Violence Against Women & What Men Can Do to Stop It - Beyond the Scenes | The Daily Show
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- čas přidán 9. 05. 2022
- Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s divorce started as a celebrity scandal, but has evolved into a larger discussion surrounding the harassment many women face when trying to leave a relationship. In this episode, host Roy Wood Jr. sits down with Daily Show writer Christiana Mbakwe-Medina and journalist Rachel Louise Snyder to discuss how The Daily Show has covered this topic, the many types of violence women endure on a daily basis, and the lengths women go to in order to feel safe.
For further resources visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.thehotline.org
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Roy, thank you for your most important question: "Why is the burden on women to stay safe rather than on men to change their behavior?"
I think that's because you have control over your own actions and decisions more than you have over that of a criminal
The burden is shared by everyone. It is Your burden to prevent someone trying to endanger your safety. It is the states burden to punish someone after they commit a crime.
Like if I see someone following me, and still choose a dark, unlit, street to walk down. I failed in prevention of the assault or robbery, after it happens I can only hope for justice through the authorities, but they can't go back and stop the issue before it ever happened.
Probably because even if 99.9% of men maintain healthy behaviors to women there is always that 0.1 % who doesn’t
@@User-pw3pu: wrong. that's victim-blaming. this is like saying a woman shouldn't wear a skirt.
the responsibility is 100% on people - in this case, mostly men - to be decent human beings.
@@peterg5383 If it was it would apply across the board. It clearly doesn't, you just see women as inherently different and uncapable of defending themselves
This is how sick our society is, people are willing to mind their own business when it's domestic violence, yet feel they are justified in dictating a woman/girls right to have an abortion, or have a right to privacy with her doctor patient relationship!🤔
A man is more likely to stop and help a woman who’s car is broken than stop domestic violence being witnessed.
Excellent comment. Respect that invisible man. The mythical boyfriend or husband more than they'll respect women's consent. WOW
Gosh I so agree. This is so ridiculous! I just can't believe we can't stop the ball that is rolling about abortion. I feel like I'm in the Handmade's Tale. We have to do some type of offensive protest. Petition a "vasectomy bill" insist State funded programs. Free prenatal treatment and supplies. All children born in states that prohibit abortion can receive child support thru a fund that supports all children born in that state till the age of 18. AND State funded self defense classes for women. We have to stop the madness!!
Or engage in misogyny, keeping women in check like in the Ginny Thomas/Clarence Thomas situation. Educated women scare some.
Abortion is just the woman's issue?
"Men are dumb" - No, they're not. I'm tired of this expression being used to excuse men's unacceptable behavior towards women. Ask yourself the question: "Would a man do this to another man?" The answer is almost always a resounding "No." Men KNOW what kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not acceptable. They know this because they would never do it to another man, and they would find it unacceptable if another man behaved similarly towards them. Men actively CHOOSE to behave unacceptably towards women. Men are not dumb; they are fully aware of what they are doing and they do it because they want to. And that should tell you all you need to know about the kind of people they truly are.
Most do know. And "...about the people some truly are". Do you agree?
And why would a woman marry such a man as you described. Our population numbers will continue to drop because we don't want to bear any children fathered by such creepy men. Better the population goes down than have this continued.
Go work on your self, so much hurt.
💯.
“men are dumb”.. such a pathetic excuse.
this observation made in the video really resonates with me: when a woman has to pretend that she has a man in the house who will protect her from other men showing up at the house. it's almost like she's forced to assert that she is the property of a man, to get other men to respect her guy's property rights.
@ Nonya Bizness & that's exactly how the patriarchal functions & maintains its grip in this matrix. Its the game of the Mafia, coming to collect. Give us your money so you can have protection, say no & you run the chance to see everything go up in flames. But they are the ones wrecking havoc & chaos & burning everything. The delusion is not recognizing how its all linked, connecting. Not recognizing this is how the male energy on this planet is coercively forcing women to entertain man & not seek independence & to keep at it, even after they have broken us. Just look at Indian's & most oft he Arabic societies, there is no limit to what the women are subject to over there & yet having a men in the household for protection is everything. creating internalized misogyny & severe cognitive dissonance
@@stargates9993 yup, and now we are about to be ruled by genesis 3:16 "i will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children."
I don't know. I was sexually assaulted in my own home three years ago and I still don't take as many precautions as these women are describing. At one point I feel you have to decide not to let these kinds of things claim too much power over you.
I learned this in 1954!
I did something similar in taxis - make a phone call to a nonexistent boyfriend, to make it seem like there was someone waiting for me.
Poignant statement "'Men will respect an invisible man rather than the women in front of them." I had to explained to my grandson , who was 15 at the time about being a women in spaces. This was excellent !
If you're teaching a 15 yr kid about respecting women...I don't think that statement is the best approach to do it!
@@adityashandilya2789but if a 15 year old hears that in a “this is NOT the way to act” context, they’re more likely to recognize and think about that behavior in themselves and others later
I hope your grandson will take these lessons to heart. We need to teach all the kids about safety, consent, and autonomy ❤️🩹
@@adityashandilya2789 How did you read this and get that from the statement. I just heard the statement on here and I said...I had to explain to my grandson, who WAS 15 ABOUT being a women in spaces.Explain about women in spaces not about the statement. Context clues. Two statements not connected with a conjunction.
Thank you for explaining this to your grandson! Please tell him also that that information is not only for him, and he needs to tell all his friends by the end of next week (setting a deadline will put fire under his feet - he won't want to disappoint the matriarch of the family!). Tell him to ask his friends to post something about it on their Social Media accounts, then follow them on those accounts to review their responses. Converse with them about those after they post them. Encourage them to have the same conversation with their friends, and to get them to post about it as well. *Get a movement started!*
We need to also include the objectification and harassment of young teenage girls by adult men. It starts as soon as we hit puberty and a 13 year old is a child so it's harrowing and traumatizing.
I was searching for a comment like this because while domestic violence is a big part of violence against women there is unfortunately so much more. So many other people (also often men) can be verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually abusive: (older) family members, coaches, peers, "friends", strangers on the street...
Yup and even younger with teaching Young girls to accept abuse from boys coz "he just bothers you because he likes you" or my least favorite fallacy "boys aren't as mature as girls, so you gotta be patient with your class mates, when they act like tiny misogynistic arseholes"
Agreed! And people enable it actively, or by looking the other way. My dad sexualized me, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It doesn't just start at puberty. Society sexualizes young girls starting at 7 or 8 years old. It's terrible.
There is a maiden look that can apply to females from 12 to about 28: they can look very much alike
My boyfriend teased me a little for all my quirks about my movements through life at first until I walked around announcing all the things I feel and think while walking through certain situations. I have thought about what I would do if anyone came through every door and window. What would I grab? where would I run? etc. His face got serious when he realized I wasn't joking and being my normal comical self.
It's very impressive that man built and secure our country to the degree that women think that they can protect themselves trust me you have no idea how it is to engage in any real conflicts serving any higher level degree in the military and you will understand
@@ahmadgamoor3746 It's very impressive that there are still men who think that there are women who don't serve in the military. Also impressive to think that women don't take self-defense/martial arts, and aren't creative enough to find ways to defend themselves 🤦🏿♀️
@@AlexisJoy006 most of them want you to be defenseless just because we are women.. It's sickening..
My boyfriend parks at the back of the lot so his car won’t get dinged. One time when he was parking I said “I would NEVER choose this spot if I was alone.” He said “Oh, I can park closer if you don’t want to walk.”
I said “No, I mean that truck with the big camper trailer is blocking the line of sight from the store to the car.”
He hadn’t even noticed and was completely shocked that such a a thing hadn’t occurred to him.
@@jglobetrotter2830 In a world where men are given the roles of "protector", "provider", and "fighter", ironically society has conditioned them to let their own guards down because society collectively protects them.
The judicial system and police do not take it too seriously either. Its scary. Im a victim and advocate myself and was unable to get the police or courts to listen...
This piece is so needed....
I'm Mexican. I lived as an immigrant in NYC and faced stalking and harassment by men almost everyday on my way to work, one time I was followed and attacked but had the determination to fight and I survived. Going to the police to file a report was devastating, policemen in NYC rather protect an invisible man and tried to criminalize the woman in front of them. The patriarchal pact is a real thing. I thought I was being courageous to report so that other women wouldn't be attacked by that man, instead I was risking being put in jail in a foreign country, miles away from my loved ones for having been able to defend myself without getting any "visible bruises". I had the luck of having an American colleague by my side stepping up for me when the police tried to criminalize me for trying to report the crime of a man. Reporting in NYC is just as bad as reporting in Mexico. Men will go to incredible extents to protect other men from being accountable, at the expense of women's lives. I'm grateful to the Daily show for placing this in its agenda, for listening to its women writers, and having its men talk about it. It should be clear from this how abandoned by society common women are if someone as powerful as a Kardashian is not safe from this. Thank you Christiana, thank you Trevor, thank you Roy. Please don't stop talking about all the ignored and invisible violence that women suffer just for going to work, for going to the laundromat, for deciding to be single, for going to school, for walking outside, for trying to exist outside the property of a man.
I'm so glad you survived. I'm sorry this happened to you.
@暁アブラハム Question: why don't you mind your own business?
@暁アブラハム Why is it relevant?
@暁アブラハム ?
@暁アブラハム
If you or other people concern whether she's a legal or illegal immigrant, I think she's a legal one. Illegal immigrants wouldn't dare to have contact with the police whatsoever, nevertheless to report a case. The first thing the police would do is check your ID and your address. False ID would be found out within minutes when they check to the national database.
The journalism done by The Daily Show is award worthy work. This was the best of the best the show has to offer. Thank you.
There is another part to this: Long term PTSD done by an abusive partner. I still have moments where I freeze and have to fight being stuck in my head. Abuse even when a woman is free doesn't end there... it effects every part of her life! It takes a lot of work to function normal again and you're never quite the same. I'd love to share my story on this topic. You guys nailed it on isolation for sure! So much of this happened to me and I still suffer 10 years later from it all.
Marital rapes also. People do not grok the shame, horror, betrayal; both partners are to want or No Go.
These comments are giving me renewed hope. It's been 5.5 years since I was nearly murdered and the PTSD is overwhelming sometimes.
That is true and beware of fathers, church leaders
because some of them are really horrible.
Unless there is a child involved. I still live my trauma every day.
I really appreciate Christiana's identification of the public's need for an ideal victim. This is so true for intimate partner violence as well as police and state violence.
Yes, 100x. Whenever someone is killed by the police in a completely unreasonable manner, ie George Floyd, every little previous arrest and accusation surfaces. Not like people are arrested by mistake or based on lies.
I had a friend who had a very abusive husband. When she called the police, they would tell him to knock it off or take out the phone. He was also a cop, and they were all his friends. There were no consequences.
There are no consequences, except for the victims. That “brothers in arms” thing is so real! If an abuser has connections with the police, political leaders, and/or money, a victim is basically out of luck. I am sorry for what happened to your friend.
Let's also note that women have been violently attacked or killed for rejecting a man's advancement.
They said that.
So have men yet no one speaks about it and instead laughs about it disappointingly. We even give women abusers flowers and parades when they attack a man refer to such atrocious behavior as empowerment.
Exactly!!! I worked in a bar where a guy and girl were at the bar. He invited her to a drink. Then he asked if she wanted to dance, she said NO, so he smashed the glass over her face.
This is why NO can be dangerous.
@@Phantom-vo8jy nope, we need to deal with ALL abusers. This isn't a competition with a point system.
@@fay5479 I watched a man get sexually harrassed by a woman and when he kept turning her down she told a bouncer that he assaulted her and he was then arrested. 🤨 Also saw an instance where a woman groped a man who dismissed her advances so she moved on to another gentleman misinformed him of the previous interaction leading to an ambulance being called.
This episode should have far more viewers. I am a man living in Germany and I was not aware that it is such a big problem. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Thank you for your support and recognition 💜
Welcome to reality? I guess? Well, thanks for finally figuring it out, even though it was *all around you, right in front of your eyes and ears, all the time...* Seriously. It shouldn't take a TV show pointing these things out, to you, or to anyone. The best penance you can do for not caring enough about women, in the past, to notice what you and all other men have been doing to us, openly, for all to see, is to go around and inform your "brothers" (men everywhere) about the real problem, and that it's *their* responsibility, ALONE, to fix it. This isn't a "woman problem," as so many men assume. It's 100% a MAN problem. So go forth, sir, and solve it by educating your "ignorant" brothers.
"No one cares about the pain of women." This. I see it everyday as women desperately fight to maintain the rights our foremothers fought and died for.
The same for a man.
NO its NOT the "same for a man" Did you hear ANYTHING on the video?
It's obvious you don't understand the topic, why don't you play it again and HEAR what's being said.
But yeah, we also see this in healthcare quite literally, where women's pain is ignored in symptoms and treatment. Double so for PoC.
No. Not quite the same.
Why is their so many policies and programs for Women if that's the case.
I make my partner watch a lot of the Behind The Scenes with me and we will pause, dissect, and discuss different parts of the podcast. This is truly an invaluable resource as sometimes I feel like my points are validated by professionals and it helps him digest the information more readily. So thank you very much. ❤
Saw a meme the other day about society today. A guy cat calls a girl and when he realizes the guy near her is with her apologized to HIM not her?! Why does the woman that's being insulted not deserve the apology? I've had that happen first hand! It's sheer disrespect.
happens all the time - they apologize to the guy. also, they address the guy, even when i am not with them (i.e. leaning over in front of me to ask a guy is this seat immediately next to me is open instead of asking me). also, if being harassed and i’m with guys at a restaurant and report it, they are quick to help, even if i don’t, they stop it. if alone at a restaurant, and am being harassed, it’s minimized and/or “my” fault.
I was at a club once & I saw this group of guys surround this female & she looked like she had alot to drink they all immediately started walking her out I quickly said Amy lets go dance & they quickly moved away from her.
You are doing tremendous work, Roy & Co. Giving topics like this more space is important, helps focus on details and impact. Thank you for putting in the extra effort.
They do an excellent job with these pieces!
Yoga at
Just had the same thought. These shows are always so well done, so insightful; I'm genuinely fascinated. Not always a fan of Roy's comedy, but I could listen to his serious conversations every day.
"The bar men have for violence is different and they think we are being hysterical" which is why it's so important for them to see that a change in behavior benefits everyone.
@You're Gonna Hate This You completely missed the point if you think a change in violent behavior = subservient and not being a decent human being. Watch and actively listen to the video.
So why are Men in the Ukraine staying and Women are leaving the country?
@@westernliberalwomanarchive2421 Because their government forced them to stay. Before the government did that, men and women were leaving, because people generally want to escape war. And the fact that men were ordered to stay means that the women who chose to stay are presumably twice as brave, since they CHOSE to fight despite having an out.
@@ad2094 But Women are equal right? Why not stay in mass and fight?
@@westernliberalwomanarchive2421 women are also staying or coming back to fight with the men. Where are u getting ur info from. There have been many reports of women coming back. And there is a reason the standard protocol is to evacuate women and children first and it has nothing to do with equal rights. Women produce life to prepopulate and children are the next generation. During war, u secure the future generations and baby makers first so that u could have means to rebuild ur society afterwards. This is common sense logic that u should understand as a grown adult
I see all the males here dodging responsibility, saying that "women abuse men more". And all kinds of non-sense.
That's a strawman argument to dodge responsibility and keep the status quo.
Maybe it’s just the men abused by women multiple times who say that. They get treated as abusers even though they never abused anyone themselves.
It’ll seem like it’s more to someone that’s been targeted more than once. Men, women, whatever… it’ll seem like more from their perspective.
@@ThePinkBinks oooor they just dodge the responsibility. Don't trust everybody on the internet
@@ThePinkBinks Look it's simple.
When you aggregate all the data of who's getting killed more often by intrapartner violence, the result is that women and girls are. If a woman is going to get beat up or killed 99% of the chance is going to be by a husband, boyfriend or ex.
There are mountains of data from all of the world that paints this same exact picture.
Men like to dodge responsibility and lie, and makes themselves the victims.
That isgaslighting!
Yeah right because this entire video didn't just strawman one side as an abusive demon and another side as the victim. Totally dude you do you with your Misandry.
Thank you to all of you and Trevor for doing this segment. It is very much needed. I spotted the harassment of Kim from day one. This is also why I hate the domestic violence laws in this country. The cops show up and the matter is treated more like a family squabble than an actual crime. If you step out on the street and strike a stranger, you will be treated more harshly than someone who abuses his spouse. (Yes, women can also be abusive.) No one deserves this kind of abuse, not even Kim Kardashian.
Not true. When the cops show up, they automatically put the man in hand cuffs regardless of how ridiculous the claim.
If no trauma is found, often times it’s the man that has to leave the comfort of his household until things settle.
Your statement is just factually incorrect.
@You're Gonna Hate This ,
Think you missed the point of the post, including the explanation that woman can be abusers.
If your friend wife had gone out and stabbed a stranger, she would have been arrested. However, because it was 'domestic abuse' the police treated the situation entirely differently. They turned up, ignored all the evidence in front of them, judged the situation entirely on personal bias, and decided to proceed without even a rudimentary investigation. That behavour is often what lets the abuser off completely, ensuring the prosecutor has little to actually proceed with should they go to trial.
That is the exact problem Dani highlighted!
@@Christian-re8bh That's not true everywhere!
@@Christian-re8bh It is true. It is not true. You are both right and you are both wrong. It goes both ways. But people fall for the specific issue bubble of hurted men and women that experienced only this...where everyone shares the same ideas and validates one another. That's not the reality.
@@Christian-re8bh not in my experience
Way to go Daily Show for shining a light on this very real threat to women and dilemma for policy makers and legislators.
More talks on these issues please. Domestic violence and toxic masculinity . Proud to b a subscriber. From India.
It's so nice hearing a dude even asking these questions - thank you!
I have been waiting for this one, Roy Wood Jr.!! Every time a topic comes up on The Daily Show, I find myself hoping you will do a *Beyond the Scenes* for it. Thanks for this one; it was powerful and excellent as always. 🤗🙌🏽✊🏽
@@busterofcoviddeniers sexist to do a report on a major problem that negatively effects millions of women daily? Are you so entitled that the world shouldn't talk about problems that are not surrounding you? Or does this just show that you are apart of the problem discussed in this video?
@@busterofcoviddeniers I agree way more needs to be said and done for male abuse victims but how is saying negative things about a video about women abuse victims at all helpful? It's all abuse and it all need to end. The video also spoke about how toxic masculinity hurts men. Did you miss that part? Support for all content discussing abuse and what should be done is essential but such negative statements being said when abuse information is being shared does nothing to expand the conversation.
@@busterofcoviddeniers If only a quarter of domestic abuse cases are against men, that means THREE QUARTERS are against women. Logically, we should focus on women more than men.
Did you have a story to share?
@@busterofcoviddeniers vilification of women doesn’t solve the issues. We are also not vilifying men. The point is to call attention to the men who are actually behaving as villains. Male and female abuse victims can stand together. It has been pointed out many times that there are male abuse victims. And toxic masculinity is only sexist if it applies to you, right?
I live alone, and when people come to my house to do repairs/pest control I am terrified the entire time. If I can, I try to get one of my brothers or friends to come over, but that's not always possible. I do have dogs, so they give me some level of a sense of safety.
Wishing i had bros. In my sixties, wrinkles and ugh, got groped by a plumber. After i called the company and was told “no, he’s a Christian “. 😬
I'm a trans man and live alone. I turn my apartment into a cishet man place when repair people come by. PTSD is lovely.
@@katsong3302 yeah, everyone just thinks you’re trying to cause problems by reporting something, and they totally have blinders because “that could never happen.” As if people find it FUN to make false reports of such a nature. That’s why these people do it, because they know they can get away from it.
More light needs to be brought to this.
Thank you for this conversation. I lost my friend in 2005. She was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. I miss her very much.
I live here in The Bahamas but this conversation applies so much to what women face here as well. There’s so many things that are applicable! I’m really thankful to learn what is happening.
Dating is terrifying. I was assaulted by someone I knew for over a year. I don't think most men are conscious enough of how much we are trying to figure out whether or not they are the sort of person who would hurt us when we date them.
There are 3 generations of abusers in my family. My mother broke the cycle. But she’s so PTSD she doesn’t really give herself credit. Men can stop violence.
Male violence against women is indeed a huge problem. Thank you for addressing it.
@CrazyNendo is the other way around male violence against other men?? Because that is a huge problem too
This deserves more views, seriously.
Abusers are not complicated people. It is very simple. An abusive person believes they have a right to do whatever they want to and around their victim. They see their victim as an object and do not care how it affects them as long as the effect is to give the abuser a feeling of power and control.
We only think they are complicated because many abusers outside the relationship are charming and upstanding members of the community. It's not complicated. They choose to indulge their abusive nature when and where they feel safe and justified doing it, and they choose to act like a decent person when and where decency gives them an advantage.
This shows they have a very self-centered worldview. People with that belief are not complicated. The only variation is how far individual abusers are willing to indulge their abusive natures. But the pattern is always the same.
Yes. I really hate when people want to apologize for abusers. This particular Beyond the Scenes, in my opinion, fell short a lot, from Roy trying to frame it all as "haha, men are just dumb" to them walking on absolute eggshells as "oh, Kanye is such a courageous person who has mental health issues, we didn't want to come down on him," like... what? THIS is the problem. Abusive men aren't "dumb." Mental health issues do not cause abuse.
A tip I’ve heard: if your car has a key with an alarm, sleep with your keys nearby. If someone starts breaking in, set off your car alarm. It could chase them away AND be a call for help
I’ve heard something about putting your keys in aluminum foil and say you want to use them. You might check that out. It has something to do with people being able to unlock your car because your Keys are nearby and it’s all Radio. This sounds crazy maybe, but it’s taking unfair advantage of the tech that is so convenient.
Wow! I am so glad they had this conversation. This is something that we all know is happening, but no one is discussing.
Thank you for covering this. It was so wonderful to hear Roy speak this way.
even just having this conversation is wonderfully cathartic ♥
Trevor is right when he says if Kim isn’t immune to this craziness. What chance do regular women have.
25:15 Even as a woman, it made me rethink the situation. I don't like the Kardashians at all. I tend to not have sympathy for their family. Everything I know about them was forced upon me by society. I tried to not think about her situation at all, but when that show aired, it did make me realize that if rich and famous women still don't have protection against their exes, then what chance do regular, typical women have to be protected from their violent and abusive exes. It's wrong whether a woman has only a $1 to her name or $100 million or whatever.
Same
Amen! So important to protect ALL victims, whether we like them or not.
KW Classic case of hate bombing. DV experts talk about love bombing so newer idea.. Narcissist's if cannot get attention any other way, will seek bad attention to feel in control.
Lock them up cause we are tired of this!
@@FieldTrippers 💜💜💜. This is the right attitude for sure! Invalidating someone’s trauma just because we don’t want to be bff’s with them makes us enablers in favor of abuse. We can stand together to face the problem of abuse, then go live our lives. Thank you so much! 😸
I still can't believe that I had to explain to my ex that telling a guy "No!" isn't as easy as it should be.
thank you for supporting and protecting Women
It is about time, lol, and I thank you Roy and Trevor, for being brave enough to stand up and state the hard truth. Violence against women is not just a female issue, it is never going to change without men caring about the issue, standing up for the issue, and changing the behaviors and thoughts that breed and promote violence against women. Thank you so so much for this video and for your efforts to fight against misogyny and sexism.
1. About time? I dont get that. There has always been violence agains women issues raised.
2. When men get involved, change their behaviour and thoughts that breed violence against women, then the violence stops?
As you know there are no violent women who hurt women. And dont get me started about mothers abusing their children who grow up to be violent. Those things doent exist.
3. Misogyny? It is hatred of women. Someone who hits a woman hates that woman? Is that your understanding and conclusion?
Your grasp of the topic is so infantile.
@@Antropovich it was a simple statement not my thesis about the issue. You’re entitled to your opinion. I am entitled to mine as well. Apparently you’re a real expert in the matter…. And making plenty assumptions on a couple of sentences I simply used to thank 2 men for speaking up against violence on women by men. Stating that there is violence by men placed upon women does not then imply in any way that there aren’t violent women. You being a bully who insults people and makes irrational assumptions says enough about what kind of person you are. It was about as simple a statement could be to thank them for their opinion and effort. Did you even watch this video? It was about violence against women perpetrated by men not the list of topics you’re assumptions are questioning. Watch the video.
@@innerworkshealing22 I wasnt objecting to you having an opintion. I was countering what that opinion entails.
That opinion you had that "we need to work on men" directly implies that "there be no work done with violent women".
You gave a solution to a problem, you kept a very big part of the problem out of your opinion. That is not irrational on my part.
IF you go run a marathon, do you also shoot yourself in the foot?
It is like that. You cannot solve the whole problem by focusing on half of it.
I told you that your grasp of the topic was infantile as you got so much of it wrong.
If you can, please answer about the misogyny part. I am afraid you made a huge mistake of causality there.
@@Antropovich think you should watch the video. Have a great day!
We need to work on men… that’s the whole point of the video!! Actually watch it and learn about misogyny. Or stay away from videos that you find infantile and incorrect. I didn’t give solutions, I literally rephrased THEIR ACTUAL STATEMENTS in this video to thank them for what they believe and say.
I've been the Director of two programs helping domestic violence victims. Brilliant, pointed, valuable conversation
People commenting 30 minutes ago on an hour long video DID NOT watch the video. Friends, please watch and sit with this video.
I hit like at 42 min. Wanted to do it earlier, but saw your comment. Then just SO MUCH resonated that I can't care less what else they say. I will definitely finish this video.
I sat with the video and feel a deep sense of anger of how the other side of the isle Roy a man sat back and didnt really understand what was said and how critical this issue really is for the side of all men. This felt disgusting and sickening as a man to almost be told it is my fault or our fault as men and worst that we should do better.
@@Phantom-vo8jy If you watched to the end, you would know that the problem is the abusive man or abusive woman. I see you've made it to your reptilian and limbic brain (defensive and anger). Now get to neocortex brain (analyzing).
@@lfredicus1358 You resort to name calling and bashing people yes I've watched the video and since my stance differs from yours you lash out. 🤔 No question who the more evolved intellectual is here. I thank you for proving to everyone here the issue I have with the video and the individual this inspires... people who press forth with flawed ideals on how to tackle issues and play the blame game till some one calls them out on their lack of responsibility.
@@Phantom-vo8jy What name calling are you referring to?
I know a woman that chooses to be morbidly overweight and not wear makeup or dress revealing just to ward off men. She' says its liberating and feels amazing to not be followed and hit on... Made me think for a second and reflect on what she said. It's a shame she has to put her health and longevity at risk just for peace of mind.
Seeking to be a victim isn't "liberating" sounds like some paranoid bs.
All my morbidly obese female friends/acquaintances have abuse in their backgrounds. As you say, it’s depressing that their health has to suffer, making them unsafe, so they can feel safe.
I dress certain ways to do this too. Don't wear makeup or cute clothes. We all have our shields we put up.
I stopped doing my hair and makeup after my divorce.
Absolutely excellent report and analysis. Roy, the more I get of your contributions in these casts, the more I appreciate your skills and perception. You allow your guests to drive the narrative, as is right, yet are quite deft at padding it with more things to consider. Very insightful; all three were in top form . 😎👏👏👏
I literally wear my great grandmother's wedding band when I have to take public transports, and I used to play loud podcasts upstairs when I would get a delivery to make it sound like I wasn't home alone (now I live in a private building so I'm protected by the grids and the several doors that require a code or a biper to get inside because I feel safer there as a student)... it's sad all the little things we have to think about all the time, and even then we're never fully safe: I once was abused by my ex in my own apartment (broke up with him and it was already long distance so I was safe afterwards but I still am unable to feel safe with anyone even in my own home...). This video is really important and I am glad that it gets to be talked about more !
Thanks for hosting these conversations! These segments are always so interesting, and pertinent.
It's much more important for a woman to be wary about her boyfriend and family because the chance to get hurt by them is much higher than to get hurt by a stranger.
Why is there no option of liking this more than once, so many moments in this podcast deserve their own likes!
I do the pretend my husband (who doesn’t exist) is just inside. I live alone now that my son has moved out. I leave my home alarm on all day, I work from home now. If I have a repair person in, I make sure my family knows. It’s so unfair.
Roy! And Daily Show crew, THANK YOU!! out here teaching us all. I learn a lot from your CP time talks and I hope men will learn a lot from this subject with the same open mind and recognizing their place of privilege.
Thank you guys for doing this. It's like a woman can't even be at work without getting cat called or harassed.
So if Men would completely ignore Women socially you wouldn't have a problem with it?
@@westernliberalwomanarchive2421 More than likely, Tasha would prefer to just be treated with the same respect as a man would.
@@lynnmckenney1987 Men need to just ignore Women, don't talk, don't look, don't nothing with them.
@@westernliberalwomanarchive2421 you think that the two options are either harassing women or ostracizing them or the silent treatment?? Dude you are a sick puppy if that is how you think.. like just being a normal human to woman is not an option...
Girl I have 5 little pepper sprays in my house: bedroom, studio, dining room, bathroom and secret place just in case. And my house is 1200 sq. ft lol, thinking about getting more. I have been planning survival and escape I think since I was 5. Which is about when that abuse happened for me.
I live in a rural area and my husband travels every week, which is fine, until your water heater goes out and suddenly you have a half dozen unknown men in your house doing repairs. The amount of time and thought that goes into "staging" is exhausting. Placing men's shoes all conspicuously all over the house, leaving mail out with my husband's name on top, putting out the giant water bowl and dog toys for the fictitious big dog, etc. Always trying to think of more and more things that might be a deterrent, and you still don't know if it's enough. It sounds crazy when I think about it, I feel silly, but there's that unshakable feeling that of course the one time I don't do all these things is when some random repair guy circles back at night and strangles me with a lamp cord or something.
This segment was helpful, though. I don't feel so silly. I just feel sad.
Thank you Trevor. The National Safe Parents Organization helps children when family court judges force children to live with their abusers.
I’m going to have to look into that. It’s been 4 1/2 years since I saw my baby. He’s 6 now and was conceived by assault, but I couldn’t prove that. I always find false hopes, but it’s at least looking into. Thank you.
"they'll respect an invisible, mythical man, husband, creature, than you're consent" WOW!
Even home can be dangerous for women, whether that be of their spouses or even just serial killers or stalkers…even online is dangerous at times
You can’t even be certain to trust your male friends, unfortunately.
@@ellanina801 ain’t that the truth!!
@@newkindofwarfare yeah, and reporting anything usually just gets treated like a joke or you’re lying. From what I’ve experienced and heard from others, at least.
Such an amazing conversation! Thank you! So spot on!
From southern California: Great discussion. Glad you brought up Kim Kardashian. Kim's family knows first hand what domestic violence can do. Nicole Brown Simpson was a friend of the Kardashians.
And yet their dad defended her murderer.......
@@Milkymommy09 Ironic, isn't it?
Men, ( and women) you can stop the abuse cycle by teaching your children to treat everyone the way they want to be treated.
Congratulations on this show🌞 All of your points and perspectives are so wonderful and refteshing😊
Roy. Thank you! Like Trevor, your approach is brave and beautiful imho🙏💚
I reported abuse to the cops. They didn't even want to take my report.
You’re probably a man.
Instances of domestic violence in police households is quite high.
Yes, men need to be educated on violence against women. They need to stand up for women. Can’t say enough about this awesome vid!!
Stand up for what women?smh
I believe, just keep talking about it. That will keep it in the forefront and it will make it harder to ignore.
YES!
I live in a village in Alaska. It’s not only dangerous to walk around at night here (which sounds crazy) but it’s very dangerous when I have to travel to Anchorage to go to the hospital or to go shopping. My boyfriend suggested staying at an Airbnb, which would be less expensive, and I would be able to buy groceries to bring back to our home. But I won’t be doing that. I have to stay at a hotel that costs twice as much, because it’s safer. Cab drivers, Lyft and Uber drivers won’t have the ability to come to my door. I have to be in a place where there are other people, period.
This was a great podcast. And you did it just right
@@busterofcoviddeniers the topic is violence against women. why the deflection? Why can’t you listen to criticism against male violence without taking it as a personal attack?
@@busterofcoviddeniers why does invalidating the subject of female dv victims help the cause for male dv victims? They pointed out that it’s an issue for male victims, and even according to your stat, 75 percent are female victims. Maybe instead of shutting down discussion against violence against women, you should lead a productive conversation about violence against men (which to be honest, even against men doesn’t mean it’s enacted against women). Shutting down women dv victims in favor of any other agenda is perpetuating the abuses against them and invalidated your argument.
So, let’s say, “It is so hard to go through that. I am a DV survivor as well. I have known of male domestic violence victims, so it is not just a woman’s issue, and we should continue the conversation to include male and other gendered victims as well. I think that if all dv survivors and allies, regardless of gender, stood together, we could really make a difference. It is necessary for all of our voices to be heard to enable victims to stand up to abuse, to make the necessary policy changes to protect victims, and to gain awareness so that people are more likely to stand up for victims rather than push them down.”
Much love.
@@busterofcoviddeniers hmmm wow. Bully much? I read what you said, clearly you didn’t read what I said.
@@busterofcoviddeniers the video topic was about dv against women, they specifically said that there are male victims multiple times. Discussion of male survivors is another video altogether, and they didn’t even talk about women’s shelters and whatnot. The way you brought it up wasn’t in such a way to expound on what was being discussed, but in a fashion that would invalidate the video. We can group the male and female victims together, and also non-binary and agender victims, but that would be a very loooong video. Also, the experiences are a bit different. And maybe there shouldn’t be male shelters because the solution will be different since there are fewer male victims, and you can’t put them in the same shelter as women. We can’t help male victims if we are diminishing the experience and the sheer quantity of female victims. Also, where are you getting your stats?
"they're simultaneously in control and out of control at the same time" exactly
A physically violent abuser is never *more* in control than when assaulting their victim. There have been studies made of such relationships, and when the abuser "loses control" at that moment their pulse, blood pressure, drops back to normal and mind calms, they are at their most self-controlled. "I lost control, couldn't help myself" is a lie.
Fantastic convo as usual. Roy is a great person
As a man, I say that it's fantastic that this channel and these individuals have spoken about several things that women have gone through, women are still going through & what men can do to stop it. Now, I hope one day that they can also address, in a separate episode, all the things men have gone through, are still going through, what women can do to stop it & how women can change their behaviour. I hope that episode doesn't take forever to exist. Equality is key.
This is a very needed conversation. The Depp v Heard case is a troubling display of control.
Glad for this piece. I dont think men think things are as big of a deal as it is because it doesnt affect them. But if the shoe was on the other foot.......
This conversation was so validating and helpful. Thank you for your work on this issue
This was an incredible conversation! I love this show. Thank you.
Thank you Daily Show and beyond the scenes 👏👏🙏 very educational segment
Some ex, who always blaned me for over reacting for everything. I traveled by myself to EUROPE and he could not understand why I would not be out until super late drinking with anyone who'd pop up. And made me feel guilty for the decisions to keep myself as safe as I knew how.
Thank you very much for this debate/talk, it's so nice to feel validated. Minimizing the violence is maddening, pure gaslighting. It is a CRIME, not a dispute...domestic violence sounds like an aggressive PET.
As you point out, leaving means losing your friends, community and career. Why do women have to leave? Why don't we deal with the aggressor? The world seems run by greedy male bullies 😞 and we all stick our heads in the ground.
Thank You for naming Gaslighting. The crazy-making leaves one lacking trust in others or self, how to ever know what’s true.
@@katsong3302 I totally hear you... It's crazy making, totally.
That happened to me recently.
@@bonnierobinson8684 sorry to hear that... not nice.
@CrazyNendo it is, it's psychological abuse.
Roy, you're doing great work. Very necessary.
Respect women's personal space as if it's your fellow man.
Thanks for sharing this episode! Traumatized! Every human is affected.
Thank you Christiana Mbakwe Medina for speaking out. Keep it up. Such an important issue that gets ignored. More power to both you and Rachel.
“shout as if someone was there” and “respecting the invisible man” are two incredibly relatable actions/ concepts.
Unfortunately, a lot of men, don't even respect the "invisible" man/ husband/ boyfriend. The most annoying comment I heard as a retoanswerrd to it was " I 'm not jealous." Which is double creepy.
Thank you all SO much for this. The onus to stop men from being violent should have NEVER been on women!
Thank you for posting this!
about 9 minutes in, YUP!
33 mins in, thank you!
Whenever I walk to my car at night, I clutch my keys with the points protruding between the fingers of my fist. Sigh.
Stay safe.
Same, even if I know no one is there, I'm still scared. And I look back and around again again
I used to as well, but my self-defense instructors have said this move could break your hands, and isn't effective to punch someone; you may hurt yourself more. It is better to carry a knife. I know it's scary, but I want you to be safe. I hope this advice helps. Please take care, and stay safe.
I've done the same, walking home
Don't. Unless you are already the better fighter adding keys won't help you land more. You are safer loudly going on Facebook live than hoping you can land enough solid hard punches to stop someone attacking you without any prior training.
If you have to fight, Throw your elbows. Get them bleeding, create space and use your Nikes while getting as much attention as humanly possible.
Mothers with sons also are responsible to educate their sons
A really well done discussion of domestic violence against women. Thank you all!! One approach that seems to help is a program for men who are put on probation, with regular check-ins with their probation officers..The most important thing they do though, is to attend a weekly therapeutic group based on “The Duluth Model” (as in Duluth, Minnesota.).The program lasts for a full year, which seems to be the key aspect that sets it apart in being helpful and healing. Most groups like this last 6 months. According to my sister who got trained in the model, and led a group in New Mexico for a year, it takes more than 6 months (more like 10+ months) for lifelong defenses to begin to soften and allow the person to get to the childhood traumas that underlie violent behavior in adulthood. The emotional injuries are patterns of abandonment and neglect to such a degree that in adult relationships,the person feels such fear that he needs to control his partner completely and that often includes physical, emotional, financial violence.
Thank you for bringing more awareness to this topic
I thank you for this whole show. Wow
Stop killing women. Stop treating us like property. Just effin STOP!🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Thanks to all of you for having this important conversation.
It is saddening to see the state of violence going on in our society for women. 🥺
Can you also do another segment about men mental health and men as victim of abuse? 🙏👍🏼
When I was in college in Georgia I lived in a house in a neighborhood that had been a low income residential neighborhood, but was being snatched up by landlords for students to rent. One night my boyfriend went out the front door to get something from the car and while he was out someone tried to kick the back door in. Luckily I had solid locks and my boyfriend came in, but I never felt safe in that apartment alone at night again.
Thank you for this...it's a great topic that needs do much more attention!!
Imagine downplaying or even denying the adversities facing *the other* (in this context, groups of people outside of your own sphere). Couldn't be me.
Like how men issues get downplayed similar to African Americans and the issues with racial profiling and feeling as though the judicial system is put in place to target them. How Hispanics feel that they are looked at as job stealers when they work a regular 9-5 sometimes for lesser pay and constant abuse and harassment but let me shut my mouth before the women censor me.
Wonderful program bravo violence against women is so ingrained in all cultures!!!!