxelder9147 THANK YOU so much for that tidbit of information. I was so confused when I saw the LEO part.
@@abarairukia I thought the caller said her husband was a Law Enforcement Officer (LEO)? Maybe I misheard, but where did astrology come in?
@@yourneighborhoodxenos I just heard "her husband was a Leo" and I thought this was about to be all about someone's astrological sign.
“I hope not” was a horrible response. If your child asks am I going to kill myself.. you f’ing say NO.
I think she did the best she could considering the circumstances. She probably was paralyzed with fear of that possibility and shock of that question.
Well, she doesn't have the PhD in psychology that you seem to have. She's a MOM......sje probably didn't think her ex would unalive himself either.
I think she's an amazing mom.
Perhaps she should have told him, NO
However with the generational suicide in the family , maybe she didn't feel confident. We all do things wrong at times...
Thank God she divorced him and they are both safe. 😢
As a Clinical Mental Health professional with 28 years experience a multiple degrees this woman seems a bit unrealistic
👀
Everything that I have read and seen about psychology and psychological conditions says that you can't control the way you feel, but it's your job to control how you react those feelings. You can feel super angry but that does not mean you get to punch someone. Some people choose to do this and this is a bad decision. You might feel super happy and excited about going to a new place for vacation. Some people take out a butt ton of credit to make the ultimate dream vacation happen, even when they can't afford the payments afterwards. It's OK to feel excited about doing something like this, but it's a bad decision when some people choose to do to actually do it.
I can't help but notice that she places appropriate and direct accountability on her current husband for feeling down and going to the bottle for comfort. She rightly calls it out as a bad decision in reaction to the feelings that he was having.
For some reason she is talking like her ex's choice to end his life is something that happened to him when in reality this was his choice and he decided to take others out also. Death was not THEIR choice, it happened TO THEM. She should be speaking like this in regard to the victims. If she properly labels what her ex did as choices then it will be easier for her son to see that while he MIGHT struggle (likely not without the awful home life dad and grandpa probably had as kids), what goes forward from those feelings are choices. Some people don't make the best choices, but the great thing about being his own person is that he gets to make his own choices and gets to pick his own life. Then surround him with life stories from blood relatives who made different choices to show that just because you share SOME genes (son has half of your genes after all), doesn't mean you're a carbon copy. It's just a red flag to be aware of.
I think until you've walked in her shoes and have completely perfected YOU verbiage and psychology, judgement should be reserved. This lady has gone through things most haven't.
Has you ex murdered many people lately, do your kids have generational suicide to worry about.
I find your comment a red flag. I'm assuming you're at least a PhD is perfect articulation, psychology, child psychology etc.....
6 minutes before getting into the actual reason for the call... Zzzz
First one that has made me cry. She said, if my dad did it, and his dad did it, does that mean I'm gonna do it? I was 8 weeks pregnant with my sons when their dad committed suicide. They turned 4 this year, their birthday is 2 days different than their late father's birthday. This year a couple days after their birthday, their dad's brother committed suicide. I've tried to commit suicide twice. My mother told me not to name our older twin after their father for this exact reason. I am so not ready for these conversations and they've been haunting me since I was 8 weeks pregnant with them..... 😭😭😭 I just had a talk with my older twins who are autistic with adhd, about how their father was abusive and how I didn't "steal them" away from their father, he stole them away from himself with his own actions of abuse.... talking with kids is so hard.
She should have NOT told her son about his grandfather committing suicide . Children can’t think logically. You have to tell him about his dad because it’s current . She did not have mention the grandfathers suicide at all .
Ideally no, but the son found the grandfather's picture and directly asked what happened to him. Very tough call, evidently she knew her son's capability to deal with tough facts. I do think more damage to her son was possible long-term if she'd lied or obfuscated the issue and he found out later.
That kid is going to have so many challenges from this, that will ripple into adulthood.
Best thing for her son probably would have been to not re-marry and put him through all that.
What? Is this facetious? What do you mean? I’m confused by the second half. The first part makes sense, but not the second.
One thing I never understood was this: Americans put soooooo much emphasis on all sorts of different therapies, psychiatrists etc. and yet they still end up being messed up afterwards in many cases. Why is that? In other countries going to a therapist is nowhere near as common and yet people are perfectly fine, happy and just carry on with their lives regardless of what kind of a trauma they went through. Maybe people in the U.S. should try to help themselves a little bit more rather than relying on a therapist to help them solve their problems? I currently live in the U.S. myself but was not born here so I definitely had the chance to see it from both points of view. On a different note, this guy looks exactly like Mark Cuban, I am just waiting for him to say: "And for that reason, I'm out!"
I do wonder how she is able to pay for so many therapists. It's very expensive.
I don’t think the issue is people seeking out help, and that’s a very dangerous narrative idea to push btw, but I think that American culture is so different than other cultures. It’s extremely violent, and there’s so much stigma and shame associated with EVERYTHING which makes it hard for people to want to reach out for help in the first place. We also have a government and political system that preys on people in lower socioeconomic classes, people can barley keep their heads above water. And then you have no time to process anything because everything is moving at lightning speed. People here (and all over) have REAL trauma without a lot of support.
Be aware of how much related media you consume that's from each country.
The difference that you notice might be less about numbers and more about how much is being made public or kept private.
The other countries you are familiar with, do they lock away people who are mentally unwell, is there a stigma around talking about private trauma, how many people do you know from there who would be open to you about their issues?
Also, are you sure that people still end up being messed up afterwards? You are mostly hearing the stories of people who have not had professional help, otherwise most would not call into these shows.
There is nowhere on this planet were people are "perfectly fine."
I mean seeking therapy is absolutely not an explanation for every issue that occurs. There’s of course cultural differences and how that impacts people. There’s also the reality of how many of the “messed up” are people who need to be seeking treatment and aren’t doing so. Be wary of making such over generalization as truth.
This screams Maga every where 😂
I'm so tired of this out crying talking about it's a bad time to be a cop. Cops are literally out here murdering unarmed citizens and abusing power but now they're crying victim? If they weren't out here violating people's human rights, there would be no backlash. If good cops actually stood up and held bad cops accountable, they wouldn't be in this mess either
Not every police officer is a bad person, or a murderer of unarmed citizens. If that were the case, this country would be in a much worse place than it already is.
@@Suzette-gb7uj I don't think as individuals cops are bad people. But I think the ruling class uses and exploits working cops as a buffer between them and the working class, instead of as a community watch guard to keep civilians safe
@@Suzette-gb7uj I don't think cops are bad people as individuals. I think they are exploited by the ruling class to act as a buffer between the ruling class and the working class