Overcome Anxiety Issues with ERP and ACT
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- čas přidán 8. 07. 2024
- If you struggle with anxiety, try combining the tools and techniques found in Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for overcoming challenges and building long-term, sustainable mental health and fitness.
Yes! ERP & ACT are the best. It makes me so happy to hear people talking about this, not enough people do!
For mental sufferer mark is truly angel sent by god on earth...
😭😭😭😭mark u introduced me about my illness otherwise I had been going through hell but now i have absolutely great tool to combat the ocd and intrusive thoughts that attack against on my character... I daily pray to god for u... God bless you
How are you now?
"I should just take the free beer & run." Lmao.
thank you Mark. Please continue helping us
Mark. Your a hero. Thanks for another awesome vid.
Thanks for sharing this info, I will start working on these techniques, I think I'll benefit a lot from them.
Mark thanks again for this awesome video !!!!
This is really helpful. Thank you, Mark.
thank you so much. this videos are amazing. I hadn't heard about ACT before. I think this is very important for me in this moment. I think I have managed to mostly overcome my ocd compulsions using ERP , and I need ACT now. I have used ERP before, and after beating compulsions, when an anxious and fearful situation would appear I would restart again with compulsions. So I think the ACT can help me for the future and long term commitment to live healthy and not repeat the same behaviours leading to OCD.
You are a gift to us humans. Thank you.
Thanks for the kind words, Ben!
yea mark I m agree with you entirely....I m dealing with ocd pts and most of them are having pure o with mental compulsions...I practice ERP, ACT and meditation later in CBT, like after restructuring and reframing with cognitive component.....but ERP and Act really helps in OCD perspective...
Huma how R u feeling now?
Hey Mark, love this combo! I have been working at the ACT since we finished up working together, I totally agree that is such a great addition to ERP!
Scott Adams ACT really helped me keep things going after ERP, too. It seems so applicable to so many parts of life. Are there any tips you have, Scott, for applying ACT and sticking with it?
***** Hi Mark, sorry for the late reply, been crazy busy!! So an answer to your Question! What has helped me the most with sticking at it is MEDITATION!! I have a daily practice & it really helps me in the A in ACT, ACCEPTANCE! The C in ACT is where i COMMIT to my Values as best i can on any given day! ACT is no different than ERP in the sense that it is REALLY hard at first, but if you can stick with it even a little everyday NO MATTER what your brain is saying or how you are feeling, let it ALL be there just like in Meditation, You see it & you ACCEPT it & just continue on toward what you VALUE the most, over time it does get easier, SLOOOOOWWWWWLY but surely!!!One very important factor in all of the therapy for me is that over the years i have tried different books , therapist's , medications, herbal remedies, But the one thing missing was... ME DOING THE HARD WORK, After working with Mark, he opened my eyes to a lot of Compulsive behaviors outside of my OCD that were "keeping my Contamination OCD alive & well!! Again through Meditation i have been able to really recognize the behaviors much easier. I also thought that once i have done the therapy & the hard work that i would be "cured" of all my symptoms... I now have the approach that i must work at this daily, I don't look at it as hard work anymore, i just look at it as my NEW lifestyle!! Hope this helps some of the fellow OCDER'S out there!
im suffering from harm OCD. its been 2months now. i visited a therapy but they only prescribed supplements but it dont seem to help. i dont trust any of my local therapist now cuz i dont wanna be wasting money on things that dont work for me. im so afraid of balconies that i would go crazy and lose control and jump down cuz those are my intrusive thoughts. i know i had to face this irrational fears it seems so real that im constantly ruminating about it and it never stop. my brain is filled with ‘what ifs’ ever since even though i know im not suicidal. i cant focus on anything other than the threat my brain perceived. i only felt better when i watch utube videos like this or something regarding intrusive thoughts. im always feeling uncertain and anxious about the thoughts will control me or not.
Nicely put through. Very helpful.
Thanks!
Great video once again :)
Jonas Pieniniemi Thanks, Jonas!
Increíble incredible wow
i have o.c.d. and i am doing what you say in this video and it is WORKING :) :) THANK YOU so much!!!!!!
DO KIND ACTS You're welcome. Glad to hear it was useful.
And your videos gonna really help of massive...hopefully
Habituation and acceptance are synonyms
I really like the differentiation between ERP and ACT you made in this video. I always thought I did a sort of combination of the two (and it seemed like they both had lots of similarities).
I feel like I'm not mentally ill anymore. Most of the overt compulsions I had are gone, some linger and I'm in the process of getting rid of tiny little leftover compulsive behaviors. I'm now more focused on the long term.
One thing that confuses me a little: it seems like it is imperative to do the things I want to do to develop good mental health in addition to accepting the feelings. This kind of leads me to feel like I need to always be doing a bunch of stuff in order to be happy and not experience anxiety. My OCD prevented me from doing important stuff in my life and stifled me socially. Now that it doesn't do that anymore, I sometimes feel like when I have nothing to do, I'm doing something wrong. I feel uneasy when I have nothing to do, almost like I can't relax and be myself. I'm lead to wonder whether happiness and peace comes from doing things, or whether it can be found within myself. It almost feels like I have to do things in order to feel free of anxiety. I also feel like I don't enjoy being alone. I love being able to do things now, but I guess needing to feel like I am forced to do anything to be happy or content sucks, whether you are avoiding or doing something productive. Any thoughts on this?
Kamran That's great you're keeping focused on the long-term without the compulsions!
Something I found helpful was learning to practice non-judgment. And part of that is tackling beliefs. If you believe people are only being "good" or "healthy" or "right" when they're doing certain things, then you're going to carry that belief into your own life and you'll judge your own actions. So it can help to consider whether you hold any beliefs connected to this issue that might be making things problematic.
When it comes to focusing on the long-term, it helps me to focus on doing things aligned with my values. They're not good things or right things, they're just the things I do. That helps me be happy with the steps I'm taking in the present. Sometimes that involves doing nothing at all but breathing.
Anxiety disorders are all about trying to get rid of feelings we don't like. If you're feeling anxiety and you want to get rid of that, it might help to consider how you can embrace that feeling instead of trying to make it go away. There's nothing wrong with feeling anxiety. It can help to learn how to feel anxiety and all sorts of other feelings. If you make space for them in your life, then they're not so distressing. Trying to chase freedom from anxiety only leads to being trapped by it.
***** This REALLY helped, thank you! It was a combination of the clarification of the different uses of ERP and ACT as well as your reply that finally hit this point home for me!
I was still approaching things from a "if I feel the "right" way, I can go do things I want to do" rather than "I'll go do things I want to do regardless of how I feel." So then I began believing that I needed to go out be doing something all the time in order to feel right about doing other things I wanted to do.
But now I realize I can decide whatever it is I want to do, and regardless of how I feel, I can just go and do it! Accept all the feelings and just do things I want to do! So if I want to go out and be productive all day, regardless of what I feel or think, I accept that and do that! If I need to relax for a bit and hang out by myself, I just do that too! Whatever I end up feeling can be accepted and dealt with but I don't need to feel any specific way to do anything!
This is so great, because I wasn't sure where I was at with my OCD recovery. Many overt compulsions were gone, and yet I still felt anxiety and the urge to engage in compulsions. I was still chasing after feelings before doing things I wanted to do. Now I totally realize what my values are, that they can change, and that I can do whatever it is I want and not worry about if its "right" or if i'm doing it correctly or if this is the wrong way to take care of my mental health. It's great!
Yes, anxiety, uncertainty, and all sorts of uncomfortable feelings all have a place in my life! I'm not confined by them, and they can actually make things more exciting!
Kamran Those all sound like useful insights! Enjoy the excitement of not being confined by uncertainty!
***** Thank you! Very glad you are making videos again, thought I had it all figured out but I learn something new from each of them!
*****
actually, i've gained a lot of help through his videos and find lots of what he says to be really simple when it comes down to doing it in practice. besides, it's not really "his" stuff, the information comes from what therapists do in their office. thanks to Mark and the correspondence i've gotten from him over the past year and a half, i actually don't need to visit my therapist anymore (though I know it's okay if I ever need to do so again).
i get confused every now and again and the process of recovery involves a lot of messiness and confusion throughout, much of which i've had to learn to just accept. in my day to day life, i'm more empowered with the help of practicing ERP and ACT, as well as getting help from Mark and my own therapist.
i hardly think about anxiety and OCD and don't spend my time riddled in fear any more, sometimes i'll come to youtube to clarify things. hope this helps you see that Mark isn't someone to fear, though I can understand being wary because the internet can be a very uncertain place.
Hi Mark, your channel is great, thank you for the concepts shared here. I am not able to find the video you mention here concerning the use of mobile phones. Where can I find it? Thanks very much.
Hi, Mark! Thanks so much for your videos. They've been really great for starting my recovery. My problem is that, where I live, nobody seems to approach mental illness recovery through this (here called) alternative therapies. Most places or proffessionals I've found are very conventional: they either provide psychoanalytical therapy (which I've been doing for years, even before my mental illness began) or give out medication (which I already tried and didn't like). So I have nobody to guide me through this kind of therapy, only the Internet, which is not always enough. Another challenge is that I deal with a few anxiety issues, but my worst problem has been Pure O. I've been doing MUCH better, but my mind is still extremely active all the time and I can't stop judging absolutely everything... which eventually leads to engaging in my theme thought patters rather often. Any advice you could give me on any of those topics?
More Pardo Thanks! I'm glad you've found the videos helpful. One option you could explore is working with somebody online. Many therapist work online via video chat. I also take on clients over the Internet and we do a weekly video chat call with follow-up emails or we use Google docs to track cutting out compulsions during the week and introducing healthy activities. As long as you have Internet access, distance no longer needs to be a barrier to accessing effective help. As for dealing with multiple issues, I always recommend seeing them as a single thing. You only have mental health. There are common patterns at work in all anxiety issues, so viewing them as separate diagnoses or disorders isn't always helpful. The way a person gets over OCD or social anxiety or generalized anxiety disorder or panic attacks is the same. Tackling all of it together, holistically, tends to be the most effective approach. You might also find that it's useful to treat compulsions in your head the same way you would treat compulsions outside of your head. And it might also be useful to not label it as Pure O. Judging is a compulsion, not an obsession. If you're doing something as a reaction to an obsession, then it's not Pure O. It's just regular old OCD. Recognizing that can open up many opportunities to cut out compulsions and help yourself towards recovery.
Hey Mark - You're the best, I've been practicing these tips you've been offering online over the past few months. I've recently been trying to get rid of a compulsion using the Uncertainty Curve. On my first try I lasted 3 days, my second try 6 days, and now I feel like i'm just anxiety ridden and trying to muster the courage to give it a third try. I have HOCD - so I engage in compulsions to reassure myself that i'm straight, and this revolves around looking at pictures online to see which gender turns me on. After 9 days, will I really experience a big drop off of anxiety? Just kind of struggling right now because I've been completely engaging in my compulsions and living with a high level of uncertainty.
Nick Skulstad That question you asked is a reassurance compulsion, too. One thing that's important to remember is that it helps to start small and build up to the compulsions bothering you the most. Starting with the compulsion bothering you the most, like you've done, is like trying to run a marathon before learning how to run a mile. You likely have many compulsions you could start on cutting out to learn the skills to tackle these other compulsions. It can help to approach it like physical fitness. You gradually builds up your strength by taking on more and more difficult challenges.
Thanks Mark - I'll do just that! I'm going to identify the smaller ones and tackle them first.
Hi Mark/Everyone! I've been trying to find the video you mentioned about using cellphone checking as a way to start practice cutting out checking but can't find it! Does anyone please have a link? P.S. Thanks so much Mark you are doing fantastic work!
+Mark Freeman Do you recommend starting with smaller obsessions or just go for it with whatever is it that i´m dealing with? Because im tired of ocd controlling my life. I want to be able to not perform all these rituals that i have to feel "good".
I always recommend starting with the easier compulsions. It's like any skill--it helps to learn the basics and work up to handling the bigger challenges
Mark, thanks for all the videos, they're very helpful. I have a quick question if you have a moment. I have an obsession that borders on paranoia. I've become very worried that I might say something in public that might cause someone to try to harm me. The compulsion I perform is to not partake in conversation with others and avoidance of public places. How can I accept this worry when the consequence of not performing the compulsion could be harm or death? Thanks again!
You're welcome, Josh. Many compulsions revolve around death and the fear of harm, to ourselves or others. One thing I always suggest is to start cutting out easier compulsions and practice accepting other fears that might not frighten you as much. Then you can work your way up to learning how to accept death. It's tough but I'd say it's one of the most useful fears to finally tackle. But it is usually something people tackle near the end of their recovery journey. It was something I found very useful.
So true. I can't handle anxiety. I lose sleep and end up in the ER.
When I accept I won't get much sleep, I sleep better. Does it work like that?
What if getting to where you are to be happy means leaving things that no longer grow you or make you happy? I know we shouldn't chase calm but should we chase anxiety with everything?
Hey Mark~ I just started ACT a few weeks ago for anxiety issues - its really hard well maybe not really hard but its taking time of course and I need to be patient! Any tips or advice you can give for those just starting ACT? Thanks! Great Video!
sophiaahamed Thanks, Sophia! That's great you're getting started with ACT. I hope you find it useful. I am going to post a video of tips that help with ERP and ACT. I filmed that video when I filmed this one and I'll upload it tomorrow. But in the meantime, here's the list of tips that are going to be in that video:
1. Take a broad perspective with compulsions. Compulsions are anything a person does to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty, anxiety, and other feelings they don't like.
2. Throw out judgments and unhelpful beliefs. Compulsions are a natural result of holding onto a belief, judging something as being incongruent with that belief, experiencing feelings you don't like because of that judgment, and then desiring to get rid of those feelings through compulsions. You can make much faster progress when you make changes further up that system. Judging things is a compulsion that always leads to more compulsions. Throwing out the unhelpful beliefs can stop the cycle of a mental illness before it can even gets started. If you try to cut out the compulsions but don't get rid of the beliefs, judgments, and desires that precede them, you'll just keep feeling pressure to relapse.
3. Recovery is a skill. If you spend 30 minutes each day trying to cut out compulsions and you spend the other 14 hrs that you're awake engaging in compulsions, of course you're going to continue to get better and better at engaging in compulsions and your brain will think of more and more ways to engage in compulsions. Engaging in compulsions is a skill just like not engaging in compulsions is a skill. Pick the skill you want to develop.
4. Relearn emotions. Is anxiety a bad thing? Beliefs and judgments about feelings you don't like can change, especially if they're not helping you.
5. Don't seek reassurance. It's a compulsion.
6. Articulate very clear, actionable values. Rather than spending time on compulsions, what do you want to be doing? Where do you want to be putting your time and energy? Rather than reacting to uncertainty and making it the focus of everything, you're going to be accepting what you feel and allowing those feelings to come along with you as you do the things that are going to make you healthy and happy--what are those things?
7. Eliminate patterns, not superficial anxieties. Anxiety disorders work in patterns throughout our lives. Somebody may go to therapy because they're bothered by relationship anxieties--they're constantly judging how they feel, what their significant other is doing, they're always checking their text messages and emails to see what their significant other is doing, worrying that they'll get dumped and end up alone, constantly seeking reassurance from their significant other. If they're practicing that in one area of their life, it's likely they're practicing that in other areas of their life. They might be doing that at work, for instance, constantly judging their own work, judging what others are doing, what their boss is saying, worrying that they'll get dumped and end up broke and alone, constantly seeking reassurance from their boss or avoiding responsibility at work or any other number of compulsions. They don't have work anxieties and relationship anxieties--those are identical patterns. And if they want to get over their anxiety issues, they have to eliminate those compulsive patterns in every situation. They can't just say--Oh, I'm bothered by my relationship anxieties but I don't think there's a problem with checking at work because that's my job! What if I get fired?! 8. Meditation is to mental fitness what running is to physical fitness. Meditation can be a big help with learning that you are not your thoughts, feelings, or urges, and that those are things you experience. Letting them govern your decisions is no different than judging the clouds in the sky and letting those judgments determine your actions. Practicing meditation is especially helpful for learning to put some distance between you and the stuff in your head. You can experience thoughts and feelings and urges and decide what you want to do with them.
9. You don't get to stop. Bodies fall apart. If you practiced for a 5km run and you ran it, and you then stop practicing, you will very quickly not be able to run 5km again. That doesn't mean you have a chronic slowness illness. That's just how bodies work. If you don't want to go backwards, don't. Anxiety issues aren't chronic, but health is chronic, and each decision we make each day affects our health.
10. Learn to accept big underlying fears. Compulsions usually come down to fears about death, relationships, and resources. Until you learn to accept those fears, you'll always be pushed back into compulsions.
11. The majority of things fuelling mental illness won't bother you and are totally "normal". Normal is the waiting room of mental illness. It's where people live while they wait for a diagnosis. Don't go back to normal.
12. Focus on where you're going. Fighting something we don't like can quickly become its own compulsion. It can help at the start to tackle acute challenges but don't let your challenges define you. If you measure success by getting rid of problems, don't be surprised if your brain keeps giving you problems so you can enjoy getting rid of them. Shift the focus to where you're going. The challenges you're overcoming are just bumps on the path of a much longer journey to a much greater destination.
Hey mark, your videos are always helpful to me. I have a question: how do I do to not ruminate on a problem? When I have something in my life, or anything that goes wrong in my day, I tend to ruminate on it. I know it will not solve the problem, but it seems I cannot avoid it.
There's two things I'd suggest: 1) Ruminating is a compulsion and we have to choose to do it. So exploring why it seems like you do it and can't seem to stop may expose some other issues to tackle. 2) Ruminating typically follows other compulsions, like judgment. If we judge something as wrong and we attach many labels and lots of meaning and extra baggage to that experience, it would be very natural to become anxious and ruminate on that wrong experience. But if we don't like that, we don't have to engage in the first compulsion of judging it. So when something "goes wrong" in your day, it might be useful to explore why that experience is "wrong" and whether it's useful to you to judge that as wrong if you know the outcome of judging something as wrong is that you'll end up making yourself miserable with ruminating.
Thank you for your help, Mark.
how to get out of compulsions.
Is this compulsion stuff work while your on medication only? Or What if I have told my doctors I don’t want to take any medication because I then don’t want to be addicted to medication. I want to try things naturally like meditation, exercise, yoga and this compulsion you speak of?
The compulsions ARE the problem. Cutting out compulsions doesn't "work" for anything. I wouldn't see it as any different if somebody said they're trying to use medication or yoga because neither of those is going to make the necessary changes for you. You can do psych drugs or yoga and keep on doing compulsions and nothing would change. Building better mental health requires us to make changes in our actions and ways of interacting with thoughts and feelings. There's no way around making those changes.
Can you do ERP for something that happened in the past where you're having trouble forgiving others/ forgiving yourself/ moving on?
ERP is about cutting out compulsions. The compulsions are always in the present. Most anxieties are about the past or the future. The changes you make still happen in the present.
hello mark I have been watching your videos and they have helped me a lot but there's only one problem I have and it's the problem of rewatching your videos because a lot of times after watching your videos and tbh I actually do understand everything you say but after sometime anytime I am doing ERP I tend to remember what you said then I get a thought that "maybe that's not what you said" which now gives me doubts that you did not say that which leads me to go back and rewatch your video to confirm that what you said is what I thought you said that am actually right about the things you said and that I heard you right....at the moment I can't afford a therapist but I'll need your advice on this because I think it's a compulsion but am not sure
That's definitely a compulsion. It's useful to cut out! You can see there's an uncertainty there, like any other, and then an attempt to chase certainty.
@@everybodyhasabrain thanks alot
Hi Mark. Thank you for your videos. I just found you today. I run a support group. How do I advise people that have fears of doing something harmful to others as part of their job. Engineers that are afraid they will miscalculate and the bridge will fall, pharmacists that fear giving the wrong dose, mechanics that fear they will leave a brake bolt loose, etc. I think you will say they need to face their fears in their imagination because actually facing their fears is not practical....intentionally miscalculating, intentionally giving the wrong dose, intentionally leaving a brake bolt loose, etc. However, I'm not sure imaginal exposure is enough to get over a fear.
Hi Nicholas, thanks for watching the videos and running a support group! Peer support groups are such great help to so many people. One thing to keep in mind with this particular challenge is that it typically applies to anybody that has OCD. Somebody that's afraid of eating rotten meat or somebody that's afraid of harming a loved one or somebody that's afraid they might hit somebody with a car, isn't going to intentionally do those things to overcome OCD. Here are a couple of things to consider:
* You might find it useful to explore ERP or ACT techniques to share with your group. Those would focus more on cutting out compulsions. All of the people in those jobs you mentioned have opportunities to not engage in compulsions as a reaction to those fears. The compulsions drive the obsessions. I wouldn't think they need imaginal exposure if they're doing the work because working gives them the opportunity to experience the uncertainty and, instead of reacting to it with compulsions, act according to their values.
* I always encourage people to focus on the consequences of their obsessions coming true. For example, "I might leave a brake bolt loose" is what I call the superficial topic. It's not the fear. The fear is the consequences of that. What they're actually afraid of might be people hating them. So the brain latches onto the thing they believe will make people hate them the most: being responsible for the deaths of others. The fear of being hated is the thing to work on. If they don't tackle that underlying issue, then OCD will just jump around over the years, finding new ways that person might be hated. That's what leads to people thinking they have multiple "themes". It's just OCD finding new superficial topics. But the underlying fears fester.
* A great way to deal with these underlying fears is by cutting out compulsions. With a fear like being hated, there are likely many compulsions a person engages in as an attempt to control what others think about them. It's important to cut out all of the compulsions related to that fear. The ones that bother that person are only the tip of the iceberg. Somebody who's afraid of leaving a bolt loose might also compulsively reread emails to look for errors, or they might avoid social situations where they don't know anybody. Superficially, these could look like disconnected compulsions, but they're all reactions to their fears about what others think about them. Even if they did cut out the compulsions at work but they didn't cut out the other compulsions, they'd just find themselves developing new compulsions.
Mark Freeman Thank you for your extended response, Mark. I will watch your other videos and research your suggestions. I imagine fear of being hated is a common theme.
Nicholas Hoffenpiper You're welcome!
Hi Mark,
I read your book 'The Acceptance Field Guide' yesterday. Since I have read it, I have started looking at ocd in a very different way. Everyday before going to college I just start crying because of the intrusive thoughts in my head. I see it as a place where only normal people can survive all the daily stress and not me . But today when I woke up , a gruesome thought popped in my head and i remembered ur book and didnt react to my thought in any way.
I just have a doubt that is not reacting to the thought in any way and accepting the thought the same thing?
That's great you found the book useful. I wouldn't get too stuck on trying to get acceptance "right". That's just another way to practice OCD by trying to be certain. Instead, it can help to shift the focus to doing what you care about. It doesn't matter what label you stick on things. You can call it "not reacting to thoughts" or you can call it "acceptance". What matters is that you're doing things that you care about. Do those things!
Thanks Mark for explaining and all your videos are very helpful and awesome.
Thanks, Falak!
Mark, in your opinion, how is the best way to detox from social media, because i've heard in your videos that you speak about internet addiction and also cell phone addiction. So how does one detox. Stop everything cold turkey or what?
I find that social media is very useful. It's how we use it that creates problems. So I wouldn't approach it as "detoxing" from social media. Instead, I'd detox from all of the compulsions.
Can you share the link to the video you mentioned 'super simple mental fitness exercise' pls?
It's down now. I covered it more in-depth in my book.
@@everybodyhasabrain Well that would explain why I couldn't find it lol
Do you consider the "Brain Lock" method ACT? It seems similar but I can't tell..
I would not consider it at all to be ACT
Interesting. Do you recommend doing it? My therapist has me following it..
Hey Mark, I kind of combined both of these and personally named it ARP-Acceptance and Response Prevention. What do you think?
The thing is, you can't accept something if you're engaging in compulsions. Acceptance isn't happening if you're responding to the experience. The Response Prevention is implied in Acceptance. I'd say the unique thing that ACT adds to ERP is the Commitment component. In ACT, you're not just cutting out the compulsions when you have an experience, you're also choosing to give your time and energy to things you value.
@@everybodyhasabrain What has been helping me is Acceptance of the OCD intrusive thoughts, feelings, sensations, doubts, etc, and then learning not to give into them or neutralize them being the Response Prevention part (ARP), something I made up. Just a thought. But a combination of both works great also. Oh, you’re saying the commitment part is very important? I see what you’re saying. It’s nice to have these discussions to help each other.❤️
Very interesting new concepts for me to consider but this may take time for me to learn how to use these new ideas to the fullest benefit.
Hey Mark, Your videos are great. I get worried that even if I beat the OCD I will end up getting it again and which depresses me and demotivates me to start the process to remove it like ERP and ACT. I dont know how to remove this kind of anxiety, I try to distract myself but anyhow these thoughts come again and again and once it appears I would continue thinking about it for a very long time.
Aditya Shah This is like any other fear--reacting to it and trying to get rid of it is the problem, not the solution. If you react to the fear of getting OCD with compulsions, then it's very natural to continue struggling. Welcoming uncertainty about experiencing OCD is an important step to take on the journey to getting over it.
Hi Mark, so what if the feelings are not the problem? But the thought repetitive annoying pattern that prevents you from focusing on things like exams, studying or work "things you value"? It's fine I can handle the feelings but when the thought keeps repeating in my mind I can't focus on studying or working :-) I would appreciate your answer as I think this is the only barrier I have
From my perspective, you wouldn't be having difficulty focusing if you weren't feeling something. But whether you call it a thought or a feeling, it's an experience that you're having. You can put that experience in charge of your actions or not. When you stop studying or working and let that experience take charge, that's like any other compulsion. So it can help to work on having that experience try to pull you away and then instead of letting it, bring your focus to what you care about.
Hi Mark, thanks for your answer :) I normally have a lot of study pressure so I don't have the choice to stop studying because I can't focus, I always keep studying and I don't surrender, however, I always feel sad because 1) I feel I'm not concentrating well enough and this feeling doesn't go away It's with me for the whole school year 2) I feel I'm not achieving my true potential 3) I'm going to be waaaay behind my friends because they don't have the same struggle. I really love learning and I want to achieve my goals and I put in hours and hours of work but I end up 1) not focusing on the exam for the same thought pattern 2)losing marks because of it 3) missing my goals and the grades I want 4) seeing my friends succeed and know I'd be in their place If I wasn't struggling 5)the thought gets stronger and even If I try to let go I'm reminded of all the exams I've got the thought in and how I couldn't concentrate or answer questions correctly.and because I'm graduating next year the thought just gets scarier, I feel I'm wasting time searching for a cure every day when I should be studying and preparing for next year. sorry to be chatty :-) I just wanted to let it out to someone :)
@@noura4701I HAVE SAME OCD PATTERN LIKE YOU HAVE EVEN IT IS VERY CONFUSING THAN YOURS WHAT TO READ WHAT NOT WHAT IF FAIL TOO MUCH ANXIETY
@@ajaydhoraliya2076 I'm sorry to hear that I know it is a very bad experience. The comment was one year ago and in this period I have gone through medication. it helped a lot. It'd be best to visit a psychiatrist if you can. it's very hard to do this on your own
@@noura4701 THANKS FOR REPLY BUT I GONE THROUGH CBT BUT IT DOESNT HELP AND I THINK SHOULD GO FOR MEDICATION
Hi Mark, you said ERP is about doing the things we normally do but don't engage in the compulsions, but how about imaginal scripting where you write down the worst case scenario of what u fear most, record it in an audiotape, and then listen to it over and over again? I heard this is an ERP method to deal with fears whigh cannot be replicated in real life (e.g. Obsession about going to hell). I tried to imagine my worst fears coming true and felt really guilty for bringing on these thoughts on purpose, so I gave up. Does this counts as an effective method?
Personally, doing something repeatedly to get rid of a fear just sounds like a compulsion to me. And I've never met a person with hell obsessions that didn't have compulsions in the real world. So I'm not sure why a person that's afraid of hell would do something like that unless he was trying to find a way around actually cutting out the compulsions inside and outside of his head. BUT avoiding something just because of a thought also sounds like a scenario wrapped up in compulsions. When I was doing ERP, I found it very useful to accept that my worst fears had already come true and now I needed to put my time and energy into things I cared about because I was about to die later that day, or go to jail, or everybody would hate me, or whatever terrible thing was going to happen. That can be a very powerful tool to show the brain how we want to act. That's still very much about actions in the present, though
Mark Freeman Thank you for replying! From what I've read, the idea of an audiotape on loop is to ensure that you get reminded constantly of your obsession and then practise not doing any compulsions, physical and mental. That means the person will be going on with his or her day while listening to the recording loop in the background, until the person habituates to the obsession.
Just wondering about what you've said about treating as if the worst fear has already happened. If you accept that everyone hates you for e.g., then doesn't it mean that you are just gonna go on with your day in solitude? I don't quite get how that will be good for erp..
If you went about your day in solitude but you value relationships and being with people, going about your day in solitude would just be a compulsion. Why would you avoid people? We can accept the worst possible scenario and then show our brains how we want it to act. That's what I meant about putting my time and energy into things I care about. ERP is about cutting out compulsions. So if a thought popped into my head that somebody hated me, I'd accept that they do hate me! If I value talking to them, then I'd go up and talk to them anyway. Or maybe I value doing something else like speaking up or performing something, then I'd do that. Or maybe I'm afraid that leaving the party or something like that would make them hate me even more, but I value getting sleep and taking care of my health, so in that case I'd accept that they will hate me even more, but I would go home anyway. It's ok that they hate me. I'm not trying to chase a feeling or get something (that's what OCD and social anxiety are all about). I'm there to give and focus on my values. So I can accept that fear and do the things I value. I can give instead of trying to get and chase some feeling.
Mark Freeman So actions are really what matters, not feelings or thoughts... But feelings can be unpleasant, it's hard to totally not let them bother you one bit. Just like if I experience headache all day, I can still do the things I value but it's gonna be a struggle because the pain will be in the background. It's only natural to want to chase good feelings because bad feelings will take away some joy from u. My question is, is it just gonna be a struggle everyday becos try as we might, feelings will still affect how much we can derive joy in the things we do?
But feelings and thoughts are great! There's no reason you can't have feelings and thoughts while you do things. It could help to look at the compulsions you're engaging in around those feelings and thoughts. If you're judging a thought or a feeling and hating it and wishing you had some other feeling, then of course that's going to cause all sorts of problems. That's like hating clouds. How can you live under a sky that has clouds in it?! Won't that just be a struggle everyday? How can anybody feel joy when a cloud could pop up at any moment?
Would you say that ACT is, in a way, exposure therapy in itself?
Not exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is kinda old. ACT is similar to ERP, but there are some useful differences. I find ACT very helpful for cutting out mental compulsions. And it has the focus on values, which gives people somewhere to go when they're cutting out compulsions, so they're not just sitting there waiting to relapse
@@everybodyhasabrain That's a pretty awesome way of thinking about it. I've been to a few ACT conferences, got to pick the brains of Mark Dixon, Kelly Wilson, and a few others. They kind of compared ACT to ERP in the sense that when these unwanted or unhelpful thoughts cross our mind, we don't engage in escape maintained behaviors in attempts to get rid of those feelings, rather, we accept them, be curious about the feeling, and take it with us. The more we accept said inevitable experiences and not try to escape or avoid, the less negative impact it has on us
I get triggered unpredictably, from just about anywhere. Then i spiral down to ruminating until i realise and then stop. Triggers get me from just about anywhere and Im having a hard time understanding what to do about it. Please tell me about it, Mark. Thankyou in advance.
This is why it's useful to keep the focus on the compulsions. Then it doesn't matter where a trigger comes from. We're in charge of how we interact with the stuff around us or in our heads
@@everybodyhasabrain I have tackled my compulsions to quite an extent but what about anxiety attacks that come without any obvious compulsions? I wake up with raging anxiety every morning that brings me close to tears. But they dont come with compulsions, just terrible and horrifying voices and thoughts in my head. This is something that has newly begun, been about a week. But i feel like im drowning slowly. Thankyou for replying Mark.
It could help to expand how you define a compulsion. I would actually see all of that is being wrapped up in compulsions. As well, when we're struggling with mornings, it's useful to look at things we were doing the previous day. Compulsions are like hitting ourselves in the face with a hammer. If we wake up with a lot of pain from that, we might hate on the pain, but the real issue is all of the time we spent the day before with the compulsion hammer. The pain or anxiety we experience from that is only a natural reaction.
Wish you were my therapist. :D
What i found about OCD that mental compulsions are way harder then phsyican tho. Unfortunately I'm experiencing mental compulsions, having problems with OCD thoughts and feelings. I have a question Mark, about ERP, somehow i don't get it, do I have to expose my self to the most darkest thoughts, like causing them on purpose, or just to let them float in my mind and not reacting or judging to them, and also about the feelings, should I do the same, I am sorry for bothering, but visiting a therapist at this moment is not possible, cause I'm currently volunteering in a Hospital. Not getting paid for that :/
And I am looking to buy your book Mark, atleast I can afford that :)
Would you be so kind to tell me how to order and how much money would it cost? Thanks in advance, best regards. :)))
I can just send you a pdf of The Acceptance Field Guide. Send me a message through the contact form on my website: www.markfreeman.ca As for your question, can you explain a bit more about what you're trying to do? ERP involves cutting out compulsions, whether they're mental or physical. It doesn't change if the compulsion is in your head. It's still a practice of learning to cut out the compulsion.
Thank you very much, I'll send you a message on mail. Deffo. Well I am trying to let my thoughts be in my mind without judging or paying attention, but what makes me confused is, that is really hard for me to recognize compulsions, I do have one and I have recognized which is when i have anxiety I keep searching for symptoms on google, to make sure it won't happen to me, for example I've read about depersonalization and derealization and i got frightened that it might happen to me, and simillar things like that, which makes me really worried. Hope you got my point, sorry haven't been speaking and writting English in a while. :/
P.S. Will send you a message now.
hi mark
its me again I have a question I know tht I am not supposed to give reassurance for ocd thoughts but what abt negetive thoughts like eg: more anxiety can make me go crazy! or I Will stay anxious forever if this thought linger for more time I get anxiety attack ! my therapists said to give rational answer to my mind for this questions . she said it will not be an reassurance .but I feel like it is a reassurance ! wat do u have to say for this?
Silver Dust I don't differentiate between thoughts. And those anxieties you mentioned are all typical anxieties people react to with compulsions. It can help to practice acceptance instead of reassurance because trying to convince yourself those things won't happen only reaffirms to your brain that they're things to be afraid of. The more you try to reassure yourself, the more your brain will worry.
so how to calm down my mind when I have a attack?
let my worry be worry only I mean when do I put positive thoughts into it?
Don't. OCD is like an addiction. The "attacks" are the withdrawal. If you react to the withdrawal with the compulsion, it just keeps the cycle going. It helped me to recognize that it's the compulsion that leads to the attack. Getting the high of relief leads to the withdrawal. If you don't like the withdrawal, stop chasing the high. Hopefully your therapist can help you through the difficult withdrawal without engaging in compulsions.
I am sorry mark I am an indian some words confuse me wat r u referring to I dnt get the proper meaning of "withdrawal" can u tell me in other way? :-)
I have a question about anxiety acceptance: Is it ok to tell yourself to feel/accept and tolerate anxiety and uncertainties (like a phrase) while you're anxious to focus better on those feelings? Or is that some kind of compulsion? Thank you
I always like to remind people that they're already very skilled at accepting many things in life. And they probably don't spend time repeating a phrase around those things. For example, when you walk past garbage on the street, do you tell yourself it's ok to tolerate that garbage? That the garbage is not you? Or do you just continue on to doing whatever it is you actually want to spend your time and energy on?
@@everybodyhasabrain
True, it is actually better to just accept the negative feelings without any particular thoughts/phrases. I was actually now obsessively wondering how to "correctly" accept anxiety?!
Thank you
@r.w.d It can also help to not judge them as "negative". Just like hating on garbage on the street as a negative thing won't be a useful way to spend your energy
@@everybodyhasabrain
One last thing. I really don't understand what it means to "accept" ego dystonic feelings. What does that mean in detail? Is it like an ego dystonic thought just taking notice and then ignoring it, or is it more. Or do you just allow the feelings to stay?
Greetings from germany
@@fallingideals I don't know what you mean by that question. You might be getting stuck on that "ego dystonic" label. I wouldn't find that useful. Trying to discriminate between ego dystonic and syntonic is something I see people just doing a lot of compulsions around. It was more useful for me to see all feelings and thoughts as experiences.
Interesting
True.
How do i tell my parents about my hocd?
Caoimhe Ryan Personally, I would tell them about OCD or anxiety. Often, there may be a particular set of OCD symptoms that bother us the most. Many of our OCD symptoms are things we tend to view as "normal" reactions to anxiety or just personality quirks. But then some symptoms come along that really bother us and that's what a person will often label as their OCD "theme". But their OCD is much bigger than that theme. Overcoming it is going to involve tackling many different issues, not just the ones that bother them the most.
Overcoming OCD is just like learning how to run a marathon--if you want to run a marathon, you'll have to practice several days each week and make many changes in your life. None of those changes and none of those practices will involve actually running a marathon. It's only after months of practice that you run the marathon. OCD is similar--if the thing you want the most is to get rid of HOCD symptoms, you're going to need to practice doing many things and make many changes that seem to have nothing to do with HOCD. But those other changes will give you the skills and abilities to deal with those symptoms you want to get rid of the most.
I've got a video here on OCD "themes" that might be useful czcams.com/video/5FNkLhVd5KY/video.html It's great to talk to parents to get their support in getting help. You know your parents much better than I do, so you'll have a better idea of how to approach them to get the help you want. One thing I've seen work well is talking about how anxiety is interfering with your life. For example, saying: "I just spent two hours compulsively researching things online about my anxieties and I can't stop and I can't get my homework done," can often work better than: "I'm worried I might not be who I think I am." By talking about how anxiety is interfering with your life, that can help others see the problem. But when we just share what we're anxious about, if the other person can't identify with that, they might just say: "Don't worry about that."
All the best as you the journey continues!
+Mark Freeman "Don't worry about that." I hear this and things like "I help you" , but I don't feel understood really and when I say that, I get "I know, you are afraid" but they still want me to run a marathon as if they don't have idea of getting used to little by little so I it makes me as if I'm distant, cold, don't care
My problem is when I'm doing the ERP, I get the thought telling me " if you accept these thoughts, then you will become them"
Fears like that are very common. Remember that ERP is about cutting out compulsions. So you can work on a fear like that by cutting out the compulsions around it.
Mark Freeman Thank you. Its strange, I've also had this thought of " how do you know this or that isn't or is a compulsion" , its these conundrum back door spikes I get
It can help not to see them as "back door spikes". OCD is all about uncertainty and reacting to it. So there's nothing "back door" with just another uncertainty. "How do you know this or that isn't or is a compulsion?" Is just an uncertainty about something bad happening, like any other uncertainty.
Mark Freeman I'm going to implement that knowledge. I really appreciate you Mark. Thanks again !
Help me sir please
I am an Indian and I am suffering from religious ocd for the past 10 years My parents are very religious too but i dont think they have ocd. I have done infinite compulsions and obsessions. But now in my graduation time my ocd has become very very severe. Almost every second i have obsessions. Mu exams are just 2 months away and I have not studied anything because of my ocd. My ocd has become so severe that in the 24 hours of my day whatever i do i feel like iam offending god. So once i assumed that god doesn't exist and then i thought that now i am gonna be okay, but few days back my did a fast for my career and long life. And due to my ocd a thought came in my mind that now if my heal, that means god healed me. This was a trigger for my obsessive thoughts. So now i think that god is healing me and i am just offending god as before. So indirectly i 'm not healing and i have lost all hope of healing. I know that due to my ocd i gonna ruin my career or end my life. Iam a very poor person and i cannot afford to see a psychiatrist and even if i arrange money and go to a psychiatrist people will think that he is mad and boycott me and my life will ruin anyway. I think my case of religious ocd is more complicated than anyone else in the whole world. Sir please help me.
Please sir please. So overall my main problem is i think that if i heal it will be done by god due to that fast and i feel guilty that god healed me and i am still offending god as before. So i lost all hope of ever healing truly.
Sorry to hear about the struggles! It's very normal to believe that our case is unusual and complicated but what you're describing are very common compulsions. It is entirely possible to get over OCD and leave it behind and do the things we want to do in life. But it does require changes. For me, it helped to see that I was always doing compulsions to get things. Trying to get things only created the opposite things. You can see that in the fast you did for your career and long life. Trying to do things to get something only created more anxiety! Instead of trying to control the universe and get things from it, I find it can help to make a shift to giving. We can also use this when studying. The focus is not on trying to control the future with what I do. I study to give my energy to learning. At the exam I will share my knowledge and give it. Whatever happens to me is fine. I will continue to give!
@@everybodyhasabrain thank u so much sir
I disagree with what you said about ERP not having a follow up. With ERP you learn all the skills to continue not having the illness after you're better. Also, it's not only for stereotypical symptoms. I've seen people do exposures for Pure O and mental compulsions, including myself. You just have to get creative! I agree with everything else, though! :)
ShalomAlechim Thanks for mentioning that! I completely agree with what you said. I probably should have explained more about that in the video. But it's exactly because you have to get creative with it, that I said that. When I was getting therapy, it felt that ERP was in a very structured box. So there were compulsions we didn't deal with because they didn't fit in that box. Afterwards, on my own, I had to get creative. I didn't know about ACT at the time, and my way of getting creative, I later learned, was essentially what's involved in ACT. So I think when a person does ERP on their own and they really take that creative, proactive approach, it totally works phenomenally. But I think if a person is doing ERP in a clinical setting, it can sometimes be more limited and a person that's not as creative or not as understanding of what's going on, might be more helped by ACT in a situation like that. I find that ERP totally works for Pure O symptoms, too, but I do get lots of questions from people asking how to do that and I also see lots of people doing it in a way that's just about checking and testing. So it can be tough.
Ahh, okay! Thanks for explaining that! I agree. I don't know much about ACT, but the way you explained it in the video reminds me of stuff I've seen people do with ERP as well.
Hey bro where can I talk to u asap!!!
Edward Serrato Usually it's helpful to see the urge to quickly solve some problem as just more of the stuff that gets us struggling. Building better mental health is a practice, like building better physical fitness. It's not a thing we can fix with a question right now. But if you want to talk to me about a great place to get pizza right now, that's much more necessary and immediate and then we can talk right away 🤣
Hey Mark sorry man! I didn't see your post...your channel and book your not a rock are helping me to make sense of all of this anxiety ..
Hello Mark I'm frm india and what to talk
can reiki help
Suzanne Cheung Cutting out compulsions helps
do you mean I avoid peoples and compulsions? There is free group here Nov 19 Sat. Are these spiritual issues too.
I don't understand why you would avoid people. That sounds like a compulsion
I was threatening them as I angry them? They said me mental ill not their false.
Threatening people is a compulsion. You don't have to threaten people.
but what does erotic role-playing have to do with ACT?