Violence Against Women & Why It’s Up to Men to Stop It | The Daily Social Distancing Show
Vložit
- čas přidán 23. 03. 2021
- Sarah Everard’s death and the Atlanta shootings are two recent extreme manifestations of violence against women. Here’s a look into the many types of violence women endure, the public’s response to these crimes and the lengths women go to in order to defend themselves. #DailyShow #TrevorNoah #ViolenceAgainstWomen
To help provide housing, legal services and leadership development for formerly incarcerated women, please donate at www.dailyshow.com/ANewWayOfLife
Subscribe to The Daily Show:
/ @thedailyshow
Follow The Daily Show:
Twitter: / thedailyshow
Facebook: / thedailyshow
Instagram: / thedailyshow
Watch full episodes of The Daily Show: www.paramountplus.com/?ftag=PP...
Follow Comedy Central:
Twitter: / comedycentral
Facebook: / comedycentral
Instagram: / comedycentral
About The Daily Show:
Trevor Noah and The Daily Show correspondents tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and pop culture.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. - Komedie
Women get called paranoid for being concerned about our safety, and then get called irresponsible and asked why we weren't more careful when we get attacked.
Underrated comment.
Soo true
Seriously 😒
czcams.com/video/PscD6h1iNiI/video.html
Woooww sooooo true 👏👏👏👏👏
I was walking down the streets the other night and a group of college guys walk past me, one whistled at me and the other one nudged him pretty harsh and said "we dont whistle at girls" while saying sorry to me.
you, whoever you are, thank you.
czcams.com/video/Q1jPKtERcF0/video.html
Wow. THAT is encouraging.
Hope for the future. 🙂
@Siberian Husky Whistle at a dog
@@marialindell9874 Or birds
Wearing your headphones to avoid catcalling, but not actually listening to anything because you have to hear if someone is following you...
It's basic psychology, how a child would hide underneath a blanket to protect against monsters. It makes you feel safer and comforted. Relaxed. Normal, like anyone else, and not having to fear for your life.
@Golden Moonlight Story of my life
Yesss
Men have that too
I thought I was the only one
I once had a conversation online with a guy who refused to believe that women were always on alert when walking outside because "lol that would be so exhausting, no one could live like that." Yes, yes it is exhausting.
And no one should have to live like that.
If you can find him again, send him this video
I don't even go to bars anymore at 35. I'd rather stay home and garden 😂. And men wonder why women go to bars in groups... 🙄
Very exhausting. And from childhood we're put on alert.
So many guys think we overreact because they don't know "those types of guys" ... but in reality, they probably do
When a man gets insulted by your basic safety protections, he's probably one of the reasons you need them.
"If you're a man, don't say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn't want a man saying to you in prison." - Peter White
How true, great line.. (-:
Wow that's quite the line, and apt advice.
How many times do these lines need to be repeated until the world changes for the better?
EXACTLY!
I would love someone call me pretty
Staying home with your doors locked doesn't even guarantee your safety, the top percentage of assaults happen in the home.
that's the real morbidity of it all.
That I agree 👍 specifically if there are orthodox beliefs
I have a male neighbor that's tried to invite himself into my home a lot, follows my partner and i (both feminine non-binary people) around the neighborhood, has asked my partner if their red hair is natural (I'm sure you know how I mean when I write that). And because he hasn't gotten in, hasn't physically done anything beyond inducing a constant state of fear and anxiety, no one will do anything, and we can't leave because pandemic. So that's all too real to me right now
Sorry for the vent ~_~
@@CleverClovers hope you stay safe
"You can't solve violence against women without addressing the men committing it". YES, very well said. I
Kind of obvious don't you think?
oh no some man asked for my number after saying something among the lines of "i like your dress and I think we should go out some time."
By calling out their fellow men’s behavior. No more, the man’s home is his castle attitude.
@@mitri5389 That’s Called Harrasment
@@thomass2325 and your called mentally deficient
Internet comments bashing feminism only make things worse.
Feminism doesn’t mean female supremacy, all we want is equal treatment and equal chances!
I ask men why they hate feminism and what most of them tell me is the experiences they have had on the internet. The internet, a place where thousands of men can and will create a fake misandrist profile to drag the image of feminism. Men, you cant assume a whole movement is bad based on some experiences youve had on the internet with strangers
Feminism is not gender equality. And men and women already have equal treatment
Supremacy is a male ideology. So many men I talk with about feminism seem to observe it like an invading force and are blind to their war mentality being the problem.
@@Solipsisticdaydreams they fear they would have to share their power.To those who are accustomed to dominance, equality feels like oppression
@@tanviohol6807 I've got no problem sharing my power with women. But power comes with responsibility and a lot of women don't want male responsibility.
And seeing, how many Native American women "go missing" every year, without even being addressed, is absolutely heart breaking.
@Russell Peterson Yes of course. Love and prayers is all I wanted. smh
And there's that passive voice we always hear: they just magically "go missing." There is no subject in that sentence ; no author of that act; no one responsible. It's disgusting and enraging.
They get beamed up to the U.S.S. Enterprise. Fact.
Ooh someone saw Wind River too!
@@irenes7297 How would you like the sentence to be rephrased? It's a genuine question like I actually wanna know what would be a better way.
"Let’s raise our sons well rather than suppressing our daughters," said Prime Minister (Bhutan) Dasho Tshering Tobgay.
czcams.com/video/fnVf7lVZ8sg/video.html
I like this.
Here here. 👏👏👏👏
TobGAY lol
Exactly. My sons are gentlemen but we are talking about the ones that are not.
I'l always remember the first time I was "checked out" by a man. I was 12 years old, I was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, and was at the mall with my mom. A store employee walked by me, I saw him look at me up and down, smile and say "hey there" and then he saw me reach for my mom's hand two feet away.
I WAS 12 YEARS OLD.
That memory of feeling objectified is burned into my memory.
I had almost the same thing happen to my eleven year old son in a. Convenient store the 30 year old operating the cash register started hitting on my eleven year old he s big for his age but he was clueless as to the flirting and I dont know what she would have said if he would have said my place or yours I realized we need to protect our children male and female and the world is changing for worst not better
I understand that this is a sensitive issue, and I want to validate that, but a lot of these movements or calls for change end up not really taking off or end up very polarized, and I think if we really want change we should try and avoid all or nothing thinking. The situation you described can easily be misinterpreted, not to mention it's been scientifically proven that the way we tend to remember things is rarely accurate, especially the longer it's been. Also while it would be quiet inappropriate for an older man to make any kind of advances on a young girl, age aside, just checking someone out does not mean you are objectifying them. I mean there is a whole spectrum of what qualifies as appropriate Vs. not when it comes to checking someone out, but if you just shoot someone a covert glance because you think they are pretty that's hardly objectifying.
I don't know what really happened when you were 12 I just wanted to provide a balanced perspective because like I said, I feel like a lot of these calls for change end up not doing so well because we are are either too quick to point fingers, or we think in a polarized fashion.
@@Steve-xo5pq Oh thanks so much for explaining what my personal experience was at 12 years old being checked out by a man and my mom saying out loud to me "well...how did that feel?" and we had a conversation about it in the car after.
You don't get to tell someone what they went thru didn't happen, was misremembered, or invalidate the sexism and objectification I've experienced my entire life.
@@Steve-xo5pq Steve, your perspective is not balanced at all, you are part of the problem
Cap
Trever I am an Indian .....the moment I had a baby girl ......I was suddenly thinking I have to protect her in every street, every bus stop, every corner, every where and nearly half of my joy changed into tension......the violence worldwide on women is horrific and cruel.....but even if starting today if we all ....start teaching our baby boys the basic ethics of respecting a female .....I beleive situations can get better for future generations.🙏
One of my many reasons for my last abortion. Among other things i was terrified of giving birth to a girl and then maybe having to deal with whatever horrible stuff i fail to protect her from :(
@@tochterchenfrost4784 my heart feels your emotions 🙏......I pray you are safe and secure always 🙏
@@anshj2833 thank you :)
I wish the same for you and your girl(s)
You got pregnant by a man, was he bad??
@@FREE_WILL_DEFENDER he's an angel
I watched a video of women telling how they go out of their way to feel safe, in that video one of them said that "we know that it's not all men, it's that we don't know which men" and it just boils down to that.
yup so true! Every man is seen as potentially evil until we get to know them!
Yup it’s like walking through a minefield
@@formentorvz5 Your comment is the problem
@@formentorvz5 the truth? You just publicizing your ignorance, maybe you're one of those men who like to abuse women just want to defend your hate by making sound you can be the victim.
@@formentorvz5 I personally think one should always be careful around strangers? No need to be passive aggressive about it... But I also think that women are more worried about such things, because they are more often than not as strong as their predator. Idk, do with that what u want
I was 11yrs old playing with my friend, when we were catcalled & oggeled so relentlessly by a group of middle aged men we went back inside to hide. My mom asked why weren't playing outside, as it was a beautiful day. We told her we were scared to because of the men. My mom marched over & told them to stop & how old we were. The men were shocked (why idk, since we were PLAYING like children). They did apologize, but immediately followed it with, "You're gonna have lots of problems when she turns 16" & laughed. My Mom was disgusted, but didn't press the issue as she was alone. She told me what happened, & if they bothered us again to tell her. But we didnt go back outdide- we didn't feel safe. I will never forget that experience. After that, I never felt free to really play or just be out, without worry again.
After speaking with my friends & other women, it seems this kind of experience is something most women have growing up. It's sad, disheartening and enraging. Sometimes it feels like things will never change.
That's so twisted
I have to say, that story reframes middle school for me. I noticed girls stopped playing at recess when I was in 6th grade. I know some of it is maturity, not wanting to get sweaty, and some of it is socializing becomes the new form of entertainment, but I didn't even think about nervousness over physical development making women shy about running and jumping around.
Similar story for me
@@benjamingardner3314 It's nothing to do with development. 11 years old girls are not developed and at no age should girls have to hide from men.
It's like a right of passage.
An interesting but sad moment in a mother’s life is when you’ve been used to walking with your little boy to protect him and when he grows taller than her it switches and he walks his mother home to protect her. He can go out at night and be safe. She can’t.
Men get KILLED in the streets, safe? Lol ok. The world not safe for anyone
@free will defender 🙄⌚😴🛌
@@FREE_WILL_DEFENDER yes they do and I understand that is horrific. But that is not for the same reasons as women need safety on streets. Let me remind you of all the infamous male serial killers and how all of their usual victims were women ranging from 8-80 years old. That indicates the power imbalance in the genders. And that is the topic of this vdo. But yes it is sad that many men get killed on the streets because of gang violence,police brutality and many more painful reasons. And I'm sorry about that but this video is not talking about that the subject is completely different.
More men get murdered than women. So you're wrong, boys are in more danger when they grow up.
Japan has a real problem with stalkers, they have opened programs to re-educate these men into understanding why they're the problem and not their ex.
Japan recently allowed women to sit in their Olympic cabinet meetings. SIT! they are still restricted to not voice their opinion but observe.
@@priyachoudhary9896what why ?
I'm so tired of the "Oh, this will ruin his life" when it comes up on college boys. HE decided doing what he wanted was worth more than where his life down the road.
amen!!!!!
YES
For real. As if he didn't just choose to ruin somebody else's life
And maybe he figured that he could get away with it, so it wouldn't ruin his life anyway. See: Brock Turner.
...and nobody asks how his actions are ruining HER life.
As a young girl who was just told to buy her first key chain tazer and pepper spray, I really appreciate Trevor using his platform among others to start this much needed convo.
This convo is very old. Villainizing men doesn't work. Perhaps if we stopped socially ostracizing men, they wouldn't turn to crime!
@@Derrickthepeng Oh, dear.
And then everyone got up and started clapping
@@sensen1080 yeah. Trolls are awful, pitiful creatures.
@@Derrickthepeng How about if we socially ostracised men for being violent and disrespectful against women? That would send a huge message that such behaviour is not acceptable.
I remember being catcalled by an officer in uniform at 16. When I told him my age, he told me I shouldn't dress like that it gives off the wrong impression. I was wearing shorts and a t shirt. 😐
I'm so sorry to hear that.
How short was your shorts?
@@kissme1518it doesn’t make a sense
I remember in eighth grade, my teacher asked us if we ever felt unsafe walking alone at night. Every single girl in my class raised her hand, and the boys just looked confused. I thought that everyone felt that way, but many of the boys were asking what we were afraid of happening. It was just so jarring how different our experiences were. I always knew that women were treated worse, but that was the first time it felt real, the first time I realized that I had already been affected by sexism more than just being told that I only two options for favorite color. And the boys didn't even know that we were dealing with this every single day.
How is that at all sexism the girls have a big dose of paranoia and the boys are overconfident probably why there significantly more likely to be assaulted or killed.
The point about using active voice instead of passive voice is REALLY important. It completely changes the tone of the narrative.
“The woman was attacked by a man, in his fifties, while on her way home from work.”
“The man, in his fifties, attacked the woman who was on her way home from work.”
This is just a step towards shifting responsibility to the perpetrator and not the victim.
Completely
So important
absolutely ❤️
I feel like too many people failed Language Arts for this to be understood 😅
They only use the active voice if the attacker is a foreigner or person of colour (at least in my country). It's so interesting that a certain group of people start to get soo very concerned about women's safety when the conversation is about immigration!
I've pretended that I knew a woman on the bus once to stop this man from harassing her. The sad thing is that she didn't even miss a beat she knew exactly what I was doing.
but you got out, and she did, too. Well done, both of you.
"Why was she out being a human? You know if she hadn't been born a female no one would have been tempted to assault her" 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
How dare she be publicly female!
If she was a boy, she would still have been assaulted. Smh, get some rest
@@tttt-lh4pd yo, we talked about the other gender here? Why do you derail the topic?
@@tttt-lh4pd people like you are part of the problem. A woman suffered so you could be born so learn to respect.
@@AJ-rj3rj did they ask to be born
The really depressing thing is that women's rights groups have been pointing this out for over 50 years with efforts like "Take Back the Night", and it's still not being addressed.
Yes, it is VERY depressing. Not only do women curtail their daily lives to avoid violence from men, but their ENTIRE lives are constricted- can't travel alone safely...can't go on adventures the way men do...can't just be themselves. I am 65 now and still angry about the fact that men wield this much power over my life. Is it a wonder I never married, never wanted to bring children into this world...?
Listen, if men don't start keeping their words and hands to themselves whenever they see a woman they don't know, we're gonna have to start throwing hands, grabbing our guns, and taking names. We're not playing anymore. They will pay. I assure you that.
Address it how? What else can be done? A curfew for women?
@@treacherousjslither6920 punishing the victims, very traditional approach.
One could also curfew the men, then women can go out safely.
@@e.458 A curfew on men. Alright that's something. A possible solution. Better that than simply complaining and doing nothing.
I don't know any woman who has not been threatened, assaulted, or both. Not one. Glad to hear men holding each other accountable.
This!!!!!!!!!!
Chances are, a female friend or family member just hasn't told you her entire story. It is a sensitive subject, after all.
So true and so sad.
Same. The 1 in 3 statistic just seems... Unrealisticly low.
Husbands, boyfriends, partners, and lovers in every home can start by not dismissing their female partner's concerns for safety and the precautions they take. Such things as locking doors and windows or not wanting to rent the ground floor of buildings or telling you they don't feel safe around your buddy or co-worker. One attack and that woman is forever changed. She will never be the same again. So, please don't be dismissive or make fun of your female partner(s)/friends/siblings, etc. when they are trying to protect themselves.
Yes never the ground floor
I don't get the ground floor thing? I'm a woman too I'm sorry I'm just not aware
@@bhadrasings It's so that it's harder for someone to climb in through a window
👍 This comment should be pinned.
Why you don’t defend yourselves
As a single dad raising a daughter in San Francisco, I saw how she was harassed and stalked by guys of all ages. I put her in an aikido class and after six weeks she proudly showed me how she could throw me to the ground. I worried much less afterwards.
Hate to break it to you, but aikido doesn't work on people who don't want to be thrown
Yes, as a woman taking bjj, I would highly recommend that over all other martial arts. It is much better at dealing with situations where you are grabbed and/or pinned on the ground
Why would that make you worry less. Being able to fight off a guy doesn't make the attack not happen or not traumatizing.
@@tybooskie Because at least she isn't lying in a ditch somewhere or at home applying first aid on her wounds. Yes, trauma would still be there if a man made any moves, but at least you defended yourself and it didn't escalate further...
Let me just put in two cents of experience. Training, and actual active situations are extremely different, and I've had it go both ways, personally. Sometimes I've thrown a guy or broken his nose before it can get any further, but other times I've been left to deal with the aftermath of mental/physical trauma of a full experience because I wasn't really prepared to deal with the situation in the real world. So martial arts is a great first step. But I highly recommend taking specifically self-defense classes. Take them with her. Learn it yourself so you can help keep her memory fresh in the years to come. Muscle memory, and an ingrained catalog of methods to deal with as many situations as possible are currently her best bet.
Also a small durable baton for her keychain. Something hard and hard to break to be rammed into attacker's soft spots.
My cousin was murdered a year ago because she said "no" to a man who didn't accept that. She was at a bar where she was a regular and felt safe. The same thing she had done so many times before.
Why should a woman lose her life because a man was refused? It seems that some men believe that women should “give it up”regardless! Sad!
I'm so sorry.
So sorry to hear that. My condolences.
I am so sorry, may her soul Rest In Peace
That's terrible. So very sorry for your loss.
Some years back I met a woman who told me she never smiles or laughs when she is talking to a man, because some men interpret that to mean she is flirting with them or is an invitation to make moves on her. That was the first time it occurred to me the length to which women find themselves having to change themselves in order to feel safe around men. It really was an eye-opening (and sad) revelation :(
czcams.com/video/Q1jPKtERcF0/video.html
I bet she smiles at men she finds atractive
Zuma Zuma Working retail was annoying because it was part of our job to smile and men thought it was more than it really was.
@Zuma Zuma you know, i also act differently towards women i don't find attractive, i also try not to smile and be too nice so they don't get the wrong idea.
Sometimes their smile can be demonic
As a single felmale, my 75 lb dog definitely helps me feel safe. I wish all those landlords who don't accept pets could understand that.
I had never thought of the safety afforded -- specifically to single women -- by a big dog. Thank you for mentioning that.
@@schoolxing Thanks for the comment. Feel free to spread the word if you know any landlords :) Cheers ~
My dog makes me safer than any man ever could 💙 her instinct is to love and protect, and I know she won't leave me to fend for myself, although I've always been afraid she might get hurt protecting me.
When my kids Dad left, my little girls (6 & 3) felt very scared in the house, especially at night. I happened to get 2 little baby ducks as pets, unaware that they’d turn out to be our saving grace. They’d ‘Quack’ so much at even the hint of an intruder. The best guard dogs I’ve ever heard. The girls could go to bed easy because if the ducks are quite there’s no boogeyman. Thank you Yoko and Feather you were the best pets two kids ever had. The kids are all grown now and our feathery friends look down on us from above never forgotten.
I love your story. I had a very protective alert cat. He warned me of danger many times. Best male I ever knew.
@@Aztec339It would be a very lonely world without or animal friends indeed. What was you best chums name?
I never noticed how telling your friends “text me when your home” is not normal, yet it feels so important for us to do it
as a guy, a lot of my friends say "text me when you're home" too, and i always interpreted it as a way of showing they care about my wellbeing? like a caring way to say goodbye.
My mother texts me the same thing when she knows that she won’t be home when I get home from school
@@GummyJeff that's certainly possible but for women it isn't a friendly/nice goodbye. It's so your friend can call the police and report you missing and where you were if we don't reply within a period of time. It's for protection, just like how we ask a female friend to call during a date and fake an emergency if needed so we can get out of a dangerous situation without risking our safety and angering a man who is potentially violent.
~ too bad it’s just a sentiment. Texting someone when they are home will not stop violence or harassment while en route...
Yep, another thing is taking a picture of a taxi’s driver and license plate and texting them to my dad, brother, husband etc. whenever I get into one.
I be so busy being worried about being black in America, I often forget that men don't worry about most of the things I worry about moving through the world as a woman.
oof, moving through the world as a white-appearing woman is rough enough, navigating this maze with the extra difficulty setting of being black would probably have me crying all the fricken time...
I'm so sorry sister, I am so sorry that we live in a country where you have to be afraid not only for the gender you were born as but because of the color of your skin as well. I am so so sorry. Stay strong and stay safe sister, I will add you to my prayers. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The way Dave Chappelle put it spoke to me. " imagine how nervous you are carrying a large amount of money in a bag. Every body wants it and will take it given the opportunity. Women feel like that all the time." Not the exact quote I'm sure.
@@mewho8057 And women dont worry about most of the things i worry about moving through the world as a man. Pros and cons on both sides.
@@DonRobertson82 Any time a woman is talking about her experiences, someone like you pops up. It's like clockwork
Don't teach your kid with this line
"because you are boy, you must this that"
"because you are girl, you cant this that"
instead teach them how to be a kind, respectable person.
Fundamental!! 👏❤
I think it's far more subtle than that. It's getting into trouble at school for fighting back when somebody attacks you. Most of that is learned via "show, don't tell" way:
- by being told off by men for being assertive, but also for _not_ being assertive - because apparently having Y chromosomes entails the right to correct any women, no matter her age or what she's actually doing
- by being told to pretend that nothing happened when you get called names, or shoved, or sexually harassed at school, while the brother is being told: shove back when somebody shoves you).
- by reading that boys doing less well in school (being loud and disruptive and a rebel is manly, working diligently and cooperating and paying attention is girl stuff ) means that they are 'just not allowed to be boys'.
- by not being allowed to rough-house, meaning: no practice fights for girls
- by the different reactions to being loud, to insisting on your point, ... in short: to being un-feminine
Sorry bud but no you should stick with the formula that has ran civilizations since the first humans and quit trying to blur the lines between man and woman. Don't know what happened to you but it must've been bad
@@Julia-lk8jn nice essay let's hope you get an A+
.
Thank you. I'm a 16 yo girl who has had a fair share or violence because of my gender, its not cool to talk about violence against women for Gen z, so nobody cares when women are harassed, humiliated, and murdered everyday. "oh it wasn't because they were asian, it was because they were women" like that makes it ok. I was close to tears hearing this because it made me feel like someone heard, someone cared, especially a man. thank you for the hope
It's taken decades, but the conversation is finally focusing on the culprit, not the victim. The fact that the passive is used to describe violence against women was noticed in the 60s and 70s. For all that social media gets dissed, this change wouldn't have happened without it.
I agree
Victim blaming has reduced so much
Not true, and you're doing a MASSIVE disservice to the tens thousands of women (probably more) who have written about the myriad challenges women face, and worked for change -- and to every feminist of the past 60 years.
And I'm glad this is coming to light. Now in a few more decades maybe men who get sexually assaulted wont be afraid to speak on it either
@@officialxanitymusic7624 That also depends on other men. Women have been working on reducing men's violence towards them for decades. We have had to step up for each other. We went through centuries of not giving each other the support we should have. The most important aspect of the last Me Too movement was that other women didn't support the perpetrators and instead backed the women. To help male victims of violence men need to learn how to just be there for each other: to say to their friend who's told them their story, "I hear and believe you and will help you in whatever way you need." Most women already do this (there are those who don't, but women are human beings. Feminism is about gender equality, so we are equally wonderful and horrible as men).
You are right! I love your comment!
I'm 19, I realized how bad the situation is first hand from a friend not too long ago. I was at a bar(legal drinking age is 18 in my country) already 4 drinks in, i see a friend of mine across the room sitting by herself. She was angled in a way she couldn't see me, so i thought that was the perfect opportunity to surprise her. I get behind her without her noticing me and threw my arms around her expecting her to turn back, see it was me and hug me. Instead, it only took me 3 seconds to see how genuinely scared she was, like she was too scared to scream or even turn around. I quickly jumped back and made my presence known properly and apologized. She even tried apologizing for acting the way she did but i totally understood why she did.
I have more female friends than male friends so i always get paranoid whenever they go places by themselves. I never even realized that women feel unsafe just in general. This.is.a.problem
Wow well one major advice if your at any bar or club don’t accept a drink from any man it would give them a chance to drug it that causes you to pass out.
And you can take a wild guess to what happens to you during your phase out.
This is how it often happens so be careful always have a companion women will often go missing from that starting point.
@@dianeatanacio7096 i one time saw someone drug a girls drink and the bartender saw too and switched there cups and told the girl what the guy was trying to do. its a sad reality but no ones drink is safe
I'm really, really glad that you were capable of recognizing the problem. Somebody else might have just drawn the conclusion that your friend is hysterical, has no sense of humor, ... or, the one-size-fits-all: girls just aren't rational.
I can only guess that men get scared in some situations or in some dark street, too. It's not like violence wouldn't happen to men. But for women, it's a safe bet: if you are attacked, it'll be by somebody a lot stronger than you; somebody who play-practiced physical violence a lot more than you did.
Women don't even feel safe in a relationship with a man. My ex left me for dead when I got robbed.
Most abuse happens in the home and in relationships, so unfortunately, that's a common case 😓
hence why I date women despite being technically pansexual
@3-7-77 not defend you, won’t abuse you.
@@nikkigriffin08 speak human.
@@nikkigriffin08 I find spoons and pots better than pans, but everyone has a weird thing...
just this week i was disgustingly sexually harassed in the local supermarket, i told my male friends and the response was literally all the things i did wrong & “not all men”.
and last night, i kid you not, someone started knocking on my door at 1 in the morning. everyone that i would open my door for has my number & wouldn’t do that in the first place. i was home alone and terrified. i locked myself in my bedroom with my baseball bat. just in case.
I feel you sister! A woman was attacked by a black person in my city, I told my colored friends about that and they took NO RESPONSIBILITY over the attack. They share the same skin color ffs, how can they not share the blame?
@@JohnDoe-jt5lb i’m sorry that happened where you live but please don’t blame your friends for things other people have done. Neither did I. The important thing is respectful communication, listening too the victims, acknowledging the systematic problems & thinking about ways that every single one of us can be better & prevent this from happening.
@@JohnDoe-jt5lb uh what who cares if they share the same skin color tf that's not there fault
@@killertigergaming6762 that is my point exactly. Men don't like it either when you blame all of them for the actions of a small portion.
Had a friend that forgot to text me, I got up and drove across town at 4AM to make sure she made it home. I didn't get back home and in bed till 6AM.
I had to explain to my boyfriend when we began living together why i would like him to walk the dogs with me at night. My new area has fewer lights and way more trees and hiding places. I always have a knife with me. As a woman you know you can't scream for for help, you will get a faster response screaming fire.
@John Doe "Insecurity is not owned by women"... nothing like that was said or implied in the post.
Don’t judge a book by it’s cover man, who knows what he would do. It’s not fair to assume what a person would or would not do, similar to how it’s not fair to assume that a woman would want to partake in an uncomfortable interaction like catcalling, or stalking or any form of harassment.
@John Doe what would you have him say?
@John Doe not anyone has to feel endangered, some men endanger women. Men put women's lives at risk.
@John Doe I know anyone can be endangered. But when women are found guilty they are bashed (rightfully so)(haven't u heard of crazy woman stories) and when men are found guilty the focus is on the woman like how she should have known or how she should have dressed better and whatnot. The point is to identify the perpetrators and culprits, instead of blaming and putting the victim on spotlight, adding to the pain they are already feeling. No matter what gender the culprit is, they should be held accountable but that is not happening in the society.
I remember this one time a guy told his son two pick one of my three sisters as his girlfriend.. and once he did pick he kept touching her and saying many inappropriate things the sad part is he’s still young like 7 or 8 years old and his dad is teaching him that and telling him it’s okay
That's a terrible thing to be teaching a young boy.
In my country, they say "men are wolves to men". I say "men are wolves to women". No wolf or even dog threatened my life, but countless men did and will do it again.
I have taught my daughter since 9 that all women are prey. As a young black woman in America she has to always be on guard. It's not fair, it's not right but it is reality.
So when raising little boys don't say 1. Don't cry like a girl. Men don't cry 2. Boys will be boys 3. Why are you playing with girls' things? 4. He's hitting/teasing/name calling her because he just likes her.
Great Comment!!!
Yes, and then we have the gall to blame men for this, when it is we who have been gaslighting _men_ this whole time.
@@Derrickthepeng and who tells little boys this garbage? Grown men. Stop hitting yourself, Derrick! You're the ones victimizing yourselves then.
@@lenawagenfuehr53 No, it's parents together reinforcing gender roles. Why do you hate men so much you'd pin a systemic problem on a specific demographic?
@@Derrickthepeng dude, this isn't the only bad comment you left here. You have an oppression complex against women. Get help!
In sophomore year our school does a business project. We are tasked with creating our own product and startup. The winner was a group of five girls who came up with a multi alarm and recording and defense bracelet for women to wear. There were tons of submissions and a device that disguised as a fancy piece of jewelry is the idea that one first place; it was the product the judges thought would make the biggest sales. That’s insane.
@Robert Monroe I think the point is that the judges *did* see the inherent meaning of the bracelet, since it won. They knew that among all kinds of innovative stuff, this was the #1 idea financially. After all, half the population feels perpetually unsafe and would pay a lot of money to feel just a little less scared. That is a seriously untapped market, ripe for exploitation and hiked up prices. Capitalism, y’all.
Wish I had one 24 yrs ago, that is a great product it would be on back order.
I hope this is actually in production.
To the women:
Can you even imagine being able to make road trips alone without being afraid? I remember the day that I realized that I would never be able to travel alone...
Or camping. Or flying. ....
Sometimes I wish I can turn into a man, just so I can be alone in public and be at ease 😞
Men are more likely to be victims. Men don't just prance around carefree.
@@priscihc123 thats a bad strat as a women you get a automatic minus intimidation debuff by becoming a man you greatly increase your chance of being murdered or assaulted
@@ultimatemaijn This is a video about female safety. Let's not start a competition
“For many women every time they leave the house, it’s a risk”
I kept having to pause after his statements to figure out what was supposed to be newsworthy.
It’s jarring to realize that anyone doesn’t live and think that way.
Well yeah and the ones that don't at least consider the possibility are the ones that end up dead so unfortunately primarily males
I was stalked by a fellow student at my college. Because I smiled and made eye contact. There was a large crowd of people, I wasn't looking at him specifically, I was smiling at a friend and looked at him incidentally. He followed me around campus for days, grabbing and groping at me. The campus security said it was a "cultural misunderstanding." I had to take a different bus to campus to avoid him, but a DIFFERENT man on the bus sat down beside me and whispered filthy things in my ear... there were no free seats so I got up and stood crying in the aisle. I can't ride the bus anymore and dropped out of that school due to PTSD.
Wow that sounds horrible,, i hope that u are doing better now
I am so sorry you deserve all the the happinesslove .
I'm so sorry that happened to you! I've been stalked on campus too and I reported to our campus police too. I was fortunate enough for the police to be able to track that person down and stop him. He said that he didn't know he was making me uncomfortable. I soon realized he also had a thing for Asian girls which is another reason he started following me, as I brought it up with my other Asian friends around. I hope you will feel better soon. I still cant believe nobody stood up to help you when you were already crying... More and more education is needed to make women feel safe. We should not be going out worrying about our safety. I
Sending you my best wishes! Hope you heal, though slow but steady and I hope those disgusting dudes get the consequences they deserve somehow. Nature knows.
I was groped by my uncle when I was 15 years old and I was blamed for that. Fast forward many years from that, I feel more comfortable been overweight and dress bad when I walk outside because nobody even looked at me or catcall me.
been there with family being inappropriate physically, and family members not calling the creep on his behavior...my sympathies and understanding to you
It's not the healthiest response but when I quit dating 18 years ago I gained weight and turned 'frumpy' (other people's description) but I can go on walks by myself at night and read my books without interruption.
Same here, was harrassed by an uncle when I was a teenager, groped by a close friend... I try to fly under the radar by being, well, "unattractive". I just don't want to bother anymore.
This is why I shave my head.
❤
I really think that men just don't get it until they have daughters. It's so easy to have cognitive dissonance to women's issues until you brought one into the world.
A lot of even when males have daughters they still ignore their daughters issues
and even that's a problem. like please wake up and realize a woman isnt only important when she has use or importance to you.
@@kaeandraclarke2080 It's kinda hard to see other's importance when humans are self-centered.
@@kaeandraclarke2080 also why dont they realise it when they marry/date the mother of the daughter? like you had a relationship with a woman but it took having a kid of your own to realise????
you feel responsible to protect your daughter but don't care about your wife???????
@@kaeandraclarke2080 what else are people than? you think we have friends because? no its a trade between two individuals of something important to each other, what ever that may be. I'm not going to care about anything or anyone unless they have something of value and the same goes for them.
As a woman, it is so terrifying to walk alone at night. I remember in college I actually had to explain why I didn’t like to walk home from my campus job to my off campus apartment at midnight to my best friend, who was a guy. He just couldn’t comprehend why I was scared and thought I was being paranoid and overreacting. But I wasn’t.
I was always scared walking home. Especially one night in particular. I was walking home and I was almost off campus, when all of the power went out in town, and I was suddenly alone in the dark. I could see where I was going and where to cross the street. And then I started hearing male voices from the on campus housing. I tried walking home using my flashlight in my phone and clutching my keys, but the farther I went, the more panicked I got until I had a full blown panic attack on the side of the road. I eventually had to call a local taxi to come get me. By the time they got there I was crying and could barely breath. And while I got back home safely, I had never been that terrified in my life. Because I have heard so many stories about women being attacked.
I’m just very grateful to the cab service. I didn’t have enough money to get a ride home, because they still picked me up, drove me home, and made sure I was ok.
@Fabian Kirchgessner How is life more dangerous for men?
Okay, big brain time for men:
Instead of treating women like objects of desire designed to please us, we treat women like human beings who have their own wants and needs.
there's an idea, and the sarcasm is directed at them, cause what are the chances they'd ever consider it? i hope everyone talking about it gets the ball rolling, but considering it takes Trevor Noah, a man, to get people talking, is more proof that there's a long way to go
czcams.com/video/fnVf7lVZ8sg/video.html
Go back to onlyfans.
@@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 Most of the guys I know do mostly care about a womans wellbeing. There are those sleezes of course that don't but still I would argue that while men have a long way to go, they are improving.
@@professorbaxtercarelessdre1075 there kind of has to be an intervention by influential men to put an end to this problem, there's no other way. We need people most men will listen to.
Kind of like with the vaccines - we need trusted leaders to give an example to their communities.
The type of people who need to hear this message are not the type of people who watch this show.
I'm onestly not so shour about that😔
@@paula3569 Well, I wish the sort of folks who... perhaps... endorse politicians with questionable character would care about this episode's message. I'm ashamed of the amount of toxicity that has come out of a slew of men who were seemingly empowered(?) far more over the past few years.
I don't know. Read some of the commits and the men that are still clueless after watching.
Well, there re 300+ dislikes already.
You can bet, some of them are those men who need to hear this message, but they didn't like this message.
@@niladrimallik3172 of course not. Many people only believe in things they experience directly. Otherwise such things don't exist, because if they did, they obviously would have noticed. It's a circular phenomenon.
Just the other day I had to explain to my brother why I get so uncomfortable when a car slows down next to me when I'm walking on the sidewalk. He just doesn't understand the fear when that happens.
Oh my goodness, that's one of the biggest fear I have.
My fourth grade teach flirted with me. I was uncomfortable when it happened as I've grow up it infuriates me. I've talked to my mom about it ,as an adult , and her response was that he was going through a rough divorce at the time. thanks Mom😑
Ugh I'm so sorry to hear that
A 1st grade girl was assaulted when the teacher grabbed her camisole in front of everyone. Took a week to fire that guy
I don't know one female who hasn't been either stalked, groped, harassed on the street or faced far worse. It really is a scary and messed up world out there.
Edit : the fact that my comment is getting so many likes, just goes to show how bad the situation is.
People talk to your boys and girls, educate them on the situation from both sides, our society has got to change!
Watch out for family members too!
@@sheilameyers152 also friends of family!
Here in France, lots of studies say the same thing....that a huge number of women experience this, in one form or another. Only, it's probably (even) less talked about in France than the US. Wherever we are, we need to talk about it more.
@@michaelashworth4172 is it looked upon in a bad way, or is it a taboo ? Or why isn't it really talked about there ?
(Just interested in the culture, so if you don't mind, please do share some light on why it is so in France.)
My second child only calmed down if strapped in a stroller and taken for a walk. One evening, a man on a bicycle rode around me several times while talking to me about my looks. It felt even more dangerous because I had my 2yr old in the stroller. Old enough to observe while depending on me for safety.
ive had to walk strangers home to protect them from guys that were harassing them. the worst thing ive had to deal with was once i approached a girl she had her earbuds in and didnt notice a guy following her so i stopped her and asked her hows she been and pretended i knew her from high school when the guy finally left after watching us for a minute i told her that she was being hunted by him.
🥺 on behalf of all the women, thank you.
That's exactly it. Women and young girls are seen as prey. 🤬
Thanks for that. But I problaby would walk away from You, thinking you were the bad guy. That is how afraid we are sometimes
Why don't you just loudly say that guy over there (pointing) has been following you. I would think you are the creep if you start speaking to me. A warning about a creep is appreciated, but I don't know if it's a trick so better stay away.
I know you mean well and it's great that you are helping.
@@kcastano6733 yeah no reason for someone to believe me its very sad that it happens so often you cant trust anyone
As a woman, I thank you for spreading awareness. I have been cat called and harassed at a young age, and I've never heard a single man telling other man to stop behaving this way, until now. Most of the time I hear more woman speaking about it. I hope someday in the future all woman will be/feel safe. I don't want my future daughters to experience what I experienced.
I really wish yall will stop this lie. Many men have died or gone to jail trying to intervene or call out a man against situations like a man messing with a woman.
Trevor's mother did an amazing job. His grandmother too.
I beg to differ
Sova Ro His father didn't raise him though. His mother encouraged him to think and she raised him with values and respect that more men should have and the type of support that I'm not sure most kids ever get.
No upbringing is perfect but she let him grow and most parents don't do that.
@@ThePinkBinks - I apologize to everyone with deep regret for my ignorant, flippant, presumptuous and thus all the more idiotic comment. I didn't know about Trevor Noah's background.
I wish I never wrote it. Do you think it would be OK to delete it?
Imagine the unreported abuse and torture of women and children in war torn places. It s even scarier and more heart breaking.
Or imagine the _men_ society _expects_ to die in those pointless wars?
@@Derrickthepeng Just stop. The American interventionism is something that needs talking about. But your whataboutism doesn't belong here.
@@unapatton1978 No women or children are dying because nobody cares about them. Men are actively being sent to die. This is beyond a whataboutism, men are much worse off in wartime, but strangely this is never addressed.
German concentration camps are always talked about. But when I first heard that there were brothels for some gratification schemes for inmates, I felt so sickened. And then I never heard about it afterwards. Amnesty International had a slew of reports of sexualised violence in the Yugoslavian war on a mass and systematic scale, and I never heard on the mainstream news. And so on and so forth.
Reports are out there. But it is always a niche topic.
@@Derrickthepeng You think war is just about men fighting in a big field, or something, like in the movies, video games, or whatever, don't you? First of all, if you want to blame anyone, blame men for war. They always start it. Those pointless wars you supposedly hate: men started those. Also, the issue of men dying in war "is not addressed" because the issue of *PEOPLE* dying in war is what is the issue being addressed is. War does not discriminate...and why are you making this a competition about how many people die. And war is not just about death. Don't you know how many people die or are horribly treated in war that are not men? A lot. Women and children. You don't know that because those pieces of fiction you consume don't show this part. If you knew what everyone goes through, you would not single out men as the only true victims. Don't pretend like you are anti-war, either. Understand it first. Don't pretend like you actually care about men. You are just using men's suffering just to say, “aLsO mEn” to shut down the issues women have. You don't care about anyone else, because an actual kind human being would not respond the very real gender-based issue with, “mEn SuFfEr ToO.” Almost guaranteed you react to the mistreating of homosexuals with, "bUt StRaiGhT pEoPLe ArE aLsO sUfFeRiNg."
Right now, we are talking about the discriminatory violence against women. If you want to talk about men's issues, go start a podcast. Spit out all your hate of women's issues are being addressed and pretend like you are not just using men's real suffering as a way to downplay other real issues. Be like the "menimists" and feminazi or "straight pride" extremists who don't actually care about what they claim to fight for, but rather use it to degrade others. Go.
"Let's not make this the one thing that we don't take credit for." Thank you for addressing this issue.
@@aneesh7038 Men (myself included) like to take credit for everything. Its a stereotype but not an inaccurate one.
Trevors bit about women taking their chances with cars over men hit really hard. Almost everyday, for the 4 years I attended high school, I’d walk the longer route home, down the busiest streets I knew of. I was almost always next to the curb of a street, ready to jump onto the street, to somehow get a persons help if I needed it. Whether I was hit by a car or attacked by a man.
When I was 13, I was just going back home from the park and I was pretty close to my house but a middle aged very big man came up to me and started asking me multiple times ''How much is your cost? HOW MUCH IS YOUR COST??" I said "I don't know" because I don't even understand what he even mean by that question until 3 years later after thinking about it (it's so disgusting to even think about it now) I just started walking very fast towards my house and he started following then I just ran and went inside and locked the door I was so scared but did not say anything about this incident to my parents because I knew my parents will start putting restrictions on me after knowing what had happened and still to this day I have never told anybody about this that this had happened to me.
That was a nasty experience, and not being to count on your parents understanding and being on your side is very bad.
That's so scary! 😭
Thank you for sharing. That's awful
My male friend will never understand why I feel uneasy walking past a group of men, even if he's with me.
I've been catcalled while walking with a male friend. He didn't even notice.
I have many female friends and honestly I find that irritating I wish you would be more vocal
.
when it comes to fighting men are accustomed to being yelled or cussed at directly sometimes just outright called out and challenged. picking up little subtleties sneak disses and subtle hush-hush stuff not really on the Forefront of our thinking.
growing up, it seemed like every show and every movie told boys to "never take no for an answer" and "persistence gets the girl".. these were common tropes, and it was the advice you'd get when asking adults about girls. looking back, it's just like.. yikes..
When I was a tween, I once went to our local mini-store, where the owner’s young son ran up to me and reached his hand up my breast, quickly ran back to his father, who then LAUGHED. #Educatethemyoung
I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you okay?
@3-7-77 Did you read the word "tween?" Stop criticizing her. If I was in her position, I would have just wanted to get as far away from what happened as possible. Maybe you would have been better, but I doubt it.
If you truly believe it wasn't your fault, you shouldn't lecture a person on how they reacted to what happened to them when they were a CHILD.
@@ravenrose5712 That means a lot, thank you. Was having a bad day dealing with grief and read your comment.
I pray you heal everyday and for this phenomenon to just disappear ASAP and women shouldn’t put up with these bs anymore
Nothing about this is funny. But so very typical of just being born female. From a very young childhood, I grew up experiencing ALL what is described here. THIS IS THE GIRL EXPERIENCE GROWING UP. It’s the constant vigilance, fear, running, hiding, even bargaining. Just to protect you from being preyed upon, stalked, attacked, assaulted by the mere fact you are female. And your mother gave some warning at least that you must do this. The ever present vigilance of waiting for the next attack. It’s just exactly what a mouse or little bird must feel and just have that as your daily existence. It is quite truly an exhausting unique feeling…..just being a woman in this hostile world. MEN ARE OFTEN YOUR HUNTER….WOMEN ARE THE PREY.
“Don’t make it the one thing we don’t take credit for” ☠️
@@aneesh7038 Men have historically taken women's credit for scientific, philosophical, etc., discovery, like with Marie Curie. Just kept on taking and taking things away from us we rightly deserved.
@@aneesh7038
That’s because Marie Curie was recognized.
But try to make an example with women that weren’t recognized.
They weren’t recognized and remained unknown.
Feminists around the world try to find this women that were buried by men egos through centuries. It does need intense research, in many cases, to declutter women biographies from the men around them and to finally recognize some women achievements.
@@aneesh7038 just go on reddit and look for any discussion about women's topics, within the first 10 top comments you find the ''but what about men'' or ''if roles where reseved'' comment without fail. One that comes to mind is that you can't discuss FGM without having men chime in about how cruel they find circumcision and how they are the real victim. Every discussion gets derailed and shifted so men can be in the center of it, and thats what “Don’t make it the one thing we don’t take credit for” meant.
When I was 11 or 12 I was with my mom looking for a christmas tree at one of those pop up stands in a store parking lot. The guy selling the trees was hitting on BOTH of us, comparing our bodies to the shapes of the trees. I remember he said to me "Look I've got these two beautiful trees, one tall and slender and one with a little bit of a tummy on her" and I said, "Oh, I've got a little bit of a tummy on me" because I was a CHILD and didn't know what was going on. My mom bought our tree and got out of there as quickly as possible and then had to pull me aside and explain what was going on- that he was hitting on me and that what I'd said would be interpreted by him as encouraging that behavior and flirting back, even though I was still a literal child. It was the first time I realized that I have to watch what I say around men, and I stopped being as outgoing and friendly with strangers after that incident. Small talk with strange men still feels scary because I don't know what situation I'm going to have to talk my way out of.
I'm sorry your mom made you feel complicit, I had similar experiences in my early teens where I was told that being "myself" was provocative because some man might take it the wrong way. What I want to know, is why young children and teenagers are expected to be more mature and more responsible for their behavior than grown men. It makes men look so WEAK, like they have NO self-control at all - Can they not tell the difference between a child and a woman? or do they not care? In what world is that OK?
Also, I don’t believe you
I live in my car and police get mad at me if I call about men who won't stay away from me in the middle of the night. It's infuriating having a large man with a gun and a radio for backup telling me that "You can't be afraid of these things" when some unknown guy pulls up right next to me when he sees me in the parking lot at 2 AM, or I don't own the parking lot when I call about a guy who keeps coming up to my car at night doing things like pulling my door open while I'm trying to hold it closed.
The police in this area are usually nice to me, but if I call about a man making me uncomfortable in the middle of the night, I get lectured as if I'm some child being unreasonable.
I am so sorry.... I wish you the best!!! ❤❤❤
I’m sorry this is happening. Please be safe.
I was only 11 years old when my step Grampa was sexually harassing me and now I can't talk to my grandma about it cause she'd always say: "It happend a long time ago". No one ever cared and I still have trauma till this day
I am so incredibly sorry. I hope you are safe from them now & able to protect yourself in some way. Are you able to get into therapy? You can try google searching providers in your insurance network, or talk to your family doctor about linking you to resources?
I was walking in the mall in the middle of the day and this man came up behind me and groped my private area. I turned around in shock and he slowly walked away as if he had done nothing wrong. I was terrified and went to the security center and the guy there was so casual about it and in no rush to find the pervert. So sad and infuriating....In the middle of the day in a public space...it's hard to feel safe sometimes.
A man did that to me when I was 7 in Vietnam. My mom didn't call the cops. Cops there are not paid enough so they're corrupt and would brush off these kinds of crimes.
I was working in my first job in DT Cleveland. I had to walk 10 minutes to the train. There were always many people around. I was suddenly surrounded by a group of young males. They grabbed, groped and fondled me for several minutes. I had a dress on and could feel their hands assaulting me. I was screaming my head off the whole time. I was yelling for help. They finally stopped. I was on the pavement, scratched and bleeding. People were just walking past me, ignoring the whole thing. I think I cried for a week after. Never reported it. Because my parents knew I’d suffered other humiliations. They just ignored. It was more embarrassing for them to face than to report abuse.
Even as a mom when I'm going home alone I'm worried about what I will do of someone tried to attack me. So I carry pepper spray and have my keys on hand. I will Fight with everything I have to protect my babies.
czcams.com/video/fnVf7lVZ8sg/video.html
Guns are better.
@Robert Monroe What mass shootings? Do you even know what the actual frequency of death is by the actual numbers? or do you prefer to parrot the glib claims of unfunny comedians? The biggest killer in the USA is fast food, it takes out hundreds of thousands a year, how about slip and falls? or hammers? or fists? or car accidents? all are more deadly. Your chance encounter with a centerfire rifle is less than being struck by lightning. FBI crime tables bare out the evidence.
@Robert Monroe "What has the world turned into?!"
i think the world has always been like this, or even worse. i think i read some news last year that in russia they wanted to pass a law that would make beating your wife illegal, and it didn't pass :(
@@TheBlackB0X guns are better, but even if you can get one, you'll have to change your entire life and mentality to use one. if you're not down at the range at least twice a week sooting hundreds of cartridges, then you're better off not getting a gun since you won't have the skill to use it well under stress!
If all of us men claim to love and respect women, then who are the men perpetrating these wicked acts against them? We are the men making them feel unsafe daily? It’s really sad and we need to do better. Us men should start speaking up against our fellow men, we should start talking to ourselves about respecting women and making them safe.
Thank you! I hope the other guys listen. I know many, many men who never do things like this. They’re paying for the cruelty of others too, because they’re grouped with these men even when they don’t act the same.
@@BeeWhistler All men will be grouped with the bad ones until we all start acting by talking to ourselves and reporting the ones we know are guilty rather than look the other way or cover up.
@@BeeWhistler we have to be cautious of all men, because we don't always know which ones will turn out to be dangerous. Every woman I know, myself included, has gone through some scary situations with men. And it starts young. Often when we're still obviously just girls.
In my experience, people always have some way to justify their actions even when it hurts others. I know many people who commit abusive acts, for example, but they would never think of themselves as abusers. People never want to look in the mirror and be honest with themselves about what they are.
@@NotSoNormal1987 This singular fact makes me very sad. The fact that men have made women always feel unsafe. Our women should never feel unsafe around us or our brothers or our friends. It’s the reason I said earlier that we have a lot of talking to do. We have to talk to ourselves, caution ourselves and report ourselves if need be. This really needs to turn.
I remember when my mother gave me pepper spray when i started to go out... this shows how normal it is for us women to be prepared for any situation
I’ve been stalked in broad daylight on a busy street, I’ve been catcalled by randos in a car, and I’ve turned down more than a few men who were absolutely flabbergasted that I was, in fact, just being *a person* and not flirting with them, just because I was nice to them.
We have to stop teaching our kids that boys and girls can’t be real friends, that it’s not only okay but *romantic* to keep bothering someone until they date you, and that assault can be stopped by just being less of a target. None of those things is healthy, and they all contribute to this culture where some men go way too far, and women end up hurt or dead.
When I was in middle school a female friend and I were leaving my house to hang out. We were walking down the street talking when we notice two teenage looking boys that were following us. We both acknowledge it to one another but continued to walk as normally as we could. This was many years ago now (im in college) but I remember we heard the boys say something about us and something else that made us both scared- it may have been something about grabbing us but my memory isn't great at remembering those details. It just became apparent that they weren't just walking behind us. So we sped up walking and turned sharply on the road towards the gas station, the two followed and quickened. My friend and I panicked and decided to run into the gas station- when we got there we literally hid towards the back behind the shelves and watched the two walk into the gas station looking around for us. The cashiers were looking at us confused but didn't say anything and shortly later the two left and my friend and I relaxed. At the time since nothing happened neither of us told anyone and while the cashiers looked at us they didn't say anything. It wasn't until I got older that I realized how dangerous that situation might have been. That was the first time I had a dangerous encounter with males in public but certainly not the last- :/
Y'know, seeing those statistics really disturbing more than horror movie could ever achieve cuz we know it's actually real and happening right now.
czcams.com/video/fnVf7lVZ8sg/video.html
agreed. I had a BF who couldnt understand why I never get scared in haunted houses or horror films, I told him bc I am a woman and the real danger to me I have to interact with everyday (AKA men).
dear females these men have mothers too please forgive the male species there aren't that much of them. dear males you have mothers who brought you into the world respect all females' bodies you don't need all the power. be empowered by taking action. period.
@@1122juicyy how about men start treating us like human beings LIKE THEMSELVES without having to picture their mother? I will never have kids, is it okay to harass me according to you?
It's just so normal to be on guard literally all the time
This is why we make best friends in bar bathrooms, that might be your last witness
I am a domestic violence counselor in Chicago.
I want to let you know if you’re suffering of any form of domestic violence ( emotional abuse, economic abuse, threats , physical harm)
It is not your fault, I believe you and you have options.
Im at college right now, as a woman. It is a normal part of my routine to ask my friends to text me when they get back to their dorms. Its just a part of our life. I thought it was something everyone did.
czcams.com/video/fnVf7lVZ8sg/video.html
@Robert Monroe nah, it was worse before.
Right?!? I just made a similar comment, before reading yours. I'd honestly never reflected on it.
Its the same around the world,it’s like brushing teeth in the morning
It is normal. I've been doing that since before texting ie call me when you get home so I know you got there safely.
It amazed me that everything he was shocked by, I just shook my head yes and didn’t get what the deal was and how this was just normal. It took me time to think and say, “What would my life have been like if males didn’t abuse me or harass me?” I just can’t imagine.
czcams.com/video/1l26UFQ06eQ/video.html
Think of how much time you’d have to focus on other things
Love to you! 🕊
I was telling a coworker that as a man, our fear of being physically assaulted diminishes a great deal after we’ve reached physical maturity; our fear of being sexually assaulted pretty much evaporates but women have to carry some level of fear, or wariness about being assaulted their entire lives.
Once, we accidently drove in front of this man who wanted to drive in the same corner we did. He saw that all the passengers and the driver were girls, chased us all the way to our college street. I saw him as we drove away, his face was so full of hatred I can still remember it. But then he saw some of our male seniors nearby at the side of the street (they were jogging) and he stopped his car before turning the other way. It's terrifying to think that if there were no one of those seniors near us at that time, he would've hit our car with his.
(p/s my native language is not English, sorry for any mistakes.)
That sounds like road rage, not sexism.
@@faded9581 Sometimes it can be both. He was willing to pursue a group of women, but ran from a group of men.
@@faded9581 then why did he flee when there were nearby men?
Thank you, Noah, keep it up. From a 63-year-old woman who hasn't had a single year of my life when men haven't harmed me ins some form or other. This does not count the women who have fed the beast out of habit from the way they were trained by the men.
Or maybe you're just a terrible person who blames untold millions of human beings for your innate singular flaws and you never grasped the entire equation of your miserable existence might JUST BE YOU.
Bless you dear🌺❤
@@TheBlackB0X lol bro, saying society should teach everyone from a young age how to be respectful and not hurt women specifically and people in general is not even in the same dimension as “aLl MeN aRe RaPiStS” which literally not a single person in this entire comment section has said so far besides you. But keep crying bro, I’m sure those “feminists owned” videos are teaching you the actual truth😂😂🖕
@@VMohdude- Thank you VM. Guys like "Allsafe" are mean spirited and clueless. The dominant male in all civilizations around the world are headed for a long road if they don't let people hold a mirror up to their face so they can see what it is they are destroying. I wonder if its just too late Thank you again, for your comments. Toni in Washington State.
That horrible to hear. I for one did not see the extent of the issue or that I could be part of the problem/solution because I have never harmed a woman. I know I was ignorant back then but I know now and am doing the best to speak about it with friends. Women, keep sharing your experinces, most men are just a bit ignorant and needs to realize the true extent of the problem. Im hopeful its gonna get better, at least in my country it seems so, the more of these kind of discussions that are being had. I and most my friends understand the issue now and of the ways we unknowingly could contribute to the problem and to the structural issues in society which have led to this situation.
Im sorry its not going any faster, but I think you can be hopeful that it is at least going in the right direction.
Redefining "man up": to stop mansplaining, catcalling, harrassing, pretending to own women and really, performing any misogynistic act 24/7 for the rest of your life. Requires constant awareness, humility and a lot of real confidence.
Is there’s a way on how to educate men on what to say and not to say on a woman
@@Frankieefootballmundial yeah its called ✨school✨
This comment was fine until you used the word mansplaining like a serious thing
My mom taught all of my siblings and myself that when we went to visit our friends we had to let them know once we got back home. Back then it was a phone call because cell phones didn't exist. Also, when dropping off someone at home we had to wait until we saw them going inside their house in case something happened. I always thought it was something everyone did until I realized it wasn't.
You can't walk down the street with headphones on...you have to be able to hear if someone is following you
The sickest thing is that the time in my life when I experienced the most catcalling was when I was around 14 years old. I was still a child and these groups of men would just yell at me when I was just walking home from school
Same here.
Same here.
oof I’m so sorry about that. I never knew so many men were creeps😢
Experienced it too!
Same . One time in middle school someone stole my coat and I had to walk Home with no coat on and I was freezing.Men kept whistling and pulling up slowly in their cars -I felt so violated and disgusted.
Tears rolled down my face the whole walk home and all I could think of was how much I hated being a woman at just 13 years old . No little girl should have to go through that.
It's so sad women have to live their lives like this. Men let's keep each other accountable
Multiple times I’ve gotten into a cab, the first thing the driver says to me: [heavy breathing] “Do you live alone?” “Do you have a security system?” “Do you have a dog?” “Do you have a boyfriend?” And the scariest: “Do you carry a gun?” I pray he takes me to my destination and that the child locks are not engaged. I have been so happy during quarantine, not having to go anywhere. I forgot how joyful life can be when you don’t have to constantly be vigilant and fearful.
Get a gun, learn how to use it, and tell them if they keep talking they’ll find out
I don’t wear headphones, because I can’t hear ppl sneaking up on me. Headphones make you more vulnerable.
Facts! I only wear one headphone.
I’m a grown adult woman and it took me a long time to get over the gripping fear I feel living alone. Even now, unexpected noises (esp at night) make me jump out of my skin.
having a cat made me get very comfortable with unexpected noises, very quickly. that idiot's always doing something...
On the other hand, I'm still getting used to the feeling of safety now that I live alone. Whether we live alone or with someone, the home should be a safe zone.
Me Who felt that. She knocks down glasses that I am using at that moment.
That's one of the benefits of having a dog, he'll always know when someone is around before me
"Exactly how much clothes do I have to wear to get you to leave me alone?"
If you cover up too much, then you'll be harangued by Islamophobes for covering your hair and face. These behaviors need to be purged; nobody wins.
Maybe ask muslims, they sure tell you how much clothes you have to put on, whether you want it or not.
@@formentorvz5 Okay, now _you're_ being Islamophobic; a Muslim that respects other cultures and other peoples' choices won't do that, and there's way more than you think. Don't judge people by their despotic governments, especially when they didn't vote for them and _couldn't_ have voted for them.
@@christopherb501 what will tell you a Muslim who does not respect other cultures?
@@christopherb501 lol youtube is deleting my reply. cant handle the truth.
I remember the first time my mother showed me how to hold car keys if I need to defend myself. I was 10 years old.
I had a man mansplain what "mansplaining" is to me his daughter because he accused me of doing it to him.
I can't tell if this comment is serious ironic satire or what
Abuse Vs harassment: abuse might be more obviously wrong and showing, but harassment goes and can make a women feel generally unsafe, every time we get in contact with a male.
This topic should be discussed in schools, families and government. Systematic change is needed, so we can all live in much less anxious states of reality.
Thank you Trevor, for addressing this issue👍
And being ignorant to, or dismissive of the little things can prime males it's ok to disrespect women and become abusive later on.
I would love for women who voted for Pussygrabber to explain to me what was going on in their minds.
@@buckstan oh wow... Why would JUST the WOMEN have to explain themselves? As if the Males voting for him are not equally supporting this person with evil behaviours as well? Or should just females always have to explain themselves? By adopting this attitude towards people, no matter what gender, can cause aversion.
As for answering the question, I can imagine why...
People have been seeing and hearing so much propaganda, repeated over and over again, so that it permiated in their unconscious long enough since 2015. This has cause distortion of facts, disbelief in all media, but the very few, and made it so people actually believed that they did the best thing possible. (Saying as someone that was both glad that Hillary didn't win, and quite surprised and soon after that: appalled that Trump won!)
The Q voters, lots of female, suburban or career mom's, were lured into voting for trump, believing he'd change things. Not realizing this is an actor, not a policy maker. There were lots of posts online, seemingly nice and all, but playing into these woman their largest fears; pedos hurting their children. Fear is the mindkiller, so they voted out of fear, often not even realizing this themselves.
And: the way woman have been conditioned to be treated, or to be meek, not saying or knowing how to respond to these persistent forms of (subtle) harassment, makes it so that quite some might not even know better, or realize that these subtle things are not ok, and causing a daily level of anxiety, influencing your whole life.
@Robert Monroe "Karens", we all know woman that fall under that stereo type, as do we with all other female names that woman can be called, to be dismissed. (How many male names do you know that are as dismissively used against man behaving entitled, or assertively?!?)
These ladies, often act out in ridiculous ways, I agree. But what would be the root cause of this entitlement?
@@Fire-Queen why would men who aren't directly threatened by the objectification and mistreatment of women not have to explain themselves for voting for someone who reinforces their views?
While I was heading into Walmart a guy driving through the parking lot was waving me down, stopped and got out and was in my space saying how beautiful I was and just being weird he hugged me and smelled me and was blocking cars trying to get through. I said I don’t know u and I have to go. And went in. An hour later he was in the parking lot standing by my car. I had security walk me out and he took off . This was a week after a homeless man attacked me in broad daylight while I was walking into an office. He chased me, I got the door in between us and he came through the glass door and shattered it. And was still chasing me! Every time I walk at least one vehicle pulls up. I keep mace in hand always now.
@@Livetoeat171 really dawg? Did you watch the video? Did you not get to the whole section about victim blaming? She did not give him permission to do that. If your first thought is to blame the woman for being harassed or assaulted, you are part of the problem.
@@Livetoeat171 if you say no and/or fight back you will often get aggression and will be beaten up. Most women (un)conciously want to avoid that. I am over 6 feet and have a bit of martial arts training. I also don't live in a country with many guns. I confront and fight back with words and if need be with violence. But I will never fault someone else for not doing that.
Also if people are afraid it's fight flight or freeze. If someone freezes, then it's hard enough to get out of the situation.
I get what you mean and we should all strive to make it a saver world for each other. I wait in parking lots of restrooms at the freeway until a woman that is there on her own like me is safely in her car before I drive off. In the dark I don't walk behind a woman because I could be mistaken for a man. You can only imrpove yourself don't blame others. In hindsight other options may seem more logical to you or also to them.
@@Livetoeat171 Fighting back only makes an already aggressive man come back harder. Women are just trying to stay alive. You have no idea what you're talking about.
@@Livetoeat171 I will repeat: you have no idea what you're talking about.
@@Livetoeat171 And when we tell them no or make it clear the contact is unwanted, we are ATTACKED and sometimes KILLED FOR IT.
Knock off the victim blaming and start teaching MEN that they do not have the right to access OUR BODIES without consent!!
As a woman, I have never heard a man treat this issue with such respect. So, I just want to thank you for setting this example ♡
This may be bad but sometime I pretend to be deaf so man can leave me alone. Some of them still touch me and be like I’m talking to you. 🙃🙃
Ugh creepy. I'm sorry they touch you, I know it's just to get your attention but yuck.
@@punkluckey8886 yeah now I have a safety alarm to scare them
Now, imagine the minefield of the intersectionality of being a Black Woman. 👀 👀
Intersectionality totally needs to be talked about more in mainstream avenues. I wish I'd learned about it before college, but apparently young white people (aka me) need to go to college to be told these things by adults?
I really can't imagine how hard that is. I'm so sorry you have to deal with both and I wish I had more to give than just words. My heart goes out to all of my minority ladies.
And/or Indigenous, and/or autistic, and/or blind, and/or transgender, and/or an immigrant, and/or...
As a white woman I can only imagine.... I feel for you!! Stay strong, and I hope the day will come where both sexism and racism will be words no longer used in our vocabulary ❤❤❤
Ughh...I feel for you.